- 10 minutes ago
First broadcast 8th April 2000.
Ex-government employee and whistle blower Douglas Milton plans to reveal matters of international security at a forthcoming world conference.
Bob Mortimer - Jeff Randall
Vic Reeves - Marty Hopkirk
Tom Baker - Professor Wyvern
Emilia Fox - Jeannie Hurst
Paul Rhys - Douglas Milton
Arabella Weir - Judith Milton
Alexis Denisof - Richard Shelley
Simon Day - Swift
Tim Wallers - Lacey
Charlie Higson - Bulstrode
Simon Pegg - Justin Pope
Nabil Sawalha - Arab General
Angeline Ball - Annabell
Joanna Kanska - Magda
Guy Pratt - Browning
Rhys Thomas - First Hammer of God
Tony Way - Second Hammer of God
Freddie Stuart - Cab Driver
Anthony Psaila - First Arab
Fawaz Istwani - Second Arab
Daniel Wellon - Security Guard
Ex-government employee and whistle blower Douglas Milton plans to reveal matters of international security at a forthcoming world conference.
Bob Mortimer - Jeff Randall
Vic Reeves - Marty Hopkirk
Tom Baker - Professor Wyvern
Emilia Fox - Jeannie Hurst
Paul Rhys - Douglas Milton
Arabella Weir - Judith Milton
Alexis Denisof - Richard Shelley
Simon Day - Swift
Tim Wallers - Lacey
Charlie Higson - Bulstrode
Simon Pegg - Justin Pope
Nabil Sawalha - Arab General
Angeline Ball - Annabell
Joanna Kanska - Magda
Guy Pratt - Browning
Rhys Thomas - First Hammer of God
Tony Way - Second Hammer of God
Freddie Stuart - Cab Driver
Anthony Psaila - First Arab
Fawaz Istwani - Second Arab
Daniel Wellon - Security Guard
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:15A lot of you here in this room, you'll find it very hard to believe what I'm going to say
00:21here today.
00:22And a lot of people do not want me to say it.
00:25Because I'm going to shatter the cherished delusion of cosy little England.
00:31I'm going to demolish the pillars of society and blow apart some of the highest institutions in the land and
00:39expose the rotten core of the system.
00:43Now, we've all heard of the conspiracy theory freaks who would have us believe that President Kennedy was assassinated by
00:49aliens or whatever.
00:54But the fact of the matter is that I have uncovered a far-reaching conspiracy involving the British government, organized
01:03crime, and extreme political groups around Europe.
01:07Now, I'm due to publish the full details shortly.
01:12But when I tell you that I fear I may be prevented from doing so,
01:19that I fear for my own life,
01:24then you will understand why I wish to make these details available to you all here.
01:32Now, before it is too late.
01:36The British government...
01:46What's going on? Are you all right?
01:49It's that dream again.
01:51I'm at the conference, giving my speech, and there's this assassin, but nobody can see him.
01:57He's pointing...
01:57You're just being paranoid, Douglas.
01:59Come on.
02:01You're tied up in knots with this damn conference thing.
02:04Nobody wants to kill you, but go back to sleep.
02:08Killing this instrument of liberal state oppression will really put us on the map.
02:16It'll be our first major blow towards building a cleaner, safer society, a Christian society,
02:25a society in which people have the right to carry arms, in which they have the right to be right.
02:32We tend here today!
02:34Nine, actually, Justin.
02:35Trident couldn't make it.
02:38Well, that's just bloody typical, isn't it?
02:40You've read the files, Swift, so you'll know why, uh, Dr Smilton can't be allowed to make the speech.
02:46But we must also get hold of the book.
02:48He carries it with him at all times.
02:50He guards it with his life.
02:53Is that clear, Swift?
02:54Very clear, Mr Balstrode.
02:57You want me to go to the library, so to speak,
02:59and remove a book, and then you want me to go to the library of souls, so to speak,
03:04and to remove a soul, so to speak.
03:08Something like that.
03:09Yes, thank you.
03:11So to speak.
03:13Well, that went very well, Mr Lacey.
03:14Very well, Mr Balstrode.
03:18This is the last task in our case of freedom and justice.
03:22You will find Douglas Milton.
03:24From the case of our great state,
03:26and our great state,
03:26and our great state.
03:28From our great state,
03:30and our great state,
03:30and our great state.
03:31You will find him,
03:33and you will give us this truth.
03:36We live our great state.
03:38We live!
03:39We live! We live! We live!
03:44You know he's going to abandon me, Yoni, don't you?
03:48And go back to his stupid wife.
03:52No, don't be mean about him.
03:55I love him still.
03:58And I will kiss him,
03:59and kiss him,
04:01and kiss him,
04:03and then I will cut him.
04:07All to pieces.
04:20I love his work, don't you?
04:22Mmm.
04:24You know he killed his wife.
04:26Mmm.
04:27I know how he must have felt.
04:30This book of your husband's.
04:32Is it all he makes it out to be?
04:34He won't let anyone read it, not even me.
04:36But the publishers are fighting over it.
04:39He stands to make a fortune.
04:40That's nice for you.
04:42Yes.
04:42And the last thing I want
04:43is for any of it to go into
04:44a fat slut of a mistress of his.
04:48I think it'll be very much neater this way.
04:52Well, yes.
04:53Dead authors do sell rather well.
04:56Exactly.
04:57Author of conspiracy theory book
04:59dies in mysterious circumstances,
05:01book goes through the roof,
05:03wife gets all the profits.
05:04Yes.
05:07That would be very much neater.
05:13Oh, it's fantastic.
05:14It's a whole show in itself.
05:17First sign of madness.
05:18Talking to yourself.
05:20Like me.
05:24I mean, I couldn't do it.
05:27I could do this though, Marty.
05:29Which is incredibly similar.
05:31And probably slightly more entertaining.
05:36All right, all right.
05:39Lift that filing cabinet up then.
05:41Well, I can't, Marty.
05:42It's too heavy, isn't it?
05:44Right.
05:45Watch this then.
05:54That's fantastic, Marty.
05:55That really is something.
06:00Mr. Milton's here, Jeff.
06:02Thank you, Jeannie.
06:04Come in, Mr. Milton.
06:06Do have a seat.
06:06Did you see that?
06:07Yeah, you didn't lift the filing cabinet though, did you?
06:11I'm sorry.
06:13I'm just saying, Mr. Milton,
06:15I must move that filing cabinet over there one day.
06:17Right.
06:18Now, so I've been reading all about you in the papers.
06:23Then you'll know I'm not a very popular man.
06:26Yes.
06:27Well, no.
06:27I mean, not in certain circles, anyway.
06:31I understand you're making a speech at the Paranoia Conference.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Yeah, I'm supposed to be.
06:37But I'm scared that certain people might try to stop me.
06:40Yes.
06:41I can understand that.
06:42But I wanted to hire you to look after me and...
06:48Is there a funny smell in here?
06:50Yes.
06:51Stop that.
06:52It wasn't me.
06:53No, no, it was me.
06:54Well, it wasn't me.
06:55It's...
06:56It's this room.
06:58That's wonderful.
06:59It smells like something's dying.
07:03Yes, I think you're probably right.
07:05Look, there'll be security at this conference.
07:06Why do you need me?
07:07Yes, there'll be very heavy security, but I can't trust anyone, you see.
07:12Ah.
07:12And how do you know that you can trust me?
07:15Well...
07:16I...
07:17No, no, you're right.
07:18You're right.
07:19I'm sorry if you've wasted your time.
07:21Douglas, please, come back.
07:22I was only joking.
07:23Let's just talk about this, yeah?
07:24I was only joking.
07:25I'm not finding things very funny at the moment.
07:29Come on inside.
07:30No, no, no, no.
07:31No.
07:46No, no, no.
07:48No.
07:48No, no...
07:50No, no, no.
07:51You can't let me know what I'm going to do now.
07:54No, no.
07:55I didn't miss you.
07:57No, no.
07:58No, no.
07:59No, no.
08:01Mr. Milton, welcome to Cotsap. I'm Richard Shelley, head of security.
08:05Hello, this is Judith, my wife, and Jeff Randall, my secretary.
08:12Hello there, and this is Jeannie Hurst, who's my secretary.
08:18Miss Hurst?
08:21I don't have a secretary.
08:25There's a light buffet lunch laid on, and this afternoon you're free to use the hotel facility.
08:30There's golf, a tennis, a gym, archery.
08:34And tonight there's a big party so everyone can kind of get to know each other.
08:38And tomorrow the speeches begin.
08:40Please feel free to discuss any aspect of security with me at any time.
08:43But basically, Mr. Milton, you're in very safe hands.
08:47Right there. Can I take that for you?
08:49No, pilot. I'll be here.
08:53That's nice.
09:03That's lovely. So to speak.
09:15Um, darling, I'm just gonna have a look around. I'll see you up in the room later, okay?
09:30You mustn't fight it. There is nothing to fear.
09:34Your earthly tale is told, and your heavenly one begins.
09:40You must reach closure before you can find peace.
09:43Go towards the light.
09:46Your worldly affairs are settled.
09:48Now is your time to ascend to the realm of dreams.
09:53Yes.
09:56Yes.
09:59It's beautiful.
10:01It's beautiful.
10:03Now, let yourself go.
10:17Ah, Marty, Marty, come along in.
10:19I've just sent a restless spirit on her way.
10:22A troubled soul has found peace.
10:25I find it terribly moving when one of my charges steps into the light and is reborn.
10:31Never mind that. Watch this.
10:36Desist.
10:37You must take things more seriously, Mr. Hopkirk.
10:39Being dead is no laughing matter.
10:42Let's get down to your lessons.
10:43Let's work on your powers of levitation.
10:46All right, then.
10:52Oh, Marty, Marty.
10:54I know all this seems boring, but I can teach you great things.
10:58Great wonders.
11:02How rare the secrets you would know.
11:05The secret places you could go.
11:08The secret paths both high and low.
11:11The secret spells that you can sow.
11:15And I these secrets can bestow.
11:18They shall be given unto you.
11:21No.
11:25Concentrate your mind, Marty.
11:28And there is nothing you cannot do.
11:31Nothing.
11:36It's like my dream.
11:38This place.
11:40It's exactly like my dreams.
11:43They're going to come true.
11:45They're going to kill me.
11:47Douglas, you're perfectly safe here.
11:49The security's excellent.
11:50And you've got me as a last line of defense.
11:53Yes, okay.
11:55Good point.
11:57You look after the book, then.
11:58No. Please.
11:59No, Douglas, that's yours.
12:00That's your life's work.
12:01Okay, I'll take it.
12:04I'll take it, Gene.
12:06And remember, you must keep it with you at all times.
12:11Never, ever, let it out of your sight.
12:15Hm?
12:39Okay, remember, flame, stand, light, throw.
12:44Flame, stand, light, throw.
12:47This day will go down in history.
12:50We four will be remembered.
12:57Are you all right, Browning?
12:58I think I should be all right.
13:11This book's extraordinary, Jeannie.
13:13Just look how small the writing is.
13:15He's mad, you know.
13:16Old folk will never be able to read it.
13:19Mind you, we'll have to find somewhere to hide it, you know.
13:21Somewhere completely safe, Jeannie.
13:23I know.
13:24Yeah?
13:25We'll put it somewhere where no one will ever look.
13:27Right.
13:38This will not deter us.
13:41It'll spur us on.
13:45The battle has just commenced.
13:47We three shall be remembered.
13:54Sir, what other delights can we look forward to tomorrow at this godforsaken conference?
13:59By the usual roster of mediocrity.
14:02Drugs, crime, drive-by shootings and lone crazy gunmen.
14:06How all this was planned a long time ago by an elite group of super rich banking families
14:11who aim to control humanity through a one world government.
14:16Fascinating.
14:16Oh, look.
14:17Global 2000.
14:19How the United States government is going to recall all money
14:23and replace it with an identity chip which will be injected into the forehead.
14:28Eventually leaking lithium into the body causing great pain and boils.
14:32As predicted in the Book of Revelations.
14:34Apparently, yes.
14:36Ah, here's a good one.
14:37The population disaster.
14:39How almost every child you see in print has the word kill embedded across the forehead.
14:45This lecture clearly demonstrates how we're being conditioned to equate death with children
14:49and shows how the birth rate has gone from 3.9 children per female in the 50s to 1.2
14:56in the 90s.
14:57We are living in insane times, Mr Lacy.
15:01Thank God, Mr Balstrode.
15:02It distracts the proles from what we're really up to.
15:06Which brings us to our friend, Milton.
15:09Such a shame.
15:11Isn't it?
15:15Not my game, Golf. Not really.
15:18Me neither.
15:20I had to get out.
15:21Get some fresh air.
15:23So claustrophobic in there.
15:25I felt like everyone was watching me.
15:33So what happens if there's a power cut?
15:36If the computers detect even the tiniest fluctuation in current, a secondary system kicks in with its own power supply.
15:44I don't mean to sound arrogant, Miss Hurst. May I call you Jeannie?
15:48But our organisation has provided security for many major events and we haven't lost anyone yet.
15:54I wish I could say the same for our organisation.
15:59You see, I, erm, I used to work for the government.
16:05But after I found out certain things, well my conscience wouldn't let me stay.
16:12So after I left I began to compile this secret information.
16:18Four!
16:22Using the wrong club.
16:24Better go and get my ball, Douglas.
16:27Yeah.
16:33Glad to see you're hard at work.
16:35Yes, I'm being a bodyguard for Milton.
16:37A bodyguard? You?
16:39Yeah.
16:41You see, you weren't ready.
16:42You've got to be prepared at all times.
16:50You see, I could have had a poisoned toe.
16:53Do you think Kevin Cosnett would have left Whitney Houston all alone whilst he went off to look for his
16:57golf ball?
16:58I can't believe he's put his life in your hands.
17:01It's not just me, Jeannie's here as well, the two of us.
17:03Jeannie?
17:04She's, er, checking out security arrangements with this American fella.
17:08Very good-looking.
17:10Look, in charge of security.
17:13Oh, it's lovely.
17:15All alone.
17:17A sitting duck.
17:19A birdie, so to speak.
17:23A hole-in-one.
17:25A lame duck.
17:27Oh!
17:28Bloody hell.
17:29Where'd he come from?
17:47Damn.
17:49Shall we just start again, Douglas?
17:51Yes.
17:53Good idea.
18:01Well, that didn't go very well, did it, Mr. Lacey?
18:03Not really, no, Mr. Bolstrode.
18:06Are you sure our man Swift's up to the job?
18:09He's just a common criminal, after all.
18:12Well, we do have a contingency.
18:18I sometimes think the phrase, organised crime, is a contradiction in terms.
18:25Coming through!
18:27Are you staying for the whole conference, Jeannie?
18:29Well, that's up to Mr. Milton, really, but I guess he'll probably want to leave straight after his speech tomorrow.
18:35That's a shame.
18:37I suppose I'll see you tonight at the party, though.
18:39Milton's my priority, so I'll have to stay close to him.
18:42So will I.
18:43So we'll be close to each other all night?
18:46Close enough for a drink?
18:49Cocktails for two it is, then.
18:53Oh, my God! What's that smell?
18:56Maybe it's a gas attack.
19:02Cocktails for two, you handsome creep.
19:17Any luck with the archery?
19:19Missed, I'm afraid.
19:21I'll try again tonight.
19:23Don't forget, we have to secure the book.
19:25I get nothing without it.
19:27There's quite a few people who would like it to disappear.
19:30I'm not one of them.
19:31Don't worry.
19:33That little man, Randall, has it.
19:36I'll get it tonight, at the party.
20:06Weevern!
20:08Mr. Weevern!
20:12Weevern!
20:13Mr. Weevern!
20:18Dear, dear Marty, sorry that I was unable to be here, but this is a valuable lesson.
20:26Sooner or later, we are all alone, and it is then that we realize what a cold place the universe
20:33is.
20:35But hang on to your memories of what it was like to be alive, and don't begrudge the living what
20:41they still have and you have lost.
20:43Only fools will try to change the past, retell the tale from first to last.
20:49The future is approaching fast, the present is a time we must not wast.
20:55Wast? Wast? Wast? Waste!
21:00Wast? Wast? Wast?
21:21Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast?
21:57Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? Wast? At least it's not you.
22:18I'd forget, I'd go to take a step, and then I'd stumble.
22:22Listen, I don't mean to sound corny, but I know exactly how you feel.
22:27I lost someone, too, you see.
22:29Ah, there you are. Are you enjoying the party, then?
22:33Mr Randall, I don't mean to seem rude, but I'm discussing a rather delicate matter with your secretary.
22:38With who? Oh, right, with Jane.
22:41Right, I'm sorry.
22:46You're gonna have to live her own life, Jeff.
22:50I know it's painful, but you've got to accept that sooner or later she's gonna meet someone and...
22:56fall in love.
22:58Can we just leave it?
23:11We, er, jumped the gun a little bit this afternoon, didn't we, Swift?
23:15You can't get rid of it before you get the book.
23:18I see.
23:19You want the golden egg and the golden goose, so to speak.
23:23If you like, Swift, consider his goose cooked.
23:27And his books, so to speak.
23:29Yes, spare us the illusions, Swift. They don't quite work. You're not an educated man.
23:35Just get the book and kill him.
23:58I see.
24:00I see.
24:04I see.
24:05I see.
24:06It's not real life, is it?
24:08It's not real life, is it?
24:08You can do whatever you like, yeah? And no one will ever know.
24:12I mean, don't you find hotels so sexy?
24:19Yeah.
24:19No, I don't know really.
24:21I would have brought my boyfriend if he was more adventurous. How about you?
24:27a boyfriend?
24:27I don't have a boyfriend.
24:29Well, that's a good start. How about a girlfriend?
24:38No, no strings.
24:40What about the ropes?
24:44I beg your pardon?
24:47I could show you them, if you like.
24:49I bet you could.
24:51Look, can't you just relax? Why don't you have a glass of champagne?
24:54Don't be so ridiculous. It's probably poisoned.
24:57Oh, for God's sake.
24:58Well, these things happen.
25:00Very luck.
25:07Maybe I wasn't quick enough. Or maybe I just didn't have the guts.
25:11But she did what we were trained to do.
25:14Threw herself in front of the ambassador and took the bullet I should have taken.
25:20There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about her.
25:22I'm sorry.
25:26Anyway, since then I haven't really found anybody else.
25:29Left the bureau, set up my own agency and threw myself into work.
25:34But you know how these things go. You'll suddenly meet someone.
25:37Someone who understands.
25:41Maybe we should continue this summer more. Craig.
25:44Maybe.
25:45Well, there's a minibar in my bedroom.
25:48What number?
25:49The minibar. The model number.
25:52No, room number, yes.
25:55Two zero nine six.
25:58Five minutes.
26:05Right, breath freshener.
26:07Breath freshener, breath freshener.
26:09Where is it?
26:10There's gotta be some breath freshener here.
26:19Just come in.
26:24Nice.
26:27Hello.
26:34Orange blossom.
26:37Now, can I get you anything to drink? Magda, I've got spirits, I've got wine, I've got soft drinks.
26:42Something hard, I think.
26:44OK.
26:45OK.
26:53Aren't you neglecting your duties, Geoff?
26:57Can't you leave me alone for five minutes?
26:59I thought you were pleased to see me.
27:01Oh, I am, Magda, I am. It's just I need five minutes to go to the bathroom. Sorry.
27:16So, this is your idea of being a bodyguard, is it?
27:18Look, Marty.
27:19Jeannie's with Milton, Shelly's with Jeannie, and you're with Shelly.
27:23There's more security people down there than Volavons.
27:26You're taking a very cavalier attitude to all this.
27:28Look, if anything happens, Marty, you can just come up here and get me.
27:32But please, please, only if it's a real life or death situation, you know, bombs, guns, fire, meteorites,
27:40something like that.
27:40Look, if it's just someone tripping over a carpet or spilling the drink, don't bother, all right?
27:45Well, what about chapped lips?
27:48Look, Marty, I'm begging you.
27:51Well, look, nothing's gonna happen. Milton's perfectly safe.
28:02I'm sorry, lads, they won't let you in without a pass, I'm afraid.
28:11And she would go into his room, and he'd be very, very happy to see her.
28:16And he would smile and say nice things about her.
28:21And she would cut great holes in all his clothes, and then she would cut great holes in him.
28:29For she loves him dearly.
28:36It's all down to me now.
28:39But one man can change the world.
28:48I don't know why you won't take me seriously. These are genuine concerns.
28:53I might be personally violated at any moment. I can't trust anyone.
28:57Oh, not even your little secretary.
29:00What, Geoff Randall?
29:01No, the one you personally violated. Annabelle.
29:06Oh, for God's sake, Judith!
29:09You know that's over.
29:11Why do you have to keep bringing it up?
29:13Because it turns my stomach.
29:17I'm going up to the room.
29:21Oh!
29:23Oh!
29:24Oh!
29:27Oh!
29:34Ha-ha! You didn't expect that, did you?
29:40No.
29:41Not really.
29:43So to speak.
29:44Oh.
29:45No, no. Not on your back. Not on your back!
29:49Ugh.
30:01Sorry about that.
30:02That's okay, no.
30:03Where were we?
30:04Well, er, I was over there and you were...
30:08No, that's not quite right, you see. You were on the bed.
30:10And I was going to get...
30:11No!
30:12No, no, no.
30:35I'm sorry about this, but I'm afraid you are just another innocent victim in the eternal life.
30:41No more of this sexist.
30:44And you...
30:45Keep up with this.
31:00Every year.
31:01Oh, that's...
31:03It's nothing. That's just a...
31:05picture of me secretary.
31:08It's very hot in here, isn't it?
31:09I feel quite dizzy.
31:12All the blood seems to have rushed to my head.
31:17Yes, I know I shouldn't really be killing people.
31:21But I did love Douglas.
31:37I will be remembered.
31:39I'll just, er, open the window, then.
31:41And I'm not as young as I was.
31:43And it's not as if men just fall out of the sky, is it?
32:06No, I don't think you'd be needing to put that.
32:15No, but I'm reading for you.
32:17you tonight. No, I really need to look after that.
32:43I really should be doing the rounds.
32:45I know.
32:47Listen, thanks. I've really...
32:49Well, you know, it's been, um, talking like this.
32:52I've been, I mean, talking about, um, you know, all the...
32:57Well, when and if...
33:00Well, just being able to, you know, I mean, I don't usually, you know...
33:04Just being able to...
33:08I guess what I'm trying to say is
33:10thanks for letting me articulate all this.
33:15I've been there myself, Jeannie.
33:18You can talk to me anytime.
33:24Maybe when this conference is over and we both have a little more space, we could...
33:30I don't know, meet up and...
33:33When do you get off tonight?
33:35Whoa, there.
33:37Whoa, there yourself.
33:38I only meant to talk some more.
33:40I wasn't about to give you my room number or anything.
33:432100.
33:45I'm head of security.
33:45I have to know who's in every room.
33:47Um, I know that you and Jeff are on either side of Milton.
33:51And...
33:51Jesus, Milton.
33:54Where is he?
33:57Where's Douglas?
33:59He left.
33:59He went upstairs.
34:01You look down here.
34:02I'll check his room.
34:05Douglas?
34:13Douglas?
34:14Hi.
34:17I just wanted to be alone for a bit.
34:23Come on.
34:25You stick with me.
34:26Let's get back to the party.
34:30Comfortable?
34:31Hmm.
34:32I'll be right back.
34:49I'll take that, I think.
34:51You.
34:53Come with me.
34:58You see, I'm not cut out for this kind of pressure.
35:02I'd like a quiet life.
35:06I think I should give it all up.
35:08Forget about the book and just get on with my life.
35:11But this is your life.
35:12You've uncovered something important and you have to tell the world about it.
35:16As long as I'm around, nothing's going to stop you.
35:19Douglas Milton?
35:19Yes.
35:22Yes.
35:22Yes.
35:22Okay, fellas.
35:23Let's see your laminates.
35:24Laminates?
35:25Laminates.
35:26Your passes.
35:27Security clearance.
35:28Clearance?
35:29Clearance.
35:30Come along, guys.
35:31This way.
35:32Walk this way.
35:32Walk this way.
35:34I think they wanted to kill me.
35:43Hey, fellas, you've forgotten your bomb.
35:46Bomb, it's a bomb!
35:48It's a bomb!
35:49Jeannie, it's a bomb!
35:52Jeff, where's Jeff?
35:57Magda?
35:59Magda?
36:01Magda, I'm getting a bit cold now, love.
36:04Magda?
36:06Jeff!
36:08Oh, dear me.
36:10Three Arab terrorists are planting a bomb downstairs in Europe here playing saucy hostages.
36:13A bomb?
36:14Well, untie me then, Marty.
36:15I can't.
36:16Can I?
36:16I'm a flaming ghost.
36:17Then you've got to warn them, Marty.
36:19How?
36:19Nobody else can see me.
36:20You've got to clear that room somehow, Marty.
36:26Brian, what the fuck?
36:42gibt es, an unemployed ghost.
36:47Godfiel, 윤.
36:47How is that?
36:49Oh, boy.
36:49Oh, my God.
36:52Oh, God.
36:52Oh, God.
37:19There's been an incident, it's alright, you're not in any immediate
37:22danger, but I'd feel happier if you're in your room under guard.
37:25Now, wait a minute, I'm not in immediate danger.
37:27What are you saying, I'll be in danger when?
37:29In an hour?
37:30In a day?
37:31I don't like any kind of danger, no matter how far off.
37:48Oh, no.
37:51You know what I think has happened?
37:54She was waiting in here to kill you, only she didn't reckon with me.
38:03Unfortunately, I'll never forgive myself, but I was just too late.
38:08Damn, that's a tough break.
38:12She shot you.
38:15But thank God, I got her.
38:20And this, which being a dutiful citizen that I am, I intend to hand over to your government,
38:28unless, of course, I can get a better price for it elsewhere.
38:36You know, in some ways, this is a relief.
38:41Mr. Milton?
38:42Douglas?
38:45Oh, Jeannie.
38:47Oh, I can't find Douglas anywhere.
38:49It's okay, he's safe.
38:51He's in here.
38:51Oh, good.
38:52Why don't you come in?
38:53Oh, please.
38:55Don't go in, Jeannie.
38:56He's only after one thing.
38:56Well, I think I'd better go and find Jeff.
38:59I haven't seen him for ages.
39:01It's okay.
39:02He's in here, too.
39:03He's not?
39:06Bloody hell.
39:09Jeannie, don't go in there!
39:10Right.
39:13Jeff?
39:15Jesus.
39:17I'm sorry, Jeannie.
39:18I didn't want you to be involved.
39:21Oh, my God.
39:25What a bloodbath.
39:27Jeannie's next door with Shelly!
39:29Look, Marty, you really are going to have to let her go.
39:31No, you dozy S&M fool.
39:33He's an assassin.
39:34He's going to kill Milton and her.
39:35Well, get back in there and do something.
39:37Levitate something at him, Marty.
39:38Right.
39:39Okay.
39:40Like what?
39:42I don't know, Marty, but something big.
39:45It's very...
39:46That'll do, yeah.
39:46Right.
39:50You bastard.
39:52You only came on to me so that you could get close to Milton.
39:54No.
39:56The irony is I am actually attracted to you.
39:59I think you're a wonderful person.
40:06Jeannie, don't make this difficult.
40:08Jeannie, I don't want to have to hurt you.
40:10I really don't want to have to hurt you.
40:15Okay.
40:17Now.
40:18Now I'm going to hurt you.
40:22Put that down.
40:25I'm sorry.
40:47I'm sorry.
40:48Okay.
40:50Let's start again.
40:52Something big, something big.
40:54Believe me.
40:55I know it sounds like a cliche, but I am sorry I had to end like this.
40:59You really are great, aren't you?
41:02I suppose you made up that story about your wife dying so that I'd feel sorry for you.
41:05No.
41:07No.
41:08She really did die protecting the ambassador.
41:13All right.
41:14I changed a couple of details.
41:16Like, I was the assassin, and I don't really miss her.
41:19But otherwise, it was a perfectly true story.
41:21Concentrate your mind, Marty, and there is nothing you cannot do.
41:27Well, I must be going.
41:30Say bye-bye.
41:32Bye-bye.
41:35Bye-bye.
41:44Jeff?
41:45Jeannie, hi.
41:48Is anyone any good with knots?
42:04Thanks for that.
42:05Well, you have a rather unorthodox style, but you saved my life.
42:10It's no worries, Douglas.
42:11It's my job.
42:12I still don't understand how you managed to get that bed through the wall.
42:16It's a very complicated move.
42:17It's called a contrived muscular spasm.
42:20I do a lot of yoga.
42:22Yoga.
42:24Right.
42:27Yoga.
42:29You.
42:31You know, maybe Milton was right to be so paranoid.
42:34It seems like half the world was up here tonight.
42:36I'm trying to get to him.
42:38Yeah, not to mention the bomb downstairs.
42:40The bomb.
42:40The bomb!
43:12Come on, Jeff.
43:13Hurry up.
43:14It's in a silver metal box.
43:15It's in a silver metal box.
43:18Come on, Jeff.
43:19Come on, Jeff.
43:22Don't open it!
43:26This Medal of Peace is awarded to Douglas Milton for his tireless struggle against...
43:36oppression and his fight for freedom, freedom of opinion, freedom of speech, and the right to be heard.
43:48So did you?
43:49Then what?
43:51You know, the young, did you?
43:56Did you?
43:58Could have.
44:00So did you then?
44:02No.
44:09Did you want to?
44:13Mr. Douglas Milton.
44:16Did you?
44:18No.
44:23A lot of you here in this room will find it very hard to believe what I'm going to say
44:28here today.
44:30And as events have proved, a lot of people do not want me to say it.
44:35Are you all right, Judith?
44:37Yes, yes, I'm fine.
44:38But I have uncovered a far-reaching conspiracy.
44:40I never expected Douglas to actually deliver his speech.
44:43It was a close-run thing, but I guess it's all over now.
44:47Once Douglas makes his revelations, then there'll be no point in anyone trying to bump him off anymore.
44:53No.
44:55So I guess it's really going to be in the news.
44:58His book will sell millions.
44:59I don't understand why I wish to make these...
45:01Yes, I suppose it will.
45:02I suppose you're going to be rather wealthy.
45:05Now...
45:05Yes, I suppose I am.
45:07Before it is too late.
45:12These are the main details.
45:16The British government have known for some time now
45:19that a criminal organisation known as the Mafia or Cosa Nostra
45:24is in control of large parts of Sicily
45:27and is involved with the drugs trade and other illegal activities in America.
45:33Furthermore, I have details of government ministers,
45:38particularly in the last administration,
45:41who took money from people
45:43in exchange for asking questions in Parliament.
45:48I have evidence that some members of Parliament might possibly be homosexual.
45:58Extreme right-wing and nationalist groups are on the increase,
46:02both in Europe and in America,
46:04and the American president
46:06has possibly had an affair with someone.
46:10Actually, within the White House itself.
46:15And...
46:16No, no, no, no.
46:16This seems to be going rather well, Mr Lacey.
46:19Yes, Mr Bolstrode.
46:21Bit of fuss over nothing.
46:24Small shame that a lot of people got killed for no reason at all.
46:27Well, that's politics for you.
46:31Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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