- 5 months ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh, yes, we'll have two sirloin steaks, thank you, Michael.
00:10Make them biggons, mate.
00:11Yes, that's right, as Jumbo says, make them biggons.
00:15Saute potatoes, a selection of greens.
00:18And put the whole thing on my account, will you, Michael?
00:21What account?
00:24What account?
00:25See what I mean?
00:26Jumbo, the old place, hasn't lost its sense of humour.
00:30I wouldn't laugh if a barman made a burke of me.
00:32Barman? Now, just you listen here, pal.
00:34Michael, Jumbo did not mean any offence.
00:38Shall we sit down over here?
00:41Hey, mate, do you know this policy got a music licence?
00:45Still, as long as it's him playing, there's no problem, eh?
00:50Who's the big mouth Ozzy, Mike?
00:52Oh, he's no Australian. He used to be a local lad, didn't he? Then he immigrated.
00:56Well, that was a bit of luck, wasn't it?
00:57Yeah.
00:58So what's he doing back?
01:00I don't know, buying cars off Boisey or something.
01:02Oh, there you are, you mucky old sod.
01:05Have you seen the state of my Persian rug back in the flat?
01:08Now, you run the J. Edgar over it as soon as you get back.
01:11Blimey, you should sit in.
01:12Give me Manhattan, will you, Mike?
01:15Small rum for him.
01:16Spit in the rum.
01:16Where's Rodney?
01:19Rodney, I left him down, clearing up the market.
01:21Here.
01:21Some boost you'd had a go at me.
01:23Hey, had a go at you?
01:24Yeah.
01:24Who had a go at you?
01:25Where?
01:25Him.
01:26Took the mickey out of my piano plane.
01:28Yeah, well, you ought to be used to that by now, but...
01:29I'll sort him out.
01:31You stay here.
01:32I'll sort you out and all later.
01:33Right, here.
01:34Excuse me, pal.
01:35Do you...
01:35I don't believe it.
01:37I don't believe it.
01:38Jumbo, bloody mills.
01:40Who let you back in the country?
01:41Look at this, will you?
01:43Talk about a bad penny.
01:45Tell boy, how you doing, mate?
01:46I'm all right, mate.
01:47All right, mate.
01:47It's sad.
01:48You're looking double well.
01:49That's because I live in a healthy country.
01:51No fog or frost in us, mate.
01:52Oh, it's great.
01:53It suits you.
01:54It suits you.
01:54Look at all that, eh?
01:55Hey, tell me.
01:56What are you doing back home, then, eh?
01:58Derek, Jumbo and I are having a business meeting.
02:01It's all rather confidential.
02:03I've no secrets from Del.
02:05Me and him were partners back in the 60s.
02:07That's right, that's right.
02:08We used to have a fish stall right outside the pub here, didn't we?
02:11Yes, I remember.
02:12Huh?
02:13Yeah.
02:13Cool.
02:13Those were the days, though, weren't they, eh?
02:14Those were the days.
02:16How long are you back home for him?
02:17Well, it's just a week or so.
02:18In fact, I'm just here to finalise a deal with Boyce.
02:20He's taken a bit of sightseeing.
02:22Oh, I wish to God I hadn't bothered.
02:24This country has become a cesspit, Del.
02:26Aha!
02:27You're right there, Jumbo.
02:29Cesspit?
02:29What do you mean, cesspit?
02:30You could find cleaner places in an avos armpit.
02:33Ah!
02:37I'll tell you what, though, Jumbo.
02:39You can't tell.
02:39That's a wig.
02:40Aha!
02:41That's because it's not a wig.
02:46Oh, do me a favour.
02:47You used to have curly hair.
02:49Now, come on.
02:50But that is a syrup, isn't it, eh?
02:52I can't say ain't a syrup.
02:55Look, I've got a tannery here that says that is a syrup.
02:58Oh, no.
02:59I have got a tannery here that says it ain't.
03:02All right, go on.
03:03Cover that, then, boys.
03:03Now, listen.
03:04I'll tell you why I know that.
03:06Eh?
03:06What?
03:06Sorry.
03:07Is that your change over there?
03:08Thank you very much.
03:13What the...
03:13Wait a minute.
03:14How do you think you'll play in there?
03:15I don't believe you sometimes, Del.
03:17Here am I trying to clinch a business deal.
03:19And you've nicked my client's wig.
03:23Well, you know, it was for a fact, wouldn't you understand, don't you, Jumbo, eh?
03:25Oh, I bloody well don't.
03:28Jeez.
03:30You always liked embarrassing me, didn't you?
03:32No.
03:33Look, chaps, this is just a temporary condition.
03:37And my doctors have assured me that me own hair will grow back, well, eventually.
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:43Hey, our gents.
03:44Oh.
03:44Where's the loudmouth Aussie gone?
03:47Put this stuff on the table and leave us alone, mate.
03:51Now, just a minute.
03:51Oh, just a minute.
03:52All right, mate.
03:52Mate, mate, mate, it's all right.
03:53Don't leave him alone.
03:54He's all right.
03:54Don't be.
03:54Go on.
03:55Go on.
03:55No, he's a nice bloke.
03:57He really is a nice bloke.
03:58Oh, yeah, yeah.
03:59Typical breast.
03:59The only thing that works is the mouth.
04:02Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
04:04Oh, sorry.
04:08All right.
04:09Del, I'm trying to have a business meeting.
04:12Do you mind?
04:12All right, all right.
04:13All right, listen, I'll tell you what.
04:14You enjoy your nosh.
04:15I'll see you later.
04:15Yeah, look, I've got to talk to you, Del.
04:17All right, yeah, anytime, anytime.
04:18Yeah, okay.
04:19Sorry, the one you over there, is it?
04:20Yeah, thanks a lot, boys.
04:21See you.
04:24He seems a nasty bit of work.
04:26Oh, Jumbo, no.
04:28No, that's just the way he is, that's all.
04:29He's got a gold, that bloke.
04:31His trouble is that his mouth is always three seconds ahead of his brain.
04:34I'll tell you what.
04:35I'll tell you what.
04:36He is a diamond, that bloke.
04:37No, I'll tell you what.
04:38He's never cheated me.
04:39He's straight as a die.
04:40Real diamond.
04:41We import and export licences, what we looked after by my people.
04:46It'll only take a couple of weeks.
04:48Yeah, yeah.
04:49Look, boys, see, I'm sorry, but I can't concentrate with that, that too.
04:53But I feel naked.
04:54I'll just pop to the gents and put it back.
04:56Of course, Jumbo, I fully understand.
04:58Jumbo, I want to work with you.
05:00Ah, Jumbo, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, Jumbo, do you remember
05:03that horrible little kid brother of mine, you know, one with a funny haircut, all snot
05:07and marmite?
05:08Yeah, I remember.
05:11It's him, eh?
05:12It's him, eh?
05:13You ain't changed a bit, Rodney.
05:17He said he changed a bit.
05:19You remember any old Jumbo Mills, remember?
05:21No, no, of course you wouldn't, because she's the only little sprog when he emigrated to
05:24Australia, but look, he's done well for himself, anyway, look.
05:27You can say that again, mate.
05:28Best thing I ever did was getting out of this dump.
05:31Of course, now I'm a major shareholder in an office cleaning company, got a chain of fast
05:35food restaurants, and I'm just going into the automobile trade.
05:38Last year, Del, I bought this apartment overlooking Sydney Harbour.
05:42Half a million dollars.
05:44Architect-designed interior right down to the mirrored ceiling in the bedroom.
05:49Mirrored ceiling?
05:52No, no, no, no, no.
05:53It's purely decorational.
05:54Oh, I mean, I wouldn't use it for anything long.
05:56Yeah.
06:00Well, he wouldn't use you to comb your hair, would you?
06:05You think I'm bald, don't you?
06:08Uh, well, it had crossed my mind.
06:12Well, I'm not.
06:13Well, that's a hell of a parting you've got here, son.
06:18What I mean is, I am not naturally bald.
06:21Oh, you mean you pay someone to do that?
06:24What I mean, Rodney, is that this is the result of a nervous disorder, and my doctors have
06:32assured me that my own hair will grow back at any time now.
06:35Yeah, trouble is, you told him that 15 years ago.
06:38No, listen, he don't really, he's only one of you.
06:40All right, well, see you about eight o'clock.
06:42Yeah, all right, mate, see you later, yeah.
06:43Come on then, Rodney, have a drink up, we've got work to do.
06:45Here, did you clear up the other market?
06:46Yes, I did.
06:47That's what I want to talk to you about.
06:48What's that?
06:49How long have I been a rubbish clearer?
06:51You never told me I got promoted.
06:53And that weren't even our rubbish deal.
06:55That come off Harry Dando's fruit and veg stall.
06:57Yeah, I know it did.
06:58Well, listen, Rodney, you know, Harry's a, well, he's an old man now, and he's getting on.
07:01He's got arthritis and a touch of the old, you know, rheumatism.
07:04You know, I mean, if I can help somebody as I go along my way, my living will not have been in vain.
07:10That is my motto.
07:11How much do you pay you?
07:12A fiver.
07:14So you want two quid then, don't you, eh?
07:15No, I don't, I want two quid.
07:16See you, Del.
07:17Oi, when that doctor said your egg will grow back any time now, we weren't kidding, was we?
07:29So, anyway, so he said, anyway, so he said, for a moment now, I thought you were hissing my performance.
07:34No, Del, all right.
07:36All right, yeah.
07:36Listen, give me a banana ducari for un moi, and Australian lager for jumbo, all right?
07:42Yeah, I only sell British lager, Del.
07:45You know, Cronenberg, Offmeister, stuff like that.
07:47All right, what, this one and him, then?
07:48That's all right, yeah, fine.
07:49So, how's life treating you, Del?
07:51I'm all right, not complaining, not complaining.
07:53I take it you never did become that millionaire you were always talking about?
07:56Well, no, no, not yet, you know.
07:58This time next year, I'll be a millionaire.
08:00Do you know those were the last words you said to me just before I emigrated?
08:04Trouble is, that was 1967.
08:06Oh, well, you know, there's still time.
08:09Still time, still time.
08:11Thank you, Michael.
08:12Cheers.
08:13Do you believe that, Del?
08:15I mean, do you truly believe it?
08:19Of course I do, don't I?
08:20Yeah.
08:21You should have come with me, Del.
08:23You're wasted here.
08:24This country's finished.
08:25It's all decrepit.
08:27Yeah, all right.
08:27It was my country, so stop having to pop at it, will you?
08:30That stench of defeat's everywhere.
08:31Yeah, all right.
08:32So it's British stench, and I happen to be proud of it, all right?
08:34The old place has got no guts anymore.
08:37Oh, no, that's funny, that is, Jumbo.
08:38Now, someone else said that a little while ago.
08:40A little jumped-up general from Buenos Aires.
08:42And if you're not careful, you'll get what the argy's got.
08:45And a good smack in the eye, all right?
08:46Oh, now, hold on, mate, hold on.
08:48Didn't mean to offend you.
08:51No, not.
08:52Just trying to point out a few facts, that's all.
08:54All right, mate, all right, all right.
08:55Leave it at that, then.
08:56Do you remember now when our business broke up and I decided to emigrate?
09:00Well, if it hadn't been for you, Del, I'd have gone to Australia potless.
09:04You gave me your last 200 pounds.
09:06Oh, no, I told you, forget it.
09:07Forget it, didn't I?
09:08Well, I never did forget it, mate.
09:10No, even when times were hard, I used to lie in bed at night and think to myself,
09:14I'm going to pay Del back.
09:15With interest.
09:17And now I am.
09:18I want us to reform our old partnership.
09:22What, get another fish stall?
09:25No, no, no, no.
09:27You see, I'm starting up this business.
09:29I'm going to import prestige European motors like rollers, Mercs, that kind of thing.
09:34Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:34I want you to come to Australia as my partner.
09:39Hey?
09:39I want you to front the business, Del boy.
09:42I want you to deal with the public.
09:44Give them that old razzmatazz like you're used to.
09:46Oh, yeah?
09:46Australia?
09:47Well, I've got the money.
09:48I've got the site.
09:49Thanks to my little deal with Boise, I've got the motors.
09:53All I need is you.
09:55I don't know.
09:55I mean, you know, Australia don't have a long way off, innit, eh?
09:58Oh, they'd love you over there.
10:00They've got no class.
10:04What?
10:06No, what I mean is they've got no class structure like they have here in England.
10:09Oh, I see.
10:10I mean, over there, it doesn't matter how you talk.
10:12You see, an old sir, Blake's just a bloke.
10:14Yeah, I know, but cool.
10:15Blimey, that'd cost a fortune to get over there, wouldn't it, eh?
10:17I'm paying.
10:18Oh, no, no, I couldn't go, no, because, you know, no, I've got no trade or nothing, you
10:23know, they wouldn't accept me, would they?
10:24You've got better than that.
10:26You've got a full partnership in a growing company.
10:28Derek, this time next year, you will be that millionaire.
10:33No, no, no, no, I mean, you know, I've got family ties and all that, don't I?
10:39Bring them with you.
10:40Put young Rodney on the payroll.
10:43Well, he has got two GCEs.
10:47That doesn't matter, we'll find something for him to do.
10:52Well, I mean, no, no, Jim, I mean, just, you've got to remember, we didn't know if you
10:55used to row a lot, didn't we?
10:56So will still row.
10:58Our biggest argument will be who's got the most millions.
11:03So what do you say, Del Boy, now, are we going to do it or ain't we?
11:10All right.
11:11Put it there, you old bastard, you're in for a fast ride.
11:14Let's do it, let's do it, all right?
11:16Hey, Michael, Michael, please, a bottle of champagne for my partner and me and make it
11:20the best champagne, a bottle of that, um, Dillinger's 75.
11:26That's Prince Charles' favourite champagne, then.
11:29No, that's Bollinger's.
11:30It's bloody true, I'm telling you.
11:33We're not at it again in Brixton, are we?
11:46This is the Blitz of London.
11:52I was there.
11:53Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, Rodney.
11:56We're going, we're going to Australia.
11:59Yeah, well, I'll just see the end of this first.
12:02No, no, good boy, good boy, good boy.
12:03No, no, come, listen, I'll get the glasses.
12:05Sun, the rise, as she come in the morning.
12:09Sun, the rise, I come with the yawning.
12:12Lighting up the ground all around.
12:15You've had enough, don't you?
12:18Yeah, well, I'm celebrating, aren't I?
12:20It's not every day, like, you know, that you've decided to go Australia, is he?
12:23Go on, I'll tell you what, I'll make you a nice cup of black coffee.
12:26No, no, you don't understand, we are, we're going, we're going to Australia.
12:28What do you mean, we're going to Australia?
12:31Right, well, listen, this boy, what's the matter with this boy?
12:33Don't you understand?
12:34All right, let me put it another way, right?
12:35We are going to Australia.
12:38See, what happens is, like, Jumbo, you know Jumbo, well, he's offered me a partnership in
12:42his company, his new company, and it's going to be a real big earner.
12:45I mean, Rodney, this time next year, we will be millionaires.
12:49Right, first thing in the morning, we go up to, you know, Australia House, right,
12:51I mean, selling the forms, and then, you know, we're away, we're away.
12:55Don't I have any say in this, I might not want to go to Australia.
12:59Yeah, it's too late now, look, I've given them your word, you see.
13:02I've got time to get up about this.
13:05No, you don't have to do that, I've done all that for you, haven't I?
13:08I think, Rodney Frinkley, hey, Australia, hey, we're the men are men, eh?
13:11Yeah, so are the women.
13:17What's that supposed to mean?
13:19Last time I was over there, the only way you could tell the sexist were, the men spit further.
13:23All right, when was the last time, when was the last time you were over there?
13:281929.
13:291929, God blimey, we were still transporting prisoners over there then, weren't we?
13:35Never mind, listen, listen, listen, I want a space only, come here, come here, come here.
13:38Look, Rodney, look, I've got Jumbos, Jumbo borrowed me some of his photos, look, I want you to have a,
13:44look at them, look at the beach there, look, hey, look at that.
13:46Oh, yeah, look at that boat.
13:47Yeah, God, that'll bruise your ribs, won't it, eh?
13:51What have you written, written?
13:52Hey, Rodney, that could be us.
13:53And then a little while, you know, blue skies, surfing, beach parties, all there, hey, what do you reckon?
13:58Yeah, that sounds great.
14:00Yeah, yeah.
14:00What, and he wants us to help run his new car business?
14:03No, no, no, no, not help run it, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just going to, I'm going to be a partner, aren't I?
14:07Like, straight down the middle.
14:09See, Jumbo, he's going to, like, have 51% of the shares, you see?
14:12Well, how's that, how's that straight down the middle, then?
14:15Yeah, I'll get 51% of the shares and all, I suppose, I mean, I don't know, right?
14:19Well, you see, the thing is, that what happens is Jumbo is going to be behind the scenes, like, he's going to handle all the money, like, right there,
14:24and I'm going to be the sales director.
14:26I'm going to have my executive office, you see, and the swivel chair and all that game, see?
14:31So what's my job, then?
14:32Oh, now, Rodney, listen, you're going to play a very vital role in the organisation, and I know, I just know that you can handle it.
14:37So what is it?
14:39Listen, well, you know when all those Rolls, Royces and Mercs, they come trunding off the ship, what is the first thing they're going to need?
14:45Import licences, customs clearance, all that.
14:47Yeah, I know, more important than that.
14:51Re-registering.
14:52They've got to have new number plates and new log books and all that.
14:55Well, they're going to need even more than that.
15:04Cleaning.
15:04Are you going 20,000 miles just to be a car cleaner?
15:13No.
15:14Not going to be just a car cleaner.
15:17He's going to be a prestige car cleaner.
15:20You know, he's going to be in charge of it and all that.
15:22Oh, look, I'll have staff working under me, then.
15:25Eventually.
15:26Yeah.
15:27I mean, this is a growing business, Rodney, and, well, you know, a year from now,
15:30I can't afford to have you down there with your mutton cloth and your teacup.
15:33I've got to have you with me up in the boardroom, and you'll have your own in-car celluloid phone.
15:38You've got to have sex, sex, you're all out, you've got to have that, haven't you?
15:43Yeah.
15:44What about Albert, though?
15:45We've got to find something for him to do, haven't you?
15:46Yeah, I worked it all out.
15:47I wouldn't waste your time, boys.
15:49What?
15:50Because I'm not going.
15:52Hey, boy.
15:53Albert, come here, come here.
15:55What do you mean not going, eh?
15:57Listen to me, son.
15:58I've spent three quarters of my life sailing round this world.
16:01Now all I want is a place to sit down and stay there.
16:04When I come to live with you two, I hope that I would end my days here.
16:08Yeah, well, so did we.
16:11I mean, it's a great opportunity for us, son.
16:14Yeah, yeah.
16:15It's a young man's opportunity, Rodney.
16:18I'll be all right here on me own.
16:22All right.
16:23If that's what you really want, honk.
16:25Yeah.
16:25If that's what you want.
16:26Yeah.
16:27Listen, I'll make sure you're all right for a few bob, you know.
16:31Yeah, you're a good boy, Dale.
16:38Hey, Dale.
16:39Hey.
16:39You're getting away from all this, won't you?
16:41You're the flimmed and the squalor.
16:42Yeah, get rid of that.
16:44It's goodbye to all that and it's hello.
16:46It's a clean air, good living.
16:47Yeah.
16:48It is a point.
16:48Where are we going to live?
16:49Well, Dumbo said that we could have his apartment for a while.
16:52What, not in Sydney, Arthur?
16:53Yeah, that's the one.
16:54It'd be like living on another planet.
16:55Oh.
16:57Um, Dale?
16:59Yes, Rodney, you can have the room with the mirrored ceiling.
17:05Well, what's it say?
17:06I've been accepted.
17:07I've been accepted.
17:08Well, thank God for that.
17:10Yeah, yeah.
17:10Oh, I've had this feeling, you know, everything's been going so well, I thought, you know, something's
17:14bound to go wrong, innit?
17:15No, boy, you're home and dry.
17:17I've got this feeling as well.
17:19I think this is the chance that's going to change your life.
17:23Yeah.
17:23I'm going to make it this time, Al, but you bloody see if I don't.
17:26Yeah.
17:27All right?
17:28Oh, terrific, Rodney.
17:30It's a terrific lot.
17:31I've had a letter, been accepted, haven't I?
17:33Oh, great.
17:34Yeah.
17:35What's my mouth?
17:37Nothing.
17:37Oh.
17:37Nothing's the matter.
17:39You ain't getting homesick already, you're here, huh?
17:41No.
17:41I got a letter this morning as well.
17:46Yeah, yeah.
17:47They've refused me an immigration visa.
17:50They've turned me down.
17:54Sorry, mate.
17:56But why, Rodney?
17:57I mean, you're young.
17:58Yes, well, you've got the GCEs.
18:00I've also got a criminal record for an offence involving drugs.
18:05I mean, bloody hell, that was years ago, and you only took one bloody path.
18:09Oh, no, but you don't say that on your file, does it?
18:12It just says, found guilty for the illegal use of drugs.
18:18I'm sorry, mate.
18:19I'm really sorry.
18:20I've messed it all up for you now, haven't I?
18:22No, you ain't, bruv.
18:23No, you ain't.
18:24Yes, I have.
18:24I have, haven't I?
18:25I've blown you a big chance.
18:27No, you haven't.
18:28There's always a way round, Rodney.
18:30There's always a way round, eh?
18:32Really?
18:33Yeah.
18:34Don't worry, Rodney.
18:36I'll find another car cleaner.
18:39Well, you're still going?
18:46What?
18:47You're going to go without me?
18:49Look, I've got to.
18:50I mean, you know, I've got a partnership waiting for me over there.
18:53And what about our partnership?
18:54Our partnership?
18:55Oh, our partnership.
18:57Yeah, well, you know that that means all the world to me, Rodney.
19:01You know that.
19:01But I'm just going to have to say bonjour to you.
19:04Look, look, look, look, look, boys, I know it's none of my business, but I...
19:07You're spot on, Albert.
19:10I'll make a toast, son.
19:11Look, Rodney, this is my golden opportunity to fulfil my potential, right?
19:23What do you want me to do, eh?
19:24I want to stay here, do you, flogging all this rubbish?
19:27I've got 24 computers here that don't work.
19:29I've got a near-Persian rug that's got more food on it than a menu.
19:36And what about last year, when I had a golden opportunity?
19:41You forced me to give it up, didn't you?
19:43You gave me all that cobbler's about loyalty and family ties.
19:46Yeah, but you wanted to be a window cleaner, didn't you?
19:49It's hardly the end of the rainbow stuff, that, was it?
19:51You know, I'd have had my own business.
19:53Yeah, I know, Rodney, but you will have your own business,
19:55because as soon as I step on an aeroplane,
19:57you will become the sole proprietor of Trotter's Independent Traders.
20:01And what exactly am I supposed to trade with?
20:04Well, all right, well, look, you've got...
20:06At least you've got 24 beautiful-looking computers, haven't you?
20:10And you've got this sort of Persian rug, you know?
20:12Not bad.
20:13You smooch it over with a jaycloth and it's a real go-on.
20:16No, I mean, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
20:18I'll tell you what I've got.
20:18Look, here's my little black book, right?
20:21And I'm going to give you that.
20:21And that contains all the names and addresses of all my birds.
20:26And this is my future.
20:2924 computers that don't compute.
20:32The only rug in the world with a sell-by date
20:34and a script 201 Dalmatians.
20:36Thanks a lot.
20:39Don't you think I've sacrificed enough for you?
20:42Sacrifice? For me?
20:44Yes, you...
20:46When, dear Mum, God rest her soul,
20:49when she died...
20:50Don't start that again.
20:51When she died, who stood by you?
20:53Oh, yes, I remember that well.
20:57I was a little five-year-old stood in a damp graveyard
21:00wondering what the hole in the ground was for.
21:03I remember all the other people saying,
21:05I wonder what's going to happen to poor little Rodney.
21:08But I had no need to fear, did I?
21:11Because suddenly a vision appeared from beyond the silhouette of the gasworks.
21:14Is it a bird?
21:16Is it a plane?
21:17No, it's Del Boy!
21:20That's it, sir!
21:23I, Del Boy, will look after this small weight.
21:27I will bring him up in the ways of Del Boy.
21:30He will sell iffy watches from old suitcases and street corners.
21:36And I will also teach him how to drive a three-wheel van
21:39while pissed out of his skull.
21:48And I did, didn't I?
21:49Yeah, you made a bloody good job of it, too.
21:56Just think, Del, so far I'm your only success.
22:00That says a lot for the two of us, doesn't it?
22:02Well, Rodney, we're Rodders.
22:05It's not going to make a fortune over there!
22:08I'll send you money and all that.
22:09You know what you can do with your money, pal.
22:12Rodney, look, I've got to have a chance.
22:15I mean, this country's going downhill fast, isn't it?
22:18I know, but I think the real opportunity lies right here.
22:23Oh, dear, what happens when a country's in a depression, eh?
22:27Money gets tight, doesn't it?
22:29People can't afford to pay the inflated shop prices,
22:31so what do they do?
22:33They come to blokes like us, don't they?
22:36I tell you, the more hard-up Britain gets,
22:38the richer we become, eh?
22:44This is my big chance, Rodney.
22:48Fine.
22:50Well, I'll see you around.
22:52Sport!
23:00Dipstick.
23:01I suppose you heard all that.
23:05The tugboat crews on the Thames heard it all.
23:08So, what are we come to, eh?
23:10A family feud.
23:12You're like them Ewing brothers, Bobby and J.R.
23:16I suppose I'm a bit like that Bobby.
23:22I wouldn't have said Rodney was like J.R., though.
23:24A J.R., far, but not a J.R.
23:37Rodney's late.
23:38Yeah, he's probably about getting smashed somewhere.
23:42Families, families are nothing but problems, are they over?
23:44Yeah, that's true, son.
23:47Would you like my advice, Del?
23:48Yeah, why not?
23:49Go on, chuck in your penny.
23:50You've got to go, son.
23:52If you don't take this chance, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.
23:56It's the kind of thing that will eat away at you.
23:59I know it'll be tough on young Rodney,
24:01but eventually you'll learn to stay on these two feet.
24:05In the long run,
24:06this could be the best thing for both of you.
24:08Cheers, Howard.
24:12Yeah.
24:13Thanks very much.
24:14Yeah.
24:15Perhaps one day you'll try explaining it to Rodney for me, you know,
24:19because you're better at it than me.
24:21Yeah.
24:23I'm going to phone Jumbo now,
24:24tell him what time I'll be arriving.
24:25Tell you one thing,
24:39phoning Australia'd have half hurt your finger.
24:44Hello.
24:44Jumbo?
24:45Stel boy?
24:46Eh?
24:47Well, with your money,
24:48you won't have a phone in the car, Z.
24:49No, listen,
24:53bit of a problem.
24:55Rodney won't be coming over.
24:57No, we've got a few snags this end, see?
24:59Me?
25:01No, I won't be coming over, either.
25:04No, it's...
25:05You know, it's loyalties, isn't it?
25:07You know, family ties, all that.
25:10I know what I am.
25:12No, just, I'm sorry, mate.
25:14You know, the whole deal's off.
25:15You know, it makes sense.
25:17Anyway, thanks very much for the offer.
25:19Anyway, you know,
25:20it was much appreciated.
25:23Yeah, see you around, pal.
25:25Cheers.
25:27Well, I'm glad my advice helped.
25:34Well, what else could I do?
25:36I suppose it'd be for the best in the end.
25:39Are you happy now, son?
25:41I don't know, no way, I suppose.
25:43It's like a big weight's been removed from his shoulders,
25:45I know that.
25:46Well, I suppose that's something.
25:48Well,
25:50See you in the morning, son.
25:52Good night.
25:54Good night, hon.
26:06All right?
26:07Oh, yeah, bro.
26:08I owe you an apology, Del.
26:14Oh?
26:15Well, all them things I said earlier,
26:16I was right out of order.
26:18And, um,
26:20well,
26:20you've got to take that opportunity.
26:21No, too late now, bro.
26:25I've already phoned Jumbo,
26:27telling him that whole deal's off.
26:28Oh, you ain't.
26:31Because of what I said.
26:33Well, yeah, in a way, Rodney,
26:34in a way.
26:36Because, you know,
26:37you said that the real opportunity lies here,
26:39didn't you?
26:39I mean, you know,
26:40the country's in a bad way,
26:41money's tight,
26:42people are looking for bargains.
26:44I mean, you know,
26:45and who do they turn to,
26:46you know, first, eh?
26:47Blokes like us.
26:48Yeah, blokes like us.
26:50You see,
26:50I was sitting there,
26:51and I thought,
26:51I thought, no,
26:52I thought,
26:53Rodney has hit the whole nail
26:54right on the head there.
26:55I thought,
26:56this wonderful land of ours
26:58is on the eve
27:00of a golden age
27:01of the black market,
27:04and you and me,
27:05you know,
27:05we're going to be in there first.
27:08Now, I'm glad I listened to you, Rodney.
27:10I really am,
27:11because if I'd have taken that,
27:12you know,
27:12chance of a lifetime,
27:13it could have ruined me.
27:16So, we're still partners then?
27:20Yeah, if you'll have me back.
27:22Oh, well,
27:23let me sleep on it, eh?
27:27Smack you in the nose,
27:28you saucy sol.
27:32Hey, Del,
27:33this time next year, eh?
27:35Eh?
27:36Yeah, well,
27:37you know,
27:37this time next year, eh?
27:41Well, I'll see you in the morning, eh?
27:43Yeah, well,
27:43see you in the morning.
27:48Del,
27:48hmm?
27:49Hmm?
27:50Oh, you know,
27:52Yana, bro.
27:55Good night.
28:03This time,
28:04next year.
28:06Who wants
28:15to be a millionaire?
28:18You
Be the first to comment