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  • 6 weeks ago
JAVONTE is a proud parent to Kason, two, but he struggled with his initial feelings during the pregnancy. Opening up to Truly, Javonte admitted, "I was ashamed to be a seahorse dad. I didn't want to deal with the backlash." Javonte, who is trans, paused taking testosterone specifically to conceive his son. His partner at the time, Kayla, supported him as he sought out a donor in order to fall pregnant. Discussing the experience, Javonte explained, "After I gave birth to Kason I was in disbelief - I didn't believe he came out of me." Post-pregnancy, Javonte decided to share his journey online. "I got positive responses, negative responses...all different types of responses." In this episode of My Extraordinary Family, Javonte discusses the scrutiny he receives over being a seahorse dad. We'll also see him reveal his future pregnancy plans to ex, Kayla - how will she react?!

Follow Javonte on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@yesdatstute

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🎈
Fun
Transcript
00:00I was ashamed to be a seahorse dad.
00:02Now I'm planning to get pregnant again.
00:04When you go outside, you got a lot of eyes,
00:06a lot of different people saying certain things.
00:08Somebody said, oh, hell no.
00:10That's scary.
00:11And somebody said, freak no.
00:13Then somebody also said, sell the baby.
00:16So how do you feel about the fact that I want 10 kids?
00:19Our journey was hard and rough.
00:22It's just something that I personally would not want to go through again.
00:28Call me.
00:29Brush your teeth.
00:31Yes, I'm going to brush your teeth.
00:33My name is Javonte.
00:34I'm a trans dad with a two-year-old son.
00:37This is my son, Kason.
00:39Kason is a very outgoing child.
00:44Brush your teeth.
00:45He is a fast learner.
00:48He's smart, intelligent, and many different other things.
00:53Good job.
00:55Growing up, I hated being a female.
00:58It's sad to say, but I was always disgusted with myself.
01:01I felt like I was a man inside of a woman's body.
01:05Just looking in the mirror was, like, uncomfortable for me.
01:09Now I love to look in the mirror.
01:10I look in the mirror all the time now.
01:12Do you remember when I had a beard?
01:14Yes.
01:14No, you don't.
01:16Should I grow my beard?
01:17No.
01:18Put it down.
01:19Well, put it down.
01:20When I was about eight or nine, I used to look up females that turned to men and stuff like
01:27that.
01:28I wasn't seeing full-blown transition at that time.
01:31But I would see females that dressed masculine.
01:35So I was like, okay.
01:36I took that rule of dresser masculine.
01:39But I kept still feeling like this is not enough.
01:42I ran into a trans guy.
01:45I think I was maybe, like, 12 or 13.
01:48And they was like, oh, he used to be a girl.
01:50And then I'm like, you could do that.
01:52So then I started doing deeper research.
01:54Yeah, play cards.
01:56Play cards.
01:56So when did you eventually start your medical transition?
02:01I started medically transitioning at 18, directly after my birthday.
02:07It felt wonderful.
02:08My first time taking a shot, it just felt like this is what I've wanted this whole entire time.
02:15Having boy time for my son actually feels great.
02:18Feels like the piece that I was missing.
02:22Where's you going?
02:24Where's you going?
02:26Do you think your parenting style works well for raising a son?
02:30Um, I feel like my parenting style works well.
02:33It can be a little hard sometimes because, um...
02:36Daddy, hi, see.
02:37Okay, go hi.
02:38Because of the way he is.
02:41But other than that, it's perfectly fine.
02:45Daddy.
02:46Boo!
02:47Ah!
02:48Ah!
02:50Ah!
02:51Ah!
02:52Ah!
02:53Ah!
02:54My ex name is Kayla.
02:56She's my baby mother and we co-parent.
02:58When I first met Kayla, I think I was about 14 years old.
03:02We end up becoming best friends.
03:04And then a few years later, we was in a relationship.
03:07After I transitioned, I was like, I'm going to go ahead and get the experience to carry a child.
03:12before I had my bottom surgery I was the one who decided that I wanted to carry
03:17the baby, not Kayla. And what process did you go through to get pregnant? I stopped
03:23taking testosterone to conceive my son. I did want to keep all my masculine
03:29features but I was willing to take a risk to stop to conceive my son. I did AI
03:36insemination. I found the Facebook group and I found the person that fits me best.
03:42We actually tried one time, it didn't work. I kind of gave up on that one time but
03:48then the second time was the charm. I can't believe I was ever pregnant.
03:52Sometimes I just like look at this and it's just like it really takes a strong
03:57person to do something like this. Did you feel ashamed to be a seahorse dad? I felt
04:05masculine features and I had a stomach as well so that could be very confusing
04:10for a lot of people and it's just like when you go outside you got a lot of
04:14eyes, a lot of different people saying certain things. I felt so like I had to be
04:19quiet and more so hide everything. The only time I felt comfortable was in the
04:27comfort of my own home. When I told my family I was pregnant they were actually
04:32flabbergasted. I actually didn't want none of my friends to know but I
04:35told my two closest friends at the time. Why did you feel the need to hide it?
04:39Because I didn't want to deal with the backlash of hearing the all the
04:45negative things that everybody has to say because what people really genuinely
04:49don't understand, trans people are still hearing me. On top of that I was still
04:53dealing with pregnancy hormones as well. After I gave birth to Kaysen I was in
05:01disbelief like I didn't believe he came out of me. It took a little minute for me to
05:04realize this is my child. I started posting about me being pregnant as a
05:09trans man when my son was close to turning one and my phone was just like
05:14ringing off the chart after I posted the TikTok video.
05:17Why did you decide to post a video as a pregnant dad?
05:20Just to make myself feel more secure and to get comfort from other trans dads. I got
05:27positive responses, negative responses, all different types of responses. Here's some
05:33negative comments I got for example. Somebody said what the is that with
05:37laughing emojis? I'm so confused. Somebody said oh hell no. That's scary. And
05:44somebody said freak no. Then somebody also said sell the baby. I'm not selling my baby.
05:50Now what if the baby is allergic to formula with a bunch of laughing emojis? How is
05:54breastfeeding going to work? We are people not seahorses. You are not a seahorse. And then a
06:01positive comments is oh my god this is the cutest thing ever. Congratulations your
06:06wife is so lucky to have you and it's so beautiful baby. Y'all are having. I would
06:12love to have ten kids. And would you want to carry them all? I would want to carry
06:17maybe about five of them and then I would give my egg to my partner to let her
06:23carry the rest of the five. I low-key want to start hormones again to get more
06:29comfortable back within myself and also when I carry again I want to be way
06:34more masculine. I'm gonna make sure I have all my facial hair because I want
06:39other trans people out there to know and just other people in general that it's
06:43okay no matter how you look to have a child. Today I'm gonna ask my ex baby
06:47mother what she think about me getting pregnant again. I'm nervous to see what
06:51she says. How did you feel with me being trans carrying a baby? Well before you
06:56brung trans to my knowledge I really didn't know much about trans people so
07:02when we brung like baby on top of it it was like you know I know people were
07:07gonna be looking at us weird when we're outside or everybody's gonna have their
07:10opinion but like I've really learned to go through life like no one opinion
07:15matters. How did you feel when I first got pregnant and I was saying stuff like oh
07:20I want everybody to think you had the baby and let's do Photoshop to make it look
07:24like you was pregnant and I wasn't. It was very uncomfortable for me. Very
07:31confusing, very against what we talked about because your main thing that was
07:39brought to me on why you we were having a child was because you know you're
07:42transgendering so that could affect you having kids in the future. It was like
07:48kind of like backwards from what we talked about in the beginning. Told me you want
07:54to have this baby for you. Why do we have to Photoshop a belly on me? Like it was very
08:00confusing to me.
08:02Yeah okay. I feel like you do a good job showing a male role model to our son but as
08:10he gets older I think that's something like that's gonna be a challenge.
08:16What age do you feel like we should come out to him about the whole entire situation?
08:22It seems possible. He is no reason to hide it. Like you have a trans dad and you
08:29have a mom. Like you can know that. He starts school. Kids talk about their dads. Kids
08:38feel alienated because of something we decided not to tell him. It's something I
08:43told you when we're raising him. It's something he needs to know.
08:48I agree. So how do you feel about the fact that I want 10K?
08:52Oh gosh. Wish you the best. I wish you the absolute best. Because no. Our journey was
09:06hard and rough and it was beautiful in his ways but it's just something that I
09:11personally would not want to go through again. Can I still count on you for support?
09:16Yes. When you first started this we were best friends. It wouldn't change just
09:21because we're not together. Like I still care about you. We still we're raising a
09:28child together. Like so I'll always be your biggest supporter. I have no regrets
09:35about being a seahorse dad. Other seahorse dads, I say embrace it. Don't care. What
09:42nobody else thinks about your life is your life. We only live one time. Make the best
09:46out of it and do things that you never thought you would do.

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