- 8 hours ago
First broadcast 10th April 2025.
An isolated man is introduced to a groundbreaking system that allows its users to literally step inside old photographs.
Paul Giamatti - Phillip
Patsy Ferran - The Guide/Kelly Royce
Ramesh Nair - Karthik
Declan Mason - Young Philip
Hazel Monaghan - Young Carol
Ava Galindez - Emma
Paul Kissaun - Photo Assistant
Dominic Bruce-Radcliffe - Zeke
Michael Sotillo - Adam
Sophie Dragon - Amanda
Rebecca Ozer - Carol (voice)
An isolated man is introduced to a groundbreaking system that allows its users to literally step inside old photographs.
Paul Giamatti - Phillip
Patsy Ferran - The Guide/Kelly Royce
Ramesh Nair - Karthik
Declan Mason - Young Philip
Hazel Monaghan - Young Carol
Ava Galindez - Emma
Paul Kissaun - Photo Assistant
Dominic Bruce-Radcliffe - Zeke
Michael Sotillo - Adam
Sophie Dragon - Amanda
Rebecca Ozer - Carol (voice)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:09Oh, my God.
00:37Hello?
00:38Hello. Am I speaking to Mr. Philip Connarty?
00:41It's pronounced Connarty.
00:44Apologies. I'm calling on behalf of a Miss Kelly Royce.
00:49I don't know a Kelly Royce.
00:50Absolutely, but this regards Miss Royce's mother, Carol Royce.
00:54I don't know a Carol Royce, either.
00:57Her maiden name was Hartman. Carol Hartman.
01:04Yeah, I know the name.
01:07Um...
01:09I knew her. Uh, sorry, why are you calling?
01:13I'm afraid she passed away last Wednesday.
01:16Her daughter wanted you to know.
01:26Hello.
01:28Tell her I'm sorry for her loss. Uh...
01:31Of course.
01:32Thank you for letting me know.
01:33There will, of course, be a funeral in London. In England.
01:37In England.
01:41No, I'm... I can't, uh...
01:44No, that's understood. I'm not calling about attendance. I'm from a company called Eulogy.
01:50Eulogy, okay.
01:51We're helping the family curate an immersive memorial.
01:56Immersive memorial. Mm-hmm.
01:57We've been contacting names in her mother's old papers, which is where you were listed.
02:01Locating people you knew Carol in her youth has been challenging.
02:04If you could contribute a memory, it would mean a great deal to the family.
02:08It was all so long ago, and I can't, uh...
02:10Well, you won't have to write anything.
02:12The eulogy system curates your recollections and uploads them for the memorial.
02:16Would you like to take part?
02:17I'm not sure.
02:19It's entirely voluntary.
02:20If it's easier, we can just send you the kit, and you can decide then.
02:24The kit?
02:31The kit.
02:59The kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:01the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:01the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:02the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:02the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:02the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:03the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit,
03:03the kit, the kit, the kit, the kit
03:19Hello?
03:20Ah!
03:22Hello?
03:28Hello?
03:29You don't have to speak directly into me.
03:31Sorry, I know that's a weird thing to say.
03:32Sorry.
03:33I've got a bit of an opening spiel I need to do here.
03:36Go for it.
03:37Okay.
03:39Today, we celebrate the life of Carol Royce.
03:42As guide, my role is to help you reminisce, relive, and curate your fondest memories of her.
03:48Yeah, can we maybe skip the intro?
03:49Just tell me what you need me to do.
03:51Okay.
03:52So, first, let's calibrate.
03:56Simply place the guide disc, that's me, on your temple.
04:02This, like, on the side of my, like...
04:05That's it.
04:07Now all you have to do is think of Carol.
04:10Well, I haven't done that for a long time.
04:13Understood.
04:14But try to recall her now.
04:17Close your eyes and picture her face.
04:30Okay, uh, not really getting anything.
04:32Oh, no.
04:34Sorry, but, uh...
04:36Just, uh, just try to focus.
04:38I am, but it's hard to, uh...
04:41To see her clearly?
04:44Yes.
04:44At first, getting hold of a memory feels like trying to grab a river with your hands.
04:49Oh, boy.
04:50Yeah, sorry, not my words.
04:52That's what the, uh, brochure says.
04:54What helps are tangible prompts.
04:56Photos, songs, mementos, that kind of thing.
04:59Can't you supply photos?
05:00Oh, I'm not allowed to provide external material.
05:03It would get mixed up with your memories.
05:05They do it this way to keep the recollections accurate.
05:08Right, right, right.
05:09But if you grant access to your photo cloud, I can search for images of Carol.
05:13Smartphones and clouds didn't exist back when I knew her.
05:16Um, okay, but do you have any physical photos?
05:24Oh, my God.
05:31Oh, my God.
06:04Are you there?
06:05Yeah, did you find some?
06:05Uh, a few.
06:06A few.
06:08Okay, three.
06:09I can process up to 1,500 photos.
06:12And I got you three.
06:12They recommend a minimum of six different images.
06:16Can we just get going with this?
06:17Absolutely.
06:19So?
06:20So, pop me back on, lay out the first image you'd like to import, and then look at it.
06:27Literally just look at it.
06:29That's right.
06:29Okay.
06:30Uh, the first one is, uh, this.
06:34Okay.
06:35What are we looking at here?
06:36That's the day I met Carol.
06:37This would have been in Brooklyn.
06:39Rooftop barbecue at the Coop.
06:40The Coop?
06:41Uh, yeah, it used to be a squat.
06:43Um, idea was it was a co-op, so everyone just called it Coop, hence the Coop.
06:48I mean, we were just kids, really, but we called ourselves artists, musicians, misfits.
06:55Well, believe it or not, that, uh, that young man is me, and that is Carol.
07:02What, the woman with her back to us?
07:04Yeah.
07:05We're looking for a clear recollection of her.
07:08This is what I have.
07:09We can enhance the moment by entering the image.
07:13Shall we go in?
07:15What do you mean, go in?
07:16It's easiest to just show you.
07:29Jesus Christ.
07:33Hi.
07:33Ah.
07:34Sorry.
07:36It's me.
07:37Your guide.
07:38Holy crap.
07:39I didn't mean to make you jump.
07:40No, it's, it's not, it's just that this, it's...
07:44Take a moment to get your bearings.
07:54This is the photograph fused with your memories.
07:57Some parts are missing, but details appear as and when your memories fill out.
08:06So when this was taken, this was before you and Carol got together.
08:10Huh.
08:11Well, I never said we got together.
08:13Oh, come on.
08:15Look at the way you're looking at her.
08:17And I'm guessing she was looking back at you the same way.
08:22I've made her laugh.
08:25She was new in the house.
08:26I didn't know her, but I wanted to, and I'd made her laugh.
08:30And she looked...
08:32Oh, Christ.
08:33It's okay.
08:34No, there's no, um, I can't see her face.
08:36It'll come to you.
08:37Try to focus on what you can recall of this moment.
08:42Okay.
08:45Um.
08:48She had just moved in.
08:49Uh.
08:51She kept to herself.
08:52She had been studying the cello.
08:54She was usually in her room, practicing.
08:57I think she still had a boyfriend back home at this point.
09:01Fiance.
09:02Sorry?
09:03There's an engagement ring on her finger.
09:06See?
09:06The eye can't make that level of detail out in your photo,
09:09but there's enough there for the algorithmic sharpening to make visible to us in here.
09:12I never knew she was engaged.
09:14Maybe you chose not to see, or not to remember.
09:17Oh, she never said it was that serious.
09:19Perhaps she underplayed it.
09:21Didn't want to scare you off.
09:23Uh-huh.
09:26Shall we mark this moment for potential upload for the memorial?
09:30I don't think her family would appreciate seeing a fond memory of her flirting with me while engaged to someone
09:36else.
09:36Hmm, you're right.
09:38Well, it would be an honest representation of her character.
09:43Shall we move on?
09:50Jesus Christ.
09:52Yeah, don't worry.
09:54These transitions should get less disorientating as you go.
09:58Shall we try your next photo?
10:01Okay.
10:03Looks like another party.
10:04Uh, yeah, I can't remember what for.
10:07Any excuse would do, you know.
10:09That was the coop.
10:10Okay, a lot of faces.
10:12Why don't you talk me through who's who?
10:14Uh, okay.
10:18That's Emma with the blonde hair.
10:21And the guy with the bong, that's Jammo.
10:25And the girl lying back there is Amanda.
10:28And you'd have liked her if she was British, like you.
10:34But there's no Carol.
10:36Or you.
10:38No, we're not in the photo, but, uh, we were definitely both at this party.
10:44Hmm.
10:46Looks like there was a record playing.
10:48Fool's Gold by...
10:50Stone Roses.
10:52That's one of Amanda's.
10:54Music's great for jogging the memory.
11:10There.
11:13Right.
11:14Yeah.
11:17We were through there.
11:20Down the hall.
11:23That was the first time me and Carol really got talking.
11:27I was so nervous.
11:30My brain screaming behind my ears.
11:33Don't fuck this up, man.
11:38But I didn't fuck it up.
11:42Talking with her was easy.
11:44She was funny.
11:47Can you remember what you talked about?
11:52No, but...
11:55She was like no one I'd ever known.
11:57Or even thought of knowing.
12:05That was our first night together.
12:15I can't use this either, can I?
12:18I screwed the deceased.
12:19May she rest in peace.
12:21Probably not.
12:25Well, um, let's try your last photo.
12:31Me again.
12:32The hell was I wearing?
12:35Don't have a clue who took this.
12:37I didn't notice anyone taking it.
12:39There's still no sign of Carol.
12:40No, but I was listening.
12:44To her.
12:50She was in her room.
12:52On her cello, practicing.
12:56Lost in it.
12:58She didn't know I was watching.
13:06She's in there, but I can't see her.
13:08Can you remember what she was playing?
13:11This thing she used to play over and over.
13:14It was a beautiful piece of music.
13:15If you can remember the name of the piece,
13:17I can look it up.
13:19Listening might fill out the memory.
13:22No, it won't be on a surface.
13:25She wrote it herself.
13:28It was a piece she composed?
13:29Yeah.
13:30She was good.
13:33She was good.
13:37Well, it's a shame you don't have any more photos,
13:40but since that's all you have,
13:41perhaps we should try to use some other form of stimuli.
13:43It's not.
13:45Sorry?
13:49I've got other pictures.
13:51Of her.
13:53Great, then.
13:53Well, let's look at those.
13:56They won't help.
14:16See what I mean?
14:19Yeah.
14:23You're so after we broke up.
14:25If it had her face in it,
14:27I either threw it out or I did that.
14:29You were upset with her.
14:31That's one way of putting it.
14:32Yeah.
14:36You won't ever know how hard I felt for that girl,
14:40like beyond everything.
14:44And she said, she always said,
14:46she felt the same,
14:47and I believed she felt the same,
14:50and then she drops me.
14:51Okay.
14:55Into a pit.
14:56Just a fucking pit.
14:58Just cold.
14:59Bang.
15:00Just see ya.
15:02Not a word.
15:03Just walks away.
15:07And she went on with her life online.
15:09Just stopped.
15:11So that was me.
15:12Lost.
15:13No hope.
15:14Nothing.
15:17So then came the drinking,
15:19all that shit,
15:20the desperation of it.
15:22Fucking shame.
15:24Me and Carol were together three years.
15:26It took me 15
15:28to climb out of the hole she put me in.
15:30So, yes,
15:32I was upset.
15:33And you never stayed in touch?
15:36Uh, no.
15:38No, we did not.
15:41Re-examining the past
15:42isn't always comfortable,
15:44but sometimes...
15:44Okay, sorry,
15:46but...
15:46Yeah.
15:48There were good times
15:50when we were together.
15:51I know that,
15:52but, uh...
15:55It's all gone.
15:57I can't even picture her face anymore.
16:01Do you want to stop?
16:07No.
16:08Well, do you have
16:09any particular memories
16:10associated with
16:11what's left of these photos?
16:13I don't...
16:14Um...
16:15Used to, maybe?
16:16I don't know.
16:17It's just the more
16:17you can recall,
16:18the more likely it is
16:19we can restore
16:20your memory of her face.
16:26All right, then,
16:27let's try this one.
16:29Which one's you?
16:31Sorry, I'm joking.
16:33You're hilarious.
16:34What do you remember
16:35about the day this was taken?
16:36It was wet.
16:37Well, that's a start.
16:39Let's see what else
16:40you can recall.
16:43So where exactly are we?
16:45Uh, the pier at Cape Cod.
16:48Well, that's where you live now.
16:50Yeah, well, I inherited
16:51my folks' house,
16:53but they were out of town,
16:54so we took the opportunity
16:55to take a cheap little vacation.
16:59My first getaway
17:00with a girlfriend.
17:03Who took the photo?
17:05Uh, just a tourist.
17:07Some passerby
17:08we handed the camera to
17:09and asked.
17:13I liked this photo
17:14more than Carol did.
17:16She wasn't into hot dogs.
17:17No, it was the beer.
17:20Could have put that bottle
17:21down for the picture,
17:22you know.
17:22Oh, yeah.
17:23She had a point.
17:24Yeah.
17:26You know,
17:26it was on this trip
17:27that we knew
17:28we were serious.
17:31Lying in bed,
17:32fascinated by each other's eyes,
17:35I love you,
17:37back and forth,
17:38all that.
17:38Nothing else existed.
17:40Just us.
17:41That's all we needed.
17:45We made plans.
17:48Man, we were so young.
17:55So what were the plans?
17:57Well, we decided
17:58to get our own place together.
18:00Black and white.
18:01That's a bit arty.
18:05This is at
18:06tiny place
18:07of her piano store.
18:09Uh, I took the picture,
18:10so I would have been
18:12about there.
18:13Hmm.
18:15Can you remember
18:15what color she's
18:16painting with here?
18:17Well, the walls
18:18were nicotine yellow
18:19when we moved in.
18:21First place of our own
18:22for both of us.
18:24We wanted to make
18:25our marks,
18:26so we painted
18:28the whole place
18:29blue.
18:31Yeah, that's it.
18:32Blue.
18:36Oh, my God,
18:39the landlord
18:39lost his shit.
18:40We weren't supposed
18:41to redecorate.
18:43It's a stupid idea,
18:44really.
18:45It made it look
18:45even smaller
18:46than it already was.
18:47The two of you
18:48were happy here.
18:49Mm-hmm.
18:50Just me and her.
18:52And the cello.
18:53We both kept up
18:54the music.
18:55She joined
18:56the band by now.
18:58You're in a band together?
18:59Oh, yeah.
19:00I'll show you.
19:02Here.
19:03It's one of our gigs.
19:04It's about
19:0591, I think.
19:09I stabbed it
19:10with a pen.
19:12Will it still work?
19:13Should do.
19:15There we are.
19:18So Carol played
19:19keyboards?
19:20Yeah.
19:21That was my idea.
19:22Not cello.
19:24Cello wouldn't have
19:24fitted our sound.
19:26You could adapt
19:27the sound.
19:28She could play
19:29anything.
19:29It might not have
19:30been the cello,
19:31but she was fine
19:31with it.
19:32She told you that?
19:34Sorry,
19:34it's not a trial.
19:35No, it's not.
19:40We were getting
19:41quite a following.
19:47I'm not saying
19:48we were a big deal,
19:49but maybe we could
19:49have been.
19:53Have you got a
19:54recording?
19:55It might bring back
19:56more of the moment.
19:57Not anymore, no.
19:59Zeke quit the band,
20:00moved to Seattle,
20:01decided he was God,
20:03and that was it
20:04for us.
20:04So, no,
20:05no recording.
20:08It's just as well.
20:10Hearing his voice
20:11gives me hives,
20:11to be honest.
20:12He went on to
20:13become a big deal,
20:14didn't he?
20:14Yeah, well,
20:15assholes prosper.
20:18Maybe we could have
20:19kept going without him,
20:20but Carol's heart
20:22wasn't in it.
20:24Maybe you should have
20:25let her play cello.
20:26Maybe you could
20:27say cello again.
20:28Well, the cello
20:29was important to her.
20:30I know.
20:30She played it
20:30her whole life,
20:31taught her daughter
20:32to play it.
20:32Are you supposed
20:33to be mildly annoying?
20:35Is that how they
20:35coded you?
20:37I wasn't really
20:38coded.
20:40Well, generated.
20:40Okay.
20:41Generated from
20:42some digital asshole.
20:49Sorry.
20:51Apology accepted.
20:55Let's try
20:56another picture.
21:00Okay, so these are
21:02definitely all 91.
21:04Halloween at the
21:05underval.
21:06Oh, this is good.
21:07With multiple photos,
21:08we'll get a compass
21:09of the entire night.
21:12Yeah, jammo took
21:13a whole bunch.
21:14Wild night,
21:15a lot of drinking.
21:16And I mean a lot.
21:19Jesus, that's Carol
21:20in red there.
21:21I was so mad
21:22I used a cigarette
21:23on this.
21:23You burned your own
21:24face out too?
21:25That's not me.
21:29That's me
21:30in the hockey mask.
21:31I had the bar job
21:32by now.
21:33So who's Beetlejuice?
21:34Just some
21:35dickbag
21:36trying his luck
21:37with my girlfriend.
21:39Even though
21:39you're standing
21:40right there
21:40dressed like Jason
21:41from Friday the 13th?
21:43Exactly.
21:44I was that close
21:45and she still
21:45just sat with this guy
21:47right in front of me.
21:49Looks like you
21:49had company too.
21:51Who's she?
21:52Oh, that's Emma.
21:53She was in the
21:54coop photos earlier.
21:56Yeah,
21:56she worked there too.
22:00So...
22:02we worked together.
22:06Oh, Jesus,
22:07not you too.
22:12Carol thought
22:13I encouraged her,
22:14which I didn't.
22:15It was a bar job
22:16for Christ's sake.
22:17You joke around.
22:18So she was jealous?
22:21We fought about it
22:22that night.
22:23I was pissed
22:24she'd been sitting
22:24all night with
22:25Mr. Asshole.
22:27Looks like she wants
22:28to get away from him.
22:30What?
22:31She's leaning back
22:33like his breath smells.
22:36Okay,
22:37that's one snapshot.
22:38Believe me,
22:39she could have moved
22:40any time.
22:40She was there
22:41the whole night with her.
22:42The whole night?
22:42Absolutely.
22:45I think so.
22:47See that area?
22:49Jammo must have
22:49photographed it
22:50at some other point
22:51that night.
22:52Isn't that Carol
22:52with her back to us
22:53in red?
22:55Okay,
22:56not the whole night,
22:57literally.
23:01It was just
23:02a stupid fight.
23:06She went on
23:07and on,
23:08and then
23:09she blamed me
23:10that she didn't
23:11get an early night
23:11because she had
23:12some audition
23:13tryout thing
23:14the next day.
23:15Brooklyn Philharmonic
23:17for the cello,
23:19and she didn't get it.
23:20She must have been
23:21sad about that.
23:22Not for long.
23:24I opened the door
23:24to other things
23:25for her.
23:27Oh,
23:27when the orchestra gig
23:28didn't work out,
23:29she was bummed.
23:30She didn't have any work.
23:32But then Amanda,
23:34the British girl
23:35from the coop,
23:36she'd moved back home,
23:38pulled a couple
23:39of strings,
23:40got Carol a six-month
23:41placement in the
23:42orchestra pit
23:42for Phantom of the Opera,
23:44of all things.
23:45London's West End.
23:47Total tourist bullshit,
23:49but she was excited,
23:52as she was.
23:54You didn't want her to go?
23:56She kept saying
23:57it's just for a few months,
23:58but it's easy to say that
24:00when you're the one
24:01going on an adventure.
24:07She sent me a postcard
24:08every week.
24:09Upbeat,
24:10but saying she missed me.
24:12Little poems and such.
24:13Maybe we could scan
24:15in one of the, uh...
24:16I was thorough.
24:18So you didn't see her
24:19for a while?
24:20No,
24:21but we arranged for me
24:22to fly out there in the fall,
24:23see her for a long weekend,
24:24but I felt so far away,
24:27you know?
24:29A long time on my own.
24:31What's this?
24:33My birthday.
24:35So you weren't alone
24:36the whole time she was gone?
24:38What do you mean?
24:39Well,
24:39someone took this photo.
24:50So that's...
24:51Emma.
24:52Oh,
24:53God,
24:54yeah.
24:55Oh,
24:57Christ,
24:58yeah.
24:59Um,
25:00don't look at me like that.
25:01Like what?
25:02Like you are.
25:03I'm not looking at you
25:04like anything.
25:07Uh...
25:07Uh...
25:09Okay,
25:09so it was my birthday.
25:11I had a few drinks at work.
25:13Uh,
25:13not my idea.
25:14They were practically
25:14forcing shots on me.
25:16Sure.
25:16And then Emma came back
25:17to the apartment
25:18and,
25:18you know,
25:19uh,
25:20we weren't...
25:20It was a dumb thing,
25:23okay?
25:24It was just a one-off thing.
25:29I mean,
25:30we'd have just regretted it,
25:32me and Emma,
25:32in secret.
25:33It wouldn't have been
25:34a big fucking deal
25:35if...
25:36If what?
25:45My Carol never called.
25:47Couldn't afford to.
25:49The long distance
25:50back then was a fortune.
25:52But this night,
25:53she gets up early
25:54and called to sing me
25:55Happy Birthday.
25:57And Emma answers the call.
25:59I don't know why.
26:00Making mischief?
26:02Yeah,
26:02I don't know,
26:03maybe.
26:05Anyhow,
26:05shit hit the fan.
26:09Me and Carol
26:09screaming at each other
26:10down the line.
26:11She yelled
26:12all kinds of shit.
26:13I yelled
26:14all kinds of shit back.
26:18Ugly,
26:18scorched earth
26:19stuff.
26:22Ugly.
26:25She hung up on me.
26:26Or I hung up on her.
26:28I don't know.
26:29I can't fucking remember.
26:38But, yeah,
26:39anyway,
26:41not good.
26:42Do you want to mark
26:43this memory for potential
26:44upload?
26:45For the memorial?
26:47I never thought
26:48I was perfect.
26:48You said a lot
26:49about Carol's failings.
26:51She did this,
26:52she did that,
26:52she's the root
26:53of all evil.
26:54Okay,
26:55you don't understand.
26:56What did she do
26:56that was so awful,
26:57so heinous,
26:58you become this
26:59wounded dog?
27:00I haven't shown you yet.
27:11You remember I told you
27:13we arranged for me
27:13to fly out there?
27:15Mm-hmm.
27:15I already had my ticket,
27:16so...
27:17So Carol knew
27:17you were coming?
27:18Right.
27:19A few months or so
27:19after my birthday.
27:22Now,
27:22she was staying
27:23in this British family
27:24spare room
27:25in the sticks somewhere,
27:25so I booked
27:26us a stupid suite
27:27in a hotel
27:28I couldn't afford.
27:30Big romantic.
27:31Nice.
27:32I went to the matinee.
27:35Not my thing,
27:36and I couldn't even
27:37see her, of course.
27:38She was in the pit
27:39somewhere,
27:40but I met her
27:42at the stage door
27:43after.
27:43I took her suitcase
27:45back to the hotel,
27:47and...
27:50we went out
27:50for dinner.
27:52Anywhere nice?
27:55Hmm.
27:57To a fancy restaurant.
27:58I'd read this article
27:59about it on the flight.
28:01When I landed,
28:02I called to see
28:03if they had a table
28:04for two.
28:05I think they bumped
28:07someone when I told
28:08them what I was
28:09gonna do.
28:10What do you mean?
28:33they were over here.
28:36So walk through
28:37what happened.
28:43Well,
28:45oh...
28:48She looked kind of
28:49the same,
28:50but different.
28:52She put on weight,
28:54but I couldn't see that.
28:55I thought she looked
28:56beautiful.
28:58and I ordered
28:59a bottle of champagne
29:00first time
29:01I'd done that
29:01anywhere,
29:03which she didn't
29:04touch it.
29:04She didn't want
29:05to drink anything.
29:07And I was like,
29:08come on.
29:09I've come all this way.
29:10I have won,
29:11but no.
29:14So I had to bite
29:14my tongue
29:15because, you know,
29:15it was irritating.
29:18I had the ring
29:19in my pocket,
29:20so I was nervous
29:22on draining
29:23the glasses.
29:24And finally,
29:26I pluck up
29:26the nerve
29:27and I take out
29:28the ring
29:29and I almost
29:29dropped it.
29:30I was so jittery.
29:35And she looks
29:36at it
29:37and
29:40she goes quiet.
29:43She doesn't
29:44say anything.
29:45She doesn't
29:46even look at me.
29:50And now the waitresses
29:51are shooting
29:52looks over
29:52because they know
29:53I'm there to propose,
29:54so I'm on display.
29:55You know,
29:56my cheeks are burning,
29:57my throat is dry,
29:58so I'm drinking more,
29:59and then in the end,
30:00I just,
30:00I ask her,
30:01just say something.
30:05Say anything.
30:09And she's just
30:10staring at the floor,
30:11so I bang the table
30:12with my fist,
30:13and now
30:14everybody's watching,
30:17and she just gets up
30:23and walks out.
30:30And there's just silence.
30:32There's just the clanging
30:33in the kitchen.
30:36and I'm there,
30:37and everyone's quiet,
30:40the staff can't make
30:41eye contact,
30:41just this stink
30:43of humiliation
30:44on me.
30:53Oh, I sat there
30:54and I finished
30:54that bottle.
30:57They told me
30:57I didn't have to pay for it,
30:58but I insisted I would.
31:00I didn't want their pity.
31:01No,
31:01because you could
31:02provide your own.
31:06What?
31:12You're talking a lot
31:13about how sad you were.
31:16I was destroyed.
31:17And how was she?
31:18I'm not saying
31:19that she was a big,
31:20happy fucking sandwich,
31:22but she walked out on me.
31:24Not a word as to why.
31:25Would you have listened
31:26if she told you?
31:27A bottle of champagne down.
31:29Of course.
31:30So why do you think
31:31she left?
31:32Maybe she was cheating.
31:35Maybe she was sick of me.
31:37Maybe she was cruel.
31:40She knew
31:41that I was coming.
31:42She could have
31:43ended it on the phone.
31:44She made me fly
31:44all that way.
31:45She knew that I was coming.
31:46coming to propose.
31:48Like that's a big difference.
31:51You said this was
31:52autumn 92.
31:54Fall, yes.
31:55Like October.
31:55She looked sort of different.
31:57Wouldn't drink.
31:59She was pregnant.
32:01With me.
32:09Kelly Royce.
32:10Carol's daughter.
32:12The one she taught
32:13to play cello.
32:17Don't worry.
32:18You're not my dad.
32:20He was a one-night stand.
32:22Played xylophone in the orchestra,
32:23believe it or not.
32:28You're Carol's daughter.
32:30Yes.
32:31Well, kind of.
32:33I'm not real.
32:35I'm a disposable avatar.
32:38A temp guide and echo, really.
32:41I'm programmed with her thoughts
32:43and opinions
32:44so I can decide
32:45what she'd like to include
32:46without her having to be exposed
32:47to everything herself,
32:48which, as you can imagine,
32:51might be upsetting.
32:52Why didn't you say?
32:54You said,
32:55skip the intro.
33:05So you know everything
33:06that the real daughter knows.
33:08More or less.
33:09So you already knew everything
33:10I've been telling you here.
33:11Well, some of it,
33:12but to be honest,
33:13she never really spoke much
33:14about this time in her life.
33:19I think looking back
33:20was painful for her.
33:22It doesn't mean
33:22your time together
33:23wasn't meaningful.
33:24Probably the opposite.
33:32This guy, your dad.
33:35What was he like?
33:36I just want to know.
33:37Why?
33:38She cheated with him.
33:39You mean followed your lead?
33:41Could you just tell me?
33:43I never knew much about him.
33:45He was called Brian.
33:47Brian?
33:47Yeah.
33:48And they were never together,
33:50and by the time I was born,
33:51he was in Manchester.
33:52I saw him maybe five or six times,
33:55and the last time,
33:56he was ranting about some online
33:57rabbit hole conspiracy theory,
33:59and the year after that,
34:01I heard he died of COVID.
34:02Oh, boy.
34:04He sounds like a real catch.
34:06Great choice, Carol.
34:07Ha.
34:08Great choice.
34:15Sorry.
34:19It's okay.
34:21She'd agree.
34:26She said she wrote to you
34:27to explain,
34:28or at least start the conversation,
34:29and you never replied.
34:31She never wrote to me.
34:32That's what she told me.
34:33She never wrote.
34:35Or I never got it.
34:36I didn't get it.
34:38I'd have listened.
34:39Yeah, and said get rid of it.
34:40No, I don't know.
34:43We'd have talked it over.
34:44And you'd have heard her?
34:45Yes, I would.
34:46Yes, I would.
34:52I want to get out of here.
35:11I just want to see her, you know?
35:14Maybe there's something else
35:15that could joke your memory.
35:16I don't know.
35:17Well, um, what about in that box?
35:21Is that, like, a camera there?
35:23This?
35:24Yeah.
35:25It's a disposable camera.
35:28Big in the 90s.
35:29I got it at the airport.
35:31The plan was we would take photos
35:32around the city together.
35:33That never happened, of course.
35:35I never...
35:49Here.
35:52I haven't seen one of these in forever.
35:54Can you still process it?
35:56But there's only one photo been taken.
35:58I know, I know, I know.
36:00I'll have to wind it on.
36:01Okay.
36:03You'll waste the rest of the film.
36:04But you can retrieve the one photo.
36:06Might take a while.
36:08I'll wait.
36:09Matte or gloss?
36:11Matte.
36:26So?
36:28Was there anything on it?
36:38Here.
36:39I think I took this.
36:40Just a nothing photo.
36:41Oh.
36:44Look, we could still go in.
36:46What's the point?
36:47Well, you took it on your trip.
36:49So it might give us something.
36:51Sure.
36:54Told you it's nothing.
36:56Nothing.
36:59This was the hotel room.
37:01When I came back from the restaurant,
37:03our case was gone,
37:04so I knew that was that.
37:08And I took it out on the room.
37:12That's pathetic.
37:16What are you even looking for?
37:18I just want to see what your camera picked up.
37:25There's a note here.
37:28It says Philly.
37:29The system's sharpened it up.
37:31There's a piece of paper here with Philly written on it.
37:33That's what she called me.
37:34I'm pretty sure it's her writing.
37:35Well, I never saw that.
37:37Philip, it's just part of the image.
37:40Oh, my.
37:40You won't be able to pick it up, huh?
37:43I'm sorry, that's just not how it works.
37:45Oh, come on, man.
37:46Please, come on.
37:54Get me out of here.
37:59Maybe you kept it somewhere.
38:01No.
38:02Are you sure?
38:03I'd fucking remember.
38:07Sorry.
38:08It's okay.
38:10Let's just walk through what you did
38:12after you took the photo.
38:21Um, I just smashed the room up.
38:23Uh, I went out, drank myself into a blur.
38:29Then when I got back, the maid had cleaned the place up,
38:32put it all in a little pile.
38:33I just packed everything up.
38:35I put it away, and I never...
39:04Philly, I have to tell you something.
39:07I couldn't say earlier, I froze.
39:10I'm sorry.
39:12Please, please don't hate me.
39:16That day I rang and got Emma, I was so mad.
39:22I had a one-night stand with someone in the orchestra here.
39:27It didn't mean anything, and I'm sorry.
39:33I've missed my period.
39:36I don't know what to do.
39:38I love you, and I want us to work, but I don't know how you'll feel.
39:43I think I want to keep the baby.
39:46I don't know.
39:48But could you live with that if I did?
39:54If you still want to talk, meet me tomorrow afternoon at the stage door after the matinee.
40:02I'll understand if you never want to see me again.
40:05I hope you do.
40:09I love you, Carol.
41:01I'm so sorry.
41:04I I love you, Carol.
41:38Okay, Philly, so you asked me to record this piece of music for you.
41:46Careful what you wish for.
41:50Let's see her.
42:02Let's see her.
42:40Let's see her.
43:08Let's see her.
43:33Let's see her.
44:03Let's see her.
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