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00:00You know who you've got in your team, don't you? You've got Russell Brand.
00:04Who's that? He's a presenter. He's got long hair.
00:07He's a former drug addict, sex addict. He's a lot of fun.
00:11Laugh a minute, yeah. No, no, he's really funny. Hey, hey.
00:14Do you know Russell Brand? Yeah, smack it.
00:17Are you reeling in the years? Stowing away the time?
00:23Are you gathering at the tears? Have you had enough of mine?
00:30Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?
00:36Hello, and welcome to Annually Retentive. I am Rob Brydon.
00:43Hi, Sara. Hi, Sara.
00:46You've been talking on the phone. Lovely to meet you in the...
00:49You're so beautiful.
00:51Thank you. I'm just going to take you to your...
00:53I just saw your bottom there inadvertently.
00:56I didn't mean to. It's just an act. It's biological evolution. I could never look.
00:59I'm de-augulating. No, not at the moment. Just get that anguish in.
01:02I'm just going to... I'm just a bit flushed.
01:05I like your gloves. Thank you very much. You know they're handy.
01:08Russell Brand!
01:10Drug addict. Well, was a drug addict.
01:12Probably still is. No, isn't it?
01:14Well, of course he's going to say he's clean, isn't he?
01:16You're not going to go, oh, I've still got a problem. Can I have a job?
01:18And comedian, actor and host of BBC Four's The Late Edition.
01:24Marcus Bridgestock.
01:26It's Bridgestock and it's no.
01:28It's Bridgestock. Yeah.
01:30And it's no. Yeah.
01:32Because he's... I mean, do you...
01:34He's not funny enough to...
01:35Well, he is funny. He's very funny.
01:37He's done If I Got News For You now, so his profile...
01:39Well, tons of people have done If I Got News For You.
01:41Yeah. Have you?
01:42No, but I've been asked.
01:45Really?
01:47Have you ever watched anything?
01:49Well, I have worked before.
01:51Yeah.
01:52There is some demand for me.
01:54Yes, of course, I know.
01:55But were you asked to do...
01:56Yes, I just said I was asked.
01:58If I was going to make something up, I would make up that I'm a crime fighter and I have a costume and I go out at night.
02:04I would not make up that I've been asked to do Have I Got News For You.
02:07Okay, why did you say no?
02:09Because I don't know anything about politics, okay? Fine, there, said it.
02:12Oh, that's a great guest.
02:16So now we're getting guests from BBC Four.
02:19Yeah, as opposed to BBC Three, brother.
02:24Yes, which is one up from Four. Your point?
02:27They're both cable channels. What's your point?
02:30Four is further down the scale than Three. Three is better than Four.
02:34Yeah.
02:35But Four is more your demographic, your middle-class demographic that you keep banging on about.
02:41Joining Dave, actress, TV presenter and woman of my dreams, Josie Darby.
02:50What do you think? Have her on Jane's team or Dave's? Because Jane isn't...
02:55I want to think of how she's going to be looking at me. What would you say was my better side?
03:00Right, ready? That one's possibly a little bit better than...
03:04This better? So if she's sitting there, that is Dave's team. Put her on Dave's team.
03:09Dave's team. Yes, I wanted to see this.
03:14That's a cast-iron show business rule. The higher the number after the channel, the lower the audience figures.
03:22Channel Five gets a smaller audience, though, than Channel Four.
03:26That's my point. The higher the number, the lower the audience figures.
03:30Me and you both, mate.
03:31But is it a bad thing to get a higher calibre of channel rather than an audience?
03:36Is it just about the numbers, though, Rob?
03:38I just don't think it matters. Marcus Briggsop's a good guess.
03:40Exactly.
03:41He's hosted if I've got news for you, Rob.
03:42Yeah, whoopee-doo.
03:43And comedian, actor and the taller, blonder, better-looking half of Peep Show, Robert Webb.
03:50Rob?
03:51Rob?
03:52I'm listening.
03:53Robert Webb. I mean, he's part of Peep Show. It's a multi-award-winning show on Channel Five.
03:57I have won awards, OK? This whole award, you act like I've never won. I'm getting an award this week. Yes, yes.
04:04What?
04:05Look at the disbelief in his face.
04:07I'm surprised.
04:08I am going back to my school to be given a great...
04:13Sorry, good.
04:14...to be given an honour, to be honoured for what I've achieved.
04:18James Russell and Marcus, here is your picture.
04:23Right.
04:24Marathon runners blank, blank, blank.
04:26Hung like a horse.
04:27Now, I know that's a knob gag, but it's a more subtle knob gag, isn't it?
04:30Well, that's good, cos there is a horse, so that would be...
04:32Yeah.
04:33Will you remember to say that? That would be brilliant.
04:34Yeah.
04:35Great.
04:36Marathon runners hung like a horse.
04:38Ooh.
04:39Well, it's a lovely thought.
04:40Um...
04:41Marathon runner in stable relationship, something like that.
04:44That's really good. Do you want me to get them put on a card for you?
04:47No, I think I... it's within my capabilities to remember them.
04:50Yeah, so I'm not being... I'm not being... I'm not being...
04:52You are a little bit.
04:53Marathon runners in stable relationship.
04:56Ooh, I like that. That's fair. That's very good.
04:59What about the comedians on the team? Anything from you guys?
05:03He'll do the same thing he always does.
05:05He sits there all quiet, you know, looking like, all sullen, like that.
05:08And then all of a sudden he'll come out.
05:10Ooh, and his little Kenneth Williams, you'll see, like that.
05:12Ooh, but a very sexy Kenneth Williams.
05:14Words will start tumbling, falling, sprawling and crawling.
05:18And a Dickensian, then he'll probably stand up.
05:20And he'll move his arms around like that.
05:21Ooh, he's talking a bit like that.
05:22And they're coming out of little alleyways and beckoning you in with their finger.
05:25Mysterious words, strange words.
05:27Ooh, hello, me love.
05:28He does that every time. He's very predictable.
05:31But people like him, you know, girls like him.
05:33Do you find him attractive?
05:35Very.
05:36Very.
05:37Are you all right?
05:38Yeah, I'm quite well, thank you, yeah.
05:39Are you enjoying it?
05:40Yeah, it's a nice evening, isn't it, really?
05:41I gave you a hell of an introduction.
05:43It was a lovely introduction.
05:44Well, live up to it.
05:45Um...
05:48It's Russell Brand!
05:51Look at that.
05:52Ooh.
05:53Hey.
05:54Hello.
05:55Mark, look, come here.
05:56Look at this.
05:57Look, look at this, for God's sake.
05:59You make me look like a 40-year-old man.
06:02I think you look very dishy, Rob.
06:06Oh, he's flirting with me.
06:08Marathon runners astonished to learn that one day other marathon runners will defecate publicly.
06:15In a reference to Paula Radcliffe, you see.
06:17Ah, I see where you're going with that, Russell.
06:19Yes, but what I would pick you up on is the number of words.
06:23I thought perhaps it was a smaller font and it could be...
06:27Because he wears a t-shirt and jeans, he's a heroin addict.
06:30Well, as weird as that sounds, it certainly makes it more likely.
06:36Yes.
06:37How many heroin addicts do you know wear a nice suit and a shirt?
06:41I'm sure they're out there.
06:43Far more are in t-shirts and jeans.
06:45If you did a study, if you took all the heroin addicts in Britain
06:48and you divided them into people in nice suits and people in t-shirts and jeans,
06:52you'd have tonnes as well.
06:53It stands to reason they spent their money on the drug.
06:56They can't afford a nice suit.
06:58A nice suit, yeah.
06:59They probably sold their suit to pay for the pop, the pap, the pip, whatever they call it now.
07:04Marathon runners have always dressed like wankers.
07:09I should say they're all doing great work for charity and raising a lot of money.
07:14Dressed like wankers? It's all part of the sponsorship, isn't it?
07:17Some of us dress like a wanker and don't earn anything for charity.
07:22Oh, sorry, that was really rude. Sorry, Marcus.
07:25Let's get Marcus on.
07:26He'll probably come on dressed very conservatively
07:28and then say something a little bit risque.
07:31That's what he does, OK?
07:33Looks like a geography teacher, says something risque.
07:36It's a one-note joke.
07:37I've come as a paedophile.
07:39Not a wanker.
07:41It's not the same thing at all.
07:46A wanker's not really a danger to society, it's often a danger to himself.
07:51I would just say that the two ladies and gentlemen
07:53who are laughing uproariously at me at the last recording,
07:56there's a frown come over their faces.
07:58Yeah, because they think I'm going to expose them.
08:01They're in my ring.
08:03Hello!
08:05Thanks for the pictures.
08:10What am I doing?
08:12I'm not a nob.
08:15I don't want to come across as arrogant,
08:18but I have to say, I think this show is beneath me.
08:22Beneath you?
08:23And that's not true of all panel shows.
08:25When I did QI, I didn't feel that.
08:27Well, why didn't you feel that way with QI?
08:29Stephen Fry.
08:30Stephen Fry?
08:31Stephen Fry?
08:32Well, this show is beneath Stephen Fry.
08:34Yes, that's what I'm saying.
08:35That's my point.
08:36This show is way beneath Stephen Fry.
08:38It's a step up for you, but it's way below Stephen Fry.
08:42Stephen Fry, you.
08:44Show.
08:46Barathon runners share first place.
08:49American Dick Beardsley.
08:51Wow.
08:52And...
08:53Imagine taking him home to meet your mother.
08:56Are you wearing that top on the show because I can see your boob a bit?
08:59Oh, I'm sorry.
09:00That's all right.
09:01That's my nod.
09:02Just through there.
09:03I wasn't going to say anything.
09:04Yeah, you've got an obligation.
09:05There's a social obligation.
09:06If you can see someone's boob or a bogey on someone's nose, you should say that.
09:09So you're sitting that side of me on the show, so you won't be able to see your boob.
09:12I just have a profile of your bosom.
09:14I went to the dentist and I had a bogey dried in my nose and the dentist let me go all the way through the appointment.
09:19And I was really sort of talking about my career and how well things are going.
09:22And the whole way through I had some dry bogey.
09:24It's not a good look, is it?
09:25Confident.
09:26No, no.
09:27It really undermined me.
09:29There she is, Her Majesty, our leader.
09:32Is it six paparazzi shrunk by Queen?
09:35Ooh, I like that.
09:36It's brilliant.
09:37It's six hours you have to wait and you can still talk to the hat, Snigger's wicked Queen.
09:45We thought six inches pleases the Queen.
09:48It's quite funny.
09:49Which is another knob gag.
09:50I just think, because if you said that on set, then you could get into the whole numbers thing.
09:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fuck with the numbers thing.
09:57I am not saying six inches pleases the Queen.
10:00Six inches pleases the Queen.
10:08What do you think of this?
10:12Oh, they like this back in Skiathos.
10:16Luke, it's got a slanty eye.
10:21He said it first.
10:23See, I liked you when you were a paedophile.
10:28Now you're a racist paedophile.
10:29I must be sure.
10:31How to win Friends in Equals.
10:34Is he got the costume I really like?
10:35It's not the paedophile jumper and shirt, it's the paedophile face you've used as well.
10:38It's a really lovely detail.
10:40If nothing else comes from tonight, Marcus, at least you'll know you've ended up on the register.
10:44How many people around this table have schools who have gone to the trouble of funding them saying, look.
10:50I've got a swimming certificate.
10:52Yeah, again, that's very funny, thank you.
10:54But seriously, how many of you have been honoured by your schools?
10:59Mr John, hello.
11:00Oh, Lord, what an honour and a privilege, Robert.
11:05Have you?
11:06Yeah.
11:07Went back to school, did an assembly, handed out awards at assembly to children.
11:11In more of a sort of crime prevention sense, though?
11:15No.
11:16Cos he's black?
11:18Yeah.
11:19Nice.
11:20No, it's nice.
11:21No, it's nice.
11:22No, it's a fact.
11:23It's not a fact.
11:24You are black, it's a fact.
11:25Yes, that's a fact.
11:26You haven't been blacking up, have you?
11:27Cos if you have, I mean, all credit to you for effort.
11:30You were playing the leading daffodil in the St David's Day concert.
11:35You were stunning.
11:36You were absolutely stunning.
11:39Before we show any more disrespect to our royals, let me say the answer...
11:44I know the answer.
11:45What?
11:46Too late, he's coming in.
11:47He's coming in.
11:48Er, six blanks fired at Queen.
11:50Is exactly right.
11:51Yeah.
11:57Six blanks fired at Queen.
11:59On June 13th, 1981, 17-year-old Marcus Briggs, Marcus Sargent,
12:05was arrested for shooting a replica gun at the Queen.
12:09The Queen was shaken but unharmed and managed to calm her startled horse.
12:15Calm down, Camilla.
12:21How can you say this show is doing you badly?
12:23You're winning awards.
12:24Yes.
12:25I'm being honoured by my school, of which I am very proud.
12:28But that is for my work up to this point.
12:31They've not seen this show.
12:32If they saw this show, they would take it back.
12:35Anyway, look, I've got to go and be bestowed with an honour.
12:41But let's have a chat.
12:42I haven't asked anything about my family or anything.
12:44You've just stood there and you're off now.
12:46Are you after your...
12:47No, not at all. How is...
12:48Morag.
12:49Morag.
12:50Morag.
12:51She's gone.
12:53Yeah.
12:54Oh, sorry.
12:55Westwood was shot in a drive-by, which I suspect, given that he is the son of a bishop,
13:01he actually paid for himself to get credibility with the ute.
13:06Okay, what about Julio?
13:11Them's both goalkeepers.
13:13You're telling me that Julio and the Pope were goalkeepers?
13:18Yes.
13:19Yeah.
13:20The real link is that Tim Westwood plays hip-hop and is a disc jockey.
13:26Pope John Paul II ran a club every Thursday night in the Vatican City,
13:33where he would play fusion, garage, drum and bass.
13:38And have the Pope and Julio, they've both slept with 3,000 women?
13:41Excuse me, Julio?
13:43Who do you write for, the son?
13:46Sorry, Julio?
13:48In fact, they're right.
13:49The link between Julio Iglesias and the Pope is goalkeeping.
13:52Back in the 60s, before he found musical success, Julio played in goal for Real Madrid.
13:57As a young man, the Pope was also a keen footballer and played in goal for his school in southern Poland.
14:02Apparently, he was very good on crosses.
14:05Very good.
14:06Angus Deaton.
14:07That would be very hurtful to ask a bloke who's had his own panel show.
14:11That would be very cruel.
14:12Try him.
14:13Try him.
14:14Give him a call.
14:15Okay.
14:19Okay, it's snooker.
14:20This is good.
14:21This is good.
14:22Oh, it's not snooker.
14:23It's, er...
14:24Oh, it's assassination.
14:26Someone was assassinated.
14:28How about that, eh?
14:30Dave Gorman.
14:33Okay, but Joseph...
14:37Who's being shot?
14:38We don't know.
14:39It was a religious man.
14:40He was feeling even more holy afterwards.
14:42I said it was the Pope!
14:44It was the Pope!
14:45It was the Pope!
14:46Is it the right answer?
14:47Yes, yes.
14:48Thank you guys.
14:49Good luck.
14:50Let's all have a good laugh remembering the time that Pope John Paul II was shot.
14:55He wasn't killed.
14:56He wasn't allowed to laugh.
14:57No, he wasn't allowed to laugh.
14:58No, he wasn't allowed to laugh.
14:59I had 25 years to go of threatening homosexuals.
15:01It was fine.
15:04All right.
15:07And you had, er...
15:09Two...
15:10Yeah, you got it.
15:11Two kids.
15:12Two sons.
15:13Two sons, yeah.
15:14How are they?
15:15Both at university, thank you very much.
15:16Good, good.
15:17What, like their dad?
15:18Academic?
15:19That's right, a bit of an academic, yeah.
15:20What are they reading?
15:21Pardon?
15:22What do you mean, what are they reading?
15:23Sorry, what are they reading at university?
15:25I don't understand why you want to know what they're reading.
15:27I mean, why would you want to know what they're reading?
15:29What?
15:30Sorry, I'm just...
15:31No, I don't mean to upset you either, Robert.
15:33No, I'm just...
15:34I'm on all kinds of medication, up and down like a yo-yo, you know.
15:37The doctors put me on it.
15:38I bet show business has that sort of effect on you as well, isn't it, really?
15:42You must, er...
15:43Up to a point.
15:44The Pope was shot four times on May the 13th, 1981.
15:48Once at nine o'clock, twice at eleven.
15:50That's a hell of a day.
15:52Er...
15:53He hasn't worked with Robert on the comedy circuit, but you must have done, surely.
15:56Yeah, yeah.
15:57I did a television programme with him, Cruise of the Gods it was called.
16:00He was, er...
16:02Having his way with lots of girls on the boat.
16:04Sort of filming on a cruise ship, him and Coogan.
16:06And I, like, sort of slept with a few girls, there was dancers on the boat.
16:09One of whom I quite liked, and he, er...
16:11I don't know, he doesn't know, but I...
16:13I was the one who got him, er...
16:15Sent home, as it were.
16:17We went to Athens, and I sort of got in a fight in a lap dancing club.
16:20I took Rob, in fact.
16:21I think to this day, he hasn't worked out if it was me that got him sacked.
16:24I don't think he contributed to me getting sacked.
16:26It wasn't a big part, and it hasn't held him back, he's doing very well now.
16:29Yeah, he's doing really well.
16:30Really well, despite you.
16:32So it was like that ultra-violet light, and he had, you know, sort of...
16:36It showed up a lot of...
16:37Did it show up his caps as well on his teeth?
16:39Yeah, yeah.
16:40Yeah, yeah.
16:41Yeah, yeah.
16:42He was very effervescent, glowing, and there's a highly illuminated man in that kind of environment,
16:48almost opposite to how he's on screen.
16:50Have a sense of fun with it, Russell.
16:51Enjoy it.
16:52Enjoy it.
16:53What I'm worried about is that Marcus will interpret it somehow as being sexual.
16:57Do you remember Paul Evans?
17:00Yes.
17:01Killed his neighbour's dog.
17:03I think we need complicity, Jane, for this piece, and we must work together.
17:08Um, OK, and I'm not confident enough to do it in mine, but because language is a useful
17:13way to communicate ideas, as has been proven time and time again.
17:17Except in Wales.
17:19Yes, yes.
17:20There it communicates saliva and unrest.
17:24Sorry, Rob.
17:26Robert.
17:28It's really nice to see you.
17:30Really good to see you.
17:31Can't you, yes.
17:32Oh, it's the hug, do we?
17:34Gosh, I'm looking for...
17:35Oh, right.
17:36Good to see you.
17:37Oh, it's lovely.
17:38Lovely.
17:39Well, I better go.
17:40Look after yourself now.
17:41Good.
17:43Thank you very much.
17:44You go, my man.
17:45Meet your people.
17:46Nice to see you.
17:47Yes.
17:48Bye-bye.
17:49Bye-bye.
17:50Bastard.
17:51Go on!
17:52F it all.
17:54I'll bring it down, I will, with my rage.
17:57But first...
17:58Hang on a minute, hang on a minute.
17:59Before you guess, I want to see what James is going to do.
18:00But first, let's go and see the Kaiser Chiefs at the Academy. If they were around then.
18:13I think it is the Brixton Riots.
18:16Is the right answer.
18:17Yes.
18:18Yes.
18:19Yes.
18:20Brad.
18:21Yeah.
18:22Surfing Brad.
18:23Surfing Brad, is it?
18:24Still surfing?
18:25Still surfing, yeah.
18:26How about you?
18:27You still doing your, um, the acting lark?
18:29Yes.
18:30Oh, yeah?
18:31Yes.
18:32How's it going?
18:33Well, very well.
18:35Is it?
18:36Russell, you took part in the May Day Riots.
18:40Yes.
18:41Why?
18:42I contributed to it.
18:43Ah, it was, I thought, you know, it would instigate some social change if I...
18:47What happened was, I got into a police van without any clothes, and I was later arrested
18:52for indecent exposure and criminal damage, Rob.
18:55Can I ask, what did you do the criminal damage with, given that you were naked at the time?
19:01It wasn't my genitalia.
19:03I thought that would have been ineffective, because at that time I was a drug addict,
19:06and my genitals were retained within my abdomen.
19:09I could have just caused friction on a roof.
19:13With a nub.
19:14Is that...
19:15Is that what happened, sir?
19:16Russell, Russell, Russell, they're not happy.
19:17Sorry.
19:18Sorry.
19:19Have you drunk use?
19:22The entire loss withdrawn, making you effectively smooth like an action man.
19:26Yes, yes.
19:27I tried surfing.
19:28I was in Australia last year, and I had a lesson, and I actually found it exhausting,
19:32because the arms go, don't they?
19:34Yeah.
19:35I'm not being rude here, but if you don't mind me saying, you lack upper body authority.
19:39See, and your hands, your hands are tiny.
19:42It gives you many of action man's other abilities.
19:44A switch appeared at the back of my skull, and a panoramic vision.
19:48Yeah.
19:49Wow.
19:50You say panoramic, Russell, if in my memory his vision went like this.
19:56It's not a kind of panorama for a man.
19:58Is it?
19:59What sort of panorama is that for a man?
20:00No kind.
20:01Hey, what man should endure that sort of panorama, I ask you, eh?
20:04Certainly not an action man, Russell.
20:06No, he'll be an inactive man, wouldn't he, Russell?
20:08Almost a cripple.
20:09Wouldn't he?
20:10Help me, help me, help me.
20:12Oh, I'm sorry.
20:15Oh, I'm very, very sorry.
20:19You see what you've done now?
20:21I didn't mean that to happen.
20:22Isn't it ironic that action man has no genitals, and so will see no action?
20:27Yeah, but the thing is, Rob, what you're going to have is, if you're going to surf,
20:31put your foot forward, right at the front of the board, right, point it, point it,
20:36and get this one back.
20:38That's it.
20:39Right?
20:40And then get your low centre of gravity to go right down, right down.
20:43You've got to go, that's it, that's it, and now stretch your arms out.
20:46No, no, there.
20:48But you see...
20:49Oi!
20:50Sorry.
20:51At the end of a sterling round that surely has set the template for any other panel show
20:57that might be thinking of mounting an assault on us.
21:00Oh, what the hell am I saying?
21:03He stopped riffing.
21:05All right, go back to the...
21:08Are you enjoying the show, ladies and gentlemen?
21:11Yes.
21:12That's it.
21:13Keep your strength up, keep the blood sugar levels up.
21:16Did they give you chocolate in the break?
21:18Yes.
21:19Did any of you check the best before date?
21:26Yes.
21:27It'll start to prey on you in about four hours, I think.
21:30So will I.
21:32I know it's got into your mind, it's getting laughs, but is it really the kind of thing you want to be doing?
21:45We've all been there.
21:46Is it the right laugh?
21:47Yeah.
21:48But hey, a laugh's a laugh.
21:50I don't know why.
21:51We've got some applause.
21:53That's it, I'm afraid.
21:56Totting up the scores at the end of the show, this week's frustrated Ultravoxes are Dave, Robert and Josie.
22:04This week's triumphant Joe Dolces are Jane, Russell and Marcus.
22:09And Marcus!
22:10APPLAUSE
22:13John Bird.
22:14John Bert?
22:16Bird?
22:17Bird.
22:18Bird.
22:19John Bird?
22:20Bird.
22:21John Bird.
22:22Bird.
22:23Burt?
22:24John Bert?
22:25What?
22:26John Bird?
22:27John Bird.
22:28Who are you saying?
22:29Bird.
22:30Bird.
22:31What?
22:32John Bird.
22:33John Bird.
22:34Are you saying Burt or Bird?
22:36I'm saying John Burt, okay. I'm saying John bird with a T or a D at the end and D
22:41You're making it sound like a tea. I'm not John bird
22:44You could be booking completely different people who I think you are on you
22:47I'll excuse it up to a point with the Irish thing, but you're gonna have to enunciate large group of evil American
22:54bastards laugh like bastards
23:00Sitting on the fence there as ever
23:02Dave's team. What have you got? Oh, just be something simple like one of them is we just come in
23:06We don't know quite what's been said so far, but one of the men it's a no nurse. I said prick is boiled
23:13James James Baker
23:16Josie's on a satellite delay
23:20I don't think they call me. We've always got that cool. We've always got and he's doing well
23:25If you like that sort of thing yes, well, who do you like?
23:28Yeah, Stephen Fry. Yeah, he's we've already discussed that. He's not gonna do the gig
23:33You didn't ask me who's into the gig you asked me who do I like okay?
23:35I told you you like who would you like to do the show?
23:37Who would I like really show Stephen Fry really?
23:40Yeah, exactly the point you won't do the gig
23:42No, you asked me who I would like to do the show
23:44You want to know who Robin Williams as well. Well, we're at it
23:46Yes, I want to know who the who's who we would like to do the show. Yeah, whatever you want to read it to them
23:50This is who we'd like right here. We go Terry Wogan. Why is Wogan not doing it? Yeah, where's Wogan?
23:56Danny Wogan got you Rob. Boris Johnson. Boris Johnson. Boris Johnson. Why haven't we got Boris Johnson?
24:01He's busy being a politician. Louis Theroux I would like to have on
24:05Jeremy Paxman I would like to have on
24:08These are cultured intelligent people while Alex Higgins shares a champagne bath with his trophy wife
24:14It's good very good very good. Thank you Robert for that approval. It's good. Thank you
24:23Steve Davis goes along with photographers wacky idea in a way that cheapens us all
24:28It's just a funny image it made us all laugh when we saw it on the yeah, but you can't be funny about funny, so
24:34It's a funny image if you want a caption to it you need have you I mean have you come up with something or the right is it?
24:40Honestly, they're working on this one at the moment, okay, but we it feels like a very rich area, so I'm sure something when you have nothing
24:48Well personally, I mean I'd it. I mean it looks a bit like he's that's his penis or something like an erection
24:54So maybe some sort of do you think I don't know what's going to do a nod back
24:58I don't know. I'm not touching it Paul Daniels shocks his middle-of-the-road audience by turning Steve Davis his penis into a trophy
25:04Well, I was on a similar line. I was gonna say Davis douses cup-shaped knob
25:12Simon peg
25:14multi-award winning
25:16Well, I just say it like that would you multi you I'm I've won awards don't say it like he's won awards and you haven't I didn't know
25:23I thought well, I knew you've been nominated. I didn't realize I'm getting an award this week. What's it for? I'm being honored by my school
25:29Oh
25:31No, not. Oh, but oh well done. It's not sweet. It's a bloody achievement. Have you been honored by your school?
25:38Well, no, of course not right, but do you mean of course not exactly because most people don't I am I'm I'm getting an award for
25:44For everything I've achieved. Oh
25:46It's the headmaster of my old school could see you go
25:50Oh, but it's not meant to be sweet. It's meant to be something that you you you you
25:55What is there a little ceremony?
25:59Parents friends staff and students
26:01It's that time again when we honor those children who we hope are going to go forward and follow their ambitions
26:07Yes, they have no bloody thing. They they're doing the whole thing. I've got to go down there
26:11They they're doing a big thing. They're making a big effort as always we've invited back an ex pupil was followed his dreams
26:18And achieved enormous success of which I'm sure you're all aware
26:22Whilst his life may appear glamorous
26:24He'd he'd be the first to tell you there's the result of long hard work
26:29sustained effort and dedication
26:33And I'm all because I've done quite well. Yes. Oh
26:37He's now Wales most successful
26:41Exporter of surfing snowboarding and indoor climbing equipment. Please welcome Bradley Hopkins
26:52Thanks
26:54Thanks to you at home for watching. I'm Rob Brydon and I was annually retentive. Good night
26:59I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of the book. I'm a fan of
27:29Pute says no
27:36I'm really gay in the village
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