Fred Buse Discusses His Book and Experiences with Alzheimer's Care  _A Caregiver's Tips_ - video Dailymotion

Yaya Diamond TV

https://fredericbuse.com/about-the-author/ 🌼 Gain a deeper understanding of the caregiving journey with Fred Buse, an author who has transformed his personal experiences with Alzheimer's into a source of hope and guidance for others. In this insightful video, Fred discusses the impetus for writing his book, which offers practical advice and emotional support for caregivers.   He reflects on the dual roles he assumed as both husband and caregiver, sharing the lessons he learned along the way. Fred's story is filled with moments of vulnerability and strength, highlighting the importance of preparation and adaptability in the face of adversity. His candid account of the legal and financial steps he took to secure his wife's future is particularly enlightening.   Whether you're a caregiver or simply interested in learning more about Alzheimer's, this video provides a wealth of information and inspiration. https://podopshost.com/yayadiamond   ⚡ VidChapter AI generated these chapters, try it out https://vidchapter.com/?affiliate=yayadiamond Recommended podcast platform get 10% off: https://podopshost.com/register/?ref=yaya   Tools and Services I use: Appsumo has the best lifetime deals ever!!! I love this site.  appsumo.8odi.net/yayadiamond The easiest way to make your graphics: https://buff.ly/2RTQLn0 Best website for musicians. Try it for free on me: https://buff.ly/2GMYugG Make money with Fiverr.com: https://buff.ly/2KjTVvV   Our Amazon store: https://buff.ly/34RYNlm DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. My affiliate links usually provide either a free trial or discount so go try them out on me! Thank you for supporting DreamChasersRadio.com  so I can continue to provide you with free content each week! Privacy Policy: https://buff.ly/2XSrflS ™Yaya Diamond Red Hot Reality Ent. LLC

Transcript

00:00Hey guys, it's me, Yaya Diamond. What's up, peoples? How you doing? It is a great day,

00:19and I'm so very excited to be here. I have said that so many times, I don't even remember when

00:24it started, but it's okay. I guess I'll have to find out because it still is true to this day,

00:29and I'm so very excited to have my next guest on the show today. His name is Fred Buce,

00:35and I hope I got that right, because if I didn't, then I didn't hear him the first time.

00:39Welcome to the show, sir. Thank you so much for being here.

00:44Well, thank you. Yes.

00:45Thank you. Thank you. So today, I wanted to kind of go over a lot of different things,

00:51and your book. So you have your book, and I see your book as a caregiver's tip. But before we get

00:57into the interview, can I play that trailer right there? Yeah. Awesome. Okay. I'm going to go ahead

01:04and play this trailer right here. Okay. Absolutely love it. Absolutely. It's just wonderful. You know,

01:28a lot of people have been affected by Alzheimer's. They've been affected by their spouses not being

01:37able to respond or differences in their attitudes, their way of thinking. And when you write a book

01:46about it, that just takes it way personal. What prompted you to go ahead and write a book about

01:52about it? Because I mean, it's this is this is intimate. Well, after the experience, I had all this

02:00knowledge, because I was writing a diary, but as we were going along, and I said, Well, it would be good to

02:08write a book with all this knowledge, from a man's standpoint, of what happened.

02:17Can you tell me like the moment that you realized that something just wasn't right?

02:22Well, yes, it took a while for me to realize that was not happening. She would go bowling. And a woman

02:32would pick her up to go bowling. And bowling people said, Fred, that is continuously repeating the same

02:42story over and over again. And but I still didn't click it. And then finally, this woman said, I'm afraid

02:50to take her shopping. Because when I got out of the car, I don't know where she will be if she would

02:56get out and start to wonder. And I said, Oh, and that's when I really realized what was happening.

03:02Yeah. Wow. Wow. Okay, so you mentioned, like in your synopsis of the book, dual lives as a caregiver.

03:12Can you elaborate on that experience and what it was like for you on a daily basis?

03:18Well, as time went by, I had to, I took more and more chores of what was happening in the house. And

03:27of course, I was taking care of her at the same time. So basically, you're living two lives,

03:34her life and my life at the same time. I am so sorry that happened to you.

03:42That's the way it goes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so like, what was your day like? I mean,

03:49you know, you said you took on two roles, a caregiver, and you were still a husband at the

03:53same time. So I mean, tell me, what was your day like?

03:56Well, I would have to make breakfast for both of us. And unfortunately, she liked,

04:07she liked to sleep late. So that was good. So I could get up shower and make breakfast and

04:14do what chores are like, doing the dishes, doing the clothing, and then she would get up. And then I

04:22would have to take care of her, you know, wash her and make her bed. And

04:29so it was like, doing doing my life and then doing her life. Yeah. Yeah. What was like,

04:36some of the strategies that you came up with? I know that you have some of these in the book,

04:40because I know these are caregiver tips. But what was like the one strategy that if you didn't do it,

04:45if you didn't formulate this, if you never knew this, it would just make your life miserable?

04:53Well, um, you mean what what experience was the worst experience I had? No, like a tip, like,

05:00like, okay, if I don't do this, then everything collapses. You know what I mean?

05:06Okay, well, um,

05:10I would say getting her ready. That was a getting her out of bed. She refused to get it out of bed.

05:19And if we had an appointment. And she refused to get out of bed. Sometimes I would call up my sister

05:27who was in Florida, and put the telephone next to my wife's ear. And she recognized my sister. And

05:36that's not that started the day then. Yeah. Wow. Wow. So if if you couldn't get her out of bed,

05:43and your sister wasn't there, everything would pretty much collapse for that day.

05:46Yes, I'd have to be very patient. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So there's different things, right?

05:53You have to learn to be patient. Mm hmm. Wow. So okay, so among the 134 practice tips that you share,

06:02which one do you believe made the most significant impact on your journey as a caregiver for your wife?

06:08Okay. Well, um, that's a very good question. The one thing I found out quickly is,

06:22do not travel with a person who has Alzheimer's. Okay. That was a disaster almost three times.

06:33Oh, no. Um, we would travel and we got on a plane. And the plane was in the air for about an hour.

06:42And then she decided she wanted to get off the plane. And she made quite a fuss. I want to get off the plane.

06:50So that was that was a very bad episode. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That is, you know, wow.

07:00Wow. The other episode we had was in Atlanta's airport, which has a subway.

07:09And she was right behind me. And I got out of train. And she backed up. And so the door started to close.

07:19Fortunately, another man was able to and myself pry the doors open.

07:23And they kept her on. But if she was alone on a train like that, it would be a disaster,

07:30because she wouldn't know what to do. And I'd have to take that whole loop underneath the landline.

07:37Okay, so do not travel with a person that has Alzheimer's.

07:40No, no, no, no. Oh, gosh. Yep.

07:44Wow. Wow. So how did you navigate the legal and financial aspects of this? I know that,

07:50you know, you have to take care of her. You had to live your life and her life. You have to take care.

07:55I mean, what was that like for you?

07:58Well, you have to go to a lawyer and set up all the trust because if something happened to me,

08:06what would happen to her? So I finally got arranged that the bank would take over

08:11and set up a home for her and take care of all the finances. Wow. The bank does that?

08:19Yeah. And that was a big relief to have that set up that way. Yeah. Wow. Wow. So I mean, okay,

08:25so what advice would you give to others in this predicament? Should they do that? Should they

08:31find someone like now? Yes, absolutely. As soon as possible.

08:36Okay. So let's go into like joy and happiness. Can you find any or can you discuss or can you

08:45recollect any memories of joy that you had in connection with your wife during this time,

08:51even despite the Alzheimer's? Oh, yes. As time went on, he could do less and less things. So

09:01I had to learn to put up her lipstick and of course, that was a lot of fun.

09:14So there were some good times. Yeah. That is wonderful. I mean, I absolutely love what you've

09:19done. You've taken this whole thing and you've put it out there. You know, the advice that you give and

09:26the recollections that you give and the memories and everything that you have is so precious and

09:32and it's just, but it's also, it's, it's also liberating in a way. When you finished your book,

09:39you know, what did it, what did it do for you? Because I mean, you know, you, you had her,

09:44you have her or you had her. I'm not sure if she's still with us today, but what did it do for you?

09:50Well, I thought it was relief, like letting this knowledge go to other people.

10:02But I felt that was so important that other people knew, get to know what to do in this case,

10:09because it's not out in the medical books. You know, people, ordinary people, all of a sudden,

10:14they fall into this situation and they have no idea what to do without the medical people. You know,

10:22so this book would help all kinds of people, not just for Alzheimer's, but people who have dementia.

10:29Right. There's a lot of frustrated people out there. So help, help, you know.

10:33Yeah, definitely. Okay. So go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

10:38You get surprises as this goes on. They have what happens in the evening, they get sundown syndrome.

10:50And I was not aware of this, of course, but all of a sudden, she would start talking to other people,

11:00a group of people. And I would, I was sitting there physically, but she wouldn't even see me.

11:06And this conversation would go on for a half an hour. And I didn't dare interrupt because I was

11:12not there in her mind. Hmm. And then after half an hour or so, she'd pop out of it. But that was

11:19quite an experience. Wow. You're there, but not there. Oh, wow. Would that be the first thing that

11:27you would have wanted to know? Or is there something else you would have wanted to know, like going into

11:33this whole thing? Like, okay, I, I wish I would have known this first.

11:40No one told me about it. But yes, I wish I had known because I didn't know what was going on for

11:44quite a while. Hmm. Yeah. How do you think society should better care for this situation?

11:52I mean, education and just being upfront with it and not hiding it?

11:57I think that'd be quite important. They could almost have a class on my book for people who

12:06have to go through this situation. Wow. Are there any changes that you've noticed with yourself

12:15and the way you experience life and the way you love people?

12:19Yes, I have more, more respect about people in general, because we are what we are. Yeah. And

12:30you might say to a person, but reality, each of us has our own journey we're taking. And just to

12:37recognize that. But the main thing I learned, you have to be patient, even though you feel mad about

12:46things. You can't be mad, you just have to accept them. Wow. It's just such a pleasure. Wow.

12:56She would, um, she would drop things. And she would say, I didn't do that. And you, you don't dare

13:06say yes, you did. You just have to accept it. Yeah. Wow. Is she still with us today? No, no, no,

13:15she passed after nine, nine years. Yeah. And that was another blessing that the doctors recognize

13:24that this is the end. And so they got hospice and what wonderful people hospice are.

13:31Yeah, they are. They're all volunteers, but they're so gracious.

13:36Yeah. Yeah. I know about that. I know about that. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Well, I'm so thankful that

13:44you've wrote and you've written this book. You know, are there any pointers that you would give

13:50someone who would want to write a book like this? And in the takeaway, what do you want? I know this

13:55is two questions in one, but what do you want your readers to take away? Because I mean, you do you have

14:00to be a certain age to read this or should you just go ahead and read it now?

14:07Well, I keep on repeating myself, but the main thing is you got to accept things that happen

14:12happen. That, you know, you don't want to happen, but like, um, like at dinnertime,

14:23at dinnertime, I ended up feeding her. I'd put on a bib and put down, uh, plastic plates and plastic

14:34cups because she would, uh, knock them over. Uh, I put down a placemat. The placemat could not have any

14:44flowers on it or figures because she would start to play with the placemats. And

14:49if it was a clear placemat, she would keep on turning it over.

14:53And, um, it was a simple thing, but if, uh, uh, if she had a blanket and it had any patterns on it,

15:08she would start to play with the, with the blanket. And, um, she went back to, uh, simple, uh, jigsaw

15:18puzzles. Yeah. But the main thing is they, for some reason, these people will like,

15:25like patterns and flowers and they start to pick at them. Like, um, all of a sudden I saw her hands

15:32were dirty and I found out she was picking the leaves off the plants we had at home.

15:40So you have to put things you enjoy, you have to put them away.

15:44Yeah. It has to be simple. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, I, man, I thank you so much for being here

15:52and for writing this book. Where can people find your book? And do you have a website?

15:57I have a website, which I don't know much about, but I have a website.

16:03We've been watching it all of this time and I'm going to go ahead and put the link in the,

16:08in the description. It's frederickbuse.com. It's on Amazon. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll put that link

16:18as well in the description. Also, um, people can go ahead and check out that book by, um,

16:27let me go ahead and get this right here. There's the QR code right there. So people can actually scan that

16:33and go to your website and check it out. I believe that one is the Amazon site and go and check it out

16:39there. Um, and I want to thank you so much for being here. It's just been a pleasure having you.

16:45Is there anything that we didn't do or say, or we miss that you'd like to say?

16:51Well, can you briefly tell me about your program?

16:54Well, this program here. Yeah. Oh, I can definitely do that. Definitely. We are everywhere. We're

17:02YouTube, Amazon. We're on, uh, fire steak. We're on Roku or women to women TV. We're in the UK.

17:11They just air every Tuesday at UK time. Um, we are, we're pretty much on all the major social media

17:20platforms as well as in South Africa. So yeah, it's everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. We're everywhere.

17:27I just, I absolutely have taken the time to make sure that when we, when we publish something that

17:34lots and lots of people will have access to it. So definitely. Yeah. So where they go to

17:39Yaya diamond, they go to yaya diamond.com or they can just put my name into Google and it just brings

17:45pages and pages and pages. Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. So you could find me

17:52anywhere. Okay. Okay. And all you have to do to find your episode is put your name in there because

17:58I put the name of the authors and the titles. Oh, very good. Thank you. No problem. No problem.

18:03I want to thank you, Mr. Buse for being on the show and for being so transparent and sharing your story

18:08with us and also giving those tips because that is necessary in the same, you know, people, they,

18:13they, they think that, you know, this is taboo. Yes. Yes. But it's not, it's life. Yeah. It's part

18:20of life. Yeah. It's part of life and you never know. It might be your life. I mean, look at Bruce Willis.

18:26Yeah. Yeah. Just don't know. Money doesn't save this. This is just something that happens. Yeah. So,

18:32but thank you, Mr. Buse and thank you guys so much for tuning in. Don't forget to dare to be different,

18:37but most of all, don't forget to go check that book out for yourself. It's not about how old you

18:41are or whatever, because there are young children that get Alzheimer's too. I didn't know that. Wow.

18:46Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So you need to know about it. So that when it comes around and if it ever does,

18:53you'll be prepared. I want to thank you guys so much for tuning in. Don't forget to dare to be different.

18:58And until next time guys, bye. The next time will be about two weeks. Yes, it will be because you have

19:03another book. Yes, I do. Yeah. Mr. Buse is a proficient author.

19:19Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Thank you for watching.

Fred Buse Discusses His Book and Experiences with Alzheimer's Care _A Caregiver's Tips_

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