- 1 day ago
Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 19
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:04Sounds to me as if someone's let go of his rage
00:06Maybe I have
00:07Well, I haven't
00:09Felicia took matters into her own hands
00:12You want me to call off the wedding? I'll do it
00:14I'll do whatever you want
00:15Carl put the ball in Susan's court
00:17With your DUI charge
00:19It could get ugly
00:20While Andrew tried to take Brie to court
00:22There's a father
00:23He's a kid
00:24Gabrielle Carlos took the baby
00:26The papers aren't valid anymore
00:27Do you really want to leave this beautiful little girl
00:30With that white trash freak show?
00:31And ran with it
00:36Louisa Pate believed in the power of shame
00:39As a teacher, she had found
00:41The best way to control unruly students
00:43Was to instill a strong sense of shame
00:46In their parents
00:49I left Trisha alone with the school hamster
00:51For only five minutes
00:54In this box
00:55Is all that's left of patches
00:59For show and tell
01:01Timmy decided to bring in something
01:03From your husband's collection
01:04Of Nazi memorabilia
01:08Billy's been threatening
01:09To beat up the other kids
01:11For their milk money
01:11We found the proceeds
01:13In his cubby
01:17Of course
01:17Mrs. Pate also knew
01:19When it came to unruly children
01:21Some parents
01:22Had more reason
01:23To be ashamed
01:24Than others
01:26So, um
01:27Your message said that
01:29Parker had been involved
01:30In some sort of
01:31Serious incident
01:33What kind of incident?
01:35Yesterday afternoon
01:36Parker offered a cookie
01:37To Cindy Lou Peoples
01:38If she would show him her
01:39Vagina
01:43What kind of cookie?
01:44What does that matter?
01:46Oh, it doesn't
01:47I'm just stalling
01:48Because I'm completely mortified
01:50The kids were in a broom closet
01:52Our janitor walked in on them
01:53Just as Cindy was lifting up
01:54Her pinafore
01:55Oh, my goodness
01:56I'm sure you've noticed
01:58How obsessive Parker can be
01:59A certain subject
02:00Will catch his interest
02:01And that's all he'll talk about
02:02For weeks and weeks
02:03Oh, right
02:03That happened with dinosaurs
02:04Oh, yes
02:05We all remember his dinosaur phase
02:07More fondly now than ever
02:10Mm-hmm
02:10So you think that now
02:12He's obsessed with
02:14What's underneath the pinafore
02:16Yes
02:16Look
02:18I think he's just developed
02:20A normal curiosity
02:20About the human body
02:22You need to talk to him
02:23Remind him what's appropriate
02:25And what isn't
02:27Of course
02:28I will talk to him
02:29I'll talk to him
02:29Until I'm blue in the face
02:30I promise
02:32Take care
02:33Yes
02:34Louisa Pate believed
02:35In the power of shame
02:37She also believed
02:38When someone has that power
02:41So, Mrs. Peoples
02:42You'll never guess
02:43What your daughter
02:44Is willing to do
02:45For a ginger snap
02:46It's a shame
02:47Not to use it
03:03I'll talk to you
03:04I'll talk to you
03:33It had been six weeks since Andrew Vandekamp had declared war on his mother, Brie.
03:40The final battle was about to be waged at the Fairview County Courthouse.
03:45Brie knew it was about to get bloody.
03:47What she didn't know was, the Calvary was on its way.
03:54Brie?
03:55Whether she wanted them there or not.
03:58Eleanor!
03:58Oh, thank God I found you. This place is a maze.
04:01What are you doing here?
04:03Well, your father and I got a call last night from Danielle, and she said that Andrew was taking you
04:08to court.
04:10I mean, to say that we were shocked would be an understatement.
04:13Hello. I'm Eleanor Mason, Brie's stepmother.
04:16You're the lawyer. We should talk.
04:18Uh, no. I'm not her lawyer.
04:20Good. The hair had me worried.
04:23Peter is Mom's sponsor from AA.
04:25Oh, sweetie.
04:27Oh, since when are you in AA?
04:30It's a recent development. Where's Dad?
04:32In chambers with the judge.
04:34What? Why?
04:36Everything is fine. The judge agreed to a postponement.
04:40Oh, thank God.
04:42Luckily, he remembered me. I spoke once in his law school.
04:44Pardon me, sir. I'm your daughter's lawyer.
04:47Just so you know, we've been waiting for this hearing for weeks.
04:50Son, I've been an attorney for 45 years.
04:53You and I both know how these cases can turn into public spectacles.
04:56Our family is perfectly capable of handling this in-house.
05:02Dad, you don't understand. This has gotten really ugly.
05:05That's why we're here.
05:06We're going to put this family back together.
05:10Whatever it takes.
05:16And that's when Mr. and Mrs. Solis,
05:19fearing for the welfare of this helpless child,
05:22fled the hospital.
05:23You mean they kidnapped her?
05:26Well, technically that's true,
05:28but given the situation that led up to the rescue...
05:31Kidnapping?
05:34Your Honor, yes.
05:36In retrospect, the plan was a little bit rash,
05:38not entirely well thought out.
05:40Idiotic.
05:40Can we object to that?
05:42Shh.
05:43But the child is safe, Your Honor,
05:45and all we ask the court is to allow baby Lily
05:48a lifetime of the care and love
05:51she has been receiving from the Solisis.
05:57As much as your story tugs at my heart,
06:00there is the issue of parental rights.
06:02What does the state have to say about this?
06:04We have located the biological father,
06:08Mr. Dale Helm.
06:09Unfortunately, circumstances require that he be out of town.
06:13He's in Fort Lauderdale today.
06:14On business?
06:16Spring break, actually.
06:18Mr. Helm is a high school student.
06:20Charming.
06:21In between keg stands,
06:23did the father happen to mention
06:24if he plans to waive parental rights?
06:26I've left a number of voicemails,
06:28but the only response I've gotten is a text message
06:31that says this blows his mind
06:34and he's extremely bummed out.
06:42All right.
06:43Mr. and Mrs. Solis,
06:46since you actually want Lily,
06:48it seems you're the lesser of two evils.
06:50I'm granting you temporary custody
06:53until we can get a straight answer from the birth father.
06:56Thank you, Your Honor.
06:58In the meantime,
06:59try not to steal any more babies.
07:01Oh, we just needed the one.
07:11Sweetie?
07:13Um, could you put the crayons down for a second?
07:15We need to talk.
07:17So, I spoke to your teacher today
07:19and she told me about the cookie deal
07:24you made with Cindy Lou.
07:26Oh.
07:27Are you mad?
07:28No.
07:29Not exactly.
07:30I'm just...
07:31I'm trying to understand why you...
07:34did that.
07:36Tommy Keenan told me babies come from down there.
07:38It doesn't sound right to me.
07:41Well,
07:42actually, he's kind of right.
07:44He's got the concept down.
07:45That's weird.
07:47How's the baby getting there?
07:55Daddy will be home from his business trip
07:58in a few days.
07:59Why don't you wait for him?
08:01Okay.
08:02Okay.
08:04For him,
08:05I can ask Tommy's brother.
08:06He's 14
08:07and he knows everything.
08:13And then the mommy and the daddy,
08:14because they love each other so much,
08:16they hug
08:18real tight
08:20and a seed
08:22is magically implanted
08:24and nine months later,
08:26a baby is born.
08:27Here.
08:28What kind of seed?
08:30Oh,
08:31that's not important.
08:33I don't believe you.
08:36Parker,
08:37I'm your mother.
08:38Mothers don't lie to their sons.
08:41Now go wash your hands
08:42or Santa's not going to bring you anything for Christmas.
08:51I just saw Edie drive off.
08:53How long is she going to be gone?
08:54I don't know.
08:55She just went to show her house.
08:56Move.
08:59What's the problem?
09:00You mauled me in Edie's bed last night.
09:03I think that deserves a conversation.
09:05What's there to talk about?
09:07I'm just a fool in love.
09:08Oh,
09:08no,
09:09you don't mean that.
09:11Yes,
09:11I do.
09:12Look,
09:13I realize my timing's a little off.
09:15A little?
09:17The helium hasn't even gone out of the balloons
09:19from your engagement party.
09:22Okay,
09:23when are you going to tell Edie?
09:24Tell her what?
09:25That the wedding's off.
09:26Is it?
09:27Well, isn't it?
09:27It's up to you.
09:29Are you saying
09:31that you're going to go through
09:32with this wedding
09:33unless I tell you not to?
09:35Just give me a commitment,
09:36Susie Q,
09:37and I'll put a bullet in Edie.
09:38This is insane.
09:40Come on.
09:43All this can be yours again.
09:45Just say the word,
09:48and I let go.
09:49Oh,
09:49no,
09:50don't you dare.
09:51You know you want me to.
09:53Just say it,
09:54Susie Q.
09:55You're...
09:57sick!
10:02Zach,
10:03I'm going to the drugstore.
10:04I'll be back in 20 minutes.
10:07Whoa!
10:08Oh!
10:09Jeez.
10:14Paul!
10:15Paul!
10:26I was making cookies
10:28and I heard the most sickening thud.
10:30Are you okay?
10:32There's...
10:33shortening on my doorstep.
10:36Shortening?
10:37That's the last thing
10:38you'd want on your front porch.
10:40It's meant for baking.
10:54She's so adorable
10:56and I just love the name Lily.
10:58It was my grandmother's name.
10:59So how are you holding up?
11:00You must be exhausted.
11:02You know,
11:02I'm a little tired,
11:03but it's not too bad.
11:04Oh,
11:04wait a couple months.
11:05She'll start sleeping through the night.
11:06No, honey, please.
11:07Do I look like a masochist?
11:09First thing tomorrow,
11:09I'm hiring a nanny
11:10and a night nurse.
11:12No,
11:12we're not.
11:14My husband,
11:15the comedian.
11:16I'm serious.
11:17I don't want some stranger
11:17raising our baby.
11:20Well,
11:21you guys are busy.
11:22We should go.
11:23No, it's okay.
11:23I'll win this battle later.
11:25We are not gonna be
11:26some yuppie couple
11:27pawning off our kid
11:28on other people.
11:29End of discussion.
11:31Yeah,
11:32you should go.
11:33Okay.
11:33Bye.
11:34Good luck.
11:40Put down the burrito.
11:44What is all this crap
11:45about me not getting help?
11:46Look,
11:47a brand new baby
11:47needs to bond
11:48with its mother.
11:49The church knows it.
11:50Science knows it.
11:51Nature knows it.
11:52We have the money.
11:53What is wrong
11:53with getting a little help?
11:54Then I'll be able
11:55to relax once in a while
11:56and I'll be able
11:57to be a better mother.
11:58You want to be
11:59a better mother?
11:59Do what my mama did.
12:01Make sacrifices.
12:02My mama worked her fingers
12:03to the bone for me.
12:05That's what put her
12:05in an early grave.
12:10Well,
12:11that and the
12:11hit and run thing.
12:20Look,
12:21I don't know
12:21why you want
12:22to be emancipated
12:23and I don't know
12:24what you've been doing
12:24to drive him crazy.
12:26Bottom line,
12:27it's over.
12:28It's now time
12:29for you two
12:30to kiss and make up.
12:33And just how
12:35are we supposed
12:35to do that?
12:37Here's a thought.
12:39Just look each other
12:40in the eye
12:40and say,
12:41I forgive you.
12:46That's your solution?
12:48It's actually a technique
12:49invented by this
12:50Dutch therapist.
12:51I saw him on TV.
12:53He says if you
12:54verbalize forgiveness,
12:55the brain can trick
12:56the heart
12:57into letting go
12:58of resentment.
12:59It really works.
13:00I did it
13:00with our cleaning lady.
13:04I'm sorry, Dad,
13:05but I think
13:05my relationship
13:06with Andrew
13:06is just a bit
13:07more complicated
13:08than...
13:08Would it kill you
13:09to at least try?
13:11I'll do it.
13:13For you, Grandpa.
13:14That's my boy.
13:16Bree.
13:20Fine.
13:22Yes.
13:23So,
13:24who goes first?
13:25Either or.
13:26Doesn't matter.
13:30Mom,
13:31I forgive you.
13:33Andrew,
13:35I forgive you.
13:38That wasn't so hard,
13:40was it?
13:41Now,
13:41don't expect to feel
13:42differently right away.
13:43It takes a while.
13:45It took me a week
13:46to forgive Esperanza.
13:47But now she's
13:48like family again.
13:49Family who stole from us.
13:51So let's get back
13:52to the way we were
13:53and forget all this
13:54nonsense about
13:56emancipation.
14:00Um...
14:02Well,
14:03Grandpa,
14:03I'm still gonna need
14:04my trust fund.
14:06You see,
14:06I can't live in a place
14:08where I don't feel safe.
14:11What are you talking about?
14:14Could you live with
14:15a woman who hits you?
14:18Bree!
14:19I slapped him once
14:20and he deserved it.
14:21I just asked her
14:22to stop drinking.
14:23You were drinking?
14:24She's an AA.
14:25Her sponsor
14:26has long hair.
14:27Andrew,
14:28I find your concern
14:29ironic given how
14:30tanked you were
14:31when you ran over
14:32our neighbor's mother
14:33with your car.
14:34Is she okay?
14:35She's dead.
14:37Well,
14:38Mom watched
14:39as her boyfriend
14:40committed suicide.
14:41And he was the same
14:42guy who killed Dad.
14:44Andrew,
14:44falsely accused me
14:46of molestation
14:48in a mall.
14:54You know the technique
14:55works best
14:56if you don't talk
14:56right away.
15:01Okay,
15:02let's go.
15:03I don't want to be
15:03late for the movie.
15:04Oh,
15:04those are pretty.
15:05Who sent those?
15:08What?
15:10Say the word
15:11and I'm yours.
15:12Love, Carl.
15:14Mom,
15:14I knew this would
15:15happen when you
15:15started hanging
15:15around together.
15:16All of your old
15:17feelings resurfacing.
15:18No,
15:18his feelings.
15:19He's the one
15:20with the feelings,
15:20not me.
15:22Uh-huh.
15:22Okay,
15:23don't not hum me.
15:24You're not old
15:25enough to do that.
15:26Oh, no?
15:27Well,
15:27how do you like this?
15:28I'm not going to
15:28go to the movies
15:28with you.
15:29You're going to
15:30make me go by myself?
15:31Well,
15:31you could always
15:31ask Dad to go.
15:32In fact,
15:33if you love him so much,
15:34why don't you marry him?
15:35Oh, wait,
15:35you already did.
15:36Twice.
16:06You know,
16:07I think we're going
16:07to need some napkins
16:08with this.
16:09Oh, okay.
16:10I'll go back.
16:11Thanks.
16:12My ex-boyfriend's here.
16:13If he sees me alone,
16:14I'll die.
16:15I'm begging you,
16:15please act like you know me.
16:18Susan?
16:18Hey.
16:19Mike,
16:20hi.
16:20What a surprise.
16:22How are you?
16:23Good.
16:26Oh, God,
16:27I'm being so rude.
16:29Mike,
16:30I want you to meet...
16:33Orson Hodge.
16:35Nice to meet you, Mike.
16:38Wow,
16:39can't believe
16:39I'm finally seeing
16:40the man himself
16:41in the flesh.
16:44So,
16:45how'd you two meet?
16:47Go.
16:48I've been a dentist
16:49for years.
16:51but last week
16:52I was looking
16:53in her mouth
16:53and decided
16:54to stick my tongue
16:54in it.
17:00I'll see you soon.
17:05Thank you so much
17:06for helping me out.
17:07Hey,
17:08I'm great
17:08in a crisis.
17:09Well,
17:09I definitely
17:10picked the right person
17:11to sit next to.
17:14Actually,
17:15is this seat taken?
17:17No.
17:18Okay.
17:19You can share
17:19my popcorn.
17:22Um,
17:23Susan,
17:24this is Becky.
17:26I'll probably be
17:27sharing her popcorn.
17:31I'll just
17:32wait till the lights
17:33go out
17:42while I get
17:43this going.
17:43Can you bring
17:43out the buns?
17:50The hell?
17:51You all right?
17:57This isn't lighter fluid.
17:58It's gasoline.
17:59What?
18:01How'd that get in there?
18:03How do you think?
18:09Something smells
18:10good over there.
18:14I don't understand.
18:16Is she trying
18:16to kill you?
18:17No,
18:18she's trying
18:18to piss me off.
18:20Why?
18:21I'm not sure yet.
18:23I do know
18:23I'm not going
18:24to play along.
18:26You've got plenty
18:26of burgers
18:27if you want
18:27to pop over.
18:29And bring
18:30your appetite.
18:31I don't know.
18:41Gabby the baby.
18:45No,
18:46I got up twice already.
18:47It's your turn.
18:48Gabby,
18:49I have several
18:50job interviews tomorrow.
18:51I need my sleep.
18:53What about my sleep?
18:58You sleep
18:59when the baby sleeps?
19:01Every 40 minutes?
19:02When am I supposed
19:03to have a life?
19:05What are you whining
19:06about?
19:07Xiaomei does
19:08all the housework
19:08around here.
19:09All you have to do
19:09is take care
19:10of the baby.
19:11Fine, fine, fine!
19:18Psst, Xiaomei.
19:19Psst, wake up.
19:21Mrs. Suisse?
19:24Is something wrong?
19:25The baby won't
19:26stop crying
19:26and I haven't slept
19:27for two days.
19:28Will you please
19:28take Lily for a while?
19:31Oh, come on.
19:32I won't make you
19:32do windows tomorrow.
19:35Okay.
19:37What do I do?
19:38Well, she's a baby.
19:39You hold her.
19:41And bounce her.
19:42And, I don't know,
19:43maybe sing a little something.
19:45Oh, and Xiaomei,
19:49Mr. Suisse
19:50does not need
19:51to know about this, okay?
19:52Okay.
19:53Okay.
20:00Yeah, honey,
20:00can you take that
20:01downstairs?
20:12Eleanor,
20:12I thought you'd
20:13gone to bed.
20:13Oh, no, not yet.
20:14I had to do my hair now.
20:16There's never enough
20:17time in the morning.
20:19Now, sit.
20:20There's something
20:21I have to discuss
20:21with you.
20:23Your father and I
20:24have decided
20:25to take Andrew
20:26back to Rhode Island
20:26with us.
20:28Really?
20:30And whose idea
20:31was that?
20:32Andrew's.
20:33But Henry and I
20:34feel it's the right
20:35thing to do.
20:39Absolutely not.
20:44If we leave him here,
20:45the two of you
20:46will wind up in court,
20:47and I'm not going
20:48to allow that.
20:49Do you really think
20:51that I am enjoying
20:52airing my dirty laundry
20:53in public?
20:55This whole situation
20:56is mortifying.
20:58But I can't back down
20:59because he is my son,
21:00and I need more time
21:02to get through to him.
21:03You never give up.
21:06I've always admired
21:08that about you.
21:09When you were a kid,
21:11you used to make
21:12these peanut butter
21:13cookies that were
21:14god-awful.
21:15But you kept
21:16baking them,
21:17and you kept
21:18forcing everyone
21:19to eat them.
21:21You were so
21:22determined to get
21:23them right.
21:25My mother didn't
21:26think they were
21:26awful.
21:28When I made
21:28those same cookies
21:29for her,
21:30she loved them.
21:32Well, some people
21:33praise children even
21:35when they don't
21:35deserve it.
21:36Oh, but not you.
21:38With you, I had
21:39to work for every
21:40kind word I ever
21:41got.
21:41Well, you always
21:42resented me because
21:43of my high standards.
21:44No.
21:46I resented you
21:47because those were
21:48kick-ass peanut
21:49butter cookies.
21:53We're taking Andrew.
21:56Eleanor, please.
21:57He hates you, Bree.
21:59Your own son.
22:02You know, part of
22:04being an adult is
22:05admitting that you
22:07failed and then
22:08moving on with
22:10grace.
22:14Do you really think
22:16that I'm a failure
22:17as a parent?
22:19I'd love to lie and
22:21say something
22:21supportive, but as
22:23you pointed out, that
22:24was more your mother's
22:25thing.
22:40I'm so sorry.
22:41I just took a break.
22:43Oh, no, Xiaomei, that's
22:43okay.
22:44That's okay.
22:44I know you were up all
22:45night with the baby, and
22:46I really appreciate it.
22:48You know, I'm very
22:49grateful for everything
22:50you've been doing for
22:51Lily.
22:51So to thank you, I
22:53bought you a gift
22:54certificate to my spa,
22:55then you can take a
22:56whole day off and
22:57just really pamper
22:57yourself.
22:58Really?
23:03Oh, you're welcome.
23:04All right, Lily needs
23:05to be bathed and put
23:05to bed.
23:06I don't want to miss
23:07my yoga class.
23:08Hi.
23:10Hi, pretty girl.
23:11Oh, yes, Mommy
23:12has to go.
23:14Mommy has to go so
23:15she can stay pretty
23:16and thin, and you
23:17can be proud of her.
23:21Mother, her to such
23:22a blessing.
23:23I hope you get to
23:24experience it one day.
23:32Because it's not a
23:33big deal.
23:33It's not a big deal.
23:34It's not that far away.
23:35Right.
23:36Oh, it's not that far
23:37away?
23:37Whatever, okay?
23:38You didn't even care
23:39to tell me before.
23:40Fine.
23:46Justin, what happened?
23:47Andrew just told me he's
23:48moving in with his
23:49grandparents.
23:51They live so far away,
23:53I'm never going to see
23:53him anymore.
23:54I'm so sorry.
23:55I know that you're
23:56good friends.
23:59We're more than friends,
24:00Mrs. Vandekamp.
24:03I love him.
24:06Oh.
24:09Why?
24:11Why?
24:12Yes, I'd be curious to
24:13know just what it is you
24:15see in him.
24:18Well, when my parents
24:19first heard I was gay,
24:20they kicked me out.
24:22They said I had debased
24:23the entire family, and
24:25that they couldn't love me
24:26anymore until I changed.
24:29But Andrew, he said that
24:31I should be ashamed of
24:32them, because they were too
24:34stupid to know how great I
24:35was.
24:37That's the thing about
24:38Andrew.
24:39It doesn't take crap from
24:40anyone.
24:41How can you not love
24:41someone like that?
24:45You know, it never ceases
24:47to amaze me how people can
24:48turn their backs on their
24:49own family.
24:50I mean, but it happens
24:51every day, doesn't it?
24:53Yes.
24:55You know, Justin, if you
24:56would be willing to help,
24:58I'm pretty sure that I could
24:59find a way to keep Andrew
25:00from moving.
25:02What do you say?
25:09I'm home.
25:10Oh, hi.
25:11Hey, Mrs. McCluskey.
25:14So, how did everything go?
25:16Fine.
25:18Penny fussed a bit.
25:19I think her molars are
25:20coming in.
25:21Oh.
25:22The twins fought over the
25:23remote.
25:23There's nothing new there.
25:24No.
25:25Here's the big news.
25:26Parker offered me a
25:27fudge-a-cold if I would
25:28show him my vagina.
25:34Oh, good God, Lynette.
25:36Relax.
25:36I didn't do it.
25:37I just got this out of the
25:37freezer a second ago.
25:39Yeah, of course.
25:40No, sorry.
25:41Apparently, Parker wanted to
25:42put a sunflower seed inside me
25:43and see if a baby would grow.
25:45Where do kids get this stuff?
25:47Oh, that was me.
25:49He was asking about the
25:50birds and the bees, and I
25:52fudged a few of the details.
25:56Well, he's only seven years
25:58old.
25:58I don't think he needs to
25:59know everything yet.
26:01I don't want to rob him of
26:03his innocence.
26:04Well, now, that's where
26:05you're wrong.
26:05You get them when they're
26:07young.
26:08Give them all the gory
26:09details, and then when
26:11they're good and disgusted,
26:12you shame them.
26:14Excuse me?
26:15You tell them sex is dirty
26:17and wrong, and he shouldn't
26:18talk about it, and if he does,
26:20he's going straight to hell.
26:20Oh, that is ridiculous.
26:24You've spoken like a true
26:25liberal idiot.
26:26No, I'm not going to shame
26:28my son.
26:29I'm telling you, it works.
26:31It keeps people in their
26:32place, it keeps parents from
26:34being humiliated, and it keeps
26:36me from having to spend the
26:38afternoon talking about my
26:39woo-woo.
26:49In your haste to duck out
26:51before the credits roll, you...
26:52Oh, my God.
26:54Oh, thank you so much.
26:56I stuck a card in there just
26:58in case you ever wanted to
26:59purposely sit next to me in a
27:01movie.
27:02Orson, I'm flattered.
27:04Really.
27:06You don't want to date me.
27:08I mean, my love life is just
27:09so complicated right now.
27:11Well, you know, I won't bore
27:13you with the details.
27:15So the ex-boyfriend has no
27:16idea you're secretly married
27:18to the ex-husband, who still
27:19loves you, but unless you give
27:21him a reason not to, is going
27:23to marry the neighborhood
27:23slut.
27:24Did I call Edie a slut?
27:26Well, that's overstating it.
27:27Edie's not a slut.
27:28She's just popular with
27:30indiscriminate men.
27:32Anyway, yes, those are the
27:34relevant players.
27:35Okay.
27:35Now, I'm absolutely horrified
27:36that I'm about to say what I'm
27:37about to say, but there's
27:38nobody else I can talk to who
27:40won't judge me, and since you're
27:41a complete stranger, I'll
27:42probably never see you again
27:43unless I randomly run into you
27:44on the street, in which case
27:45you'll ignore me because you
27:46know how crazy I am.
27:49So here goes.
27:52I'm having feelings for Carl
27:54again.
27:57Does that make me a terrible
27:58person?
28:00You want my unvarnished opinion?
28:03Lay it on me.
28:04It doesn't make you a terrible
28:06person, but it does make you a,
28:09well, a sucker.
28:11This Carl's a coward.
28:13He wants you to be the heavy and
28:14take all the responsibility.
28:16If you're having feelings for a guy
28:17like that, I say run far, far away.
28:19He lives three houses down.
28:22Hmm.
28:23Well, good luck to you then.
28:27But like I said, if you're
28:29interested in a tooth whitening,
28:31my card's still in your wallet.
28:40Chaumé!
28:43Chaumé!
28:44I'm late to meet Mrs. Vandekamp.
28:47I'll be back in a little while.
28:57I'm so sorry I'm late.
28:59Oh, honey, it's all right.
29:00I mean, with the new baby at home,
29:01I'm surprised you made it at all.
29:04Oh, I'll have a drink.
29:05Anything with an umbrella.
29:09So tell me, how are you doing?
29:11I mean, your entire world must be
29:13turned upside down.
29:14I must be exhausted.
29:16You know, it's been challenging,
29:18but I soldier on.
29:20So what about you?
29:21You look so rested.
29:22I just got a massage at Misty Spring.
29:24Things have been a little tense at home,
29:26and I needed an hour to relax.
29:28Not for you.
29:29I love that spa.
29:31Oh, by the way, while I was there,
29:33I saw your housekeeper.
29:35Chaumé?
29:37Oh, no.
29:38You must be mistaken.
29:40I just left her.
29:40She's at home working.
29:42Are you sure?
29:42I was talking to her in the steam room
29:44for about 20 minutes.
29:45What?
29:46Yeah, apparently you gave her
29:47a gift certificate.
29:58Misty!
29:59Misty, Mom, it's coming!
30:03Oh, thank God.
30:04Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
30:07I'm never going to leave you again.
30:15I'm home.
30:18My interview got canceled.
30:20Oh, that's my little girl.
30:23Your chakra lining up nice for Mommy?
30:28That's my girl.
30:30Hey, let me take her off your chest
30:32so you can do your yoga.
30:33No, no, no, no.
30:34We're doing just fine.
30:36Aren't we, honey?
30:51Right, Jill has got me auditioning wedding bands,
30:53and I'm clueless about Edie's taste in music.
30:56What do you think of these guys?
30:58That's why you brought me down here?
30:59Carl, you made it sound like it was an emergency.
31:02It is!
31:03I need to have somebody to dance with
31:04so I can see if these guys have the power
31:06to help me get my groove on.
31:08Carl!
31:11Oh, that's right.
31:12You like it laid back and romantic, don't you?
31:15Guys, can we play something mellow?
31:17No, don't bother, because I'm going.
31:19See you.
31:25That was not a coincidence.
31:27Yes.
31:30This was playing the night we first kissed.
31:33It's our song.
31:34Remember?
31:35I remember.
31:37I also remember that you are planning on marrying someone else.
31:40Not if you don't want me to.
31:43Come on, Susie Q.
31:44I can see you still have feelings for me,
31:47and I know I have never stopped loving you.
31:50You want the truth?
31:51I don't know how I feel about you,
31:53but I keep looking at you,
31:54trying to see if you've changed,
31:56if you've grown up.
31:57You know what I see?
31:59I see the same weak coward
32:01that walked out on me three years ago.
32:04Of course I've changed.
32:06I don't think so.
32:09So I think you should probably stay with Edie.
32:17And the band is good.
32:19You should hire them.
32:23Can't you see?
32:26Can't you see me?
32:49Can't you see me?
32:53What the hell?
32:58For God's sakes.
32:59What the hell are you doing in there?
33:01This is my house.
33:02What are you doing?
33:03We're tenting for termites.
33:04We've got a work order.
33:05Signed by who?
33:08I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.
33:11They're supposed to be tenting my house.
33:13I must have written the address down wrong.
33:17Muchachos, mi casa esta aquÃ.
33:20You've taken it too far this time.
33:22These little mind games are going to stop right now.
33:26If they don't, what you're going to do?
33:29Blow out your brains like your wife did.
33:33Hey, you okay?
33:36Did you hear that?
33:38He assaulted me for an honest mistake.
33:41God knows what would have happened if you hadn't been here.
33:43Let go.
33:45Come on.
33:46Come on.
33:48Okay?
33:54I talked to Mrs. McCluskey.
33:57And for God's sakes, Parker, you can't ask people things like that.
34:01Why?
34:02Because it's rude.
34:05I said please.
34:07It doesn't matter.
34:08You've got to quit talking to people about their bodies and about where, you know, babies come from.
34:15Why?
34:16Because it's not an appropriate subject.
34:20Why?
34:21Because it's not.
34:23Why?
34:24Because it's dirty and wrong and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
34:27That's why.
34:30In that moment, Lynette saw a look on her son's face she had never seen before.
34:36And she thought of the look he had on his face when he had become obsessed with dinosaurs,
34:41obsessed with baseball, and obsessed with trains.
34:46And it occurred to Lynette she didn't need to shame her son.
34:51All he needed was a brand new obsession.
34:56I thought you said we couldn't have a puppy.
34:58Well, turns out we really needed one.
35:03You can go and play.
35:04And though she didn't know it at the time, it would be another three years before Parker Scavo would ever
35:11ask about sex again.
35:17Carl, what's going on?
35:20I'm on my way to a motel.
35:21I just want to let you know that the wedding is off.
35:25It is?
35:26I told Edie I wasn't in love with her.
35:28At least not the way that she deserves.
35:32Wow.
35:35Why did you change your mind?
35:36I mean, I hope it wasn't because of me, because I told-
35:38It wasn't for you.
35:41No?
35:42You were right.
35:44I have been a coward.
35:46I was a coward three years ago when I walked out on the two most important people in my life.
35:51And I was being a coward with Edie.
35:54I need to even consider marrying her when I know what real passion and real love feels like.
36:05Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know.
36:10Carl.
36:14You look pretty beat up.
36:18Why-why don't you-why don't you come in and-we'll crack open a bottle of wine.
36:23Come on.
36:30All right, here we go. This is the last of Andrew's things. Once we tape up these boxes, we can
36:35start loading the car.
36:36I'm proud of you, Bree. You're being awfully big about this.
36:39Well, I have to admit I was a bit upset at first, but then it hit me. You're his grandparents.
36:46You should bond. Get to know the real Andrew.
36:50Oh, Dad, I-I forgot to warn you. These are some of Andrew's adult videos. I don't approve, but boys
36:55will be boys.
36:59Oh, Henry, stop looking at that filth.
37:02I-I-I don't get it. Where are the women?
37:07What are you talking about?
37:08This is all just a bunch of naked men.
37:12Sweet mother of God, what the hell are they doing?
37:16I don't know. I-I don't know what I'm looking at.
37:19Henry?
37:19This is pornography for homosexuals.
37:22Oh, shoot. I wish you hadn't gone through that.
37:25Now we have to have an unpleasant conversation, and we were having such a nice time.
37:29Bree, is-is Andrew gay?
37:33Oh, Dad, Andrew hates labels. I'm sure it's just a phase.
37:37Excuse me, but he has a magazine titled Leather Daddy's In Love that does not sound like a phase to
37:43me.
37:44Maybe not, but it's no longer my concern now that he'll be living with you.
37:51We have to have a serious talk.
37:54Let's don't freak out about this. The Dutch therapist said-
37:58Forget the Dutch therapist in the kitchen!
38:02Now!
38:12Hey, where's Grandma and Grandpa? I need to start loading up my stuff.
38:16Oh, they, uh, they already left.
38:18Wait, they left? Without me?
38:21Ah, yeah, they wrote you a letter.
38:29It seems they came across some personal items of yours that, um, upset them.
38:33They're taking away my trust fund?
38:36They can't do that!
38:37Well, actually, they can. I mean, it's their money to dispense with as they see fit.
38:43I know it doesn't seem fair, but...
38:45No, it's really unfair. In fact, it sucks.
38:49What am I supposed to do now?
38:51Well, now that you can't afford to become emancipated, I guess you're gonna have to stay here with me.
38:57Andrew, we can make this work.
39:00We just have to let go of our anger.
39:04Oh.
39:09Oh, I, um, had a chance to have a nice chat with Justin the other day.
39:13He really seems very sweet.
39:15I've invited him over for dinner tonight. I hope you don't mind.
39:28Now I wish I hadn't torched our wedding photos.
39:33Who would have thought, after everything that's happened, that we would have ended up back here again?
39:38It's been one hell of a ride, huh?
39:41Yeah.
39:41Yeah.
39:44So how do you feel now?
39:46About us?
39:49I feel good.
39:51I feel happy.
39:53You're not having second thoughts?
39:56I can't believe you actually want to talk about feelings. You really have changed.
40:01Yeah, this is the new Carl, baby. He's not afraid to cry.
40:09Hello?
40:11Oh, hi, Edie.
40:14Uh, yeah, he's here.
40:17Hold on. How does she know you're here?
40:22Hi.
40:25Yeah, I just came by to help Julie with her civics homework.
40:29Uh-huh.
40:31Okay, I'll take care of it. What kind of juice do you want?
40:35Right, bye, bye.
40:37Are you getting juice for her?
40:39Yeah, just one carton.
40:41Look, you ripped the woman's heart out. Why would she want juice from you?
40:45Okay.
40:46Don't freak out. But this breakup is sort of a work in progress.
40:51She doesn't know?
40:52Will you calm down? I can explain.
40:54So, if Edie doesn't know, then that means that you just cheated on her. With me. You made me the
41:00other woman.
41:01Please don't be angry. I tried to break up with you, but because I wasn't sure you wanted me back,
41:05I wish this wouldn't come out of my mouth. Now that I know that you want me and love me
41:09again, it's a done deal.
41:10Get out of my house, you miserable son of a bitch!
41:14Can we talk about this?
41:15No! Just get out! Get out!
41:18Susie! Susie!
41:19Our marriage was garbage!
41:20Just a disgusting pile of garbage!
41:23Don't do this right now!
41:23Don't do this right now!
41:24And I regret everything that came of it!
41:26Except you, honey. You're my rock.
41:28Get out!
41:29I promise you I'm gonna break up with Edie and make this right. I'll call you when it's done.
41:36Don't bother! I won't pick up!
41:46We've all done something in our lives we're ashamed of.
41:52Some of us have fallen for the wrong man.
41:56Some have let go of the right woman.
42:01There are those who have humiliated their parents.
42:07And those who have failed their children.
42:12Yes, we've all made mistakes that diminish us and those we love.
42:19But there is redemption if we try to learn from those mistakes.
42:24Start and grow.
42:29Grow!
42:33Grow!
42:38Grow!
42:39Grow!
42:44Grow!
43:11Transcription by CastingWords
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