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00:00We haven't had the opportunity to support any women-led businesses since the...
00:05Sexual harassment case.
00:07Yes, a sexual harassment case.
00:08It's a 7pm arrival tonight for a 7.30 surprise, okay?
00:13Surprise!
00:14Sounds like a blast.
00:16That kind of thing won't get you very far here anymore.
00:18What are you craving?
00:20Just a basic bunny would be great.
00:21For you?
00:22For my very sexually frustrated sister.
00:24Did your father tell you that one of my pieces has gone missing?
00:27Just don't tell her you got the statue from me, okay?
00:29You're just tipping your prime.
00:34Are you okay?
00:35Yeah?
00:36You're an asshole.
00:37Tell the truth.
00:43You cannot know this.
00:45No one can hold a map in their head.
00:47I can.
00:48It's three turnings away.
00:50I'm so gonna get this wrong.
00:52Stop it.
00:53What?
00:53I can feel you judging my driving.
00:55I'm not judging your driving.
00:59Can I go of the handle, then?
01:01Oh, we were supposed to go down that turning.
01:03What?
01:03Yeah.
01:04You said three turnings.
01:05I know.
01:05I missed one.
01:07Just use your phone.
01:08You have a sat-nav on your phone.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10There.
01:11Mindful.
01:12Oh, God.
01:12Farm.
01:13There it is.
01:13We're going the right way.
01:15I was right.
01:21Do you know what the lesbian app for Grindr is called?
01:28Twat now.
01:33Don't make this fun.
01:41It's okay.
01:42I'm fucking okay.
01:43I'm excellent.
01:46I know I seem mental, but I'm fine.
01:49Okay.
01:50I just...
01:51I just sometimes need...
01:54need you not to...
01:55To take the piss.
01:56Don't finish my sentences.
01:58Sorry.
01:58Take the piss.
01:59Out of you and your...
02:00You don't always know what I'm going to say, okay?
02:03Sorry.
02:04Out of...
02:05Out of her when she's driving.
02:07Me while I'm driving.
02:11Sorry.
02:13Is it at...
02:14At home or...
02:16Work or Martin or...
02:18I'm fine.
02:19It's fine.
02:20Martin's being lovely.
02:22Really?
02:24It's fine.
02:26It's fine.
02:32I'm okay.
02:37Fucking psycho.
02:43Wow.
02:44Dad really splashed out this time.
02:46He must be about to do something awful.
02:48No, it's just Mother's Day.
02:50Oh.
02:52Happy Mother's Day.
02:55We're not supposed to bond on this, are we?
02:57Because I really don't think that's going to end well.
02:59We're not supposed to talk at all.
03:01It's a silent retreat.
03:03God help us.
03:06How's everything at the cafe?
03:07You...
03:07You really don't have to.
03:11Hi.
03:12Hi.
03:12Good morning.
03:13Hello.
03:13Hello.
03:15Hello.
03:25Come on.
03:27They're probably going to think we're a couple.
03:30The fact that your mind even goes there is beyond disturbing.
03:34Hey.
03:34We'd make a really cute couple.
03:39Sluts!
03:43Yes?
03:45We're going to die here.
03:46We're going to be raped and die.
03:49Every cloud.
03:51Oh, just open the fucking door.
03:54It's been fucking forever.
03:58Welcome.
03:59Thank you so much.
04:01Yeah.
04:01It's really wonderful.
04:02Really beautiful grounds.
04:03Extraordinary energy, yeah.
04:05I see you've been gifted this retreat.
04:08How lucky you both are.
04:10I hope after this weekend you'll feel rested, inspired.
04:15Do you have Wi-Fi?
04:16No.
04:18Um, would you like two single beds or a double?
04:20A double.
04:21Two singles, please.
04:24Actually, do you have a separate room?
04:26I'm afraid not.
04:27Everyone has to share here.
04:29It's part of the communal.
04:30Singles, then.
04:31Do you get newspapers in the morning?
04:32No, we try to keep the outside world on the outside during your stay here.
04:36You'll appreciate it in the end.
04:38I promise.
04:40So, here is your key.
04:43I hope you have a restful weekend.
04:45You too.
04:49Well, no papers.
04:51You don't read the news.
04:53Yes, I do.
04:55What happened yesterday?
04:57Stinging all white jeans and a puppy got stuck in a fan.
05:00Big day.
05:05What's that for?
05:06My neck and chest.
05:08What's that for?
05:09My legs and knees.
05:11What's that for?
05:12Ends of my hair.
05:14What's that?
05:15For my under eyes.
05:16What's that?
05:18That is for my face and body.
05:21What would you do if someone stole all of those?
05:23I'd kill myself.
05:25Why are there no plug sockets in here?
05:27Don't touch my stuff.
05:30What are these for?
05:31Nothing.
05:33Mm-hmm.
05:34What?
05:35Well, it's just...
05:36Why would you bring such tiny batteries?
05:40I'm just prepared.
05:42Just have any of a...
05:43I've seen them used for remote controls.
05:45Yes, well...
05:46Or alarm clocks.
05:46Yes, all right.
05:47Yeah, vibrators.
05:48Yes, all right.
05:49Megan, you didn't have to ask for a separate room.
05:52What?
05:52If you want to have a wank, I can give you some space.
05:55Oh, my God.
05:56If you want to take ten minutes, I'll just go into the bathroom and moisturise my wrists
05:59for a bit.
06:00You're so immature.
06:01Oh, give it a minute.
06:02Oh, God.
06:05Seriously.
06:06What is wrong with your insides?
06:07Why didn't you bring the tiny batteries?
06:18Ah-ha.
06:20You're a genius.
06:22Always know where the reserves are.
06:25Let go of your past.
06:28Bit on the nose?
06:30Now is the time to let it go.
06:32Open up your senses, close your mouth, and live now.
06:37Welcome to the female-only breath-of-silence retreat.
06:42Women don't speak.
06:45Um, sorry.
06:47I think I meant to be at, um, that one.
06:54Shame.
06:56The, uh, first major consideration is, why are you here?
07:02Can anyone here answer that question?
07:05I want to shut the noise out and reconnect to my inner thoughts on the road to feeling
07:09more at one with myself.
07:11Excellent attitude.
07:13Well, you're in the right place.
07:16This weekend is about being mindful.
07:20It's about leaving your voice in your head and trapping your thoughts in your skull.
07:26Think of it as a thought prison in your mind.
07:31Firstly, we're going to teach you how to breathe.
07:33Then we will have a short meditation.
07:36Then we will find our sanctuary in the partaking of menial tasks, all in perfect silence.
07:45Principal rules are no talking.
07:47If you need to communicate with any of our other superiors, you can write on that board.
07:54Under no other circumstances must you communicate, even with each other.
07:58What if there's an emergency?
08:00Thank you all for coming here today.
08:03No matter what happens, a word must not be heard.
08:07...
08:14...
08:24...
08:25...
08:29Yeah, shh.
09:15You fucking bitch!
09:17You fucking bitch of shit!
09:30Back here, back here, back to me, back to me.
09:35All right, now, wherever it's come from,
09:37your upbringing, your experiences with women,
09:40now is the time to turn that around.
09:44To reprogram your mind, your body, and your mouth
09:50to be the better man.
09:55All right? So, this is Patricia, yeah?
10:01She's a friend.
10:03Now, Patricia has just earned a promotion at work,
10:07beating over six other candidates.
10:09She's the youngest person to ever achieve this role.
10:13What should we not say when we meet her?
10:18Clever little munchkin. Excellent.
10:20Who's you blow to get that job? Okay.
10:22Slut. You fucking stupid slut!
10:25Okay. Okay.
10:29What should we say to her?
10:36Well done, Patricia.
10:39Very good.
10:41Well done, Patricia.
10:49Well done, Patricia.
10:52Slut!
10:54Guys, it's okay. Keith, come here.
10:57Oh, my God. Um, excuse me, miss. You can't be here.
11:00Okay. You really can't be here.
11:03Is it for you all that good? Please.
11:08And now, hands up, mirror your palms, look each other in the eye, and touch.
11:24Literally her worst nightmare.
11:37Are you all right?
11:41Talk to me.
11:43It's nothing.
11:46God.
11:48I can't feel my feet.
11:51Do you remember we used to go top to toe?
11:54Our kids are so weird.
11:55We used to do that all the time.
11:57Yeah, when we were ten and cute, now we're thirty and angry.
12:00God, I'm not suggesting that we just don't.
12:02OK.
12:12Stop stealing my things.
12:15I'm just checking it's working.
12:16Oh, it's working.
12:17It's definitely working.
12:29Have fun.
12:36It's actually a really thoughtful present.
12:41And Martin getting me that sculpture.
12:44You must have bent over backwards to get something like that.
12:49I feel very lucky.
12:56I have to tell you something.
12:58What?
13:02I stole that sculpture from a certain somebody's studio, and then I tried to sell it through Martin,
13:09but Martin took it and gave it to you.
13:11Just don't put it pride of place when Dad, well, when they come over, OK?
13:17Because...
13:17Right.
13:24Claire.
13:27Claire.
13:28Claire.
13:28Shh.
13:29Go to sleep.
13:34Shit.
13:53The sooner we get home with it, the sooner we are out of it, that's a really nice outfit.
14:05Thanks.
14:09Delve into your past.
14:13Think of something you can't let go of.
14:17A moment of noise.
14:21A moment of tension.
14:29Not for now.
14:30Now, a moment when you were peaceful.
14:36If you could change anything in the whole world, what would it be?
14:40My thighs.
14:43The whole world?
14:44I don't tell anyone I said that.
14:47You?
14:49I've always been insecure about my face.
14:51You know that.
14:52I know.
14:53You shouldn't.
14:54No, thank you, but...
14:56No.
14:56Seriously, there's nothing wrong with your nose.
15:00I mean, there's nothing...
15:01Say that again.
15:02I mean, there's nothing...
15:03I don't know.
15:04Oh, my God!
15:06I always say the wrong thing!
15:15Ha!
15:16Ha!
15:17Ha!
15:18Ha!
15:28What is this?
15:30I don't even do this in my own home.
15:32Oh, it's very simple.
15:34We've paid them to let us clean their house in silence.
15:43Jesus.
15:45Ha!
15:47I don't want to come down on you like a school teacher, but I'm afraid your flagrant
15:52lack of respect for the one rule that we have here is now affecting the other students.
15:57Clients?
15:58Inmates?
15:59Cleaners?
16:00Participants!
16:02Do you have a problem with the programme?
16:05I suggest you try sitting here in silence for the next hour.
16:11It will benefit you.
16:13I swear by my soul, it will.
16:40What?
16:43I can't find anything, so you're just going to have to tell me what's going on with you.
16:47Talk.
16:48Or I will scream.
16:53I got the Finland promotion.
16:55What Finland promotion?
16:56How can you ask that I told you about it?
16:58I know, I know the Finland promotion, that's amazing!
17:01Would that mean you're a millionaire now, Andy?
17:03Don't be ridiculous.
17:06Yes, it would.
17:08Well, that money makes you cry.
17:11I'm turning it down.
17:13What?
17:15Why, Martin?
17:17Martin says it would be unfair on Jake.
17:21Jake's her stepson.
17:22He's really weird.
17:23Probably clinically, but no-one really talks about that.
17:25He freaks out.
17:27She's gone for longer than a day.
17:28And he's got this thing about trying to get in the bath with her.
17:36No.
17:37No.
17:37No, Jake.
17:38No!
17:39He's 15.
17:41He's not your son.
17:43That's not the point.
17:44Go!
17:45I knew you'd say that!
17:46This is what you've always wanted!
17:48I know!
17:49No more power suits!
17:50Fuckload of snow!
17:51I know!
17:52Perfect place for your cold, cold heart!
17:54I know!
17:55I can't!
17:56I have responsibilities!
17:57Oh, come on!
17:59Don't let other people get in the way of what you really want.
18:02Finland is what you really want.
18:04My husband isn't other people, okay?
18:07My husband is my life!
18:09Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday.
18:17Did he?
18:23Did he?
18:25Did he?
18:40Did he do this?
18:42Did he?
18:45I knew he's your husband died, bro.
18:54He's not the day.
18:54Slug!
19:01Slug!
19:07Slug!
19:15Slug!
19:17Slug!
19:29Slug!
19:30Slug!
19:31Lovely, lovely.
19:34Okay.
19:35Up on your feet, we're gonna say sorry Patricia.
19:40Sorry Patricia!
19:42Lovely, give yourselves a round of applause.
19:45All right guys, well done.
19:48We are gonna head back to that house, better men.
19:51Men, yeah? Well done. Good work. Great stuff.
19:57Go down.
20:08Go on.
20:11You can do it.
20:14You ready?
20:18Yeah, I thought I recognised you.
20:26Fair enough.
20:30Probably for the best.
20:34So is your business...
20:38...surviving?
20:44I'm sorry.
20:47No, I don't want that.
20:52So you're doing the whole...
20:54...silent escape thing.
20:58Indeed.
21:00Going well.
21:10I touched a colleague's breast...
21:13...more than once.
21:15At a party, I...
21:20They asked me to go on a workshop to...
21:26I'm just a very...
21:30...disappointing man.
21:38No thanks, I'm trying to quit.
21:41No's on the other hand.
21:51They keep asking me, what do you want from this workshop?
21:55What do you want?
21:57I'm not telling them what I want.
22:01I want to move back home.
22:05I want to hug my wife.
22:10Protect my children.
22:12Protect my daughter.
22:16I want to move on.
22:21I want to apologise...
22:24...to...
22:25...everyone.
22:29I want to go to the theatre.
22:35I want to take clean cups...
22:38...out of the dishwasher.
22:40Put them in the cupboard.
22:42At home.
22:44And the next morning...
22:45...I want to watch my wife drink from them.
22:51And I want to make her feel good.
22:56I want to make her orgasm again.
23:01And again.
23:06Truly.
23:13I just want to cry...
23:16...all the time.
23:17I want to make her feel good.
23:19...will...
23:32...to...
23:33...to...
23:35...to...
23:36...to...
23:38...to...
23:40...to...
23:40...to...
23:40...to...
23:44...to...
25:01Claire?
25:03Claire?
25:03Claire?
25:04Claire?
25:12Claire?
25:22Claire?
25:32Claire?
25:49Claire?
25:51Claire?
25:52Claire?
25:53Claire?
25:53Claire?
25:54Claire?
25:54Claire?
25:55Claire?
25:55Claire?
25:56Claire?
25:57Claire?
26:08Claire?
26:10Claire?
26:11Claire?
26:11Claire?
26:11Claire?
26:13Claire?
26:13Claire?
26:13Claire?
26:14Claire?
26:15Claire?
26:15Claire?
26:16Claire?
26:17Claire?
26:17Claire?
26:20Claire?
26:20Claire?
26:29Claire?
26:48Claire?
26:49Claire?
26:49Claire?
26:50Claire?
26:50Claire?
26:50Claire?