- 5 months ago
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FunTranscript
00:00This is Senior Flight Attendant Brett Sullivan, winner of Star of the Sky 2003.
00:05You're about to experience the kind of turbulence that wouldn't be much of a problem for a more able pilot,
00:10but unfortunately, I think we're in for a very bumpy night.
00:27We're losing control!
00:29Guys! There's another island! There's people!
00:32We've washed up in paradise and all you want to do is leave.
00:35My son's adopted family lived in Perth.
00:37Perth? That's where I grew up.
00:39Too cool or too fucking unpopular?
00:41What were you saying about a boy?
00:49No, you're very kind, Lorraine, but Brett's the real hero here.
00:52Don't.
00:53Not me.
00:54Well, do you know what? We've got a short clip from the hotly anticipated movie
00:58that's coming out in cinemas next week.
01:00Yes.
01:01It's all based on your real true life adventures.
01:03Yep.
01:04Brett.
01:06I'm sorry.
01:08I don't know what got into me.
01:11I know you're not like that.
01:13I apologise for what I did.
01:15That's all right, Douglas.
01:17But I don't apologise for wanting you.
01:23No.
01:24Now, look.
01:25A wee birdie tells me that you've got something of a very exciting announcement to make.
01:32That's right, Lorraine.
01:33We're engaged to be married.
01:35Oh!
01:36Woo!
01:37Woo-hoo!
01:38Woo-hoo!
01:39Woo-hoo!
01:40Yeah!
01:41Woo-hoo!
01:42Brett!
01:43Brett!
01:44Brett!
01:45Brett!
01:46Oh, sorry, Harriet.
01:47I was miles away.
01:48Do you want to do this or not?
01:50Yes.
01:51You don't have to actually listen though.
01:52You can just pretend and nod.
01:53Yes.
01:54I know what therapy is, Brett.
01:55You don't have to keep telling me.
01:56I've been getting on better with the elder woman of the island.
02:00I was wary of it at first, but she's sort of grown on me like a...
02:04like a moist fungus.
02:05Hmm.
02:06Charming.
02:07In a weird sort of way, she's kind of like the mother that I never had.
02:10And after four weeks on this island, I feel like we are a family.
02:15Well, I wouldn't go that far.
02:17A therapist wouldn't say that, Harriet.
02:19Don't judge, okay?
02:20Just listen.
02:21All right.
02:22I'm all ears, Brett.
02:23Why'd you nick him?
02:24All right.
02:25Go ahead.
02:26Douglas is trying to split the family up.
02:28Escaping on that shitty little raft of his.
02:31We're in paradise here.
02:33I'm not going to stand by and let him take a massive Mr Whippy shit all over it.
02:37I'm going to go with him to the other island.
02:39You know?
02:40A little overnighter.
02:42Put the spark back.
02:43Right.
02:44Same time next week?
02:46Yeah.
02:47Thanks, Harriet.
02:48You're such a good listener.
02:51Makes the whole thing just...
02:53so worthwhile.
02:54Harriet!
02:55Harriet!
02:56For fuck's sake.
02:58You know, I reckon we're all having the same dreams.
03:13It's the island.
03:14Ew, that gives me goosebumps.
03:15You give me a goosebumps, isn't it?
03:16Did you dream you were sharing a junior suite at Sydney Park High, Douglas?
03:20No.
03:21Yeah, we're not having the same dream, are we?
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh.
03:25Guys, before we set off on our weekend city break exploring new lands on distant shores,
03:32we would like to take this opportunity, wouldn't we, Douglas, to say a little something about each and every one of them?
03:33Douglas, would you like to say a few words?
03:34Yeah, look, I think we need to get going before the tie comes in.
03:35Douglas, you need to say something about each and every one of them.
03:36I mean, this might be the last time we see them.
03:37They will die here.
03:38We can't hear you, Brat.
03:39Do the best bits.
03:40Best bits?
03:41We're going to do our best bits.
03:42Oh, no, it's not.
03:43It's not that we're all having the same dream.
03:44We're all having the same dream, aren't it?
03:45Oh.
03:46Guys, before we set off on our weekend city break exploring new lands on distant shores,
03:49we would like to take this opportunity, wouldn't we, Douglas, to say a little something about each and every one of them?
03:52Douglas, would you like to say a few words?
03:54Yeah, look, I think we need to get going before the tie comes in.
03:56Douglas, you need to say something about each and every one of them.
03:59I mean, this might be the last time we see them.
04:01They will die here.
04:02We can't hear you, Brat.
04:04Do the best bits.
04:05Best bits.
04:06We're going to do our best bits.
04:07No, we're not going to do your best bits.
04:08Well, I'm not going anywhere until you've done everyone's best bits.
04:11Do Arne, plying off the island.
04:14Ah!
04:17That is so me.
04:18Spot on.
04:19Okay, okay, who am I?
04:20Oh, my son.
04:22My son.
04:23I've lost my son all the longings.
04:26That's Harriet.
04:28You're so good at these, Brat.
04:30Okay.
04:31Oh, Douglas, I'm sexually inexperienced.
04:33Kiss me.
04:34Right, all done.
04:35Let's go.
04:36Douglas?
04:37It's just a little something to remember me by.
04:43We've had a moment.
04:46But now that moment is over.
04:49And it's time to move on.
04:54Now, I've thought long and hard about who should be crowned king or queen of the island during
05:04my leave of absence.
05:06And after much deliberation, I have finally come to a decision.
05:15Susan?
05:16Yes?
05:17It could be you.
05:18It could be you.
05:20God, Brat, this is so sick.
05:24Harriet?
05:25It is not you.
05:29Yeah, I absolutely couldn't care less.
05:32Sorry, I didn't want to give the crown to someone with such a short life expectancy.
05:35Hope you understand.
05:36Right, Brat, come on, let's think going.
05:37Oh, don't worry about him.
05:38He's just jealous.
05:39Arnab?
05:40Yeah?
05:41It could be...
05:42Not you.
05:43But it might actually...
05:44Come on, we need to get going!
05:45Be...
05:46You.
05:47Now, it is not, not you, but it could be you, so it is actually...
06:03You.
06:04Yeah.
06:05So, wait, who actually is it then?
06:07It's you, Arnab.
06:08It's me.
06:09Oh, my God!
06:10Yes!
06:11Ugh!
06:12All right.
06:13Now, off my island.
06:14All right, come on, the king has spoken.
06:15Yeah.
06:16Go on.
06:17Go on, Douglas, go.
06:18Get.
06:19Go on, get off my island.
06:20It's my country, it's my island.
06:21Take a shit, little rock doggy.
06:22Come on.
06:23Keep going.
06:24It's my country.
06:25It's my country, it's my island.
06:26Take a shit, little rock doggy.
06:27Come on.
06:28Keep going.
06:29It's my country.
06:30It's my country.
06:31It's my country.
06:32It's my country.
06:33Keep going.
06:34Keep going, you fucking immigrants.
06:37Come on, mate.
06:38I'm the king.
06:40I've been thinking, Brett.
06:45Me too.
06:46You know, I think I have to face up to who I really am.
06:48Yeah, me too.
06:49Fine.
06:50You know, I mean, being away, it's made me realise what I really want.
06:53Yeah, yeah, me too.
06:55The affair, it wasn't Pamela's fault.
06:58It wasn't Magnus's fault.
07:00It was mine.
07:01And what happened, Douglas?
07:04It was my job.
07:06All fired.
07:08Then I just went out every day, started drinking.
07:12Before I knew it, I was lying on the bathroom floor.
07:15Divorce petition in my hand.
07:17Black iron shit in my pants.
07:19Yep, I know that feeling.
07:22Ah, kids hated me.
07:25Our friends hated me.
07:27The woman I met in Tiger Tiger 15 years before and asked to marry, well, she hates me too.
07:33I know how it feels to be hated, Douglas.
07:36My birth mother put me up for adoption.
07:38Packed me off to Perth.
07:40You were adopted?
07:42Perth at Perth?
07:43It gets worse.
07:44My adopted parents, they couldn't have kids of their own.
07:48And five years after they adopted me, just after Uncle Shane moved in, Mum miraculously got pregnant.
07:56When you stepped onto the plane and stuck up from me like that, you reminded me of my baby brother.
08:02That's why I uprated you.
08:05Hmm.
08:06That's why.
08:07Brat, have you ever thought about trying to find your biological mother?
08:14Nah.
08:15She probably hates me too.
08:25Hey, what about a quick game of marry, fuck, kill?
08:28Oh, you're okay.
08:30I have to say, it's nice to have a break from Brett.
08:39Turn up!
08:41Turtle soup's almost ready.
08:43What are you doing?
08:44Nothing.
08:45Nothing.
08:46Just...
08:47Just kingly shit.
08:49Okay.
08:50I think it's time for my first royal proclamation as king.
08:54If it has anything to do with having sex with me, thanks but I'm not interested.
08:58Okay.
08:59Then it's time for my second royal proclamation as king.
09:03I don't want no more turtle soup.
09:05I want fish fingers.
09:07We can't do fish fingers, Arnab.
09:08But I'm king!
09:09Yeah, we don't have any fish fingers.
09:10You're being unreasonable, Arnab.
09:12Sorry.
09:13I think I'm just being a bit tetchy because I haven't had my fish fingers.
09:16Can we get chicken dippers?
09:17This is it, Brett.
09:18The other island.
09:19We don't know what we're dealing with here.
09:20Follow my lead.
09:21Hello!
09:22Douglas, do his last thing.
09:23Oh my god.
09:24It was right, Brett.
09:25It was incredible.
09:26Fucking cheaters.
09:27You must have had help.
09:28Who the hell are you?
09:29Ah!
09:30Ah!
09:31Ah!
09:32Ah!
09:33Ah!
09:34Ah!
09:35Ah!
09:36Ah!
09:37Ah!
09:38Ah!
09:39Ah!
09:40Ah!
09:41Ah!
09:42Ah!
09:43Ah!
09:44Ah!
09:45Ah!
09:46Ah!
09:47Ah!
09:48Ah!
09:49Ah!
09:50Ah!
09:51Ah!
09:52Ah!
09:54There were no other survivors?
09:55Oh, well.
09:56No.
09:57Just us.
09:58Everyone else died.
09:59But he just said...
10:00No.
10:01He meant the pilot.
10:02He survived momentarily, but then we lost him.
10:04Before he died, he handed over control of the flight to me though
10:05So...
10:06I guess, Ted, I'm sort of in charge of all this.
10:07Yeah, well, I'm not sure that's how it works.
10:09Ah, this is Mr. Newton.
10:10Now, he's working on a communication device
10:12And God willing, when he's finished, we're gonna send out distress signals.
10:15Why would you want to do that?
10:16It makes no sense.
10:18You've clearly worked so hard here, and now you just want to up, stick, some go.
10:21takes them go. Of course we do. What kind of maniac would want to stay on a desert island?
10:28What the fuck is that? Oh, that's our distress flag. You know, I made it from the only item
10:34of salvage clothing that nobody wanted to wear. That is my best jacket, Ted. And it's
10:38designer. Not that you would understand, gat man. Can you get it down, please?
10:51What are you doing, Susan? I saw Erna digging in here again this morning. I couldn't imagine it,
10:55but I think he was burying something. Oh. Oh, Harriet. Who's been hiding food from the group?
11:04Shame on Erna. That is so unfair. Right, while the king's away, open them.
11:21Oh, it's really good. Let's have a few more.
11:24It's really good. Let's have a few more.
11:27This is fun, isn't it? I have to say, I don't recall praline being this tasty.
11:34Yeah. Or indeed euphoric. To the point of terror.
11:37Oh! Oh!
11:43Do you know what? It is so refreshing to meet other survivors. We love what you've done
11:50if you can't. We adore it, don't we? It's sort of like, um, shabby chic. I still see
11:55you using the old water filtration system. We've moved on to running water over there,
12:00I guess. It's great. Running water? Yeah, we've got a water
12:03softener and a little soda stream type thing. Oh, a soda stream. Oh. How'd you do that?
12:08Douglas, there is no end to this man's talents. He built a jacuzzi the other day.
12:13Jacuzzi? Oh. You're lying. No, Douglas, he thinks you're lying. Tell him.
12:18No, no, no. It's just a bath with holes in it. It's a simple reverse plumbing.
12:22Yes. You should pop by. Our island door is always open to you. Just drop in.
12:29You have, um, mi casa, su casa?
12:32It's your mata da moco. We could do, like, a little book night or something. Film night.
12:36We'll do a film night. Everybody bring a dish. Something out of the Otolange cookbook or,
12:40I don't know, Leon. I've got a question for you, Brett.
12:42Wait. Have you seen any luggage belonging to Mr. Arnab Singh?
12:47Arnab? Who? I mean, that sounds made up. Arnab Singh?
12:50Is that a name?
12:51Singh? I mean, that's even an actual name, is it? Arnab what? I can't even say the name.
12:55Arnab Singh? No.
12:56It doesn't make any sense. Sounds stupid.
12:58I mean, we've established we don't know...
13:00I definitely don't know Arnab Singh.
13:01...don't know an Arnab Singh, you know. But however, I mean, if we did find any of his luggage,
13:05what should we do?
13:08Well, we believe he's a mule for a cartel running drugs into Australia.
13:12We've been tracking him.
13:14What are you not doing?
13:16What? Oh, what are you not doing? No!
13:19You're such a naughty, Arnab. You're so naughty.
13:22You're hiding all the chocky-chocks away from yourselves.
13:25You're very greedy. They're very fizzy.
13:28No, they're not chocolates. They're...
13:29They're...
13:30They're drugs!
13:31You're not being a moustache! I'm a dead man!
13:34They're gonna kill me! They're gonna kill us!
13:36That's great news, Arnab!
13:39What?
13:41Come back and see him, Angel.
13:43I don't want to make a stand, Angel. I'm a dead man!
13:45Come on!
13:49Are you certain there were no other survivors?
13:52Oh, yeah. No, it's just...
13:53Neither.
13:54Just us two. Just me and Brett.
13:56We be a fifth.
13:57So you keep telling us.
13:59I lost my daughter, Susan.
14:04I'm so sorry.
14:06That's...
14:07That's really bad news.
14:09It's...
14:09It's awful, isn't it?
14:11That's...
14:11Yeah, that is the saddest news I have ever heard in my entire life.
14:16Susan!
14:17What?
14:18So,
14:19have you seen my daughter?
14:21No.
14:22As I say, it's just...
14:24Just the two of us.
14:25Just the be a fifth.
14:25Then why don't you explain to me why you're wearing her chastity ring around your neck?
14:30Oh, that one!
14:31What, this old thing?
14:32I just found it.
14:33I mean, it just washed up in on the beach.
14:35I just really like it.
14:36Brett Sullivan.
14:38As I live and breathe.
14:40Sandra, bitch slut!
14:41As I live and breathe.
14:43You didn't tell me we'd arrived on Whore Island, Ted!
14:46This is the guy I was telling you about, everyone.
14:49The guy who brought the plane down.
14:56Can you two please just stop talking about how time is the cylinder?
14:59Just listen to me, please.
15:01I've felt like this since I had that HRT treatment.
15:06Cheap in Eastern Europe.
15:08White girls, wasted.
15:10I need drugs.
15:12You do an illegal drug sign-up.
15:14You do drugs on up.
15:16Then you love it so much.
15:17You love it!
15:18I love you!
15:25Fuck it.
15:25I'm a dead man anyway.
15:28No.
15:29Go ahead.
15:30Liar!
15:30You will tell me what you did with my daughter!
15:33Oh!
15:34Oh!
15:34No, please!
15:36Nothing, honestly, Brett.
15:37Help!
15:38Can you please put my friend down, you horrible man?
15:40What happened in the cockpit, Brett?
15:42Nothing happened in the cockpit, Sandra.
15:44God!
15:45Have you really stooped this low?
15:46She's just jealous, okay?
15:48The pilot only had eyes for me and not her.
15:50So she's making shit up.
15:52Bullshit, Brett.
15:53What did you do, you fat, useless fuck?
15:55Look, I'm more than happy to talk to you about this, Sandra.
15:58But it has to be in a professional capacity.
16:00And might I just remind you, you're with the airline until this plane lands in Sydney.
16:04I've still got my name badge, bitch.
16:06Where the fuck is yours?
16:07Ah!
16:07Can you answer my fucking question, please, you sad sack of shit?
16:10Okay, all right.
16:11I was about to get promoted, actually.
16:14They made me star of the sky again.
16:16I was awarded this in 2003, everybody.
16:19Holly Valance gave me vouchers.
16:21You pathetic, Brett.
16:24And you're forgetting that I know you, okay?
16:27And I know you're a liar and that you're mad.
16:30Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
16:32Okay, I will explain everything.
16:33If you could just sit down and I will explain exactly what happened.
16:36Okay, okay, imagine, all right, this area here is the cockpit, okay?
16:43And then the pilot, he would come in here.
16:47Douglas, run!
16:48Oh, my God!
16:49Oh, my God!
16:49Oh, my God!
16:50Oh, my God!
16:51Oh, my God!
16:51Yes!
16:51I get the water!
16:53Come on, Douglas!
16:56Oh, then you can have it!
16:57Come on!
17:04Come on!
17:04I know you can't, I know you can't, I know!
17:06One, two, three, go!
17:10I'm gonna get you!
17:12Mother, son of a bitch!
17:15He's pumping in water!
17:16Douglas, go faster!
17:19Get closer!
17:20Come on, panel, quicker!
17:22He's gaining!
17:25Come on, panel!
17:26Road, road!
17:32Oh, no.
17:35What?
17:35Look, he hasn't woken up!
17:37No, you fucking killed Putin's dad!
17:40No, he didn't!
17:40No, he didn't look his face!
17:41So you just kicked Putin's dad, you fuck!
17:43No, he's fine!
17:43No, he's fine!
17:43The leading horse is white, the second horse is red, the third one is black, the last one is green.
18:09What happened in the cockpit, Bruce?
18:12I'm just gonna get stripped of my badge because of you.
18:14What?
18:15I didn't want you to feel guilty of your role in the plane crash.
18:18I don't play the plane game.
18:20Bullocks!
18:21No, Bullock, not Bullock, actually.
18:23I was about to lose my badge for upgrading it, so it's your fault the plane came down, not mine.
18:29You're not answering my question. What the hell happened in the cockpit?
18:32I'm not answering my question. What the hell happened in the cockpit?
18:35Just tell me!
18:36Just tell me!
18:37Yeah!
18:39Frank! Frank!
18:40Oh!
18:41Douglass!
18:42Frank!
18:43Frank!
18:44Frank!
18:45Frank!
18:46You promised me you'll survive, but you'll never give up.
18:49No matter what happens, no matter how hopeless.
18:52What?
18:53Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.
18:57Who's Rose?
18:58It's Kate!
19:00Frank!
19:01Winslet!
19:03It's from Titanic!
19:05No, no, no.
19:07Frank!
19:08Ah!
19:10Frank!
19:12Frank!
19:16Fuck!
19:18Fuck, fuck!
19:29Oh, Douglas.
19:51Hello.
19:51Oh.
19:55Is that a sandcastle?
19:57It's a 3D plan for a new superclub that me and Magneto are working on.
20:01Basically, it's called Coconut, the entrance is there, free entry, you've got a champagne
20:08room.
20:09There's no sex in the champagne room, all right?
20:11And then you've got this bit.
20:12We'll probably do, like, techno or house or something like that, it's not very good.
20:15And then you've got a hip-hop room here.
20:16Did you get to the other island?
20:17What?
20:18The other island?
20:19Were there people?
20:20Were there survivors?
20:21All the way through, like, Coconut all the way through here, yeah?
20:25No.
20:26Turtles in the top bit as well, yeah?
20:29And that's...
20:30Where's Brett?
20:31I don't know.
20:32I lost him.
20:33Um...
20:34Harriot?
20:35Yeah.
20:36Um...
20:37It's about Brett.
20:39What?
20:40Well...
20:41When we were out at sea, he confided in me and he told me that he was adopted and that
20:46he grew up in Perth.
20:48And just, the ages worked out and I was just wondering if...
20:53Well, spit it out, Douglas.
20:55Well...
20:56Do you think Brett might be your long-lost son?
20:59Oh!
21:00Oh!
21:01Sorry!
21:02Oh!
21:03Oh!
21:04Oh!
21:05I'm so sorry!
21:07No, no, I understand.
21:10Oh!
21:11Oh!
21:12This is the last will and testament of Brett Mufasa Sullivan.
21:19If anything should happen to me, I want it known that I love all my new family equally.
21:26Harriet is like the mother that never loved me.
21:32Little sis Susan is a princess and I am her queen.
21:39There's no buddy like my brother Arnott.
21:43Do you really think that's a good idea, Douglas?
21:48My many years of problem drinking, I always find that gin is a very good idea.
21:53Here's Brett, here's to you.
21:57Douglas, one universe, nine planets, 205 countries, seven seas, 809 islands, and I had the privilege
22:08of meeting you.
22:11I know not whom to leave my estate to, so it's only fair I offer you the chance to prove
22:18your love for me by battling each other for my chattles in a naked fight.
22:25The winner takes off.
22:26Right.
22:27Come on, mate.
22:28Let's do this.
22:29Come on, mate.
22:30Come on.
22:31He said naked fight.
22:32Come on.
22:33Stop it.
22:34What?
22:35He said we have to.
22:36Come on.
22:37Where is my mind?
22:51Where is my mind?
22:53Where is my mind?
22:55Where is.
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