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  • 8 hours ago
Jasmine and Andy met on a Christian dating app and quickly became inseparable. Andy, a stand-up comedian who uses his platform to teach about HIV and AIDS, was born HIV-positive after his mother contracted the virus from a previous partner. For years, he struggled with dating because of the stigma. A month into dating, he told Jasmine about his status, explaining that he’s undetectable and cannot transmit HIV by taking daily medication. Though it shocked her at first, Jasmine’s medical background helped her understand, and she chose to continue the relationship. Even after getting married, the couple are hit with constant online judgement, with people calling Jasmine “desperate,” saying she’s ruining her life, and insisting she’ll eventually catch HIV. Others go as far as claiming they shouldn’t have children at all. As they begin planning for a baby, Jasmine prepares to tell her uncle the truth about Andy’s status for the first time… how will he react?

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Transcript
00:00I married a man with HIV and now we are trying for our baby.
00:04We got a lot of hateration.
00:06We're destroying her life by being with her.
00:09That I'm desperate or that I'm stupid.
00:12I could take her from you.
00:14We can make normal babies together.
00:16A lot of my family and friends do not know.
00:20Today I've decided to tell my Uncle Mark about Andy's positive HIV status.
00:26I'm nervous. I'm pretty nervous.
00:30So Uncle Mark, there's something that we actually brought you over here for.
00:34My name is Jasmine.
00:35My name is Andy Feds.
00:37I am 26 years old and I'm a medical assistant.
00:41I am 33 years old and I'm a stand-up comedian.
00:44My name is Andy Feds. I'm the first ever openly HIV-positive born stand-up comedian.
00:48Do you have to take care of your medicine yet today?
00:50I'm about to do it right now.
00:52Andy and I met on a dating app.
00:55I realized I was attracted to her as soon as I saw her photos.
00:58I was like, do y'all see her?
01:00Like, shit.
01:01Immediately, swipe right.
01:03It was initial attraction for sure.
01:07When we first met, we were literally glued to the hip.
01:10And he never left my apartment, so we've literally been stuck together since.
01:15I wasn't homeless, y'all.
01:18Andy told me about his HIV status about a month into us getting to know each other.
01:26I was very shocked.
01:28So, I manage my virus by making sure that I take my two pills, which is Tivacay and Proscobix.
01:36I didn't want to stop talking to him because of his status.
01:40I did want to see where things would lead to.
01:43I go to the doctor maybe about every six months.
01:47And that's just to make sure that my medication is working.
01:50My blood test is still good.
01:52My undetectable status is still there.
01:54Undetectable means untransmittable, which means that there's literally a less than 0% chance to transmit to Jasmine.
02:00I have been undetectable for a couple of years now.
02:03We also use contraceptives, making sure that there's no way that she can, you know, contract HIV from me.
02:10I contracted HIV from my mother through birth.
02:14Do you hold any resentment towards your mom for not taking her medication?
02:20She didn't know how to handle it.
02:22She didn't know how to, you know, deal with the backlash of people finding out about her status.
02:28And I think that ultimately led to her just being scared to get the help, being scared to take care
02:33of herself.
02:34And unfortunately, she made the decisions that she did.
02:38And, you know, she's not here because of it.
02:40But I think that's why, like, I love doing what I do because there are tons of people like my
02:45mom that, you know,
02:46when they find out about their status, they're not getting that help that they need.
02:50They don't know where to turn for that support.
02:52It has not been any different.
02:54He's the best man I've ever been with in my entire life.
02:59He's my best friend.
03:01And now, I mean, obviously, I don't care.
03:04I married the man.
03:04I love the man.
03:05I honestly forget that he has it.
03:07I forget, too.
03:08Literally until I have to take my medication, that's when I realize, oh, yeah, I got HIV.
03:15So, babe, you ready for Uncle Mark to make his way over here?
03:21Yeah, getting ready.
03:23I'm a little nervous.
03:24Today, I've decided to tell my Uncle Mark about Andy's positive HIV status.
03:30I have not told many family members about Andy's virus because I'm nervous about a negative reaction.
03:42Hey!
03:43Hi!
03:43Come on in!
03:44How are you?
03:45I'm good. How are you?
03:49So, Uncle Mark, there's something that we actually brought you over here for because there's something that I haven't really
03:56shared with Jasmine's family.
03:57And it's that with my stand-up comedy that I've been doing for 13 years, I actually talk about HIV
04:04and AIDS.
04:04And it's simply because I was born HIV positive.
04:09And so, I used my mom's story, who, you know, she contracted it from a boyfriend who never told her.
04:16And then she wound up passing away when I was five and she was 26.
04:20So, I see you were in the hospital in this picture.
04:23Is this when you found out you were diagnosed?
04:25Um, no.
04:27I really didn't know that I had HIV until I was like five.
04:31You know, my mom passed away after the funeral.
04:34That's when I really started to, you know, ask my grandma, hey, why am I constantly going to the doctor?
04:39Why am I taking these medications?
04:40Were you scared?
04:42Um, I don't think I was really scared because I don't think I really understood at the time.
04:46So, it was just normal for me.
04:49So, we wanted to just, I guess, start off with the conversations, um, with Jasmine's family about, you know, my
04:56status and how you might feel about that.
04:59Well, that's perfectly fine.
05:02Um, you know, that's really not an issue.
05:04I think Jasmine's family is the most accepting family of anything.
05:09It's, I mean, it is a big deal to you guys, but letting your family know.
05:13But, um, you know, um, I'm a lot older.
05:16I've been through all this.
05:18Uh, I, I know that, um, things like that.
05:21Um, yeah, we, we just move on and you learn from that.
05:24It's exactly what you're saying.
05:26So, yeah.
05:26Yeah.
05:27As a teenager, did you feel scared when you saw your peers around you dating and you knew that you
05:35probably couldn't?
05:36I think I was scared.
05:38A lot of people looked at, you know, HIV as a sick thing.
05:41So, you know, uh, I looked at it as a sick thing when I shouldn't have.
05:45I actually didn't date until I was maybe in my twenties.
05:50A lot of misconceptions that I faced about the virus is maybe he might be gay or he's always sick
05:55or he's about to die soon.
05:57In my mind, it was just like, ain't nobody going to want to date me.
06:00As I got older, I was just like, you know what? He's him.
06:05Like, let's go ahead and start dating.
06:07There were times where, you know, things were going great and then the HIV conversation came up and it didn't
06:14work out.
06:14We've been thinking about trying to, you know, have a baby soon.
06:18For certain that the baby won't have HIV.
06:22Yeah. So, with PrEP, it's basically like the birth control pill for HIV.
06:27And so it's basically blocked that virus from entering the body.
06:30As long as Jasmine doesn't contract HIV, then the baby won't contract HIV as well.
06:35I do a lot of, you know, social media work talking about HIV and AIDS.
06:39And a lot of times people were just like, well, you being selfish or are you putting that woman in
06:44harm?
06:45We got a lot of like hating people, you know, the hateration.
06:48Let's hit her with a troll face. Ready?
06:50All right, here we go.
06:50Why would she be with somebody that's HIV positive?
06:54That I'm desperate or that I'm stupid and I'm ruining my life being with him.
07:00This person says, sheesh, is this to be normalized? I'm confused.
07:04I wouldn't date you if he was the last man on earth.
07:06Things like, oh, I could take her from you. We can make normal babies together.
07:13I can too.
07:15It just seems so sad that here we are, 2026, and it's, you know, the thing years ago.
07:24Just very ignorant people.
07:27I'm glad you, you know, aren't judgmental as some people are.
07:31Well, thank you for sharing that.
07:32Absolutely.
07:32I feel kind of privileged and honored that I'm the first one that you're told, so.
07:37She really completes me.
07:39We meshed together so well from the moment we met.
07:43If you saw our chemistry, like, even from the beginning, everything is all around just rainbows and sunshine.
07:50You make me feel safe, you know, despite my diagnosis.
07:56With modern medication, you know, people can live healthy, normal lives.
08:01So it's absolutely no big deal.
08:04You want to know what else I feel good about?
08:06What?
08:06This.
08:08What I would say to people that judge our relationship is like, you must be lonely, huh?
08:12Because this is like a perfect relationship.
08:15If you don't have anything nice to say about it...
08:18Don't say it at all.
08:19Don't say anything.
08:20Don't say anything nice.
08:35lsрип
08:35You
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