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مسلسل The Big Bang Theory مترجم - Episode 2
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00:00Here you go. Pad Thai, no peanut.
00:03Does it have peanut oil?
00:04I'm not sure. Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up.
00:10Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.
00:14Are there any chopsticks?
00:15You don't need chopsticks. This is Thai food.
00:16Here we go.
00:18Thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th century.
00:21Interestingly, they don't actually put the fork in their mouth.
00:23They use it to put the food on a spoon, which then goes into their mouth.
00:27Ask him for a napkin. I dare you.
00:31I'll get it.
00:33Do I look puffy? I feel puffy.
00:36Hey, Leonard.
00:37Oh, hi, Penny.
00:38Am I interrupting?
00:39No.
00:39You're not swelling, Howard.
00:41No, no. Look at my fingers. They're like Vienna sausages.
00:44Sounds like you have company.
00:45They're not going anywhere.
00:48So, you're coming home from work. That's great. How was work?
00:51Well, you know, it's a cheesecake factory. People order cheesecake and I bring it to them.
00:55So, you kind of act as like a carbohydrate delivery system.
01:02Yeah. Call it whatever you want. I get minimum wage.
01:05Yeah.
01:07Anyways, I was wondering if you could help me out with something.
01:09Yes.
01:09Oh.
01:11Okay, great. I'm having some furniture delivered tomorrow and I may not be here, so...
01:15Oh.
01:16Hello.
01:22I'm sorry?
01:24Haven't you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian?
01:27No, I haven't.
01:28Get used to it.
01:30Yeah, I probably won't.
01:33Hey, Sheldon.
01:34Hi.
01:34Hey, Raj.
01:37Still not talking to me, huh?
01:39Don't take it personally. It's his pathology. He can't talk to women.
01:42He can't talk to attractive women, or in your case, a cheesecake-scented goddess.
01:48So, there's going to be some furniture delivered?
01:50Yeah, yeah. If it gets here and I'm not here tomorrow, could you just sign for it and have them
01:53put them in my apartment?
01:54Yeah, no problem.
01:55Great. Here's my spare key. Thank you.
02:00Honey, wait.
02:00Yeah.
02:03Um, if you don't have any other plans, do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman
02:08movie marathon?
02:09A marathon? Wow, how many Superman movies are there?
02:12You're kidding, right?
02:15You know, I do like the one where Lois Lane falls from the helicopter and Superman swooshes down and catches
02:20her. Which one was that?
02:21One.
02:23You realize that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy.
02:26Yes, I know. Men can't fly.
02:28No, no. Let's assume that they can.
02:32Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second.
02:36Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel.
02:39Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately sliced into three
02:44equal pieces.
02:48Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.
02:51In what space, sir? In what space? She's two feet above the ground.
02:55Frankly, if he really loved her, he'd let her hit the pavement. It'd be a more merciful death.
03:00Excuse me, your entire argument is predicated on the assumption that Superman's flight is a feat of strength.
03:06Are you listening to yourself? It is well established that Superman's flight is a feat of strength.
03:11It is an extension of his ability to leap tall buildings, an ability he derives from exposure to Earth's yellow
03:15sun.
03:16And you don't have a problem with it? How does he fly at night?
03:18A combination of the moon's solar reflection and the energy storage capacity of Kryptonian skin cells.
03:24I'm just going to go wash up.
03:26I have 2,600 comic books in there. I challenge you to find a single reference to Kryptonian skin cells.
03:32Challenge accepted.
03:37We're locked out.
03:39Also, they're pretty good left.
03:42Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 billion years ago, expansion started waving.
03:50The earth began to cool. The autotropes began to drool.
03:52Neanderthals developed tools. We built a wall.
03:55We built a pyramid.
03:56Math, science, history unraveling the mystery.
03:59It all started with a big bang.
04:01Hey!
04:06Okay.
04:07Her apartment's on the fourth floor, but the elevator's broken, so you're going to have to...
04:10Oh, you're just going to be done?
04:11Okay, cool. Thanks.
04:14I guess we'll just bring it up ourselves.
04:16I hardly think so.
04:19Why not?
04:20Well, we don't have a dolly or lifting belts or any measurable upper body strength.
04:26We don't need strength. We're physicists.
04:29We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes.
04:32Give me a fulcrum and a lever, and I can move the earth.
04:34It's just a matter of...
04:34I don't have this.
04:35I don't have this!
04:35I do not have this!
04:38Archimedes would be so proud.
04:46Do you have any ideas?
04:48Yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring.
04:53Easy.
04:55Easy.
04:59Okay.
05:00Now we've got an inclined plane.
05:02The force required to lift is reduced by the sign of the angle of the stairs.
05:06Call it 30 degrees, so about half.
05:08Exactly half.
05:11Exactly half.
05:14Let's push.
05:18Okay.
05:19See, it's moving. This is easy.
05:22All the math.
05:24What's your formula for the corner?
05:25What?
05:29Oh.
05:30Okay.
05:31Uh.
05:33Okay, yeah, no problem.
05:34Just come up here and help me pull and turn.
05:41Ah, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
05:46You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with
05:51this woman.
05:53Men do things for women without expecting sex.
05:56Yeah, those would be men who just had sex.
05:59I'm doing this to be a good neighbor.
06:02In any case, there's no way it could lower the odds.
06:07Almost there.
06:09Almost there.
06:11Almost there.
06:13No, we're not.
06:13No, we're not.
06:14No, we're not.
06:16Watch your fingers.
06:17Watch your fingers.
06:18Yeah.
06:18I've got my fingers.
06:22You okay?
06:23No.
06:24We heard great Caesar's ghost look at this place.
06:29So, Penny's a little messy.
06:31A little messy?
06:32The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy.
06:36This is chaos.
06:37Excuse me.
06:39Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid.
06:44And I'm just inferring that this is a couch because the evidence suggests the coffee table's having a tiny garage
06:49sale.
06:51Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organize, and label the entire
06:56world around them?
06:58No.
07:00Well, they don't.
07:02Hard as it may be for you to believe, most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
07:09Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.
07:15Come on, we should go.
07:16Hang on.
07:18What are you doing?
07:19I'm straightening up.
07:22Sheldon, this is not your home.
07:23No, this is not anyone's home.
07:24This is a swirling vortex of entropy.
07:29When the transvestite lived here, you didn't care how he kept the place.
07:32Because it was immaculate.
07:34I mean, you opened that man's closet, it was left to right.
07:37Evening gowns, cocktail dresses, and his police uniforms.
07:42What were you doing in his closet?
07:43I helped him run some cable for a webcam.
07:46Hey, guys.
07:47Oh, hey, Penny.
07:48This just arrived.
07:48We just brought this up.
07:49Just now.
07:50Great.
07:51Was it hard getting up the stairs?
07:52No.
07:53No?
07:54No.
07:55No.
07:56No.
07:58We'll get out of your hair.
07:59Okay, great.
08:00Thank you again.
08:05Penny, I just want you to know that you don't have to live like this.
08:10I'm here for you.
08:13What's he talking about?
08:16It's a joke.
08:17I don't get it.
08:18Yeah, he didn't tell it right.
08:30Sheldon?
08:36Sheldon?
08:43Sheldon?
08:45Sheldon?
09:15Penny's sleeping.
09:19are you insane you can't just break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night
09:23and clean i had no choice i couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our
09:29living room and just outside our living room was that hallway and immediately adjacent to
09:32that hallway was this do you realize that if penny wakes up there is no reasonable explanation as to
09:40why we're here i just gave you a reasonable explanation no no you gave me an explanation
09:47it's reasonable this will be determined by a jury of your peers don't be ridiculous i have no peers
09:55we have to get out of here
09:59you might want to speak in a lower register what evolution has made women sensitive to high
10:07pitch noises while they sleep so that they'll be roused by a crying baby if you want to avoid
10:11waking her speak in a lower register that's ridiculous
10:21no that's ridiculous
10:27fine
10:30i accept your premise now please let's go i'm not leaving until i'm done
10:39if you have time to lean you have time to clean
10:46oh what the hell
10:56morning morning i have to say i slept splendidly
11:02granted not long but just deeply and well
11:05i'm not surprised a well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbor's apartment and clean
11:13sarcasm
11:14you think
11:16granted my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox but
11:19i think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to penny's quality of life
11:23you know what you convinced me maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo or carpet
11:28you don't think that crosses a line
11:29yes
11:31for god's sake sheldon do i have to
11:33hold up a sarcasm sign every time i open my mouth
11:36you have a sarcasm sign
11:41no i do not have a sarcasm sign
11:44you want some cereal i feel so good today i'm gonna choose from the low fiber end of the shelf
11:48hello honeypuffs
11:51son of a bitch
11:54pennies up
11:56you sack of geeky bastards
12:00how did she know it was us
12:03i may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet
12:08Leonard
12:08god this is gonna be bad
12:10goodbye honeypuffs
12:11hello big brand
12:14you came into my apartment last night while i was sleeping
12:16yes but only to clean
12:18really more to organize
12:19you're not actually dirty per se
12:21give me back my key
12:24i'm very very sorry
12:26do you understand how creepy this is
12:28oh yes we discussed it at length last night
12:30in my apartment while i was sleeping
12:33and snoring
12:34and that's probably just a sinus infection
12:36but it could be sleep apnea
12:38you might want to see an otolaryngologist
12:42the throat doctor
12:45and what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses
12:50depending on the depth that's either
12:53a proctologist or a general surgeon
13:03oh
13:06good
13:06look no penny
13:07i think what you're feeling is perfectly valid
13:09and maybe a little bit later today
13:10when you're feeling a little less
13:11for lack of a better word
13:13violated
13:14maybe we can talk about this some more
13:15stay away from me
13:16sure that's another way to go
13:18penny penny
13:19hold on
13:20just to clarify because
13:22there will be a discussion when you leave
13:26is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping
13:30or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm
13:40well that was a little non-responsive
13:43you were going to march yourself over there right now and apologize
13:51what's funny
13:52did that wasn't sarcasm
13:55no
13:56oh boy you are all over the place this morning
14:03i have a master's and two phds
14:05i should not have to do this
14:08what
14:09i am truly sorry for what happened last night
14:12i take full responsibility
14:13and i hope that it won't color your opinion of leonard
14:16who is not only a wonderful guy
14:18but also i hear a gentle and thorough lover
14:35i did what i could
14:41hey rush
14:47hey listen
14:49i don't know if you heard about what happened last night with leonard and sheldon
14:51but i'm really upset about it
14:53i mean they just
14:54they let themselves into my place
14:55and then they cleaned it
14:56i mean can you even believe that
14:58how weird is it
14:59she's standing very close to me
15:02oh my she does smell good
15:04what is that
15:06vanilla
15:06well i mean you know
15:08where i come from
15:09if someone comes into your house at night
15:11you shoot
15:11okay
15:12and you don't shoot to wound
15:13i mean all right
15:14my sister shot her husband
15:15but it was an accident
15:16they were drunk
15:19what was i saying
15:21she's so chatty
15:23maybe my parents are right
15:25maybe i'd be better off with an indian girl
15:27we'd have the same cultural background
15:29and my wife could sing to my children
15:30the same lalabies my mother sang to me
15:32it's obvious that they met well
15:34but i'm just
15:34i'm having a really rough time
15:36like i said
15:36i broke up with my boyfriend
15:37and it's freaking me out
15:43i mean just because most of the men i've known in my life happen to be jerks
15:47doesn't mean i should just assume leonard and sheldon are
15:50right
15:52she asked me a question
15:53i should probably nod
15:57that's exactly what i thought
15:58thank you for listening
16:00you're a doll
16:02uh-oh
16:03turn your pelvis
16:18grab a napkin homie
16:20you just got served
16:24it's fine
16:25you win
16:27what's his problem
16:29his imaginary girlfriend broke up with him
16:33been there
16:37hello
16:38sorry i'm late
16:39but i was in the hallway chatting up penny
16:42really you
16:43rajesh kutrapali
16:45spoke to penny
16:46actually i was less the chatter than the chatty
16:49what did she say
16:50is she still mad at me
16:51well
16:52she was upset at first
16:53but
16:53probably because her sister shot somebody
16:58then there was something about you
16:59and
16:59then she hugged me
17:03hugged you
17:03how'd she hug you
17:13is that her perfume i smell
17:17intoxicating isn't it
17:34hi
17:36oh
17:37what's going on
17:40uh
17:41here's the thing
17:48penny
17:50just as oppenheimer came to regret his contributions to the first atomic bomb
17:54so too i regret my participation in what was at the very least an error in judgment
18:00the hallmark of the great human experiment is the willingness to recognize one's mistakes
18:05some mistakes such as madame curie's discovery of radium turned out to have great scientific potential even though she would
18:10later die a slow painful death from radiation poisoning
18:15another example from the field of ebola research
18:18letter
18:19yeah
18:23we're okay
18:45six two-inch dowels
18:46check
18:46one package phillips head screws
18:49check
18:49you guys seriously i grew up on a farm okay i rebuilt a tractor engine when i was like 12
18:53i think i can put together a cheap swedish media center please we insist it's the least we can do
18:59considering
18:59considering what how great this place looks
19:04oh boy i was afraid of this
19:05what
19:07these instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative way to assemble these components this right here is why
19:13sweden has no space program
19:16well it looks pretty good in the store
19:18it is an inefficient design for example penny has a flat screen tv which means all the space behind it
19:23is wasted
19:23we could put our stereo back there
19:25and control it out
19:26run an infrared repeater photo cell here emitter here easy peasy
19:31good point how you gonna cool it
19:33hey guys i got this
19:34hang on penny
19:35how about fans here
19:37and here
19:38also inefficient and might be loud
19:40how about liquid cool
19:40maybe a little aquarium pump here
19:42run some quarter inch pvc
19:44guys this is actually really simple
19:47hold on honey
19:48minute work
19:51pvc comes down here
19:52maybe a little corrugated sheet metal as a radiator here
19:54really show me where we put a drip tray
19:56a solution and overflow reservoir
19:58hey if water's involved
19:59we're gonna have to ground the crap out of the thing
20:01guys it's hot in here
20:02i think i'll just take off all my clothes
20:10oh i've got it
20:12what about if we replace panels a b and f and crossbar h with aircraft grade aluminum
20:17right then the entire thing's one big heat sink
20:19perfect leonard why don't you and shill and go down to the junkyard
20:21and pick up about six square meters of scrap aluminum raj
20:23and i'll run down to my lab and get the oxyacetylene torch
20:25meet back here in an hour
20:26done
20:26got it
20:31okay this place does look pretty good
20:58do
20:59it
21:00can't
21:00do
21:00that
21:00i
21:00do
21:00yeah
21:00what
21:01do
21:01f
21:01do
21:01you
21:03love
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