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01:30Today, featuring Binky the Clown, so turn up the volume, kids.
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05:58Leave it to me. I'm going to make you a household name.
06:03Alright. If no one's going to notice me, I might as well take advantage of it.
06:09Garfield, wait!
06:40I can't believe it. Nobody noticed me.
06:44Oh, there you are, Garfield.
06:47You know, I realized I haven't been paying a lot of attention to you lately.
06:52I apologize.
06:54He likes me.
06:56And I made you this lasagna to show you I'm sorry.
07:00Lasagna? After all, I've just eaten.
07:03You don't want lasagna? Garfield, you must be sick.
07:08I'll get you right down to the vet. She'll give you a shot or something.
07:11A shot? No, I'm okay. Don't be concerned about me. Pay no attention to me.
07:24Garfield, pretend I'm not here, because I won't be.
07:40Garfield! Garfield, where are you?
07:52You see, it's like I told you. Your name is a household word.
07:57Yeah, but so is garbage.
08:00Any more of those breadcrests?
08:02Yeah. You want pump-a-nickel or white?
08:04When they're this old, it doesn't matter.
08:13What you're reading, Lawson?
08:15The weather forecast.
08:16According to this, there's a 30% chance of thunder and lightning.
08:21Oh, no!
08:31I... I... I better go before it gets me again.
08:35No! Stay right there, Wade.
08:37You're safe there, because lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
08:43Aha. Gee, thanks, Orson.
08:45It's good to know I am safe, because lightning will not strike this spot.
08:52Yeah, Orson, do pianos strike twice in the same spot, huh?
09:07Quick, Orson, drink some of this orange juice. It'll help cure your cold.
09:12There's no cure for a cold, because a cold is a virus, and medical science hasn't found a cure for
09:18viruses.
09:19Here, Orson, like, try some of this hot soup, man.
09:22The saying is, starve a cold, feed a fever.
09:25No, it isn't. It's feed a cold, starve a fever.
09:29How about feed a rooster, starve an egg, shell brain?
09:33And cover up so you don't get a chill.
09:35Yeah, get back.
09:36I'll just fluff up the pillow for you.
09:39Hiya!
09:40Whoa!
09:41Hiya!
09:41Whoa, stop! Please, stop!
09:45We're just trying to make you feel better, Orson.
09:47I know, but I think I need some rest and quiet.
09:51Besides, if you stay around me, you'll all catch my cold.
09:54Oh, that's right! Germs! Germies!
09:58Help! Save me from infection!
10:01Well, that's gratitude for you.
10:04I don't think Orson meant to hurt our feelings.
10:06He's just kind of spaced out today because of his cold.
10:11Space, the final frontier.
10:16Swine trek, adventures in space.
10:22There's swine mess all over the place.
10:29They'll go exploring where no one else will.
10:34Things were just fine out in space until Swine trek, adventures are bold.
10:46This all started with a common cold.
10:53Finding another world unlike our kind.
10:58We're lucky that it's just in Orson's mind.
11:05Swine trek, oh no.
11:13Ha-ha-choo!
11:17Captain's log, 230,467.95.
11:22Let's have a report from engineering.
11:25Yeah, like I just synchronized the dilithium carburetors,
11:28and I was thinking that maybe, you know,
11:30we could, like, chrome the valve covers and paint flames on the side.
11:34Hello?
11:35Hello?
11:37Who's there?
11:38If this is a crank call,
11:40we just got a distress call,
11:42but there was a lot of static, and then some clicks,
11:45and then they hung up.
11:45What do you think that means, Wade?
11:47How should I know?
11:49I'm a duck, not the Wichita lineman.
11:52I've pinpointed the area where the signal originated, Captain.
11:55It came from the planet Deneb 92.
11:59Surely we're not diverting our course to find out who made that call.
12:03Since our five-year mission is to go where nobody's ever been before,
12:06we must check it out.
12:08And don't call me Shirley.
12:12What did he say?
12:14It was, that'll teach you to shut your beak, capitalist comb head.
12:19Set a course for Deneb 92 and arm the photon tomatoes.
12:22There may be pork-ons in the area.
12:35If you're all here, who's running the ship?
12:38Don't worry.
12:39I put it into a parking orbit, and there's an hour on the meter.
12:41You can't do that.
12:43What if the space co-op calls while we're away?
12:46Beau, Roy, Lanolin, Booker, you'll all have to go back.
12:50We never get to go anywhere.
12:52Yeah, some people have all the fun.
12:58What did he say?
12:59He said, like, what a bourgeois bummer, man.
13:02Plunked Russian at the Space Academy, didn't you?
13:06According to my data, Deneb 92 is a type 2 planet.
13:11The chief crop is rutabagas, and it holds the galactic basketball record for the most number of personal fouls in
13:17one season.
13:21Can we get a reading on this, Science Officer Sheldon?
13:24It is a pool of viscous mineral and silica-based planetary matter infused with a liquefied hydrogen oxygen, also referred
13:32to as a hog wallet.
13:34We better be on the lookout for pork-ons.
13:42We lured Orson and his crew here with that phony distress call.
13:46It will be the ultimate test of our new pork-on secret weapon.
13:52Fascinating, Captain.
13:53There are pork-ons in the area.
13:55I believe they are watching us.
13:59Attack!
14:01The pork-ons are attacking!
14:05Your ray-blasts are of no use against us, space scum!
14:14We come in peace.
14:16Get your hands up.
14:19Are they up?
14:25Fire the photon tomatoes.
14:28Brrung-nang-yegg-nang-photon!
14:30Photon tomatoes!
14:32Away!
14:34Photon tomatoes!
14:36Radioactive space, Ketchup!
14:39Let's get out of here!
14:41Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what's that object they dropped?
14:47Three to beam up with a pork-on object.
14:50Surely you're not gonna bring it aboard!
14:52We've got no choice if we want to find out what it is.
14:55And stop calling me Shirley.
14:58It looks like something from a laboratory.
15:02Wait!
15:02Don't open it!
15:04Don't open it!
15:10Oh, no!
15:12It's the dreaded space virus!
15:14We are doomed!
15:16Doomed!
15:20What a weird drain!
15:23Hey!
15:24I think my cold is gone!
15:28I guess rest is the best medicine!
15:34Look, everybody!
15:36I'm all better!
15:37We all caught you cold, Orson.
15:40I'm sorry.
15:41Hey, like, it's not your fault, man.
15:45Yeah, you wanted to...
15:48You better stay away from us this time,
15:51or you'll get sick again.
15:54Maybe not.
15:55I have an idea.
16:01Anyone want any orange juice?
16:04Orson, can you bring me a cough drop?
16:07You know...
16:10Thanks to space technology,
16:12I can wait on you guys until you're all better.
16:15I'll please have some hot sauce.
16:17Shirley, you're gonna have some dishes.
16:20I do.
16:23And don't call me Shirley.
16:39Hey, Odie, do you know what they put in dog food?
16:42Ingredients.
16:44Lizards.
16:45Yak lips.
16:46Caterpillar fuzz.
16:48Duck feet.
16:49Gum that's already been chewed.
16:50Aluminum siding.
16:52And some stuff you wouldn't even want to know about.
16:58Garfield, we're all out of cat food.
17:00You'll have to eat dog food today.
17:02Okay.
17:06What's with Odie?
17:07Must have been something he ate.
17:29Did you know that fire hydrants contain compressed water?
17:33That's right.
17:34Many people foolishly believe that these things are connected by pipes to water lines buried below.
17:39But we know better than that.
17:43All fire hydrants are manufactured at Heidi's Hydrant Heaven in Walla Walla, Washington.
17:49There, each hydrant is filled with 100 gallons of compressed H2O, specially formulated to extinguish fires.
17:57The hydrants are then bolted to the street for convenient use by pets.
18:03You don't believe me?
18:06Uh-uh.
18:11Remember, audience, if you heard it on television...
18:15It must be true!
18:18Yes, it must be true!
18:20The show that tells you all sorts of incredible things, which, since they're on television, must be true!
18:27And now, the host of It Must Be True, Garfield the Can!
18:34Thank you, thank you.
18:36We have a great show for you tonight, folks.
18:37And I just want to remind you of our motto.
18:39If they say it on television...
18:41It must be true!
18:43Here's our first incredible revelation.
18:45There's no such place as Wyoming.
18:51Think about it.
18:52Have you ever met anyone from Wyoming?
18:55No!
18:56Now that you've mentioned it, I don't think I've ever met.
18:59Well, there you are.
19:01The myth of Wyoming began in the year 1789,
19:04when the great explorer and mapmaker Arbuckle Vespucci was designing the United States.
19:11Let's see.
19:12I'll put Oklahoma here.
19:14Then I'll put North Dakota here.
19:16No, no, no, no.
19:17Maybe that should be near South Dakota.
19:19Si!
19:20Ha!
19:20That's good!
19:21He had some help from his faithful and handsome cat.
19:25You dropped a visa.
19:27Oh, no!
19:28I don't have a room left for those two.
19:30Hey, and no sweater.
19:31You just put Alaska up here or someplace and stick this Hawaii out here someplace.
19:36Simple.
19:37Belissimo!
19:38I have a design of the entire United States.
19:42I left a teensy-tinesy little square empty out here, and I'm all out of the states.
19:48Hmm.
19:49No more states, uh-huh.
19:51How about another of Carolina?
19:53No.
19:54I know.
19:55And so the cat wrote in, Wyoming, an old Italian word meaning no state here.
20:03Wow!
20:05It must be.
20:07So there's no Wyoming.
20:09And remember...
20:11If they said it on television, it must be true.
20:22When no humans are around, cows discuss English literature.
20:27I felt that in Midsummer Night's Dream, Shakespeare postulated an interesting dichotomy.
20:32Oh, excuse me.
20:34The farmer is coming.
20:47As you were saying.
20:50Yes.
20:51Well, I feel that there's a basic dichotomy.
20:56Ooh.
20:57It must be true.
21:01You know how they make raisins?
21:04Don't believe that story about sun-dried grapes.
21:07Actually, they shrink down bowling balls.
21:10Like this.
21:17Voila.
21:18A raisin.
21:19Oh!
21:21It must be true.
21:24By law, all footstools are required to contain orange juice, toast, and sausage patties.
21:32Wow!
21:32That's incredible!
21:35It must be true.
21:37Remember, you can't believe everything you ever hear anyone say on TV.
21:41No one on TV ever lies.
21:44For our last item tonight, an incredible but true fact about dogs.
21:49Dogs have no brains.
21:53Observe this x-ray.
21:54See?
21:55Nothing.
21:56Nada.
21:57Empty.
21:58The lights are on, but nobody's home.
22:03Remember that, folks.
22:04Dogs have no brains.
22:06If we say it on television, it must be true.
22:19No brains.
22:20And they never harm cats.
22:27Because cats are poisonous.
22:29Chop a cat and you die.
22:39All cats know karate.
22:44Dogs love cats.
22:46It's true.
22:47Help!
22:57I will never lie again.
23:01That's right.
23:03He will never lie again.
23:05And remember, if they said it on television, it must be...
23:08Oh, shut up.
23:10Wow.
23:29I will never lie again.
23:31That's right.
23:31Here's the man.
23:31This person drops off suddenly.
23:32I will never lie again.
23:32Never lie again.
23:37I will never lie again.
23:37Let's know what's going on!
23:37This is a gangsta play.
23:39Half
23:39O
23:39See好
23:39Is
23:39How
23:39Lastишь
23:39Is
23:39böl
23:39¡Gracias!
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