- 6 months ago
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00:00The Lucy Show
00:12Starring Lucille Ball
00:18Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Mrs. Carmichael
00:56Those boots were made for walking
00:59Oh, well I'm having trouble with this typewriter
01:03Well you shouldn't have, it's a brand new electric typewriter
01:05A child could run it
01:07Well I'll bet Tom Edison himself couldn't work this one
01:10Couldn't I have my old typewriter back?
01:12No, you simply have got to learn how to run that electric typewriter
01:16Well couldn't I break in slowly like maybe on a gas typewriter?
01:21This is no time to be facetious, Mrs. Carmichael
01:24Well
01:24Now did you put the paper in properly?
01:27Of course
01:27Did you hit the keys properly?
01:29Yes, I did
01:30Did you plug it in properly?
01:33Oh, plug it in
01:35Oh, you must think I'm a perfect idiot
01:38Nobody's perfect
01:40But you'll do until the real thing comes along
01:44Now, Mrs. Carmichael
01:47This is an electric typewriter
01:49Yes, sir
01:50This is the plug for the electric typewriter
01:54Yes, sir
01:54And this is the outlet that supplies the electricity for the electric typewriter
01:59Oh, Mr. Mooney, I don't
02:00Now, please don't interrupt
02:02Now, the typewriter will not work without electricity
02:05We must plug it in
02:06So
02:07Mr. Mooney, I
02:08Please don't interrupt
02:10So
02:12We plug this into that
02:14Thusly
02:16That's what I tried to tell you
02:25That outlet has a short circuit
02:28Now, if you don't mind, Mr. Mooney
02:31We plug this into that
02:37Thusly
02:39See, Mr. Mooney
02:53This machine is wonderful
02:56You know, it practically types by itself
02:58I'll bet someday they invent a typewriter that does type by itself
03:02And then you wouldn't need me
03:04May I live to see the day?
03:09Well, I don't think that was a very nice thing for you to say
03:12No, you don't
03:13No, I don't
03:14You know something?
03:15You're always finding fault with me
03:17If I'm so incompetent, how come you picked me from the secretarial pool?
03:22Picked you?
03:23You were the only one left
03:25You know, you're lucky you got me
03:29Good help is very hard to find these days
03:31I know, I'm still looking
03:33It'll be a lot easier for me to go out and get another job
03:38Than for you to find another secretary
03:40You get another job?
03:43Ha!
03:45I could get another job if I wanted to
03:47Well, it would be very interesting to see just what kind of a job you think you're qualified for
03:53Well, I'm qualified for a lot more than you ever give me credit for
03:56And I'd like a chance to prove it, I'll tell you that
03:58All right, good, good
03:59Why don't we start by looking in the help-wanted section of the newspaper?
04:03That's a very good idea
04:04Oh, here we are
04:06Help-wanted female
04:07Excellent position open for unusually talented young lady
04:13College graduate
04:15With a master's degree in psychology
04:18And a thorough background in calculus, trigonometry, and mathematical analysis
04:24Must speak six languages
04:27And be expert at operating a digital computer
04:32What's their phone number?
04:36You're going to apply for the job?
04:39No, I'm going to call them and tell them not to count on me
04:41I don't think not
04:44Oh, here's another job that you're not qualified for
04:47Mr. Mooney, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to select my own new job
04:51Well, I'm just trying to help
04:52Thank you, but I'd like to find it
04:54Oh, here's one
04:56It's an ad for an employment agency that specializes in unusual jobs
05:00The unique employment agency
05:02We get odd positions for odd people
05:04Oh, that's you, all right
05:06Never mind, I'm going right down and see them
05:09They'll never find a job for anyone as incompetent as you are
05:12I am not incompetent
05:14I know what I'm doing every minute, and don't you forget it
05:17Oh, never mind that, never my job
05:19I'll take care of it
05:20Go, go, go
05:22All right
05:22Oh
05:23Knows what she's doing every minute
05:26Before we talk about your employment problems
05:40I have some background information I'd like to ask you
05:43Yes, ma'am
05:43Name?
05:46Lucille Carmichael
05:47address the Glen Hall apartment 780 North Gower Street age would you mind
05:56putting down over 21 over 21 way over education yes I'm a high school graduate
06:09and I had two years of business college almost perhaps we should give you an
06:16aptitude test to find out the type of work for which you're qualified all right
06:20now this would be a word association test I'll mention a word and then you say
06:24whatever word pops into your head mm-hmm summer winter hot cold legs walk hair
06:32dye I just used a little Hannah lift up carry grant
06:43Harry grant yeah what type of job would an answer like that qualify you for I
06:51don't know if it's nice work if you can get it I've had all kinds of answers from
06:57applicants but carry grant yeah well I wouldn't mind working for him in any
07:01capacity and you know these days he could use a babysitter say would you like to do
07:08some babysitting oh I sure would does carry grant need a babysitter no no no no
07:12this is a wonderful babysitting job I don't know why I didn't think of it
07:15before oh now there are three children and it pays five dollars per hour per
07:20child with a guarantee of three hours oh wow that's 45 dollars I'll take it well
07:28you can have it if you qualify oh well I I raised two children of my own they're
07:33away at school now oh you'll do just fine for this job thank you now the family
07:38name is Winslow mm-hmm and it's at 1711 Valley Meadow Road you'll be there at
07:43seven o'clock tonight yes ma'am I will and thank you very much you're welcome
07:56hello mrs. Winslow this is miss almond oh I have good news for you they'll be a
08:02babysitter there tonight at seven o'clock no I didn't tell her about the
08:08children I was afraid if I did she wouldn't take the job
08:16darling what time is the babysitter going to get here I told you before seven
08:21o'clock I hope this one stays long enough for us to get out of the house yes
08:26dear darling why don't we ever hire an animal trainer instead of a babysitter an
08:31animal trainer yes dear after all they are chimpanzees and chimpanzees are
08:36animals they're just as human as you are yes dear oh that must be the babysitter
08:43I'll get it I'll get it you round up the children yes dear
08:49welcome to come in thank you
08:55oh my what a lovely room well it's a little messy just now the children have
09:04been playing in here all day I understand why they certainly have a lot of nice toys oh and that
09:09wonderful tree children love to climb trees especially ours they could climb
09:14before they could walk
09:16they sound like very unusual children yes they are
09:21what are their names their names are Danny Charlie and Bobby oh how wonderful three boys
09:28no no no no Bobby is short for Roberta oh Roberta is the baby now she'll require a little extra
09:33attention of course naturally now she has to be in bed by 7 30 she sleeps here in the crib
09:39that's her nightgown the milk and the cereal over here the boys sleep back here in these bunk beds
09:45bunk beds are wonderful yes and these are their pajamas
09:51uh aren't the sleeves uh a little long
09:55no not for them
09:57now the baby likes to be rocked and sung to at bedtime do you know any lullabies
10:03uh yes uh does she like uh rockabye baby in the treetops
10:07oh she loves the part about the treetops in fact she likes all kinds of music she likes rock and roll
10:13dixieland boogie woogie well for a baby she sounds like a real swinger
10:19they're all swingers oh that's why we have the tree
10:23see I can hardly wait to meet the little darlings oh here they come now
10:29are they cute
10:54well yes they're cute all right but aren't they a little unusual looking
11:01yes they're monkeys
11:03you said that I didn't
11:05uh so that's why this babysitting job pays so well huh
11:09yes you're not gonna back out are you
11:11uh no I I can use the money
11:15good well let's get going Jonathan
11:17yes dear
11:18Mrs Carmichael
11:20good boys come along we'll be back right after the movie
11:23come on
11:33hello Bobby
11:34hello
11:36are you
11:37Charlie
11:39Danny
11:40come here Danny
11:43hello there
11:44fella
11:45hello there
11:46hey
11:47hey there fellas
11:48are you
11:59are you supposed to ride a bicycle in the house are you sure about that Charlie
12:04hey are you sure
12:10come here
12:11come here
12:12honey
12:12Charlie
12:13Charlie
12:14Charlie
12:14stop it
12:15oh boys honestly
12:18Charlie come here
12:20oh boys
12:21please stick that in your mouth
12:23will you
12:24Danny
12:25now boys
12:26you mustn't fight like this
12:28Danny
12:29sit up here in the chair
12:30yes
12:31Charlie leave him alone
12:32oh honestly
12:33do you hate that
12:35do you hate that
12:36Charlie
12:38Charlie
12:39Danny
12:40get up here in the chair
12:41let go of Charlie
12:43oh boy
12:45Danny
12:46will you get up there
12:47Charlie
12:48shame on you
12:49Charlie
12:52listen you
12:53get up there
12:55come here
12:55get up your hat
12:56get over there
12:57the table
12:58get up there
12:59the table
13:00get over there
13:00get over there in your chair
13:01just sit right down there
13:03oh
13:04Danny
13:05come over here
13:07get over there in your chair
13:09and you sit down
13:10put your hat on your head
13:11stay where you are
13:13you hear me
13:14i'm going to get to a room
13:21ya boys
13:22please stop it please
13:23here
13:24here
13:25Here, look, food, food, food, food.
13:27Oh, good heavens.
13:30I don't know if it's worth the $45.
13:33All right.
13:37Boy, you're something.
13:38You're really something.
13:40You three.
13:43All right, finish, finish, finish.
13:45Turn around, turn around.
13:46Sit up in the chair.
13:50Give me your hat on.
13:51You look better.
13:55Listen, I forgot I got a burp of you.
13:58Bobby.
14:00Bobby, you've got to be burped.
14:04Bobby, you can't break the whole thing.
14:08Bobby.
14:11Oh, boy.
14:14Bobby.
14:15Now, look, it's either you or me.
14:17Bobby.
14:18Bobby, if you don't mind, that's for the kid.
14:21This is your own.
14:23Oh.
14:24Here.
14:25Open your mouth.
14:28She's never going to let go of the bottle.
14:29I might as well give it to you.
14:32Shoo for a while.
14:35Bobby, you've got to be burped, kid.
14:36You've got to be burped.
14:37Every baby has to be burped.
14:41How is...
14:42Just a minute.
14:44Now, up you go.
14:46Oh.
14:51That's...
14:52Oh, that was a beauty.
14:53Yeah, yeah.
14:54That was a beauty.
14:55Listen, turn on the television.
14:57Turn it on.
14:58See what we got on there.
15:03Wait.
15:04Leave some.
15:04Leave some.
15:05Oh, Danny.
15:06He ate it all up.
15:07I'm sorry.
15:08I'm sorry.
15:08Oh.
15:10Do you love me?
15:12Do you love me?
15:13I love you, dear, but I can't leave my husband.
15:18Why not?
15:19Oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:20Charlie, turn it off.
15:22Turn it off, Charlie.
15:23You're too young for Peyton, Blaze.
15:24Look, you've got to go to sleep.
15:34You know, it's way past your bedtimes, too.
15:36I haven't even got the baby to sleep yet.
15:38All right, now, listen.
15:40Behave yourselves.
15:41Behave yourselves.
15:42I'm going over here and sing to the baby.
15:45Oh.
15:46Bobby, you've got to go to sleep.
15:48You've just got to go to sleep, sweetheart.
15:50You've just got to go...
15:51Boys, please.
15:52Please.
15:52Charlie, come here.
15:53Charlie, come here.
15:54Charlie, Charlie, come here.
15:57I don't want you riding that now.
15:59Come here.
16:00Now, you stay right here.
16:01Sit down.
16:02Now, just stay there for a second.
16:03You hear me?
16:04Okay.
16:04Just stay there.
16:06Rock-a-bye, baby, on the treetop
16:10When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
16:14When the bow breaks, the cradle will rock
16:17Is that a commentary on my singing?
16:24What do you mean with that?
16:26Look, a Barbra Streisand, I'm not.
16:29When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
16:33And down will come baby cradle
16:36All right, all right.
16:38You don't want me to sing, I'll play.
16:40I'll play.
16:40All right, you got it.
16:41I got your message, kid.
16:42Come on.
16:43Oh, boy.
16:46Please.
16:47Oh, come on now.
17:06All right, Charlie.
17:21You think you can do any better, you play.
17:23Bobby, I wish you'd go to sleep.
17:25Well, Charlie, that was wonderful.
17:52Oh, not gin again.
18:03Listen, all right, we've had it.
18:05Now, come on.
18:05You too, boys.
18:07Oh, fellas.
18:09Now, stop it.
18:09Oh, goodness, I never saw such goings-on.
18:14Will you stop the monkey business?
18:16Oh, watch it, Lucy.
18:17You're cracking up.
18:19All right.
18:19Can you stop it?
18:20Hey.
18:21Danny.
18:22Will you go outside, please?
18:25Danny.
18:26Charlie.
18:29Charlie.
18:30Get out there.
18:31Wash up.
18:32Go on out there.
18:32Wash up.
18:34Oh, fellas.
18:35Come here.
18:36Danny.
18:37Danny.
18:38Danny.
18:39Come here.
18:40Come here.
18:41What's the matter?
18:42Get outside.
18:43Oh, boy.
18:44Can you get outside and wash up?
18:45Charlie.
18:46Now, stop it.
18:47Come on.
18:48Get back in that bed.
18:49Huh?
18:50Get in the bed.
18:51Oh.
18:52Come on, Lucy.
18:53Come on.
18:54Get out there.
18:55Wash up.
18:56Come here, Danny.
18:57You stay down.
18:58Danny.
18:59Come here.
19:00Come here.
19:01Come here.
19:02What's the matter?
19:03Get outside.
19:04Get outside.
19:06Now, wash up.
19:09Now, you're going to bed, young lady.
19:11You're going to get right down there in that bed right now.
19:13Do you hear me?
19:14Way past your bedtime.
19:17Now, lie down.
19:21What are you doing?
19:22What?
19:23Oh.
19:26Is her saying her prayers?
19:28Oh.
19:29Oh, what a darling little baby.
19:33She said her prayers.
19:34Yeah.
19:35She said her prayers.
19:36Yeah.
19:37She said her prayers.
19:38Yeah.
19:39She said her prayers.
19:40Yeah.
19:41She said her prayers.
19:42Now, all the things.
19:47Oh, you all just got the baby down.
19:49What a time to play.
19:51Cowboys, it's Indian fellas.
19:53And it's just too big.
19:55Oh, honey.
19:57Boys, please.
19:59Come on now.
20:00Please.
20:01Danny.
20:02Charlie.
20:03Get down on that tree.
20:04Get down on that tree.
20:05Charlie.
20:06Charlie, for heaven's sake.
20:08You've got to go to bed.
20:09Do you understand?
20:10Danny.
20:11Come here.
20:12Charlie, get down on that tree.
20:13Charlie, come here.
20:14Charlie, get down on that tree.
20:15Do you hear me?
20:16You've got to go to bed.
20:17I've got to go.
20:18Charlie, come here.
20:20Charlie, come here.
20:22Charlie, come here.
20:24Come on, Charlie.
20:28No, Danny, you don't sleep in this bed.
20:33You don't sleep in this bed.
20:34Don't! Charlie, will you get out of the tree?
20:37Charlie! Danny, come with me. Come on now.
20:41Don't sleep in this bed.
20:43Honestly, I'll go with the baby.
20:49Charlie, will you get down out of that tree?
20:51You've got to go to bed.
20:53Now, come on. Come on now.
20:56Charlie. Charlie, please get down out of the tree.
21:01You've got to go to bed.
21:10What are you doing there?
21:16Oh, I'm sorry. I tried to get them to bed.
21:19Don't apologize. You're better than any babysitter we've had.
21:23You're still here.
21:24Yes, you're still here.
21:26As a matter of fact, I want my sister to meet you.
21:29She's having a lot of trouble getting a sitter for her baby.
21:32Oh, is her baby a monkey, too?
21:35Of course not.
21:36You can see for yourself.
21:37Hey, sis. Come on in.
21:39Bring the baby with you.
21:47Hi, boy. How are you?
21:49In the dark days I've never seen it.
21:50Let's go.
21:51Sit down!
21:52What are you doing?
21:53Hey, I'm $10,000!
21:54I'm $10,000!
21:56You're $1,000!
21:57You're $11,000!
21:58You're $10,000!
21:59You're $10,000!
21:59I'm $3,000!
22:00I'm $35,000!
22:02The End
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