- 6 hours ago
مسلسل According to Jim مترجم - Episode 7
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TVTranscript
00:04hey what are you doing daddy said a bad word so we're making him take a time out for a
00:10whole hour
00:13oh wow sitting on the couch reading the paper that must be really hard for daddy
00:22well you know sure i kind of had it coming i mean the one thing that would make it worse
00:27is
00:27no it's too horrible all right i'll say it please girls don't force chips and beer on me
00:36chips and beer chips and beer no not the cold ones in the back
00:56come in girls
01:00what the hell happened all right kids i am so glad you're home the girls are still sick and i've
01:07got
01:07to pee i've been holding in all day where was that bladder control when we drove to wisconsin
01:17where's kyle on the washer
01:22hit the spin cycle it makes him sleepy
01:29god speed john blen
01:35mommy
01:36well how my little girl's doing huh what's the matter baby oh
01:40she's gonna throw up
01:42oh oh
01:44uh cheryl grace is gonna throw up
01:47deal with it
01:48uh i'm not the throw up person i'm gonna take out the trash guy
02:05oh god i remember doing this with your mother after an aerosmith concert
02:11oh nothing coming out
02:15okay i think it's a false alarm honey
02:18here you go
02:18would you clear off this table please
02:20honey
02:21i just made dinner i only have two hands
02:25and i only have one
02:27yeah
02:27well whose fault is that
02:29yours
02:30hope you don't have to sneak up on me in the shower
02:34i don't know in the movies the women love it
02:36yeah well in the movies it's wrestle crow
02:42oh thank god adult food
02:44oh mommy you promised you would be mad at once
02:48you said you would call with me
02:50oh honey
02:51no me first
02:52okay
02:53hey girls you know what
02:54if you don't go upstairs and get in bed right now
02:57santa won't come tonight
03:04what you'll deal with it tomorrow
03:13i'm sorry it's just that it's been like this all day they're
03:16they're sick and they're cranky and they're driving me nuts
03:19well i got two words for you honey tv
03:22no
03:23come on honey
03:24put a tv in that room
03:26and you won't hear a peep out of them
03:28jim we promised ourselves we would never do that
03:31we promised ourselves we wouldn't do a lot of things
03:33like not go to bed mad or with other people or something like that
03:39hey guys
03:40oh oh you're eating
03:41oh it's okay you can watch
03:45i i have something to say and i i need you both to listen
03:50i'm in therapy
03:52since when
03:53for about a month and i really feel like i'm getting acquainted with the andy deep inside
03:59therapy huh
04:00you mean like
04:04nice
04:04no it's all right cheryl
04:06dr gamble and i felt it'd be helpful if uh my two sisters join me
04:11oh andy i'd love to but the girls are still sick so i'm kind of stuck here
04:15well maybe jim could watch them
04:17oh what you want me to babysit
04:21you do know it's not babysitting when they're your own kids
04:26you've been talking to that mom down the street haven't you
04:29the fancy one with a job
04:32well i'm sorry honey but some of us just like to be the best parents we can be
04:38now if you'll excuse me i think my baby's done
04:46so cheryl picked me up dried the blood off my nose and told me everything was gonna be all right
04:52oh you're fortunate to have such a wonderful wonderful sister
04:56i don't know if i'm wonderful wonderful
05:00hello everyone
05:01hi i'm dana
05:03dana you're late you know you could have called
05:05yeah well maybe i was waiting outside working up the courage to walk in that door
05:10and bear my soul
05:12yeah cheryl what's in the bag
05:14new shoes
05:17interesting dana that you would stop to buy shoes knowing you'd be late
05:21not really once you get to know me
05:24is it because you don't feel pretty on the inside
05:27it's okay dana i don't feel so pretty on the inside either
05:34i'm fine
05:36before you came in we were talking about the time you punched andy in the face
05:40which time
05:42my sixth birthday
05:44mom promised me the flower on the cake the big one
05:47you you took it
05:49and only ate half of it and then gave the rest of the dog
05:52then you punched me
05:55your friends thought it was funny
05:56it was my flower
05:59and and you took it
06:00how does it make you feel andy
06:02i feel violated and ignored and discarded
06:04i feel attacked
06:06and betrayed
06:09i'm fine
06:16hey beauty
06:17hey
06:20what's going on where are the kids
06:21in the room
06:23are they okay
06:24oh yeah they're fine
06:27they've been up there all evening
06:28haven't heard a peep out of them
06:31how was dr booka booka
06:35well i'm fine
06:40and andy's really open it up he even cried
06:43oh big deal i make andy cry every day at work for 150 bucks an hour i'll make him crap
06:48his pants
06:54it's good
06:55you like it
06:56yeah good because we got a three-gallon box in the kitchen
07:09i don't hear any kids whining or fighting or yelling
07:17you put the tv in their room
07:19uh-huh and i got a bunch of stuff finished
07:22uh-huh and i got a bunch of stuff finished
07:49okay
07:50all right i guess it's okay but only till they're better
07:53absolutely
07:54okay
07:57cheryl
07:58come to the dark side
08:09oh i'm so relaxed
08:10it's starting to worry me
08:12yeah
08:14i'm starting to remember what it was like before we had kids
08:18you mean back when we could both fit in the tub
08:20yeah you really let yourself go
08:25ew look
08:26why do you always think i want to see that
08:30can we get the ben and hill collection
08:32it's not someone's doors
08:35all right that is it
08:37girls i'll work on it i'll work on it
08:40jim ruby's been back at school for three days
08:42no more tv in their room
08:44oh come on cheryl look at our lives we're living like movie stars
08:48jim they're eating chips and chocolate and drinking sodas in bed
08:52i don't know if they're brushing their teeth anymore
08:54honey
08:54they're not gonna keep those teeth anyway
08:57this whole thing is spinning out of control
08:59we have to draw the line somewhere and i am drawing it at television
09:02since when do you get to draw the line
09:04because i am the throw-up person and the throw-up person gets to draw the line
09:09what about the take out the trash guy
09:11you don't get to be the take out the trash guy unless you actually take out the trash
09:16that's not my understanding of the title
09:20look jim we agreed on certain things when we became a family like like we always eat dinner together
09:26yes even i've already eaten
09:29and i would stay home to raise the kids
09:31and that i would let you
09:34and we'd always wear seat belts absolutely
09:38and you would give up riding your motorcycle
09:40if you don't have the belts on the car's not going
09:45jim
09:46yes
09:47have you been riding your motorcycle
09:54a little
09:57oh a little
09:58promise me you would never ride that thing
10:00i don't recall any such promise or discussion thereof
10:03june 27th 1995
10:05the night ruby was born
10:07you sat next to my hospital bed with tears in your eyes
10:09and you promised me you would never ever ride that thing ever again
10:15touche
10:27no
10:27no
10:29no
10:29no more tv
10:32come on
10:33girls you watch a little mermaid one more time
10:35she'll die
10:39did you hear that
10:41i think it's raining candy outside
10:45go get it
10:46go get it
10:47we really should have them tested
10:51well here's the tv
10:52it's not in the kids room anymore
10:53just like we decided
10:55you and me
10:56together
10:58us
11:00no don't give me that
11:03no no
11:03come on honey
11:04get off my back here okay
11:05i'm not gonna sell that bike
11:08no
11:08no i'm serious
11:10i'm not gonna get rid of it
11:12okay okay okay okay
11:14well just let me finish
11:15all right
11:18i'm a guy
11:19i got two feet
11:20and i'm putting one down now
11:25come on
11:28honey
11:28you think a lone ranger would sell trigger
11:32all right i know it's not trigger
11:34it's uh
11:35you're messing with my mind cheryl
11:38now listen
11:39honey i've been driving that bike since 1984
11:43i mean it means so much
11:44it means it's as much a part of my life as a washer and dryer is to you
11:57it took me to kindergarten
11:58and when i got into the room i realized
12:02it wasn't really underwear day
12:09dana
12:10why do you think you're so hostile towards andy
12:12i'm not hostile
12:13well then why are you reading while andy's sharing his feelings
12:16because no one in my building gets this magazine
12:20andy how does that make you feel
12:22makes me a little you know
12:24mad
12:26how mad
12:29well
12:30tell tina
12:35dana
12:36dana please put down the magazine
12:41you know what you're
12:43you're a jerk
12:46what
12:47you heard me
12:47you're a mean
12:49self-centered
12:50jerk
13:01jeez andy
13:12very very good
13:14okay you guys ready
13:15here's another one
13:18look i'm an elephant
13:19this is how i walk
13:24stampede
13:25stampede
13:28okay cheryl
13:29it's done
13:29the bike is up on its stand
13:30i drained the gas and the oil
13:32and i covered her up
13:33the only problem is i just can't find the keys
13:35oh
13:37all right
13:37here's the keys
13:38oh honey
13:41thank you
13:42i know how hard that was for you
13:44and i really appreciate it
13:45all right
13:47more mommy
13:48do another
13:48oh oh i have one
13:51look i'm a daddy
13:53and this is how i walk
13:55oh very good
13:59oh very funny
14:01i don't do that
14:03i do other things too
14:04when
14:05all right all right all right
14:06all right
14:06let's do look i'm a mommy
14:07this is how i walk
14:10oh
14:11that's sweet honey
14:11oh see
14:18whoa whoa whoa
14:19okay okay
14:20look i'm a birdie
14:22and this is how i walk
14:24birdies don't walk they fly
14:26do it
14:28no no no no no ruby honey
14:30you look i'm a mommy
14:31can i do that again
14:32ruby sweetie we're doing birdies now
14:34birdies
14:37what's this honey
14:38i'm mommy smoking a cigarette
14:41you are
14:44look i'm a hypocrite
14:46smoky smoky smoke
14:50keys please
14:53you girls play good
15:05cheryl
15:05can i ask you a question
15:07and i want you to be
15:09really honest with me
15:10am i mean and self-centered
15:12well
15:15no sweetie
15:17i know
15:18i just had to ask
15:20you know
15:21andy called
15:22another therapy session
15:23for later today
15:24i guess he's not done
15:25tearing into me
15:26cheryl
15:26he called me a jerk
15:28well
15:28sometimes
15:32he's a jerk
15:36dana
15:37when did ruby
15:38see me smoke
15:39i don't know
15:40i can't even remember
15:41the last time we had
15:42a cigarette together
15:43i know
15:44oh must have been
15:45with sarah williams
15:46it colored me mine
15:48no wonder ruby
15:49made me an ashtray
15:52you smoked a cigarette
15:54with someone else
15:55well
15:55honey her husband
15:56had just left her
15:58jay williams is single
16:08hey sweetie
16:12honey
16:14you know how you
16:15saw mommy smoking
16:17and i know
16:19that you know
16:20that
16:20smoking is bad
16:22and what mommy
16:23did was wrong
16:23right
16:25well
16:25mommy is not
16:27very proud of herself
16:28why
16:30because
16:31sometimes
16:32mommies do things
16:33that aren't very smart
16:38and sometimes
16:39daddies do things
16:41that aren't very smart
16:42why
16:42because they have
16:44the emotional maturity
16:45of a six year old
16:48no offense
16:51you know how you
16:52love jawbreakers
16:54yeah
16:54but
16:54you know
16:55they're not good
16:56for you
16:56because they can
16:57break your teeth
16:59and even though
17:01we told you
17:01you couldn't have
17:02them anymore
17:02we found that
17:03one under your pillow
17:04that wasn't mine
17:08whee
17:11okay ruby
17:13do you know
17:14who really hates
17:15smoking
17:16who
17:16the surgeon general
17:19who
17:21santa
17:41we weren't sure
17:42if you were coming
17:43i wasn't
17:44i wasn't either
17:46andy
17:47i don't know
17:48if things are
17:49going to be
17:49any different
17:49but
17:51you make me
17:52want to be
17:52a better sister
17:54shut up
17:55you had me
17:56at i wasn't
17:57either
18:00here
18:01i got you
18:02a cake
18:03with a flower
18:03on it
18:04oh dana
18:06it was never
18:07really about
18:08the flowers
18:08just me needing
18:09you to accept
18:10me for who
18:10i am
18:11that's all
18:11well i thought
18:12about some
18:13of the things
18:13you said
18:14and if you
18:15need me
18:15to change
18:16i'm willing
18:17to make
18:18the effort
18:19how do you
18:20feel andy
18:21well i
18:21stood up
18:22for myself
18:23good
18:23and i
18:23realized now
18:24i was wrong
18:26what
18:26i see
18:28that now
18:30thanks dana
18:34where's
18:34the flower
18:36i ate
18:37it
18:39what
18:40you ate
18:41the flower
18:41you did
18:41it again
18:43it looked
18:44good
18:45what's the
18:46sense of
18:46giving me
18:46a cake
18:47with a flower
18:47on it
18:47if you're
18:48gonna go
18:48ahead
18:48and eat
18:49the flower
18:49you said
18:50it wasn't
18:50about the
18:50flower
18:51you
18:51psycho
18:51you're
18:51the
18:52psycho
18:52yes
18:53you're
18:53the
19:03hey
19:04Cheryl
19:04you know
19:05i wanted
19:05to ask you
19:05that smoke
19:06cam we
19:06had last
19:07night
19:07was it
19:08regular
19:08ham
19:08when you
19:09bought
19:09it
19:11you know
19:12sweetie
19:12i can
19:13quit
19:13smoking
19:13but you'll
19:14always be
19:15an ass
19:18jeez
19:18you smoke
19:19with that
19:19mouth
19:21not
19:22anymore
19:22i am
19:23done
19:23good
19:23yeah
19:24how about
19:25you
19:25i don't
19:26smoke
19:29the bike
19:32honey
19:33you fell in love
19:34with the guy
19:34who rode a
19:35motorcycle
19:35you thought
19:36he was
19:36sexy
19:37yeah
19:37well now i think
19:38it's sexy when
19:38you come home
19:39in one piece
19:40all right
19:41all right
19:42here's the deal
19:43i won't ride the
19:44bike anymore
19:44but i'm not gonna
19:45sell it either
19:46occasionally i'll go
19:47in the garage
19:48and sit on it
19:49and go
19:50vroom
19:51vroom
19:54that is none
19:55of your business
20:01hey
20:01wait a minute
20:02what if there's a
20:03special occasion
20:04where you know
20:05you need to ride
20:05a motorcycle
20:07like what
20:08you know
20:09like uh
20:09a neighborhood
20:11parade
20:13we don't have a
20:14neighborhood parade
20:14i know but
20:15someone might
20:16start one
20:18you know what
20:18if we have a
20:19neighborhood parade
20:20then you can ride
20:21your bike
20:21and i'll sit on
20:22the back smoking
20:24it'll be our
20:25little float
20:28honey do you think
20:29we have too many
20:29rules
20:31i don't know
20:32baby what do you
20:32think
20:33well i don't want
20:34our girls to grow up
20:35thinking that they
20:36can't express
20:36themselves
20:37you know that
20:37it's not okay to
20:38break a rule
20:39every once in a
20:40while
20:43oh i think
20:44they're gonna be
20:44just fine
20:45baby
20:53hello family
20:55hey
20:56found this outside
20:57on the porch
20:58really
20:58yeah
21:05what's this
21:06it's a food
21:07dehydrator
21:08now try and
21:09feel it'll be
21:10a brief
21:19we really should
21:20have them tested
21:24you
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