- 5 months ago
First broadcast 11th April 1986.
Oz makes an attempt to get to know his son.
Jimmy Nail - Oz Osborne
Timothy Spall - Barry Taylor
Gary Holton - Wayne Norris
Tim Healy - Dennis Patterson
Pat Roach - Bomber Busbridge
Christopher Fairbank - Albert Moxey
Kevin Whately - Neville Hope
Julia Tobin - Brenda Hope
Val McLane - Norma
Su Elliot - Marjorie Osbourne (as Su Elliott)
Madelaine Newton - Christine Chadwick
Donald McBride - Douglas
Denise Welch - Jean
Vincenzo Nicoli - Sandro
Jimmy Rushton - Foreman
Phil Parker - Terry Atkinson (as Philip Parker)
Barry Hollinshead - Rod Osborne
Oz makes an attempt to get to know his son.
Jimmy Nail - Oz Osborne
Timothy Spall - Barry Taylor
Gary Holton - Wayne Norris
Tim Healy - Dennis Patterson
Pat Roach - Bomber Busbridge
Christopher Fairbank - Albert Moxey
Kevin Whately - Neville Hope
Julia Tobin - Brenda Hope
Val McLane - Norma
Su Elliot - Marjorie Osbourne (as Su Elliott)
Madelaine Newton - Christine Chadwick
Donald McBride - Douglas
Denise Welch - Jean
Vincenzo Nicoli - Sandro
Jimmy Rushton - Foreman
Phil Parker - Terry Atkinson (as Philip Parker)
Barry Hollinshead - Rod Osborne
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00No one said it was going to be easy
00:16Nobody said it had to be fair
00:25All of the chances taken together
00:28And all the changes we had to share
00:34Well, you think we've made it all worthwhile
00:42Then you realize no one cares
00:49But we're going to get it right this time
00:54Cause we've passed the point of no return
01:00And we're never going to go down alone again
01:08Do you know something, Ned?
01:34I don't think I've ever been this far, no
01:37Have you never been to Scotland?
01:38No, I've never seen the point
01:40Oh, it's grand up there, man
01:42It's Scotland
01:43Beautiful
01:44So has no fumbling
01:45It's just round here
01:48It's a bit manky
01:49Give it a chance
01:51Well, Margie hasn't got a big one
01:53Will you ring me?
01:54All right?
01:55Right, will do
01:56Turn on, then, turn off
01:57Hey, Oz
01:59If you're separated from Margie
02:02Won't this be a bit awkward, like
02:03What?
02:05Well, you know
02:05Just turning up on the doorstep
02:07Expecting to Doss for a couple of nights
02:09Particularly with a mate tagging along
02:10And there'll be three of us when Barry arrives
02:12Oh, I'll be all right
02:14I'll be all right
02:15I've only got a couple of needs
02:16Anyway, I'm still a bloke
02:17Got a piece of rent
02:18Do I forget?
02:19Are you?
02:21Well, I'll read, I'll read
02:22Well, he's not recently
02:23He's been a bit hungry recently
02:24But I'm still the official council tenant
02:26Did you see her when you got back from abroad?
02:29No, she had a bairn
02:30I'm with her sisters
02:31Bairn, I want to say, actually
02:33I brought in a real poker jacket from this day
02:36It's American football, yeah
02:37Dolphins
02:37Nice
02:37What a little fricking up
02:38How old is he?
02:40How old is he?
02:42Er, let's see
02:42He was born a year Newcastle got relegated
02:45So I'll have to make him, er
02:46Ten
02:47Eleven
02:49Ten or eleven
02:50I hope you'll be warm enough in that spare room, Wayne
02:54We don't use it much, so there's no heat in there
02:56Don't go to any bother, love
02:57I'll feel bad enough about landing myself here as it is
03:00Ah, it's only for a couple of days, pet
03:01It'll be all right in Spain, eh?
03:03Well, if you ever get there
03:04Well, we got the off, haven't we?
03:05That's why we dragged ourselves up here
03:07To your lovely metropolis
03:09I know, but things don't always go according to plan
03:11Where Ali Fraser's concerned
03:13Oh, we're still on the payroll, pet
03:15That's what counts
03:16Nev, can I borrow your bathroom, mate?
03:19I want to freshen out a bit
03:20Sure, straight up the stairs
03:21It's not very convenient, this, you know, Neville
03:30What is it?
03:32Having Wayne here
03:33Why not?
03:35I've got enough to do with the hospital without coming home and cooking meals and things
03:38Well, you don't have to, man
03:40We're used to looking after ourselves
03:41Well, why can't he stay in a hotel?
03:43He drives a BMW, so it's not as if he can't afford it
03:45Why didn't you tell us this last night?
03:48I phoned you last night to say it can Wayne
03:50Stay and you said, yeah, fine
03:52He was standing next to you in the pub, Neville
03:54I could hardly see anything else
03:56Right, I'll tell him it's not convenient
03:58You will not
03:59Look, you don't have to get anything in
04:06We can't own the pub and get a scotch egg for our dinners
04:08How does that make one look?
04:10If I can't accommodate a guest in me own house
04:13This is one of them arguments that neither of us can win
04:17Oh, I'm sorry, Neville
04:21It's just that we've seen so little of each other recently
04:25And now you're off to Spain
04:26I just thought it'd be nice if we could have a couple of days on our own
04:30Look, I've been thinking
04:32If the money's as good as I say it is
04:34I'll fly you and Deb's out there towards the end of the job
04:37Give you a bit break, a bit sunshine, eh?
04:39Really?
04:39Well, yeah, you deserve it, man
04:40It's very tempting
04:42But what would the lads say?
04:43Oh, I didn't give a toss what the lads would say, Brent, eh?
04:47Keeping down with them lot every night is not my idea of fun
04:49Seems a bit extravagant
04:51I mean, all I wonder is
04:52Wouldn't we be better off doing at that spare room?
04:55Cheers, mate
05:22Cheers, mate
05:26What's the damage?
05:27Three quid, mate
05:28Oh, it's cold
05:32Rest through the hole
05:34Right, sure, all right, sir
05:35Very nice
05:46What floor are you on?
05:49Four
05:49Nice view, then
05:51Oh, terrific
05:53At night, you know, when you're standing on the balcony with your
05:56Martini tumbler
05:59Clocking all the twinkling lights down below
06:01You could warn I being in Manhattan
06:04As long as you keep your eyes shut, eh?
06:13Four, three, two, one
06:14All right
06:15All right
06:16What, lozenge?
06:18Yeah, great
06:19Who the hell are you?
06:37Who am I?
06:38Who am I?
06:39Oh, he's more like, I think, isn't it?
06:41Huh?
06:42Got your feet under the table quick enough, didn't you?
06:44Look at this, 26-inch pie
06:47You built that, did you?
06:51Oh, there you are
06:51I might be a couple of weeks behind with me payments
06:54But that does not give you the right to barge in here
06:56As if you own the place
06:57I do own the place, actually
06:59Mate, I'd only recognise it, mate
07:02You've done a nice job of the decorating
07:03Do you mind telling me who you are?
07:07Who I am?
07:08Ask the last man, she'll tell you who I'm is
07:10Oh, she will, will she?
07:12Yes, she will, will she?
07:14Hi
07:14Jean
07:14Get yourself in here
07:16Who's Jean?
07:19Hello
07:20Oh, sorry, I didn't know I had company
07:22So, this is what goes on, is it, when I'm on the backshift?
07:27What goes on?
07:28I wasn't born yesterday
07:29This bloke's even got his own key
07:31Hold on, hold on, I think there's been a bit of a mix up here
07:34Er, yous live here now, do you?
07:37What does it look like?
07:39Ah, well, you see, the last time I lived in Newcastle, this was made gaff, see?
07:44So I just naturally assumed me wife and kid would still be here
07:46Oh, aye
07:47Aye
07:49Osborne, does that ring a bell?
07:52Osborne, me wife was called Marjorie
07:53That's right
07:55That was the name of the previous tenant, Douglas
07:57There you go
07:58In fact, there's a loripost here for her
07:59Did you leave her forward in her dress out like that?
08:03No
08:03Os
08:04What?
08:05I reckon we should go, find somewhere else to dust tonight
08:07I'm not interested in finding somewhere to dust, man
08:11I'm interested in finding me kid
08:12I suggest you ask the neighbours, pal
08:14And I'll have the key, if you don't mind
08:17No, Neville, not here
08:23What?
08:24It's not the right place
08:26Well, in our bed, in our house
08:29At night
08:30Well, would you rather do it to the squash club?
08:33Wayne's here
08:34Well, what's I got to do with Wayne?
08:35I'm not doing it with him here in the house
08:38Why not?
08:40Because he'll hear one
08:41Oh, ma'am, he'll not hear us
08:43We can hear him gargling, so he can certainly hear us
08:46Well, he can hear one
08:48You'd mentioned this last night
08:50I certainly wouldn't have asked him to stay
08:52You should have thought it through
08:53Oh, Neville, it's just too inhibiting
08:56You never used to say that before we were married
08:59When I used to come round to your parents' place
09:01That was different
09:03My parents went to bed very early
09:05There were sound sleepers
09:06And you used to have Match of the Day on at full volume
09:09And you used to watch it
09:12Wayne'll not be listening, man
09:16That Sony Walkman never leaves his ears
09:18I mean, how's he going to hear us with Twisted Sister
09:20Blasting into his brain cells?
09:22He might
09:23You're not, Marlon
09:24It's not like we're noisy, Brent
09:25It's not as if you're a screamer
09:26What?
09:28Well, it's not like you're one of them frenzied females you hear about
09:32You know, how they scream, shouting, bark
09:35Bark? You want us to bark?
09:36Shut up, man, Brenda, Wayne'll hear us
09:38What are you all doing?
09:42Thank you
09:50Thank you for a lovely evening
09:51It's not over yet, is it?
09:53Oh, come on, Dennis
09:55You hate dancing
09:56I know that, but, er
09:58I thought if you came inside, you see
10:00I could, er, show you my favourite bits of love made tender
10:03Oh
10:03No, I don't think so
10:06I've got to be up early in the morning for work
10:08Well, it's only half past eleven
10:09It's not just that
10:12Oh, no, don't worry about our gnome
10:14I'll tell you what
10:15I'll take her down the cellar
10:17And I'll chain her up against the wall, eh?
10:19Okay
10:19No, you know what I mean, though
10:22It's her house
10:23I just don't feel very comfortable, that's all
10:26Yeah
10:26I just haven't seen you for ages, have I?
10:30Off to Spain in a couple of days
10:31Just thought we could have a chat, you know
10:33Well, perhaps a coffee
10:36Great
10:38Here, I'll do it for you
10:40What's the matter?
10:44Two horrible men
10:45Any chance of a cubber?
10:57Shh, man
10:57Who's the taunt?
11:01Take your voice down, will you?
11:02Me sister's asleep, man
11:03Get in there
11:04Hope we didn't sabotage any romantic tete-a-tete
11:10Well, you didn't help
11:11Well, wasn't she then to talk in the car?
11:14Nobody you'd know
11:15Well, obviously, if I knew who she was, I wouldn't be asking who she was, would I?
11:19Call her Christine
11:20She had a very nice motive
11:21Where'd you all last keep my glasses then?
11:24There?
11:25You got a furrow now, Moxie?
11:27Aye, yeah
11:28It's a nice house then, Moxie
11:29It's a nice house then, Moxie
11:31It's lovely, aren't it?
11:32That's drilling, I think, you know
11:33Hold up with a Julia's pleasure of your company too then
11:36Hey, Dennis, I happen to have had a particularly fraught day to day, I can tell you
11:40Well, he can tell you it's how much sort of day I've had to day, Moxie
11:43Particularly fraught then?
11:44Well, that was the Portland shut, was it, for renovations?
11:47Oh, ho, ho
11:48No, she's Marjorie, she's done her running
11:50Oh, man
11:51What are you talking about?
11:53Oh, what's he talking about?
11:54What he's talking about is, you know, my flat, my home
11:58Can't zoom day to day, Marjorie doesn't live there any more
12:01Will you not try her mother, she must know
12:02Oh, she knows, she knows the mother
12:05Not tell me, though, would you?
12:07No, she said Marjorie's got a chance to better herself now, you know
12:10Improve her life like after all these years of neglect
12:12I'll read, I'll read Moxie
12:13She doesn't want him showing up at this point in time and bollocksing you're all up for it
12:16Ah, reep, man, Moxie
12:17We'd never need the whole nine yards, thank you
12:19Look, I'm not bothered about them
12:21I just want to make sure my Bairns been taken care of, that's all
12:24It's a bit late in the day for that, isn't it?
12:28What's that supposed to mean?
12:30Eh?
12:30Well, you've hardly been the do-hunting parent, have you?
12:33I've been abroad, haven't I been working for the Bairns' future while abroad?
12:36Look, Oseman, when you came back from the States, you came up here, didn't you?
12:39But you mustn't have gone near that flat
12:41You would have found all that out then
12:42Well, that's where you're wrong, you see, Dennis
12:44Because I'd only been back four of the lads, hadn't I?
12:46So I was still in the Portland
12:47Then I bumped into Eddie Huggins and
12:49Oh, what a skimple
12:50But he was telling us that their lads had told him that
12:53Well, lads had went to stay in Blackpool with her lads
12:55And she dragged the Bairns over there
12:56So I had to do it with my mother's, that neat
12:57And then the next morning I seen you in, you told us about the job
13:00And, well, you know, the rest's history
13:02Aye, well, look, tomorrow, right?
13:03You can go and talk to Marjorie's friends
13:04Or go to that place where she's to work
13:05It's not tomorrow
13:06I'm worried about, though, Dennis
13:07It's tonight
13:08What do you mean?
13:10Well, we need some way to keep them
13:11Well, I've promised Moxie you've got
13:12What you don't mean, yeah, look, you can't
13:13Wait
13:14Promise to put Bomber up, man
13:15Well, a couple of needs
13:16Just an heat would be, I mean
13:18Well, why don't you go to your mother's?
13:20My mother has?
13:21It's 11 o'clock at night, man
13:23I kind of knocked her up
13:23But this time she's born high 70 years of age
13:25Well, you should have thought about that
13:26Before the pub should, shouldn't you?
13:28I haven't got her a present
13:30In fact, that constitutes a rigorous proof
13:39But for other shapes, like this one, for example
13:42We never had an open university when we were kids, did we?
13:47Secondary modern for us
13:48With a wind coming through the broken windows
13:51Teachers who didn't give a toss
13:53Whether you got O-levels at Boston
13:54Victims of the system, Moxie?
13:56Yeah, yeah
13:57Nowadays, though
13:58I mean, you get up
14:00Stick the kettle on
14:01Sit in front of the telly
14:02And four years later
14:03They give you a degree in physics
14:05Great
14:06Oh, hey
14:07Think there's a bit more to it tonight, you know
14:10I mean, er
14:12Getting up at six o'clock in the morning
14:14To watch this sort of tackle
14:15Is not that easy, is it?
14:16True, yeah
14:17And I mean, then what happens
14:18If the old man's on the cow
14:19And they keep repossessing the telly, yeah
14:21They're lying in the cattle truck, then, isn't it?
14:23Oh, yeah
14:24But education, though
14:26I mean, that's the key, isn't it?
14:27Now, why should we
14:28You tell the old kid, though, when you find him
14:30Oh, I will do
14:32It's a chip, you know, what's doing all this
14:35The silicon chip
14:37There, yeah
14:39Transform the whole of late
14:40Which one, ah, that man, the chip
14:42Technology
14:44Industry
14:45Manning levels
14:46Don't they also use it to make women's tits bigger?
14:50Aye, aye, it's got loads of different applications
14:52Who's that?
14:53Who's that?
14:56Morning
14:56I see you've found yourself some breakfast
15:06Aye, aye
15:07Well, we'll replace it, mate, you know
15:11He's with Ali Fraser
15:14Oh
15:15We, er, we thought you'd gone to work
15:18I've been on the trail of his Marjorie
15:20Oh, that's not your job, Pip-man
15:23I'll get on to that once I've
15:25I'll have washing a shave and that, you know
15:27Well, if you'd like to know
15:30Your rod is at Walker Street School
15:32And if you could possibly get yourself together
15:35By about four o'clock
15:36You just might be able to see him
15:38Come on
16:01Come on
16:02See you
16:02Come on
16:03Icat in, Icat tore it
16:03Icat in, Icat it
16:04We so can't
16:04See you
16:05First you
16:05Seth
16:06Rod, Rod.
16:29Hello, son.
16:30You all right?
16:32What?
16:33All right, you're shooting up, aren't you?
16:36No, you wouldn't do it, I don't suppose.
16:41Er, well, look, come round.
16:43I've got a present for you, come round with a gate.
16:54Yeah, I've not... I've not little feet.
16:56I didn't realise you'd be so big, but try it on.
16:58This is... this is a Pukka American Football Jacket.
17:02It's from America.
17:03I know.
17:05You know?
17:06Miami Dolphins.
17:07Right.
17:08I'm going to sit that ball.
17:09Not bad.
17:10I wish I'd got us a steal, lads.
17:12What for?
17:14Support them.
17:15I didn't think you'd even heard of them.
17:18Channel 4, every weekend.
17:20Favourite sport.
17:21Well, what's happening in Newcastle United?
17:24Rubbish.
17:25Well, er...
17:26Look, I know we haven't seen each other for a while, like, but, er...
17:38Do you want a nice scream or something?
17:40No, I've got to catch a bus for them.
17:42What, is your mamma coming to you at the gate?
17:44I'm ten, Dad.
17:46Oh, right.
17:47Right.
17:48Right.
17:49Of course.
17:50Well, how well, we'll get you on the bus.
17:52Well, my mamma didn't get it at the town, back in the five.
17:55Oh.
17:56Where you living, though?
17:57Benham.
17:58Sandra's house.
17:59Who's Sandra?
18:00The bloke we live with.
18:01He's an Italian.
18:02Is he?
18:03Well, look, I know you haven't seen much of me for the last couple of years, but there's
18:04reasons for that.
18:05I mean, I had to go and draft and abroad, you know, because there's no work there in
18:19the yard.
18:20And, well, you see, me and your mother...
18:22Do we like each other?
18:23No, no, no.
18:24It's not that.
18:25Er, it's just that...
18:26It's just that, well, grown-ups tend to have ups and downs.
18:30Just like you.
18:31Well, I'll read some, that's as may be, but that doesn't mean I don't like you, you
18:36know?
18:37Doesn't mean I don't love you.
18:39So, from now on, you and me are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, are you?
18:44Aye, we'll have to be quick, because we've got to live in Italy for next month.
18:47No, I can't leave your number.
18:48I'm in the north of England, aren't I?
18:49Look, if this Spanish job comes off, I'll be away from it.
18:50Right, so I just thought maybe we should get together and...
19:02All right, if you can't, you can't, okay?
19:04Give me love to your folks.
19:05Hello, Wayne.
19:06Did Neville get you some lunch?
19:07Yeah, shared some cottage pie with Debbie.
19:08Where is Neville?
19:09Tainted down the park.
19:10She's a lovely kid, eh?
19:11Yeah.
19:12Reminds you some tea?
19:13If you're making some.
19:14Look, I used the phone.
19:15That should cover it.
19:16I'm sure that's too much, Wayne.
19:17Well, I did rub it on a bit, and it was to Germany.
19:18I didn't have a phone in your wife, were you?
19:19Yeah.
19:20You haven't said she was in Germany.
19:21Is she visiting the family?
19:22Yeah.
19:23I'll see some toast next time.
19:24Actually, Krista isn't visiting her parents.
19:25She's gone back there.
19:26She's pregnant.
19:27That's wonderful.
19:28No, it ain't.
19:29No, it ain't.
19:30No, it ain't.
19:31No, it ain't.
19:32No.
19:33She's not sure to go down the park.
19:34She's a lovely kid, eh?
19:35Yeah.
19:36If you're making some.
19:37Here, look.
19:38I used the phone.
19:39That should cover it.
19:40I'm sure that's too much, Wayne.
19:41Well, I did rub it on a bit, and it was to Germany.
19:47I don't know if she wants to have it, but she is sure she don't want to stay with me.
19:58I blew it, Brenda.
20:00See, I really wanted to be married to her, you know, but I just guessed I was too immature
20:05to be married.
20:06Other women?
20:07Yeah.
20:08Look, the point of loving someone is to prove it to them, right?
20:11Which means giving all the rest of the birds the elbow.
20:14Not responding to every bit of skirt that passes you in the street.
20:17Not being tempted by any bird that flashes you in the boozer, you know.
20:21I mean, I wanted it both ways, and that's out of order, isn't it?
20:24I'm afraid it is, Wayne.
20:26Here, look.
20:27Don't tell Neville about this, eh?
20:29I don't want the lads to find out.
20:31You're the only woman I've told about this, apart from Hazel.
20:34Is Hazel one of the other women?
20:36No.
20:37No, Hazel.
20:38Barry's fiancé, Hazel.
20:39Oh, Hazel, yes.
20:40Sorry.
20:41It's funny, isn't it?
20:42I find it so much easier to talk to birds about this than fellas.
20:45I suppose that's the old ego, eh?
20:47You know, Wayne, if you could tell Krista what you've told me and Hazel,
20:51that might make all the difference in the world.
20:53No, no, it wouldn't.
20:54Not unless I changed, and I can't see that happening, love.
20:57I mean, basically, I want every woman there is in the world.
21:02Present company excluded, of course.
21:04Oh, thanks very much.
21:05Oh, no, no.
21:06Not that I don't find you attractive.
21:08I mean...
21:09No, I mean, I wouldn't...
21:10I wouldn't do it with a mate's burden.
21:11No, no.
21:12I would...
21:13Not that I wouldn't want to.
21:14Oh.
21:15Because, if you know what I mean, with me mate...
21:17And you're very...
21:18So we could...
21:19I think I understand, Wayne.
21:21It's not uncommon in men of your age.
21:24You seem to feel you have a need to prove that your sexual magnetism still works.
21:30Yeah, yeah.
21:31I suppose that's it then, eh?
21:32Jammer, Marmite.
21:33I'm going.
21:34What?
21:35Your husband wants to see you.
21:36No, can it be?
21:37It's been ages since anybody's seen that beggar.
21:38He says he's your husband.
21:39Oh, is he Italian?
21:40Italian?
21:41Uh-huh.
21:42Oh, it didn't bite him, if anything.
21:43Big lad with a hole in his teeth.
21:44Oh, my God.
21:45It is me husband.
21:46I don't want to take over, will you?
21:48No.
21:49No.
21:50No.
21:51No.
21:52No.
21:53No.
21:54No.
21:55No.
21:56No.
21:57No.
21:58No.
21:59No.
22:00No.
22:01No.
22:02No.
22:03No.
22:04No.
22:05No.
22:06No.
22:07No.
22:08No.
22:09No.
22:10No.
22:11No.
22:12No.
22:13No.
22:14No.
22:15No.
22:16No.
22:17No.
22:18No.
22:19No.
22:20No.
22:21No.
22:22No.
22:23No.
22:24No.
22:25No.
22:26No.
22:27No.
22:28No.
22:29No.
22:30No.
22:31No.
22:32No.
22:33No.
22:34No.
22:35No.
22:36No.
22:37No.
22:38No.
22:39No.
22:40No.
22:41No.
22:42No.
22:43No.
22:44No.
22:45No.
22:46No.
22:47No.
22:48No.
22:49No.
22:50No.
22:51No.
22:52No.
22:53No.
22:54No.
22:55No.
22:56No.
22:57No.
22:58No.
22:59No.
23:00No.
23:01No.
23:02No.
23:03No.
23:04No.
23:05No.
23:06No.
23:07No.
23:08No.
23:09Where is it?
23:10Milano.
23:11What?
23:12Milano?
23:13I suppose that's Italian for Milan, is it?
23:14You're talking a language already.
23:15Look, he'll turn out a lot better there than he will living here.
23:18And how's this Sandro Gadgie?
23:20He's my boyfriend, and as soon as the divorce is final, he'll be my husband.
23:24Well, what sort of bloke is he?
23:25Well, he's not you, Oz, so there's a marked improvement.
23:28A waiter, is he?
23:29How do you know that?
23:30Well, he stands to reason, doesn't he?
23:32I mean, any whopper chinky that arrives on Tain say he's bound to be a waiter.
23:35I mean, they didn't come up here to build ships, you know.
23:37He'll be opening his own trattoria in due course.
23:41His dad's sick at the moment, and that's why Sandro's going back to help him with the business.
23:45Yeah, so every time I want to see my kid, I've got to hop on a day of flight to Milano, have I?
23:50I told you, you don't have access.
23:52I can get it, can't I? I'm his legal dad, you know.
23:55Are you going to take me to court, are you, Oz? I would love that.
23:57I'd love my day in the dock telling a few long overdue home truths.
24:00Oh, man, you haven't got a leg to stand on.
24:03You've been out of his life for three years.
24:05I've been, I've had to be working abroad, man, haven't I?
24:07Had to go to Deutschland, and then the Falklands.
24:09The Falklands, don't tell me that wouldn't have an emotional sway with the courts in this country.
24:13You weren't there during the hostilities.
24:15I was there during the aftermath.
24:17And one of the things that got us through was the thought of putting a little quid away for the Bairns' future, man.
24:21Well, we saw precious little of it.
24:23But...
24:24And then you went traipsing around America.
24:25That must have made a hole in it.
24:27I mean, those boots kind of punchy.
24:28Oh, shut up, man, Marjorie, will you?
24:30Shut up!
24:31Look, man, we can stand here at argument with a blow in the face, right?
24:34It's going to do me good.
24:36Because we're never going to agree on nothing.
24:38We never could, we never will, right?
24:40But I don't care what you think, right?
24:43I just care about me Bairns.
24:46I want to hear it from him.
24:48All right?
24:50Well, you're not going to us.
24:52You're not seeing him, and that's that!
25:10Good day.
25:25Good day.
25:26Good day.
25:31Good day.
25:35You've got good dressings, Wayne.
25:48Never let me wear anything like that.
25:50It wouldn't suit your pet. Wayne's got the hips for it.
25:52This place I'm supposed to be meeting us, you know the anchor, what's it like?
25:56No, it's not the place I go after, Doc.
25:59It's not full of headbangers, is it?
26:01You're probably going on to the princess after.
26:03Yeah. Water-walled Crumpet.
26:05Yeah? Hey, Mum, is it all right if I stay out till midnight?
26:09Not a minute later, mind.
26:10I'm only doing it for your sakes.
26:12Thought you might like to be alone.
26:14Oh, there's no need to go out on our account, Wayne.
26:16Yes, there is. Can you get him a key, please, pet?
26:19Yeah, I'll get the spare.
26:24Yeah, listen, Wayne, if you pulled and ate, didn't drag it back here, eh?
26:28Yeah. Yeah, what'd you take me for, eh?
26:31An animal.
26:31Yeah, but I wouldn't abuse your Brenda's hospitality, now, would I, eh?
26:36Maybe not now, but after a few drinks, it hasn't got a conscience, has it?
26:40Now, look, first of all, I'm not in a mood for chasing it, all right?
26:43And secondly, if I was, I've got a beautiful car, reclining seats, lovely heater,
26:47so it's a bloody sight warmer than your spare room.
26:49Hello.
26:57Hello.
26:58You must be Marjorie.
27:00I'm sorry?
27:01Um, I'm Barry Taylor.
27:04Er, you're expecting me.
27:07Are you a friend of me husband's?
27:08Yeah, that's right.
27:09It's old Booker's me and him, yeah, yeah.
27:10Didn't he mention me?
27:11Just a minute.
27:12It's a friend of yours, Pat.
27:20Who are you?
27:32Er, Barry.
27:33Barry Taylor, um...
27:36Where's Oz?
27:38Oz.
27:39Oh.
27:39Oh, I'm a bit sorry.
27:42There must be some...
27:43It's a little mistake.
27:44See, um...
27:45Is this flat 23, Emanuel Shinwell House?
27:50Aye, that's us, but there's no Oz.
27:52Um, Osborne?
27:54Oh, Marjorie Osborne.
27:57No, Pet Marjorie doesn't live here anymore.
28:00Ah, this is pretty terrible.
28:03There's a whole bunch of us, you see.
28:05We're supposed to be staying with the three local lads.
28:07In fact, I'm way up the roster.
28:09Look, Wayne's supposed to be staying with Neville
28:11and Moxie and Moxie are supposed to be staying here.
28:13Oh, I'm very sorry.
28:15I'll sleep on the sofa and you can move in with the missus.
28:18Douglas!
28:19She's terrible.
28:20I mean, paying off the taxi.
28:22I've locked all my bags up here
28:23cos I lifted some working, you know.
28:25Well, you can lug them back down again, can't you?
28:29Under the streets of an area like this.
28:31Aye, mate.
28:33Don't rubbish my area.
28:36We live here
28:37and you
28:39don't.
28:46Excuse me.
28:48I wonder if I could just use your telephone.
28:50Is she asleep?
28:58Yeah, dead to the world.
29:00Great.
29:01Oh, yeah.
29:01Cheers.
29:03Mmm.
29:05It's nice, this.
29:05Not too sweet.
29:06Ah, yeah.
29:09Hey, listen, I've been thinking.
29:10Hmm?
29:10Well, hey, I've not seen each other for a bit.
29:13Wayne's away old, depends asleep.
29:14I thought maybe we could have an early night.
29:16Half past eight?
29:18Well, it's not on the box.
29:19I don't think I can get to sleep this early.
29:23Oh, hey, Brenny, you know what I mean.
29:26Oh, all right, then.
29:28As it's a bit early, you'd better take the phone off the hook.
29:30All right, and I'll nip up and put the electric blanket on, no, eh?
29:35There's no need to.
29:37I did that 20 minutes ago.
29:41Norma?
29:42Yeah?
29:43Where have you put all my records?
29:47What?
29:48When I moved in here, I brought a whole stack of records with us.
29:50I put them in that cupboard there.
29:51Oh, I gave them away.
29:54You did what?
29:55We went for Ethiopia.
29:57That was my collection, Norma.
29:59Well, the beans have left some cassettes around here.
30:01Look, man, I'm talking about classics.
30:03I'm talking about Janis Joplin, Creedence Clearwater Revival.
30:06You can't tell me you are going to play them now.
30:09I was, as a matter of fact, aye.
30:10Oh, well, if you're feeling nostalgic, Pet,
30:12why don't we get the family photograph out of the boat?
30:15That'll be bummer.
30:16Are you picking him up?
30:17No, you get a cab.
30:19It's a phone box, it's in.
30:22Buddy?
30:23Where are you?
30:25I've no idea, mate.
30:27It's taking me bloody half an hour to find a phone box.
30:29It hasn't been vandalised.
30:30Oh, you're in Newcastle.
30:32Oh, surrounded by drug addicts, muggers and bloody rapists, mate.
30:37Aye, of course, we forgot how you're supposed to be staying at us's, weren't you?
30:40No, him and Moxie's staying at his mother's.
30:43Ah, wait, she'll not be on the phone.
30:45There'll be no room there, anyhow.
30:47Erm, well, we, we cannot manage, you see,
30:50because me sister's already putting, er, putting a bummer.
30:53Why don't you try, Neville?
30:56Well, you cannot be engaged forever, man.
31:01Banana bloody Roma.
31:02Is that our bell?
31:10Well, I gave him the key.
31:11You can't have lost it.
31:13Oh, no, it's only 20 to 10, man.
31:15It cannot be waiting.
31:16Well, who is it, then?
31:17I'm not a clairvoyant, Brenda.
31:24Aye, aye.
31:26Coming, I'm coming.
31:28Oh, thank God.
31:29All right, driver, thank you.
31:34Thanks very much.
31:36Oh, warmth, safety.
31:39Where have you sprung from?
31:40Oh, someplace they call Gateshead.
31:42Talk about the bleating concrete jungle.
31:44Never.
31:45Uh, just a minute, Barry.
31:49Who is it?
31:50It's Barry.
31:51Who?
31:51Barry, one of the lads.
31:53What's he doing here?
31:55I don't know yet, do I?
32:06I hope you're down my mind, mate.
32:07Anybody froze to death out there?
32:09No, you're all right there.
32:11I'll get you some hot drink or something.
32:13Oh, you're in bed.
32:15I hope I haven't come in a bad moment.
32:17No, no.
32:20Ah, no wonder I couldn't get through.
32:23You left the bloody phone off the hook.
32:45Well, I'm sorry I'm not your genial host than it, lad.
32:55I mean, any other time I'd have been happy to drag you around the flesh pot to the northeast, you know.
33:01Oh, it's just this thing with me kid, you know, it's green and heavy, you know, I'm sure it does, I don't know.
33:09I mean, I know what you think.
33:10I know what everybody thinks about that man.
33:15I'm a bit irresponsible, bit of a he-dub, a bit of a lunatic.
33:22Yeah, all right, Muxy, all right.
33:25You're not always ruined with all your hoes in the water you're selling you now.
33:29Yeah, fair enough.
33:30Sorry, lad.
33:31Well, I'm still his fella, isn't I?
33:33Still me kid.
33:39Put yourself in my place.
33:42Wayne, man.
33:43Put yourself in my place, man, with this business with the kid, man.
33:45You're married, aren't you, eh?
33:50I mean, if your bird pissed off and left you, how would that feel, eh, if she went back to Germany?
33:53Who's been talking to you, then?
33:56Nobody, man, I'm talking hypothetically.
33:59Not really.
34:00Well, I mean, can you imagine if she had a spell, eh?
34:03She dragged it back to Dusseldorf.
34:05You'd never see it again.
34:06Imagine how that would feel.
34:10Never a can, as it happens.
34:15You see, when I got back last weekend, I saw a very real change, you know.
34:20She was very warm and very positive.
34:23It was most encouraging.
34:26That's why I went off with the fellas in the first place, you see, to give her her own space, as they say, you know.
34:32But then, the following night...
34:35No.
34:37No, no, no, I tell a lie.
34:39It was the Monday.
34:40Because on the Sunday, she went over to Dudley Port to see her gran.
34:43I was at this hip, yeah.
34:45They get very brittle bones at that age, you know.
34:47I think it's a lack of calcium in the water.
34:49I have to notice how dry my cuticles get it, so...
34:51So, when you saw Hazel next...
34:54What?
34:56Oh, oh, well...
34:57Well, I took her to this restaurant, you see, how lovely place best there is, El Pepe.
35:02Anyway, I was telling her about the problem we've had with this conversion, like, you know,
35:06and had a trouble we've had with getting permission to turn it into time-sharing units
35:11and the conversion and so on, et cetera, et cetera.
35:14Anyway, suddenly, in the middle of this crowded restaurant that's ever so popular,
35:19even on a Monday-like, she jumps up in the middle of her Zabaglione,
35:23knocks her chair over and runs in tears to the lavatory.
35:26Oh, dear.
35:28Well, what do you think, Brenda?
35:30I mean, do you think these sudden mood shifts suggest a chemical imbalance in her metabolism?
35:34Do you...
35:36Do you think she should be seeking medical advice?
35:40Well, I think it's probably a bit simpler than that, Barry.
35:45I mean, maybe she's not all that interested in planning permissions
35:48and time-sharing, et cetera, et cetera.
35:58Do you mean I'm boring now?
36:02I never really thought of that, actually.
36:05Am I boring you?
36:07No, no.
36:10Thank you. Time, gentlemen, please.
36:16Great.
36:18Come to a decision.
36:21Oh, yeah, what was it? Indian or Chinese?
36:24I'm talking about the kids, stupid.
36:27You get to the school and follow her, right?
36:30Nobody meets him.
36:32He's got to get the bus, right?
36:35So our need is a motor, right?
36:38You've got one of them.
36:40So that's it, the job's squared.
36:42Oh, then.
36:43What have we got to do about it?
36:46We're going to snatch the kid.
36:49I'm going to have a computer.
37:05Dad?
37:07You're doing that.
37:08What?
37:09Well, you didn't think I'd miss the opportunity to see you play, do you?
37:11Yeah, listen, you're in 40 soft on that tackle. Never flinch the 50-50 barry. You've got a good end, right?
37:19I'll see you up at the game, mate. I'll be waiting for you.
37:21Aye, Sir Sandra.
37:22What? Where?
37:25I went there by the corner five.
37:41I've moved the car. I've sat by the railings.
37:44Oh, well, that's just as well, because there's been a little bit of a hiccup.
37:47Oh, yeah? What now?
37:48Sandro's here.
37:50What, a boyfriend?
37:51Aye, aye. Obviously, he had to take the kid. Yeah, I'm up to the match.
37:54Oh, nothing. Now, well, look, we can't snatch the pair of them, all right?
37:57No, well, I tell you, he didn't panic. I'll get up and engage him in conversation,
38:01because I want to give him the one-so-what anyway.
38:03Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do, eh?
38:05Well, look, the kid knows I'm here, right? Because I've just been having a bit crack with him.
38:09So, when the whistle comes, get away, explain who he are, tell me what a mate of mine,
38:13and get him in the car, right?
38:14Yeah, well, hold on, hold on. I don't know what he looks like, do I?
38:16Well, he's playing number seven by the Reds.
38:18Number seven.
38:23Hold it, hold it! Hold the ball!
38:25Make a cast for the vast throne, sir! Oh, my God.
38:34Move it, now! Start the game!
38:37In England, always long ball, running, running, running!
38:41Puh, puh!
38:42Hold on, hold on!
38:43That's some talent out there, you know, son!
38:45Of course!
38:46But, you look, these boys, they're eight, nine, ten years old, okay?
38:49Right, yeah.
38:50Well, all they do is they play on a grown-up field!
38:53So, what are they?
38:54Well, it's too big!
38:56All they learn about is space!
38:58Running, running, running!
39:00In Italy, they play on the streets, they play on the beach,
39:03they learn to pass, they learn to control,
39:06they learn to hold the ball!
39:10Ah, well, I suppose you've got a point, eh?
39:12However, in Angleterra, they learn stamina, doesn't it?
39:16Which is bloody hardy when you're playing the longest football season in the world,
39:19killer!
39:20Too long, too many games!
39:21Good, good, good!
39:22Good, good, good!
39:23Good, good, good!
39:24Good, good!
39:25Good, good!
39:26Good, good!
39:27Good, good!
39:28See, the wheel at number seven just slipped into the 18-yard boxing and...
39:32Oh, shit!
39:33That's it, my boy!
39:35I teach him!
39:36Excuse me!
39:37You're the one!
39:38Good!
39:39Good!
39:40Good!
39:41Good!
39:42Good!
39:43Good!
39:44Good!
39:45Good!
39:46Good!
39:47Good!
39:48Good!
39:49Good!
39:50Good!
39:51Good!
39:52Good!
39:53Good!
39:54Good!
39:55Good!
39:56You?
39:57Yeah!
39:58Yeah!
39:59Number seven!
40:00You played the right stormy you did.
40:01Thanks.
40:02Your dad was well proud of you.
40:03He does, yeah?
40:04Yeah, course he is, course he is.
40:05He told me to come and fetch you.
40:06Come on.
40:08So what, you come here every week, watch every game, like this?
40:11Oh, are you?
40:12Yeah.
40:13Today you're not play so good.
40:14Hey, last week, the boy, he get the hat trick.
40:16Get away.
40:17Shit the bugger, eh?
40:18All right.
40:19All right.
40:21Right, well, sit down.
40:27Right, here we are.
40:29Yeah, well, come on up in. Your dad's up the road, all right?
40:34We'll go and pick him up.
40:40Right, burn rubber.
40:49So, er, who are you?
40:54I'm Terry Hackerton.
40:56That's not the kid.
40:58He's not me dad.
41:00Oh, bloody hell.
41:01I thought it was funny cos me dad's on the oil rigs.
41:04Is he? Well, you had no business getting in this man's car, did you?
41:07Let that be a lesson to you.
41:08Have I take lifts off strange men?
41:10Yeah, even if the car is a BMW.
41:13What are you looking for, then?
41:15What?
41:16Nobody, nobody.
41:18Me and him are, er, me and him are school board inspectors.
41:21We go around schools testing kids like you
41:23on their reflexes about things like this.
41:25And you've just failed.
41:26Failed.
41:27Miserably.
41:28Mm.
41:29However, however, we'll forget it this time.
41:31On condition, you say nothing to your friends, right?
41:35And we say nothing to the headmaster.
41:37Great, thanks lotsa.
41:38Right.
41:39OK, now what's the road?
41:42You great pillicas.
41:44Me?
41:45Me?
41:46You're the one that snatched the wrong kid.
41:47You're the one that told me number seven.
41:49Oh, aye, aye, man.
41:50But you pinched the wrong number seven, didn't you?
41:52What happened to you that game?
41:53How was I supposed to know, eh?
41:54I've never set eyes on you bloody kid.
41:55Well, look, look.
41:56My future reference.
41:57My future reference.
41:58You must be bloody joking.
41:59Rod, your father, you sure he was here?
42:02Of course I am, Sandra.
42:03See him talking to you, man.
42:05You do things on the spur of the moment, Oz, without ever thinking them through.
42:09I mean, where were you going to take the lad, eh?
42:12Well, I wasn't going to hang on to him, man.
42:13I only wanted 24 hours with him to find out how he felt about this trip abroad, man.
42:18Mm.
42:19Find out how he felt about this Sandra or Gadgie.
42:21And she wouldn't let us anywhere near the burn, so I had to do what I did, didn't I?
42:24Well, she'll be even less disposed to let you see him now.
42:26Ah, so you met the Italian in question, did you?
42:29Yeah?
42:30Ah, yes.
42:31We exchanged one or two words, yes.
42:32What sort of person did he seem, then, Oz?
42:34Well, he seemed perfectly appable and pleasant and polite, but, I mean, you can a gun on that,
42:39can you?
42:40I mean, he's a weirdo.
42:41He's trained to be.
42:42Oh, come off it, Oz.
42:43What?
42:44You said in the car that he was a nice enough sort of bloke.
42:45Ah, but they're my first impressions, weren't they?
42:48He's got to be a bit macy if he wants to lob up with me, Marjorie.
42:51Shall I do another pot?
42:52Aye.
42:53I'll give you a hand.
42:54No, I'll do it first.
42:55So, when did they leave, then?
42:59Eh?
43:00Er, next week.
43:02If you ask me, I mean, just in my opinion, like, I think living in Italy might benefit
43:09the lad.
43:10I mean, he'd have to climb it.
43:12When he comes back and be bilingual, what a wonderful advantage.
43:16I've only spent one night in this area, and I tell you, it was a pretty terrifying
43:20experience.
43:21You can't touch your pierce on your own name, man.
43:23Well seen, Wolverhampton, you know.
43:25It's not exactly Beverly Hills, is it?
43:27Eh?
43:30Here we are.
43:31Oh, you didn't need to do that.
43:32I would have seen to it.
43:33Oh, that's all right.
43:34Glad to get out and smoke.
43:35Oh, you've not left your wife, have you?
43:37Run off with a sailor.
43:39If I do, you'd be the first to know.
43:41Honestly, it's been I can't break hotel here this week.
43:44I'm thinking of leaving me job at the hospital and taking up marriage guidance.
43:47We'll be off in a couple of days and you can get some peace come out.
43:51Yep.
43:52Brenda.
43:53The cat's not held yet, Pat.
43:54No.
43:55Could you come and have a word with the lads, please?
43:56Let me get out.
43:57What about us?
44:02Brenda, we're all agreed we think us has got a case here.
44:05I mean, we think that he should see his young lad before he's whisked off to a foreign country.
44:09Oh, I quite agree, Dennis.
44:10Er, the main problem is the situation with Marjorie is delicate to say the least.
44:14I mean, she has to understand that us seeing his son won't be a threat to her.
44:18I mean, that's only right and proper.
44:19Uh-huh.
44:20So, er, we thought the best way to convince her would be, erm...
44:25If you had a word with her.
44:30Who wants to taste?
44:32You're the expert, Pat.
44:34I let it breathe?
44:35No, it'll be daft, man.
44:36We just want to hurl it down our necks.
44:38Well, cheers, Pat.
44:47I'll tell you something.
44:49Sandro's the only dad Rod's ever had.
44:52He's wonderful with him.
44:54He teaches him things, he talks to him, he explains things.
44:58Actually, in spite of all the circumstances, I admit he quite liked him.
45:03Oh, my God.
45:04That's what Sandro said.
45:06I'm telling you, Brenda, I couldn't stand it if him and Oscar Pally...
45:16Oh, hello, Brent. Hello, Wayne. You all on your own?
45:19Yeah. Lads have gone down the pub, said I'd babysit.
45:23That's nice of you. I didn't fancy it.
45:26And, er, I wanted to speak to Christa, you know? Sort of privately-like.
45:32Yeah.
45:36I'm sure that's too much, Wayne. It's cheap rate, after all.
45:40Yeah, but there was quite a lot of heavy dialogue tonight.
45:44Oh, dear.
45:46Look, there's some Cointreau on that sideboard over there. Why don't you pour both money?
45:51Yeah.
45:54So, has she come to a decision yet?
45:57Yep. She's gonna have the baby.
46:00Oh, that's a relief. I am glad.
46:03But she ain't gonna have me back.
46:08So, the good news is I'm gonna have a kid by the woman I love.
46:13And the bad news is I'll probably never get to see her.
46:17It's ironic, isn't it? You and us have similar problems.
46:21How do you get on with Marjorie?
46:24Well, she's agreed to let him see the boy.
46:27Took two bottles of Chianti, though.
46:29You're a marvel, you are, Brenda.
46:31Here. You don't fancy popping over the Dusseldorf, do you?
46:34Doing the business on Christa, eh?
46:36All right.
46:37This is where your granddad used to work.
46:51Yeah?
46:52Well, not here, exactly up the river.
46:53Wild ain't set where.
46:54Never knew me granddad.
46:55No, no.
46:56He was a riveter.
46:57Poor man.
46:58Proud man.
46:59But the job killed him in the end.
47:00That's why you never got to meet him.
47:01Remember this?
47:02Thanks.
47:03Thanks.
47:04I'm going to have to do this.
47:05You know, you're a granddad, this is where your granddad used to work.
47:08Yeah?
47:09Well, not here, exactly up the river.
47:10Wild ain't set where.
47:11Never knew me granddad.
47:12No, no.
47:13He was a riveter.
47:16Poor man.
47:17Proud man.
47:20But the job killed him in the end.
47:23That's why you never got to meet him.
47:25Remember this?
47:26Thanks.
47:27Thanks.
47:28Thanks.
47:29Aye, it's funny, he built ships that went all over the world, and yet he never left
47:40Tyneside.
47:41I think that's how come I'm a bit of a wanderer, you know, I've got a bit of a gypo in it.
47:47Cos I said to myself, when I was about your age, I said that's never gonna happen to me.
47:52I mean, not that I'm a fear of hard grafting out, you know, it's just, wait, you know, there's
48:00a great big world out there.
48:02Aye, I don't know that.
48:06Well, that's how come I'm pleased about you getting to hit me, you know, know that I know
48:12how you feel about it.
48:15Cos, I mean, it's got to do you good, hasn't it?
48:19When you come back, you'll be able to poliomo taliano, as I say.
48:26Give you a bit of an idea of what the world's about.
48:30And it has to improve your bowel control, doesn't it, yeah?
48:34The teacher says I'm very fortunate.
48:36Aye, well, the teacher's right, at once.
48:40Don't miss me friends, sir.
48:43Aye, now, you'll make new ones, man.
48:46Anyway, you'll be back, won't you?
48:49I mean, hope we'd leave this for long, eh?
48:53No, I don't want to wait for six months on a postcard, I'll reach.
48:56OK.
48:57Great.
48:58Right?
48:59Right, well, have a great time.
49:05Buddy, yeah, listen.
49:06I might be one of the world now, but never forget your roots son.
49:08Right?
49:09You'll always be a Jodie, no matter where you go.
49:10Cos this is the place that shaped you, made your own life.
49:12You're in love.
49:13I'm so sorry.
49:14You're in love.
49:15You're in love.
49:16You're in love.
49:17You're in love.
49:18You're in love.
49:19I'm so sorry.
49:20You're in love.
49:21You're in love.
49:22I'm sorry.
49:23Well, yeah, listen
49:26Maybe one of the world know but never forget your roots son, right?
49:30You'll always be a Jodie no matter where you go because this is a place what shaped you made you what you are all right
49:41Oh
49:53Yes, it started a while ago, just strangers thrown together
50:03Helpless heroes caught in a dream, boy, we made such a crazy team
50:10Out of luck and out on a limb we saw each other three
50:16Laughed it off, but man, we shared a few
50:21Back with the boys again
50:25Back with the boys again
50:32Once for all, and all for anyone, long as they play the game
50:44Sharing chances, taking all the blame
50:51Back with the boys again
50:53Oh, we're back
50:57Back with the boys again
51:00Yeah, we're back
51:03Back with the boys again
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