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BRITCOM 3
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00:00Tonight!
00:01Get in there with your titty tassels, shimmy shimmy.
00:04Lucinda pours her heart out.
00:06I know, I know. Let it out.
00:09Before sticking her nose in.
00:11I love the smell.
00:15So gorgeous.
00:17As our celebs.
00:18I want to fill my finger with a big fat ring.
00:22Here we go.
00:22There's a couple of people that I think we've got in common.
00:24They didn't bring in the best fat.
00:26Did they not?
00:27Couldn't I just stay at home and punish myself in the face?
00:29Dating!
00:30Yeah!
00:32Dating!
00:33You bastard!
00:34Come on!
00:39Welcome to Celebs Go Dating.
00:41I think I'm used to this.
00:43It's a brand new day at the agency where, as always,
00:46the relationship management and emotional wellbeing
00:48of their celeb clients is the main focus of the agents.
00:52Can I say everyone looks really bloody fit today?
00:54Oh.
00:55Anna, you know what?
00:56On that note.
00:57Yeah.
00:57I have something big that I want to announce.
00:59We all know that, P-Dog.
01:00Go on.
01:01I had sex last night.
01:03Oh!
01:04Well, I watched Silent Witness in my pants eating hash browns,
01:07but you don't hear me showing off.
01:08I put the ketchup in an egg cup.
01:10I think you were teasing us about the announcement.
01:13Yes.
01:13You're right.
01:13I was being a bit coy.
01:15What's the real announcement?
01:16Yeah.
01:16I'm British, guys.
01:18I'm a full-on resident of the UK.
01:22I did pass my test.
01:23I did pass my test, yeah.
01:25Yeah.
01:28But you know what this does mean, Ty?
01:29You know what this means?
01:30What's it?
01:30You can never get rid of us.
01:32This is true.
01:36And here's someone else we can't get rid of.
01:38It's David.
01:39And I've seen enough Potsy walk-ins to know when he's hung over.
01:43Big time.
01:44Let's hope he's functioning enough to make the exact noise of the intercom bell.
01:49Still got it, DP.
01:50Hi, Dave.
01:51Celebrity dating agency.
01:52Hi, Tom.
01:53It's David.
01:54Come in, darling, dude.
01:56Oh, keep it down, Tom.
01:57He's feeling fragile.
02:09Oh, no.
02:11Is that right?
02:15Oh, God, don't go over there, Tom.
02:17Those sick burps linger.
02:19Let's make life really nice for you because you're hanging.
02:23Yeah.
02:24You're hanging out of your anus.
02:26Yeah.
02:26Oh, don't pamper him, Tom.
02:28He's only hanging out of his anus because he went full YB for Weekender last night.
02:33Actually, I think I've just got a kind of coconutty residue on my hand.
02:36Oh, nice.
02:37What a treat.
02:38Tiny little bit of alcohol.
02:40Oh, yeah.
02:41Oh, my goodness.
02:43Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
02:45Oh.
02:45Oh.
02:46Rude awakening.
02:48Oh.
02:48Rude awakening.
02:49Hello?
02:49Hi, lovely tea.
02:50We're ready for David.
02:52All right, darling.
02:54Oh.
02:54Oh, come on.
02:55Oh, my God.
02:56I'm tea.
02:57I need a Lucas aid.
02:59Oh, well, you look ravishing.
03:01Oh, thank you.
03:02Aesthetically, I wouldn't know you were hanging.
03:03You would if you looked at his shorts.
03:05Honestly, it's like a butcher's window.
03:08Because I feel like I'm going to die.
03:10Oh, darling.
03:13Oh, now let's see what kind of mood David is in.
03:17He's always in.
03:19He's always in a big mood.
03:20So, he is.
03:21Oh.
03:22Oh.
03:23Oh.
03:24I mean, that is a powerful entrance, David.
03:27Your legs are popping.
03:29Your lips are popping.
03:31My insides aren't popping.
03:33A little bit ropey after last night.
03:36Had a big night out?
03:39Basically, the day was f***ing sick.
03:44David got a right eyeful from Anthony.
03:47Oh, okay.
03:48That's my dog there.
03:50Then he got a mouthful.
03:52That's so lovely.
03:53Then they went off for a skimful.
03:55Yeah, let's go get another tequila.
03:57Come on.
03:58Tequila time.
03:59And judging by the state of David today,
04:01it wasn't just a quickie.
04:02He pulled his pants down.
04:04Oh, what?
04:05So, I was looking at his tattoos and he was like,
04:07I've just got a new tattoo.
04:08And I was like, oh, what is it?
04:09He was like, it's my dog.
04:10And I was like, oh, let's see your dog.
04:12He went, it's on my leg.
04:13And then just stood up and pulled his pants down.
04:16Bulge was in my face.
04:17I didn't know if I was looking at the dog dressed as a pirate
04:20on his thigh.
04:21Captain cock next to it.
04:23I was like, I don't know where to look.
04:25I was like, do you prefer somebody making the move?
04:28Or do you like making the first move?
04:31He was like, oh, I prefer if somebody makes the move.
04:34But failing that, I'll get me cock and balls out
04:36and show you me pirate dog.
04:37So, we kissed over the table.
04:39Oh, okay.
04:41Then what happened next?
04:42Then we left.
04:43We had a peck outside.
04:45And then I was like, I don't want this to end.
04:47Oh.
04:48So, I was like, should we go for another tequila?
04:51You went after hours.
04:52Oh, we went after hours.
04:53And we know in the agency when we go after hours,
04:56things have got a bit of a dot, dot, dot.
04:59So, come on.
04:59Yeah.
05:00Then, all of a sudden, he just leant in
05:02and we were snogging in the middle of the pub,
05:05which is kind of making me cringe a little bit,
05:06but then I'm also loving it.
05:09What the fuck?
05:12Sorry, just wanted to join in too.
05:14Yes, David.
05:15What a result.
05:15Sorry.
05:16I'll make you three, two, three, four, one, two, ten.
05:21So, if David getting all hot under the collar,
05:24the incoming Gabby is getting all hot under a coat
05:27she clearly bought from age concerns.
05:31Hello, celebrity dating agency.
05:34Hey, it's Gabby.
05:35Do come in.
05:36I'll make you, I'll make you sweat.
05:39I'll make you sweat.
05:40I love you.
05:40I love you.
05:41I love you.
05:44I'll make you, I'll make you sweat.
05:46Oh.
05:47Oh, look at you.
05:49How are you?
05:50Yeah.
05:50Oh, I see.
05:51What not normal.
05:53Say what you want about that jacket,
05:55but at least it muffles Tom's nonsense.
05:57Oh, thank you.
05:57It's very toss-on, toss-off-able, isn't it?
06:00If anyone else said that, there'd be trouble.
06:02Oh, it's like a stole.
06:04It's bloody cold though, outside.
06:06It is.
06:06You're very well dressed for this.
06:08Oh, thank you.
06:09Little chinchilla.
06:10Don't worry, it's fake everyone.
06:12As if Gabby would kill that many chinchillas.
06:14It'd be a great fight though.
06:16Upstairs, the only bout David's having
06:18a bout of horniness after his knockout night.
06:21How would you rate that date from one to ten?
06:23Honestly, a solid 9.5.
06:269.5?
06:26Yeah.
06:27Wow.
06:28So, are you curious to hear what he thinks?
06:312-1 go over for this.
06:34I was impressed by his personality and his energy.
06:40He had beautiful eyes.
06:44David handled the date so well.
06:46Oh, my God!
06:47This is mature.
06:49Yeah, I'm so mature.
06:51What's the last one, Taz?
06:52That's Dr. Taz to you.
06:55How would you rate your date with David from one to ten?
06:59Oh, God, I've just said 9.5.
07:01He said...
07:05Ten out of ten!
07:07Yes!
07:08You bastard!
07:10Come on!
07:11Yes, baby!
07:13Are they pleased with that?
07:15It's hard to tell.
07:16We are very, very pleased.
07:19Clears that up.
07:20We're so proud of you.
07:22Oh, thank you.
07:23I'm excited to kind of see where it goes.
07:25So, second date.
07:27That's the really important one.
07:28OK.
07:29Have a think about the things that are really important to you.
07:32OK.
07:32Tequila shots, snogging and dogs dressed as pirates.
07:35That you would like to share with Anthony.
07:38Yeah.
07:38My challenge for you this time would be, ask him, what are you like in bed?
07:42I lie face down, head in the pillow, arm under it, leg hanging out, arse out the duvet like a
07:47fucking warthog.
07:49Sexual communication is hot.
07:50And other than that, just get in there with your titty tassels and that.
07:54Get in there and enjoy, baby.
07:55Shibby, shibby.
07:58Bye, bitches.
07:59Bye, bitches.
08:01Bye, my loves.
08:05Babes, I think what we need to do right now is start getting our wedding outfits ready.
08:11I thought you were going to say we should pop a bottle of champagne.
08:14David might well be off for a hair of the dog.
08:17As one happy poxy leaves, Gabby's next in.
08:20And she's getting Dr T and PCB in the Agent Roulette.
08:25Come on in.
08:28Hello.
08:29Hi, Gabby.
08:30I was like, who have I got today?
08:32Gabby and Joelle caused quite a splash in Tenerife.
08:36I feel like it's only fair to give Joelle a second go.
08:39Their first date was so nice, they had to do it twice.
08:42And by twice, I mean twice as many people because it was a double date with Lucinda and Ken.
08:47How many is that?
08:48A hundred.
08:49What?
08:50A hundred for the best.
08:50Thank you so much.
08:52And once they'd gone, Gabby got a gobful.
08:55Not like that, you perverts.
08:57How was your double date?
08:58It was really...
08:59An experience.
09:01Really?
09:01We were so excited for it.
09:04It was...
09:04We were just bouncing off each other, me and Lucinda.
09:07And then we got in there and when the guys arrived, it just kind of went...
09:13Like a choir of ducks.
09:15They left.
09:16Mm-hmm.
09:17Which means you and Joelle could have alone time.
09:20Yeah, he brought me a hundred roses.
09:22A hundred roses.
09:23Did he?
09:23I've never had that in my life.
09:24How did you feel about that?
09:25I just feel like he's sincere and he's got really good potential.
09:33But he's very young.
09:35I keep coming back to this.
09:37If he was older and in maybe a different position in his life, then I would be excited by it.
09:42But I just have this gut feeling that it's like, am I just wasting my time?
09:47Mm-hmm.
09:49You talked about some of the challenges with Joelle.
09:52What's the upside?
09:53I like how I feel when I'm with him.
09:55Really?
09:55Yeah.
09:56How would you describe it?
09:57Just like, hot.
09:58Are you sure that's not just the chinchilla body warmer?
10:01Just like, hot.
10:03He's interested and wants to get to know me.
10:06And I do believe that from him.
10:08He's got a really good energy to be around.
10:10I do like being around him.
10:12Okay.
10:12Everything that you've told me says that you definitely need another date with this guy.
10:19The real question is, does he show up in this third date consistent?
10:24Mm-hmm.
10:25If you feel a drop off, as Ken precipitously dropped...
10:30What's wrong with saying suddenly, Paul?
10:32If you feel a drop off, you walk.
10:35If you don't feel seen, you walk.
10:37Mm-hmm.
10:38Right?
10:38This is why this third date is very, very important.
10:42Yeah.
10:42Okay.
10:43Wow.
10:43PCB is serious.
10:45Typical Brit.
10:46On this date, you're going to be able to collect more information about him and make
10:53a decision for yourself on this next date.
10:56So, it's a very important date.
10:57Oh, God.
10:58God.
10:59Yeah.
11:00This is your biggest date so far of your time here at the agency.
11:04Yeah.
11:05All right.
11:05So, you're ready?
11:06Yeah.
11:07You feel good?
11:07Yeah.
11:07Yeah.
11:08You know what the mission is?
11:09Yes.
11:09Okay.
11:09No pressure, Agent Gabs.
11:22Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating where Gabby's gone to get ready for her most important
11:26date ever.
11:27And it's married at first sight for sore eyes Lucinda's turn, who's come dressed as an old
11:32lady's couch.
11:36Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
11:38Hello, gorgeous Tom Reed Wilson.
11:41Oh, Miss Light.
11:42Come in.
11:43Come in.
11:53Hi.
11:54Oh, look at your Paisley.
11:58Double denim.
11:59Oh, double denim and double Paisley.
12:02I'm mad about Paisley.
12:04How did you do?
12:05I feel like it's the spiral of life.
12:09Oh.
12:09Because all of nature's got the little, you know.
12:12Good way of putting it.
12:12God, how soft and flawless your skin is.
12:15Likewise, right back at you.
12:17Girls, we could just do this forever.
12:19For the love of God, please don't.
12:21Can you just be my little pussycat and just curl up in my lap and I'll just strike you?
12:26Sure.
12:26You'd be a better pussycat than me.
12:28Oh.
12:28You'd just purr on me.
12:29Well, I am very tactile.
12:30I think it's my love language.
12:32I reckon you're fluent in all of the love languages.
12:35Me too.
12:36My love language is pussy and dicks.
12:39In terms of affirmations, I have a rule.
12:40If it's dancing on my frontal lobe, it has to visit my tongue.
12:44Which is why I refuse to dance on his frontal lobe.
12:47Would you like to ring up, T?
12:49Gotta clean this phone here.
12:50Has it got make-up on it?
12:51Look at that.
12:51Can I put it on speakerphone?
12:53No, you have to lick my foundation off the phone.
12:55Go on, P-Dog.
12:56Give it a lick.
12:59Hello.
13:00Hello, T.
13:01If you could set her up.
13:03Certainly.
13:06Lucinda.
13:07Bye, my darling.
13:08Bye, darling.
13:09Back out in tennis, Lucinda had her first date with Ken.
13:13I'm not going to lie to you.
13:14Your lips are just doing it for me.
13:16And after some serious graft, they managed to clear the restaurant with their snogfest.
13:21But on their second date, Ken got ahead of himself.
13:24I mean, I've got a penthouse in Chelsea.
13:27As well as putting his foot right in it.
13:29Listen, she lives like...
13:30Not the foursomes with these lines.
13:32No, but it's got to be a foursome.
13:33No.
13:33No foursomes, Ken.
13:35Causing Lucinda to throw the towel in early.
13:38Have fun, you two.
13:39You too.
13:41Ken was looking for his Barbie and he was pretty sure he'd found it in you when we left Tenerife.
13:47But come second date, there was sort of not a presence that I'm looking for, a quality of just soulful
13:56chat that felt really true.
14:00With Ken, when did you first feel he wasn't the right one for you?
14:06Do you know what, I think it was the space between the notes of leaving Tenerife and the next stage.
14:15What I would argue is that you knew immediately.
14:21You're right.
14:22You extend this benefit of the doubt and you override your conscious.
14:29I haven't been dating for so long that I always lean into it because I'm like, well that's an experience.
14:33Yeah.
14:34Lucinda is the epitome of a people pleaser, but always saying yes or agreeing with your date, that is not
14:40a good strategy because essentially they're not getting to know the real you.
14:45I do recognise within all of that as well, I'm a very acquired taste, you know.
14:52Can we go into that a bit?
14:53Well I'm a bit of an Amazon-clamazon, so you know.
14:57And then I think, you know, just being a bold woman, I just don't think it's not a lot of
15:04people's cup of tea.
15:06Have you always sort of been this introspective?
15:09No.
15:09So what changed?
15:10I think it's just truly come from being a giant mess.
15:14And in so much pain and quite often a bit of heartbreak where I'm like, I don't know where to
15:21put this.
15:25Yeah, like a lot of pain, you know, earlier.
15:30And a lot of hatred toward my body as well.
15:37Being bullied and called fat.
15:39I've had a very, um, a bit of body dysmorphia around science.
15:47And it's a continual journey to accept a bigger body.
15:54And, yeah, I mean, I'm, yeah.
16:00I really am quite body positive.
16:04I mean, I, you know, I do, it requires radical acceptance, doesn't it?
16:09But it's a journey.
16:10And often we can fake it till we make it as well.
16:14If we throw enough shit at a wall, it might stick.
16:16Yeah.
16:17And we might just believe it ourselves.
16:18And I think the challenge that you have is self-acceptance in that area.
16:22Yeah, it can be.
16:23And, you know, I mean, often when I have a lover, like, I fall in love with it again.
16:29Because, you know, often what's reflected is just divine, you know.
16:37But sometimes when you're going solo, you forget without that love and touch.
16:43You know what I mean?
16:44Yeah.
16:44I'm so emotional today.
16:47We're such a huge mass of women in their middle age now that are not being met or found or
17:01touched and felt.
17:03And I think there's a bit of a lonely, a loneliness epidemic that's upon.
17:10It's so sad.
17:16I know.
17:19I know.
17:20I know.
17:20It's okay.
17:22Let it out.
17:23Let it out.
17:24It felt so easy in my 20s and 30s to fall in love and be in love.
17:31You know, sometimes I give up hope.
17:34Like, you know, I've been out there and, like, here I am.
17:37Let's go, you know.
17:40You know, this is great.
17:42But, yeah, also no pressure.
17:44You are, and I'm not just saying this to say it, one of the most exceptional people that I've ever
17:50witnessed.
17:51This is really important because you are amazing.
17:55But we also know that, you know, we can't keep carrying on up there, you know, when we need to
18:00sometimes just sit in the mud.
18:02And we, right now, we're sitting in the mud with you.
18:04You are gorgeous.
18:05Okay?
18:06Thank you, beautiful.
18:12All it takes is one person, Lucinda.
18:14Yeah.
18:15One person.
18:16And you are putting yourself in the position to find that person.
18:20Yes.
18:21Thank you, beautiful.
18:22And you're right.
18:22It is a numbers game, isn't it?
18:24Just keep going.
18:26Until I've found the poor bastard.
18:29Fantastic agent in from Adubs and PCB there.
18:32You've got this, Lucinda.
18:35Across town, Gabby's gearing up to work out if she wants to be in a duo with Joelle, who's ten
18:40years her junior.
18:41The third or third date, it's looking like it could get a bit serious.
18:45And I'm not one to shy away from that.
18:47Jesus, he thinks it could get serious enough to bring a wash bag.
18:50It's obvious that we have some sort of chemistry there, but I definitely need to dig a bit deeper
18:56and see if we are aligned on the fundamentals of what I would consider a strong relationship.
19:03Do you like Minecraft?
19:07Hey.
19:08How are you?
19:09How are you?
19:10Sorry to keep you waiting.
19:11You look amazing, man.
19:14Oh, thanks.
19:15That's very nice of you.
19:20I'm nervous.
19:21Why?
19:22I don't know.
19:23Maybe because the agent's told her this is the most important date of her life.
19:27Is that a good thing with Bethel though?
19:28I think it's a good thing.
19:29It should be a good thing.
19:30Yeah.
19:31I feel like if he wasn't nervous, then he would be like, what are you here for?
19:34It's quite warm here.
19:36Fair enough.
19:37Joelle seems to think you're pretty hot too.
19:39Look at him.
19:40I'm enjoying this feeling.
19:42Carry on.
19:44I can't take any more off.
19:46We're in a restaurant.
19:46Yeah, no, no.
19:47We stayed up for later, innit?
19:49He's like a kid in a sweet shop and he's got his eye on a couple of gobstoppers.
19:53How are you anyway?
19:55I'm just happy to be in a situation with you.
19:57Yeah, true.
19:57What's on your mind?
19:59Loads of things.
20:00Loads of things?
20:01Yeah.
20:02Okay, so I'm going to be straight up honest with you.
20:04We've talked about the age thing before.
20:06What I've been thinking about is that, realistically, what does the age gap mean moving forward?
20:12What is in your two year plan or things like that?
20:16You know that?
20:20Oh, shit.
20:29Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating where Gabby's in the middle of her journey to decide whether
20:34Joelle's more playgrounds and swings or serious things.
20:37What is in your kind of like two year plan or all like things like that?
20:41I'm ready to just settle down. I'm like, I'm not into all of this talking to loads of people and
20:46bouncing back and forth.
20:48Like, I don't really find it interesting, like, getting something deep for, like, seven months.
20:52Then I happen to start again. I don't like the start-and-again process.
20:54And I've always said, like, my next person, I want it to kind of be my last.
20:57What does, like, a long-term, like, a successful long-term relationship look like to you?
21:06Family-orientated, so caring, supportive.
21:14Jesus, has he recited an advert for an old people, Zoe?
21:17And just, like, teamwork. Loyal is everything to me.
21:21That's a good word. I was looking for that one.
21:23Loyal is everything.
21:24Oh, it's just bullshit filler until they shag, innit?
21:27But what else? I'll reverse that question back to you.
21:29Well done.
21:29Don't patronise him, Gabs. That's my job.
21:34Back to HQ now, where the agents have been putting their own special skills to good use on Lucinda.
21:39Um, there's a date for you tonight.
21:43But it's not just one.
21:44What?
21:45We have two.
21:46Wow.
21:47We have two, right?
21:48So you have a starter, and then you have a mate.
21:54Like a speed date?
21:55Like a speed date, almost, right?
21:57Okay.
21:57But this is to really maximise your time here.
22:00I like this.
22:00Okay.
22:01So the beauty is that you can decide which of these two that you'd like to continue on as dessert.
22:10That's so cheeky.
22:11Yes.
22:12Are we going in blind on this one?
22:13We're going in blind.
22:14We're going in blind.
22:14Yeah.
22:15I love surprises.
22:16Exactly.
22:17This is why we know, because you lean into everything we give you.
22:20Yeah.
22:20Okay.
22:20How are you feeling about that?
22:22Oh my gosh.
22:22This is going to be a night.
22:23I tell ya.
22:24This will be.
22:25Thank you guys.
22:26Thanks for holding all my tender bits today too.
22:28Always.
22:29I didn't know that was part of the service.
22:31They never hold mine.
22:32Bring it in sister.
22:33Thanks guys.
22:35Good to see you.
22:35Oh yeah.
22:35Good to see you.
22:36See you on the other side.
22:38I cannot wait.
22:41All right.
22:41You take care.
22:42Yep.
22:43Yep.
22:43Thanks guys.
22:44So much love.
22:44So much love.
22:46This was a breakthrough moment.
22:50And I wonder how much she's articulated of the story to anyone.
22:56And the fact that she was willing and wanting to do it here, now, especially at this point
23:00in the journey, shows that her next half could truly be life changing.
23:05I think the best is very much yet to come.
23:09Yeah.
23:09Yep.
23:09And hopefully this life changing journey won't end in divorce.
23:14Back across town, let's see how Gabby is getting on sizing up her future prospects
23:18with lover boy Joelle.
23:20You asked me, where do I see things in the next two years?
23:24But where do you see things?
23:25Oh God.
23:26I'm like ready to be in a proper relationship.
23:31Oh yeah.
23:32In a couple of years, don't know how long.
23:34But before I'm 40, I would like to have kids.
23:37Yeah.
23:37But yeah, just like the real deal.
23:38Like I want to fill my finger with a big fat ring, please.
23:44And I want to fill my ring with a big fat finger, Gabs.
23:47But you can't have it all right.
23:48We're on the same page then, aren't we?
23:50Is that what you're looking for?
23:51100%.
23:52How many kids would you want though?
23:53Two max.
23:55I wouldn't call them both max.
23:56But each to their own.
23:58That was two, three.
24:00I'm having you two.
24:01But three is like my maximum.
24:03You can see where we end now.
24:04You better get cracking then.
24:05No need to rush Gabs.
24:06He'll be an absolute sperm wagon at his age.
24:10I do know that there's like a three date rule normally.
24:12Yeah.
24:13I'm not saying that this is right now even though we're on a fair date.
24:15Yeah.
24:15But normally it's a three date rule that that's where you kind of like level up.
24:19Oh.
24:20I'm starting to think level up means sexy, sexy boom time.
24:23I think I know what you're saying, but I didn't even know there's that rule.
24:26Oh, so you aren't a seasoned date then.
24:27I'm very open to finding that one.
24:29You know what I mean?
24:30I feel like, yeah, it's about time.
24:33Is it?
24:34Yeah.
24:34If the time is right, the time is right.
24:38I like where kind of things are going.
24:40I want to know about you more.
24:42But yeah, I definitely want to carry things on.
24:45You're confusing.
24:47In terms of how?
24:47When I'm with you, I'm like, yeah, fancy him.
24:51But then obviously on my head on paper, I'm like, he's young, he's this, he's that.
24:56But then whenever I ask you things, you always deliver what I need you to say.
24:59And then that comes down to like my trust in whether I honestly like believe it,
25:05or like whether it's just a time will tell situation or...
25:09Let's not think that fast.
25:11Let's live in the moment.
25:12And if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
25:13It's not.
25:13It's not.
25:15Well, that's very mature, actually.
25:17So I think we've done it.
25:18Let me meet you up.
25:19Let's go.
25:22I had many doubts going into this, mainly just because of the age thing.
25:26And honestly, everything that I asked Joel, he had a very solid response.
25:33And I wasn't expecting that.
25:35But I think right now, not keeping my options open when I'm not 100% sure is a little unsettling
25:42for me.
25:43So I just want to make sure that the agents know that.
25:47Well, Gabby's still not 100% sold on Joel, so we'll have to see if he gets to level up
25:52or if it's time for a new player to enter.
25:55Give me, give me, give me more.
25:58In a rainy South London, ex-rugby player turned superstar DJ James Haskell is in the back of a black
26:04cab and he is 100% pumped for his next day.
26:08I'm very excited about this date.
26:09So what I know about Dottie is she's into health and fitness.
26:12She looked very pretty in her photo.
26:14She talked about wanting a bit of wit and confidence.
26:16I mean, I've definitely got one of those.
26:18I'll let the audience decide which one that is.
26:20Here's your clue.
26:20It's not the weird.
26:21I would love to feel that connection and that vibe and find that energy straight away.
26:26And hopefully tonight I'll have that.
26:27Well, you better get a move on.
26:28You're late, Jimbo.
26:33Across town, Lucinda's on her way to the blind double date the agents have lined up to help solve her
26:38problem of giving people the benefit of the doubt.
26:41What a fabulous opportunity to have a date for entree, a date for main, and then to choose one for
26:49dessert.
26:49It's a bit of a choose your own adventure night and I'm here for it.
26:53If you were going on an adventure, it would be handy if you was backed up by a Viking.
26:57That beard is so beardy.
26:59I was already super excited and then it's like, are you going to play against another guy?
27:02And I'm like, okay, here we go.
27:03So it just ramps up my enthusiasm for the date a little bit more because I absolutely need to make
27:09sure I win.
27:09Mate, it's a date, not the Hunger Games.
27:12You know, I think competition is healthy.
27:14So I'm coming in open-minded, being my authentic self, see if some things click between the two of us.
27:20I believe, I hope, the best man wins.
27:22We'll find out soon.
27:26Right, sit tight, Damo, and make yourself comfy.
27:28Lucinda might be a while.
27:30Yeah.
27:32Hello.
27:33Hello.
27:34How are you?
27:34Nice to meet you.
27:35Anurag.
27:36Anurag, yes.
27:36Lucinda.
27:37Good to meet you.
27:40How's it going?
27:41Pretty good.
27:42Yes.
27:43How are you going?
27:44Yes, I'm good.
27:44I'm good.
27:45So originally from Australia, right?
27:46I'm, yeah, very much Australian.
27:48Yes.
27:48And then how long have you been in the UK if you don't mind?
27:50Well, I sort of spend time between the two countries.
27:54Oh, okay.
27:55So you go.
27:55I do a bit of both.
27:56Well, you can't do both tonight.
27:58You've got to pick one.
27:59Anurag's a cool guy.
28:01He's definitely putting me at ease.
28:03I'm, I'm enjoying this.
28:05How about you, Lucinda?
28:05So siblings?
28:07I've got an older brother and then a middle sister.
28:10Okay.
28:10And so everybody's Australia based.
28:13I've never been to Australia.
28:14Oh.
28:14I want to definitely go.
28:16You have to come down under.
28:17I think you just did.
28:19Hobbies.
28:19What do you do outside of work?
28:20To relax?
28:21Hobbies, hobbies.
28:22I actually just did the Hoffman course.
28:24Do you know about that?
28:25Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:26How was that?
28:27I loved her.
28:28You know, I'm just trying to make better decisions for my life.
28:31Like not choosing the sugary things.
28:33Yeah.
28:33Sugar's the devil.
28:35Is sugar the devil?
28:36I feel like the actual devil might be a bit put out by that comparison.
28:39So start small.
28:40Have you heard of Kaizen?
28:41The concept of Kaizen?
28:42No, tell me.
28:44It's about incremental improvements when you want to make a change.
28:47Bit by bit.
28:48Yeah.
28:48They always come up with good ones.
28:50Yes.
28:50Like they see an inner naki.
28:53Oh.
28:55Ikegai.
28:56Ikegai.
28:57Ikegai.
28:57Ikegai.
28:58Ikegai.
28:58Ikegai.
28:59Ikegai.
29:17Ikegai.
29:18They seem to be a lot of bollocks but they seem to be getting on.
29:20That's a bonus.
29:23Right, over to rugby star-turned-podcaster and DJ James Haskell who's running late for
29:28his first date with personal trainer Dotty.
29:31Is it me or does she look just like his ex-wife Chloe Maidling?
29:34How am I feeling?
29:36Excited, I think.
29:38Apprehensive.
29:39My hope for the date is to just get to know him,
29:41find out what he's really like behind the celebrity side that we see.
29:46I love banter.
29:47I like to be sarcastic.
29:49I like to challenge and see if I can bring that out of him.
29:53Well, you're in luck, because here comes Bantony Hopkins now.
29:56Here's Jim, though.
29:58I'm very excited for my date with Dottie.
30:01I'm hoping it's better than the weather.
30:02You're a classic Bantz.
30:04Kill me.
30:05How you doing?
30:06I'm good, thank you. How are you?
30:08Good to know you. I'm James.
30:09Nice to meet you.
30:09How are you doing? You all right?
30:10Yeah, I'm good.
30:11Oh, my God, this weather's awful.
30:12It's disgusting.
30:13Literally disgusting.
30:14Turn up shaking.
30:16It looks like I'm shaking with nerves, but I'm literally shaking because I'm freezing.
30:18No, I was nervous.
30:19Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course it was nervous.
30:21You look great.
30:22Thank you, likewise.
30:23Thank you. Thank you. I try.
30:24I mean, there's not much to work with, but I try.
30:28Dottie looks beautiful.
30:29She's got a great smile.
30:30There's incredible energy.
30:32I think this is going to be a really, really good date.
30:35Can I get a glass of Pitbull, please?
30:37Pitbull?
30:37What?
30:38Fireball.
30:39Do you want regular or large one?
30:43Not that large, please.
30:44Oh, someone's gambling on James' foot in the bill.
30:47Can I get a tequila soda, please?
30:48Tequila, thank you.
30:49I wonder what you'd ordered then when you said a Pitbull.
30:51I was like, fucking hell.
30:53Yeah, what kind of idiot would make that mistake?
30:55Mr Worldwide.
30:56It's very nice. You can try it.
30:58Oh, it's very sweet. Thank you.
30:59You good at sharing?
31:01Yeah.
31:01Perfect, yeah.
31:02Yeah.
31:02I'm not sure I'll be spooning, like, dessert into my...
31:04Yeah, that's probably...
31:06Too soon.
31:07Too soon? Okay.
31:08I always get to over eager.
31:09Very cool, James.
31:11What has happened to our Baron of Banter?
31:13He's acting like a giddy schoolboy.
31:15I think someone's potty for Dottie.
31:18Back to Lucinda, who's still tucking into her first cool state, Anurag.
31:23This has been magical.
31:24I'm bored.
31:25And I want to end our engagement here with a bit of magic.
31:29Oh, hello. What's he got here, then?
31:31You're going to do a magic trick.
31:33A magic trick.
31:34Oh, right. He's actually going to do a magic trick.
31:36So, we have two points.
31:37Yes.
31:37Thank God he didn't get his wand out.
31:39Dick joke. Bit of fun.
31:40Yeah?
31:41Yeah.
31:42Yeah.
31:43Wow.
31:44Wow.
31:45And you have two points here?
31:46That's the tip, Soutan.
31:48Wow.
31:49I loved that.
31:51That's cool.
31:53So, that's...
31:53I leave you with a bit of magic.
31:55You can think about it while you're on your second date.
31:59Okay.
31:59Well, I better get out of here.
32:02Lovely meeting you.
32:03Likewise.
32:04Hope to see you.
32:05Yes.
32:06Take care.
32:07Yeah.
32:09What's your thoughts, fella?
32:10Wreck of the trick sealed the deal?
32:11I had a great, really good time.
32:13Lucinda is a lovely woman.
32:14I hope it converts to a dessert.
32:17But that's up to Lucinda, who she picks out of the two of us.
32:21But, yeah, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
32:23Don't worry, mate.
32:24You never know.
32:25Damo might pull out some mime.
32:26Then your chances will definitely improve.
32:28Okay.
32:31Time to see if James has improved his chances with Dottie
32:34after a nervy start from our superstar DJ.
32:36Thank you so much.
32:37One big ball in love, size.
32:39And tequila, soda.
32:41What did they send you about me?
32:43What did they say?
32:43Well, I kind of knew who you were.
32:45Kind of knew.
32:46That is the level of celeb we're aiming for on this show.
32:49There's a couple of people that I think we've got in common.
32:51Ooh, mutual friends.
32:52That's nice.
32:53Okay, like how in common.
32:56Look how scared you are.
32:57I'm not scared.
32:58Oh, God.
32:59They've told you.
33:00They didn't bring you the best life.
33:01Did they not?
33:03Oh, hang on.
33:04Has Jimbo been playing away from home?
33:06That's a rugby and sex joke.
33:08Oh, God.
33:09It all depends who needs to be for that.
33:10You probably don't even remember the one.
33:12No, I'm not like that.
33:14No, no, no, no.
33:16Don't label me as a player.
33:17I'm not that guy.
33:18I mean, listen, I've enjoyed the single.
33:20I'm sure you have.
33:22I'm sure you have.
33:24Oh, no.
33:25He's rucks this up.
33:27Back to Lucinda, who freshman agent-selected to start a date is making the short trip upstairs
33:32for a main course with beardy man Damien.
33:35I'm not going to do loads of Viking jokes, but he does put the throar in throar.
33:40Hi.
33:41Hello.
33:41How are you?
33:42Are you a hugger?
33:43You're Damien, is that?
33:45Hi.
33:45Lucinda, hi.
33:46How are you doing?
33:46Loving this.
33:48I grew it all myself.
33:49Fabulous.
33:50Oh, thank you.
33:51No worries.
33:52Have you been here long?
33:53Since about 865 AD, if I remember correctly.
33:57It's all good anticipation.
33:58Waving, the waving thing.
34:00How have you been?
34:01Really good.
34:02Yeah.
34:02Excited to hang out with you.
34:04Yeah.
34:04I don't come to London very often, so it's all a little bit exciting for me.
34:07I settled my own business two years ago.
34:09What's that?
34:10And I've got to the axe throwing.
34:12A what?
34:12Axe throwing.
34:13Cool cities.
34:16We have Chimichurri.
34:18Some steak sauce.
34:20Medium.
34:21Beautiful.
34:22Medium work.
34:23That's amazing.
34:23Cheers for here.
34:24Look at that.
34:24Wow.
34:27Do you like a beard?
34:29Yeah.
34:30I'm into the beard.
34:32What happens when you, what's your face doing when the beard comes back?
34:37I have no idea.
34:38It's been 10 years.
34:39I have no idea what's underneath there.
34:42Can I feel your face?
34:43You can absolutely do whatever you want.
34:46I'll warm up my hands.
34:48Oh, what on earth is happening?
34:51Just having a look and a feel.
34:55It's cool.
34:56I'll have a smell.
34:58Oh, God, don't smell it.
35:00Is it smell divine?
35:02Do you want me to come around there?
35:02Are you coming around there?
35:03No, no, I'm going to.
35:05Oh, you filthy beard sniffer.
35:08You all right, Anurag?
35:10You, my friend, have got about three minutes to grow a beard.
35:12Lucky for you, there's an ad break.
35:22Welcome back to Celebsco Dating, where the earlier bout of beard groping has clearly left
35:27Lucinda feeling frisky.
35:29Have you ever got a bit messy with food in the bedroom?
35:31Is that one of your things?
35:33No.
35:33That's not likely.
35:33But I like that that's just come out of nowhere.
35:36Did you just look at that and go, do you know what we should do?
35:38Maybe we should do that another time.
35:43Do you want me to help you here?
35:45Let's start with this.
35:46Oh, my God.
35:47If she pops that on his beard, I'm going to throw up.
35:52So, I suppose I'd better excuse myself.
35:55It is a tough choice, this, because they are both fabulous guys.
35:58There's no doubt about it.
35:59I've had such a great date with both of them.
36:02I need to go and have a good thing about dessert.
36:06So, I, it's a bit of an impossible choice, I've got to say.
36:10Thank you very much.
36:11I really appreciate that.
36:12You smelled of mine as well.
36:15Will I be seeing you again?
36:17I don't know at this point.
36:19Because if I'm never going to see you ever again, I should give you a goodbye kiss.
36:22He's not playing about.
36:23Do you want to do the nose?
36:24Yeah.
36:25Do the nose.
36:26Eskimos, I think.
36:29Right, well, that's really fucking weird.
36:31Let's leave them to it and crack on, shall we?
36:33Fucking hell.
36:38Over to James, who's struggling to get his date with Dottie back on track.
36:41After the revelation, they had friends in common that he's been racking.
36:46Rugby joke.
36:47Can I get the miso card, please?
36:51Can I get the chicken satay, please?
36:54Any allergy?
36:55No.
36:57I always think you'd volunteer.
36:59If you were deadly allergic to nuts, you'd go, by the way, I'm allergic to nuts.
37:02Because we had a gutter, if I'm allergic to nuts.
37:06Do you love nuts?
37:08Love nuts.
37:09Why am I such a child?
37:12Such a child.
37:13Out the gutter.
37:14Yeah.
37:15Bloody hell, Jimbo, leave the bollock jokes to me.
37:17You're trying to show Dottie that you moved on from being a ruck boy.
37:20How many dates have you been on?
37:21Four or five.
37:23Wow.
37:23The dates, I just didn't necessarily feel that, like, energy.
37:27Yeah, he was too busy feeling Dottie's mate's energies.
37:30Look, they were all attractive, it was nice, we've always had a really good conversation.
37:34But I'm trying to be more, like...
37:37Intentional.
37:39Intentional is a great word.
37:40Yeah.
37:40Yeah, yeah.
37:41I think you kind of know when you go on a date with someone...
37:43Within, like, five minutes.
37:45100%.
37:45I mean, I'd hate you for a second, but I'd never give you a few words.
37:53Yeah, my time's up.
37:54Yeah, you're like, can I just let you know, I just wanted to make sure you were as big a
37:57dick as I thought you were.
37:57Can I get this to go, please? Thank you.
38:00I'm not 100% sure she's joking.
38:03Right, let's get back to Lucinda's double date for the big reveal of who she's picked for her dessert course.
38:10Is it nose twitchy viking?
38:13Or magic boy?
38:16I think it's only fair that I bring them both to dessert.
38:20And you shipped off Ken because he wanted an orgy?
38:23Hi.
38:24Hello, hello.
38:26I'm feeling cheeky, I'm feeling mischievous, and I'm ready to create some sparks.
38:30Now, this is what's going to happen.
38:32This is a quickfire game.
38:36Question and answer.
38:38Wait, are we doing a quiz now?
38:39Bit weird, bum up for it.
38:41But who is going to win tonight's special prize, Lucinda?
38:44Will it be Damien the Viking, whose beard she tugged off and rubbed noses with,
38:48or magic man Anorak, who put extra pennies in her purse?
38:52OK, let's quiz.
38:58What colour are my eyes?
39:00Blue.
39:02One to you.
39:03Where am I from in Australia?
39:05Melbourne.
39:06Two.
39:06How many siblings do I have?
39:08Two.
39:09One.
39:10He's absolutely right.
39:11I've got two siblings and we have three siblings.
39:12You're the youngest.
39:15I don't believe it.
39:16The magic man has smashed it 3-0.
39:18But it's all to play for, as unbelievably enough, there's a round two.
39:24What's something that you'd like to say to me that you probably shouldn't?
39:27I would say I would like to see you without the make-up on.
39:32Ah, in the natural.
39:34In the natural way.
39:36Habitat.
39:36Yes.
39:39I'd like to see you without your clothes on.
39:42If you get more scores for that, that is a better answer.
39:47Damo's answer has definitely won this quiz.
39:51And look, cheeky answers.
39:54Far over.
39:55I didn't make the rules.
39:56I didn't make the rules.
39:57I am so sorry.
39:58It's all right.
39:59But Damo, can I sit on your knees, please?
40:02Tell him.
40:03Is it all right?
40:04I've got something to tell you.
40:06Sorry.
40:07The cameras are away.
40:10Oh, bless him.
40:11Pied off at first sight.
40:12But to be fair, he's taken it well.
40:18OK, this is getting a bit weird now.
40:20Two's company, three's eye-gougingly awkward.
40:24OK.
40:24Why bring him back just to sit on the other geezer's lap?
40:27That could be fun.
40:28But thank you.
40:29Thank you so much.
40:30So delightful.
40:32All the best with everything.
40:34Goodbye, magic man.
40:35Now you see him, now you don't.
40:37Oh, look at that.
40:38Straight back on Tinder.
40:39What a ledge.
40:40It's absolutely fine.
40:41No hard feelings.
40:41At the end of the day, it's Lucinda's decision.
40:43So I respect that.
40:45Good on you, mate.
40:46I hope he got that two quid back for his busso.
40:51Right, time to see whether James has managed
40:53to convince Dottie to stay put on their day.
40:59You've got nail varnish.
41:00Oh, yeah.
41:00Can we just notice that?
41:01Talk about this.
41:02No, I noticed it a while ago.
41:03I've always painted my toenails since I was, like, 24.
41:08OK.
41:09Is that a major issue?
41:10It's a little bit of an egg.
41:12More or less of an ick than him having sex
41:14with all your friends, allegedly.
41:16It's a bit odd.
41:17I'll give you that.
41:18It's a bit weird.
41:18Although guys are now starting to wear make-up
41:20and I'm here for him.
41:22Unbelievably, she's actually into it.
41:24All James needs to do now is avoid saying anything weird
41:27and this day is officially back on track.
41:29What's really interesting, I think, with men is,
41:31without being vulgar,
41:33if your hair falls down and you've got a small penis,
41:36one of them you can fix.
41:37A small penis, there is nothing you can do about on earth yet.
41:41Luckily, I've got a lovely head of hair
41:43set on this tiny, dicked bod.
41:45How are you feeling?
41:46I feel really nice.
41:46I am having a nice time.
41:48Yeah, I am.
41:49Same.
41:49That's not one of those when you go, like, fine.
41:52That's my bad last time.
41:53I'm trying to be...
41:53I've been told to be more vulnerable.
41:55That's the last time I ever ask...
41:57I'm having a good time.
41:59Do you know what?
42:00I've never seen Jimbo so flustered.
42:01He must be well into Dottie.
42:03Do you want to get married?
42:04Yeah.
42:05That wasn't me...
42:07That wasn't me asking you.
42:08Yeah, he's so keen, this guy.
42:11Come on, relax.
42:12You can do this, James.
42:13Yes, I do.
42:15Do you want kids?
42:16Oh, no.
42:16Maybe you can't actually do this.
42:18I love kids, yeah.
42:19I've got five...
42:21I call them nibblings.
42:22I've got five nibblings,
42:23and I love them to pieces.
42:24What's a nibbling?
42:25Yeah, it's like...
42:25It's not a sibling.
42:26It's your nibblings.
42:27It's nieces and nephews.
42:28My God.
42:30I love this sentence.
42:33I'm like...
42:34She's not down with the kids, here.
42:36Yeah.
42:36Don't say down with.
42:40Oh, my God.
42:42I'm just trying to help you out.
42:44Spending time with you is such a confidence boost.
42:46I don't...
42:47I could have just stayed at home
42:48and punched myself in the face.
42:50But instead, you came out and did it on TV.
42:54After making Magic Man Anorag disappear
42:56before our very eyes,
42:58Lucinda's wasted no time
42:59getting a mouthful from Deimo.
43:02Are you ready?
43:02Yes.
43:08Good?
43:09How was the delivery?
43:12Delicious.
43:13Ready for some more?
43:15Dessert?
43:16Yeah.
43:22Anyone else feeling uncomfortable watching this?
43:24I say uncomfortable,
43:25I just mean horny.
43:27We're good.
43:27There's a lot.
43:28Hello, someone's pissed off with his £2 tip.
43:31I can see you're having a good time.
43:32Yeah.
43:32But I'm afraid we closed 30 minutes ago.
43:34Is there any chance that I can drop?
43:36Can you bugger up on you?
43:38Absolutely.
43:39Yes.
43:39Yes.
43:40I'll get that.
43:42Aw.
43:43No worries.
43:46Damien's awesome.
43:47Something there.
43:48The little spark.
43:49The ember's grown into a little spark.
43:53Lucinda is absolutely a beautiful woman
43:55and I will remember she's got blue eyes
43:56because I'm not missing out on that again.
44:00I kind of would like to kiss Damien.
44:02Maybe we'll go for a drink and see what happens.
44:05Right.
44:05Shall we go and get a beverage?
44:06Yeah.
44:07Let's do it.
44:07Let's do it.
44:08Why not?
44:08Come on.
44:09Come on.
44:10Well, I like holding your hand.
44:12Makes a change from swinging on his beard.
44:18Well, after a conversational rollercoaster of an evening,
44:21James and Dottie's date is coming to a close.
44:25I tell you honestly, of all the dates I've had,
44:27this is definitely the best vibe I've had.
44:29I'll tell you that.
44:30I appreciate that.
44:31No, I mean, if you were, we'd have to put a thing on it,
44:34but if you don't want to do it again, I'd definitely do it again.
44:36I would like to see you again, yes.
44:38Perfect.
44:38I've had fun.
44:39Perfect.
44:39Yeah.
44:41I've had a great time.
44:42I've had a good time.
44:43Thank you very much.
44:44Right.
44:45Should we roll?
44:45I believe the kids say bounce these days, granddad.
44:49This is you being gentlemanly.
44:50I think I might just be a gentleman by default, I think.
44:53Oh, don't do me in.
44:57Thank you very much for dinner.
44:59That's all right.
44:59That's all right.
45:00I'll walk out.
45:01Don't nick any of the silverware.
45:03That date with Dottie was sensationale.
45:07Sensationale.
45:08Fucking hell.
45:09We covered a load of ground.
45:11It was deep.
45:11It was fun.
45:12It was light.
45:13She took the piss out of me mercilessly,
45:15and that was exactly what I like.
45:16So, yeah, I'm a very happy man.
45:18Oh, yes, James.
45:19I'm so pleased for him.
45:23That was my...
45:24I had a great time.
45:25Likewise.
45:26Thank you so much.
45:29My pleasure.
45:29I hope to see you again.
45:30Yeah, hope so.
45:31See you later.
45:32Bye-bye.
45:33Oh, love is in the air.
45:34I was slightly nervous about asking the question
45:36of whether she wanted to see me again,
45:37but it felt like it was right, so I asked.
45:39Oh, bless him.
45:40He's made up.
45:41I just hope Dottie's feeling it too.
45:43I'm intrigued to get to know him a little bit more.
45:46I think there's more layers to chip away at.
45:49I don't think there is.
45:51I think James' personality is extremely attractive.
45:55Great.
45:55Sounds like Jimbo's met his match.
45:58Aesthetically.
45:59Yes.
46:00There's some room for improvement.
46:03Oh, brutal.
46:04But that might grow.
46:05OK, so good, but not quite sensationale.
46:09Jimbo, you've got work to do.
46:11Tomorrow night!
46:12I would give my left tip to go on this date.
46:15OK.
46:15David's questions get confusing.
46:17Are we trying to figure out who's the tunnel
46:19and who's the train?
46:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
46:23Too much.
46:23PK has some shocking news.
46:25Have you ever kissed on the first date?
46:26I don't usually kiss on the first date.
46:29Shit.
46:30And the agent celebrates success
46:33with Kerry Katona's return.
46:36I don't feel like I've had sex with Paolo.
46:38I feel like I've been made love to.
46:40Slow clap.
46:41It's got a lot quicker than that, actually.
46:45As our celebs.
46:46You never get spots.
46:47I never really get them, but I've got one under the skin.
46:49Is this the flirting that they were training you to do?
46:51Go.
46:52Have I got, like, a skin disease?
46:54It looks nice.
46:55Dating!
46:56Are you going to find love?
46:58What, that's the plan.
46:59To find the next person, really.
47:00So, yeah.
47:01The next person.
47:01The next person.
47:02No, buddy.