- 7 weeks ago
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00:00The Lucy Show
00:10Starring Lucille Ball
00:16Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Now, Mrs. Winkler, I'm not the type of man to high-pressure anyone into making a hasty decision,
00:50but I'm sure you'd be more than satisfied if you give our bank a chance to handle your late husband's estate.
00:55Well, I appreciate your interest, Mr. Mooney, but I think I'd like a little longer to think it over.
01:02Of course.
01:04And now I must be getting back to Pasadena.
01:08And remember, Mrs. Winkler, our bank offers more than just business relationships.
01:13With us, you would be treated as a friend and a member of the family.
01:17Well, I must say, Mr. Mooney, I like the way you make a person feel so sheltered and protected.
01:25Ah, well, that's our policy, isn't it?
01:29Mr. Mooney, go!
01:33Wait! Oh, Mrs. Winkler, are you all right?
01:36Yes, yes, I'm all right.
01:37Oh, I apologize for my secretary.
01:39Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive me.
01:42Oh, my heart is still pounding the way you sailed across that desk.
01:46Oh, my dear, forget it.
01:49I rather enjoy a little action once in a while.
01:53I'm so tired of having Boy Scouts always trying to take me across the street.
01:59Good day, Mr. Mooney.
02:01Good day, Mrs. Winkler.
02:03Oh, it's so nice of you to make it that way, really.
02:05Thank you so much.
02:07Mrs. Carmichael, do you realize Mrs. Winkler is a very important potential client?
02:12Well, yes, Mr. Mooney, I said it was an accident. I just turned...
02:16What are you doing with all that junk, anyway?
02:21Did you come here to work or to try out for the Olympics?
02:24No, sir, the girls here at the office loaned me all this stuff to take the Lake Arrowhead tomorrow.
02:30Oh, yes, I almost forgot.
02:32Tomorrow is my vacation.
02:35You mean my vacation.
02:36When you're not here, it's my vacation.
03:01Who's winning?
03:02Well, I was just getting a little practice.
03:08The personnel office sent me over to see Mr. Mooney's secretary.
03:11Oh, well, that's me. I'm Lucy Carmichael.
03:14Hi, I'm Audrey Fields. I'm going to be replacing you on your vacation.
03:17Oh, oh, oh, fine, fine.
03:19Well, Mr. Mooney just stepped out, and I'll be glad to introduce you to him.
03:23When he comes back, won't you just sit down?
03:24Well, maybe while we're waiting, you'd show me around and tell me what my duties are.
03:28Oh, well, it's just the usual secretarial work, you know, answering the phone and typing letters and filing and things like that.
03:36And if I can do it, anybody can.
03:39Now, tell me about Mr. Mooney.
03:41Just what kind of a boss is your employer?
03:45Well, let me put it this way.
03:47He's more boss than employer.
03:49He yells a lot.
03:51Uh-oh, one of those, huh?
03:53Yeah.
03:53Well, I'm sure that a man like that can be handled with tact and diplomacy.
03:58Oh, well, that's just the way I handle, Mr. Mooney.
04:01I have found that the best tact and diplomacy is just yell right back at it.
04:05Hey, there's Carmichael!
04:07What do you want?
04:11Well, I'll tell you what I want.
04:15You're supposed to put addresses on letters before you take them to the mail room.
04:19Yes, sir.
04:20I'll be glad to help.
04:21Well, who's this?
04:24Oh, that's Miss Audrey Fields.
04:26She's going to replace me during my vacation.
04:29Oh, how do you do?
04:30How do you do, Mr. Mooney?
04:32Please, sit down, sit down.
04:35Well, tell me, Miss Fields, have you had much experience in this sort of work?
04:39Oh, yes, sir.
04:40My last position was as private secretary to the president of the North Atlantic Trust Company.
04:45Oh, private secretary to the president?
04:48Well, yes.
04:48You must have been with the company for quite some time.
04:52No, not really.
04:53Actually, when I started, the situation was rather similar to this one.
04:57I replaced a girl who went on her vacation, and Mr. Grant was so pleased with my work that he kept me on.
05:04Oh.
05:04And by the time she got back, I had assumed so many of her responsibilities that they made her my secretary.
05:16My, isn't that interesting?
05:18Yes, very.
05:20Good.
05:20Well, now, it will be a pleasure having someone with your experience around here to help us.
05:26You know, Mr. Mooney, you remind me somewhat of Mr. Grant.
05:31Oh, I do?
05:32Uh-huh.
05:32Of course, he's a bit older.
05:35How old is he?
05:37At least 40.
05:38Oh.
05:39You know, Mr. Mooney, now that I see how young and attractive you really are, I'm really sort of surprised that this office is furnished so, um, conservatively.
05:54Uh, uh, conservatively?
05:55Oh, yes, Mr. Mooney, now, for instance, these drapes, they're really terribly ordinary.
06:03Today, people are going in for fun patterns and lamps, um, with a message.
06:09Lamps with a message.
06:10Uh-huh.
06:12And now, let me see, the rug looks like it's in good shape.
06:15Maybe shampooing it would bring it back to life.
06:18It is a little dead, isn't it?
06:20Uh-huh.
06:21And I think that we should move my desk just a little closer to yours, and then we'd still have plenty of room here in the middle for a nice and formal arrangement, something cozy and warm, huh?
06:36How about a love seat with an incense burner?
06:43Hardly.
06:43Well, uh, I like your suggestions very much, Miss Fields, very much indeed.
06:52Uh, Mrs. Carmichael?
06:53Yes, sir?
06:54Before you go to lunch, will you get in touch with an interior decorator?
06:57Yes, sir.
06:57Make sure we get someone very avant-garde and modern.
07:01Oui, madame.
07:02And get someone up here to shampoo this rug and bring it back to life.
07:07Yes, sir.
07:08There's nothing worse than a dead rug.
07:09Oh, and if anyone calls, I'll be out to lunch.
07:14Yes, sir.
07:15Now, there's one more thing.
07:16Yes, sir.
07:18Are you interested in lunch, Miss Fields?
07:21I mean, you?
07:23Yeah.
07:23Oh, thank you.
07:29Oh, dear.
07:46Now, come on, Lucy.
07:47Stop worrying.
07:48Wait till you see these kooky outfits I borrowed for you from the studio.
07:52All very high fashion.
07:54And look, honey, this is the wig Audrey Hepburn wore in the picture we saw.
07:57You know, some nights you can be a brunette just for kicks.
08:01Well, Mary Jane, I appreciate all the trouble that you went to,
08:04but I just think I should call Lake Arrowhead and cancel my reservation.
08:08Oh, Lucy, all year long you've looked forward to this trip.
08:12Now, don't blow it just because some girl's taking your place at the office.
08:16That's just it.
08:17Taking my place.
08:18She's the type that could con Mr. Mooney into making my vacation permanent.
08:23Mr. Mooney wouldn't allow a thing like that.
08:26Ha!
08:27Well, I know you two have your differences, but Mr. Mooney's loyal.
08:31If he wasn't, he'd have hired a good secretary a long time ago.
08:38Now, you're a big help.
08:40Well?
08:41Anyway, she's more than just a secretary.
08:43She's one of those tricky chicks.
08:46You know what she is?
08:47What?
08:47She's a one-woman patent place.
08:49Now you make her sound like a real femme fatale.
08:55What does she look like?
08:56Oh, nothing special.
08:58She's about the same age as me when I was younger.
09:02She's attractive, but not beautiful.
09:05Her figure's okay, but not wow, you know.
09:08Well, so what are you worried about?
09:09She's just a girl.
09:10I know, but she's so good at it.
09:14But, honey, Mr. Mooney's not going to be taken in by someone like that.
09:18He's a respectable married man.
09:20He's also at the dangerous age.
09:23He's past the dangerous age.
09:25Lucy, I tell you, you're just letting your imagination run wild.
09:35Now, why don't you go up to Lake Arrowhead and stop worrying about your job?
09:39Look, I'm not just worrying about my job.
09:41I don't want to see Mr. Mooney led astray by some designing woman.
09:45Is there anything you can do about it?
09:48Well, I can stay around where I can keep an eye on them and see they don't get too cozy.
09:52Lucy, Lucy, you're supposed to be on a vacation.
09:55You can't be seen hanging around the bank.
09:59Well, now they don't have to know it's me that's hanging around the bank.
10:05Lucy, no, not another one of your kooky capers.
10:09Well, all I know is I just got to protect poor Mr. Mooney from that, that menace.
10:15Well, Lucy.
10:19A new paragraph.
10:20Confidentially, I think my approach to landing the Winkler account is far superior to Mr. Cheever's old-fashioned fuddy-duddy way.
10:34Oh, by the way, where did these flowers come from?
10:39Oh, I brought them.
10:40I thought they'd make your office just a little more cheerful.
10:43Ah, our office.
10:48Oh, Mr. Mooney.
10:49Oh, they smell lovely.
10:52I was hoping their fragrance would help overcome the aroma of Mrs. Carmichael's perfume that seems to linger on.
10:59Oh, is that her perfume?
11:02Hmm, I thought that was insecticide.
11:04Good morning, Mr. Mooney's office.
11:10Oh, the interior decorator is here.
11:12Good, good, good.
11:13Send the decorator in, please.
11:14I just know you're going to love all the ideas I have for your office.
11:20Uh-uh-uh.
11:20Our office.
11:22Our office.
11:24Ciao.
11:25I am Margo of Margo's Mad, Mad, Mad interior.
11:50She has a Mad, Mad, Mad exterior, too, guys.
11:56Won't you come in?
12:06I'm, uh, Mr. Mooney's secretary.
12:09Oh, you must be that lovely Mrs. Carmichael I spoke to on the phone.
12:14No, Mrs. Carmichael is on vacation.
12:17I'm taking her place.
12:18Oh, oh.
12:20Uh, Mr. Mooney, Mrs. Carmichael sure thinks the world of you.
12:24Oh, yeah, she says you were so kind and considerate and so loyal.
12:29And, oh, by the way, how's Mrs. Mooney?
12:35Well, well, we are fine.
12:38I'm glad to hear that.
12:40Would you mind if we got on with the decorating?
12:42Why not?
12:46Over here, I thought we should have some very bold masculine drapes.
12:51A pattern that would reflect Mr. Mooney's personality.
12:55Maybe something in an animal motif.
12:57How about something with a stripe down its back?
13:06Yes, stripes.
13:08Stripes are very in this season.
13:10Yes, they're way in.
13:12And over there...
13:14Where?
13:15There.
13:16We thought that we should have a very important painting.
13:20Like what?
13:21Something that art lovers can communicate with.
13:23No.
13:24Well, if it's communication you want, how about a Salvador Dali?
13:29Then when anyone comes through the door, they can say,
13:32Hello, Dali.
13:33That's communication.
13:39Yes, well, we'll think about that.
13:42Now, over here, I would suggest that we put a nice, cozy little bar.
13:47A bar?
13:48Oh, yes, Mr. Mooney.
13:50Nowadays, more deals are made over a bar than over a desk.
13:54Oh, true, true.
13:57I'd like the bar to be made out of something unusual.
13:59Like what?
14:00Well, now, what do you have in distressed wood?
14:07Well, we have some walnut that looks a little worried.
14:12Well, maybe you figure a melancholy mahogany.
14:15Or if you want something really distressed,
14:18we have some pecky cypress that's on the verge of suicide.
14:27I know what I'd like.
14:29What?
14:29Uh, maple.
14:32Oh, maple, good.
14:34With a beautiful blonde finish to go with your hair.
14:38Oh, aren't you sweet?
14:41And maybe a black base to go with the roof.
14:44Well, um, if you ladies have settled your decorating problems, we have to get back to work.
14:54Oh, well, don't let me interrupt.
14:56You two just go ahead like I wasn't even here.
14:58I'll just take a few measurements.
15:00Oh, fine, fine.
15:01Now, let's get on with our correspondence.
15:03Uh, would you read me the last paragraph of that memo I dictated?
15:08Yes, sir.
15:10Um, confidentially, Mr. Cavanaugh, I think my approach to landing the Winkler account is superior to Mr. Cheever's old-fashioned fuddy-duddy way.
15:18Fine, fine, fine.
15:20Now, that memo goes to Mr. Cavanaugh, and be sure that this one goes to Mr. Cheever.
15:25And don't get them mixed up, because if you do, I am in terrible trouble.
15:29Oh, I'll be very careful, Mr. Mooney.
15:31Perhaps Mrs. Carmichael could make that mistake, but I never could.
15:36Perhaps Mrs. Carmichael could make that mistake.
16:06But I never could.
16:19Gentlemen, the stock that you mention will be acceptable as collateral for the loan that you are requesting.
16:27However, if the loan will not...
16:32My name is Jose Hernandez.
16:40Apparently, you're here to shampoo the rug.
16:42Apparently, I come to shampoo the rug.
16:44Wouldn't Mrs. Carmichael send someone over here to shampoo the rug when we have important work to do?
16:54Now, she is a real bird brain.
17:01Couldn't you make arrangements to come back later this evening?
17:03Oh, no, I cannot work at night.
17:06At night, I have to siesta.
17:09Don't you take your siesta in the afternoon?
17:11No, Esther, my girl, tonight I have to siesta.
17:14Oh, really, shampooing the rug while we are working.
17:20What a bother.
17:21Oh, you don't bother me, senor.
17:23I wasn't referring to you.
17:25Oh, gracias, gracias.
17:27Oh, take off your feet, senora.
17:32On the way for one, Jose.
17:34Oh, sir, you go someplace to help.
17:36Yeah, she still wanna, but I don't wanna.
17:42Mooney, if I want to talk to you about this limo I received.
17:45Yes, Mr. Schieber, yes, sir.
17:46What about it, sir?
17:47Well, in it, you criticize my handling of the Winkler account.
17:50And you also refer to me as an old buddy-duddy.
17:54Oh, well, sir, my secretary must have made a mistake in transcribing a note.
18:00I have never thought of you as a buddy.
18:02Or even a duddy.
18:04Oh, well, what I think I said was that you are a ready Freddy.
18:09Well, listen, ready Freddy.
18:12You had better get ready to find yourself another job with another buddy-duddy.
18:17If we don't land that Winkler account...
18:20Oh, yes, sir.
18:20Oh, sir.
18:21This is a bank, not a laundry.
18:27Permit, sir.
18:28Can you explain how this happened?
18:31No, no, no.
18:33I don't know how it happened.
18:33I just came to jump with a rock.
18:35I'm talking to you.
18:37I'm talking to you.
18:38Well, Miss Fields.
18:39No, I'm sorry.
18:40I don't understand.
18:41This is worse than anything, Mrs.
18:43Come on, Cleppity.
18:44Oh, no.
18:45Yes, sir.
18:48Oh, will you stop that silly dancing?
18:51I'm dancing.
18:52I'm just rubbing the thugs in the rug.
18:54Rubbing the thugs in the rug.
18:55Rub them in some other rug.
18:56Now, come on.
18:57Out of here.
18:58I've had to go to this.
18:59Out, out, out.
19:00Oh, senor, senor.
19:01You're bending my enchilada.
19:03Oh, you're...
19:05I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney.
19:16Mrs. Winkler still doesn't answer.
19:17Oh, well, keep trying.
19:18Keep trying.
19:19If she takes her account to a rival bank,
19:21I'll be looking for another job.
19:23Oh, I don't know.
19:26Good morning, Mr. Mooney.
19:31Good morning, Mrs. Winkler.
19:34Oh, how nice to see you.
19:36Won't you sit down?
19:39Oh, my.
19:40We've been trying to get you on the phone all morning.
19:43Oh, have you really?
19:47Well, I was visiting some friends at Lake Arrowhead.
19:51Oh, and while I was there,
19:53I ran into that adorable secretary of yours.
19:56Mrs. Carmichael, what a dear, dear girl.
20:00Oh, well, that's very generous of you to say that
20:03after the way she sprawled you across this desk.
20:06Oh, see nothing of it.
20:07She's just a spirited young thing.
20:10I was the same way when I was younger.
20:13My, my.
20:14This office seems so dead and empty without her.
20:17Oh, my.
20:18You are fond of her.
20:20Well, she's my kind of people.
20:23I like doing business with my kind of people.
20:27Doing business?
20:29Yes.
20:29Well, now, I can arrange to have the papers
20:31all drawn up for your signature tomorrow.
20:33Oh, well, Mrs. Carmichael, be back tomorrow.
20:37Oh, I'm afraid not.
20:39Oh, well, why don't you have Mrs. Carmichael call me
20:42when she gets back from her vacation?
20:44And we'll settle things then.
20:46Oh, whatever you say, Mrs. Winkler.
20:48Whatever you say, of course.
20:49Oh, my.
21:00Oh, my.
21:02She certainly is eccentric.
21:03Well, she'd have to be to be so fond of Mrs. Carmichael.
21:08Oh, she's also very forgetful.
21:10Here's her handkerchief.
21:12Now, I wonder why she insists on Mrs. Carmichael being here
21:18before she'll do business with us.
21:20Now, she went to Arrowhead.
21:24Arrowhead.
21:24I am beginning to smell a rat's perfume.
21:30I am beginning to smell the rat's perfume.
21:34Now, look at these initials.
21:35L.C.
21:37Lucille Carmichael!
21:39Now, what in the world could she be up to?
21:41Why, she's here to spy on us.
21:43Well, why would she want to do a thing like that?
21:45She's jealous of me.
21:47Jealous?
21:48Well, as a woman, she's aware of the great admiration
21:52that I have for you, Mr. Mooney.
21:54Now, what was it you said they used to call you in college?
22:00Speedy.
22:05Speedy.
22:14Ah, so you came back, did you,
22:17to get the handkerchief before we discovered your initials.
22:20Handkerchief?
22:21What are you talking about?
22:22Oh, don't give me that!
22:24Come on, I've had enough of your game!
22:27Oh!
22:31Oh, you don't know what you just did!
22:35You realize what you have made me do?
22:53Yes, yes, I'm sorry, Mr.
22:54Sorry!
22:55I not only threw out an important client,
22:58I have thrown my entire career out!
23:01Oh, Mr. Cheever, yes, sir!
23:06Mrs. Winkler was just in my office.
23:08Oh!
23:08I don't know what you said to her, but congratulations!
23:13Congratulations?
23:14Yes!
23:15She wants you to handle her account personally.
23:18She says you're the independent, no-nonsense type.
23:20She likes your spirit.
23:22Says you remind her of her late husband.
23:25Splendid, my boy.
23:26Splendid!
23:33Mr. Mooney?
23:35See, I'm lucky for you.
23:38Well, it's lucky for you that things turned out the way they did.
23:41Yes, sir.
23:42Yes, sir.
23:45Where are you going, Miss Fields?
23:48To Arrowhead!
23:50I've had enough of this kooky joint!
23:52Speedy!
24:04If, uh, if you're stuck for a secretary, Mr. Mooney,
24:08I can take my vacation some other time.
24:11That is, if you still want me to work for you.
24:13Well, listen, one thing I have to get settled first.
24:20What's that, sir?
24:24Are you interested in lunch, Mrs. Carmichael?
24:30With you?
24:30Yes!
24:31Yes!
24:32Yes!
24:43I've had enough of it!
24:50Yes!
24:51That was my life!
24:52Yes!
24:52Yes!
24:54Yes!
24:54Yes!
24:55Yes!
25:03Yes!
25:04Oh, yes!
25:06Yes!
25:07Yes!
25:08Mm-hmm!
25:10Yes!
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