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The Live Ghost (1934) is a hilarious vintage comedy short filled with spooky surprises, chaotic adventures, and timeless humor. This classic black and white comedy delivers entertaining performances, funny misunderstandings, and unforgettable moments that perfectly capture the charm of early Hollywood filmmaking.

With its unique mix of comedy and ghostly fun, this legendary short film remains a favorite among fans of classic cinema and vintage comedy entertainment. Enjoy the laughter and nostalgic atmosphere from the golden age of movies.

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Transcript
00:12The End
00:30The End
00:53Hi, Gerald.
00:54Hello, Captain.
00:57What's on your mind?
00:59Oh, same old thing.
01:01Here I am ready to sail.
01:03I need a few more men for the crew.
01:04Well, there's plenty of men here willing to ship.
01:06Yeah, seems none of these mugs want to ride with me.
01:11Hey, listen, pals.
01:13What do you want?
01:14Well, I'm sailing with the tide, and I need a few more hands.
01:19What do you say?
01:22Oh, nothing doing on that old tub of yours.
01:26Why, what's the matter with her?
01:28What's the matter with her?
01:29Why, she's haunted.
01:33All right, you mugs.
01:35When you run out of beer money, come and see me.
01:38I'll be waiting for you.
01:43You'll wait a long time.
01:47Hi, Captain.
01:48Well, where do you think you're going?
01:49Oh, I'm going to have a little teensy-winksy.
01:52Well, make it snap and get back aboard the ship.
01:55Hi, Captain.
02:02Hello, fellas.
02:03Good morning, sir.
02:05What you doing?
02:06We're fishing.
02:08How's things?
02:09Just fine, thank you.
02:11Working?
02:12Yes, sir.
02:13We clean fish over at the fish market.
02:15Do you have to catch them, too?
02:18No, sir.
02:18This is our day off.
02:20Just a little form of recreation.
02:23Say, how do you fellas like a real job?
02:26What doing?
02:27Sailing with me on my ship.
02:29Oh, no, sir.
02:31Thank you, but we don't like the ocean.
02:33Why, what's the matter with it?
02:34Well, I heard the ocean's infatuated with sharks.
02:37Not infatuated.
02:39He means infuriated.
02:43Infatuated.
02:44Say, listen.
02:44How'd you guys like to make some nice, easy money?
02:48What do we have to do?
02:49I'm sailing tonight, and I'm sort of crew.
02:52If you fellas will help me Shanghai some men,
02:55I'll pay you a dollar a head.
02:57Dollar a head?
02:58Right.
02:59Let me see the money.
03:01Here, right here.
03:05We'll do it.
03:06Okay.
03:07Follow me, and I'll show you where they are.
03:09Come on.
03:15This is the joint I was telling you about.
03:17You'll find all the guys I need in there.
03:20At a dollar a head?
03:21Sure.
03:22Dollar a head.
03:24Now, all you have to do is go in and have them chase you out.
03:27Then I'll clunk them.
03:28Where's your clunker?
03:30Wait, I'll find one.
03:37Now, go in and do your stuff.
03:48You ever see that guy again?
03:51No, I haven't seen him for months.
03:52Showed up.
03:53There you go.
04:06What are you going to do with that egg?
04:08I'll bet you, Dollar, you can't put it in your mouth without breaking.
04:12Go on.
04:12Take him on.
04:13You remember when you done it with a billiard ball?
04:16That's a cinch.
04:19Get your buck ready.
04:20Get your buck ready.
04:30Oh, my God.
04:55What you tear it in the heart for?
04:57That's so that you can't spend it unless I'm with you.
05:49All right, boys, let's go.
06:14I'd better go in this time.
06:16They know you by now.
06:19And lay it on heavy.
06:40What are you going to do with that?
06:43I'll bet you a dollar that you can't put this egg in your mouth without breaking it.
06:48Can you do it?
06:49Why, of course.
06:50You do it first?
06:52Then I'll do it.
06:58One more beer.
07:22Why, you mother...
07:27You mother, I'm mad at you!
07:29Stop!
07:30Where are you?
07:31You're right!
07:32Let me get out of here.
07:33You got it!
07:34You got it!
07:35Get it!
07:36You got it!
07:37Get it!
07:37Get it!
07:41Get it!
07:47Get it!
08:06Eight o'clock in all this swell.
08:19Get out of my way!
08:24Snap over! Get on deck!
08:29What happened?
08:31What happened?
08:32Why, you hit me instead of the other fellow.
08:35Now look where we are.
08:37So...
08:38Boys, we've been shed light!
08:42You dirty double-crosser!
08:56Get back!
08:57Get out this rough stuff!
08:59You got any argument with these gentlemen?
09:01When will you get ashore at the next port?
09:04They're friends of mine,
09:05and ain't nothing gonna happen to them while they're on this ship.
09:09Okay, but we'll get even with them for bringing us on this ghost ship.
09:14Quiet!
09:15Quiet!
09:18If anybody ever mentions ghost to me again,
09:22I'll take his head and I'll twist it around,
09:26so that when he's walking north, he'll be looking south.
09:31Do you get me?
09:33Yeah.
09:34I'll get for it!
09:35Everybody!
09:37Quiet!
09:38Quiet!
09:41Quiet!
09:42Where are you from here?
09:43Quiet!
09:43I said road!
09:46What's the matter with it?
09:47Can you see, there's nothing wrong?
09:48Oh, come on here, come on.
09:59Don't forget, we sail with the tide.
10:03Going ashore?
10:05Uh-uh.
10:06What's the matter?
10:07We've docked ten times, and you guys haven't left the boat yet.
10:11You heard what the captain said.
10:13That as long as we were on this boat, nothing could ever happen to us.
10:20Hey, where do you think you're going?
10:22I'm going ashore.
10:24I'm getting a little teensy-weensy.
10:28No, you're not.
10:29You're going to stay right here aboard this ship.
10:31Get in there!
10:32Oh, shit!
10:33Come on, get in there.
10:35Come on.
10:36Hey, are you men going ashore?
10:37No, sir.
10:38Well, see that he don't leave the boat.
10:40I'm holding you responsible.
10:45Might as well sign it.
10:49Would you gentlemen mind leaving the cabin while I undress?
10:52Well, certainly not.
11:00I'm going ashore.
11:12That's better.
11:26No!
11:29Go in and see if he isn't dead yet.
11:36Shh. He's fast asleep.
11:38All right.
11:51We might as well turn in, too.
11:53That's a good idea.
12:07Okay.
12:12Dang, what's a doll like you doing in a joint like this?
12:17Well, I was married to a sailor.
12:19And two years ago, he left me flat.
12:21Too bad.
12:23Yeah, too bad if I ever catch up with him.
12:26How about you and me getting married, eh?
12:29What? Marry you and live on that ghost ship of yours?
12:32Don't use that word, ghost, Jimmy.
12:35There ain't no such thing as a ghost.
12:38Get that other pillow.
12:47Look what I found.
12:49Go!
13:02See if he's all right.
13:15See if he's all right.
13:18Now you've gone and done it.
13:20What are we going to do?
13:21There's only one thing to do.
13:22We've got to get him off this boat before the others get back.
13:25Go down the hole and get a sack, and we'll throw him overboard.
13:29I'm scared.
13:30I can't go with you.
13:32It's better that I stay here so that no one else sees him.
13:35Now, go ahead.
13:36Hurry up and come back.
13:48Maybe I'd better go with you.
13:50Come on.
13:50You can't be safe.
13:54Watch that man.
14:01Uh-oh.
14:02Much better than that.
14:27That'll do.
14:28Poor fellow.
14:30Do you think he's gone to heaven?
14:32I'm afraid not.
14:33I guess probably he went to the other place.
14:36Get me a large piece of coal.
14:39What, do you have to take your own coal with you when you go to the other place?
14:43Why, certainly not.
14:45That's the weight the sack down, so it'll sink.
14:49Now get the coal.
14:50Wait a minute.
14:51Give me that lamp.
14:52You want to leave me here in the dark?
14:54Go ahead and get the coal.
14:57You're always thinking of yourself.
15:08Go ahead, let me start.
15:11Go ahead.
15:13Go ahead.
15:13Go ahead, let me on.
15:20Go ahead.
15:22Go ahead.
15:25Go ahead.
15:28Go ahead.
15:29Go ahead.
15:30Good evening, Norrisht so Sebastian, Augustine Crombie.
15:35All right.
15:52Turn out the lights so no one will see us.
15:54Turn out the lights so no one will see us.
16:01Hold that, and I'll put the body in it.
16:07Now would be a good chance to go back aboard ship
16:11and fix those two guys that shanghaied us.
16:14Yes, well, I want the big guy.
16:45Oh, shh.
16:47Shhh.
16:50Close that door.
16:52Yes.
17:03Oh.
17:06Oh!
17:08Oh!
17:10Oh!
17:15What's the matter?
17:17I just saw a cop star.
17:18Oh, nonsense.
17:20Don't ever let the captain hear you say that.
17:22You know what he said he'd do?
17:24He said he'd turn your head north and south.
17:27I can't help it.
17:28I saw him off the deck.
17:29Lie down and go to sleep.
17:30I can't go to sleep.
17:31I'll have ghost trouble all that long.
17:34All right, I'll take a look.
17:36Now lie down.
17:37You'll act like a three-year-old child.
17:42Shut up.
17:44Even if there was a ghost, there's nothing to be afraid of.
17:50Shh.
17:51Come on now.
18:17Ghost, you make me sick.
18:19I told you there wasn't anyone out there.
18:26You have to catch my death of coal looking for ghost.
18:30You're getting to be absolutely childish.
18:35Some of these days, you're going to let your imagination run amok.
18:41In the first place, there's no such thing as a ghost.
18:46You heard what the captain said.
18:56He...
18:58I heard what thesticks are at.
19:03We're not going to.
19:04Roy, where's the man?
19:12I'm going to.
19:14I'm going to I'm going to hit you.
19:23Chocolate, we're going to.
19:24Went down and save you my money.
19:26Ain't nothing,é­š, man.
19:26I'm not going to.
19:26I'm not going to do anything.
19:40Hiya, Captain. What's going on here?
19:44Oh, my husband.
19:47Dear old Major.
19:49Don't lazy me.
19:51I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you, old guy.
19:58Oh, Captain. I'm so glad you came back.
20:02Why, what's the matter? We just saw a ghost.
20:12Did you see it, too?
20:14Uh-uh.
20:15What did you see?
20:16I saw a ghost.
20:17We were...
20:23Now get to bed.
20:35Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.
20:38Well, I could tell that.
20:39Well, I'm so glad you came back.
20:46I'm so glad you came back.
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