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00:00:18Four matching pairs, blue and green wash basins for Carters, Aberdeen.
00:00:22Check.
00:00:23Two princess suites, complete with stainless steel fittings for Girlings, London.
00:00:27Check.
00:00:28Six white, top-flushing urinals.
00:00:30Stand-up ones.
00:00:32Is there any other sort?
00:00:33I only ask.
00:00:35Funny things happen these days.
00:00:37Six white, top-flushing urinals, regular design, but a YWCA wigging, one matching pair...
00:00:43A YWCA?
00:00:45Hey, you're right.
00:00:47Funny things do happen these days.
00:00:59Well, Miss Withering, how does it feel?
00:01:00Comfortable?
00:01:01Yes, I think so, Mr. Boggs.
00:01:04Good, good.
00:01:04Comfort before beauty.
00:01:06That's what I always say.
00:01:07A bit big in the bowl, I think.
00:01:08It is only two centimetres more than our last model, and I'm sure we shan't fall out over
00:01:13that.
00:01:13It's falling in, I'm worried about.
00:01:16No, no, I like your overall design, Mr. Coote.
00:01:19Oh, thank you, sir.
00:01:21Ma, get off now, please.
00:01:23Yes, of course, Miss Withering.
00:01:25In fact, you'll be most patient.
00:01:27Yes, like Job on a monument.
00:01:28Oh, what a monument.
00:01:29We must make sure the cat is strong enough to support the seat.
00:01:33Do you mind if I try it?
00:01:34No, go ahead.
00:01:35Yes, do.
00:01:49Yes, I don't think I could stand it for more than half an hour.
00:01:51It was hardly designed for a reading room.
00:01:55Look, look, look at this.
00:01:57Very slim, this pedestal, isn't it?
00:01:59It's streamlined.
00:02:00What for?
00:02:01Wind resistance?
00:02:03In any case, the thickness has nothing whatsoever to do with the tensile strength.
00:02:07I hope you're right, Mr. Coote.
00:02:09I have had bitter experience of what happens when one of these collapses, or rather, my poor
00:02:13dear wife had.
00:02:14Rest her soul.
00:02:15I can assure you, sir, an elephant could safely use that toilet.
00:02:20Not without a much bigger bowl.
00:02:23We can't afford to take any chances, Mr. Coote.
00:02:26No dependability before beauty, I always say.
00:02:29Miss Withering, if you wouldn't mind, just one more time.
00:02:32And this time, my dear, come down on it like a ton of bricks.
00:02:37So far, so good.
00:02:38Now, if you'll just bump up and down a bit.
00:02:41Excellent.
00:02:42Excellent.
00:02:43Bump.
00:02:44Bump.
00:02:45Things that go pfft in the night.
00:02:47Ha, ha, ha.
00:02:50Yeah?
00:02:51One matching pair of what?
00:02:52Mutes.
00:02:53One matching pair of...
00:02:55Hey?
00:02:56Hello, Myrtle.
00:02:57Oh, hello, Vic.
00:02:59How about it this afternoon, isn't it?
00:03:01Not standing up.
00:03:03No, sitting down.
00:03:04I've got these grandstand tickets, you see.
00:03:06They kick off at three o'clock.
00:03:07It should be a smashing match.
00:03:09Three o'clock?
00:03:10Oh, how can we?
00:03:11We'll be working till 5.30.
00:03:13I wouldn't bet on that if I were you, love.
00:03:14And I'll take you out for a bit of supper after an hour.
00:03:16Ooh.
00:03:18Hello, Myrtle.
00:03:19Got a cup of tea for me, then?
00:03:20Sorry, Bernie.
00:03:21No more floor service, I'm afraid.
00:03:23Eh?
00:03:23What do you mean, no more floor service?
00:03:25New rule.
00:03:26Drinks only to be served in the canteen during official breaks.
00:03:29Well, that's what I call taking a diabolical liberty.
00:03:32And that's something you know all about.
00:03:35Hey, hey.
00:03:35Ha, ha, ha.
00:03:36Do you mind?
00:03:36Do you mind?
00:03:37Don't you worry, I'm not going to let them get away with this.
00:03:39Ah, that's all right, Vic.
00:03:41I didn't really want a cup, anyway.
00:03:42Whether you want one or not is beside a point that is completely irreverent.
00:03:45This constitutes a direct infringement of the workers' rights.
00:03:48Uh-oh.
00:03:49Old tinderbottom's off again.
00:03:51Another blooming strike, I suppose.
00:03:52Oh, no.
00:03:54What's it for?
00:03:55You know how, Vic.
00:03:56He never has known what it's for.
00:03:58Oh.
00:03:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:04:06Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Boggs.
00:04:08Quite all right, Miss Plummer.
00:04:09I should have solid my hooter.
00:04:12There he is.
00:04:13Old silver spoon.
00:04:14Had it again.
00:04:15Oh, give over, Vic.
00:04:16He can't help being a bossy son.
00:04:18Privilege class sitting on his.
00:04:19That's what he is.
00:04:21Privilege class?
00:04:21Do you know what the girls call him? Pencil doings. That's how privileged he is.
00:04:32Morning, Art. Morning, Mr. Boggs.
00:04:38Hi there. I'd like to see you for a few moments, please, Mr. Lewis.
00:04:41All right, but make it quick, William Spanner. I'm already late for a meeting.
00:04:44It has come to my notice that a new rule has been introduced without consultation with me as a shop
00:04:49steward
00:04:49or with the works committee to the effect that tea may no longer be served outside the campaign.
00:04:53That's right. I made it.
00:04:54Oh. Well, then, as the union's appointed representative, I wish to lodge the strongest protest.
00:04:59It is a direct infringement of the workers' rights.
00:05:01Oh, come off it, Spanner. I can show you right here.
00:05:04Well, what's that? This is the Nookie rulebook.
00:05:06Oh, I say. They're making rules about that now, are they?
00:05:12N-U-C-I-E. Nookie, Mr. Lewis. The National Union of Chinaware Industrial Employees.
00:05:17Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:05:19Well, you know what you can do with their rulebook.
00:05:21What's that?
00:05:22Let me give you a clue.
00:05:25These pages are just about the same size as our toilet paper holders.
00:05:28Know how to get the idea?
00:05:31Great big steaming public school, innit?
00:05:34All right, everyone. You all heard it.
00:05:37Direct aggravation of a genuine grievance. Stop work.
00:05:39Everybody out!
00:05:40Oh, you are. What did I tell you?
00:05:43Meeting in the canteen in ten minutes. Tell everyone, Bernie.
00:05:46Right.
00:05:47Meeting in the canteen in... Where was it?
00:05:49Ten minutes.
00:05:50Meeting in ten minutes' time in... Where was it?
00:05:52In the canteen.
00:05:53Meeting in ten minutes' time...
00:05:54All righty, no!
00:06:03Oh, excuse me.
00:06:04Lewis, my boy. It's all right.
00:06:06We're just discussing the new Princess Beatrice suite. Come on here.
00:06:09Oh, I see.
00:06:10There we are.
00:06:11No, no, no. Please don't get up, Miss Whithering.
00:06:12But I want to get up, Mr. Lewis.
00:06:16Well, what do you think of it, my boy? Rather elegant, wouldn't you say?
00:06:20Yes, but, Dad, I thought we were going to modernize our stuff. And I thought we were going to include
00:06:24a bidet in our new range.
00:06:26Oh, yes. I designed one. But Mr. Boggs sat on it.
00:06:29Oh.
00:06:29On the idea, I mean.
00:06:31I do not think bidets are quite us.
00:06:34But, Dad, all our competitors are making them now.
00:06:36Now, dear sir, but I didn't think that the high cost of production, coupled with the limited demand...
00:06:41Limited demand? But I told you about that inquiry from abroad for a thousand of the Danvers.
00:06:45I know I know, my boy, but I don't think that my dear grandfather would have approved of the name
00:06:51Boggs being associated with such an article.
00:06:56Oh, Mr. Plummer, can't you persuade him?
00:06:58Well, quite frankly, Mr. Lewis, I don't see the use of him. It's easy enough to wash your feet in
00:07:01the bath, innit?
00:07:02Bidets are not for washing your feet in, Mr. Plummer.
00:07:04What else, then? Are they for dogs to drink out of?
00:07:07No.
00:07:10Anyway, well, if it's for that, then, you can always stand on your head under the shower.
00:07:14Lewis, Lewis, my boy.
00:07:16Shh! Can you hear anything?
00:07:19No.
00:07:20Neither can I.
00:07:21Well, that's all right, then.
00:07:23No, it's not all right. They've stopped work.
00:07:31I'll tell you, brothers, it is time we made a stand.
00:07:35It is time the bosses learnt that they can't mess the working about.
00:07:40What do you say?
00:07:41Down with them!
00:07:42That's right. Down with them.
00:07:44It is up to us to show the bloated bureaucrats that they can't grind our faces in the dust.
00:07:50What do you say?
00:07:51Down with them!
00:07:52That's right.
00:07:53You see, brothers, this issue isn't just over when or when not you can have a cuppa.
00:07:58Oh, no.
00:07:58Now, this ruling is another blow aimed at the fundamental rights of the worker.
00:08:04Here, here.
00:08:05It's another little prod at the very vitals of your personal freedom.
00:08:09I haven't noticed anyone prodding at my vitals.
00:08:13Good for you, Chloe.
00:08:15Ready for you any time, Chloe.
00:08:17Yes, all right, then.
00:08:19Yes, all right, then.
00:08:20Quiet, please.
00:08:20Thank you, Mrs Moore.
00:08:21But I seem to remember that you got very upset when they banned you women from wearing trousers.
00:08:28What do you say to that?
00:08:29Down with them!
00:08:31Thank you, Bernie!
00:08:33I didn't mean down with the trousers.
00:08:36Anyway, brothers, I am now calling for an immediate stoppage of work, pending reinstatement of the tea rounds.
00:08:43Now, then.
00:08:43All those in favour, raise your right hands.
00:08:46Down on, Bernie.
00:08:51Are you in favour?
00:08:53Of course I am, you fool.
00:08:55Oh, well, er...
00:08:56Well, that makes two.
00:08:58Well, that's that.
00:09:00Mind if we get back to work, then?
00:09:01Er, no.
00:09:02Would you, er, wait just one more minute, please?
00:09:04Er, I would like to make one last appeal to, er, your reason and common sense.
00:09:08I'll call for one more vote.
00:09:10And in doing so, I would like you all to bear in mind the fact that the Rovers are playing
00:09:15at home this afternoon,
00:09:16and the kick-off's at three o'clock.
00:09:18Right.
00:09:19All those in favour?
00:09:23Count them, Bernie.
00:09:30Oh, well, well, well.
00:09:34Never saw so many people all wanting to leave the room at the same time.
00:09:39I, er, have to inform you, Mr. Plummer, it has just been decided by a majority vote that unless the
00:09:44tea rounds are brought back, there will be an immediate walk-out.
00:09:47Oh, yes.
00:09:48We're playing at home this afternoon, aren't we?
00:09:52You're not gonna let them get away with this, are you?
00:09:54Leave it to me, Mr. Lewis.
00:09:55Now, look, Spanner, let's be sensible about this.
00:09:58You know very well that our extra tea rounds with something laid on by the management is a privilege.
00:10:03So doing away with them hardly breaks any of your union rules.
00:10:06Ah, that's just where you're wrong, and I quote section M, page 154, paragraph 79, B, treatment of the workers.
00:10:16Appropriate action may be taken if at any time the management fails to provide adequate facilities for catering to the
00:10:21workers' natural needs.
00:10:23Natural needs?
00:10:24Drinking is a natural need, is it not?
00:10:26So's sex, but that doesn't mean I have to lay on crumpet.
00:10:33Very funny, Mr. Plummer, very funny.
00:10:35What we want to know is, are you prepared to reinstate the tea rounds?
00:10:38Now, you know very well I can't do that.
00:10:40But as works foreman, I'll see to it that your complaint is passed on to the management in due course.
00:10:44All right?
00:10:45No, I'm afraid not.
00:10:46We need a more positive guarantee then, eh?
00:10:48Why don't we have a little talk about it?
00:10:49No, I'm damned if we will.
00:10:51Mr. Lewis, please.
00:10:52No, now listen to me, all of you.
00:10:54Oh, blimey.
00:10:55Now, you may not understand exactly what it means, but since I've been working in this factory,
00:10:59I have made a time and motion study.
00:11:01Oh, I know what it means, Mr. Lewis.
00:11:03And if you've got the time, I've certainly got the motion.
00:11:08And don't think I hadn't noticed it, Mrs. Moore.
00:11:10Especially in your main production department.
00:11:13Oh, you cheeky devil!
00:11:17Anyhow, I'd like to try and show you how it works.
00:11:19She knows how it works, I promise you.
00:11:23Mr. Lewis, we are evading the issue.
00:11:26Are we, or are we not, going to get what we want?
00:11:29Except there, Mrs. Moore.
00:11:33I mean, on the factory floor!
00:11:35Not ruddy lively!
00:11:42All right, that's enough fun.
00:11:43Now let's get down to business.
00:11:45Shell's just like mine all mad!
00:11:49All right, all right.
00:11:50All right, all right.
00:11:50In this factory, 166 extra mugs of tea are served in the average week.
00:11:56Now, on the basis that one worker has to make a trip to the toilet for every pint consumed,
00:12:01this means that he makes 16 trips in one day.
00:12:05Ah, poor devil. He must have a weakness.
00:12:08No, not quite, Mr. Hark.
00:12:09It means, in fact, that allowing for an average time of four and a half minutes for each trip to
00:12:13the toilet,
00:12:1472 minutes are lost in each day,
00:12:17which equals 15 hours lost going to the toilet in one week.
00:12:21You see?
00:12:22So, what is the answer?
00:12:24Tie a knot in it.
00:12:29Quite.
00:12:30Right.
00:12:30But a less painful solution, in my opinion, was simply to cut out the extra tea rounds.
00:12:34So, doesn't that make sense?
00:12:36Just one moment, please, Mr. Lewis.
00:12:38Am I to understand, then, that the management want the workers to stop going to their shi-er, loo,
00:12:43when they want to?
00:12:44Well, no, I didn't say that exactly.
00:12:45You just want to cut down on the number of trips that they want to make?
00:12:49Well, yes, that's it. Exactly.
00:12:51I thought so.
00:12:52It is a clear case of restricted practice.
00:12:54Right into it.
00:12:55Everybody out!
00:13:05Fine mess I made of that.
00:13:07Well, it would have been simpler to have done what they wanted.
00:13:10I'm like you. I don't give in easily.
00:13:12Well, you'll have to if you want them back tomorrow.
00:13:14Yes, I know.
00:13:15Well, it gives us a free afternoon, anyway.
00:13:17Yeah. Us?
00:13:19Yes, we'll have a nice run out into the country, and then something to eat at a little pub, I
00:13:22know.
00:13:23Sorry, I'm busy.
00:13:24I'll pick you up outside the old unit at half past two.
00:13:26Lewis, it's no use.
00:13:28I'm trying not to be late. There's no waiting there.
00:13:34Ah, Spanner!
00:13:35Thanks a lot, old man. For a moment there, I thought we were going to have to work this afternoon.
00:13:39Eh?
00:13:39Dead worried I was.
00:13:41Ah, yes. But what about your loss of production?
00:13:43Well, who cares about that? Think of the wages we're saving.
00:13:49Well, what's that with him, then? He's gone potty.
00:13:51On the contrary. I think he's learning some sense at last.
00:13:55Saving on the wages? Saving on the wages? What's he on about?
00:14:00Anyway, are you all right for this afternoon, then?
00:14:02Oh, er, no, I don't think so. Thanks, Vic. I promised to help Mum with a few things.
00:14:06What, instead of the football?
00:14:08Yeah. Funny girl, aren't I?
00:14:11Oh, hey. She's gone potty and all.
00:14:15Saving on the wages.
00:14:24Excuse the rush, but I've got a lot to do. Bye!
00:14:29Lot to do.
00:14:31Wish I had a lot to do.
00:14:33Don't we all? Thanks for the lift, Sid.
00:14:35All right. See you down the pub tonight?
00:14:36I doubt it. The Lord and Master is home.
00:14:39Ah, then you'll have plenty to do.
00:14:41You must be joking. Fred is strictly a Saturday nighter.
00:14:45Oh, what a shocking waste.
00:14:47Oh, get you. You never stop, I suppose.
00:14:49Only to fill me pipe.
00:14:50Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:14:55That'll do, saucy.
00:14:58Oh, hello, Fred.
00:15:00Sid just gave me a lift home.
00:15:01Uh-uh. I hope that's all he gave you.
00:15:04Fred.
00:15:05I thought you were having a canteen lunch.
00:15:07I know, but that little twerp spanner organised another walkout.
00:15:10Another strike? How am I supposed to sell our products if you don't make them?
00:15:13I don't know what you're so surprised about. It's only the 13th this year.
00:15:16Cool. What's it all about this time?
00:15:18I suppose you could call it the take-in and put-out figures.
00:15:22Take-in and put-out figures?
00:15:24Technically known as the T and P figures.
00:15:27Sid!
00:15:29Well, I'm glad you both find it so very funny.
00:15:31Yeah.
00:15:32There's always trouble at the works.
00:15:33We seem to be having it once a week as regular as clockwork.
00:15:36I thought that's how you liked it.
00:15:38Uh, come on, Fred. I'll get you something to eat.
00:15:40I can do with a bit.
00:15:42Spoken like a true man.
00:15:44Oh.
00:15:58That's all I need. A face full of shuddy niggot.
00:16:07That's all I need. A face full of shuddy niggot.
00:16:15Did they say hello, Mummy?
00:16:17Hello, Mummy.
00:16:18Hello, Mummy.
00:16:20Go on, say it.
00:16:21Hello, Mummy.
00:16:22Look what Mummy's got for him.
00:16:26A nice little toy.
00:16:29A nice little toy for a clever little boy.
00:16:32Tell Mummy.
00:16:33Tell Mummy.
00:16:34Tell Mummy.
00:16:35Tell Mummy.
00:16:35Oh, Blimey.
00:16:36Can't you give that poor bleeding bird a rest?
00:16:38It's the only way you can get him to talk.
00:16:40Keep chatting to them.
00:16:41Chatting, yes.
00:16:41Not nagging him to death.
00:16:43We've had him nearly a year now.
00:16:45He really ought to say something.
00:16:47He would if he could get a word in edgewise.
00:16:50You've had me for 25 years and I still have trouble.
00:16:52If only he'd give a little chirp now and then.
00:16:54That'd be something.
00:16:56He really ought to make some sort of noise.
00:16:59How about some dinner?
00:17:00Oh, no.
00:17:01He's got plenty to eat.
00:17:03For me.
00:17:04Not for him.
00:17:06Haven't you had anything then?
00:17:07No.
00:17:08Didn't Myrtle tell you there's another strike on?
00:17:10I just rushed upstairs to wash her hair or something.
00:17:13I wondered what she was doing at lunchtime.
00:17:14Oh, now you know, don't you?
00:17:16Did you hear that, Joey?
00:17:17All those naughty men are on strike again.
00:17:20Yes.
00:17:21Naughty men.
00:17:23Naughty men.
00:17:24I've had something to eat.
00:17:25I've had something.
00:17:26For me, for Pete's sake.
00:17:29Oh.
00:17:30Well, could make you some beans on toast, I think.
00:17:34No, nothing elaborate, thank you.
00:17:37Mum is just going to get Daddy some din-dins.
00:17:40Will you be all right till I get back?
00:17:42Will you then?
00:17:43Of course he'll be all bloody right.
00:17:45What do you think he's going to do?
00:17:47Chuck himself into his drink?
00:17:48No, well, he doesn't like being left alone.
00:17:49It upsets him.
00:17:51And when he gets upset, Daddy's his cage.
00:18:00She spoils you to budgery.
00:18:02You know that?
00:18:12What do you think your Daddy's got for you today, then?
00:18:16A honey ring?
00:18:17A honey ring?
00:18:18Yes.
00:18:20What you got to say to that, Lynn?
00:18:21Hey?
00:18:22Tar, Daddy?
00:18:24Tar, Daddy?
00:18:26Come on, mate.
00:18:27You can talk to me.
00:18:28Tar.
00:18:29Tar!
00:18:31My washing's all over the floor in debt.
00:18:34Here, what are you doing to him?
00:18:36Nothing.
00:18:36Oh, yes, you are.
00:18:38What's Nasty Daddy been doing to him, then?
00:18:41Nasty Daddy just bought him a honey ring, that's all.
00:18:44What are you going to do, report me to the RSPCA?
00:18:46Oh, did the nasty man buy him a horrid old honey ring, then?
00:18:51Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:18:52Well, how do you expect him to talk if you keep stuffing him up with food?
00:18:55One lousy honey ring's not going to stop him from talking.
00:18:58I mean, if I thought that, I'd have bought you a crate of him years ago.
00:19:01Oh, never mind.
00:19:03Mummy will take the nasty thing away, then.
00:19:05That cost me a pint of beer.
00:19:07Now, look what's happened.
00:19:09What?
00:19:10Well, he's done something.
00:19:12Here, hold this.
00:19:14Oh, never mind, Joey.
00:19:16Mummy will make it nice and clean again.
00:19:19Yes, he will.
00:19:20Little Joey must be full.
00:19:36He's after you, you know.
00:19:39Eh? Who?
00:19:41Sid Plummer.
00:19:42What?
00:19:43Oh, Fred, you must be joking.
00:19:45What do you mean, he's after me?
00:19:47I can tell.
00:19:49You can't be a commercial traveller without knowing when a bloke's on the make.
00:19:52I should know.
00:19:54I mean, I've seen the others at it.
00:19:56Just because he gives me a lift home?
00:19:58It's the way he looks at you.
00:20:01Not that I can blame him.
00:20:02You ask for it, flashing your legs and things all over the place.
00:20:07What?
00:20:08Well, I mean, look at him.
00:20:09Like two board-headed convicts trying to burst out of jail.
00:20:13Afraid you're jealous?
00:20:14Me?
00:20:16I wouldn't be seen dead with a couple of things like that.
00:20:18I mean of Sid.
00:20:20Don't you realise he's at a dangerous age?
00:20:22At that age, a bloke will try almost anything.
00:20:24Oh, well, thank you very much.
00:20:27I didn't mean that, but I get very worried about you, me being away so much.
00:20:32Fred, do you really think I'd want to play around with anyone else
00:20:37when I've got a smashing bloke like you to play around with?
00:20:41I know women.
00:20:42When there's no prime beef and they'll make do with any scrag end.
00:20:47Well, then you want to make sure that there is plenty of prime beef when they need it, don't you?
00:20:53Yeah, steady on. I've just pressed these trousers.
00:20:56Well, take them off. Why don't you?
00:20:57Well, in the middle of the day.
00:20:58I've got the rest of the day off.
00:21:00Well, don't you realise there's a time and a place for everything?
00:21:03Well, if you've got the time, I've got the place.
00:21:07Well, if we'll take...
00:21:17Hey, Tony! You wanna come in again with me?
00:21:20Hey! You want to come out, Mrs. Banner? Are you all right then?
00:21:23Come out bloody well! Shut up!
00:21:26What did she say?
00:21:28Oh, turn it off! Hey! Turn it off!
00:21:31Just a minute, I'm turning this off.
00:21:33What did you say? I said, turn... turn that thing off.
00:21:36It is off. Oh, no, it is.
00:21:37Look, Bernie, do you want a stand ticket for the game?
00:21:40Yes, please.
00:21:41All right, then pick me up at our boss too.
00:21:42Right. And Vic, I just wanna say that I think you handled the men marvellous this morning.
00:21:47Oh, yes, well, uh...
00:21:49It's just a natural gift, that, you know, Bernie?
00:21:51I mean, some men are born with the quality of the leadership.
00:21:53And I don't agree with what most of the blokes are saying.
00:21:56What's that, then?
00:21:57That you're a miserable little leader.
00:21:58I mean, size has got nothing to do with it, has it?
00:22:01I think you'd better get going, don't you?
00:22:03And don't you worry, Vic!
00:22:06They'll laugh the other side of their faces!
00:22:09When you're Prime Minister...
00:22:12Look for nothing, little sod.
00:22:14Just like his bloody old father, may he rest in pieces.
00:22:18Well, well, well.
00:22:19If it isn't my dear sweet Al, Mum.
00:22:21Don't you come slobbering over me, I'm busy just now, and I'll tell you another thing.
00:22:24You can tell that bloody great half-witted giant,
00:22:26if he brings that motorbike round here again, I'm gonna kick him where it hurts.
00:22:31Mum, please.
00:22:31This is a respectable and refined neighbourhood.
00:22:33And don't you bloody well forget it!
00:22:36How can I?
00:22:37When you keep reminding me of it so nicely.
00:22:39Oh, shut up and sit down, or you'll be late for your work.
00:22:42Oh, er...
00:22:43We, er...
00:22:45We don't have to go back this afternoon, Mum.
00:22:47Eh?
00:22:48You've started another bloody strike, haven't you?
00:22:50Haven't you?
00:22:52You have, haven't you?
00:22:53The men had a grievance.
00:22:54Oh, yes.
00:22:55And as I appointed round the tentative, I could not stand by and watch them being ground underfoot.
00:22:58Crap!
00:22:59Mum, please.
00:23:00I am working there for the good of the workers.
00:23:03You never did a damn day's work in your life.
00:23:05You're like your bloody old father.
00:23:06My father was a victim of the capitalist ridden society.
00:23:11And if I hadn't taken in lodges, where do you think we'd be now?
00:23:14Oh, I pay my way, don't I?
00:23:15Oh, yes.
00:23:16I forgot about that.
00:23:17Yes.
00:23:18I've been wondering what I'd do with your four pounds this week.
00:23:21Take myself to the Harmer's, perhaps.
00:23:23If me and my money aren't welcome here.
00:23:25Oh, sit down on your backside and shut up.
00:23:28If you spend more time sitting on it and less time talking through it, we might get somewhere.
00:23:33Now, we've got to feed the poor bloody hard-working strikers, haven't we?
00:23:38There you are.
00:23:39Cold sausages.
00:23:40What?
00:23:41You're spoiling me, aren't you?
00:23:43You've given it to me fifteen times in one week.
00:23:45Two weeks.
00:23:46I'm in the dining room, Mr. Coates.
00:23:49Oh, hello.
00:23:51There you are.
00:23:52Yes.
00:23:53Lunch is all ready.
00:23:54Unless, of course, you want to wash your hands first.
00:23:56Oh, I think I can wait until after.
00:23:58Thank you, Mrs. Panner.
00:23:59Good.
00:23:59You sit here, Mr. Coates.
00:24:01Oh, yes.
00:24:01And I should have cleaned the napkin in your ring for you.
00:24:04Oh, you're much too good to be Mrs. Panner.
00:24:06Not at all.
00:24:07I'm only too glad to have a real gentleman in the house for a change.
00:24:11Ever since my poor dear husband passed on, I've missed it, you know.
00:24:15I'm sure you have.
00:24:18How's Victor?
00:24:21All right.
00:24:22I've got your favourite today.
00:24:23You haven't.
00:24:24I have.
00:24:25Nice hot steak and kidney pay.
00:24:27Oh, dear, Mrs. Panner.
00:24:29You spoil what you do.
00:24:30Not at all.
00:24:31Oh, you really do.
00:24:33A nice clean boy again, then?
00:24:35What's he gonna say?
00:24:36Tell mummy.
00:24:37Tell mummy.
00:24:38Tell mummy.
00:24:39Talk about a non-stop performance.
00:24:42I thought he was gonna talk just now.
00:24:43His beak opened and closed.
00:24:45Now.
00:24:46Yes.
00:24:46Fancy that.
00:24:47A bird opening and closing its beak.
00:24:49We'll have to write to the newspapers about that.
00:24:51Well, it's a start.
00:24:53Generally just sits there doing nothing.
00:24:54He's a natural mimic.
00:24:55He's copying you.
00:24:57Say hello, mummy.
00:24:59Hello, mummy.
00:25:00Say hello, mummy.
00:25:01Hello.
00:25:01Come on.
00:25:01What's all this stuff still left on the table for?
00:25:04Are we having an exhibition?
00:25:05Do you want me to clear it, then?
00:25:06No, no, no.
00:25:07I can manage.
00:25:08Say hello, mummy.
00:25:10Hello.
00:25:11Come on.
00:25:13Hello, mummy.
00:25:17I don't understand it.
00:25:19Mrs. Phillipsburg talked in three months.
00:25:22Old sentences.
00:25:23There weren't very nice things it said.
00:25:25He had to cover it up when the vicar called.
00:25:27Still.
00:25:27Why don't you face it?
00:25:28He's a dead loss.
00:25:29We should get rid of him.
00:25:30Oh.
00:25:31It's company for me.
00:25:33That was the whole idea of it, wasn't it, Joey?
00:25:35You'd be company for me, wouldn't you?
00:25:37It's all right for you.
00:25:38You go to work and enjoy yourself.
00:25:40I'm here alone all day.
00:25:41You'll be alone all night if you don't shut up.
00:25:43Do you mind?
00:25:44I'm trying to work out my bets.
00:25:46I wonder if he wants a little mate.
00:25:51What would he want a little mate for?
00:25:53I'll give him something to do.
00:25:56What?
00:25:57Well, you know.
00:25:58No, I don't know.
00:25:59Birds and fishes have always been a mystery to me.
00:26:02What do they do?
00:26:03Well, don't be silly.
00:26:06They bill and coo.
00:26:08What with?
00:26:09Well, I don't have to go into details, do I?
00:26:14Blimey, males and females all look the same, don't they?
00:26:17I mean, we can tell what we got hold of,
00:26:19but how do you know can they tell?
00:26:20Well, we know Joey's a he-bird, don't we?
00:26:24Cock.
00:26:25He is.
00:26:26The man in the shop said so.
00:26:28Cock bird, not e-bird.
00:26:30Oh, well, it's all the same thing.
00:26:31You wouldn't call yourself a cock man, would you?
00:26:35Opportunity would be a fine thing.
00:26:45Oh, well, I'm not.
00:26:46Don't go back and get that big out of here.
00:26:48Not so much noise.
00:26:50Not so much noise.
00:26:52I'm not.
00:26:52Come on, you great goldman.
00:26:55Come on, you guys.
00:26:56Come on, you great goldman.
00:26:57Why right, Mrs. Spatter?
00:26:58It's a disgrace, he is.
00:26:59You mind your own bloody business.
00:27:04oh i'm sorry i didn't realize you were here mr coote oh that's all right agatha has victor
00:27:12gone yes charles we're all alone now good how about it then oh i don't know i really ought to
00:27:20do the dishes first oh they can wait just a quick one i do find it very hard to say
00:27:26no to you you
00:27:27don't know you like it just as much as i do very well i'll draw the curtains
00:27:39all right yes cut for deal
00:27:56what's the matter did you lose something oh down there stay there
00:28:10oh so that's your game is it bernie follow that car what car that car the one with myrtle in
00:28:16it
00:28:16oh come on get going what do you mean me wasting time well you never win anything on the horses
00:28:38do you
00:28:39how ignorant can you get i've told you i work it out scientifically i study form why don't you win
00:28:46sometimes can i help it if they don't run scientifically well it doesn't seem right
00:28:50to me throwing that money away each day and us going without don't notice you going without
00:28:55anything i wouldn't mind if you just pick a winner every now and then you reckon you could do better
00:29:01then i couldn't do much worse could i all right let's see i'll read out the runners in the new
00:29:07market
00:29:07three o'clock see if you can pick the winners right oh well that's silly because we won't know the
00:29:12winners till this evening will we no no no this is yesterday's racing oh here we go anthony watt
00:29:21joemon carbia cleopatra
00:29:27sid did you hear that yes his very first chirp how about that oh it must have been one of
00:29:35them words
00:29:36you read out what words one of them horses names oh cleopatra
00:29:41there yes oh does he love that word then cleopatra cleopatra cleopatra all right all right don't tire him out
00:29:51oh is it exciting yeah why don't you let's face it it's time he did someone else apart from dropping
00:29:57good luck messages oh right now then where were we oh we don't have to go any further if that's
00:30:04the one
00:30:04joey like that's the one i'll pick cleopatra yes there's a tender one shot it had no chance i don't
00:30:10mind well what one by three lengths cleopatra there you are what i tell you you didn't pick it the
00:30:19blooming bird picked it well it won didn't it you're going potty or something just because he likes the
00:30:25sound of the word what does he know about horses well i don't know but he's done better in one
00:30:29race
00:30:29than you've done the old season but that's not the point is it you're the one who said you could
00:30:34pick
00:30:35them better than me so let's see you pick one i'll read you the 330 runners diddy ching fast day
00:30:43boy
00:30:44gold and gay tiny tim you keep out of this no where was that that'll do me tiny tim
00:30:51is this because he chirped again yes well who won this is ridiculous there's no reason to it oh we
00:30:59can't all pick sound typically can we well who won tiny tim four to one there you are you see
00:31:08now you're
00:31:09satisfied who's a clever boy then did he pick two winners from mummy then shut up shut up a minute
00:31:16i want to try another one well i don't feel like doing anymore not you him now listen mush i'm
00:31:23gonna
00:31:23read the runners of the four o'clock now concentrate you ready right the woozer x-ray double dwelling
00:31:33i'll see you two pairs oh dear you beat me again i knew this was going to be my lucky
00:31:40day now no looking
00:31:54oh hello mrs frag it's uh it's got very cold in it not surprising
00:32:09i thought i heard the front door so did i
00:32:22victor what are you doing without your trousers on well you can talk i must say
00:32:28oh
00:32:32polar prince silver plate pollyanna
00:32:38what did it yes do you realize he picked the winner of every single race yesterday he must have
00:32:43seen the results in the paper that's it what are you talking about he can't read can he well how
00:32:49do you know you didn't even know how they made love well he's getting information somewhere that's
00:32:54for sure where do you get in it come on talk talk oh don't be silly you know he can't
00:32:58talk
00:32:59you're quite right big fat beady-eyed useless lump don't talk to him like that and what do you mean
00:33:05useless he's picked all the winners this afternoon after they'd run
00:33:10fat lot of good that is if he could pick up before that
00:33:14i wonder what's the time
00:33:17half past three i can be at the betting shop by half past four now listen genius listen to me
00:33:23who's a nice
00:33:24fella then who's a big handsome clever lad what you're gonna do to him shut up a minute i'm
00:33:29gonna read you the runners of the 4 30 at kempton today now relax think carefully winners only here we
00:33:37go family steps petticoat p with the third p with the fair he's never even been placed you must be
00:33:50out
00:33:50of your tiny mine oh now look what you've done you made him dirty his cage again i'm not surprised
00:33:56p with
00:33:56your third all right i'll do it i'm warning you mate if you're wrong i'll ring your bloody neck oh
00:34:03don't
00:34:04worry mummy will ring daddy's bloody neck it's all right i'll go
00:34:16oh excuse me mr perky oh i'm sorry to interrupt your dressing that's all right i was just having a
00:34:23game of cards oh yeah i see would you care to have a game not just now thank you i
00:34:29mean i'm hardly
00:34:30dressed for it am i oh we'll soon get those off you oh no thank you actually i'll come to
00:34:34see fit oh
00:34:35there he is well if you'll excuse me i must get back to it
00:34:44i thought i might find you back here uh here's your trousers oh thanks a lot
00:34:50oh they'll be very useful they will in case my legs ever have a row and split up well it
00:34:54wasn't my
00:34:55fault you told me to follow that car all right all right did you what followed a car oh yeah
00:35:01i stuck to them like a limp bit where did they go they just drove around for a bit and
00:35:05then they
00:35:05went into a cinema right come on good if we hurry we can just make the second half of the
00:35:10game we are
00:35:11not going to the football oh the various activities of the cuckoo islanders quite so thrilling as to
00:35:17watch them in the preparation of their evening meal is this the wonderfully interesting film you heard
00:35:23about no it's the one after this women are busily engaged in peeling vegetables and cutting up the
00:35:30meat to do this they use knives and other kitchen implements let us watch their nimble fingers at work
00:35:40for a few moments a spectacle few white people have been privileged to witness blimey how much more of
00:35:49this why don't you stop moaning oh that's choice that is it was bad enough missing the football without
00:35:55spending six bob to come and watch a bunch of idiots making an irish stew and that is where we
00:36:00must bid a
00:36:00reluctant farewell to cuckoo island he's got his arm around her now who louis of course the film you
00:36:07are about to see was refused a certificate by the british board of film censors but has been granted a
00:36:14showing by the local council oh that sounds more like it i am a well-known and practicing doctor
00:36:24in the artistic and beautiful picture which now follows you will see naked men and women engaged in
00:36:30the various arts of sexual love this is by no means intended to shock but purely and frankly to demonstrate
00:36:37that the sexual act far from being something to be afraid of is in fact a great joy and pleasure
00:36:44which
00:36:44can and indeed should be enjoyed by everyone first let us familiarize ourselves with the component parts
00:36:52of this the male body and this the female body god you don't miss a treat do you
00:37:06oh no no no no no no no let us look at the number of different ways in which we
00:37:19can bring the two
00:37:32together
00:37:33and that's the lineup for the last race of donkester don't price is followed and here is the result of
00:37:38the 4 30 of kempton first be with the third
00:37:42you get it hey buddy part each way 10 to 1. here are the runners for the five o'clock
00:37:48well you got yourself a good win eh sydney congratulations
00:38:19i've finished eating i'm glad to hear that that makes me feel a lot better that does
00:38:24what's the matter with you oh stone me you drag me away from the football match you drag me out
00:38:29of
00:38:30the cinema you drag me 20 miles into the country to watch them stuffing themselves stupid and then
00:38:34you ask what's the matter with me you didn't have to come out with me today you know no i
00:38:38can't wait
00:38:38not to come out with you tomorrow either listen i'm not going to stand by and watch that nit having
00:38:43it away with myrtle why not it's better than watching him eat him oh look i honestly didn't
00:38:48know it was going to be that sort of a film what a day all it needs is for dad
00:38:54to walk in now to
00:38:55make everything perfect oh for heaven's sake look what's he got against me anyway plenty apart from
00:39:00the fact that you're the boss's son is that so terrible oh you should hear him on that subject oh
00:39:05charming but what makes him think i want to marry you oh he doesn't on the contrary had you weighed
00:39:11up from the start i know all about blokes like young mr lewis oh listen madeline yes oh um another
00:39:18couple of those please um i mean um these please if i were you would have stuck to your first
00:39:24request
00:39:27i fancy the fellow with his car did you see that waitress i've never seen anything like that before
00:39:32yeah do you think that was all real of course it is it's the only qualifications they need for that
00:39:36job you know big prospects of course that's nothing you know because in some places they're completely
00:39:41topless nothing not a stitch oh i bet that's tricky when they're serving the soup it's a bit dodgy when
00:39:47they're frying the chips and all look if i say i'm sorry about the film sorry for being the boss's
00:39:54son
00:39:54and sorry for having such a lousy reputation could we start again and sorry for being on the make all
00:39:59the
00:39:59time with me from now on just good friends i'll drink to that how about a dance is that within
00:40:08the rules
00:40:08yeah provided there's no dirty work in the clinches
00:40:15all right he's got her on the floor now what in front of everybody
00:40:26i'm sorry lewis oh hello roger i'm sorry i was a bit put out today when you called our man
00:40:31oh that's all right no no it's all okay you can use the old flat for tonight
00:40:35you bastard wait master please
00:41:00Thank you, Joey.
00:41:13It's funny, but I don't seem to have seen anything of young Mr Lewis since we've been back. Have you,
00:41:17Bert?
00:41:18No, well, he's away, isn't he? That's what you told me.
00:41:21I guess that was a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it?
00:41:24No, I just wondered whether he'd left us for any reason. Have you had anything, Bert?
00:41:28I really couldn't care less for what's happened to him.
00:41:31You dropped me right in it, Ed, didn't you?
00:41:32Well, you didn't say it was a secret.
00:41:34Hello, Sid.
00:41:36Sitting down on the job again?
00:41:38Mr Plummer, I know my job, and there's nothing in the rule book which says I cannot do it in
00:41:42a seated position.
00:41:42I'll bet you said it to all the girls.
00:41:44Mr Plummer, if you want to bring a specific charge against me...
00:41:47No, no, no, sit down, enjoy yourself, relax.
00:41:50Go slow, work the rule, if you like.
00:41:51Here I am. Have a smoke as well.
00:41:57I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Fred. Come on.
00:42:00I'm in.
00:42:02Hello, Dad.
00:42:04Lewis, my boy, I didn't know you were back.
00:42:06We've got it.
00:42:07That contract from the Middle East.
00:42:09Show him, Mr Moore.
00:42:09And if I may say so, Mr Boggs,
00:42:11it was done in the face of very stiff competition.
00:42:14Very stiff indeed.
00:42:15Signed by His Highness King Frowsey of Aslam himself.
00:42:18Really?
00:42:19Another crowned head to add to our clientele.
00:42:22Excellent.
00:42:23What's it for?
00:42:24B-days.
00:42:26B-days?
00:42:27Yes, 1,000 of them.
00:42:291,000 B-days?
00:42:32One for each of his wives.
00:42:33There mustn't be any favoritism, sir.
00:42:36Are you mad?
00:42:37We do not make B-days.
00:42:39Then it's high time we started.
00:42:40You sign that one.
00:42:41I will not have my firm associated with the manufacture of such a dubious article.
00:42:47Dad, we cannot afford to turn it down.
00:42:48It's worth 19,000 pounds.
00:42:50I don't get...
00:42:5419,000.
00:42:55That's an awful lot of money.
00:42:57And payment?
00:42:58Immediately on completion of the order in two months' time.
00:43:02Two months?
00:43:03Yes, that was the only snag.
00:43:05They have to have them in time for the Feast of Abernibble, sir.
00:43:10Abernibble?
00:43:10That's right.
00:43:11Well, it's His Highness' custom to visit each of his wives in turn.
00:43:16It only happens once a year.
00:43:17I'm not surprised to hear it.
00:43:20Oh, but we couldn't possibly complete the snag order in two months.
00:43:24We haven't even got a design.
00:43:25Yes, we have.
00:43:26Mr. Coote did one months ago.
00:43:27Now, come on, Dad, sign.
00:43:29Oh, very well.
00:43:30I can't help feeling I'm going into something I shall regret.
00:43:37You're looking very well this morning, Mrs. Moore.
00:43:40Thank you, Doctor.
00:43:41Can I get dressed again now?
00:43:42Yes, while I put my eyes back in.
00:43:44Another new suit?
00:43:45Yeah, and a bit of luck on the cheesies.
00:43:47Okay, and you'll have to give me some tips.
00:43:48I've got a good one for you.
00:43:49What's that?
00:43:50Don't bend over in a tight skirt.
00:43:53Saucy!
00:43:56Refused you a bridging loan for a measly 1,500?
00:43:58I don't believe it.
00:43:59I'm afraid it's true.
00:44:00I hadn't wanted to bother you with our financial problems,
00:44:03but the bank has been carrying us for some years.
00:44:06And now they're dropping us.
00:44:07It seems so.
00:44:08We'll just have to get out of that contract somehow.
00:44:10Excuse me, WC.
00:44:10How much do you need to get by?
00:44:12Oh, I think 1,000 would do.
00:44:14Is that all?
00:44:141,000?
00:44:15You don't want to bother with banks.
00:44:16I can let you have that.
00:44:17You can, Mr. Plummer.
00:44:19Yeah, I haven't got it with me, but I can soon get it.
00:44:21Let's see.
00:44:22I've got an hour to the last race at Cheltenham.
00:44:24Last race at Cheltenham?
00:44:25That's right.
00:44:26I'll have to move fast.
00:44:27I've got to see a bird first.
00:44:29A bird at Cheltenham?
00:44:32You promised me you'd limit it to two bits a week
00:44:35so he didn't overstrain himself.
00:44:37Don't argue.
00:44:38Read out the runners.
00:44:40All right, but don't blame me if nothing happens.
00:44:45I'm sorry about this.
00:44:47It's nothing to do with me, Joey.
00:44:49I'm not the greedy one.
00:44:52All right?
00:44:54Here we go, then.
00:44:55Four-thirty at Cheltenham.
00:44:57Barb.
00:44:59Girly.
00:45:01Hard to get.
00:45:04Order form.
00:45:06Proper Charlie.
00:45:08Sweet Sue.
00:45:10That's the one.
00:45:14What's your bet in?
00:45:1618 to one.
00:45:18That'll do.
00:45:2018 to one, Sweet Sue.
00:45:2256 pounds.
00:45:24Win bet.
00:45:26That's exactly 1,026 pounds.
00:45:30That's just what I make it, Benny.
00:45:32Just what he makes it.
00:45:33Pints of blood, I'm giving it.
00:45:34It's all right.
00:45:34You'll get it all back.
00:45:36What's the good of getting it all back
00:45:37if already I've had a heart attack from paying it out?
00:45:39I'm sorry, Benny.
00:45:40You know I don't like doing this.
00:45:41You don't like doing this.
00:45:42I don't like doing this.
00:45:44So why do we go on suffering this way?
00:45:46Oh, limey.
00:45:47Just because I've had a bit of luck for a change.
00:45:49For a change, he said.
00:45:50For a change.
00:45:51Have a look at this.
00:45:52It's all in black and white in the ledger.
00:45:54In the last three weeks,
00:45:5511 winning bets you've had.
00:45:592,433 pounds.
00:46:01You have taken from me.
00:46:04Tell you what I'll do with you.
00:46:05Tomorrow, I'll come in here and I'll bet the lot on a long...
00:46:07No, no, no, no, no more, Sid.
00:46:09It's finished.
00:46:10Finished?
00:46:11From now on, there's a limit on you.
00:46:12Five pounds.
00:46:13What are you talking about?
00:46:14What kind of a sportsman are you?
00:46:16What's with the sportsman?
00:46:18If I was a sportsman, I'd be riding the horses.
00:46:23Ah, Mr. Coote, I'd like you to show my father your bidet design.
00:46:27By all means, Mr. Lewis.
00:46:28I have it right here.
00:46:31Yes, yes.
00:46:32If anyone has any use for this sort of thing.
00:46:34Any idea of the cost?
00:46:35Well, after basic outlay on a new mould and so on, about seven pounds each.
00:46:40How about that, Dad?
00:46:41On this contract, that could be worth well over 100% profit.
00:46:44Well, he's hit on this marvellous labour-saving idea.
00:46:46You tell him, Mr. Coote.
00:46:47Well, it's quite simple, really.
00:46:49Instead of the conventional arrangement of separate hot and cold taps and waste control tap,
00:46:54the whole thing could be done by one simple control.
00:46:57Thus.
00:46:58Hot.
00:46:59Cold.
00:47:01Down the hole.
00:47:31Drop it, really.
00:47:38Counter-switches!
00:47:49Oh, blimey, now what's happened?
00:47:52Excuse me.
00:48:05One at a time.
00:48:07I'm sorry, Mr. Plummer, but these men cannot put this fitting onto those things.
00:48:10Why not?
00:48:11What's the matter with him?
00:48:11I stand to be corrected, of course, but I think I'm right in stating that this here is a combined
00:48:14tap and waste pipe control.
00:48:16That's right.
00:48:17What about it?
00:48:17So whose job is it to fit it, then?
00:48:19What are you talking about?
00:48:20Well, Ernie can do it, can't you, Ernie?
00:48:21Of course I can, Sid.
00:48:22Oh, no.
00:48:23Because Ernie is a tap fitter.
00:48:25Willie can do it, then.
00:48:26Oh, no.
00:48:27Because Willie, as you well know, is a waste pipe fitter.
00:48:29Right.
00:48:30Then they can both do it.
00:48:31Oh, no.
00:48:32Because if a tap fitter does it, that means he's doing a waste pipe fitter's job.
00:48:34If a waste pipe fitter does it, that means he's doing a tap fitter's job.
00:48:36Well, what the hell does it matter as long as they're both working?
00:48:39That's what I was saying.
00:48:40If you'll pardon me, you don't have a say.
00:48:42This is union business.
00:48:44Well, it is our union, innit?
00:48:45Exactly.
00:48:46And for that reason, you do as they bloody told you.
00:48:48Now, listen.
00:48:48Under a redundancy agreement, D.D. Marshal-Camp 1916-9...
00:48:51All right, we know all about that, but we're not making anybody redundant, are we?
00:48:54These men are doing their own jobs and each other's jobs in the same time.
00:48:58All right, Mr. Spanner.
00:48:59What's your solution?
00:49:01It's not the union's job to give solutions.
00:49:03You can say that again.
00:49:04Mind you, just to show that I'm not trying to make difficulties,
00:49:06if you was to scrap this fitting and make two separate fittings for tap-up waste pipe control.
00:49:10Impossible.
00:49:10That basin was made for only that one fitting.
00:49:12That's typical, that, innit?
00:49:13Isn't that typical?
00:49:14I offer them a solution and immediately they start making difficulties.
00:49:17Hang on, I got it.
00:49:18Suppose they work together.
00:49:19Ernie places the fitting in the hole, connects it to the inlet pipe,
00:49:22then Willie connects it to the outlet and does it up.
00:49:24How's that?
00:49:25You're missing the point, Mr. Plummer.
00:49:26You've still got two men doing two men's jobs in the same time.
00:49:29Well?
00:49:29Which is the same as one man doing one man's job in half the time.
00:49:32And what's wrong with that?
00:49:33Well, crikey, if every worker did his job in half the time,
00:49:35the country would soon be in a right old mess, wouldn't it?
00:49:38Bernie?
00:49:38Now, wait a minute.
00:49:39You can't bring him out.
00:49:40I'm sorry.
00:49:41Until I acquaint the Union General Secretary with all the facts,
00:49:44you'll leave me no alternative.
00:49:45Everybody out!
00:50:00Come on, brothers.
00:50:01Keep the line moving.
00:50:07Come on.
00:50:27I beg your pardon, Miss Withering.
00:50:34I'm sorry, Mr. Boggs, but I can't let you give up like this.
00:50:37I'm no alternative, my dear.
00:50:38Two weeks of this strike has finished us.
00:50:40But what is to become of me?
00:50:41I've given my whole life to Boggs.
00:50:44Oh, naturally, I shall arrange that you be taken over with the firm.
00:50:47But I don't want to be taken over.
00:50:49I just want to carry on with you.
00:50:51Well, of course, I do appreciate your loyalty, my dear.
00:50:54No, you don't.
00:50:55That's the trouble.
00:50:56You never have appreciated me.
00:50:58What?
00:50:59I've worked for you for 30 years.
00:51:00And in all that time, have you ever sat me on your knee
00:51:03or asked me to go away for a naughty weekend?
00:51:06No.
00:51:07Really, Miss Withering?
00:51:08You've never even pinched my bottom.
00:51:11I am not in the habit of interfering with other people's seating arrangements.
00:51:16And now, if you don't mind, we'll continue with the dictation.
00:51:18Oh, damn the dictation!
00:51:20I don't care what you think of me anymore.
00:51:22But I'm not just going to stand by and watch you throw everything away like this.
00:51:26Miss Withering, you're pressing right on my keys.
00:51:28Then, William, fight back. I'll be at your side.
00:51:31I'll work for nothing.
00:51:32We can do it, William.
00:51:33I'm sure we can do it together.
00:51:35I don't want us to do it together.
00:51:37You've worn all this too long, William.
00:51:38You've lost confidence.
00:51:40All you need is a good prod.
00:51:43I assure you that is the very last thing I need.
00:51:45Lean on me, my dear.
00:51:46Take strength from me.
00:51:48Together, we'll see through.
00:51:52Blimey. Talk about the power game.
00:51:58Oh, Dad, I'm sorry we barged in on you like that.
00:52:00I had no idea you and Miss Withering were...
00:52:02We weren't.
00:52:03What's more, we never have.
00:52:05It's just that she was upset, worried about her future.
00:52:08After all, she's not getting any younger.
00:52:10She's not getting any.
00:52:12Yes, well, did you have any luck with the union?
00:52:15None at all.
00:52:16The Industrial Relations Committee has come back from Rio all right,
00:52:19but the Action Committee has gone off to Russia.
00:52:21Oh, well, I suppose that's that.
00:52:22Why aren't there any pickets on the gate this morning?
00:52:24It's after nine.
00:52:25They've probably gone on strike too.
00:52:27Dad, look!
00:52:32I can't believe it.
00:52:37They're coming back!
00:52:39I had a feeling they would today.
00:52:40Why today?
00:52:41It's the annual work shouting.
00:52:43Yeah.
00:52:48Well, I suppose we'd better get ready, Mr Blimey.
00:52:51Ready? For what?
00:52:51Are you not going with them?
00:52:53Yes, I am, my boy.
00:52:54But why?
00:52:55Because I have suddenly decided, after all these years,
00:52:58that what I've been missing is a right good booze-up!
00:53:12No Fred, then?
00:53:14No, he's off on another sales trip.
00:53:16What a pity.
00:53:17Today, of all days.
00:53:18I know.
00:53:19I've spent half the night trying to talk him into having it off.
00:53:22I wouldn't have needed any persuading.
00:53:24I bet.
00:53:26You've got nothing to worry about.
00:53:27I should be very happy to look after you today.
00:53:30Oh, ta!
00:53:31That'll be nice, won't it, Maude?
00:53:33Mr Plummer's offered to look after us today.
00:53:36Oh, that'll be lovely, Mr Plummer.
00:53:38Pleasure.
00:53:39I was just saying to Chloe,
00:53:40it's not much fun without a man.
00:53:42You should know.
00:53:49You've never done it before.
00:53:51No, have you?
00:53:52Oh, loads of times.
00:53:54What's it like?
00:53:55Well, my mate Vic arranges it all.
00:53:57See, we get to Brighton, about 12 o'clock,
00:54:00and then we have this slap-up meal, serviettes and all.
00:54:03What do we do after?
00:54:05Well, we can do anything once we're there.
00:54:07We can go on the pier,
00:54:09eat winkles,
00:54:10throw stones in the water.
00:54:12To be frank, Mr Coot,
00:54:13I've never tried it.
00:54:15Really, Miss Withering?
00:54:16Well, you certainly missed something.
00:54:18I'm always ready to learn.
00:54:20Oh, well.
00:54:22Er, it's a bit difficult to show you here,
00:54:24but, er,
00:54:25I can tell you how it's played.
00:54:27First of all,
00:54:28you deal out five cards to each person, you see.
00:54:32You know,
00:54:34I can't think why I didn't notice you at the factory before.
00:54:37The day I got taken on,
00:54:38they all went on strike.
00:54:40Oh, you're lucky.
00:54:41I had to work three weeks before I got one.
00:54:45I'm on my own today, you know.
00:54:47So I gathered, yes.
00:54:49Well, it's the best way, isn't it?
00:54:50I mean, why lumber yourself with a bird going down to Brighton?
00:54:53I mean, it's like taking cows to Newcastle, isn't it?
00:54:55If you say so.
00:54:56Oh, yes.
00:54:57The place is full of spare, you know.
00:54:59I mean, the last time we went,
00:55:00we had to fight them off like flies they were.
00:55:02Well, some people attract them, don't they?
00:55:05Just like dust spins.
00:55:08Er, yeah.
00:55:08Yeah, I suppose so.
00:55:10Look, er,
00:55:11if you're going to be on your own as well,
00:55:12I mean, er,
00:55:13I wouldn't mind showing you around.
00:55:15Oh, well, thanks all the same,
00:55:16but I don't think you ought to disappoint all those poor lies.
00:55:19I don't know.
00:55:49Of course, I'd love to spend the day with you, Vic.
00:55:53Would you?
00:55:53Yeah.
00:55:54Oh, well, that's all right, isn't it, eh?
00:56:21Come on, boys and girls, it's where we're supposed to have our lunch.
00:56:23Come on, follow me.
00:56:24Lunchtime.
00:56:42Good morning.
00:56:43Ah, good morning, brother.
00:56:44We are the Bogs and Sons Outing.
00:56:46Oh, yes, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm afraid we can't do you lunch.
00:56:50Oh, no, I'm starving.
00:56:52What?
00:56:53But I booked it six weeks ago.
00:56:55Yes, I know, and I'm sorry, but our entire restaurant staff has gone on strike.
00:57:00Gone on strike?
00:57:01Well, they can't do that.
00:57:02Listen, who's talking?
00:57:03The bar's open, of course, and there are cold snacks, but that's the best we can offer you, I'm afraid.
00:57:07Well, that just isn't good enough.
00:57:09I mean, who do they think they are?
00:57:10They're just a bunch of poor, downtrodden workers being exploited by an unscrupulous management.
00:57:15You should know that.
00:57:16Well, what's it matter?
00:57:17A drink will do me.
00:57:18Here, here, cheer up, everybody.
00:57:20The drinks are on me.
00:57:22This way, sir, please.
00:57:23Well, don't you worry.
00:57:24I'm not going to let them get away with this.
00:57:25They are taking the bread out of the poor workers' mouths.
00:57:27That's what they're doing.
00:57:28But there's nothing we can do about it, Vic, is there?
00:57:30No.
00:57:31Of course there is.
00:57:32I am not going to be pushed around by a bunch of ruddy anarchists for anything.
00:57:35And I'm going to tell them and all.
00:57:37Come on.
00:57:39Oh, hey, you.
00:57:41What's all this about you lot being on strike, then?
00:57:44That's right, mate, we are.
00:57:47What about it, then?
00:57:50Tell him, Ernie.
00:57:52Don't you realize you're taking the bread out of the poor workers' mouths?
00:57:55You don't say.
00:57:57You're just a bunch of ruddy anarchists.
00:57:58That's what you are.
00:57:59Really?
00:58:00Who says so?
00:58:01He does.
00:58:07There you are, Mr. Spanner.
00:58:08Just in time for your drink.
00:58:10Same again, all round, please, darling.
00:58:12Ah, there you are, Vic.
00:58:16Well, we certainly told him, didn't we?
00:58:19We'll be coming round, darling, when she comes.
00:58:23We'll be coming round, darling, when she comes.
00:58:28We'll be coming round, darling, when she comes.
00:58:30That'll listen to me.
00:58:31Would you please go away and stop bothering me?
00:58:33No, I damn well won't.
00:58:34Now, then.
00:58:35Now, then.
00:58:35You heard what Mert said, so buzz off.
00:58:37If you don't get out of the way, I'll knock your silly head off.
00:58:40Yes?
00:58:41Yes.
00:58:43Bernie?
00:58:43Now, now, Mr. Lewis.
00:58:45We don't want no trouble.
00:58:46No, who's going to stop it, then?
00:58:48Me, if I have to.
00:58:49All right, go on, then.
00:58:50Go on, try it, then.
00:58:51Try it.
00:58:52All right.
00:58:53But don't say I didn't warn you.
00:58:58Now you've really done it.
00:59:00Oh, for God's sake.
00:59:05Gosh, I am sorry, Vic.
00:59:07Are you all right?
00:59:17Oh, splendid, splendid.
00:59:19Let's have more drinks.
00:59:21Oh, no, come on.
00:59:21Let's go for a walk.
00:59:23There's a smashing front here.
00:59:24There's a smashing one there, and all.
00:59:26Oh, I see.
00:59:28I know, I know.
00:59:29Let's all go on the pier and have a winkle.
00:59:31You can have one here just through that door.
00:59:33Oh, ha, ha.
00:59:34No, let's go on the pier.
00:59:50Come on, man, come on.
00:59:53We have a lot of conferences down here.
01:00:09There's nothing to it.
01:00:10I'll show you.
01:00:22There's nothing to it.
01:00:30Come on!
01:00:31Hey, hey!
01:00:31Hey, hey!
01:00:32Come on!
01:00:36Come on!
01:00:38Oh!
01:00:42Come on!
01:00:45Come on!
01:00:48Come on, then!
01:00:55Skinheads!
01:00:56That showed him!
01:01:00Oh! There's something I want to have a go at!
01:01:03Come on, then!
01:01:11Hold it! Hold it! Pertily still!
01:01:14I'm gonna take it! Now!
01:01:18How was that?
01:01:19Beautiful burn!
01:01:21Beautiful!
01:01:23Come on, Vic!
01:01:24Let's have a go on the mat!
01:01:26What? In front of everybody!
01:01:28Oh, you mean the Elder Skelter!
01:01:29Yeah! Come on!
01:01:30Hey, Bernie! Come on! We're going on the Elder Skelter!
01:01:33No, no!
01:01:34Come along, now!
01:01:34You've had enough!
01:01:35You've got to have something to eat!
01:01:37No!
01:01:38There was a young fellow called Reg
01:01:40who went with a girl in the head
01:01:41when along came his wife
01:01:43with a big carving knife
01:01:45and cut off his meat in two veins!
01:02:05Oh, big darling!
01:02:06I've not had so much fun in all my life!
01:02:09Thanks!
01:02:13Oh!
01:02:14Oh!
01:02:15Oh!
01:02:15Oh!
01:02:15We are the champions!
01:02:17Oh!
01:02:18Oh!
01:02:19Oh!
01:02:19What was that sticking in me?
01:02:21It was only me camera!
01:02:25Mr. Boggs!
01:02:26I found a fortune teller!
01:02:27Shall we try it?
01:02:29Fortune teller?
01:02:30Certainly not!
01:02:31Waste of money!
01:02:32Fakes, that's all they are!
01:02:33Sitting there looking at their crystal!
01:02:35What's the names?
01:02:36Balls!
01:02:37I quite agree!
01:02:38Absolutely ridiculous!
01:02:40I don't mind having a go!
01:02:41I love them!
01:02:41You do?
01:02:42Come on in!
01:02:43Let's have a bash!
01:02:46Never mind, Miss Withering!
01:02:47I'm a couple!
01:02:49Much better for you!
01:02:50Oh!
01:02:50Do you think I ought to?
01:02:51I mean, I've heard that shellfish do very strange things!
01:02:55In a sex way, I mean!
01:02:57Really?
01:02:58Ooh!
01:02:58Let's watch them for a bit, then!
01:03:05Anybody home?
01:03:06Look!
01:03:07Go on to lunch!
01:03:08Back in the near future!
01:03:09The foreseeable future, I hope!
01:03:11We'll come back later, eh?
01:03:12Wait a minute!
01:03:17I've got an idea!
01:03:20I've got...
01:03:29But I don't want my fortune told!
01:03:31I've already told you!
01:03:32I don't believe in it!
01:03:33Oh, you will this one, Mr. Boggs!
01:03:34She's marvellous!
01:03:35Go on!
01:03:35Be a sport!
01:03:36No!
01:03:37All right, then!
01:03:38Go on, then!
01:03:38In you go!
01:03:40Excuse me, dear!
01:03:42Customers!
01:03:43Aye, now!
01:03:43I saw you coming!
01:03:45I beg your pardon?
01:03:46In the bowl!
01:03:47Ah, yes!
01:03:48You are indeed in need of help!
01:03:49Please be seated!
01:03:51Thank you!
01:03:52No wrong, dear!
01:03:53Now, then!
01:03:54Do you wish me to prognosticate?
01:03:56Oh, please do!
01:03:57We'll wait!
01:03:59Please!
01:04:01Please!
01:04:01I must have absolute silence to establish contact!
01:04:09Ah, the mists are clearing!
01:04:12I see a picture forming!
01:04:14All around you are strange-looking objects!
01:04:17White and shining!
01:04:19Tell me, do lavatories play a big part in your life?
01:04:23What?
01:04:24Why, yes!
01:04:25They do, as a matter of fact!
01:04:27I thought so!
01:04:29You are a cloakroom attendant!
01:04:31Certainly not!
01:04:32I manufacture them!
01:04:33I have a factory!
01:04:35Ah, I see a picture appearing!
01:04:37The factory is about to stop and fall into ruins!
01:04:41Oh, oh, no!
01:04:42Unless...
01:04:43Unless what?
01:04:43There is a woman who loves you!
01:04:45Her name begins with...
01:04:48W!
01:04:50Is it whittling?
01:04:52Withering?
01:04:53Miss Withering!
01:04:55Withering!
01:04:56That's it!
01:04:57Your affinities will be closely entwined!
01:05:00Don't be disgusting!
01:05:02I see...
01:05:04A marriage!
01:05:06And one, two, three, fourteen children!
01:05:10Oh, no!
01:05:11Oh, no!
01:05:13Don't go, William!
01:05:14Come back!
01:05:15William!
01:05:19Not bad!
01:05:21Do you want to do me now?
01:05:22Not all.
01:05:23Let me get these things off first.
01:05:29William!
01:05:35William, come back!
01:05:38William!
01:05:38Wyatt!
01:05:50William!
01:05:51Ah, ah, ah.
01:05:56Ah, ah.
01:05:59Ah, ah.
01:06:01Ah, ah, ah.
01:06:04Ah, ah, ah.
01:06:05Here, here.
01:06:06This one.
01:06:08Ah, ah, ah.
01:06:12Ah, ah.
01:06:13Ah!
01:06:16Ah, ah, ah.
01:06:18Ah, ah, ah, ah.
01:06:22Switch it off, switch it off, my girls in there.
01:06:27Let me go.
01:06:29Let me go.
01:06:30No, let me listen to what I've got to say.
01:06:34Now, do you see this?
01:06:35No, I don't.
01:06:37What is it, anyway?
01:06:38It's a special marriage licence.
01:06:41What?
01:06:43A special marriage licence, my darling.
01:06:46Now, do we use it or do I tear it up?
01:06:49Oh.
01:06:50Lewis.
01:06:52Darling.
01:06:59Here.
01:07:00You leave her alone.
01:07:02Julia.
01:07:03Hurry down.
01:07:04Oh, no.
01:07:05Excuse me a minute, darling.
01:07:08Ow, ow, oh.
01:07:09Ow, oh.
01:07:10Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
01:07:43Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
01:07:44Blimey.
01:07:44They're supposed to be here at 6.30.
01:07:46Where do you think they've got to?
01:07:47Search me?
01:07:48And what do you suppose happen to old Myrtle?
01:07:50I don't know, and once more, I don't care either.
01:07:52Ooh, what's this coming, then?
01:07:53But not to mean?
01:08:04Oh, nobody!
01:08:06Come on, then, lady.
01:08:07Oh,ala.
01:08:07Yeah?
01:08:09Come on in, lady.
01:08:12Oh, yes.
01:08:13Oh.
01:08:14Oh, no.
01:08:18Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08:54Let's go.
01:09:26Let's go.
01:09:48Let's go.
01:10:18Let's go.
01:10:18Let's go.
01:10:19Let's go.
01:10:19Let's go.
01:10:19Let's go.
01:10:20Let's go.
01:10:20Let's go.
01:10:20Let's go.
01:10:21Let's go.
01:10:21Let's go.
01:10:21Let's go.
01:10:21Let's go.
01:10:21Let's go.
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01:14:47What are you talking about?
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