00:00This is my boyfriend Theodore, and he's trans. He stopped his transition so that we can start a family.
00:06So I had to stop testosterone. It took almost a whole year to even conceive him.
00:11There is a lot of people that were saying that child is abused, somebody should call CPS.
00:17If you identify as a male, why would you want to do women things? My sisters are coming over today, Victoria and Samantha.
00:24So it was Tiffany for most of my life, and then with Ty, and now it's Theodore.
00:29It was a lot of changes.
00:31Do you think that with COVID, he'll be confused, or do you think that would confuse him now?
00:36We got bagels and Nana. Can you say Nana?
00:40We met on Tinder. I swiped right on him just because I thought he had a great smile.
00:44I was like, wow, you have such a great smile. And then he was like, you too, and you look good.
00:49And I was like, well, you know.
00:51My name is Theodore.
00:53My name is Dontez.
00:54Theodore told me he was trans.
00:56Day one, on Tinder, I read his bio.
00:58And actually, I think he told me in the text as well, you know, like, yeah, I'm trans.
01:02Yeah, cool. Anyway, how was your day?
01:05Because it's not a thing for me.
01:09I've always been pansexual, so it didn't really matter to me.
01:13I like to smile. I like his face. I said, you're going to be mine.
01:16As soon as we started going out, I was like, I want a baby.
01:20A lot of people say that we rushed into that when we had our baby, but it was just so natural.
01:25You have to want a baby, and we both wanted a baby.
01:28Dakota is our biological son.
01:31So since, you know, I was born a female, I still have my reproductive parts.
01:35So I was able to carry my own son, to think of this guy over here.
01:40And he just turned 18 months yesterday.
01:44My transition journey, medically, it started in 2018 when I started testosterone.
01:50And then after that, I was able to get my gender marker and name changed.
01:55And then in 2020 is when I got top surgery.
01:58What I had to do to have him, I had to stop my medical transition.
02:01So I couldn't take any testosterone.
02:04And I was on testosterone for about three years before I had him.
02:07So bless you. Bless you.
02:10So I was fully transitioned before I had him or even had a thought of having him.
02:16So I had to stop testosterone.
02:18I stopped eight months just so I can start having my cycles back.
02:22It took almost a whole year to even conceive him.
02:25Dakota has a very bubbly personality.
02:28He is so likable. He is warm, cuddly.
02:31But he does have his sassy moment.
02:40So it really started when I was posted on TikTok.
02:44I was, like, big.
02:46I thought it was going to be a big baby, but he only came out, like, five pounds.
02:50And that video blew up. There's, like, 21 million views on it.
02:54The other one was me announcing my pregnancy.
02:57And I posted, like, me being pregnant.
02:59All the months I was pregnant, like, how small I was to how big I got.
03:03And then a picture of him at the end. And people were like, that's fake.
03:06I was like, it's not, though.
03:09That's actually my son.
03:11I actually had this baby.
03:13It was definitely mixed reviews.
03:15There was a lot of people that were saying that child is abused.
03:19Somebody should call CPS.
03:21It's a joke. That dude just got fat.
03:25This one kind of hurt the most.
03:27It was like, how come I lost two pregnancies,
03:30and I lost my son 10 days ago at 17 weeks,
03:34but you had your kid? This is so unfair.
03:36They were like, how is this not considered child abuse?
03:39How is it child abuse? Do you see a single bruise on my son?
03:42Do you see how he's malnourished?
03:44If you identify as a male,
03:46why would you want to do women things that only women can experience?
03:49Makes no sense.
03:51I'm not trying to take anything away from women.
03:53You're just trying to make it yours.
03:55You've got to claim everything.
03:57And I'm like, I literally just wanted a baby.
03:59Please calm down. It was never that deep.
04:01But then there was some that were like, congratulations,
04:04and you're going to be a great parent,
04:06and I support you, and I love you.
04:08Don't let the hate stop you.
04:10These people, they mean nothing.
04:12You focus on people that love you, not people that hate you.
04:15That's going to make your life better.
04:17My family kind of pushed the mom role on me,
04:21and kind of your family too.
04:23I don't ever mind taking the mom role
04:26because I've seen a bunch of even men,
04:28they're like, I'm the mom.
04:30So I'm kind of taking it as,
04:32I don't really think it has a gender either.
04:35It's just a role. It's just a role you play.
04:37I just know that I am his parent.
04:39I gave birth to him. He is mine.
04:41And I'm still a transgender man.
04:43I started taking testosterone again
04:45when Dakota was four months old.
04:47I didn't want to take it too early
04:49where my body was completely thrown off
04:52and Dakota didn't know who I was anymore,
04:54but old enough to where he can see things
04:56and comprehend things,
04:58and he would grow on the journey with me.
05:01So I'm going to tell him when he gets older
05:04that I am transgender.
05:06That's what a lot of people don't understand
05:08because they're like, oh, you're going to exploit him
05:10because he's such a young age.
05:11No, there's a time and place.
05:13He doesn't need to know about my surgery
05:15because I'm going to keep it real simple,
05:17real, you know, PG.
05:19I would like to hope that he would not get bullied,
05:23but unfortunately it will be a part of it.
05:26I don't think he's going to get bullied too much.
05:29I think we are much more accepting
05:32of the LGBTQ plus community than before.
05:35He's going to grow up even farther away from now.
05:38There's going to be some buttheads out there,
05:40but I don't think it's going to affect it too much.
05:42If my son Dakota were ever wanting to transition,
05:46which first of all, I would never push that propaganda on him.
05:49I would wait until he's 18, until he's adult,
05:51until he can figure out if that's actually what he wants to do.
05:55The misconception is that we are a gay couple
05:58and we adopted our son.
06:00Yeah, that's number one, yeah.
06:02Which is really good because I pass, high five.
06:04Yeah, whoop, yeah.
06:06Or that we just got our son from somewhere like Craigslist or something.
06:10I said, yeah, you are so incorrect, but okay.
06:14My sisters are coming over today,
06:16Victoria and Samantha,
06:18to tell us what they think about our family dynamic.
06:22Hey, welcome in.
06:23So, how did y'all feel when I told y'all I was pregnant?
06:28I was excited.
06:29Are you excited for me?
06:30I was like, that is awesome.
06:32Did y'all think it would affect my body?
06:34Were y'all scared for me?
06:36Did y'all think it wouldn't be your sibling that you knew?
06:40That's a trick question.
06:42He went from she to identifying as a male.
06:47So it was Tiffany for most of my life,
06:50and then it was Ty, and now it's Theodore.
06:52It was a lot of changes.
06:54And like I told him, it's kind of taking a bit,
06:56because like I said, most of my life, it was her.
07:00He was my sister most of my life.
07:02And that's what I knew.
07:03Do you think that Dakota, he'll be confused,
07:06or do you think that would confuse him now,
07:08or any kind of confusion?
07:10Is there any confusion?
07:11So, right now, I don't think he'll have any confusion,
07:15but as he gets older, he might.
07:18And especially when he starts in school,
07:20it'll probably get a little more difficult.
07:23Did you have any worries or concerns
07:24when Theo stopped taking testosterone to have Koda?
07:29It's not going to put too much of a toll on his mental health.
07:32You know, that was real bad.
07:34And I felt a little bad, actually,
07:36because I was like, man, you know, this is my fault.
07:39Because I'm like, I just came into this life
07:41and gave him a baby.
07:42Look at me.
07:43Dang it!
07:44I messed up the small transition.
07:45Yay!
07:46I've already gotten top surgery, but as in bottom surgery,
07:49just not right now, not until I see a procedure out there
07:53that I like, I am happy with my body right now and how it is.
07:57Honestly, the best thing about being parents
07:59is watching them grow up, watching their personalities tune in,
08:03watching them experience the world.
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