00:00Haters call me nasty for having kids even after I found out that I had herpes.
00:04At the time that I contracted it, I was working in the adult content industry.
00:08People said a lot of really, really mean things.
00:11There was a lot of victim blaming.
00:13People were saying that I am endangering my children by, you know, deciding to have more
00:18kids.
00:18Somebody else said, just nasty.
00:20Another person said, CPS needs to be called immediately.
00:23What would you say to people who didn't call you selfish for having kids after your diagnosis?
00:32I have two kids, Preston and Priya.
00:35Preston is four and Priya is almost one and a half.
00:38Right now I'm just making some breakfast for them.
00:41Oh, what are you making?
00:43I'm making you some sausage and pancakes.
00:46Okay.
00:47Yeah, I always wanted to be a mom.
00:49I love watching them like learn and experience things for the first time.
00:54They're just so curious.
00:56I was diagnosed with herpes about three years ago, HSV2, so the genital.
01:02I get outbreaks, sores down below, very painful, painful sores.
01:08What kind of work were you doing around this time?
01:11I was working in the adult content industry and also working online as an influencer, content
01:16creator, and a lot of people assumed that it was due to my work in the adult industry that led
01:23to
01:23my diagnosis, which is completely false.
01:25I do know who gave me herpes.
01:27I really didn't know anything about herpes before I was diagnosed.
01:30My doctor actually really didn't give me any advice on how to deal with it or anything.
01:35She just prescribed a medication and told me my diagnosis.
01:40I'm about to work out.
01:42It's hard when you have kids and they like to distract you.
01:45It's really hard to find time for yourself, but in order to take care of everybody else,
01:51you also have to take care of you.
01:52So I've noticed since I started working out, like I have a lot more energy and I just feel
01:58more positive and productive throughout the day.
02:01When you're a mom, it feels like you never finished with everything you have to do.
02:06Like there's always something that you could be doing.
02:08As a mom, having herpes really doesn't affect my day-to-day life.
02:12It doesn't affect what I'm able to provide for my kids or how much I love them or the way
02:18that
02:18I love them.
02:19I think if anything, it makes me a better mom because I'll be able to teach them more
02:24so how to protect themselves and things to watch out for.
02:27The doctors really didn't give me any more information about whether I would be able
02:31to have kids safely or not when I found out my diagnosis.
02:35So I did some research on my own, like right away, because one of my biggest fears was that
02:40I wouldn't be able to have more kids.
02:42I decided to have Priya with her father.
02:45Not too long into our relationship, I knew I wanted to have more kids.
02:48I was worried because I didn't want, you know, the chance of me to have an outbreak
02:53when it was time for me to have her.
02:55I was scared that I could pass that on to her, but I did everything that I could to protect
03:02her
03:02from that and take care of my body so that I could take care of her.
03:05I believe that if I was experiencing an outbreak at the time that I had her, I believe that it
03:11can be
03:12not only passed to the baby, but it can cause, I believe, blindness and other health issues in
03:17infants.
03:17So it is pretty severe if you aren't taking care of yourself or you're unaware that you have it or,
03:22you know, you're not monitoring if there's an outbreak.
03:25So it is something that you do have to take some consideration into pregnancy on
03:30it, but it's not going to stop you from having that experience.
03:34I stayed on my medication for my entire pregnancy to make sure I wasn't having any outbreaks.
03:39I knew that if I was having an outbreak, I would just have that C-section.
03:43I felt so relieved when I had her and she was healthy and there was no issues or complications.
03:49So this is the day before she was born. I was set to be induced the next day and I
03:55just wanted
03:55some like last minute maternity photos of myself. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to see what she
04:00looked like and just to hold her and just hope that everything went well. I was really nervous
04:06and she gave me a really big belly. But I had a healthy pregnancy. As you can see, she's very,
04:14very healthy.
04:15Who would you say to people who would call you selfish for having kids after your diagnosis?
04:20I don't think that it's selfish of me to still choose to have kids, even though I have herpes,
04:25because I still have so much love to give. And as long as I take care of my body, it's
04:31not really a risk
04:32to them. Since it's genital, that skin is not ever really exposed in that way. So there's no risk of
04:39them coming into contact with a sore if I were to have one. If you have HSV-1 and you
04:43have a cold sore
04:44and you kiss your baby, it can be passed that way. So, you know, thankfully I don't have that worry.
04:50There's really no risk for them at all now. I started sharing my journey with herpes online from
04:56the minute that I found out. I've just always been open and honest about it. I think a lot of
05:01people
05:01were more so shocked that I just was so blatant to put it online and to post myself so vulnerably
05:07and expose such a, you know, a dark time. The video that I posted of me crying was from,
05:14you know, literally the moment that I found out. If you are sexually active and you know that you
05:21have an STD, then you need to inform people of that. And I was just hurt. I was confused. I
05:29wasn't
05:29sure you know exactly what had happened. I wanted to empower other people and just let them know that,
05:35like, you don't have to be ashamed of it. It's not something that we should keep putting this, like,
05:43shame around because people aren't going to feel comfortable, to be honest. The judgment for being
05:48a mom with herpes is wild. People said a lot of really, really mean things. There was a lot of
05:53victim
05:54blaming. I think there's a lot of misconceptions around the transmission and, you know, how people
06:00can get it. And people like to assume that it automatically means that you were sleeping around
06:07or you had multiple partners and you could be a virgin and then get herpes. A huge judgment that
06:13I got was that I would no longer be able to breastfeed. And that's false. I was able to breastfeed.
06:19I want to
06:19address the misconception that having herpes means that you have had or do have a lot of partners.
06:25This is completely false. You can be a virgin and still get herpes. It's passed via skin to skin.
06:30So it's not passed through bodily fluids like breast milk or blood, etc. This person said she's a
06:37worker. She brought this to herself. So they assume that because I'm a worker that that means,
06:45you know, I'm putting myself at risk of catching something. And so that must be how I got it,
06:50which is false. It's not how I got it. Somebody else said just nasty. I'm not nasty. Help the child.
06:57CPS needs to be called immediately. What are you going to tell CPS when you call them? I don't know.
07:03That's a really tough burden to carry and leads to many difficult health reactions. I personally
07:08wouldn't put a child through it, but to eat her own. I think that's somebody who just is uneducated.
07:13They don't really understand that, you know, it hasn't caused any health issues for my children
07:18at all. If people with herpes didn't have babies, there would be way less people on the planet.
07:23That's very true. There's a lot of people who do have herpes who have healthy children and big
07:28families. Somebody else said it's free to mind your own business and let people live their lives
07:33their way. Thank you, Gloria. Very true. I think that me sharing my story has helped a lot of people
07:39and it's going to continue to help a lot of people. I wouldn't say that I've ever felt ashamed based
07:46off of the comments that people have left because I know that it's not coming from a place of reality.
07:51I know that they don't know me. They don't know the details of the story. So what I love about
07:56my kids
07:57is that they are goofy. They have their own unique personalities. Like he is one of the silliest
08:03little guys you'll ever meet. And her, she's just so sweet and like docile. She's very laid back.
08:09And you wanted to be a big brother, right? I always wanted him to be a big brother
08:14because I knew she would be really good at it. The best part about being Preston and Priya's mom
08:18is getting to watch them and just seeing who they become as people. I want to teach people that
08:24herpes is not as bad as people make it out to be. It's not the end of the world. And
08:30you can still
08:30have a very healthy and full life even if you have it. What would you say to those who tried
08:35to you?
08:36Humble yourself because it could happen to you a lot easier than you think.
08:55I don't know.
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