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TVTranscript
00:00:23I'm fucking this cat. You just hold the legs.
00:00:26Got it?
00:00:29She put the milk in Milford High. Now she's behind bars.
00:00:35Debbie Ward, a former Texas Teacher of the Year, tried to rig last year's contest so her daughter could win.
00:00:42Yeah, she kidnapped her daughter's main rival, Miss Bianca Del Rio, who I was shocked to find out was a
00:00:47dude.
00:00:48She basically got her teacher fired for just being gay.
00:00:51That's when the notorious New York homosexual returned to Milford High as the fabulous Bianca Del Rio.
00:00:57Now she don't even look like a woman. What kind of unnatural woman?
00:01:04A snake attack at a local high school. Did her breast implants save her life?
00:01:10And then Miss Delia got her revenge and it was so good.
00:01:16This is not true. This is a conspiracy.
00:01:19Vice principal Deborah Ward exposed as the infamous Miss First.
00:01:23Taker of underage male virginities.
00:01:25Hey, don't push me.
00:01:26That tampering Texas temptress Debbie Ward maintains her innocence.
00:01:30And to this day insists that Bianca Del Rio, not she, is the one who should be locked up in
00:01:37the county jail.
00:01:39Lock her up! Lock her up!
00:01:41Rise and shine, bitch.
00:01:44What are you doing here?
00:01:45You wanted me punished?
00:01:47Well, here I am.
00:01:49Who'd have thought they'd make us cellmates?
00:01:51Life's pretty fucked up, isn't it?
00:01:53This can't be happening.
00:01:54We're gonna be prison pals.
00:01:56We're gonna eat together.
00:01:57We're gonna sleep in the same cell.
00:01:59We're gonna watch each other on the toilet.
00:02:02Help! Someone get me out of here!
00:02:04We're gonna be together a long time, you and I.
00:02:07No hard feelings, Debbie.
00:02:08I might even give you a makeover.
00:02:10You'd look really pretty bald.
00:02:13Now, make sure no one's coming.
00:02:15Cause I've gotta take a huge dump.
00:02:18And boy, is it gonna stink.
00:02:27Bianca!
00:02:33One more night terror for the road, I guess.
00:02:36Lucky you.
00:02:37Now get up.
00:02:38Time for your release.
00:02:51Take a seat.
00:02:52We just have some forms for you to fill out and a little something special before you go.
00:02:57I just wanna thank you.
00:02:59This whole experience has been a revelation for me.
00:03:02I'm a new woman.
00:03:03Sure you are.
00:03:05You know, I was worried that being in solitary for so long that you might have missed out on some
00:03:09of the pleasures that prison life has to offer.
00:03:12Oh, but I didn't.
00:03:14That first night in solitary with the cockroaches crawling around my ears.
00:03:17I didn't think I was gonna make it.
00:03:19But then, I saw him.
00:03:21Saw who?
00:03:22My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
00:03:24I smashed a cockroach up against the wall with my bare hands.
00:03:27And there he was, in the goo.
00:03:29The face of Jesus.
00:03:30And right then, I knew.
00:03:33I was born again.
00:03:35Again.
00:03:36Okay, I don't think that's a thing.
00:03:37Oh, it is.
00:03:38I baptized myself in the toilet just to be sure.
00:03:41And now that I'm getting out, I'm gonna do the work God intended me to do.
00:03:45Charity shit or something?
00:03:47I'm gonna kill Bianca Del Rio.
00:03:51Excuse me?
00:03:51With kindness.
00:03:53I'm gonna kill her with Christian kindness.
00:04:00That's one crazy bitch.
00:04:03She can't even spell.
00:04:04Look at this shit.
00:04:12Watch out, Bianca Del Rio.
00:04:16I'm coming for ya.
00:04:18Is anyone gonna pick me up?
00:04:24No!
00:04:25No, no, Melanie.
00:04:26I'm pretty sure that the earth is round.
00:04:28Hey, Mr. Martinez?
00:04:29Uh, yeah.
00:04:30Can you tell me about Sputnik again?
00:04:32Oh, look at you.
00:04:32Take an interesting class.
00:04:34Isn't Sputnik Russian for potato?
00:04:35Well, actually, Sputnik was launched in 1957.
00:04:38You remember that year?
00:04:39That was the year that your grandmother slept with her uncle
00:04:41and gave birth to your dad cousin?
00:04:44Bye, kid.
00:04:46Listen, make sure you get those term papers done.
00:04:48They are due in a week.
00:04:49And I know you potheads don't want to spend your spring break doing homework.
00:04:53Surprise, bitch!
00:04:55Oh!
00:04:58What are you doing here?
00:05:00And, Rex!
00:05:03Where is Bailey?
00:05:05Oh, honey, I left Bailey kenneled up in New York City.
00:05:08She's fine.
00:05:08But, you know, Rex here is a helpless baby person, and she couldn't be left alone.
00:05:11So, ta-da!
00:05:13Hello, Rex!
00:05:14How was rehab?
00:05:15This bar looks closed.
00:05:17That's because it's a high school, baby.
00:05:19You expect Rex to know what a high school is?
00:05:21He was educated in a Barbie dream house.
00:05:23When you pull the string, the elevator goes up.
00:05:25Ooh, science 101.
00:05:27Oh, mama, it's gotten worse.
00:05:29I asked her for directions on the way here.
00:05:30She pointed at the windshield and said,
00:05:32We're going that way.
00:05:34Well, I'm glad to see not much has changed.
00:05:37Especially not in this small-ass Texas town.
00:05:39It still looks like 1865.
00:05:41Why are you still here?
00:05:42Well, someone has to teach these inbred twats that the world is older than those pants.
00:05:47Really, girl?
00:05:48Navy blue capri length at your age?
00:05:51My age?
00:05:52You have been gone from New York City for a while.
00:05:54These came back.
00:05:55This bar looks dead, and I finished my drink.
00:05:58Wait a minute.
00:05:58Have you been drinking lighter fluid?
00:06:00I'm hoping that that's just alcohol in a flask,
00:06:02because she downed the last of my Xanax with that shit.
00:06:05I thought they were Mentos.
00:06:07The fresh maker?
00:06:09She should be dead, right?
00:06:10Years ago.
00:06:11Okay.
00:06:12Come on, let's give you a ride to your place.
00:06:14Come on, girl.
00:06:14I got my car back.
00:06:15Did you get your license back?
00:06:16Well, technically, no.
00:06:17Oh, damn it.
00:06:18Come on, Rex, baby.
00:06:19Come on, baby steps.
00:06:20Put it in the back.
00:06:21I think the lesson is, make sure your husband's penis isn't inside the sink drain
00:06:25before you turn on the garbage disposal.
00:06:28Thanks for the tamp.
00:06:30And later in the show, we've got Marsha Marshall,
00:06:32who is gonna show us ten different ways to decorate your cat for Easter.
00:06:36Meow.
00:06:37But first, back in the news, in the headlines,
00:06:40Russia, Vladimir Putin has assigned a new Prime Minister of Homosexual Propaganda.
00:06:47Svetlana Zopalost.
00:06:48Oh, well, there you go.
00:06:50That is a mouthful.
00:06:52Yikes.
00:06:53She looks like fun at a party.
00:06:55Unless your party is gay because those are illegal.
00:06:58That's right, you Russian queers.
00:07:00Don't even think about decorating your cat for Easter.
00:07:03You might land in jail.
00:07:04Does Russia even celebrate Easter?
00:07:07Other countries are just so weird.
00:07:09Oh, don't talk bad about Russia.
00:07:11They might hack your emails.
00:07:13Mama, you're back.
00:07:15What happened?
00:07:16They released me.
00:07:17No one was there to pick me up, so I had to walk home.
00:07:19I'm sorry, I didn't know.
00:07:20It's okay.
00:07:21Walked in me good.
00:07:21Gave me time to clear my head.
00:07:22Gave me time to think.
00:07:23I came up with six new ways to get Bianca Del Rio fired and out of our lives.
00:07:28All I need is a t-shirt cannon and four live raccoons.
00:07:32Mama, you need to forget her.
00:07:33After the trial and all that publicity,
00:07:35there's nothing the district can do to get rid of her.
00:07:37It's over.
00:07:38No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:39I'm not gonna let Bianca Del Rio win.
00:07:41Uh-uh.
00:07:42Well, we need money.
00:07:43We're two payments behind on the mortgage.
00:07:45Rent us in to repossess the recliner.
00:07:47And remember how my boobs popped?
00:07:48Of course.
00:07:49The doctor says if I can't get on next season of Botched,
00:07:51it's gonna be $10,000 for reconstructive surgery.
00:07:54That's if I want them the same size.
00:07:55As before?
00:07:56As each other.
00:07:57Mama, we are broke.
00:07:59These little schemes of yours just make things worse.
00:08:01Is this what you want?
00:08:02A world where freaks and homosexuals get to do whatever they desire?
00:08:06Nuh-uh.
00:08:07I did not pray to President Trump every morning
00:08:10to turn this country into a big transgender toilet.
00:08:13Wait, how are we gonna make America great again?
00:08:15But Bianca Del Rio's still in it.
00:08:17No!
00:08:17No!
00:08:26Early, you don't even know!
00:08:28I need soup with a spork!
00:08:30Our Christmas eggnog was spiked with Old Spice!
00:08:33Getting revenge on Bianca was the only thing getting me through!
00:08:37There, there, Mama.
00:08:40What are you watching?
00:08:42Oh, it takes us today.
00:08:43I never miss a show.
00:08:45So, some human-right activists are mad
00:08:47because in Russia they can throw anyone they even suspect
00:08:50of being gay in jail without a trial.
00:08:54Well, you know me, I don't hate the homosexuals.
00:08:56No.
00:08:57Even after Roger burned my neck with a curling iron last week,
00:08:59and I still think it was on purpose.
00:09:01But, you know, you can still be fired here just for being gay,
00:09:05but that doesn't mean you have to be mad about it
00:09:07and start waving your hands in the air with a hot iron.
00:09:10You should be grateful for what you have.
00:09:12Exactly.
00:09:13Just because it's legal should discriminate against anyone
00:09:16at a bakery, anytime, anywhere.
00:09:18At least we're not throwing you in prison.
00:09:20Right!
00:09:21You think Texas is bad?
00:09:23You should try to go to Saudi Arabia, Roger.
00:09:26It's worse than Russia.
00:09:27They throw homosexuals off buildings there.
00:09:31Oh, my God.
00:09:31That is not fun.
00:09:32And it's very humid.
00:09:35Nice dress, Deborah.
00:09:36When Renna Center took your recliner,
00:09:38I see they left you with the fat.
00:09:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
00:09:50ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:06I have a house on the dreary.
00:10:07Where does Ma Ingles keep her moonshine?
00:10:10The alcohol is above the sink in the kitchen.
00:10:13Anything under the sink is poison.
00:10:15So help yourself to whatever you want down there.
00:10:18I cannot believe that you brought wrecks in effect here.
00:10:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:23Well, I thought he needed a change of scenery.
00:10:25And he's not the only one.
00:10:27Seriously.
00:10:28Here you are.
00:10:29You're still at that same school.
00:10:31Still in the same old raggedy-ass house.
00:10:34Uh, girl.
00:10:35I moved.
00:10:36Still in a new raggedy house.
00:10:39Still with those glasses.
00:10:40And I know damn well that LASIK has made it to Texas.
00:10:43Baby, you know they'll take any excuse they can to shoot someone in the face around here.
00:10:47I am so glad that you drove all the way from Fire Island in a rented car to criticize my
00:10:52life.
00:10:53Me too, sis.
00:10:54Great catching up.
00:10:55Okay.
00:10:56Listen.
00:10:57I'm fine here.
00:10:58Did you get the raise?
00:10:59No.
00:10:59Sleeping with the hot coach?
00:11:01No.
00:11:01Then how is any of this fine?
00:11:03And I'm not even talking about those hideous-ass curtains over there, okay?
00:11:06I think-
00:11:06Listen.
00:11:08Bianca made you sort of famous.
00:11:10Well, gay famous.
00:11:11Which is like straight famous except you don't make as much money.
00:11:14And in America, the only reason to be famous is to, say it with me now, get laid and get
00:11:19paid.
00:11:20Yeah.
00:11:21I read your shirt.
00:11:22I made that shirt.
00:11:23And this.
00:11:24I make things.
00:11:26I'm a maker.
00:11:27The fresh maker.
00:11:30Weeeee!
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:41Uh, listen.
00:11:42You need more Bianca in your life.
00:11:44No.
00:11:45Bianca is upstairs in the closet where she belongs.
00:11:47Nobody wants to see any more Bianca.
00:11:49Much less Bianca teaching chemistry.
00:11:51Bianca does not just have to teach.
00:11:53Look, Ambrosia Salad's been wearing that same-ass green wig and same broken down heels since Stonewall, and she's still
00:11:59making the money, honey.
00:12:00What is so wrong with me being here teaching?
00:12:02That's what I moved here to do!
00:12:05You know what?
00:12:06Enough about me.
00:12:07Okay.
00:12:08Better question.
00:12:09Are you staying for dinner?
00:12:11Yes or no?
00:12:12Because I've got a box of wine that isn't gonna drink itself.
00:12:17A girl's night in?
00:12:19Mm-hmm.
00:12:20You had me at box, bitch.
00:12:22Come on, girl.
00:12:23Don't shit in my skillet!
00:12:24Oh, shit.
00:12:37I made coffee.
00:12:40What happened last night?
00:12:41I can't remember anything.
00:12:44This is vodka!
00:12:46It's coffee flavored.
00:12:47You bitches put me through it last night and that is not helping.
00:12:51Oh, girl.
00:12:51No.
00:12:52You're just out of practice, that's all?
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:55It's as easy as falling off a bike.
00:12:57I never forget how.
00:12:58We had fun!
00:12:59And you let loose.
00:13:01And we even got a little Bianca Del Rio up in there.
00:13:04What?
00:13:05Oh!
00:13:06God!
00:13:07Oh!
00:13:08I'm not sure this is progress.
00:13:10I finally met the famous Bianca Del Rio.
00:13:14And she's a thought more fun than you, believe me.
00:13:16Oh, shut up.
00:13:17Hey!
00:13:18What's for the bag?
00:13:20Under your eyes?
00:13:21Just passing through, honey.
00:13:23Bye, girls.
00:13:24Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:25Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:13:26Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:13:26Where are you going?
00:13:27Where are you going?
00:13:30I know you just didn't come here for an intervention.
00:13:33No, but I could have.
00:13:34Now, sister, listen.
00:13:35What I say next to you I say with the light of the sweet baby Jesus.
00:13:38Look at what you've become.
00:13:39An elderly woman living alone on a fixed income.
00:13:43You make money but you never make enough to leave.
00:13:45That's called Texas Hold'em.
00:13:46I think I have a deck of cards in my ass.
00:13:49Look, I'm from here. I know how it is.
00:13:52Pull Bianca out of that genie bottle and make your escape now.
00:13:56Oh, great. And just go back to New York with the two of you?
00:13:58Oh, not New York, honey. I'm going to Hollywood.
00:14:02Well, technically Long Beach, but...
00:14:04It's like Hollywood, but for lesbians and fat people.
00:14:08I'm performing on a cruise ship.
00:14:10Cruise ship? How are you going to take Rex on a cruise ship?
00:14:12He can barely stand up on dry land.
00:14:14Ugh, I'm not going. I'm staying here with you.
00:14:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:20No, no, you are not leaving me with this thing.
00:14:22Maybe the sweet Texas sun has made your brain soft.
00:14:25Rex is your problem. Bailey is mine.
00:14:27That's how this whole Little Sisters Big Messes program works.
00:14:31I have been gone for over a year. Rex is no longer my problem.
00:14:34When you temporarily left, you took your little goldfish,
00:14:37but you left your not-quite fish with me.
00:14:40Now I've got bigger fish to fry, so Rex is yours again.
00:14:43I'm fine. I just need some electrolytes.
00:14:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:49You did not bring him here before. Why are you bringing him here now?
00:14:52Because before he had a man, but since he swallowed that bag of pennies, well...
00:14:56Is this Red Bull or Gatorade?
00:15:00That's antifreeze. Get away from there.
00:15:02I told you you'd be a good mom, and not just because of your hips.
00:15:05Your life was empty. I gave it purpose.
00:15:08You're welcome, bitch.
00:15:09No, no, no, no.
00:15:10No, you're welcome, bitch.
00:15:11Steven, do not do this to me. Do not do this to me.
00:15:13I hate you, Steven. This is unfair.
00:15:15I hope you follow the propeller, you nasty bitch.
00:15:18No!
00:15:20I'll never let go, Jeff.
00:15:22Go fish.
00:15:28Fuck.
00:15:30Whee!
00:15:33I thought you were nocturnal creatures.
00:15:35Go on, get out of here. Get out of here.
00:15:37Keep your Bianca face away from me.
00:15:44Look, Mom, I'm pretty again.
00:15:46Yeah, looks like you're smuggling fenders across the border.
00:15:49Don't worry, Carly. You'll get your real fake boobs soon.
00:15:51I got a plan.
00:15:52A job plan, right?
00:15:53An overly complicated revenge plot.
00:15:55Got bit by those raccoons, by the way.
00:15:57What's the worst place on Earth?
00:15:59Texas, Indiana.
00:16:00Worse than Texas.
00:16:01Bigger than Texas.
00:16:02Stricter than Texas.
00:16:04Russia?
00:16:05That's where vodka gets born.
00:16:07And elections get stolen.
00:16:09Who cares when you're the winner?
00:16:10An all-expense-paid first-class ticket to Moscow.
00:16:13This smells like a scam.
00:16:14Don't look a gift whore in the mouth.
00:16:17Because she probably has jacked-up teeth.
00:16:19I mean, how did I win a contest that I didn't even enter?
00:16:22Because you didn't win.
00:16:24Look, Bianca won.
00:16:26We're pleased to honor the Teacher of the Year, Bianca Del Rio, at the Annual Alchemy and Manufactory Exposition
00:16:32and present her with a cash prize of $100,000 paid in real American money.
00:16:39Seems legit.
00:16:41I guess this means Bianca's coming back.
00:16:45Crunch.
00:16:46I was watching that show you like, and they were talking about how they throw gays off buildings in Saudi
00:16:50Arabia.
00:16:51And I'm thinking, how do I get Bianca Del Rio to Riyadh?
00:16:54You can't throw someone off a building, Mama.
00:16:56I know.
00:16:57I mean, they barely let you drive there.
00:16:59So then I'm thinking, okay, what's the next best worst place there is?
00:17:02Russia.
00:17:03But why would Bianca Del Rio go to Russia?
00:17:05Easy.
00:17:06I sent her a letter saying she won this teaching award, only she has to go to Russia to get
00:17:10it.
00:17:10Knowing her, that's an offer her ego can't refuse.
00:17:13And once they get a good look at her, they'll know she's a queerbait, drag queen freak and lock her
00:17:16up.
00:17:17Right.
00:17:17So, hack those fun bags.
00:17:20We're going to Russia.
00:17:21I can't just fly to Russia.
00:17:23It's the middle of the school year.
00:17:25How drunk are you?
00:17:27I'm completely sober.
00:17:29This is my one-hour chip.
00:17:33I'm full.
00:17:34And you can't go either.
00:17:35You said that you just got that job off your app.
00:17:37I did.
00:17:38Last night in the park.
00:17:39I know you think I don't work hard, but I'll work two jobs at once if I have to.
00:17:43Or if one of them is really hot.
00:17:45Remember when I told you that when you talk, it makes people sad?
00:17:48What have you got to lose?
00:17:50Call the number on the letter.
00:17:51If it's legit, free trip to Russia.
00:17:54And all that money.
00:17:56Well, the expo is during spring break.
00:18:00And $100,000 is a lot of money.
00:18:01And as much as I hate to admit it, Stephen was right.
00:18:04There's absolutely nothing keeping me here in Texas.
00:18:07Less than nothing.
00:18:09Okay, fine.
00:18:11Do svidaniya, Texas.
00:18:13Bianca Del Rio's going to Russia.
00:18:16I can't wait to see Bianca in action.
00:18:19No, no, no.
00:18:19You're not coming with me.
00:18:20I'm sure there's some long-term kennel I can put you in.
00:18:23You owe me.
00:18:24You left New York, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.
00:18:27Bitch, you were in the ICU.
00:18:30Oh, yeah.
00:18:31That was a fun party.
00:18:34Well, if I can't go to Russia, I guess I'll just stay here.
00:18:38Unattended.
00:18:39Hey, you don't need your cleaning deposit back, do you?
00:18:42Okay, okay, put it down.
00:18:43Put it down.
00:18:43Fine, fine, fine.
00:18:45Bianca and Rex are going to Russia.
00:18:50Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:18:52And listen, we are going as friends.
00:18:54Don't get handsy, because if you do, I'm going to throw you in the dumpster.
00:18:57Like the one you were born in on prom night.
00:18:59I just need to check in with the CDC before I go.
00:19:03They always like to know where I am.
00:19:07Now I have to take a Silkwood shower.
00:19:11It's gross.
00:19:14So how to send a Bianca to Russia, get us out of debt, and me in a bigger bra?
00:19:18First, we go to Russia.
00:19:19Then, we watch the Minister of Homosexual Propaganda put Bianca in jail forever.
00:19:24Next, we get your boobs fixed dirt cheap in Moscow.
00:19:27That whole country's like one giant dollar store.
00:19:29Then, with Bianca out of the picture, I can get my own job back at the school.
00:19:33I mean, it's Lou's win-win-win.
00:19:35Wait, if we can't even afford a recliner, how are we going to afford to get to Russia?
00:19:39Well, I may have had myself declared legally dead and collected the insurance money by pretending to be my imaginary
00:19:45twin sister.
00:19:46But we'll sort all that out when we get back.
00:19:48From Russia!
00:19:49Woo-hoo!
00:19:50Yeah.
00:19:51Do you have any more wig, Lou?
00:19:53And how?
00:19:54I told you not to huff that stuff.
00:19:56You barely have a two-digit IQ as it is.
00:19:58I use it for legitimate purposes.
00:20:03I've been downloading a lot of apps on my phone.
00:20:07Translators, local restaurant guides, both hook-up apps.
00:20:10Apparently, there's a lot of bears in Russia that are lesbians.
00:20:17Where do you think you're going dressed like that?
00:20:19Moscow.
00:20:20How are you going to get through airport security?
00:20:22Okay, I'll change, but I don't want to miss our 9 o'clock flight.
00:20:25Yeah, 9.
00:20:269 p.m.
00:20:27At night.
00:20:27On Saturday.
00:20:29It's Wednesday, you dink.
00:20:31Here.
00:20:32Now, listen.
00:20:33I've got two more days at the high school before we're out of here.
00:20:35Do not swallow a jar full of pennies while I'm gone.
00:20:41That only happened once.
00:20:50Mama, why does Bianca get to fly first place to Russia?
00:20:53We're stuck hiding this shipping container.
00:20:56I had to make sure Bianca took the bait.
00:20:58Also, now that I'm legally dead, I technically don't have a passport anymore.
00:21:04Why's your bag moving around?
00:21:06Oh, I brought one of the raccoons along in case we need it.
00:21:09Or if we get hungry, I mean, it's going to be a long trip.
00:21:12Old Spice?
00:21:13No.
00:21:16No.
00:21:42Woo!
00:21:43I don't know that the movie Psycho was still under that bathroom.
00:21:45Quincy!
00:21:47Quincy!
00:21:47Oh, thank God.
00:21:48The only thing that would make this room worse is having to share a bed with you.
00:21:51You should be so lucky.
00:21:53You know, this place is really, really gross.
00:21:55It makes Motel 6 look high-end.
00:21:57No wonder Tolstoy was so depressing.
00:22:00Right?
00:22:01Remember in Tolstoy 3 when they were all holding hands in the furnace?
00:22:04I didn't know a cartoon could wreck my shit like that.
00:22:07You should talk less and maybe read more.
00:22:10Oh, at least the room comes with a complimentary bottle of vodka.
00:22:13Yeah, well, we can use that as disinfectant.
00:22:15I can see Alaska from my room.
00:22:20Hi.
00:22:29Yeah, well, luckily, we're not going to have to be here long.
00:22:32Just a few days.
00:22:33Well, we've got to soak up some local color.
00:22:38Oh, God.
00:22:39I want to go down to the expo and let them know that I'm here.
00:22:43House Hunters!
00:22:44I love this show.
00:22:46I like house number one.
00:22:47The open-concept kitchen had good flow between the living room and bedroom
00:22:51because no interior walls.
00:22:53But we have to draw water from the well out back since we didn't have indoor plumbing.
00:22:58Neither did house number three.
00:22:59The crumbling living room walls let in a lot of natural light,
00:23:03which we need because someone stripped the copper wiring.
00:23:06That desperate hovel was great,
00:23:08but I don't like a wall with so many nails in it.
00:23:12We aren't royalty.
00:23:13I like house number two.
00:23:15It's an uprising.
00:23:15But on the small side and a little too close to Chernobyl.
00:23:20But the interior walls and the updated bathroom sold me,
00:23:24I think, house number two.
00:23:25Our nice young heterosexual couple chose correctly.
00:23:29The second house with its modern decor,
00:23:31functioning appliances,
00:23:33and a tasteful use of rich colors.
00:23:35Obviously the work of a deviant homosexual
00:23:38who must be punished.
00:23:39House Hunters has really gone downhill
00:23:41since they got rid of Suzanne Wong.
00:23:42That's not house Hunters, that's homo Hunters.
00:23:45And look, it's that Svetlana, that Russian bitch.
00:23:49She's the minister of homosexual propaganda.
00:23:51Yeah, she's the one that puts all the gays in prison.
00:23:53For making her wear that jacket?
00:23:55No, asshole, for being gay.
00:23:57Russia has very strict laws,
00:23:58which is why it's very important for you to be inconspicuous.
00:24:02Do you know what that word means?
00:24:04Inconspicuous is my middle name.
00:24:06I have mean parents.
00:24:10Hey, girls!
00:24:11So much for being inconspicuous.
00:24:13What? I don't want people to know we're at a science fair.
00:24:16All we have to do is find the coordinator
00:24:18and let them know that Bianca will be here tomorrow
00:24:20to collect the check and then we're out of here.
00:24:23Siri, how do you say hot nerd in Russian?
00:24:26I am not Siri, you capitalist pig.
00:24:28See?
00:24:29Just look around.
00:24:30You don't need an app for that.
00:24:31Oh, my boredom is zero feet away.
00:24:34That's how we do this.
00:24:35And you can please take our phone
00:24:37and have a little, uh, Nick, and your cool device.
00:24:40And so, I see, uh, what do you do, right?
00:24:46Okay.
00:24:47The light bulb, we cut potato in half.
00:24:50Find two coins if you can spare them,
00:24:52two nails from house next door,
00:24:53and a little bit of copper wire.
00:24:55Now, copper wire is easy to fetch from the neighbor
00:24:57because once you take the two nails, the house goes back.
00:25:00He's cute.
00:25:01When we get back to the hotel,
00:25:02remind me to get onto the basement
00:25:03and find your standards.
00:25:05I know your standards coming from you.
00:25:06You're the one that found the sex offender registry
00:25:08and thought it was a dating site.
00:25:10Uh, add all these materials together to the potato
00:25:12and we're making electricity.
00:25:15Any questions?
00:25:16Doc.
00:25:17When do we eat potato?
00:25:19Oh.
00:25:20How many share in one half of potato?
00:25:23A whole family?
00:25:25Potatoes are making electricity, not for eating.
00:25:34Hi.
00:25:35I'm Richard Martinez,
00:25:36and I'm a science teacher from America,
00:25:38and this is my friend Rex,
00:25:40and we've come here for the, uh, science expo.
00:25:44Hi.
00:25:44Meet ya.
00:25:45Short for Dimitri.
00:25:46Meet ya.
00:25:47Nice to meet ya.
00:25:51Oh, look.
00:25:53Anything else.
00:26:00We can get lunch soon, Mama.
00:26:02That raccoon wasn't very friendly.
00:26:03Yeah, yeah.
00:26:03Just gotta find Bianca.
00:26:05Get out of the police,
00:26:05rush in here and arrest her.
00:26:07This will be glorious.
00:26:11Why did the Russian hooker pee on the matches?
00:26:13Because she thought it was you, Deborah.
00:26:17Fake news!
00:26:23Hasta la pavement, bitch!
00:26:25Sucka!
00:26:33She's dressed as Richard?
00:26:35How am I gonna get the police to arrest her
00:26:37if she's just a run-of-the-mill gay burger
00:26:38without the flame sauce and extra cheese?
00:26:41Cheese.
00:26:42Making me hungry.
00:26:43Come on.
00:26:43Let's go back to the hotel.
00:26:45Come on.
00:26:45Get ready to go here.
00:26:47America's long way to come
00:26:48just for a little alchemy expo.
00:26:49Well, I'm, I mean,
00:26:51a friend of mine is getting a prize,
00:26:53so I only came here tonight
00:26:54to, uh, meet up with the organizer.
00:26:56Ah, Sasha.
00:26:57It's gone already,
00:26:57but we'll be back.
00:26:59Will, um,
00:27:00you be here tomorrow?
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02I see you then.
00:27:03Sure.
00:27:04Okay.
00:27:07See you then.
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:09See you then.
00:27:10Bye-bye.
00:27:22Bye-bye.
00:27:24Please don't die.
00:27:25All I'm saying is
00:27:26keep it in your panties.
00:27:28I mean,
00:27:28Russia's already dangerous enough
00:27:29for the both of us
00:27:30without you making a spectacle of yourself.
00:27:32Oh, don't come for me.
00:27:33I saw you over there
00:27:33with the queen of the nerd herd.
00:27:35God, your meet cute was so pathetic.
00:27:36If I still had a gag reflex,
00:27:38I'd bark.
00:27:39Listen,
00:27:39meet you with the only interesting person
00:27:40at that place.
00:27:41And really,
00:27:42is that what they call a science fair
00:27:43here in Russia?
00:27:44Pretty flimsy for a country
00:27:45that hacked elections.
00:27:46Exactly.
00:27:47Which doesn't explain
00:27:47how they can afford
00:27:48those plane tickets
00:27:49and the $100,000 prize.
00:27:51You always overthink everything.
00:27:53You know what?
00:27:53You always underthink everything.
00:27:55You see?
00:27:56You see what you did there?
00:27:57You and Stephen
00:27:58always say we were friends,
00:28:00but you talk about me
00:28:01like I'm your nephew
00:28:02with Alzheimer's.
00:28:03All I'm saying
00:28:04is that you should trust me more.
00:28:06Why don't you just relax
00:28:07and enjoy
00:28:08all that Russia
00:28:09has to offer.
00:28:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:11Relax and go on.
00:28:16Is this your room?
00:28:18Uh, can you get up?
00:28:19What seems to be the trouble,
00:28:21officer?
00:28:22Whose suitcase is this?
00:28:24Oh.
00:28:25Bianca.
00:28:26Is Bianca a flaming drag queen?
00:28:27A degenerate homosexual?
00:28:29Yes.
00:28:30Actually,
00:28:31Bianca was going to take
00:28:32these clothes
00:28:32and wigs
00:28:33to her mother's
00:28:34to cheer her up
00:28:35because she's really sick.
00:28:37Cancel.
00:28:41Hey, hey, hey.
00:28:50So far,
00:28:50your plan of relaxing
00:28:51and waiting to see
00:28:52what Russia has in store for us
00:28:53really worked out great,
00:28:55didn't it?
00:28:55Now what are we going to do?
00:28:56Now that the police
00:28:57have confiscated
00:28:58all of our drag.
00:28:59I went through your bag.
00:29:00Most of it was from
00:29:01an outlet mall anyway.
00:29:02There was 50 cents
00:29:03in my purse.
00:29:03We'll replace the rest
00:29:04when we go home.
00:29:05They are expecting
00:29:06Bianca Del Rio
00:29:06tomorrow at the expo.
00:29:08But how is Bianca
00:29:08going to go there
00:29:09and collect the $100,000 check
00:29:10when Bianca's being
00:29:11hauled away in a bag?
00:29:13You can use my outfit.
00:29:15You can have my wig.
00:29:16We'll lift this dress
00:29:17out in the back
00:29:18a lot.
00:29:19And nobody will know
00:29:20any better.
00:29:21Well, that's not going to work
00:29:21because they've probably
00:29:22already seen pictures
00:29:23of me on the Internet.
00:29:24Internet?
00:29:25They barely have electricity.
00:29:27You've seen your boyfriend
00:29:28and his potato.
00:29:29It's pathetic.
00:29:30Bianca has brown hair
00:29:31and that dress of yours
00:29:32is a walking bacterial
00:29:33test strip.
00:29:34What we need to do
00:29:35is find somebody
00:29:36in this country
00:29:36that has drag.
00:29:37We can create
00:29:38a new Bianca.
00:29:39I can go in,
00:29:40collect the check
00:29:40and get the hell
00:29:41out of here
00:29:41because the longer
00:29:42we stay here,
00:29:43the bigger chance
00:29:43we have of somebody
00:29:44giving us a one-way ticket
00:29:45to a Siberian hellhole.
00:29:47You're so dramatic.
00:29:48Fine.
00:29:49I'll ask some guys
00:29:50on this app
00:29:50if there's a gay bar
00:29:52or a tragic drag show.
00:29:54There always is.
00:29:55We'll steal some looks,
00:29:56collect that check
00:29:57and head back to Texas.
00:29:59What do you know?
00:30:00I guess I do have
00:30:01some gag reflex left.
00:30:03I'm full of surprises.
00:30:07Gross.
00:30:11Mama,
00:30:12you'll never guess
00:30:12what I got.
00:30:14Stop scratching
00:30:15or it won't heal right.
00:30:16I'm not going to heal right
00:30:17until that doctor fixes me.
00:30:19We've been in Moscow
00:30:19two hours
00:30:20and Bianca isn't in jail yet.
00:30:22What kind of country is this?
00:30:23We called the police
00:30:24and reported a room
00:30:25full of flaming drag queens
00:30:26and homosexuals.
00:30:27What more can we do?
00:30:28We'll please get some lunch
00:30:30and find that doctor.
00:30:31Get some food on the way.
00:30:32Those queer burgers
00:30:34found a gay bar
00:30:34they're going to.
00:30:35This could be our big break.
00:30:37Hmm.
00:30:38But first,
00:30:40we'll need a disguise.
00:30:45Where are we?
00:30:46I don't know.
00:30:47We're in Russia.
00:30:48It smells like desperation.
00:30:50We must be close.
00:30:52We must be close.
00:30:53We must be close.
00:30:56We must be close.
00:30:57We must be close.
00:31:01Glassmost?
00:31:20welcome to club katya i am your hostess katya hello katya this is my friend rex and my name
00:31:27is richard ah yes nice to meet you well i was wondering if you could help us out i'm looking
00:31:36for some drag this is gorky park she is one of our very best drag huge enormous talent and that
00:31:43is
00:31:43no fat joke
00:32:00i'm actually looking for some drag as i'm clothing for myself it's a really long story
00:32:13what kind of a plastic surgeon has an office in an alley so not as comfortable as i thought
00:32:18focus up bianca del rio's in there i need you to go in there and come back out with a
00:32:23full report
00:32:23if you're lucky police will round up the whole fruit basket
00:32:29when i have a student they get classic sass when deborah has a student they get wrinkly old ass
00:32:36class
00:32:43go go come on line oh and watch out for that eye hole you say they're not interested in your
00:32:49lady business well these foreign perverts you never know go you got this
00:33:12so let me understand you are found out to be a teacher and then fired yeah okay and then sent
00:33:18to
00:33:18prison no no no i actually went back to school in drag it's bianca del rio oh so you're found
00:33:23out in
00:33:23drag and then sent to prison no no i'm still teaching there the person that fired me is the
00:33:27one who's in jail this texas it must be magical place what's the winter like bitter and haunting
00:33:32uh no not haunting it's just pretty average oh let us drink to texas the magical kingdom of paradise
00:33:43you know i never thought about it that way but texas doesn't even sound that bad compared to russia
00:33:47after all uh when i think of the sad times here in russia i said to myself cutting cut at
00:33:52least you're not
00:33:52living in saudi arabia they had the killings of course but think of desert drag sand up your tongue
00:33:57it's disgusting well look at the bright side you could probably make a pearl i could have pearl
00:34:02necklace you know you know i'm i'm just curious it's like why are all these posters up with this
00:34:08svetlana bitch uh the queens here are obsessed with her but isn't she the one who hates all the
00:34:13gays yes but not always so she was at one time moscow's biggest how you say like um stick bitch
00:34:19bad hat that it was the classic tale woman love gays gays love woman woman turns her hair red
00:34:25gays talk shitted brunch woman becomes minister of homosexual propaganda sends all her gay friends
00:34:30to the siberian work camp oh i must have meant some brunch no it was an awful brunch one egg
00:34:35and
00:34:35piece of toast for party of 12 there is nothing worse than a hungry queen gorgie park was one of
00:34:40them she was the only survivor what happened to everyone else she ate them look at that fat fucking
00:34:45bitch how else would you survive winter in siberia anyways i'm sorry i become emotional
00:34:50oh let me ask you who is this weird guy you're hanging out with his boyfriend boyfriend oh with
00:34:57rags oh god that's not my boyfriend he's somewhere around here he was whistling at some guy earlier
00:35:01well that's him right there by the bathroom i don't suck dick but i'll put it in my mouth
00:35:06till the swelling goes down i arrest you oh yes daddy oh oh oh wait you're serious you too
00:35:1710 minutes alpha he's got a guy around hereoni just got a bit of a creeped house he was
00:35:22in my mouth o the panzy wagon you know
00:35:41gap three more
00:35:43gap three more
00:35:45gap two more
00:35:59This whole trip, I should have known you were behind it.
00:36:03Eat trash, sissy pants!
00:36:14Hey!
00:36:17Oh, my...
00:36:17Ah!
00:36:19Ah!
00:36:21Woo!
00:36:25Ah!
00:36:27Ah!
00:36:29Ah!
00:36:31Ah!
00:36:32Ah!
00:36:33Son of a bitch!
00:36:37Ah!
00:36:39Ah!
00:36:41Mama!
00:36:43Ah!
00:36:44Mama!
00:36:45Ah!
00:37:03So...
00:37:03So what'd you do to get out of jail, Deborah?
00:37:06Did you have sex with the warden?
00:37:08I know that he's your uncle.
00:37:09Oh, save your insults, Bianca Del Richard.
00:37:12Cause now I'm the one holding the cat, and you're the one fucking his legs.
00:37:16Wait, hold on.
00:37:17How tight are your spanks, Deborah?
00:37:19Is it cutting off the circulation to your brain?
00:37:21I mean, what have you done here?
00:37:23Revenge!
00:37:23I finally got revenge on Miss Bianca Del Rio!
00:37:27Really, Queen?
00:37:28Revenge?
00:37:28I'm the one standing here, and your daughter's being hauled away to jail?
00:37:31Yeah, technically that was a part of the plan.
00:37:33Yeah, and now we've lost them.
00:37:36Well, I got you!
00:37:38Wait!
00:37:38Hold up!
00:37:39I'm another way back to the hotel!
00:37:58Wait!
00:37:58Hold up!
00:38:02Wait!
00:38:02Wait!
00:38:03Wait!
00:38:04Do you have any idea how dangerous Russia is?
00:38:07We should not have come here in the first place!
00:38:09No!
00:38:10You never should have come here!
00:38:10You should have come to Texas!
00:38:11You brought this on yourself, gave away!
00:38:13All I wanted to do was teach!
00:38:14You were the one who should have been minding your own fucking business!
00:38:17You queers shouldn't be around children!
00:38:19Funny coming from you!
00:38:20Aren't you the one who had caught having sex with a high school student?
00:38:23Miss First!
00:38:24He looked legal!
00:38:25From the waist down!
00:38:26You're just jealous!
00:38:27Really, the only person endangering a child around here is you!
00:38:30Where's your daughter Carly?
00:38:31In jail?
00:38:32She knew there might be sacrifices!
00:38:34Besides, it was worth it seeing that hooker friend of yours locked up!
00:38:37She prefers whore!
00:38:39Oh yeah?
00:38:39Well, you're next, flame sauce!
00:38:41You better watch yourself!
00:38:43Where are you going?
00:38:45Oh!
00:38:45I got the room next door!
00:38:47Got a special rate!
00:38:59This bitch!
00:39:02Perfect timing!
00:39:04Sorry to interrupt nothing!
00:39:05Rex wasn't answering his phone!
00:39:07Where is he?
00:39:07Another Netflix and chill!
00:39:09Hulu and hop!
00:39:10Amazon and anal!
00:39:11We're in Russia!
00:39:12Rex is in a gulag!
00:39:13Come on, girl!
00:39:14Who's gulag?
00:39:15It's a Russian prison!
00:39:17They've taken Rex, they've taken my Bianca drag, and I'm in some hideous hotel with Deborah!
00:39:22She set me up again!
00:39:23Well, I guess now is not the best time to tell you that I'm not really on a cruise ship,
00:39:27girl!
00:39:28I'm a contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race!
00:39:31Well, if you're calling already, I guess we're both not getting $100,000!
00:39:35Sister!
00:39:35How dare you say that!
00:39:36Do you know what I've been going through over here, girl?
00:39:38Save it, Martin Luther Queen!
00:39:39I'm in a jam here!
00:39:41I gotta find a way to get Rex out of prison and get us back to America!
00:39:44And drag alone ain't gonna fix it!
00:39:46Bianca Del Rio solved your Deborah problem before, and I know she can do it again!
00:39:50Listen, if drag can fix a face like yours...
00:39:52Uh, I'm hanging up now!
00:39:57Nice try, bitch!
00:39:58Thanks, girl!
00:39:59Did you see it, girl?
00:40:00They pulled a pants!
00:40:01It's alright!
00:40:02There's always all stars!
00:40:07Bitch!
00:40:08You know you're not supposed to be on your phone!
00:40:10Listen, I need your help pulling together some new looks!
00:40:12It's an emergency!
00:40:13That's what I told you on the runway, thug!
00:40:16Now git!
00:40:17Bunny, reach up into that Moroccan bazaar up on your head and pull me out a number 12 brunette wig
00:40:22now!
00:40:23Does anyone else around hear an irritating screechin' voice that just won't quit?!
00:40:30You have to help Bianca Del Rio!
00:40:32Oh, the one whose face looks like a smashed-in pinata?
00:40:35Bunny, I cannot believe you!
00:40:36It's safe to back!
00:40:37Anything to shut you up?
00:40:39just reach in to the left past the gerbil cage which is oh I think I found
00:40:45Natalie Holloway
00:40:53I know that you're following me he's not me he's full of course
00:41:05fresh meat more like day old bread
00:41:14someone smells fishing too fishy they think I'm one of you if I'm one of you you mean a blonde
00:41:21slut then yes yes you are the guard called me a tranny he said I had a meaty tuck I
00:41:28know you
00:41:28you're the girl from Richard School your mother's insane and a snake bit your boobs off did we meet
00:41:33back in Texas oh no Steve made a picture book for me to read on the way so I would
00:41:36know who all the
00:41:37players are and he did not do you justice girl what are they gonna do to us in here keep
00:41:43us here
00:41:43forever if they want that's not fair welcome to my world which now that they think you're one of us
00:41:49is your world too that's how it is fire us imprison us don't text us back whatever they want I'm
00:41:56sorry
00:41:56I didn't know it'd be like this oh you're from Texas I'm sure there's a lot you don't know
00:42:03I'm Vicki Leakes I run this joint what are you in for fish stick that dress no for cutting hog
00:42:11bodied
00:42:11queen to wear Jacqueline Smith and try to start with I can't finish honey rampage is a brand not a
00:42:17way
00:42:17of life don't take it out on me because you aged out of wet seal I've got a knife up
00:42:22in my wig let's
00:42:23dance bitch simmer down hot topic I'm just taking your temperature
00:42:32thanks for that do you really have a knife in your wig an emery board and lipstick
00:42:40I'm Carly by the way I'm Rex and don't worry about her she's just testing you the first night is
00:42:45all
00:42:45about trying to see how tough you are anyone tries to mess with you you just mess right back
00:42:50hopefully my mom will be here soon to get me out the same mother who tried to use you to
00:42:54exact her
00:42:55revenge on someone else you're not her accomplice you're her victim you think so I can speak for many
00:43:01a queen when I say you cannot let a bad mother keep in the way of you being fabulous you've
00:43:06got a
00:43:06cute face and legs legs legs I've spent my whole life hating homosexuals but you're really nice oh
00:43:14no girly I mean as hell you're just seeing me as a real person for the first time that's all
00:43:18we are
00:43:18we're all just people
00:43:24except that bitch I don't know what she is
00:43:33you wanna play go is she
00:43:37did you smuggle that deck of cards in your wig too
00:43:40the cavity surgeon wasn't very thorough
00:43:50I'm no Jessica Fletcher but I know when I'm being followed come on out Deborah
00:43:56how'd you know it was me I have eyes yeah Thor ask
00:44:01look Deborah I'm gonna temporarily ignore your psychotic blend of down-home homophobia and lack
00:44:07of southern charm considering we both have two people that we care about in prison I think it's
00:44:11best that we work together to get them out you would do that yes I would do that and I
00:44:16hate you
00:44:16I'm sorry hate is a strong word what I meant to say was I really hate you you don't get
00:44:22to hate me
00:44:22I can take you I'm a good person I follow the teachings of the Bible
00:44:28shut up shut up they'll hear you what are the police still around no the rats the screeches like
00:44:34a goddamn mating call come let's go inside
00:44:40I really wish I had on a horrible dress so I could talk to you hag to hag
00:44:43I'd call you a see you next Tuesday but that'll imply I ever want to see you again
00:44:47just say cunt Deborah we're in Russia nobody knows what it means no we have cunt here is woman woman
00:44:53like
00:44:53her small not big in hips but huge vagina Katya this is Deborah the one I was telling you about
00:44:59the wicked witch of the western hemisphere oh you I am a good Christian just like my president
00:45:07and I came to this godless nation of yours smells like a burnt cat to try to seek justice yet
00:45:12you're
00:45:12obviously selfish vindictive cunt but no matter look at this place it's destroyed they took everything
00:45:16everyone I barely escaped with my life and just a little bit of money you know what Rex never turns
00:45:23off his hookup apps he will no doubt be held under Kremlin in secret prison operated by the fabulous
00:45:27Ms. Svetlana's lawlessness you think you could get us inside maybe heck into the mainframe I wish but
00:45:32I've maxed out on sexual favors already this fiscal quarter not work then what are we gonna do there
00:45:37is a secret program where local prostitutes try to convert queers into straight but even as Russian
00:45:41whores you two would be a stretch no well maybe you can get us some disguises we have to find
00:45:46our way inside we could make visit as relatives simple quick hello and goodbye it might work
00:45:51but we have to go now quirky park is there and it's way past repeating time let's hurry
00:45:57come on daddy
00:46:03thank you sir police everywhere no one's gonna believe these disguises
00:46:09I've never felt so pretty
00:46:13all Russian women look like men who can tell difference now you are just relatives visiting
00:46:18sisters now go to Dornright village wait wait wait wait you're not coming with us no it's too
00:46:24dangerous for Katya if I don't get to see you it was nice to meet you and good luck you'll
00:46:29need it
00:46:32come on now when we get inside I'm gonna get all the information from Carly that I can yeah funny
00:46:40coming from you you don't even know the difference between french bread and a french braid I'll take
00:46:44care of it you you fell for this entire skin you thought you were getting prize money from a science
00:46:49fair in Russia I mean second bag lady I won can you please keep it down here come those horny
00:46:54rats
00:46:55data
00:47:05category is prison drag realness
00:47:22This look doesn't Jailhouse Rock so much as give me fulsome frizzy blues.
00:47:26Oh, it's not that bad. Maybe a little tight.
00:47:29Tight? She should get 10 to life of murdering those scenes.
00:47:33Okay, playtime is over. Back inside.
00:47:38You have visitor? You too, Tranny.
00:47:41I'm obviously in the middle of something. Who is it?
00:47:44It's a mean woman with fat ass.
00:47:46Oh, that's Bianca.
00:47:52I don't know her.
00:47:54I can see you.
00:47:58Yet. No touch.
00:48:00I wouldn't touch her. She's like a vending machine full of STDs.
00:48:04How did you get in here?
00:48:05Well, obviously, I told them I was your much younger sister.
00:48:08They're stupid, not blind.
00:48:10Anyway, where's your whole Bianca Del Rio? This is not what I was expecting.
00:48:14Don't you remember? They took Bianca. She is gone.
00:48:18Everything you need is in the suitcase. You worry too much.
00:48:22This place is much nicer than our hotel, by the way. At least here has room service.
00:48:25And what are you going to do if they send you to Siberia and make you eat someone to stay
00:48:29alive?
00:48:30Is he hot?
00:48:32Focus!
00:48:33How are you holding up, Carly?
00:48:35I'd be a lot better if I wasn't stuck in a rush in prison, thanks to you.
00:48:39We've got to beat those queers. You know how important it is.
00:48:42All you think about is Bianca. You don't even care what happens to me.
00:48:45Maybe those homos aren't so bad, Mama.
00:48:47I mean, when Jacqueline Smith tried to stab me, Rex is the one that protected me.
00:48:51I'm more than you ever did.
00:48:53That's her slut?
00:48:55Yeah. I think you're wrong about them.
00:48:56Nah, you don't mean that. It's got to be the old spice talking.
00:49:00Listen, I don't want you to worry, but we are trying to work on a plan to get you out
00:49:03of here.
00:49:04I'm not worried. I've made this prison my bitch. All the queens work for me now, and that hot guard
00:49:10feeds me three times a day.
00:49:11He brings you food?
00:49:12Not exactly.
00:49:14Now, Bianca and I are going to get you both out of here together, but I've got a plan of
00:49:18my own.
00:49:19Another plan, Mama?
00:49:20Yeah, Bianca thinks I'm going to help her, but once you're free, I'm going to expose her for what she
00:49:25is, and bam, she's gone.
00:49:27You would do that after she helps get me out?
00:49:29It's what we came here for. I'm not leaving Russia until Bianca's locked up forever.
00:49:35Listen, there's got to be another way to get in here. Do you think I could pass as one of
00:49:38those guards?
00:49:40Origami is straighter than you.
00:49:41The only other option is actually better suited for you than it is for me.
00:49:45Oh, you mean the hookers. Yeah, we have straight conversion therapy tomorrow.
00:49:50I'm going to have sex with a gross Russian skank for science.
00:49:54I can't wait to spank that bitch.
00:49:57No touch!
00:49:58That's not what you said last night.
00:50:00Time is up.
00:50:01Bye, sis.
00:50:03Bye.
00:50:08These disguises barely got us to the door as family.
00:50:11No one's ever going to believe that we're hookers, not even here in Russia.
00:50:14We can't just leave Carly in there.
00:50:16Prison's doing terrible things to her.
00:50:17She's not strong like I am.
00:50:19I know.
00:50:19You can pull a cart.
00:50:21Okay, insult me all you want, but I've got to get my daughter back.
00:50:24Okay, fine.
00:50:25I will work out a plan to get Rex and your atrocious offspring out of prison.
00:50:29If you had that wig on right now, I'd snatch you right off your head.
00:50:31Yeah, that's the difference between us.
00:50:33I'd just snatch out your own hair from the root.
00:50:37You hungry?
00:50:38I could eat.
00:50:51Nothing.
00:50:55That glue-sniffin' dummy's going to end up in Siberia.
00:50:59Gorky doesn't eat him first.
00:51:01Well, at least he's getting laid.
00:51:17Oh, look, it's me in a baggy tie.
00:51:20Bianca Del Rio, what are you doing here?
00:51:23This is your come-to-Jesus moment, Richard.
00:51:25But Jesus was busy, so you got me.
00:51:27But how am I going to get Rex out of prison?
00:51:29Rex can take care of himself.
00:51:31No, you baby him too much.
00:51:33He is literally an adult baby.
00:51:35Anything he can grab, he sticks up his nose or in his mouth.
00:51:37Or ass.
00:51:38Rex is a lot like Wigloo, more versatile than you think.
00:51:41It has a lot of uses if you put your mind to it.
00:51:44But how am I going to get him out of that prison?
00:51:46Find me.
00:51:48Your way in is your way out.
00:51:50Eating Chinese food late at night is a big mistake.
00:51:54Now I'm dreaming and fortune cooking.
00:51:55How is Rex like a vending machine full of STDs?
00:51:59Because when you put three quarters in, you get one.
00:52:02Get out of my head!
00:52:09Dream over.
00:52:15I come up with my best insults while sleeping.
00:52:18We glue.
00:52:30Shit.
00:52:41International, oh, no, delivery for Richard Martinez, huh?
00:52:49Um, what? Hey, what?
00:52:58What, Vasevich?
00:53:02What the hell does that mean?
00:53:03I think it's Halleloo in Russian.
00:53:06Yes!
00:53:07I have a better question. What the hell are you doing in a box?
00:53:09Honey, airfare is expensive.
00:53:11And, you know, some of us didn't win RuPaul's Drag Race.
00:53:14Ooh, the girls are hateful, you'll see.
00:53:15I don't watch reality television.
00:53:18Well, it turns out that that Frontline episode on human trafficking
00:53:20is a lot more informative than I think it was meant to be.
00:53:23Well, I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
00:53:25Well, baby, with me, it's always a good thing,
00:53:27because, say hello to my little friend!
00:53:33I love you.
00:53:35You old bitch.
00:53:36Oh, honey, you must be talking to that wig
00:53:38because you know there are at least ten years between me and you.
00:53:42Yeah, well, let me tell you this.
00:53:43Rex is going to have ten years in prison if we don't get him out.
00:53:45But I think I have a plan.
00:53:49Ooh.
00:53:50Do you have a plan to get me out this box?
00:53:52Oh, come on, girl.
00:53:52I know.
00:53:53Honey, the overage charges for the weight.
00:53:55It's about a thousand-hundred-fifty pounds.
00:53:56Ah!
00:54:23Oh, you look fabulous.
00:54:25See, I told you, Bianca will fix everything.
00:54:28Oh, girl, it's just drag, not a cure for herpes.
00:54:32No, honey, if you want a cure for herpes,
00:54:33you leave Rex up in that solitary confinement.
00:54:37You know, there's only one more thing we need.
00:54:40Oh, Debra!
00:54:43Bianca Del Rio.
00:54:45Live and breathe.
00:54:47Yeah, we'll fix that later.
00:54:48We've got lots of work to do.
00:54:50On you.
00:54:54We've got lots of work to do.
00:55:26I've been waiting a long time for this makeover.
00:55:29How do I look?
00:55:30Well, when I said I wanted to rearrange your face,
00:55:31this is not what I had in mind.
00:55:33Your feet are killing me.
00:55:34How do fruits walk in these heels anyway?
00:55:36A lifetime of pain and suffering.
00:55:38Hi.
00:55:39You must be Sasha.
00:55:40I'm Bianca Del Rio.
00:55:41You're a fancy prostitute.
00:55:43I have no money.
00:55:45Not even for the short one.
00:55:46Uh, no.
00:55:47We're actually here looking for my friend, Mitya Dimitri.
00:55:50He was here yesterday, and I do believe that's his potato.
00:55:53Not here.
00:55:54At government job.
00:55:56Today.
00:55:57I watch potato.
00:55:59What's the deal with a potato?
00:56:00There is one for a potato!
00:56:01Hey!
00:56:02Calm down, potato lady!
00:56:04Um, Bianca's her pia.
00:56:07Listen, we need chemicals.
00:56:08This is a science fair, isn't it?
00:56:10I mean, there's gotta be some place around here we can buy or steal supplies
00:56:12to make a chemical reaction.
00:56:14If you need work, I'm also, how you say, a pimp.
00:56:19Oh.
00:56:19These girls over here, not my best.
00:56:22A prison, not so picky.
00:56:25This place might have what you look for.
00:56:30Come on, girls.
00:56:31We've got some shopping to do.
00:56:32We've got some shit to blow up.
00:56:42The secret prison is under the Kremlin.
00:56:44We only saw the visitor center in the front, which means the prisoners are in the back.
00:56:47This is a crazy plan, even for you.
00:56:49Oh, shut up.
00:56:50Now, you, you've got to pass these around and wait for my signal.
00:56:54I'm not sure if it's enough to put the Kremlin in orbit, but it definitely will crack a few walls.
00:56:58Now, hold up now.
00:56:59This is not going to go off in my hand, right?
00:57:01No, it's stable until you use the detonator.
00:57:03Sir, you did bring the detonator.
00:57:05It's in my wig.
00:57:06Good.
00:57:07Wait a minute, though.
00:57:08So they are supposed to hire y'all hookers to seduce the gays?
00:57:12Yeah.
00:57:12Yeah.
00:57:15But what are you going to do if they try to make you have sex with Rex?
00:57:18I'm totally going to bike down on the cyanide capsule in my molar.
00:57:21You guys, look.
00:57:22We're totally like Charlie's Angels right now.
00:57:24Boo-ta-loo-ta-loo-ta-loo.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:25Hey, you're Bosley.
00:57:27Oh, God.
00:57:28Here, take this.
00:57:28Here's the rest of them.
00:57:29Get them out.
00:57:30Go, beat it, queen.
00:57:31Do your job.
00:57:32Now, listen, Debbie.
00:57:33I know we have not seen eye to eye, because I've seen wiener dogs taller than you.
00:57:37But you and I really need to work together to make this happen.
00:57:40You can count on me.
00:57:42And I'm not just saying I'll work with you now so I can double-cross you later.
00:57:46What?
00:57:46What?
00:57:58Tits up.
00:57:58I'm trying.
00:58:02Doc.
00:58:03Hi.
00:58:04We're the prostitutes here to fix the fags.
00:58:06Yeah.
00:58:06Oh, we're here to cure all the fags.
00:58:08Calm down.
00:58:09I got this, Mother Teresa.
00:58:14We've done first, but not much first.
00:58:17Come inside.
00:58:18Hmm.
00:58:18Don't mind if I do.
00:58:21Told ya.
00:58:22Comrade, we must two get to prison.
00:58:24I feel like prisons I have not felt since...
00:58:27It's the last time your hand was on my ass.
00:58:29Knock it off.
00:58:30Don't mind the rats, the rats.
00:58:32Don't mind you.
00:58:33I really like what you've done with the place.
00:58:35It's so drab.
00:58:36Best radiation.
00:58:37We have liquid, bud.
00:58:38Watch step.
00:58:39Is that plutorium?
00:58:41That's uranium-235.
00:58:43Very good.
00:58:44Thanks.
00:58:45Isn't it that they started with Gatorade, stupid homo?
00:58:47You're smarter than most whores we get, but just as homie.
00:58:52I'm sure you mean homely?
00:58:54No, homie.
00:58:55My mercy was homely.
00:58:56In you go.
00:58:59So, so what do we have to do?
00:59:01Yeah.
00:59:01Fix homo, and I pay you one potato each.
00:59:05One potato, two potato, three potato, net.
00:59:10He seems nice.
00:59:16Just to get set up, then we begin.
00:59:19Now, I think of some kinky shit, but this is weird, even for me.
00:59:24I can't wait to see the skank you picked out for me, though.
00:59:27I hope she's awful.
00:59:29Oh.
00:59:30She is.
00:59:31I thought there was going to be more hookers.
00:59:33I think it's just us.
00:59:34How does this work?
00:59:35Well, they've got him strapped to that machine to test his sexual response.
00:59:39Don't you watch Masters of Sex?
00:59:41Premium cable?
00:59:42I'm a teacher, not a lottery winner.
00:59:44There's a lot of lotteries you didn't win.
00:59:46While you're down there.
00:59:49Yes, daddy.
00:59:51Oh, okay.
00:59:52Oh, okay.
00:59:52Now, listen.
00:59:53They're going to pick one of us, hopefully you, to go over there and grope him to see
00:59:57if they can turn him on.
00:59:58Once he pops a boner, he's out of here.
01:00:00Free.
01:00:04In a secret Russian prison under the Kremlin, trying to turn this gay slut straight.
01:00:08And it's not like you sailed here on the good ship logic, did you?
01:00:17Buy a lady a drink first.
01:00:19I'll take an old spice.
01:00:21Neat.
01:00:22We must test you.
01:00:23Okay, which hooker you want?
01:00:25Oh, this is like Sophie's choice, except I want to be the kid who goes to the gas chamber.
01:00:30Is that an option?
01:00:31I pick for you.
01:00:32Now, listen.
01:00:33I want to help Rex, but if she picks me, I don't know if I can do this.
01:00:36It's going to be me anyway.
01:00:37I'm way prettier than you.
01:00:39You really haven't caught on to this whole homosexuality thing, have you, Debbie?
01:00:43Stop calling me Debbie!
01:00:44Rex is a walking hard-on.
01:00:46All you have to do is go near him.
01:00:47He'll pop a boner.
01:00:48You're a very lucky lady.
01:00:50Okay, show me hands.
01:00:53Thumbs up, hands.
01:00:54Okay, okay.
01:00:55No syphilis, but we use them anyway.
01:00:57Come on, you very old whore.
01:00:59You know what to do.
01:01:00Right here, right now, in this lighting.
01:01:02Make this queer a real man or you both die in Siberia.
01:01:05I thought I was getting a potato.
01:01:08Potato is for closers.
01:01:11There's got to be another way.
01:01:13Baby Syphilis is not so bad.
01:01:15Oh, please, you know you want this.
01:01:16You've wanted this since the night we met.
01:01:18I tripped over you in a snowbank.
01:01:20I thought you were homeless.
01:01:21Oh, yeah?
01:01:21Then why'd you try to kiss me, huh?
01:01:23That wasn't a kiss.
01:01:24I was giving you mouth to mouth.
01:01:26You weren't breathing.
01:01:27Well, I'm breathing now.
01:01:33If I throw up in my mouth, it's not going to be good for either one of us.
01:01:36Talking cost extra.
01:01:38No more potato.
01:01:39Kiss.
01:01:40Kiss now.
01:01:43Wait, before we do this, Richard, Richard, something I have to say.
01:01:48What?
01:01:48If Deborah is over there wearing my wig, I will kill you.
01:01:52Not if this kills me first.
01:02:00Not his boss.
01:02:01Sorry.
01:02:02I smell cabbage.
01:02:03Is anybody boiling cabbage?
01:02:05Listen.
01:02:06This is no fun for me, Arthur.
01:02:07Now focus.
01:02:08I swear to God, I will fist you like a muppet.
01:02:11Thanks for the dirty talk, but I don't think it'll help.
01:02:13Maybe if it killed your head a little so I can see the guard.
01:02:16No response.
01:02:17Come on.
01:02:17Again.
01:02:18Again.
01:02:18Again.
01:02:19Kiss.
01:02:19I really wish there was cyanide in my molar.
01:02:21Then we could both die.
01:02:24I mean, you know it's a sin, but you're just not prepared for how gross it is.
01:02:35Definitely boiled cabbage.
01:02:37Maybe with some turnips.
01:02:39Is anybody hungry?
01:02:40No.
01:02:40I think.
01:02:40I'm with.
01:02:44Rex, look, it's the guy from the science fair.
01:02:46I didn't think he was cute then, and I don't think it'll help now.
01:02:50Oh, I need adjustment.
01:02:51Honestly, I thought he was hotter as Kakyo.
01:02:54Wait, what?
01:02:56Nice to meet you.
01:03:00How did you miss that?
01:03:01I would think your nerdy senses would have been tingling.
01:03:04You are a science teacher.
01:03:06You know what to do.
01:03:12All fine now.
01:03:13Now listen.
01:03:14If you try to stick your tongue down my throat again, you're going to taste my lunch.
01:03:29Success!
01:03:30Yeah!
01:03:31Yeah!
01:03:32Oh, yes!
01:03:34Success!
01:03:35Yeah!
01:03:37Yeah!
01:03:37Success!
01:03:39Success!
01:03:40Oh!
01:03:41Hey!
01:03:42Take him back to his cell.
01:03:44Wait, what?
01:03:45I thought that they were released once they were cured.
01:03:48Girl, please look at him.
01:03:51He need many more treatment.
01:03:52But at least you don't go to Siberia.
01:03:55What about Carly?
01:03:56Carly?
01:03:57Who is this Carly?
01:03:58Shut your face, Debbie.
01:04:00You have my daughter, Carly.
01:04:01She isn't one of these flamers.
01:04:03Let her go.
01:04:04You can't be on good.
01:04:05I mean, you know how this all plays out.
01:04:07I've got a man waiting for me.
01:04:12Oops.
01:04:14Baby made a boom-boom.
01:04:20What is going on here?
01:04:22What is going on here?
01:04:22Mitch, what have you got?
01:04:24This hooker is a flaming drag queen and a degenerate homosexual.
01:04:28I'm the real woman here, okay?
01:04:30You can take her.
01:04:31Bianca Del Rio is the one that you want.
01:04:33You thought those heels were killing you before?
01:04:36Wait till I get a hold of you.
01:04:38Okay, that's it.
01:04:39Go!
01:04:40Guard!
01:04:41Take homo to sell.
01:04:42I stay with Mitch and these prostitutes till you get back.
01:04:45Come on.
01:04:46Go, go, go, go.
01:04:48Let's go.
01:04:49This is great.
01:04:50Now we're both going to rot this rat-fested prison together.
01:04:53You brought this on yourself, homo.
01:04:54Oh, yeah.
01:04:55They're probably going to put us in a cell together with each other.
01:04:57Wouldn't you like that, Debbie?
01:04:58You never called me Debbie!
01:05:03Oh, no.
01:05:04That voice threats.
01:05:06Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
01:05:09Stop that.
01:05:10Stop that with your baggy ties, your clown makeup, your nasty one-liners, and your personal abuse.
01:05:17You stop calling me Debbie!
01:05:21Oh, no.
01:05:22It's making season.
01:05:23Kiss me.
01:05:24Oh, oh.
01:05:26Little Debbie snack.
01:05:27Little Debbie with her happy-happy dresses.
01:05:29Little Debbie with her lip gloss addiction.
01:05:32Shut up.
01:05:33They called me Little Debbie snack cake.
01:05:35I was the shortest one in school.
01:05:37You're just as mean as they are.
01:05:39You dumb-smeasing mate.
01:05:45Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:05:47They're coming.
01:05:48They're coming.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:53Oh, no.
01:05:53They're coming.
01:05:54They're coming.
01:05:55They're making with my face.
01:05:58They're making with my face.
01:06:08You don't have a piece?
01:06:09Yeah.
01:06:10Maybe if I have a piece, I could have nothing.
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:12Looks like we're next.
01:06:14Well, you see, ever since Debbie here and her brother kidnapped me and left me to die in the woods,
01:06:17I never leave home without this.
01:06:18I don't have time for this.
01:06:20I don't have time for you.
01:06:21Давай, давай.
01:06:22Let's go.
01:06:23Oh, flashback.
01:06:27The prisoners are kept downstairs.
01:06:29They must to hurry.
01:06:33That works perfectly, Deborah.
01:06:35Wait, what?
01:06:36Your voice.
01:06:37It brought the rats.
01:06:39I told you we needed to work together.
01:06:44They must to flee that soon.
01:06:46Gargit get hungry.
01:06:50Look, they're out of here.
01:06:54Mom, is that you?
01:06:55Harley, I couldn't leave my baby here in prison.
01:06:59Listen, you guys, I'm going to have you out in no time.
01:07:01You and Bianca are working together.
01:07:03Just to get you out of here.
01:07:05Don't worry, she's going to get what's coming to her.
01:07:07Why haven't you learned anything from all this?
01:07:10Well, I learned to look pretty fierce as a blonde.
01:07:12Did you know rats have a mating season?
01:07:18It's okay, girl.
01:07:19He's with me.
01:07:21I told you I could take care of myself.
01:07:23I wish you would have told me that before I had to make out with you.
01:07:26Sleepy.
01:07:32No, sleep, you go.
01:07:33Sit down, sit down, sit down.
01:07:35Oh, Harley, you're free.
01:07:38I am.
01:07:40Now, help me shove Bianca in here.
01:07:42That's what I came here to do.
01:07:44No, Mama, I can't.
01:07:45Huh?
01:07:46You're right.
01:07:46I am free.
01:07:48Finally free of you.
01:07:49No!
01:07:50Harley!
01:07:51What are you doing?
01:07:52These flavors turning you against me?
01:07:54They're just people, just like you and me, Mama.
01:07:55Trying to do the right thing.
01:07:57But we were never trying to do the right thing.
01:07:59I mean, all that hate.
01:08:00And for what?
01:08:01You can't just leave me in here.
01:08:03Sorry, Mama.
01:08:04You said prison made a new woman out of you.
01:08:07I made a new woman out of me, too.
01:08:10No!
01:08:13I'll get you, Bianca.
01:08:14This ain't over.
01:08:16Looks like you're the cat.
01:08:18You're gonna have to hold your own legs.
01:08:20Bitch!
01:08:21You ain't seen nothing yet.
01:08:22As soon as I get out of here, I'm coming for you, Bianca!
01:08:24I'm coming for you!
01:08:26Oh, no.
01:08:27Look at those horny rats.
01:08:41It's clear, it's over.
01:08:43Thank you for everything.
01:08:47It's good to eat, it's good to eat.
01:08:49It's good to eat, it's good to eat.
01:09:03I can't believe that you would do that to Debra.
01:09:05I mean, I wouldn't even leave her in that jail cell.
01:09:07Well, Rex has been nothing but kind to me.
01:09:10I mean, it makes me question what this whole thing was about in the first place.
01:09:15Maybe we are better together living side by side instead of tearing each other down.
01:09:21Bianca has told me a snake that bites her boobs off.
01:09:24I know a doctor who can make new again, creamy, like mashed potatoes.
01:09:28They will be mashed potatoes.
01:09:30Perhaps a bit lumpy, but we do our best.
01:09:32Okay.
01:09:34Tater tits.
01:09:35Let's go.
01:09:40I'll never forget you.
01:09:42Hey!
01:09:43Wait up.
01:09:46Hey, guys, let's blow this pop stand.
01:09:49Oh, he's not coming with us?
01:09:50Oh, your new boyfriend.
01:09:52Oh, that was just a prison thing.
01:09:53He knows that.
01:09:54Besides, I think my time behind bars proves I don't need a man to protect me anymore.
01:09:59No, what you need to protect you is bubble wrap.
01:10:01I've been doing just fine in New York since you left.
01:10:03I don't need you to worry about me anymore, Mom.
01:10:05But I do worry about you.
01:10:07Why don't you think those bricks of cocaine in your bag would help?
01:10:10Not that bag.
01:10:11The other bag.
01:10:12There were two bags.
01:10:13Like the ones under your eyes.
01:10:15All right, you got me on that.
01:10:17Look, it's the lot of lupuses.
01:10:19We run now.
01:10:21Degenerate homosexuals are escaping.
01:10:23Let's get down.
01:10:37Go, go, go, go.
01:10:41Go, go, go.
01:10:46Perfect timing, as always.
01:10:49Girl, you know I got your back.
01:10:51All right, that's because nobody wants your front, but, uh...
01:10:55So that is end of Svetlana's lupusness.
01:10:57Who is going to host next season of Homo Hunters?
01:11:00That was a good show.
01:11:02R.I.P.
01:11:03Thanks for all of your help, Netea.
01:11:05Sorry that we got your club raided and that we blew up your job.
01:11:09But maybe this means that you can come to America now.
01:11:12If you'd like to, I...
01:11:13Well, I would like it a lot.
01:11:15It's tempting.
01:11:16I would like to know you better.
01:11:18But still so much work to be done.
01:11:20Your taxes has given me hope that if we stay in fights, we can have taxes too.
01:11:26Oh, that is the saddest and dumbest thing I think I've ever heard.
01:11:31I understand.
01:11:32You should stay and make a bad situation better.
01:11:35I mean, that's the whole reason why I moved to Texas in the first place.
01:11:38And the reason why...
01:11:45True.
01:11:46I'll help.
01:11:47Only a few queers can change my mind.
01:11:49Anyone can change.
01:11:54Oh, come on.
01:11:55Is nobody going to eat that?
01:11:58Oh.
01:12:09It's three months now since we moved to Homo House and it's great.
01:12:13Sometimes I miss the breeze come through the cracks in the walls, but...
01:12:16And now we have central heat.
01:12:19Then I build fire in the middle of room.
01:12:21And basement have swing.
01:12:24Ooh, basement, what treat?
01:12:25It's a funny kind of swing.
01:12:27It's in basement closet.
01:12:28Not so much with the Wii.
01:12:30Sometimes I climb into the swing.
01:12:32I hear moans.
01:12:33I think Homo House haunted.
01:12:35But it's just my boy.
01:12:38I like.
01:12:44In international news, Russia continues to insist they weren't running a secret gay prison under
01:12:49the Kremlin and that the explosion last month in downtown Moscow was just a gas leak.
01:12:55But word that dozens of gay people have been arrested and imprisoned in Russia has sparked outrage and protest all
01:13:01around the world.
01:13:02Personally, I'm supporting gay rights by wearing this outfit that Roger told me I look great in.
01:13:08But I'm pretty sure he distressed me as Barb from Stranger Things.
01:13:11And yes, justice for Barb.
01:13:14That is what it is all.
01:13:17It's dead.
01:13:18It could be in your purse right now.
01:13:21Yeah, I think we'll find out in the next hour.
01:13:24I think.
01:13:30Rex, no.
01:13:32Rex, no.
01:13:32Rex, if you don't bring your hoish ass...
01:13:34Rex, no.
01:14:04Rex, no.
01:14:05Rex, no.