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  • 2 weeks ago
First broadcast 16th May 1986.

Barry finally announces his long-awaited wedding to Hazel is definitely going ahead and Oz secretly embarks on a romance of his own.

Timothy Spall - Barry Taylor
Gary Holton - Wayne Norris
Christopher Fairbank - Albert Moxey
Pat Roach - Bomber Busbridge
Jimmy Nail - Oz Osborne
Kevin Whately - Neville Hope
Tim Healy - Dennis Patterson
Bill Paterson - Ally Fraser
James Booth - Kenny Ames
Lesley Saint-John - Vicki
Julia Tobin - Brenda Hope
Madelaine Newton - Christine Chadwick
Melanie Hill - Hazel Redfern
Ricardo Montez - Fuentes
Ken Wynne - Bobby Blande
Joseph Long - Carlos
Francisco Morales - Spanish Policeman
Daniel Guet - Captain
Catherine Whately - Debbie Hope

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Sadly, Gary Houlton died shortly before we finished production of Our Fetus In Pet,
00:06so the cast and crew would like to dedicate this last episode to the memory of Gary and Wayne.
00:12No one said it was gonna be easy
00:31Nobody said it had to be fair
00:37All of the chances taken together
00:43And all the changes we had to share
00:49Well, you think we've made it all worthwhile
00:57Then you realize no one cares
01:02But we're gonna get it right this time
01:09Cause we've passed the point of no return
01:15And we're never gonna go down alone again
01:22And we're never gonna go down alone again
01:29I'd like to place a call to England, please
01:42What are you doing?
01:44I thought I'd found my mother
01:46Yeah, but he won't
01:47Well, she'd be ever so thrilled, don't I?
01:49Look, if you tell your mother the old Ruddy family
01:51You'll know in five minutes and they'll be terribly upset
01:53No, no, no
01:54Erm, er, don't bother now
01:57Mucho gracias
01:58Maybe we should just ask my folks and your mother down
02:01No
02:02If anybody would be down to us, we'd be terribly offended
02:04Oh, you're right
02:06Just us, then
02:07I suppose I felt it's gonna be such a special day, you know, with the yacht and everything
02:12I'd have liked them to have shared it with us
02:14Oh, they're gonna see the photos, aren't they?
02:16Oh, yes
02:17They'll take lots of photos, kids
02:19Oh, I can't wait to see Valerie Nelson's face
02:23No
02:24She was so unbearable about her wedding, you know
02:26Just because she had the reception at the Adlai Park Hotel
02:29Oh
02:30I'll be able to say, that's me, that's Barry
02:32And behind us is the coast of Africa
02:34He's gonna save you dad a few shilling, ain't he?
02:37Don't have to fork out for the reception
02:39Mind you, we're gonna miss out on all the presents, aren't we?
02:42Oh, no, no, that's a very, very mercenary attitude, then
02:45No, you're not wrong, Barry
02:47Oh, no
02:48What?
02:49Oh, no
02:50Oh, no
02:51Oh, no, God, I've just thought of a real problem
02:53What?
02:54Well, which one of the lads who has to be best man?
02:57Sooner, you finish work here?
03:00Next week, why?
03:02My wife will be very happy
03:05What's your wife got to do with it?
03:07Before you come here, I close the bar early
03:1111.30, maybe midnight
03:14Now, I go home two, three o'clock
03:18She think I have another woman?
03:20Oh, well, not to worry, nearly finished
03:22Good
03:23Well, well, what you doing, man? I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about on the site
03:30Put that back
03:31We'll have three funded doors and three San Miguel
03:35Yeah
03:36Well, I'll have them all topped up
03:38It's really right
03:40Hey?
03:41Yeah
03:42What are these? You been down with dry cleaners or what?
03:46They should be lottery tickets, man
03:47I've been buying those since the first day we got here
03:49Have you?
03:50Big prizes, you know?
03:52In 13 years, I win nothing
03:55What would you do if you did win, Carlos?
03:57I buy my own bar and I close every night at 11
04:02Oh, what would you do, Carlos?
04:04Oh, I'd see you, I'll read
04:06Oh, new passport
04:08Well, I had a small touch, but I thought if I hit the jackpot you could have a new face
04:12Hey
04:13I lived with this face for a long time, you know
04:16I'm not denigrating your looks, I know
04:18I just thought, you know, bloke like a fugitive from justice
04:21Do with a new face, that's all
04:23Oh, I see, yeah
04:26Well, maybe a new nose
04:28Aye
04:29Well, Sting had his done, didn't he?
04:30I must say, it's a definite improvement
04:32Yeah, well, I'd get those ears fixed at the same time if I were you
04:35Oh, some of my ears
04:37Then I think I'd, er, I think I'd buy my mother a little bungalow, you know
04:42So she wouldn't have the traips up and doing the stairs and that
04:45And then, I think I'd have a Toby doing to the board builders
04:48to get me sell a little yacht
04:50Oh, yeah
04:51I'd have to race Kenny Ames up and doing the gym and back, couldn't I?
04:53Yeah
04:54Aye
04:55What do you reckon?
04:56You know about Kenny Ames, offering Barry his yacht and inviting us scruffs aboard
05:00Well, well, he just likes it, doesn't he?
05:03Why?
05:04Ah, because he's lonely
05:06All these villains here get like that
05:09He'd probably give 20 grand to walk down the East End and buy the newspaper
05:12Aye
05:14Think that's gonna happen to you when we piss off?
05:16I don't know
05:18I mean, I miss you lot
05:20Well, that's only natural though, wouldn't it?
05:22And I've been on my own before, you know
05:24Been on my own since I was about three
05:26Anyway, I got this idea, I met this bloke the other day down the port
05:29Oh, well, you want to be very careful about blokes you meet down by the port?
05:32No, he's alright, Bob, he was a Canadian
05:34Anyway, he was telling us, you know, he's been working his way round the med
05:37Cooing on yachts and that
05:38Eh?
05:39Ah, fancy that
05:40You know, deckhand or steward for some great tycoon
05:42Aye
05:43Oh, that'd be great
05:44I'd get your snack done first
05:45Senor Osborne
05:46For you
05:47For me?
05:48Who else giving you a bell at this time of night?
05:50Buggering barn, eh?
05:51Probably the lottery people, Oz
05:53Oh, aye
05:54Some water, no, no
05:55Hello
05:57Hello
05:58Oh, hi
06:00Hello, er, oh, Dick
06:01Oh, are you not alone?
06:03No, no, we're sorry, sorry
06:05Sorry
06:06I thought you might be there
06:07Ah, well, it's a fair bit, then, what's up?
06:09Well, I just wanted to talk
06:11You know, I feel a bit down being on my own all evening
06:14I just wish I knew where I was
06:16I wish I could see you
06:18Er, way
06:20I may be a bit dicey, that thing
06:22Well, he's going out tomorrow night
06:24I mean, maybe we could go somewhere
06:25Ah, well, we might have to work lately, you know, to make up for
06:28We're gonna have some time off my body's wedding
06:30He's back, I'll have to go
06:32Sure
06:33Who were you talking to?
06:47Oh, I was just, er, phoning Lemire's, let's see if you were still there
06:51I never went now
06:53Yeah, that's what they said
06:55Where have you been, then?
06:58Business
06:59Well, your mate, the third instead of leaving us here all night
07:03I mean, I could have stayed up at the villa with the others
07:05The others?
07:07Who do you want to waste your time with a bunch of no-hopers like that for?
07:09Do you think a bricklayer's gonna take you to the Marbella club?
07:12I meant, like, the couple's
07:14I mean, that Dennis, he
07:15Him, especially
07:16I don't want you talking to him
07:18I don't even want you mentioning his name
07:20But he's your man, Ali
07:21Not anymore
07:22Let me tell you that when the moment is right
07:24Patterson has got his coming to him
07:26And don't you go shouting your mouth off about that to his girlfriend Christine
07:28Or whatever her name is
07:29Well, I wouldn't
07:31Oh, wouldn't you?
07:32So it wasn't you that mentioned that I might be staying down here permanently?
07:35No
07:36Well, I might have mentioned something casual
07:39Don't!
07:42Well, are you?
07:46It's my concern
07:47Oh, is that right?
07:49Well, don't you think it's my concern as well?
07:52I mean, if you're deciding to live down here for good
07:54Don't you think I've got the right to voice an opinion?
07:56Vicki, but the only place I've ever heard you voicing an opinion is in a boutique between this frock and the other one
08:01But you can't expect me to stay down here
08:03Never had to go home and see me family as your friends
08:05Oh, sorry, sorry
08:06I realise I'm being very selfish
08:07I realise all this can't be good enough for you
08:09God almighty, how you must ache for the scenic splendour of that council estate in South Shields
08:15How you must miss queuing in the supermarket for the baked beans and the bounty bars
08:18And all the other exotic friday nights down the club with the other scrubbers
08:21You're a bastard, Ali
08:22And I'd rather go back there than take this
08:24Oh, no, you don't leave me
08:26When you leave me, it's because I kicked your arse out of here
08:28Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:51Hi, guys
08:52Can I just interrupt proceedings for a moment, please?
08:55We've got a lot to do now, buddy
08:57Look, you might take a minute
08:58It's just something I'd just like to get settled, please
09:05You see
09:07I, uh...
09:08I didn't sleep very much last night
09:11No, I agonised
09:13It's not up again, is it?
09:15Because I've already rang Mercedes in your presence coming on Tuesday
09:18No, no, no, no
09:20It is to do with a wedding, mind
09:23They thought it might be
09:26Oh...
09:27You see, fellas
09:28You see, fellas
09:29I've got to choose a best man from one of you, like
09:32And the thing is, I'm very, very concerned about not upsetting the other unlucky five
09:40You see, I've grown very close to all of you collectively
09:45And each of you individually
09:47I thought of you first, Oz
09:51Me?
09:52Think about it
09:53A few wet Sunday nights in Port Stanley
09:55That can forge a bond, can't it?
09:57All right
09:58Yeah
09:59Hold on, hold on
10:00Let's get one thing straight
10:01When he says we've forged a bond
10:02It never went any farther than a couple of paints a game of darts, you know
10:05Nevertheless, Oz, you are still a contender
10:08Bomber
10:10And Dennis
10:12Difficult to separate in my mind
10:14Both men of similar virtues
10:17Anchors
10:19Men of substance
10:21Yes
10:23Best man material if I've ever seen it
10:25Much the same can be said of Neville
10:28You know, in all the time that we've known each other
10:31I cannot recall one crossword ever exchanged between the two of us
10:36Bollocks
10:37And your ready wit is something I've always admired about you
10:39Is ready what?
10:41Moxie
10:43It has to be said
10:44That as of from this morning
10:46Ladbrokes had you down as 33 to 1 outsider
10:49Given a longer hold than that
10:52But then, I thought to myself
10:54No
10:56In Germany
10:57Moxie and me
10:58We were the outsiders
11:00We weren't in the Geordie Mafia
11:03And it took a little while before we won the respect and affection of the other lads
11:07I get it
11:08It's a bit like Miss World, isn't it, eh?
11:10Eliminate all the runners-up before you give me the sash
11:13Wayne, yes
11:16You and me
11:18Poles apart in so many ways
11:22But
11:23Nobody else has offered me more advice than you
11:26Not always taken, nay
11:27Not always wanted
11:28Over time tonight, Dennis?
11:30Aye, how are we, Barry?
11:31Man, the suspense is killing me
11:32Very well, very well
11:34I'll come to the point then
11:36Hey!
11:37I couldn't decide
11:38I thought the fairest thing to do
11:42Is to draw straws
11:44The short one wins
11:48Oh, what is it this time?
11:50It's a union meeting, is it?
11:53I've been sorting through those invoices
11:55You're gonna have to settle with a local trade, you know, before this job's finished
11:57Well, it will be finished
11:58Well, it will be finished, will it?
12:00What's that supposed to mean?
12:01Well, in the light of our current relationship, Dennis
12:03It wouldn't surprise me at all if you told them all not to bother
12:06You do have me over the proverbial barrel, don't you?
12:08Look, the lads came out here to do a job
12:11City waiting between you and me, that's got nothing to do with it
12:14Sorry to interrupt
12:16Yeah?
12:17I just wanted to ask something
12:18What's that, love?
12:19Vicky
12:20She was meant to be coming to take Brenda and I to this ceramics factory to buy a wedding present
12:24She hasn't turned up and I can't seem to get through to her
12:27She's probably left the phone off the hook
12:28She wasn't feeling too well this morning, Christine
12:30No, I wouldn't bank on seeing Vicky today, love
12:33Really?
12:35Oh
12:36Well, perhaps Brenda and I'll just pop into town then
12:39I'll see you later
12:42I don't see you making any bloody deadlines with this wedding hanging over your heads
12:45Look, if we take time off on Wednesday, we'll make it up on Saturday
12:49Might surprise you out to learn, you know, my lads take great pride in their work
12:53Your job will be done on time and under budget, I guarantee it
13:02Hey, you've got to admit this wedding's a godsend, Allie
13:05No, but there's still a few too many imponderables
13:08The timing has got to be exactly right
13:10And I hate making crucial arrangements that involve seven hod carrying lunatics
13:15Don't worry son, they'll be blissfully ignorant
13:18Okay, I'm still concerned about the timing
13:20Now just exactly how far offshore will this boat be?
13:24My man will be down tomorrow, dot all the i's, cross all the t's
13:27This time next week all your fiscal problems will be over
13:32Well, to the happy couple
13:34Yeah
13:46Don't start crying again, Hazel, I can't bear it
13:49I can't help it, Barry, I'm devastated
13:52I know, I know, I know
13:54You must face reality, Keith
13:56And in your heart and heart, you know that I'm right
13:59I'm so sad and mad
14:01First thing in the morning, you must read Mr. Ames
14:05Tell him how much we appreciate his offer
14:08To explain to him that it cannot be
14:10So, how did Hazel take this one, Barry?
14:23Oh, not very well
14:26Strat in a word
14:28She was so excited
14:30We both were, oh
14:32But in the end, she agreed with me
14:35I think we'd better phone her.
14:37Oh, I think she'd appreciate that, thank you very much.
14:40Sure, it's off.
14:42It's just as well we never bought a present, isn't it, eh?
14:49I just realised we were being very, very selfish.
14:52You see, weddings aren't for the bride and groom,
14:55for the relatives and friends and, you know, old aunties and grannies
14:59and people who sort of rely on that kind of day.
15:02I couldn't be deprived of it.
15:04I mean, take my auntie Lillian, for instance.
15:06I mean, probably the last time she ever gets out of the house.
15:09So instead of the Mediterranean, just settle for Wolverhampton.
15:12Well, it'll be the Adley Park Hotel, mate.
15:15It's in its own grounds, a lovely place of a lake and swans.
15:18It's not bloody cheap either, I can tell you.
15:20When's this gonna be, then?
15:21That depends on the Adley Park, doesn't it?
15:23I mean, it's a very popular place in great demand.
15:27Oh, it'll be the first Saturday that the Jacobean sweets available.
15:31But we're still all invading, are we?
15:33What?
15:34Of course.
15:35Why are you all my best friends in all the world?
15:37Oh, yeah.
15:38We've still got to sort out that best man business, you know, haven't we?
15:41Well, that's true.
15:42No matter what the venue.
15:43Oh, no, no.
15:44It's a matter of my worries to take place at home.
15:46I'll have to ask my cousin Martin otherwise to be terribly offended.
15:56More coffee, Mr. Blunt?
15:57Oh, yes please.
15:58Shall we run over the timetable just one last time?
16:00Shall we what?
16:01He says, shall we run over the timetable just one last time?
16:04Oh, for God's sake.
16:05I fly to Zurich Wednesday.
16:07I pick up my cash the following day.
16:09Then you fly to Rome.
16:10Then I fly to Rome from where I fly to Tangier where I arrive at ten minutes to eight.
16:14Then I shall meet you there.
16:16If you want a dinner or a glimpse of the night spots, I shall be happy to oblige.
16:20No, I won't be in any mood for belly dancers.
16:22Please yourself.
16:23Saturday is free.
16:25I'd like to allow one clear day for unexpected contingencies.
16:30Then if the wedding is at 15 hours, we should cast off about 10, not too early for you,
16:36and rendezvous with the Sans Souci about 15, 15.
16:41Do you have a laboratory?
16:44What, on the boat?
16:45No, here.
16:46I need to pee.
16:47Yes, sir.
16:48Just, uh, fast on the left arm, isn't it?
16:57Is he okay?
16:58Yeah!
16:59He's as good as gold.
17:00I told you.
17:01Do you know he worked in a merchant bank for 35 years, and his only ambition was to retire somewhere.
17:06Yeah, with his own boat and a massive income.
17:09So he kept his nose clean, took all the abuse,
17:12acquainted himself with his company's financial transactions and had a plug-in at the computer.
17:16Three years ago, he booked a one-way ticket to Tangiers, having first transferred a million and a half quid to his account there.
17:23Hey, Vicky, get that, will you?
17:27Well, I grant you he's no flash, but he's not exactly nautical.
17:29Ha-ha!
17:30You get him on a boat, mate, he's Long John Silver.
17:32Sorry, it's, uh, Hazel.
17:34She wants to speak to Kenny.
17:35Who the heck's Hazel?
17:36Barry's fiancée.
17:37Oh, for God's sake, Vicky, we're in a conference here.
17:41Well, it's about the wedding.
17:43No, I'll just take it on that one, Kenny.
17:51Hello, Hazel.
17:54How are you, my petit chuchu?
17:57Hm?
17:59Ha-ha!
18:00Having seconds old, sir, yeah?
18:03You mean there's still a chance for moi?
18:06Mm-hmm.
18:09Uh-huh.
18:12Off.
18:15I mean, what do you mean, off?
18:36lol
18:39Okay, I have a slow motion introduction.
18:45You're gonna沒有?
18:48Oh!
18:49Hey, Who's ready?
18:50It's slow Student is if you are ready today.
18:54I decided to make things to think about you.
18:57It's really hot,ús-lony, but you're the music teacher.
18:59Oh, I'm that-
19:00Well, it's always time to get me off with another camera.
19:04The dog and my little athlete have yourself.
19:05BELL RINGS
19:23Barryson.
19:25Very glad you could join me.
19:27Oh, nice.
19:30It's my pleasure.
19:35You like a little of this, or something just a little bit stronger?
19:40Oh, no, that's lovely.
19:42Thank you very much.
19:43Very nice.
19:44Thank you very much.
19:58Yes, son.
19:59Go on about that.
20:01Oh, you know, Barry, I love the port this time of day.
20:06I love that light.
20:08The sound of the wind and the rigging.
20:11The shadow of the masts and the water.
20:14Yes, yes, it's lovely, isn't it?
20:18It's very picturesque.
20:22Just because I had a chance to put on some fresh clothes, I thought.
20:29Oh, Barry, son Barry.
20:31You know, I owe you a lot.
20:34Do you?
20:35Oh, yes.
20:37You sure the person that brought all these blokes together?
20:40If that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be down here working for me now, would they?
20:44Yes, yes, son.
20:46I suppose you're right.
20:48We're the employers, you and me.
20:51The managerial class, so to speak.
20:54And I think that is what separates us from the others.
20:57Not that I want to disparage other lads in any way whatsoever.
21:00No, no, no.
21:01It's just that running around business does cause different burdens, of course.
21:05Exactly.
21:06Do you use these?
21:08Not very much.
21:10I'll, uh, smoke it nicer a few at that moment.
21:14Sure.
21:19Now, Barry, the reason why I persuaded Kenny to lend you his yacht...
21:24I didn't know that was your idea.
21:26Oh, I didn't want to make a fuss about it at the time, but no.
21:29The reason was because I know how much that would have meant to me at your age.
21:34And I see an awful lot of me in you.
21:38But, you know, now I hear that you've changed your mind.
21:40Yes, well, it was a very agonizing decision.
21:44Well, I know why you made that decision, and I respect you for it.
21:47It's the old working-class guilt.
21:50The ties that bond.
21:52You know why.
21:55But Barry, son Barry,
21:57people like you and me,
21:59we've risen above that struggle against the odds,
22:02and we shouldn't be ashamed of it.
22:04I can't let your roots shackle you forever.
22:07You better be looking forward.
22:09And now,
22:10your only allegiance
22:12is to that lovely reason.
22:15And in my opinion,
22:17my very, very humble opinion,
22:19it is your duty
22:22to give her a day that she will remember
22:25and the rest of her men.
22:30Look, Barry,
22:31if the wedding's on again,
22:32fine, everybody's happy for you, right?
22:34But didn't stand there trying to tell her
22:36that Ali Frazer's some sort of prince amongst men,
22:38for Christ's sake.
22:40It's just an honour that he sat down and conversed with the man,
22:42had I.
22:43I mean,
22:44I'd always accepted your opinion of him being some sort of monster.
22:47But your speakers are fine,
22:48and I happen to have found him very charming, very civilised.
22:51Just thrilled you're persuaded, Barry,
22:52because I'm out of the mood.
22:54We decided to have a little party for family and friends
22:57when we get back and work.
22:58Why?
22:59Just seems the best of both worlds, really.
23:01No, I meant,
23:02why would Frazer take all this trouble over you two?
23:05That's charming.
23:06Thanks very much.
23:07No, I didn't mean it like that.
23:08It does seem a bit queer.
23:09I meant,
23:10is he paying for the food and the booze and that?
23:12Of course not.
23:13I wouldn't hear anything.
23:14It's a hard bucket, that is.
23:15Mind you,
23:16you took the boat out far enough.
23:18All the hail would be duty free, wouldn't it?
23:20Don't be a dickhead, man, Moxie.
23:22You're still going to bite it at the office, haven't you?
23:24Oh,
23:25all right, yeah, yeah.
23:26I forgot about that.
23:27Yeah, but I think the odds of you being best man
23:29have lent them even further, Moxie.
23:31Oh, well, it reminds me.
23:32That little problem's still going to be resolved, isn't it?
23:34First thing tomorrow morning,
23:35we'll draw those straws again.
23:36No, I couldn't leave that, thank you.
23:38Me too.
23:39Yeah, I'm not keen neither.
23:40What's up with your lungs?
23:41Fly your cousin Martin doing right, don't you?
23:42Huh?
23:43No matter how hard you try,
23:44it's a wizard of offended somebody, aren't you?
23:45When will you be back?
23:46I'm not certain.
23:47I don't even know where you're going.
23:48Don't need to know, do you?
23:49Well, I'm not going to be here when you get back.
23:50I'm not certain.
23:53I don't even know where you're going.
24:08Don't need to know, do you?
24:10Well, I'm not going to be here when you get back.
24:12to know do you well I'm not gonna be here when you get back oh is that a fact yes it is actually
24:19I'm gonna stay for Barry and Hazel's wedding and then I'm going home oh really oh well then which
24:30of the very very expensive frocks that I bought you are you planning to wear at Barry and Hazel's
24:38wedding is it this nice little multicolored Grecian number mm-hmm or is it the a Cerise article that
24:45cost so many francs in Paris hey really suited that one listen you can slash them all you
24:52bastard every last one take back all the jewelry the lot but I'm still not gonna be here when you
24:57get back well you surprised me Vicky because I've got your passport
25:08so
25:13so
25:17Oh, my God.
25:47I'm going to be away for a few days, Dennis, so I'm leaving you some signed cheques to take care of those unpaid bills that you mentioned.
25:55Oh, you still trust us then, do you?
25:57Well, I'd like to use your nuts for golf balls, Dennis, but yes, I still trust you.
26:00Aye, well, there'll be no crap lying around when you get back. We'll clean up the entire area.
26:04Oh, you're nothing if not thorough. Now, about your lad's recompensation...
26:07That's all right, I'll handle that.
26:09Oh?
26:09That money of yours I'm holding, I'll pay them out of that.
26:13Salary, overtime, bonuses as a grade.
26:17I'll post an eight of my statement accounting for every penny.
26:19And the balance, pal, the balance of my money.
26:22Where would you like it?
26:23Oh, it's that simple, isn't it?
26:24Yeah, I've got it.
26:26You want it.
26:27I await your instructions.
26:31Oh!
26:31By the way, I'll be holding back about three grand.
26:35Oh, that's your wee bonus, is it?
26:36No, no, that's the approximate cost of six air tickets back here, plus bed and board.
26:41Sorry, Dennis, don't follow you there.
26:42Aye, well, you will in a minute.
26:43You see, just supposing I'm leaving the pub one dark night until your boneheads decide to take me round the back, right?
26:51Or supposing somebody puts a brick through me ex-wife's window, or puts a frighteners on me girlfriend, on me kids.
27:01I'm going to need that cash, aren't I?
27:02So, me and the lads, we can come back here, take apart everything we've built for you, and then after that, take your part.
27:14Oh, Dennis.
27:16You know, a bloke like you could have had a job with me for life.
27:25Riggie!
27:30Riggie!
27:32What's been up in here?
27:38Yeah?
27:41I've tried to leave him, I was...
27:42But I can't.
27:45I'm scared.
27:46I've called...
27:47I don't know.
28:04Where is he, eh?
28:17His mailman, Fraser, where is he?
28:20He's not my mate.
28:22I simply said that he's here like you.
28:24Where is he?
28:32Where's Fraser?
28:33He's gone, why?
28:35Why?
28:36Why?
28:37Because I'm going to smash his bastard face right off the floor, that's why.
28:40Right, I don't care who he is or what his reputation is.
28:43What's the matter, Lee?
28:44He might be rich and have muscle and punters like us licking his horse,
28:48but that doesn't allow him to do what he's doing with Vicky.
28:50What do you do with Vicky?
28:51Smashed the bastard flat up, ripped all the clob at the shreds.
28:54You want to see what he wrote on the bathroom?
28:56I thought you were supposed to be picking up tails.
28:58Never mind, bastard tails.
29:00They might have slaves out of the water there in Morocco.
29:02But this is Spain, right?
29:03Just British.
29:04I'm not going to stand about while he treats her like a piece of shite.
29:06I'm telling you.
29:07What was this like?
29:08Vicky?
29:09Yes, Vicky.
29:10Since we're out, did you know about this?
29:11First, I've heard.
29:12Yes, well, I didn't put an advert to local paper, you know.
29:14I mean, I've got some sense of discretion.
29:16First, I've heard.
29:18Look, where is he?
29:19He's gone to the airport.
29:20The airport?
29:21Yeah, get him in the airport.
29:22Look, lad, by the time you get to the airport, he'll be well away, man.
29:24Look, you're not going to stop us.
29:25Look, just calm down, will you?
29:26Stop talking to Ben.
29:27What's going on, then?
29:28Eh, Brenda, can we just have a quiet word, love?
29:30A quiet word, Dennis?
29:31Look, lad, by the time you get to the airport,
29:33he's going to be halfway across the Mediterranean, isn't he?
29:35Is he?
29:36If he's done off, where does that leave us?
29:37Well taken care of.
29:38Look, I've hurt him much more than you ever could.
29:41Oh, you have?
29:42How's that like?
29:43How you done that?
29:44Right, just come and sit down.
29:45I've got something to tell you.
29:46Come here.
29:48Sit down.
29:50Now, listen.
29:53This goes no further than us three.
29:55That's all, right?
29:56No further.
29:57What?
29:58Right?
29:59Yes, yes, right?
30:00Right, what?
30:01Right, when I went back to Newcastle last week, right,
30:03I was supposed to pick up some documents.
30:05That was just a pretext.
30:06Hallward wanted us to bring this bag back here.
30:09Well, I had me doubts about it, so I opened it.
30:11What was in it?
30:13Cash.
30:14I was trying to smuggle Reddy's down here.
30:16Use me as his mule.
30:18That's risky.
30:19It was, man.
30:20I got turned over at the airport.
30:22What happened to cash?
30:24Well, I hid the cash, see, in Newcastle, in a safe place.
30:27Oh, well, before you left.
30:28So, good thinking.
30:30Much was in it, the bag?
30:3225 grand.
30:33What?
30:3425 grand.
30:35So, don't worry about your wages, man.
30:37I've got to only buy the bollocks, man.
30:3825 grand?
30:39Why?
30:40Christ, you pulled a flanker there, dead.
30:42Absolutely amazing.
30:43So, look, no matter what you're feeling like, man,
30:45just forget about it.
30:46Everything's all right.
30:47Okay?
30:48Well, all right, all right.
30:49Cool.
30:50Forgot that.
30:51Let's get back to work, yeah?
30:52All right.
30:5325 grand.
30:54Come on.
30:55I've got a question here.
30:56What's up?
30:57What?
30:58What?
30:59What?
31:00What long's this thing with Vicky being gone on?
31:02Oh, did I do it right?
31:03It hasn't fallen out yet, can't it?
31:04My lord, ladies and gentlemen, fellow of Brickies, we are here at the completion of another
31:19shining example of British workmanship.
31:20I'm sure if our gracious benefactor, Mr. Fraser, was with us, he'd want us to celebrate the manor in a usual way.
31:32Come on.
31:33Come on.
31:34Come on.
31:35Come on.
31:36Come on.
31:37Come on.
31:38Come on.
31:39Come on.
31:40Come on.
31:41Come on.
31:42Come on.
31:43Come on.
31:44Come on.
31:45Come on.
31:46Come on.
31:47Come on.
31:48Come on.
31:49Come on.
31:50Come on.
31:51Come on.
31:52Come on.
31:53Come on.
31:54Come on.
31:55Come on.
31:56Come on.
31:57Come on.
31:58Come on.
31:59Come on.
32:00Come on.
32:01Come on.
32:02Come on.
32:03It's beautiful.
32:04Isn't it?
32:05Oh.
32:10If Barry doesn't show up soon, I ain't pushing off.
32:12Yeah, you're still seeing that lots of works in the cloakrooms at the casino.
32:16I am, Dad.
32:18Must have put a few pisses in her saucer, eh?
32:22I bet you have, yeah.
32:23Oh, look here, though.
32:24Oh, ha.
32:25Hello.
32:26Hello.
32:27What are we like?
32:28I'm going to linger after that pudding.
32:29I think I'll go straight up, Barry.
32:31All right.
32:32All right.
32:33All right.
32:34Oh.
32:35Oh.
32:36Good night, everybody.
32:37Good night, John.
32:38Well done, darling.
32:39Bye.
32:40You're not supposed to do it the night before the wedding.
32:43It's bad luck, isn't it?
32:44It certainly was for me.
32:46I suppose everyone else thought we agreed to rendezvous for a nightcap.
32:49Ah, they've nashed off, er, Den and Neve went up with a norad.
32:52I didn't want to leave the girls on their own or leave.
32:55The wine's down the porty, looking for tasks, yeah, difficult.
32:57Well, you know, I'm asleep, man.
32:59I was scrapped about looking for something or somebody.
33:01Well, it's never gonna happen.
33:03I said to him the other day, you know, I said,
33:04Wayne, get it into your head, mate.
33:06There's nothing amazing that's gonna happen, you know,
33:08that's suddenly gonna transform your life.
33:10Aye.
33:11Bob had resigned himself to that years ago.
33:14My life's about to be transformed.
33:16And for those of you who are polite enough to wait,
33:17I'd like to buy you some champagne.
33:19Oh, thank you very much indeed.
33:20What's your life a bottle of champagne, is he, Carla?
33:24Tonight you drink till dawn.
33:26There's no difference for me.
33:28Oh, you straightened out with the old lady then?
33:31No.
33:33The old lady, she'll leave me.
33:36Oh, dear.
33:37Well, I hope you're not trying to put that one doing to us, are you?
33:41If we marry 11 years,
33:44my heart, it hurts, you know?
33:46Er, Carlos, you're putting a real damper on things over here, mate.
33:50You might have kept it to yourself, at least till after tomorrow.
33:54Sorry.
33:54I think you'd better be glad to yourself, though, didn't you?
33:57Grassy, darling.
33:59Look, I know you think I'm being sentimental.
34:01I suppose I am, really.
34:04All right?
34:04Gin up, mate.
34:06But the fact that all the lads are gonna be at my wedding tomorrow,
34:09that means a lot to me, you know?
34:10It means an awful lot.
34:11You don't want to keep the speech for tomorrow?
34:13No, I've got a speech for tomorrow. It's all written down.
34:15One other thing, I want to let you know that the best man situation has been resolved.
34:18Oh, aye.
34:19Who's the unlucky bloke?
34:21Moxie, if you'd rather be down to Port with Wayne sniffing around Tarso,
34:23then let me stop you.
34:24It's only joking.
34:25I'll never know who you're joking or not.
34:27This is a bloody moment of joy and celebration for me,
34:29and I'd really like to treasure it.
34:30Well, you can't do it, man.
34:31Can't do it.
34:32Well, Kevin, you've written something, Bomber.
34:33Oh, no, sir.
34:34I'm discreeting me.
34:35No, you're not. You're looking at your watch.
34:36Bloody, man! Bloody, for Christ's sake, man!
34:39Look, well, I want to treasure this moment with you, right?
34:42But not our bastard needs to. Just tell her who's the best man, man!
34:45No, no, no, no.
34:46Eh?
34:47So six of you?
34:48What?
34:49Isn't that a real sign that you only have to have one best man,
34:53so I'm going to have all six of you?
34:54Go on to your nightcap.
34:56Aye, why not?
34:58Brandy?
34:59No, no, beer for me these days, Nev.
35:01Hey, it's easy to get used to a life of luxury, innit?
35:08Ha-ha.
35:09Cocktail, bar, swimming, pool.
35:13Oh.
35:14Yeah.
35:16Back to reality next week, though.
35:19Just be another couple of Thatcher's unemployment statistics.
35:22Cheers.
35:23Never mind.
35:24You'll still have a nice tan down the door queue, Nev.
35:27Oh.
35:29What are you going to do?
35:30Are you giving it any thought?
35:34Well, I can't be a brickie again.
35:36I can't face some desolate winter on some north-east building site.
35:41Yeah.
35:42I don't got any choice.
35:44It's what I am.
35:45It's what I do.
35:47I'm not ashamed of it, Lee.
35:49Yeah, of course not.
35:50No, should you be, I didn't mean that, man.
35:53You're just talking about me, Nev.
35:56I need to change me life.
35:58Does Christine figure any of your plans?
36:02I don't know.
36:04Well, I'd like it to be, you know.
36:07But until something materialises, I haven't got much to offer, have I?
36:11Ali's money?
36:13What about it?
36:14Well, it's just sitting there, isn't it?
36:19Mm-hm.
36:20Where you hid it, Lee?
36:22Yeah.
36:24Well, if I was your one, I'd be tempted to keep it and...
36:27What?
36:29Oh, I don't know.
36:31Buy a newsagent?
36:33Oh, lad, you don't set your sights very high, do you?
36:35I thought you were going to say take it and bugger off to Brazil, man.
36:38And I'd buy your bloody newsagents.
36:41Ah, well, there's not enough of it for Brazil, is there?
36:55Rip everything up, like the whole lad.
36:57Well, aye, just about.
36:59Vicky, how you thought about the consequences of pissing off from Fraser?
37:02Eh?
37:03I mean, thought about them properly.
37:05What do you mean, Lake?
37:07Well, I mean, it wouldn't just be clues you'd be giving up for your left hand, would it?
37:10Eh?
37:11I mean, you've had the lot with Fraser.
37:12Villas in the sunshine.
37:14First-class travel everywhere.
37:15Jacuzzis in your cosy.
37:17Room service, quick as you like.
37:19Ah, and more self-esteem, but...
37:21No, but you've got to be realistic, Petal.
37:23I mean, you know.
37:25You're going back in, it's going to take a major adjustment, isn't it?
37:27I mean, there's nothing there for you, is there?
37:30Well, there's you.
37:33Well, I think it's about time you had your eyes open about me and Al, isn't it?
37:36I mean, I'm not exactly what you could call a prize catch, is I?
37:41I'm just another working-class gadget
37:42what's being dragged up in a very rough area.
37:45I've had no education to speak of.
37:47I mean, nobody can understand.
37:48I'm talking about thought of me, litigated.
37:51Got no money put by.
37:53No prospects. I'm under Nat King call us from next week.
37:55I mean, you know.
37:57What could we possibly have in coming?
38:00Well, everything.
38:02Christ, who's that?
38:05I'm not.
38:06Can't answer it.
38:08Well, put some of it on.
38:10If I got the door that you've got, man.
38:11Is Senor Fraser here?
38:12Sorry, no.
38:13Can we come in, please?
38:14Police.
38:15Er, yes, you'd better come through.
38:16Pasa.
38:17Go.
38:19What is Senor Fraser?
38:20What is Senor Fraser?
38:21I think he's away about a couple of days.
38:22Mm-hmm.
38:23Ah, I see you in the villa.
38:24I see you in the villa.
38:25Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
38:27Uh, yes, you'd better come through.
38:30Poza.
38:32Go.
38:38Where is Senor Fraser?
38:42Out of an articulate, I think he's away about a couple of days.
38:44Mm-hmm.
38:46Ah, I see you in the villa.
38:50You a friend of Senor Fraser, no?
38:52Me?
38:53No, not me, mate.
38:55How you here?
38:56I'm, er... I'm taking the young lady to a wedding.
39:03Creo que sabemos lo que está haciendo aquí, eh?
39:06Yes, yes. Well, we're all men of the world, aren't we?
39:09Evidently, you do not express in your face. I took him back too soon, no?
39:13I've got no idea, Pa. What do you want to see him, Wallach?
39:16Questions.
39:18Oh, I'll bet you the English old Bill's totally give him up, Paul, have they? Eh?
39:21You want to? He's a rich slippery old bastard.
39:22But look, Chief. The results of the lottery on the television, we could see this, right?
39:27Ask him, ask him.
39:32Please.
39:34What? Oh, yes, sir, help yourself.
39:36Every Saturday at this time, they give the winning numbers of the lottery.
39:39Oh, the lottery? Yes, the lottery.
39:41Oh, they're a pocket full of them.
39:42Yes, you have something, eh?
39:44No, no, no, no.
39:46You didn't have this in England, you know?
39:48They've got what you call the premium bondage.
39:50I'll bet.
39:51that's not吉sey It's good for me, right?
39:52It's too good for you, today.
39:56Of course, maybe 17.
40:007351?
40:01That's that, isn't it?
40:037356 or what?
40:04Look, look, see.
40:067359!
40:08Without stream.
40:09That's it, him?!
40:11It has & & & & & & & & & & & &
40:148 million pesetas, for the luck that you have, 8 million pesetas.
40:21How great!
40:27He won the lottery.
40:348 million pesetas.
40:38I think this calls for a drink.
40:40Of course, man. It's always celebrated in Spain.
40:45How much is that in about 40 grand?
40:48Muchos libras esterlinas.
40:53I never thought I'd be drinking with a Polish, but...
40:55Get that Junior, Pepe.
40:598 million pesetas.
41:01I can't believe it.
41:02But I mean, life's just going to change overnight.
41:05Well, not just me.
41:07I mean, you realise what this means, don't you?
41:11Oh, that's what you're trying to say.
41:12Well, you've got your airfare home now, haven't you?
41:16Right, cheers, lads.
41:17Salud, salud, amigos.
41:18Cheers.
41:19How much?
41:208 million.
41:21It's only pesetas, Neville.
41:238 million?
41:24In real money, that's only...
41:2734,482...
41:2982 quid.
41:3134 grand?
41:32Oh, yeah.
41:33Hey, there's a newsagents, Deb.
41:34To hell with newsagents?
41:35Without a moment, I'd be off to Brazil.
41:37What's this Brazil, huh?
41:38Put me down for that, Dennis.
41:39What we building there?
41:41What on earth is someone like Oz going to see with money like that?
41:44Anything he likes.
41:45Well, baby, well.
41:58Not too flashy a present, is it?
42:15Oh,
42:37It's just Chicago a present.
42:40Where will we put it?
42:52I don't know.
42:54You must admit, though, it's a wonderful gesture.
42:57I can say it working in Spine in a villa
42:59surrounded by tiles and Moorish archers,
43:02but it working more than Hampton.
43:07They'll, er, they'll tear apart if you don't like it.
43:10No, no, no, mate, no, it's, it's, you know,
43:14it's just what we, just what we always wanted, like.
43:16Is it?
43:17Oh, that sounds so.
43:18I got up with the last of me readies, you know,
43:20but as soon as I cast my winning ticket,
43:21I can get the other three.
43:23Right, I'm just gonna...
43:25The big one is reading the portfolio.
44:32Take Hazel Toothan Redfern to be your awful widid wife?
44:39That should be lawful.
44:41Oh, sorry.
44:42Your lawful widid wife?
44:46I don't.
44:46So, I now pronounce you a man and a wife.
44:54Yay!
44:56Good evening, man.
44:57Good evening, man.
44:58Good evening.
44:58Are you sure this is beautiful?
45:00Well, apparently.
45:01Oh, okay.
45:06Get a bit of this, Junior.
45:1334,000.
45:15It's just not fair.
45:17Hey, is your board coming up on the right there?
45:19Oh, starboard, as we say in nautical circles.
45:26What's this?
45:27It's your mystery guest, Barry.
45:36What's he doing here?
45:37You don't actually think that I would have missed a happy hour.
46:07occasion like this.
46:09What's going on?
46:11Dennis had a little bit of business to do, and then I promised myself I'm going to get
46:14back here for Barry's wedding.
46:17Oh, much appreciated, Mr. Fry, sir.
46:19Thank you very much for the chocolates, Mr. Fry, sir.
46:21Oh, my pleasure.
46:22Swiss.
46:22Oh, my pleasure.
46:24San Jose, maintain your position.
46:27Maintain your position.
46:28What the hell are you doing?
46:29Yeah.
46:30San Jose, maintain your position.
46:33Vamos, Enrique.
46:34Vamos.
46:34If you've sent me up, Kenny, if you've bought immunity for yourself,
46:55by shopping in me.
46:56Don't you worry, son.
46:57I'm lagging 20% of that.
46:58Excuse me.
46:59Everybody wants to know what's happening.
47:00How fast does this thing go?
47:01I don't know.
47:02I've only pissed around the port before with a couple of birds
47:04in a picnic basket.
47:06It's me for Tangiers.
47:07Yeah, all right.
47:07Tangier.
47:13I'm sorry, face of ours.
47:15Don't panic.
47:15Don't panic.
47:16But we've been used.
47:17That despicable man Fraser's used us.
47:20But don't worry, kid.
47:20Don't worry.
47:21I'm with you.
47:21Don't apologise, Barry.
47:23This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
47:26Tangiers.
47:27What if Valerie Nelson needs about this?
47:30Tangiers?
47:31I'm not taking Debs to Tangiers.
47:34Doesn't look like we've got much choice, Brendan.
47:37What was that you said last night, eh, Mox?
47:39About nothing's going to transform our lives?
47:41Sars-sars-sie, stop your engines.
47:44Repeat, stop your engines.
47:46Well, there must be some work in North Africa.
47:49Oh, there's bound to be.
47:50They built the pyramids, didn't they?
47:52This is the police.
48:12He's gone.
48:14Dennis, Dennis, man.
48:16Well, they sum it.
48:18Who, me?
48:20I've come to fortune, man.
48:21Soon as I put these in,
48:23my life's completely changed overnight.
48:25I'm heading in the opposite bloody direction.
48:27What am I supposed to do, man?
48:29It's just like,
48:30you just look over this.
48:31What's going on, Dennis?
48:32What we're going to do, Dennis?
48:34It's all down to Dennis.
48:35Look, man, I don't know what's happening.
48:37I don't know where we're going
48:38or what's going to happen anywhere.
48:40So what else is new?
48:42Yes, it started a while ago
48:55Just strangers strong together
48:59It was here up on the dream
49:02Boy, we made such a crazy team
49:06One for all, one for anyone
49:09What along this day, baby, game
49:12There were chances of taking all the blame
49:17Back with the boys again
49:21We love girls, girls love money
49:38What can you do when you ain't got any
49:41Let's accuse you, another loser now
49:46This is the custom
49:48I'm a Spatuan
49:50I'm a Spatuan
49:50Evan Amorash immediately
49:52Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
49:54Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
49:56There we were
50:04Here we are
50:06Cheating truth
50:07Cheating truth is still a retending
50:09Hoping this time to hit the big time
50:13Holding out for a different ending
50:17Lady luck
50:18Lady luck, you better get ready
50:20We're going for another spin
50:23The gods are set
50:25We play the hand to win
50:28Back with the boys again
50:32Yeah, we're back
50:35Back with the boys again
50:39Oh, we're back
50:42Back with the boys again
50:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
50:49Back with the boys again
51:02Back with the boys again
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