00:09You wish that you weren't there
00:11Just close your eyes and say to me
00:15And you can be like me
00:17I'm not there
00:20I'm not there
00:20I'm not there
00:22I'm not there
00:22I'm not there
00:28I'm not there
00:43Ready, guys?
00:45Ready
00:46Okay
00:47One
00:48Two
00:49Three
00:51All right
00:52I love the noise these crispy kittens make
00:56That's nothing
00:57Why do you hear my cereal?
01:01Like they say on TV
01:03Explodes on your tongue
01:05Not in your bowl
01:06More louder
01:11Animal, that's disgusting
01:13Thank you
01:14Oh
01:16What are you eating, Bobby?
01:18These are floppy flakes
01:20Floppy flakes?
01:22What do they do?
01:23Nothing
01:24They don't make noise
01:25They have no taste
01:26They won't make you big and strong
01:31Um, no thanks
01:35When it comes to flops and flakes
01:37I'm an expert
01:38I couldn't have said it better myself
01:41Hi, kids
01:43Hi, Nanny
01:45Having a nice breakfast?
01:47Yes, Nanny
01:50Gee, wonder what all that stuff is for
01:53What stuff?
01:54That old tire
01:55The fake flamingo
01:56The ball and the crutches
01:58Well
01:58Maybe her flamingo sprained his ankle
02:01Changing a flat tire on his way to play soccer
02:03Hi, Nanny
02:05Water polo?
02:06Hey, I know
02:08Maybe Nanny's taking up flamingo polo
02:11What?
02:12Sure
02:13Flamingo polo is a great game
02:17The players ride up flamingos
02:20And try to hit a soccer ball through the spare tire
02:24Yay!
02:26Away!
02:29I think you've been hanging around Gonzo too long, Scooter
02:34Um, Nanny?
02:36Yes, Kermit?
02:37What are you doing?
02:38I'm getting ready for my garage sale tomorrow
02:40Garage sale?
02:42That's right
02:43Oh
02:44Gosh, that's great
02:46Yeah
02:47A garage sale
02:48Hey
02:49What is a garage sale anyway?
02:51Don't be silly
02:52Everyone knows what a garage sale is, Fozzie
02:56I don't
02:57Me neither
02:59Do you know?
03:00Not me
03:01You may not know
03:02Oh
03:03Well, um, Kermit knows what it is, don't you, Kermit?
03:07Um
03:08No, not really, Piggy
03:10Deal?
03:11Well
03:11Of course
03:12Um
03:13It's, uh
03:14A sale where
03:15You, um
03:16Sell garages
03:18And
03:19And Nanny
03:20Is the biggest seller of garages
03:22In the whole world
03:24Put your garage
03:25In my hands
03:28And
03:29And
03:29And I bet she sells
03:30A hundred garages
03:32Tomorrow
03:32Come on, Piggy
03:34That's not what a garage sale is
03:36And you know it
03:37Yes, it is
03:38Yes, it is
03:40Okay, then, Miss Smarty Pants
03:43What's the cuckoo clock
03:45And the telephone for?
03:46Well, um
03:47Those are special gifts
03:49For Nanny's most valuable customers
03:52You're just making that all up, Piggy
03:55Come on, you guys
03:57Let's go ask Nanny what a garage sale really is
04:02Hey, Nanny
04:06We want to know what a garage sale is
04:08Well, kids
04:09I'm collecting all the things I don't need anymore
04:13And tomorrow I'll put them outside
04:14And I'll sell them to people who can use them
04:17Wow, what a wonderful idea, Nanny
04:21Yeah, much better than trying to sell a dumb old garage
04:25I'm going up now to see what we have in the attic
04:29Gosh, why would anyone buy this stuff?
04:32Who cares?
04:33With the right approach, you can sell anything
04:39Weird gonzo's the name
04:41Miss Smarty Prices is my game
04:44At Nanny's garage sale, the prices are so low
04:48How low are they?
04:50They're so low, they have to look up to look down
04:55How about this honey of a barbecue grill?
04:58Watch the price come crashing down
05:03Some assembly may be required on this one
05:06And here's a, well, it's a, I don't know what it is
05:11How much would you pay for it?
05:16You would? Really?
05:18Well, then take that price and slash it in a million pieces
05:26Why these prices are so low
05:29Then I'll be you to haul this stuff away
05:31Why here?
05:33Because I'm weird
05:34Come on, Gonzo
05:37Stop fooling around
05:39Yeah, you're making a big mess
05:41Wait a minute, guys
05:43Gonzo has a good idea
05:45He does?
05:46I don't?
05:47Yeah, let's all make a big mess
05:49Big mess
05:50Big mess
05:54No, that's not what I mean
05:56I mean, let's make a commercial to help Nanny with your garage sale
06:00Hey, good idea
06:02Yeah, great
06:02Jesus, how do we make a commercial?
06:05Yeah, we know how to watch them, but we don't know how to make them
06:10We'll help you, Nanny
06:13Just put this extra stuff in the nursery
06:15Good idea
06:16Come on
06:17But, Kermit, I...
06:23Hey, I'll bet Nanny knows how to make commercials, Kermit
06:27Yeah, she knows everything
06:29Um, Nanny, can I ask you an important question?
06:33Why, sure, Kermit
06:35Um, where do commercials come from?
06:38Huh? Commercials?
06:40Well, let's see
06:42When people want to sell their product
06:44They go to an ad agency
06:46Um, what's that?
06:48Ad agencies are where people think up the ideas for all the commercials
06:52Come on, guys
06:54Let's make our own ad agency
06:56And do commercials for Nanny's sale
06:59Hooray!
07:00But, kids
07:01Oh, my
07:07Okay, you guys
07:08Let's make up those commercials
07:12Now, who has an idea?
07:17Well, someone must have an idea
07:20Uh, Skater?
07:22Yes, Fuzzy?
07:23Is it snack time yet?
07:24I'm hungry
07:25This isn't gonna be easy
07:28I got it, I got it
07:29Oh, wait till you hear that
07:31Okay, okay
07:32First, you see a close-up
07:34Of a nose
07:36A beautiful, big, blue one
07:39Then, a pencil
07:40Throw in a little mood music
07:43Perfect
07:44Now, a close-up of a table leg
07:47A bear's ear
07:48A frog's eye
07:50And a piglet's pair of shoes
07:53Then, a voice saying
07:55Nick-nack, petty-wack, give a dog a bone
07:57Well, what do you think?
07:59Knocked your socks off, huh?
08:01Well, um, it was kinda
08:04Kinda, you know
08:06They're very weird
08:07Thanks
08:08Uh, what was it
08:09A commercial for?
08:11For?
08:12Uh, you mean a commercial
08:13Is supposed to be
08:14For something?
08:15Oh, brother
08:17I have an idea, Skater
08:19Yeah?
08:19What is it, Skater?
08:21Well, I think the first thing
08:23We have to do
08:24Is tell people
08:25What a great lady
08:26Our nanny is
08:27Oh, that sounds good
08:28So, we should start out
08:30With a picture of nanny
08:32And next
08:33A big, strong voice
08:34Should come in
08:35And start talking about her
08:36Our nanny
08:38She's the best
08:40That's a big, strong, huh?
08:42Our nanny has fresh sheets
08:44And warm hugs
08:45She's chocolate chip cookies
08:47Right out of the oven
08:48Huh?
08:49She likes to wear metal hats
08:52And she, uh
08:53Has a very special way
08:55Of looking at things
08:56She can leap tall buildings
08:59In a single bound
09:00And she loves animals
09:02Hey, wait a minute
09:06What's going on?
09:08Animal, cut it out
09:10Wah?
09:13Gee, Skater
09:13I thought Animal
09:15Was making it pretty good
09:18I don't know how anything
09:21Could help that commercial
09:22Well, how about you, Piggy?
09:24Do you have any ideas
09:26For commercials?
09:27Yes
09:27Don't do them
09:29Huh?
09:30That's a dumb idea
09:32Well, what good are commercials
09:34Without a show
09:35For them to interrupt?
09:37Piggy
09:38Hey, maybe Piggy's right
09:40What?
09:42Why, thank you, Kermie
09:43Why can't we do both?
09:45What do you mean?
09:47Skater can be in charge
09:49Of the commercials
09:49And Piggy can do the show
09:51For the commercials
09:52To interrupt?
09:53Oh
09:53A show starring moi?
09:56What a wonderful idea, Kermie
09:58Oh, I can see it now
09:59It will be something
10:00Very romantic
10:02With lots of love
10:03And mushy stuff
10:04Very
10:05And then
10:07At the most important part
10:08Of the show
10:09You kill me, Kermie
10:11I was afraid of that
10:13I'm ready, Kermie
10:15Me help
10:16Me help
10:20Animal
10:21What's all a yelling about, Piggy?
10:24Well, we're trying to get ready
10:25For the garage sale tomorrow, Nanny
10:27And Animal keeps interrupting
10:30Me help, Nanny
10:31Me help
10:32How about helping me, Animal?
10:35Okay
10:36You could clean up
10:37Some of this dusty old stuff
10:39With this sudsy sponge
10:40Oh, Animal
10:44I'm gonna go and see
10:46What else I can find
10:47For the sale, kids
10:49Okay, Nanny
10:50Hey, I never got to finish
10:52My commercial for Nanny
10:53Wanna help me, Fozzie?
10:56Sure
10:56Let's go, Scooter
11:01If you want one rubber boot
11:03Or a home-a-dot swimsuit
11:05Bootsy Nanny
11:07Bootsy Nanny
11:08Who will need a leaky hose
11:11Hey, I'd like one of those
11:12Bootsy Nanny
11:13Put that down, Fozzie
11:15Bootsy Nanny
11:16The prices are the best you'll ever find
11:19Oh, there's lots
11:21You can't make up your mind
11:22Hey, let me see
11:23If you wanna buy some hair
11:25Bootsy, get out of there
11:26Bootsy Nanny
11:28Bootsy Nanny
11:28This record's pretty soon
11:30It just needs a little blue
11:32Bootsy Nanny
11:33Bootsy Nanny
11:35I am hammer or a drill
11:37My a weekend in Brazil
11:39We can't stop that
11:41Bootsy Nanny
11:42She's got boxes full of stuff
11:44You'll never abuse
11:46Bootsy Nanny
11:47The prices are so low
11:48You can refuse
11:49It's the biggest sound of time
11:52She's the best Nanny around
11:53Bootsy Nanny
11:55Hey, you can't buy a rug
11:57Or a pencil shopper
11:58But here's the deal
11:59How about the whole nursery
12:00And my rubber chicken
12:01And all my friends
12:03And sure, one of my great jokes
12:04All for just $2.98
12:24Bootsy Nanny
12:26These are the days in our nursery
12:31When we last left the beautiful Piggy Brokenheart
12:35Her boyfriend had forgotten her birthday
12:38Her girlfriend had forgotten her name
12:41And Piggy had forgotten where she put her secret stash of cupcakes
12:45All in all, it's been a pretty rotten day
12:48So let's tune in
12:50And see what Piggy will do
12:52With all her terrible, horrible, yucko problems today
12:56Commercial!
12:57What?
12:58Folks, has this ever happened to you?
13:00Oops!
13:01Hi!
13:02Whoa!
13:03I almost broke my favorite toy
13:05Well, weep no more, my friend
13:08With this amazing offer from Nanny Incorporated
13:11You can get a complete set of already broken toys
13:14For less money than it takes to drop them down a flight of stairs
13:18Huh?
13:19That's right
13:19Why go through the sadness of having all your favorite toys break
13:23When Nanny can send you a whole box of toys that are already broken
13:27Broken toys?
13:29Well, that's ridiculous
13:30And by ordering today
13:32You'll also get this amazing set of plastic forks and spoons
13:36Absolutely free
13:38Free?
13:39That's right
13:40Plus, these two vacuum cleaner bags
13:43A complete set of unmatched luggage
13:44And this amazing empty goldfish bowl
13:47Wow!
13:48I love not having goldfish
13:50Plus, if you act now
13:52We'll throw in this very special free gift behind the curtain
13:56Whoa!
13:58Huh?
13:58Whoops!
13:59So, uh, how much would you expect to pay for this exciting offer?
14:04Many!
14:05Gosh, I don't know
14:07Ah, wait, there's more
14:09There is?
14:11Wow!
14:12Just for calling today
14:13We'll throw in two dozen of these
14:15And wherever they are
14:17Isn't that amazing?
14:19Yeah, amazing
14:20Give me two
14:22Give me six
14:23I'll take them all
14:25You won't regret it
14:27What am I buying again?
14:29Huh?
14:30Uh, um, um, um
14:33And now back to our program
14:35The Guiding Pig
14:37Really?
14:39I'm a commercial!
14:40Now just one minute, Skeeter
14:42That's all it will take
14:45Okay, Skeeter, what's the big idea?
14:48Relax, Peggy
14:50You get to do your show
14:51But you can't have TV without commercials
14:54Why not?
14:56Because for every TV show
14:58There's about a zillion commercials, right?
15:00Well, now that you mention it
15:03So, like I said
15:05Commercial!
15:07And now Nanny and Company
15:08Is about to present
15:09The best book around
15:11It's Bookie the Book
15:13That's right
15:14Bookie the Book
15:15He comes in all colors and sizes
15:17And don't worry if he has no pictures
15:19Bookie has a thousand uses
15:21You can use them to make yourself taller
15:25Or use them as a fan
15:29You can even use Bookie to make a loud noise
15:34Shhh
15:35And there's more
15:37Use Bookie to make things flat
15:43Flop!
15:44Flop!
15:44Flounder it!
15:45You can have all kinds of fun with Bookie the Book
15:54And when you get older and learn to read
15:56Bookie the Book is better than ever
15:58Bookie the Book
16:00The toy that lasts a lifetime
16:02Buy one today
16:03At Nanny's Garage Sale
16:05What?
16:13Fozzie
16:13Get those books put away, okay?
16:16We have a lot more commercials to do
16:18Hold it, Skeeter!
16:19What's the matter now, Piggy?
16:21You promised I would get to do some of my soap opera
16:24Yeah, so?
16:25So, haven't these commercials been going on for an awfully long time?
16:29Nope
16:30It seems about right to me
16:32Listen, Skeeter, I'm...
16:33And now we return you to...
16:35All My Piggies
16:37All My Piggies?
16:38Wait a minute!
16:40Oh, that's my show!
16:41You can't bat without me!
16:43Wait!
16:43Wait!
16:45Anahol!
16:46Grr!
16:48Grr!
16:50Grr!
16:50Grr!
16:51Grr!
16:51Grr!
16:51Grr!
16:52Grr!
16:53Grr!
16:53Grr!
16:54Grr!
16:54Grr!
16:55And now, another chapter in the life of All My Piggies
16:59Um, I said...
17:02All My Piggies!
17:05Okay, how about just a couple of my Piggies?
17:07One Piggie?
17:09How about a half-baked ham?
17:12All right!
17:13All right already, I'm here!
17:16This acting stuff is a lot harder than I thought!
17:21When last we left Piggie, she was in her kitchen, crying and yelling, and acting kinda unhappy.
17:29Today, she's in her kitchen, waiting for her long-lost brother's sister's younger son to arrive and tell her where
17:36her cousin's uncle's dog is being...
17:38Okay!
17:38Okay!
17:39Oh!
17:40Finally!
17:42Oh, dear!
17:44I'm so sad!
17:46Barry!
17:47Worried about your dirty kitchen floor?
17:49Huh?
17:49It's no problem.
17:51If you've got one of Miss Nanny's used brooms and mops...
17:54What?
17:54Just smell this!
17:56Then never worry about embarrassing stinky odors again!
18:01Yuck up a choice!
18:02Say!
18:04If it's odors you're worried about, try one of Nanny's flower vacations with that fresh flower scent!
18:13Nanny's flowers are garden grow!
18:15That's smelly and kind!
18:18Eww!
18:19Thanks a lot!
18:20Skeeter, I'm super tired!
18:22Of your regular everyday clothes?
18:24Huh?
18:25My clothes?
18:26I'm from Nanny's used clothes!
18:28Nanny's got it all!
18:30For the very big and the very small!
18:34Just listen to these satisfied customers!
18:38We buy all our clothes at Nanny's!
18:41Yeah!
18:42One size fits all!
18:44Even someone sort of...
18:45Chubby!
18:47Like you, Piggy!
18:48What?!
18:49Ooooooh!
18:50I didn't mean chubby exactly!
18:53Just freezingly plump!
18:54Just smell that aroma!
18:57Fiends in a jiffy!
18:58We got portly short, shortly port!
19:03Gator!
19:04Stop these commercials!
19:06These aren't commercials, Piggy!
19:08This is your show!
19:10My show?
19:11It is?
19:12Gee, I can't tell the difference anymore!
19:15You'll notice the difference right away when you use Nanny's space-age washboard on your laundry!
19:21Oh!
19:22Get me out of here!
19:24Get me out of here!
19:29Want to get away from it all?
19:32Yes!
19:33Take Nanny's air and leave the flying to us!
19:41Oh!
19:43Oh!
19:44Who's flying this thing anyway?
19:47Animal fly!
19:49La la la la la la!
19:50Animals?
19:51I'm getting out of here!
19:56Oh no!
19:57Now what'll I do?
19:58Here's right in!
20:04We have secretly replaced Piggy's parachute with one of Nanny's soft white bedsheets!
20:10Let's see if she can tell the difference!
20:17Oh!
20:21Yay!
20:23Hooray for Piggy!
20:25Good show!
20:26La la la la la!
20:28Why, thank you!
20:30Thank you!
20:31What's going on, kid?
20:33We were just working on some commercials for your sale tomorrow!
20:36And I was rehearsing my show to help entertain your customers!
20:40Commercials?
20:41Show!
20:42My goodness!
20:43You have been busy!
20:44And wait until you see them, Nanny!
20:47They're so great!
20:48People will buy all your stuff whether they want it or not!
20:52Yeah!
20:53You're settled!
20:54Gee, kid!
20:55I don't want people to buy my things just because they like your commercials!
20:59You don't?
21:01No!
21:02I want them to buy my things because they can use them!
21:05You're kidding!
21:07But gee, Nanny!
21:08We just wanted to help you with your sale!
21:10No!
21:10Well, I know a great way you can help me with my garage sale!
21:15Really?
21:16What is it, Nanny?
21:17How would you like to help me make a big sign that says, Garage Sale?
21:21Yeah!
21:23Right there!
21:24Blue help!
21:25Blue help!
21:26Hello!
21:27Blue help!
21:28What's the matter, Piggy?
21:30Well, I...
21:31I, uh...
21:32Well, I never got to finish my show!
21:35Gosh, Piggy!
21:37Why don't you just tell us how it ends?
21:39Can I?
21:41Sure!
21:41Why not?
21:43No lesson!
21:44Okay!
21:45Here goes!
21:47I land on the ground and I'm safe, but I get hit in the head!
21:51Look at who I am and I lose my job!
21:52Oh!
21:53And all my hair falls out, but...
21:55Um...
21:55I get a new job at a nightclub!
21:58And Kermit is there and as soon as I see him I know who I am, but he doesn't!
22:02So he runs away and...
22:03And I have to go find him!
22:05And then I do!
22:06And we go to Miami!
22:07And we talk to each other and then we get married!
22:09And they make me a star and we live happily ever after!
22:13Oh!
22:13And all my hair grows back!
22:15See ya!
22:16How'd you like it?
22:17Good show, Piggy!
22:19We go to Miami!
22:25Stay tuned, because next is the Great Gonzo Show starring just me, Gonzo!
22:33That's not true!
22:35First, I capture King Kong when he tries to steal Piggy's tricycle!
22:40He's making it up!
22:42And then I whistle Rambo in a swamp full of alec ears and win!
22:48Stop fibbing, Gonzo!
22:50And finally, Piggy will marry me!
22:54And we'll live happily ever after!
22:56Gonzo, none of that stuff is gonna happen!
22:59Uh-huh!
23:00Yes it is!
23:01No it isn't!
23:02Oh yeah?
23:03Then what is gonna happen?
23:05We'll be right back with all the Muppet Babies!
23:08Oh yeah!
23:11And I'm telling the truth!
23:13So don't go away!
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