- 6 hours ago
14-YEAR-OLD Londyn lives with her parents Brandi and Marty, who are in a "lavender marriage" - Brandi is a straight woman and Marty is a gay man. When they met at a friend's barbecue 18 years ago, Marty immediately came out to Brandi and became her "new gay best friend" - but after kissing one night, the couple soon found themselves in a relationship. In 2011, Marty and Brandi got married and the couple had their daughter Londyn the same year. For over a decade, they kept Marty's sexuality a secret, as Brandi explained to Truly: "For 14 years, we did live a straight, married life." But during the Covid-19 lockdowns, with time to reflect, Marty decided he wanted to live authentically as a gay man - meaning he needed to come out again, this time to Londyn. As Marty explained, this was a daunting prospect: "I was very worried about telling Londyn, it took almost two years for me to actually come out to her." The news caught Londyn by surprise, but her primary concern was whether her parents would be filing for divorce. When they explained that they wanted to continue living as a family (the only difference being that Marty and Brandi would sleep in different rooms) it seemed like the family had nothing more to worry about. But when they began telling friends and neighbours, they were quickly shunned - as Marty recalled: "Our normal friend group continued to have barbecues and pool parties and we no longer got that invite." And, unfortunately, this included their daughter's peers - Londyn suddenly found that she "randomly got left" by childhood friends she had been close with for years. When Marty then decided to share the family's "lavender life" on social media, the backlash intensified - with people suggesting that Londyn must be "confused" by her parents' unconventional relationship and others telling them to "leave her out of this." And with Brandi's co-workers visiting the family home to meet Marty for the first time today, will there be even more difficult questions for the lavender couple to answer?
Follow the family:
https://linktr.ee/LavLLMA
https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmcmartyfly
https://www.instagram.com/itsmcmartyfly
https://www.youtube.com/@itsmcmartyfly
https://www.llma.life
Follow the family:
https://linktr.ee/LavLLMA
https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmcmartyfly
https://www.instagram.com/itsmcmartyfly
https://www.youtube.com/@itsmcmartyfly
https://www.llma.life
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NewsTranscript
00:00My dad is gay. My mom is straight. Their marriage cost me my friends. I just randomly got left.
00:06For years, we lived like a straight couple.
00:09There was pressure to keep it secret, and it started to just eat away at me.
00:12Friends across the street stopped talking to us after Marty came out.
00:16Just like that, overnight, we lost that entire friend group.
00:20People do criticize us for having a child.
00:22This kid must be so confused. She's 14. Leave her out of this.
00:29How has it impacted London at all?
00:37Welcome to my Lavender Life. Come see what it's like to live with a gay husband.
00:42I'm Brandy. And I'm Marty. And we're married with a child.
00:46And I'm a gay man. Brandy? Hey.
00:49Hi.
00:49Do you guys ever miss sharing a bedroom with each other?
00:52I absolutely do not miss sharing a bedroom with him.
00:56I have my own space. I keep it clean.
00:58He is a dirty person.
01:00Most men are.
01:02We met each other in 2008 at a barbecue.
01:05Loved his energy. He was the life of the party.
01:07He came out to me at that same barbecue that we met.
01:10Five minutes later, she was like, you're my new gay best friend.
01:13Then one night, we became intimate, and we were, you know, we locked eyes, and we started kissing.
01:20I was openly gay at the time, but we just kind of like threw that in the closet, if you
01:24will.
01:25We started dating, and then that progressed. I proposed to her on a ski lift going up the mountain.
01:31We got to the top, and I dropped down and asked her to marry me, and the rest is history.
01:36We got married in 2011, and had London in 2011 as well.
01:40This is London's wing. London?
01:44Yeah.
01:45Hi.
01:46Hi.
01:46This is my daughter, London. She's 14, and this is her glam room.
01:50Hi.
01:51I'm going to show my room. Why don't you get changed, and then we'll go get glammed.
01:54Okay. Sounds good to me.
01:56For 14 years, we did live a straight married life.
02:01When you're thinking about every word that comes out of your mouth, when you're pretending to like football or sports,
02:06because that's what all the neighborhood guys are into, that, over time, starts to really weigh on you.
02:12And specifically during COVID, I really started to think about my life, and I was scrolling through TikTok,
02:17and I think within about five minutes, the algorithm had me pegged as gay.
02:21And that's kind of what started the unwinding, if you will, to our now openly lavender marriage.
02:27We still do everything together, like a normal family. At the end of the night, we just go in our
02:32separate rooms.
02:34And then in my bedroom, it's not quite as luxurious as theirs.
02:38I have more of a teenager situation going on here, and I share with Dior, he's the only man in
02:43my bed.
02:44How did you break the news to London?
02:46I was very worried about telling London.
02:48It took almost two years for me to actually come out to her.
02:52In my mind, I blew up the whole scenario.
02:54I imagined her getting bullied at school.
02:56I didn't want her to look back on her years with us and think everything was this facade.
03:02Okay, we're going to do a little lavender TikTok. You ready?
03:05Keep going.
03:05All right.
03:06Point to the person who has a full opinion about everyone's life choices but won't clean their room.
03:13Can't disagree with that.
03:15Point to the person who cried at the last three movies that we watched.
03:22How did it feel to find out that your dad was gay?
03:24I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what. I definitely didn't expect that he would be gay.
03:29Because I cried before.
03:30I kind of thought it was a joke, and I was just like, ha ha. And then I was like,
03:34oh wait, he's not kidding.
03:37All right, girls. We've got the silver. We've got the gold. And we've got some free Korean skincare from TikTok.
03:43Jeez.
03:44That's how they do it on TikTok.
03:46He came out to me after we went to the mall. Went shopping, and then we went to dinner.
03:50Retail therapy is what they say, right?
03:52So I just did the therapy first and then wrote the news to you.
03:56Yeah.
03:56Hoping that it would lighten the load.
03:57Yeah.
03:59When I initially had told the neighbors that I was very good friends with, almost immediately I didn't hear from
04:05them at all.
04:06Our normal friend group of people continued to go over and have barbecues and pool parties, and we no longer
04:11got that invite.
04:12It definitely shocked a few of my friends, especially when I told them that both my parents were still living
04:17in the same household.
04:18I just randomly got left. They were like my childhood best friends, and I was so close with them.
04:24So to lose them was definitely hard.
04:26I honestly feel like our relationship is a lot better with me and my family, and I honestly, I wouldn't
04:33change it for anything.
04:34We're all just closer and more connected, you know?
04:37Well, we're real.
04:39Yeah.
04:40That'll do it. It's good for you. It adds to it. Come on. You guys are haters.
04:47When and why did you decide to start sharing your family's story on social media?
04:50There was a lavender marriage trend, and he's a gay man who's married to another man.
04:55And I jokingly jumped on and was like, you're this make-believe world of what a lavender marriage would look
05:01like.
05:02Let me talk about what it really looks like.
05:04Right. I need to talk about lavender marriages.
05:06And the response that I got, number one, from women who were saying, sign me up, sign me up.
05:12What is going on that so many women want to marry a gay man?
05:15Most women don't actually need romance. They need a partner.
05:18Also, from men who were in this situation who hadn't had that conversation or been honest,
05:25it really, really convicted me to continue sharing and show people that there is another way.
05:31Have we ever gotten negative comments on our post?
05:33Have we gotten negative comments?
05:35Yeah.
05:35Oh, the haters run deep. Yeah.
05:37You want to check some out?
05:38Yeah.
05:39This will never be normalized. This is not healthy, normal, or natural.
05:46I feel like it's more natural than not.
05:49I can't believe that you don't have sex.
05:51I can't believe you don't want to be intimate with anyone.
05:54That's not normal. That's not right.
05:56When really, how often are they even having sex with their husband and or do they even like it?
06:02She's 14. Leave her out of this.
06:05This kid must be so confused.
06:09What would I be confused about?
06:11As long as you guys are happy, I'm happy.
06:13Yeah. Oh, here's one for you.
06:15Okay.
06:15That's not a marriage. It's a business relationship.
06:18Oh.
06:19Marriage is kind of a business relationship anyways, isn't it?
06:22Yeah. You can call it a business all day long. I'll take it. And I'm successful too.
06:29Sometimes I let the hate get to me.
06:30I think for me, the biggest thing is I have had to learn that I don't need to prove myself
06:35to anybody.
06:35Today, my co-worker is coming over. It will be interesting to compare my lavender marriage and his gay marriage.
06:41I just can't get enough of the gays.
06:43I love the gays.
06:45Hi, guys.
06:46We rock in.
06:47That's so nice. Thank you.
06:49Come on in.
06:51But Skylar doesn't know that you actually came out originally.
06:54Oh.
06:55I thought you just came out recently.
06:57No.
06:57Yeah, well, I did.
06:58But I thought that was the first time that you just decided.
06:59So we met in 2008, and I was actually the first person that he came out to.
07:04First person, like, ever.
07:05Ever.
07:05I've never put my head down in a bed next to a man and woke up the next day ever
07:08in my life.
07:09Still to this day.
07:10Still to this day.
07:10This was one of the first women that, like, didn't care and just really always saw me for me, and
07:15that felt like love. That was love.
07:18I'm curious, like, how has it impacted London at all?
07:22The only thing that she didn't want was a divorce from us, and she was asking, so now I have
07:27to live in separate homes?
07:28Well, I was going to say, I think it would have impacted her a lot more if you had said,
07:33hey, I'm gay, and because of this, we have to split up.
07:36And your whole life has changed, but committing again to each other in that lavender marriage, her life hasn't really
07:41changed.
07:41You're both still here as a family.
07:43She gets to come home every day and wake up every morning knowing that, like, my mom and dad, no
07:48matter who they end up with, like, they've chosen me.
07:51They've chosen to, like, create a safe family.
07:53Even though it's not a romantic relationship, that's my person, and he always will be.
07:58What's the long goal for you?
08:00Yeah, who knows?
08:01But I would like to date eventually and have a boyfriend and experience all that, and I would like that
08:05for her as well, too.
08:06I would like to have another gay friend.
08:10You're up.
08:12Is there anything that you wish you could have done differently, or?
08:15I regret absolutely nothing.
08:17Starting my family, raising my daughter, getting married to Brandy, I would not change it for the world.
08:23London sees a good, healthy family, and she's growing up with parents that are teaching her to be authentic.
08:29I know my parents are happy, and that makes me happy.
08:31And it really is just a normal family with one tiny little tweak.
08:36What would you say if people would feel sorry for you?
08:39You have nothing to be sorry for.
08:41My life is probably better than yours.
08:43In the nicest way.
08:46Like, okay?
08:47I say live your own life.
08:48Who cares what other people think?
08:50You do you?
08:52Boo-boo.
08:52Boo-boo.
08:54I feel like the best part about being a parent in a lavender marriage is I get to do all
08:58of this with my best friend.
09:00Raising a daughter when there's mutual respect, honesty, communication, having fun.
09:07One of the best aspects of being a parent in a lavender marriage is that I am a parent, right?
09:12I'm a gay man who was given this gift of being able to be a father.
09:16That makes me want to choke up a little bit.
09:17But, um, so, you know, that's something that I'm really grateful for.
09:20Sorry.
09:24Well, don't make me cry.
09:26I gotta redo that.
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