00:06One, two, three, four, five, red light!
00:14Whoa!
00:16I saw you move, Fozzie.
00:19You have to go back to the store.
00:21I do?
00:22How come?
00:23Because when she says red light, you're supposed to freeze.
00:27Freeze?
00:28But I'm not even calm.
00:30Get it?
00:30Freeze?
00:31Cold?
00:32Fozzie!
00:33I know, I know.
00:34I'll go back.
00:35Okay.
00:37Red light!
00:39One, two, three, four, five, five, five, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
00:49I'm ahead for your nose.
00:51Not for long.
00:53Green light!
00:54One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, 12, three,
01:02Red-Eyes!
01:04Hey! Not bad, Gondo!
01:07Gondo, you have to stop!
01:10Hey! Piggy, dry!
01:13Okay, you guys, you asked for it.
01:16I guess you could...
01:19Get back in the nursery, Gondo!
01:23No one thinks Gondo and Dreddy!
01:27Oh, yeah?
01:31Okay, you two, play at him!
01:36Sorry, Piggy, but you ran a red light.
01:39But I was just chasing Gondo.
01:41Tell him to the judge.
01:44Huh? What was that?
01:47Come on.
01:48I think the noise came from in here.
01:51Look!
01:53The cookie jar!
01:55Gee, I wonder who broke it.
01:57Yeah, I wonder.
01:59Gonzo!
02:01Now that was accelerating.
02:04Hey, Gonzo, what was that noise?
02:06I don't know.
02:08Well, we two, Gonzo broke the cookie jar.
02:11I did?
02:12Yeah, and then he put it in the trash.
02:15I did?
02:16Yes, but we found it.
02:19You did?
02:19Yes, and you broke it into a million pieces.
02:23No, I didn't.
02:24Huh?
02:26You didn't?
02:27No!
02:28Then who did break the cookie jar?
02:31I don't know.
02:33Gee, Gonzo, are you sure that you didn't do it?
02:35Because maybe you did do it, but then forgot that you did it and thought that you didn't do it
02:39because something there...
02:40Sheesh.
02:41Or not.
02:42I still didn't do it.
02:44Listen, you guys.
02:45If Gonzo said he didn't do it, then he didn't do it.
02:48But we better find out who did.
02:50I'll check out the kitchen.
02:52I'll look over here.
02:53Yeah, I'll check over here.
02:55I'm going that way.
02:56I'll go with you, Kermit.
02:57You'll have a nose for this kind of thing.
03:00Great!
03:00There could be clues anywhere, Rolf.
03:02Let's start with the nursery.
03:09It was a Tuesday.
03:11The big hand was on the eleven, and the little hand was on the three.
03:15My partner and I were in the middle of a hot game of tiddlywinks when the phone rang.
03:21Yuck!
03:22Yuck!
03:23Yuck!
03:24The soggy one is my partner, Rolf Gannon.
03:28The green one is me.
03:29My name's Friday.
03:3112th Precinct!
03:32This is Friday!
03:33No, Friday.
03:35I know it's Tuesday, but...
03:37Uh-huh.
03:37Uh-huh.
03:38What is it, Kermit?
03:39I think our pizza's ready.
03:40Oh.
03:41What did you say?
03:42Oh, no!
03:43We'll look into it right away!
03:46Now what is it?
03:47A 337.
03:48Let's roll.
03:49Okay, Friday.
03:50Not Friday.
03:51Today, Rolf.
03:52Right, Friday.
03:53Let's roll.
03:54Sheesh.
03:56Oops!
03:57In police talk, a 337 is breaking and entering a cookie jar.
04:02I knew that the infamous Cookie Man of Alcatraz had just been released.
04:07So we checked him out first.
04:09The Cookie Man had opened his own store.
04:11He called it Famous Fozzie.
04:15Are you Famous Fozzie, the Cookie Man of Alcatraz?
04:18Uh-huh.
04:20I'm Gannon, and this is Friday.
04:22No, it isn't.
04:22It's Tuesday.
04:24Oh, boy.
04:25No, he's Friday.
04:26Even on Tuesday?
04:28Uh, forget it, Rolf.
04:30Listen, Famous, did you break Nanny's cookie jar?
04:34Me?
04:34No!
04:35I'm innocent, I tell you!
04:37I'm innocent!
04:38And where'd you get all the chocolate chips for your cookies?
04:40Huh?
04:41Oh!
04:41Oh!
04:42Right here!
04:46Hey, one-chip schooner!
04:48Sorry.
04:49Okay, Famous.
04:50Where were you when the cookie jar broke?
04:52I was with him!
04:53Is that true?
04:54Uh-huh.
04:56And I was with him!
04:58Is that right, Famous?
04:59Uh-huh.
05:00Do either of you know anything about this cookie jar getting broken?
05:03Well, I think Gonzo did it.
05:06Does that help?
05:07Afraid not.
05:08We're only interested in one thing.
05:10What's that?
05:11Just the facts, man.
05:13Oh.
05:14And just one more thing.
05:15What's that?
05:16Keep your noses clean.
05:18Huh?
05:21Gee, Kermit, we're not getting anywhere.
05:24Yeah, I know.
05:25I wonder how Skeeter's doing.
05:27Okay, Animal.
05:28This is the scene of the crime.
05:30Let's look for some clues.
05:32Ender prints!
05:33Good idea, Animal.
05:35You take the finger prints while I look around.
05:38Wow.
05:39Look at this.
05:40A real clue.
05:42Gonzo's baby chicken, Camilla.
05:44So it was Gonzo after all.
05:47I better tell the others.
05:49Come on, Animal.
05:50Animal?
05:51Animal?
05:52Thunder prints!
05:54Thunder prints!
05:55Oh, no!
05:56Animal, I told you to take finger prints, not make finger prints.
06:03Fool.
06:04Gee, Gonzo.
06:05Everybody was with somebody else when the cookie jar was broken.
06:08Except for you.
06:10Oh.
06:11Uh-oh.
06:12Yeah.
06:12We all have a lullaby.
06:14I, uh, think that's alibi, Fuzzy.
06:17That's what I said.
06:18Lullaby.
06:19But...
06:20But I wasn't even near the kitchen.
06:23Ha!
06:24Look what I found in the kitchen.
06:26Oh, no!
06:29How did that get there?
06:30Why don't you tell us, Gonzo?
06:33But I don't know.
06:35Gee, Gonzo.
06:37We'd like to believe you, but all the evidence keeps pointing to you.
06:41But I didn't do it.
06:43Sounds to me like we should have a trial.
06:45A trial!
06:46A trial?
06:48What's that?
06:48Oh, I saw it on TV.
06:50A trial takes place in a courtroom.
06:52There's a judge.
06:54And when the judge comes in, everybody has to stand up.
06:58Judge Hapner, stand up.
07:06Sit down.
07:08Stand up.
07:09Sit down.
07:10Stand up.
07:11Sit down.
07:11Stand up.
07:12Sit down.
07:13Stand up.
07:13That's enough, animal!
07:15Okay.
07:16Um, okay, uh, you can all sit down.
07:20And now we'll, um, uh, now we will, uh, what do we do now, Scooter?
07:27I think we need two lawyers.
07:29One guy who thinks Gonzo did it.
07:32Uh, Skeeter, since you found Camilla, you should be that guy.
07:35Oh, well, okay.
07:37Then we need another lawyer who thinks he didn't do it.
07:40Uh, okay.
07:41Uh, who wants to be the guy who defends Gonzo?
07:44Uh, well, maybe we have one.
07:47I'll hold it all, Mr. Massey.
07:48Don't bother!
07:50Huh?
07:51I'm gonna defend myself!
07:53See, Gonzo, do you think that's a good idea?
07:56Sure!
07:57I mean, listen, what could go wrong?
08:00Sheesh.
08:01Okay, then, uh, let's begin.
08:04Judge Hapner, I would like to call my first witness.
08:07Uh, sure, Skeeter, go ahead.
08:09Gonzo!
08:11Okay!
08:12I hear you!
08:14Yes, yes, yes, yes, he's already running through him.
08:17Sit down!
08:18What?
08:19Whoa!
08:20Thanks, animal.
08:21Welcome.
08:23Could you please state your full name for the court?
08:26Huh?
08:27Uh, Skeeter, we all know Gonzo's name.
08:30Oh, okay.
08:31Skip that.
08:33Isn't it true, Gonzo, that you broke Nanny's cookie jar?
08:36No.
08:37Okay.
08:38Then isn't it true that you once stole one of Piggy's cupcakes from her secret stash?
08:44Well, yes, but...
08:46What?
08:47And isn't it true that you are nothing but a low-down, two-faced, dirty, sneaky weirdo?
08:53Oh!
08:54Hey!
08:55Nothing personal, Gonzo, who was once the leader of the meanest gang of all time?
09:00Huh?
09:02Isn't it true, Gonzo, that you are none other than the cookie-nobbing criminal?
09:08Ow!
09:08Weird-faced, Capone!
09:11Wah-wah!
09:12Are you?
09:13Uh-huh.
09:15All right, girls.
09:16Here's the plan.
09:17In precisely one hour and three minutes, we will enter the first national cookie bank.
09:24Red?
09:24Eh?
09:25You and Leghorn here, hand out tuna salad sandwiches to the customers while Camilla and I take care
09:32of knapping the cookies.
09:34You got that?
09:34Eh?
09:35Oh-ha!
09:36Okay, everybody.
09:37Let's synchronize our clocks.
09:39Huh?
09:40Huh?
09:40Huh?
09:41Huh?
09:41Huh?
09:43Huh?
09:48Huh?
09:51Huh?
09:53Huh?
09:53Huh?
09:54Huh?
09:57Huh?
09:58Huh?
09:59Huh?
10:03Huh?
10:04Huh?
10:04Huh?
10:05Huh?
10:06Huh?
10:07Huh?
10:07You said it, Camilla.
10:09Peanut butter crutches are my favorite, too!
10:12Ugh!
10:12Oh, no. What's that?
10:14Okay, Capone. We know you're in there.
10:18Don't tell me. It's... it's...
10:22Scary old Mac in the young field.
10:24Hey, I asked you not to tell me.
10:29You can say that again, Camilla.
10:32It looks like the end.
10:35Put your hands up, Capone. We've got to push around.
10:39Oh, yeah? You'll never get me alive, Copper.
10:48And so, with full knowledge of what you were doing,
10:53you broke a poor defenseman's cookie jar and stole all the cookies.
10:57I did?
10:58Are you kidding? There's guilt written all over your face.
11:02There is? I don't see anything.
11:06Uh, jeez, Skeeter. You're being kind of hard on him, aren't you?
11:10Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Gonzo. Nothing personal.
11:15Don't mention it.
11:16Your witness.
11:17My witness? What does that mean?
11:20That means it's your turn to ask the witness questions, Gonzo.
11:24Oh, good idea.
11:28There are a few things I want to clear up here.
11:35First of all, where was I when the cookie jar broke?
11:41I was sitting in the nursery.
11:44Was I sitting or was I standing?
11:49I'm not sure.
11:52I'm not sure.
11:55Well, I...
11:57Do we really expect us to believe us
12:01when we can't even remember if we were sitting or standing?
12:05Hmm?
12:06This is ridiculous.
12:08Gonzo's lawyer is crap.
12:11Yeah, and his client could use a little glue, too.
12:13So, which is it?
12:15Was I sitting or was I standing?
12:18Uh, Gonzo?
12:20Uh, yes?
12:22Yes?
12:23Um, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to stop picking on yourself.
12:27Uh, oh, yes, Your Honor.
12:31Thank you, Your Honor.
12:33Shh.
12:34Do you understand any of this?
12:36Judge Huckner, I have just one more question for me.
12:41If I did break the cookie jar and told everybody I didn't,
12:45but they all said I did,
12:46would I tell me that I did or that I didn't?
12:49Well, I, uh...
12:51Could you repeat the question?
12:53Hello, Nat.
12:55Uh, Gonzo,
12:56could you and Skeeter please approach the bench?
12:59Yes, Your Honor.
13:00Uh, certainly, Your Honor, sir.
13:03Um, Gonzo,
13:04I don't think it's going too well for you.
13:07Oh, really?
13:08I thought I was winning.
13:10Uh, no, I don't think so, Gonzo.
13:13As a matter of fact,
13:14I think it would take the greatest lawyer in the world to get you off now.
13:19Excusez-moi, Your Honor.
13:21Huh?
13:22I am Piggy Mason,
13:25the greatest lawyer in the world who has never lost a case.
13:29Piggy, I thought you'd never get here.
13:32And with great wit, charm, and beauty,
13:36I will defend this poor, helpless, and not-too-griding weirdo.
13:42Huh?
13:43Wow, Piggy Mason.
13:46Thank you, Rolf.
13:47Thank you, Rolf.
13:49No problem.
13:50May I speak to my client for a moment, Your Honor?
13:53Uh, sure, Piggy.
13:55Whoa!
13:56Whoa!
13:57Whoa!
13:57Whoa!
13:57Don't worry, Gonzo.
13:58I've never lost a case yet.
14:00Whoa!
14:01Whoa!
14:02Whoa!
14:02Very great!
14:03Of course, you're my first case.
14:04Whoa!
14:05The first thing we've got to do is find a whipple.
14:08Oh, Bozzie!
14:09Yeah?
14:10Come here, please.
14:11Sure, Piggy.
14:14Bozzie, go find me a witness.
14:16A what-ness?
14:17A witness!
14:18You know, someone who saw the cookie jar break.
14:21Um, how do I do that?
14:23How should I know?
14:25Do I have to think of everything?
14:27Just do it!
14:28Okay, okay.
14:30A witness!
14:32Here, witness!
14:33Witness!
14:33Witness!
14:34Where are you, witness?
14:35Oh, boy.
14:36Uh, Piggy, would you like to call your first witness?
14:40Yes, Kermie.
14:41I mean, your honor.
14:42I call Scooter to the stand.
14:45Huh?
14:46Please take the stand.
14:50I am.
14:51Ugh!
14:52Take stand!
14:53Take stand!
14:54Not you, animal!
14:56Scooter!
14:57Huh?
14:59Sorry.
15:00Thank you, Kermie.
15:01I mean, your honor.
15:03Now, Scooter, would you please describe in your own words for the court your good, sweet,
15:09dear friend Gonzo?
15:11Huh?
15:12Well, he's kinda...
15:14Good?
15:15Well...
15:16Sweet?
15:17Well...
15:17Dear?
15:18Uh, Piggy, you can't tell him what to say.
15:22Um, I think Scooter's right, Piggy.
15:25Well, I was just offering some suggestions, your honor.
15:28Uh-huh.
15:29Uh, now, Scooter, please tell us in your own words.
15:33What do you think of Gonzo?
15:35Well, um, how about, uh, weird?
15:40What?
15:40Ah, thanks, Scooter.
15:42I knew you'd come through.
15:44I can!
15:45Now, Scooter, tell us about the time Gonzo saved your life.
15:51Huh?
15:51Remember?
15:52Animal had climbed to the top of the bookcase.
15:57Oh, yeah.
15:59Animal must have been five feet...
16:02Five hundred feet high!
16:05Oh, yeah.
16:08Piggy!
16:10Oh, you climbed up to save him.
16:12I'm coming, Animal!
16:17And when you finally reached him...
16:19Yeah?
16:20Uh, then what?
16:21Something terrible happened, didn't it, Scooter?
16:25It did?
16:26Certainly.
16:27Just listen to the music, silly.
16:31Oh, yeah.
16:33Um, what was it again?
16:35There you were.
16:36At the top of the bookcase,
16:38when all of a sudden it started to rain violently.
16:42Huh?
16:43The winds were blowing!
16:45The thunder crashed!
16:47The lightning lightning!
16:48And who came to your rescue?
16:51I have a clue.
16:53Why, none other!
16:54A good, sweet, brave deer!
16:57Piggy!
16:58No!
16:59Gonzo!
17:00Disappear!
17:02Good, sweet, brave deer!
17:04Gonzo is here!
17:07Yeah!
17:10Oh, thank you, Gonzo!
17:14Wow!
17:16What a good, sweet, brave...
17:18Hey, just a big, fat second, Scooter.
17:21Huh?
17:21Who does that fire truck belong to?
17:24Oh, gee, I guess it's Kermit's.
17:27And did Gonzo ask to use it?
17:30Well, no.
17:32Irrelevant!
17:32Immaterial!
17:33I object!
17:34I plead the fifth!
17:35I plead the sixth!
17:37Which way to Grandma's house?
17:39Order in the car!
17:40Order in the car!
17:42Salami and marshmallows on rye!
17:44And hold the pickles!
17:46Gonzo, you're gonna have to keep quiet!
17:49Oh!
17:51Hmm!
17:51Sorry, Judge Hopper!
17:53I think it's going rather well, Pinky-Doh-Pew!
17:56Not good enough!
17:57I wonder what happened to Fozzie?
17:59A witness!
18:00Where are you?
18:01Gosh, I can't find a witness anywhere!
18:04What is a witness, anyway?
18:06Oh, well!
18:07Witness!
18:08Yo, witness!
18:10Gee, maybe there's one down here!
18:13Witness!
18:14Yoo-hoo, are you in here?
18:16Witness?
18:18No?
18:21Who's there?
18:22Is that your witness?
18:24You might as well talk!
18:25We'll get it out of you one way or another!
18:28What are you trying to hide?
18:29Who are you protecting?
18:31Think to me!
18:32Uh, Piggy, I don't think the witness is gonna talk!
18:36Maybe you're right, Your Honor!
18:37You're excused!
18:39I think she's checking!
18:40Is there anyone else you wanted to question, Piggy?
18:43Well, I was hoping Fozzie would bring in my surprise witness, but never mind!
18:48Okay, um, I guess it's time to decide!
18:51Your Honor, in a conclusion, I just wanna say that Gonzo is the meanest, ratinest, speediest criminal in the whole
19:04wide world!
19:05And the nursery, too!
19:06Wait a minute!
19:08Sorry, Gonzo, nothing personal!
19:11Oh, sure, don't mention it!
19:13Your Honor, look at that sweet blue face!
19:17This is the face of a beautiful, sweet, kind person!
19:21A person who we've all grown up with!
19:24Who doesn't have an evil bone in his miserable little body!
19:30Right, Gonzo?
19:32You see?
19:33Thank you!
19:35Perfect!
19:36Don't send him away, Your Honor!
19:38Give him another chance!
19:40Please!
19:41Please!
19:42Please!
19:42Please!
19:43Your Honor!
19:44Um, the end?
19:46Gee, that was great, Piggy!
19:49Um, now what do we do, Scooter?
19:51Well, now you have to decide if Gonzo's innocent or guilty!
19:56Uh, me?
19:57Uh-huh!
19:58Hmm...
19:59Well, um, let's see, uh, Skeeter did find Camilla by the broken cookie jar...
20:05Yes?
20:06Uh-huh!
20:07And Gonzo's the only one without an alibi!
20:09Yes!
20:10So I think Gonzo is, um, is, um...
20:15Gonzo is what?
20:16Is what?
20:17Is what?
20:18What?
20:18I think Gonzo's innocent!
20:20Huh?
20:21Hurray!
20:23Let's go!
20:24Oh!
20:25What?
20:26I mean, no one really saw who broke the cookie jar.
20:30And if Gonzo says he's innocent, we should believe him.
20:33That's all.
20:37Good job, Piggy!
20:39Why, thank you!
20:40You didn't do too bad yourself, Skeeter!
20:42Thanks!
20:43And congratulations to you too, Gonzo!
20:46Thanks, Skeeter!
20:47But I knew you'd never win!
20:49Huh?
20:50Nothing personal, though.
20:52Sure, don't mention it.
20:55Piggy! Piggy!
20:57I found a witness!
20:59You're too late, Fozzie!
21:01The trial is over!
21:02Aw, gee.
21:04Uh, don't you want to meet my witness anyway?
21:06Who is it, Fozzie?
21:08Uh, hi, kids.
21:10Annie?
21:11Isn't she a great witness?
21:13And she knows who broke the cookie jar, too!
21:16She knows?
21:17Uh-huh.
21:18Right, Nanny?
21:19That's right, Fozzie.
21:20It was me.
21:22It was?
21:23Uh-huh.
21:24Oh, no!
21:25I was framed by my own Nanny!
21:28Well, how come I found Camilla by the broken cookie jar?
21:32Well, Skeeter, I had just washed her.
21:35You did?
21:36Uh-huh.
21:36And I guess I dropped her there when the cookie jar fell.
21:39I'm sorry, Gonzo.
21:41That's okay, Nanny.
21:43Gee, I guess we never really believed Gonzo did.
21:46Well, I found her old cookie jar in the basement
21:49and I just filled it with some brand new cookies.
21:53Who wants them?
21:54Me!
21:54Me!
21:56Hey, Piggy.
21:58Thanks for defending me.
21:59I never knew you cared so much.
22:02How can I ever repay you?
22:05Well, you can start by paying your bills.
22:09Huh?
22:09But, but, I am jerked.
22:13Yeah.
22:14Yeah.
22:52And after making my closing statement on behalf of my client, me, I hope you, the jury, will consider my
23:01innocence and enter the proper verdict on this sweet, good, and dear weirdo.
23:08What?
23:09Me! So what's the verdict?
23:12Oh, baby!
23:13I'm sorry.
23:14What?
23:15No! No, you can't do this! I'm innocent! Help! No, let go!
23:21Help!
23:21No, let go!
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