- 6 months ago
The misadventures of a British Royal Artillery Concert Party unit stationed in based in Deolali in British India and the fictional village of Tin Min in Burma during the last few months of the Second World War.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:09With music and laughter to help you on your way, to raising the rafels with a hey, hey, hey.
00:15With songs and sketches and jokes old and new, with us about you and Phil Blue.
00:21So meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:26B-O-B-O-Y-S, boys, to entertain you.
00:35Chai valai, graham chai.
00:38Jolly hot chai for you.
00:40For you, sir.
00:42Last order for half price chai.
00:44Only one anna for a beautiful hot piala.
00:48Don't bother, fellas, it's disgusting.
00:50How dare you be saying my chai is disgusting?
00:53Do you know, I once heard it said that there's nothing in this world that somebody can't make a bit cheaper and a bit nastier.
00:59Petty Roski, sir, I'm a top-class chai vala, and nobody can make chai cheaper and nastier than me.
01:05Hey, Gloria, there's still no sign of nobbing atlas.
01:08They're not going to be for it when they get back.
01:10The sergeant major will go mad, like he did when he found that little bug down my rifle barrel.
01:15He wasn't mad about the little bug, Lofty.
01:18It was the fact that it had made a nest and had babies.
01:20Oh, heavens, it's hot.
01:26That damn punker waller's dropped off to sleep again.
01:29Punker waller?
01:30Punker waller?
01:31Sir, punker career, jullie.
01:33Kissy kebabka, no, kunu kia, sir.
01:35Yeti, Mary, coffee break.
01:38He's a damn rotten punker waller.
01:40How much do we pay him?
01:41I'm dashed if I know.
01:43Sergeant major?
01:44Ah!
01:47Could I trouble you a minute?
01:50By all means, sir.
01:52How much do we pay the punker waller?
01:54Three rupees a week, sir.
01:56Let's see, that's about four or six, isn't it?
01:58That's correct, sir.
01:59Doesn't seem very much, does it?
02:01All we to give him a rise, say, one more rupee?
02:04What do you think, Sergeant major?
02:05Won't stop him falling asleep, sir.
02:06No, true.
02:07Besides, if we give one a rise, they'll all want it.
02:09We've only got one.
02:11That's beside the point, afterwards.
02:13A thing like that can interfere with the whole structure of Indian society.
02:17Any sign of the two missing chaps?
02:19No, sir.
02:20I expect they's drunk in the village.
02:22And if I may suggest it, sir, I do not consider we should issue no more free passes,
02:26and we should put Tinfuck Village out of bounds.
02:30What do you think, Ashford?
02:31It doesn't seem very fair on the others.
02:33I mean, after all, it does help to break the monotony and keep up morale.
02:37Well, only other answer.
02:38There's nothing much downer to amuse them.
02:39There's no pubs, fish and chip shops, kinemas.
02:42Well, that's bizarre.
02:44Oh, and that temple thing, the Temple of Sport.
02:46Temple of Sport?
02:47Yes, you remember, sir.
02:49It's got all those little carvings all over it.
02:51You've seen it, Sergeant Major.
02:53As it was explained to me, sir, it's not exactly a temple of sport.
02:57Then why does it have all those jolly little figures of men wrestling and playing leapfrog and so forth?
03:06They weren't all men, Ashford.
03:10Half of them was women, sir.
03:12More than half.
03:13Don't be ridiculous.
03:15I mean, you don't have men wrestling with...
03:19You don't mean...
03:21You can't mean...
03:24Surely they don't have a temple for that.
03:27Well, they have a temple for most things.
03:29The absolute boundless.
03:32Here, Gloria.
03:33Nobody and Atlas, they're coming down the path.
03:35Well, don't it all shut up.
03:37Perhaps we can sneak them in.
03:39There's two MPs with them.
03:40We can't sneak them in.
03:44Let us get out of my temple.
03:49Let us get out of my temple.
03:53Permission to fall out and deal with the absentee, sir.
03:55Yes, sir.
03:56Please carry on, Sir Bricker.
03:58Stand to the guard.
03:59Stand to the guard.
04:00Move yourselves.
04:00Come on, let's get double.
04:02You, Galla Macintosh, and you, Galla Clarke, is under arrest!
04:09He is already under arrest!
04:12Where then?
04:13Shut up!
04:16Right, here are the charges.
04:18The head man will be here at 8.30 tomorrow as a witness.
04:21Here's the evidence.
04:23Good luck with him.
04:26And the big one won't give you much trouble, but watch out for the short, fat one.
04:31What was he going on about me for? I wasn't even there.
04:36Shut up!
04:37Countess Graham and Evans, prisoners escort, fall in. Move yourselves.
04:42What have you got to say for yourselves?
04:44I've got a rotten headache.
04:46Shut up!
04:47And you?
04:49I love a lassie.
04:51A bonnie black madrassie.
04:54Shut up!
04:56Bombardier!
04:57He was guard commander.
05:00These men are under arrest and in you a charge.
05:02Put them in a guard room.
05:04Any trouble, shoot them.
05:06Yes, Sergeant Major.
05:09There is one thing, Sergeant Major.
05:11We don't have a guard room.
05:13What are you talking about?
05:14You don't have a...
05:15Hold that.
05:19I've stumped him.
05:24For the first time, I've stumped him!
05:27Who is it?
05:28Sergeant Major William, sir. Can I have a word?
05:32What's the best, Sergeant Major?
05:35We were both tanning in earlier.
05:37It's the prisoners, sir.
05:38They should be placed in the cooler, but we does not have one.
05:40No, and if we did, I'd be sleeping in it.
05:42Why should you be sleeping in the guard room?
05:46He said cooler, sir.
05:47It was a joke.
05:49Well, at this time of night...
05:51Can't they go back to their chart boys?
05:54Beg your pardon, sir.
05:55They must not mix with the other men.
05:57Bad for discipline.
05:58Besides which, sir, they might run away.
05:59What do you suggest, Sergeant Major?
06:01Well, sir, if you would give me your permission,
06:03I would tie them up with ropes and such like.
06:06If I did that, sir, they would never get away.
06:09Better not, Sergeant Major.
06:10People make such a fuss nowadays.
06:12Ashford, what course do you think we should take?
06:15I think we should leave it to the Sergeant Major's discretion.
06:17Yes.
06:18Sergeant Major, we'll leave it to your discretion.
06:20Good night.
06:23Thank you very much, sir.
06:25Thank you very much.
06:30Prison escort, sir!
06:32Kenneth Harkins.
06:33Sir.
06:34A blanket eat for the prisoners.
06:35Yes, sir.
06:36Good boy, very alert.
06:37The rest of you, pay attention.
06:40Now these.
06:43There's four walls.
06:51That is the guard room.
06:52You two, get in.
06:54Move!
06:58Stand still!
06:59Lie down!
07:01Lie down!
07:02Get a parking's blanket.
07:03Yes, sir.
07:05Oh dear, that is the guard room.
07:07If they so much as put one toe out of that, shoot them.
07:10Understand?
07:11Yes, Sergeant Major.
07:12Good, carry on.
07:14Oh, there is one thing, Sergeant Major, just before you get down for the night.
07:19You haven't drawn them a door?
07:20I have not drawn them a door because they will not need a door.
07:26Well, in that case, um, would you mind drawing them a little boy's room?
07:29What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
07:39What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
07:41What shall we do?
07:42This is absolutely disgraceful. I've never seen so many charges.
07:46Drunk, absent without leave,
07:49disobeying anti-malaria orders by being out after sundown with sleeves rolled up.
07:54Now that's very serious.
07:57Resisting arrest, insulting an NCO,
07:59being in an area declared out of bounds to wit one temple,
08:04willful damage to property to wit one religious statue male.
08:08Now we have the statue, haven't we?
08:09Is it the one, sir?
08:12I can't see where it's damaged.
08:15Bottom is broken, sir.
08:20Is it?
08:22No.
08:23They knocked it off, sir.
08:26What is it, eh?
08:27There, sir.
08:30It's graceful.
08:31What have you got to say for yourselves?
08:32Could we have a drink of water, please?
08:34No, you can't have a drink of water, I'd say so.
08:36He's under arrest.
08:37Answer the officer's questions.
08:38What have you got to say for yourselves?
08:39I didn't resist arrest, sir.
08:41No, we didn't resist arrest, sir.
08:42He says quite plainly here that you did.
08:44If I'd have resisted that, we'd run, I would have killed him.
08:47Shut up!
08:48You will not use coarse language in front of office.
08:50No, let him go on, sir.
08:51We didn't know it was a male religious statue.
08:53Ah, it doesn't look very religious.
08:55For that matter, it doesn't look very male, either.
08:57You shut up.
08:59Sir, if you are standing in the temple for 2,000 years,
09:02then you will not see your face as well.
09:05No, no, how many things will affect you on your face?
09:07The rain, the cold air.
09:09Yes, sir.
09:10He said you would not look very religious
09:12if you were standing in the temple for 2,000 years,
09:15in the rain and in the wind.
09:18And the birds.
09:18Oh, oh, and the birds?
09:22What a nasty gang on about it.
09:38Sir, he said this statue was very beautiful and very male.
09:42One day, gods were angry with village
09:45and sent great storm
09:46which wash and wash and wash
09:49and make a statue very clean.
09:51But neither one thing or the other.
09:55Yes, sir, all the people were so angry
09:58and were going to be so angry
10:00because they were angry in the temple.
10:02That's why, Manum.
10:03Oh, oh, oh, oh.
10:04Oh, sir, all the people were very angry
10:07and wanted to beat the British sirps
10:09for being in the temple of love.
10:11Yes, well, obviously you behaved like absolute beasts
10:14and made complete fools of yourselves.
10:16So 28 days CB
10:18and from now on, tin thut is out of bounds.
10:21Dismiss, Sergeant Major.
10:22Witness, Lord! Dismiss!
10:24And you get back to your village look sleepy about it, Manum.
10:33Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?
10:35He gives those two 28 days CB
10:37and he puts the village out of bounds
10:38so we're all CB.
10:39We could use the other village, Min Phon.
10:43Oh, yes.
10:43You can have a high old time at the Min Phon Bazaar.
10:47It's all flies and funny smells.
10:49It's quite obvious
10:50we've put out the most awful black in that village
10:52and something's got to be done to smooth it all over.
10:55First thing, of course,
10:55is to return their statue thing.
10:57I'll take it back personal, sir.
10:59Have a parley with the head man.
11:00I've got a sort of knack of talking to these native wallets.
11:02Get on with that punker in your pricey and burke.
11:08I think on the whole we'd better send an officer.
11:11Ashwood, you'd better take the statue back.
11:13Oh, yes, sir.
11:15Now, can you think of any other way
11:16we might hold out the olive branch, so to speak,
11:18in order to improve relations?
11:21Perhaps we ought to find out
11:22who are the top chaps in the village
11:23and give them a cocktail party.
11:25I don't think that's a very good idea, Ashwood.
11:29Most of them don't drink, sir.
11:31Precisely.
11:31You mean having them all up here.
11:33How about a Brains Trust?
11:36Well, since we don't speak their language
11:38and they don't speak ours,
11:39I don't think they'll be all that too easy, you know.
11:41Perhaps we could play some sort of game, sir.
11:44Tennis.
11:45The nearest tennis court's 125 miles away.
11:49Now, do concentrate, Ashwood.
11:50Soccer, sir. We could play them soccer.
11:52By Jove, yes, we could.
11:53Seven aside.
11:55Do the natives know how to play?
11:56I doubt it, sir.
11:58In fact, it's probably the only lot
11:59in the all-wide world
12:00our Lord of Puffs could beat.
12:02Probably slaughter them.
12:03Hold on, Sergeant Major.
12:04That's not the idea at all.
12:06No, no, no.
12:06We're trying to improve relations.
12:08We've got to let them win.
12:10Let them win, sir?
12:11Only just mine,
12:12but nevertheless, they must win.
12:13I don't seem right to me, sir,
12:14allusion to a lot of natives, right?
12:15Oh, never mind.
12:16Nobody will see.
12:16Look, organise it, will you?
12:18Find a pitch,
12:19improvise some posts,
12:20mark it out, will you?
12:21Do we have any whitewash?
12:23The army always has whitewash, sir.
12:24Comes on the airlift with a blankle.
12:26Right.
12:27I'll see you in, Sergeant Major.
12:28Ah.
12:28There you go.
12:29Oh, before you go, Sergeant Major,
12:31I've got a bit of a bone
12:33to pick with you.
12:35With me, sir?
12:36Yes, Sergeant Major.
12:37I thought you were jolly cruel
12:39to those chaps,
12:39not allowing them to have a drink.
12:42I was not really being cruel, sir.
12:43You see, they'd been drinking rice wine.
12:45It dehydrates you.
12:46One drop of anything on top of that
12:48and you're just as drunk
12:49as when you started.
12:51Oh, dear.
12:52I've just sent them over
12:53two cups of char.
12:54Oh, dear.
12:54Here we are.
13:03This will be a lovely bit for a pitch.
13:18We can have one goal over there
13:21and another goal over here.
13:25How do you mind, Bobber, dear?
13:27A soccer pitch has to be 100 yards long.
13:29This is barely 30.
13:31Well, we won't have to do all that
13:33running about, then, will we?
13:34Let's get standing in the goals
13:35and kick the ball at each other.
13:37I'll have to scale it down a bit.
13:39Now, if the pitch is going to be
13:4030 yards long,
13:41let's see now.
13:42We could play with 8-foot goals,
13:444-foot 10 inches high
13:45and, of course, a 9-inch ball.
13:47Where would we get a 9-inch ball?
13:49The quiet boy, Colonel Parkins.
13:51He's got common sense, he has.
13:52There's more than I can say for you,
13:55Professor Hemstein.
13:56Where will we get a 9-inch ball?
13:58We could use a balloon.
13:59A Dutch change would be better.
14:01I got them at the depot.
14:02That's ludicrous.
14:04You will break into pieces
14:05at the first kick.
14:06Then we could hate it.
14:07I'm not the fool, you know.
14:08No.
14:09You're a brother and idiot.
14:10You're an old brother and idiot.
14:12Carry on down that path for them.
14:13Move yourself.
14:13Move yourself.
14:14Move yourself.
14:14Move yourself.
14:15That charm.
14:16I would not be further
14:19to you, Gunnar Parkins.
14:20You was quite sensible at times.
14:22How was your mother, by the way, boy?
14:29Carl, I fall out for a smoke.
14:31If you haven't got any,
14:32go through the motions.
14:33The road's down in five minutes.
14:35We're moving on.
14:38We've been moving on for four hours.
14:39When it comes to a silly game
14:41of football,
14:41none of you will compromise.
14:44Lofty.
14:45For heaven's sake,
14:45stop picking your toes.
14:47My feet are killing me.
14:49Killing us as well.
14:51It's certain to where we are.
14:53What are you talking about, man?
14:55This is L-shaped.
14:56I say, Sergeant Major.
14:58Sure.
14:58Come on, on your feet.
15:00What's going on?
15:02Well, just giving a man
15:03a bit of a break, sir.
15:04Fine.
15:04The colonel's furious.
15:06He expected you back simply ages ago.
15:08You've left him all alone.
15:10Well, have you found anything?
15:12Not up to now, sir.
15:13What have you all been doing?
15:15What's wrong with this place?
15:18It's L-shaped, sir.
15:19L-shaped?
15:20What does that matter?
15:21It's only a silly game.
15:23Where's your initiative, Sergeant Major?
15:24Get it marked out.
15:25Right.
15:28You heard what the officer said.
15:30Get moving.
15:31I want to see the whitewash
15:32flying off that brush.
15:34We'll have one goal up there
15:35and one round by here.
15:36But the goalies won't be able
15:37to see each other, Sergeant Major.
15:39Oh, yeah.
15:39Oh, Sergeant.
15:40Never mind.
15:41Excuse me, Sergeant Major.
15:43Where it goes round the bend,
15:44shall we curve the line
15:45or shall we make an angle?
15:47Shall we make a curve?
15:50You does not put curves
15:51on soccer bridges,
15:53Mr. Lardy-Dargunner-Graham.
15:54You put straight lines
15:55and corners.
15:56Then we'll have six corners.
15:58Then get six flags!
15:59Use your inner shittier.
16:01Move yourself, move yourself!
16:04Hi-ho, hi-ho
16:05We'll make your troubles go
16:08This people's gone
16:09All day long, hi-ho
16:11Hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho
16:13Hi-ho
16:14For if you're feeling low
16:16I'll let you go
16:18Or a bit high
16:19Hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho
16:21Hi-ho
16:22It's home from work we go
16:25Keep on singing
16:26All day long, hi-ho
16:28Hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho
16:30Hi-ho
16:31All seven in a row
16:33You positively can go wrong
16:35With a high
16:36Hi-ho
16:37I'll let you go
16:45Hi-ho
16:45Hi-ho
16:46Oh my God
16:49Hi-ho
16:50Hi-ho
16:52Hi-ho
16:53Oh, my God.
17:23Oh, here we are, sir.
17:40Now, this is the pitch.
17:43That is one goal, sir.
17:45I see.
17:45And that is the other goal.
17:48Ah.
17:48I suppose there's no chance of these native chapits cancelling, is there?
17:54Oh, none at all.
17:55They seem frightfully keen when I challenge them.
17:58You have explained to them that knives and blowpipes and things are absolutely not on.
18:02I know, sir.
18:03And they did understand, didn't they?
18:05Will you shut up?
18:07Well, it's going to be a rump game, and no mistake.
18:10I think, tactically speaking, we should have our fastest men on the outside of the L,
18:14and then the chaps on this side can act as a sort of bilateral pivot.
18:17Who is our fastest man?
18:20Oh, Gunnar Parkins, sir, without a shadow of a doubt.
18:23Long streak of lightning.
18:24Very alert.
18:25I thought, sir, perhaps him, Gunnar Clark, Gunnar McIntosh, myself, would make up the
18:30forward line.
18:31Good.
18:32Well, I shan't be playing, of course.
18:34Captain Ash will be referee.
18:36What about the defence?
18:37Oh, well, sir, I don't suppose they'd get the ball in our half very much, but I thought
18:40Bombardier Bowman, Gunnar Graham could probably, well, sort of combine and become mixed half
18:44and full-back, sir.
18:45That's pretty useless, sir, but I don't think they'd be used much anyway.
18:49What about the goalie?
18:51Ah, well, sir.
18:52Gareth Evans has sprained his ankle.
18:54Oh, who does that leave us with?
19:03Gunnar Sagnum, sir?
19:05How bad is Evans' ankle?
19:08Too bad, sir.
19:10Well, couldn't we put Graham in goal?
19:12I mean, he wouldn't be much use anywhere.
19:14He might do quite well there.
19:16Oh, no, sir, it's his hands.
19:17What's the matter with him?
19:18Oh, he's an artist, sir.
19:19I mean, his hands are his fortune, sir.
19:21I mean, one crushed finger, one poison cut, and he's useless, absolutely useless.
19:28Another piece of junk on life's rubbish heap.
19:31Right, well, I'll see you on the field.
19:33Now, don't forget, the object of this game is not to win.
19:37Because of the behaviour of one or two thoughtless gunners, this village doesn't think much of the British,
19:42and you've got to put that right.
19:43You've got to show that we're a jolly sporting lot, and these native chaps must be allowed to beat us.
19:50But only just.
19:51Then we'll have a return match and beat the hell out of them.
19:56Come and have a word with me, will you?
20:01Come on, you chaps.
20:02We haven't got all night.
20:06I left Bormadier Bormadier in charge, sir.
20:08I don't know where they's got to.
20:09Let's be having you!
20:10If you is not on parade in 30 seconds, you is all on a fizzer!
20:14Bormadier!
20:19Bormadier!
20:21What do you think you're on?
20:22Well, it was out of these from the conference.
20:25Or the Chinese jackets from the Chinese theme.
20:28Or the Mexican boleros.
20:30I thought these look more masculine.
20:33Get them off!
20:34What's worse?
20:34Get them off!
20:36Get them off.
20:36Get them off.
20:37He doesn't like them.
20:38Get them off.
20:41Help me, Bob.
20:42It's the Rangers.
20:44Come and follow me.
20:47Not you, not you.
20:50You is British.
20:51You salutes!
21:00Good morning.
21:02My name, please, is Mohamed Baksh.
21:05Failed entrance examination, Calcutta University.
21:09Most pleased to meet you.
21:11I am your unbiased referee.
21:13Well, I was the referee.
21:16Oh, I see.
21:18We tossed.
21:20You lose.
21:21Bad luck.
21:26Please to start.
21:27I didn't even call.
21:33Now, please be paying attention.
21:38I want nice, clean game.
21:41Not holding any clinches.
21:45No dirties.
21:46Understand?
21:46Do not speak Urdu to me.
21:48I am not some damn native.
21:49Speak up.
21:50All right.
21:51Place it, lads.
21:52What are you soldier boys playing at?
21:54Already you are playing dirty.
21:56Place it, lads.
21:57What are you soldier boys playing at?
22:02Already you are playing dirty.
22:06What about?
22:08You got a boat sound.
22:10There's really boats.
22:12You're going to crush the feet of these poor Indians.
22:16You call that sporting?
22:19I'm not going to have dirties.
22:21Take them off.
22:23That's not fair.
22:24Half feet or tender and delicate.
22:26All right.
22:27My lads are not used to playing in bare feet.
22:30Do you not know better than to argue with the referee?
22:33That's not arguing.
22:34Do not be cheeky.
22:37Or I shall be taking your name down.
22:39Right.
22:40Get to it, lads.
22:43My little poison thaw.
22:45My dance career be ruined.
22:51Hey, we're not ready.
22:53I wouldn't know where it should be.
22:54I just...
22:55No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:58Oh, my God!
23:20Oh, look at you, ref.
23:23That was a fault.
23:24I am the referee soldier boy.
23:26You're not be telling me how to run my business.
23:30He carried it in his arms.
23:31Don't argue with me, please.
23:34I'm not arguing.
23:35I'm telling you, mate.
23:37Right, I'm taking your name down.
23:39What is your name, please?
23:41It's Williams.
23:42Sergeant Major Williams.
23:44Sir Williams.
23:47Hey, that was our kick-off.
23:56What is you talking about?
24:01That was offside.
24:03You are quite right.
24:04Penalty.
24:16That was supposed to be our penalty,
24:19your great burk.
24:21One more goal for being rude to the referee.
24:26This is going to be an absolute debacle.
24:51Fire! Fire!
24:52Fire!
24:52Fire!
24:53Fire!
24:56Fire!
24:57Fire!
24:58Fire!
24:59Fire!
25:00Fire!
25:01This is definitely debacle.
25:04One more piece of dirty foulness,
25:06you'll be sent off.
25:07Fire!
25:08Fire!
25:09Fire!
25:10Fire!
25:11Fire!
25:12Fire!
25:13Fire!
25:14Fire!
25:15Fire!
25:16Fire!
25:17Fire!
25:18Fire!
25:19Fire!
25:20Fire!
25:21Fire!
25:22Fire!
25:23Fire!
25:24Fire!
25:25Fire!
25:26Fire!
25:27Fire!
25:28Fire!
25:29Fire!
25:30Fire!
25:31Fire!
25:32Fire!
25:33Fire!
25:34Fire!
25:35Fire!
25:36Fire!
25:37Fire!
25:38Fire!
25:39Fire!
25:40Fire!
25:41Fire!
25:42Fire!
25:43Fire!
25:44Now, what's the matter?
25:49Half time.
25:55Sorry, I couldn't get lemons.
25:56Good.
25:57You can have half a mango, wait.
25:58And one cup of char, absolutely freeza.
26:02This is terrible, Sergeant Major.
26:04If the news leaks out, we'll be the laughing stock of the 14th Army.
26:07What can he do with a rough-like answer?
26:09He gave one penalty for leg before wicket.
26:12You know, we've finished.
26:13I suppose you realise that.
26:14I mean, the audience won't want to come and see our shows anymore.
26:17They'll just laugh at us and make rude remarks.
26:19And it's all your fault.
26:21Could we stop giving them shows for a couple of weeks till they forget?
26:24They'll never forget.
26:26Well, surely there's something we could do.
26:28All is not yet lost.
26:30I have a feeling that Charwalla might be able to help.
26:33Charwalla, a word in your ear, my dear fellow.
26:36Well, it's up to you, Sergeant Major.
26:38But we can't allow them to win with a score like that.
26:40At this rate, they'll win 98-0.
26:42No worry, sir.
26:43I've got a subtle plan to stop this rot.
26:47Sergeant!
26:49Next time that ball passes you,
26:51you're confined to barracks for three days.
26:52Understood?
26:53Yes, Sergeant Major.
26:53Oh, that was covered!
26:56I didn't know what to give you shit, ain't it?
26:58Yeah!
26:58Stop!
26:58Have a shot!
26:59Hooray!
27:00Hooray!
27:00Hooray!
27:01Hooray!
27:01Beautiful gold!
27:03Most beautiful gold I've ever seen!
27:05And I'm deafening it was not a foul!
27:08Mr. Dashed, what?
27:09Those Indian chaps didn't try to stop our chaps at all.
27:12This is definitely the most extraordinary game I've ever seen.
27:15And I've got a beautiful gold, sheer and delight!
27:31Ha, ha, ha!
27:32What have you done bribed them?
27:34It seems to be working.
27:36Ha, ha, ha!
27:37What's happening at their gold?
27:40I'll go around the court and have a look.
27:42Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
27:47Such a beautiful gold!
27:49It makes my hard thinking!
27:50Ha, ha, ha, ha!
27:51Well done, well done, well done, well done, 50-51, a very satisfactory score.
27:58Now as soon as you're cleaned up, you'll have the rest of the day off.
28:01Carry on, Sergeant Major.
28:02Sure.
28:08Right then, what happened?
28:11Magintosh, did you frighten them natives so they wouldn't touch the ball?
28:15No, Sergeant Major.
28:16Clark.
28:17No, Sergeant Major.
28:19Well, who did then?
28:20It was I, Sergeant Major.
28:23You?
28:25You couldn't frighten Miss Muffet.
28:28I merely got the charwaller to drop a hint that the ball was made of female cow skin.
28:34Well, as you know, the female cow is a sacred animal, so they wouldn't kick it.
28:39Rather ingenious, don't you think, Sergeant Major?
28:42Ingenious?
28:44Disgraceful.
28:45Anyway, that does not account for the referee.
28:47I had a little word with him, sir.
28:52I told him if he didn't play fair, our gods would send a storm, which would wash him and
28:57wash him and wash him, till he was very, very clean.
29:00But neither one thing or the other.
29:01I'm not gonna talk to him.
29:06I don't know how he was made of them.
29:10I'm not going to try to jump in, tell me how he can do that.
29:12I know, I know you've been divorced.
29:13I know you've beenrun, but I've been to a I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I.
29:20And shows up and meet with us alone
29:23You are good with us so meet again
29:26Cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you
29:29I'm good to make it to a game
29:33So give us a cheer with a hand
29:35Hey, hey, hey, just gather around
29:37And go stand it down
29:39With us alone, there's plenty of fun
29:42So meet again cos the boys are here
29:45The boys to entertain you
29:47B-O-B-O-Y
29:50It's boys to entertain you
29:53And of hope and glory
29:57Mother of the
29:59Shadow!
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