- 11 hours ago
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00:04I opened the cafe with my friend Boo.
00:07Yeah, she's dead now.
00:08Thank you for coming in today.
00:09That kind of thing won't get you very far here anymore.
00:12I suppose you should meet Hilary.
00:15She's beautiful.
00:17Mum died three years ago.
00:20All right, Dad.
00:21Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters
00:23was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures,
00:25start fucking our godmother, and eventually stop calling.
00:27Did you take your sculpture?
00:28What sculpture?
00:32Martin's being lovely.
00:33I am not drunk.
00:34Always drunk.
00:35Jake's her stepson.
00:36He's really weird, probably clinically,
00:38but no one really talks about that.
00:40No.
00:40I got the Finland promotion.
00:42That's amazing.
00:44People make mistakes.
00:45Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday.
00:49I'm just going to say this once.
00:50He didn't try to kiss you.
00:52He says it was more like the other way around.
00:54How can you believe me?
00:55How can I believe you?
00:56Because I'm your sister.
00:58After what you did to Boo?
01:00I'm sorry.
01:01You should go.
01:03I'll go.
01:21Strangers in the night, exchanging glances,
01:26wondering in the night.
01:29What were the chances we'd be sharing love
01:35before the night was through?
01:42Can I do anything?
01:43Something in your eyes
01:45No, thank you.
01:46Was so inviting.
01:48Something in your smile
01:50Was so exciting.
01:53Something in my heart
01:55Told me I must have you
02:07This is a love story.
02:13You know when you've done everything?
02:15When you've been all...
02:20Do you want to have sex?
02:24No.
02:26Can I at least go down on you?
02:28No!
02:45You've done everything
02:46To love
02:46And engaged
02:47To love
02:48To love
02:49To love
02:49Hey!
02:50Hey!
02:52Congratulations, you assholes.
03:04So it means a great deal to both of us that you, we, the family, are all together here
03:17for a, for a very special family, uh, gangbang, um, it's just, you know, being here, uh, you
03:30know, I, I know we've had our, because I, I, I have the feeling, um, in here, so I just
03:43want to say very much, and that's it.
03:53Oh, darling.
03:54Congratulations, Dan.
03:55Congratulations.
03:56Cheers.
03:56May these be the worst of our days.
03:58I don't know who this guy is.
04:01Happy for you, old boy.
04:02Best decision a man can make.
04:04Ugh.
04:05You look well.
04:07Right.
04:07Wine, everyone?
04:08I love some wine.
04:09Oh, you'll adore it.
04:10I chose it.
04:11And not for us, thanks.
04:13Off the sauce.
04:14Six months and counting.
04:15Why?
04:16Why'd you do that?
04:17We just enjoy each other more this way.
04:21Haven't seen her since.
04:25Except for...
04:26Nice jumpsuit.
04:28You look well.
04:28Where have you been?
04:29Boots.
04:30It's lovely there this time of year.
04:34Oh, you look fantastic.
04:36Oh, well, you both look gorgeous.
04:38Oh, thank you.
04:39Is that fur?
04:41Yes, but it's okay because it had a stroke.
04:43Oh.
04:44Oh, lovely.
04:46I can't go to hell for that, can I, Father?
04:48No.
04:49Not as long as you confess.
04:50Oh, God, he's their priest.
04:51Then you have nothing to fucking worry about.
04:53Their cool, sweary priest.
04:54Love the Catholics.
04:55You can get away with anything.
04:56A lot of them did.
04:59It's an honour to be marrying you two.
05:01I didn't realise you were allowed out without your little doggy thing.
05:04Oh, sorry.
05:05Have I disappointed you?
05:07Of course not.
05:08Devastated.
05:09Can I get you another bottle?
05:10Needy waitress.
05:11Oh, no, it's all right.
05:12We've already ordered wine.
05:13Oh, no, really?
05:14Yeah.
05:15I'll have a tequila.
05:16I'll have a tequila.
05:17Great.
05:18Thank you so much.
05:19Can I get a glass of sparkling water with a dash of lime, please?
05:22Oh, yes.
05:23I'll have the same.
05:24Dream team.
05:26You know, the most fascinating thing about father here is that his mother was originally
05:31a lesbian.
05:42You do look tired.
05:43Oh, it's not as exhausting as I thought it would be, actually.
05:46She's commuting from Finland.
05:47She has narrowed down her packing to a ten-minute turnaround.
05:50It's fabulous.
05:52It's all about...
05:53Rolling it up, rather than...
05:54Holding it.
05:55I've read about that.
05:56You sure you don't want any wine?
05:58Oh, no, thank you.
06:00It really is delicious.
06:01I admire you both so much.
06:03Well, it's really turned us around, hasn't it, honey?
06:05Oh, so much more energy.
06:06You know, in Finland...
06:07Is there a reason that you're not drinking?
06:09He's an alcoholic.
06:10Oh, fun.
06:10My parents are alcoholics.
06:11Oh, great.
06:12We thought it would be easier if we did it together, and I don't really like the taste.
06:15And we are trying for a baby.
06:19Oh, Claire.
06:20We thought you couldn't have them.
06:22What?
06:22Why?
06:22Well, you just seem a little...
06:24Well, they say a lifestyle change can help, so here we go.
06:27That is so exciting, darling.
06:30Oh, I think so.
06:30Good luck.
06:31That's wonderful.
06:32Something's up.
06:33And now you have the money to pay for proper help.
06:36Ghastly without help, I imagine.
06:38Tell us about Finland.
06:39Oh, well, it's, um, cold and beautiful and dark.
06:44I think she might be happy.
06:45It's a lot of pressure, but I love it.
06:47I have this amazing new partner out there.
06:48He's really pushed the company forward.
06:50Do you know?
06:50I can't remember the last time you went away.
06:52Weren't you both in Japan recently?
06:54Japan?
06:55Wow.
06:55Oh, yes.
06:56That was just a little fortnight.
06:58Don't ask her.
06:58Why were you in Japan?
06:59Well, the...
07:00Oh, sorry, darling.
07:01Oh, no, no.
07:04They flew us over with this exhibition.
07:06It really made it better.
07:07Sorry, darling.
07:08Do you want to...
07:08No, no, no.
07:09No?
07:10You see, you think of the Japanese as a very prudish people.
07:13Well, we're not a general lad.
07:14But actually, they have a very deep interest in sex and their culture.
07:17It's just hidden in the underbelly.
07:18It's not allowed to come to the surface.
07:20Fair enough.
07:20They really appreciate the...
07:22The honesty of the sex position, whereas the...
07:23The Americans.
07:24Oh, well.
07:25They just took me in this drive.
07:26But the Japanese were deeply moved by my work, I think.
07:29Weren't they, darling?
07:30Yeah.
07:30It caused quite a cultural wave.
07:32Ripple.
07:33Ripple.
07:34Wave.
07:36No-one's asked me a question in 45 minutes.
07:37So what do you do?
07:43Er, I run a cafe.
07:45Oh.
07:46Oh.
07:46It's going well, is it?
07:48Yes.
07:49It is.
07:50It really is.
07:51It actually is.
07:54It is.
07:59Can I get anyone any ice?
08:02Yes.
08:19Fellow smoker.
08:21Do you have a spare one?
08:22Sure.
08:23Yes.
08:31So do your family get together much, or...
08:35Well, fuck you then.
08:49We should wait.
08:51OK.
08:55Hmm.
08:56Hmm.
09:05Such a lovely man.
09:06Yes.
09:06Very nice.
09:07Did you have a cigarette?
09:09Yeah.
09:09I just...
09:10I wish you could have seen him in a...
09:11You know how they can't even masturbate.
09:12Shit alive, man.
09:14Oh, sorry.
09:14Hey!
09:16You were just saying, it's fascinating, the notion of a calling.
09:20Yeah.
09:20Well, marriage is a calling too, of course.
09:23Yeah.
09:23Did you always want to join the priesthood?
09:24Oh, fuck no.
09:27Sorry.
09:29No, no, no.
09:30I came quite late to it, actually.
09:31But it's been a really good life to me.
09:34I've really found peace in it.
09:37Is anyone in your family in the church?
09:38Actually, both my parents are lawyers, and my brother is a long-distance lorry dryer.
09:42How unusual.
09:43Are your parents successful?
09:45They were very successful alcoholics.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Better than you, anyway.
09:50No, but beyond them, my family literally crawling with nuns, so it wasn't too much of a leap.
09:56Must be hard on the balls.
09:58Not too.
09:59Not as hard on them as trying to make a baby for five months, I imagine.
10:02Food good?
10:03The sauce is disgusting.
10:05Is everything okay?
10:06It was delicious.
10:07Great, lovely.
10:08Lovely, lovely, lovely.
10:12And darling?
10:13No, no, we'll just pour our own wine, please.
10:16Oh, I actually love doing it.
10:18You can pour me some.
10:19Oh, thank you.
10:21So, do you do a lot of older weddings?
10:23I don't think that's how we...
10:25No, this is my first ever wedding, actually.
10:27Oh!
10:29Do you know, I've always been so suspicious of religion, but I must say, I think there's
10:33something rather chic about having a real priest at a wedding.
10:36Are you a real priest?
10:39Yeah.
10:42Do you know, it's so nice, spending time getting to know the man who's going to marry us.
10:45Is that usual?
10:47No.
10:48But I'm new to the parish, and I guess I'm just...
10:54I'm really fucking lonely, so...
10:57I appreciate this, thank you very much.
10:59New to the parish?
10:59My father, Patrick, sadly died, so I got the gig.
11:04What did he die of?
11:06Just, erm, a time.
11:10But he was a dedicated man, he was a brilliant priest.
11:13Sounds like a riot.
11:15He was.
11:16Actually.
11:22Do you know how we met?
11:24No.
11:25Through Jake.
11:26Creepy stepson.
11:27He plays the flute.
11:28The sound.
11:29In the church band.
11:30Just adorable.
11:32And Claire introduced us, and we just hit it off.
11:35Didn't we?
11:36We did, yeah.
11:37We did.
11:38She's donating a painting for the face, it's going to cause quite the stir.
11:42Oh, it's just an old one, but...
11:44Now listen, we don't want gifts at the wedding.
11:47I mean, it's enough that people slog it over without then expecting a gift.
11:51So we've decided to ask people to make a small donation
11:54to a charity of their choosing in our name.
11:57That sounds lovely.
11:59Do you want to know what gift I'm giving your father?
12:01Oh, God.
12:02It's a portrait.
12:03Oh, God.
12:03Of you girls.
12:05Oh, God.
12:07Erm...
12:07You mean...
12:08Together or all?
12:09I'd only need a couple of sittings.
12:11Right, can't use photos.
12:12No, because the lighting's never good enough.
12:14And if you're not very photogenic, then it does you no favours.
12:17And besides, the only photos there are of you two together
12:19are of when you were children.
12:21And you look like a boy, so...
12:23He never told me you had a sister, Claire.
12:25Oh, well, we, erm...
12:27We don't get to see each other much.
12:29Do you...
12:30Do you see your brother?
12:31Oh, I don't really speak to my brother.
12:33Oh, God.
12:34How desperately sad.
12:35Why is that?
12:36Oh.
12:37Erm...
12:37Well...
12:38You don't have to.
12:39No, no, that's okay.
12:39Does he not approve of what you do of your choices?
12:41No, no, no, it's not that.
12:42It's not that.
12:42Is he...
12:43Is he not in the church?
12:44No, he's not in the church.
12:45Oh, it must be so hard.
12:46Well, it's mainly hard because...
12:47Is it because he's Mummy's favourite?
12:48Because he's a paedophile.
12:52Oh.
13:00I'm aware of the irony of that.
13:01Hmm.
13:03Leave it as a please.
13:17Just a...
13:18Just a breath of air.
13:21Interesting man.
13:23Mm.
13:26No thanks.
13:31Darling, I...
13:32Sorry, I missed your birthday, so I just got...
13:34Oh, that's okay.
13:35No, no, I just...
13:36In case you're struggling.
13:39Oh, Dad, the cafe's going well, right?
13:40I don't...
13:40No, no, no, this is not for work.
13:42It's just for you.
13:46Thanks.
13:51You look...
13:54Strong.
13:55Thanks.
13:56Are you?
13:58Are we going to have a fight?
14:00No, no, no.
14:01I just want to check that you're...
14:04That you and I are...
14:07Well, you're being very...
14:11Well, you're not being naughty.
14:14No.
14:15Why?
14:17Because...
14:18I guess...
14:19Yeah.
14:21It doesn't matter.
14:27No.
14:31I can...
14:33I sound right.
14:38I'm happy for you, Dad.
14:55You're an exceptional waitress.
14:57Apple juice.
14:59Yeah.
15:01I...
15:03I just want to say, I am so intrigued to see how you're going to make this whole evening about
15:10yourself.
15:15Oh, no.
15:17We probably shouldn't arrive at the table together.
15:22A lot of people would say praying is just talking to yourself in the dark.
15:26I guess it could look like that, but...
15:28No, it's more just about connecting with yourself at the end of each day.
15:32It takes a bit of effort, but it's a positive way...
15:34Yes, yes. I completely agree. Positive energy takes work.
15:37Yes.
15:37In the last six months, I've excelled.
15:39I take all the negative emotions and just bottle them and bury them, and they never come out.
15:43I'm not sure it's true.
15:43I've basically never been better.
15:45Al's neither.
15:46I feel fantastic.
15:47We're a very positive family, let's say.
15:49Oh, absolutely.
15:50I think it's all about positivity.
15:51It takes real commitment to be this happy.
15:53It's not just about eating and drinking well, either.
15:56Putting pine nuts on your salad doesn't make you a grown-up.
15:58It fucking does.
15:59It's about...
16:00Well, in Finland, we, um...
16:02Oh, they have this saying, which I can't quite remember now.
16:05It's, um...
16:06It's about opening yourself up to the people who want to love you.
16:10And she is wide open lately.
16:12What do you do?
16:13Oh, I work in finance.
16:15What?
16:15What?
16:16Across two firms, one in Finland and one here.
16:18No, no, she's a lawyer.
16:19I thought you were a lawyer.
16:20No.
16:20Why?
16:21I work with lawyers.
16:23I'm not a lawyer.
16:23Darling, you are a solicitor.
16:25I went to business school.
16:27You're being so quiet.
16:29Why aren't you saying anything?
16:35What do you want me to say?
16:37Anything.
16:38What's that in your hand?
16:40She doesn't need to tell you.
16:41Birthday present from Dad.
16:42It's a good thing, Claire.
16:43Chunk of change?
16:44No, it's, uh...
16:45What is it?
16:46Don't know.
16:47You don't need to open it.
16:48Low presents and never get presents.
16:49Well, it's because you might...
16:51It's a voucher.
16:52For a counselling session.
16:56Thanks, Dad.
16:58So thoughtful.
16:58I'd kill for one of those.
17:00I don't believe you can pay your problems away.
17:02I think you have to face who you are and suffer the consequences.
17:05It's the only road to happiness.
17:06Maybe happiness isn't in what you believe, but who you believe.
17:08Love me and love me so.
17:17Fuck.
17:18Excuse me.
17:23Oh!
17:24Do you think she needs anything?
17:25No.
17:25No.
17:26No.
17:31That was meant to be a bedroom present.
17:34A what?
17:34A present that you open in your bedroom alone.
17:37All my presents are bedroom presents, aren't they?
17:40No.
17:41No.
17:42You want some more wine?
17:42Oh, yes.
17:52Claire?
17:54Claire?
17:54You've been ages.
17:56You pissed off were you doing a poo?
17:57Fuck.
18:00Fuck it.
18:02Claire, can we just...
18:03Have you got a sanitary towel?
18:07Oh, no.
18:08But I know a waitress who would jump on that request.
18:11Do you want me to ask her?
18:11No.
18:12Well, there are some sturdy hand towels here.
18:16I could try and fashion something with wings out of these.
18:20Yes, fine.
18:21Open the door.
18:24The fuck?
18:25Just give me a fuck.
18:26Give it to me.
18:27Don't come in.
18:28It's a period.
18:29It's not going to bite me.
18:30Don't look at it.
18:31Come on, looking at your period.
18:33Just take this.
18:34Oh, God.
18:35It's not a period.
18:36It's a fucking miscarriage, okay?
18:42Jesus, Claire.
18:43It's...
18:43It's okay.
18:44No, it's not okay.
18:45You need to go to hospital.
18:46It's fine.
18:47I just need to...
18:48Heather, let me just...
18:48No!
18:49Just get your hands off my miscarriage.
18:55It's mine.
18:57It's mine.
19:17Okay.
19:20Claire.
19:23It's okay.
19:24It's okay.
19:26Okay, we need to go to hospital now.
19:28Now.
19:34Yes.
19:36Okay.
19:37Okay.
19:39Okay.
19:39Okay.
19:44Come on.
19:45It's all good.
19:46Okay.
19:49Don't tell anyone.
19:50Okay.
19:50Let's get the coats.
19:51I'll get a taxi.
19:52I'll tell them I don't feel right.
19:53Okay.
19:54I mean, I've never been there.
19:56I get antiques from there all the time.
19:58I still haven't gone.
19:59I can understand.
20:00It's a wonderful place to buy things about.
20:01Yeah.
20:04I don't like all the water.
20:05Fuck it.
20:06I'm having some.
20:07Sorry, darling.
20:08Oh, good girl.
20:10One night off.
20:11Oh, what did you say to her?
20:14Oh, nothing.
20:15I just sit down.
20:17Come on.
20:17It's party.
20:18Can I have some?
20:19Oh, someone's suddenly getting into the party spirit.
20:22Sit down.
20:23What are you taking there?
20:25Your sister is finally a good influence on you.
20:27No, we just suddenly realize what a monumental fucking day this is.
20:31Drink.
20:32Honestly, just leave them in there two minutes and they're suddenly being teenagers again.
20:36Should I get another bottle?
20:37Yes.
20:38Okay.
20:39We were just talking about Bennet and this wonderful trip we had.
20:43I mean, how many times have we said we have to go to Bennet?
20:45Oh, I've always wanted to go there.
20:46How have we not been there yet?
20:46Top of my list.
20:47Yeah, I know.
20:49Oh, for fuck's sake!
20:49Who knows what will go next?
20:50Stop it!
20:56Are you okay?
20:58Yeah, I'm, uh...
21:02Uh...
21:02Is, um...
21:03Is it...
21:04No, I'm sorry.
21:05I just...
21:06Here we go.
21:07Sorry, I just...
21:08What's happened?
21:08Nothing's happened.
21:09What's happened?
21:10Something's happened.
21:11Come on.
21:12Come on.
21:13I just...
21:14I just...
21:14I just had a little...
21:16I just...
21:16I just had a little...
21:18I just...
21:18This is a safe space.
21:19I just...
21:20I had a...
21:21Little miscarriage.
21:28Oh, my God!
21:30What?
21:31Um...
21:31What the fuck?
21:33Uh...
21:34How far gone were you?
21:35I used to go to the hospital.
21:36Whose was it?
21:37No, maybe leave that for later.
21:38Was it the tooth man?
21:38Hospital now.
21:40What about the bills?
21:40No, I'll cover her.
21:41I'll cover you.
21:42She doesn't want to go.
21:43Why?
21:44Because I'm stubborn and for some inexplicable reason,
21:45I'd rather stay here and have a passive-aggressive party.
21:47So...
21:47How far gone were you?
21:48It was very early stages.
21:50You knew.
21:51I really think she should see a doctor.
21:52Yeah, so do I.
21:53I thought you hadn't spoken.
21:54She's fine.
21:55She's absolutely fine.
21:57Drink.
21:58If it's gone, it's gone.
22:00Claire.
22:01What if it's not gone?
22:02It's gone.
22:03Darling.
22:04Hey.
22:04Probably ectopic.
22:06Oh.
22:07I'll pay you back.
22:08Do you need someone to go with you?
22:09No, I think I'll just deal with this in my own insane,
22:11irrational, anal way, if that's okay.
22:13That's probably for the best.
22:15What did you say?
22:16Ignore him.
22:17He's been drinking.
22:18What?
22:18Just, you know, it's like a goldfish out the bowl sort of thing.
22:22If it didn't want to be in there, it didn't want to be in there.
22:24Something wasn't right.
22:28What?
22:28It's the kid's choice if it wants to jump ship, right?
22:32No, Martin.
22:33Just...
22:34Either way...
22:36She got her a spotlight.
22:37Knocked off.
22:39Knocked off.
22:40Oh!
22:42Oh.
22:42Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:44What the fuck?
22:45Fuck!
22:47Geez!
22:49Jesus!
22:49Oh, man, I can do this.
22:51Oh.
22:53Oh, fuck!
22:55Oh, for God's sake!
23:10Can I do anything?
23:12No, thank you.
23:15They've gone.
23:19So...
23:32Oh, hey.
23:33I got your stuff.
23:35You okay?
23:36Thanks.
23:36Yeah.
23:36You okay?
23:37Yeah.
23:37Yeah.
23:38If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be there.
23:45I'm always there.
24:03Hey!
24:05Hey!
24:22Thank you!
24:23Just tell him where you live, and we'll talk about this tomorrow.
24:27Can you take us to the nearest hospital, please?
24:29Yeah.
24:47The priest is quite hot.
24:49It's so hot.
25:08The priest is quite hot.
25:09This is the mayor of Mountiques.
25:09We'll be right back on the next slide.
25:10See you next time.
25:10Bye.