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مسلسل According to Jim مترجم - Episode 3

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TV
Transcript
00:04Come on, guys. Ruby's gonna be late for school. Would you grab your backpacks, please?
00:07Jim, I'll be back for Kyle in 20 minutes. Please don't forget to pick up Gracie at her play date
00:12at Jenny Campbell's after work.
00:13Uh-huh.
00:14Oh, and don't forget her shoes this time.
00:16Uh-huh.
00:16Oh, and you know what? This is Jenny's. Would you please give it back to her?
00:19Uh-huh.
00:20And I'll be at my boyfriend's tonight if you need me.
00:22Uh-huh.
00:26You are so not listening to me.
00:27Yeah, you'll be at your boyfriend's. Just make sure you take the kids.
00:36Oops.
00:40Jim, would you please do something about that?
00:42You'll be back in 20 minutes.
00:45Just a minute.
00:57Hey, buddy. Hurry up.
01:02Okay, pal. You got 20 minutes. Eat up.
01:21Hey, kitty, kitty. Hey, Mr. Feeney.
01:27Good morning, girls.
01:29Good morning, daddy.
01:30Good morning, daddy.
01:30Good morning, buddy.
01:32Soft spot getting smaller.
01:34All right.
01:37Mr. Feeney.
01:38Hey, honey. Honey.
01:40You know where my game day shirt is?
01:42Oh, yeah. I washed it.
01:44You washed my game day shirt?
01:47Yeah.
01:47You don't wash game day shirt. That's bad luck.
01:50Oh, it's a good thing you don't have game day underwear.
01:53Honey, you don't wear underwear on game day.
01:57Damn, springtime fresh. What am I supposed to do?
02:00Here, honey.
02:01Hey, good idea.
02:04Oh, yeah. That's better.
02:07Are you ready for some football?
02:10Hey, buddy, for some football!
02:11Oh, yeah. You are it.
02:14Are you ready for some football?
02:19I thought we were all going to paint our faces.
02:22Uh, I guess we forgot to tell you.
02:25Don't we look like idiots?
02:29Uncle Andy?
02:30Yeah, sweetie.
02:31Are you a clown?
02:33No.
02:34I am an AIA-certified architect and a Stanford graduate.
02:37And on the weekends, a clown.
02:40Hey, honey. Snacks for the tailgate.
02:42Oh, baby, you're the best.
02:43You just bought yourself another six months of being my wife.
02:47Oh, yeah.
02:49Mom!
02:50Gracie's doing with her mouth open.
02:52Yeah, Gracie's not mom!
02:56Honey?
02:57Yes?
02:58Are you going to be all right?
02:59I mean, if you don't want me to go, I won't.
03:01No, honey. I want you to go and have a good time.
03:03Oh, I love playing this game.
03:04Oh, no.
03:05It is a gorgeous day here on the lakefront.
03:14We're about an hour away from the opening kickoff.
03:17And the Bears have yet to announce their starting quarterback.
03:21Miller.
03:22Matthews.
03:22I have to pee.
03:24But we're not going to stop now and go to the bathroom of the stadium.
03:28You know, I can't pee in a trough.
03:31All those men, shoulder to shoulder.
03:33Those stolen glances.
03:36Now, take your mind off it.
03:37Think about something else.
03:39A babbling brook.
03:41Or a waterfall.
03:43Yeah, or men peeing.
03:49Yeah.
03:51Cheryl.
03:52Okay.
03:52Okay, honey.
03:53Calm down.
03:54Calm down.
03:55Cat died.
03:56Mr. Feeney.
03:57Oh, honey.
03:58I'm really sorry.
04:00Listen.
04:01We'll be there as soon as the game is over.
04:03I mean, halftime.
04:04We're on our way.
04:07Bye.
04:09Okay.
04:10Don't worry.
04:11We shouldn't take Bob.
04:12We should still make the game by kickoff.
04:15Wow.
04:16Poor Sheriff.
04:17This is so sad.
04:20Yeah.
04:21I didn't even know we still had a cat.
04:23Yeah.
04:29Mr. Feeney is going to love that.
04:32Sorry for your loss.
04:36Hi, honey.
04:37Oh.
04:38Hi, girls.
04:40Oh, you're looking at pictures of Mr. Feeney, huh?
04:42I am so sorry we ruined your day.
04:45Where is he?
04:46The upstairs bathroom.
04:47Ah!
04:50He died in his litter box.
04:52Oh.
04:53Like Elvis.
04:56I got this box and this towel to wrap him in, but then I just couldn't do it.
05:00Oh, sweetie.
05:01I'll take care of it.
05:01Oh, thank you.
05:03Hey, is this one of the towels I got you for your anniversary?
05:09I'll just go get them.
05:11I had to special order them.
05:14Honey, I thought it would be nice for the girls if we took a few minutes to say goodbye to
05:19Mr. Feeney.
05:19So if you could say something.
05:22Sure.
05:25Okay, everybody, Cheryl would like us to say a few words, so I'll start.
05:32We are assembled here today to pay tribute to this cat.
05:38Wrapped in Egyptian cotton.
05:41We're here to say goodbye.
05:44Mr. Feeney was more than just a cat to Cheryl.
05:48He was like a dog to her.
05:53And I know if Mr. Feeney were here right now, he would say,
05:58bury me and move on with your day.
06:02Enjoy life.
06:04Eat a pizza.
06:06I mean, it's not my thing, but you may like it.
06:08Or do whatever you were planning to do on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
06:13I mean, come on already.
06:14I'm dead.
06:17Okay, Ruby, your turn.
06:20Once Mr. Feeney slept on my bed and woke me up by biting my nose.
06:24Isn't that sweet?
06:26Okay, next.
06:27I'm not in grace that I played in the kitchen and made pancakes and waffles, but not real ones.
06:31It was pretend.
06:33That's so beautiful, honey.
06:35Okay, next.
06:36And then, and then, there was this one time when we went to St. Louis.
06:42Uh-huh.
06:44Cupcake man, cupcake man, who was born Monday, eating a muffin pan.
06:48He ran away from the baker's shop and then he married a lollipop.
06:52Okay, okay, okay.
06:53Okay, that was beautiful.
06:55Thank you, Ruby.
06:57Andy.
07:00Gracie, sweetie, do you have something you want to say?
07:03I loved him.
07:07See, Ruby, three words.
07:14Girls, that was perfect.
07:16Why don't we go to the park now?
07:17Go up and grab your sweaters and we'll get your little brother.
07:22Jim, would you please bury Mr. Feeney in the backyard?
07:26Sure, honey, sure.
07:27Okay, let's go.
07:29Honey.
07:32You mean now?
07:36I don't want the girls to see, okay?
07:39Yeah.
07:43Well, uh, why don't you guys go ahead to the game and I'll just get there when I can.
07:48You sure there's nothing we can do?
07:50Well, you can help me dig.
07:52It's just an expression.
08:04That last play gaining about a yard.
08:08So, Batch and the Lions face with a third and goal if you call it the eight-yard line.
08:14We're tied at 17, but don't go anywhere.
08:17There's a snap.
08:18Batch rolling to his right.
08:20Looking in the end zone, he's under pressure.
08:23He is hit.
08:24The ball is loose.
08:25The ball is loose.
08:27And the Bears have it.
08:28The Bears got it.
08:29The Bears have it.
08:30Yes.
08:30Yes.
08:31Number 71.
08:31That'll be Fuster.
08:33Yes, sir.
08:33That's Fuster who came up with the loose ball.
08:36Freeze.
08:46The Bears will have it first and ten, pointing in the other direction.
08:51We'll have a break of the action on the field.
09:00Where'd you go, Mr. Vini?
09:18Hey, where have you been?
09:19You missed the entire first quarter.
09:20Well, I went to the restroom and stood there at that trough, but no dice.
09:25So I ran across the street and rented a room at the Radisson.
09:29That's $34.50 I ever spent.
09:32Excuse me, excuse me.
09:33Hey, we didn't expect to see you soon.
09:35I took a shortcut.
09:38Who wants a popsicle?
09:41I do.
09:41Me too, me too.
09:56We won!
09:57We won!
09:58Hi, Daddy!
09:58Hi, Daddy!
09:59Hey, baby, how are you, sugar?
10:00You know, Detroit almost had us here for a minute.
10:02Then my shirt kicked in.
10:04Did you bring us something?
10:06Did you bring us something?
10:06Honey, I always bring you something.
10:09Here!
10:10Here!
10:12Whoa!
10:13Crinkly!
10:15And for you, baby, paper!
10:19Thank you, Daddy!
10:20You're welcome, honey.
10:22Oh, Cheryl, you missed a great game.
10:24I mean, first I bought a small popcorn.
10:26They gave me a large.
10:29What's for dinner?
10:30I thought we'd have steaks.
10:32Oh, steak's great!
10:33Yeah, I'm just gonna run out to the garage, grab them out of the freezer.
10:37Uh, honey, let me get them for you.
10:39I'll get them.
10:40Honey, come on, you've had a hard day.
10:44Going to the game, eating peanuts, burying my cat.
10:48You have done a lot of stuff.
10:50Let me get them.
10:53Oh, you know what, honey?
10:55You know, I already had steak at the game.
11:02They sell steak at Soldier Field now?
11:05Yeah, it's called, uh, steak on a stick.
11:09Apparently, we're a test city.
11:11You know, I had to fill out a card and everything, you know.
11:15I don't know if it's gonna work in football.
11:17You know, the tenderness is not quite the same on a stick.
11:19Yeah?
11:20Yeah.
11:20Is there something you need to tell me?
11:25Uh, I love you?
11:30You know, I feel like that guy in the movies has got to cut the red wire or the green
11:33wire so the bomb doesn't go off.
11:38Well, why don't you just cut the crap wire?
11:45Okay, I stuck the cat in the freezer.
11:48But, you know, I mean, the ground was way harder than I thought it was, honey.
11:52I thought I could come home after the game and bury Mr. Feeney.
11:56I wanted to do the job right.
11:58No, you wanted to go to your stupid football game.
12:01Honey, let's not say something we're gonna regret later.
12:05You mean, like, I do?
12:09All right.
12:10Now, this is how fights get started.
12:15So, I think the thing that we should do is table this discussion till after we've had our steaks.
12:21I love that you actually think I'm making you dinner.
12:26Come on, honey.
12:27It's just a cat.
12:31Damn.
12:33Red wire.
12:39Poor Mr. Feeney.
12:41It looks like he's stalking those frozen peas.
12:44Yeah.
12:45Huh?
12:45Touch it.
12:46I'm not touching, man.
12:47You touch it.
12:47Come on, touch it.
12:49I'm not gonna touch that cat.
12:50You touch it.
12:51I'll give you a buck if you touch it.
12:53What do I gotta do to it for a 50?
12:56That's wrong.
12:59Hey, guys.
13:00Jim, I thought you buried him.
13:02Well, I didn't.
13:04Your sister's all pissed off at me, too.
13:07If I were a woman and my husband froze my cat, it'd be a long time before I gave him
13:12any sugar.
13:14Andy, let's not play if I were a woman.
13:18I didn't even know you had a cat.
13:22Women and cats.
13:24I don't get it.
13:25I mean, all they do is eat, sleep, and steer you while you're having sex.
13:29Women or cats?
13:32I don't know.
13:33We're in a fight now.
13:35She's all upset.
13:37You know, there are no cats mentioned in the Bible.
13:43Thank you, Tony.
13:45Who knows what goes on the mind of a woman?
13:48Andy?
13:52All right, let's rehearse.
13:54Two, three, four.
14:05Okay, the girls are playing in the room, and I put Kyle down.
14:08How'd you get him to go to sleep so fast?
14:10Same way I do with all guys.
14:12I told him about my day.
14:14I just, I can't believe Jim did this.
14:17You know, Cheryl, I know this great guy for you.
14:19He lives in my complex.
14:20He also has kids, and I'm totally done dating him.
14:24The guy with the Porsche?
14:26Yes.
14:26I like him.
14:28Guys, sorry.
14:30Mr. Feeney.
14:32Oh, I miss him, too.
14:35Those cute little whiskers, and those little paws.
14:39Nothing will ever replace him.
14:43Oh, a doggy!
14:45A doggy!
14:47Girls, come on down.
14:49I got a big surprise for you.
14:52Cheryl?
14:53Mm-mm.
14:55After our talk, I said to myself, she lost her cat.
15:01She loved that cat.
15:04She's sad about that cat.
15:06So I got you a dog.
15:10A dog?
15:11Yeah, I figured I'd get something that all of us could love.
15:15Isn't it great?
15:16I named him Gary Sinise.
15:20Jim, you're the one who's always wanted a dog.
15:23Gary Sinise is a great actor.
15:26He could play a cat.
15:30He likes me.
15:31He likes me.
15:32He is licking me.
15:33You know, he licks himself, too.
15:38Problem?
15:39Problem solved.
15:50What are you doing?
15:51I'm going to bury my cat.
15:53Give me that.
15:54Let me do it.
15:56Honey, you're not going to be able to...
16:00How did you do that?
16:03Cheryl.
16:04Come on.
16:05I got you a dog.
16:06Getting a dog is a quick fix.
16:09Like putting a cat in a freezer.
16:11You know, that's like getting skis for someone who just broke their leg.
16:15Here we go with the skis again.
16:17This is not about skis.
16:19I know.
16:20What is it about, then?
16:21Tell me, will you?
16:22It's about you not being there for me.
16:25Come on.
16:27Dana and Andy, they went to the game, too.
16:29Why aren't you mad at them?
16:30I'm not married to Andy and Dana.
16:33I needed a little bit of compassion from the man I love.
16:38Cheryl.
16:39Look, if you want me to feel the same way you do about the cat, well, I don't.
16:44It's a shame that your cat died.
16:48But hey, let's look at the silver lining.
16:50I haven't sneezed all day.
16:54Cheryl.
16:56You've got to help me here.
16:58I don't know what you want.
16:59I'm not a mind reader.
17:01Jim, you don't have to be a mind reader to ask me how I'm feeling.
17:06You know, I had that cat for 15 years.
17:12It was the last thing I had left from before I met you.
17:15From before I was somebody's wife and somebody's mother.
17:20You know, a whole part of my life died today.
17:28Come on, honey, let me help you.
17:29Jim.
17:32Would you please just leave me alone with my dead, frozen cat?
17:40Mommy, the doggy's thrown up!
17:46Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up after Gary Sinise.
17:55Good night, little monkeys.
17:57Good night.
17:58Good night, Azela.
18:00Good night, Azela.
18:01Okay, you guys.
18:02You ready for Bradford and the Magic Dinosaur?
18:05No, tell us a real story about Mr. Feeney.
18:11Okay.
18:13I remember when Mr. Feeney was born.
18:16He was tiny, tiny and pink.
18:20My boyfriend and I took him home and he spent the whole night with us.
18:24You and Daddy?
18:26No.
18:31This was a different boy who was a friend.
18:35You had a boy sleepover?
18:41What was his name?
18:43Uh, David.
18:47Feeney.
18:48That boy had the same name as our cat.
18:53Yes, he did.
18:54He did.
18:55Oh, did you look how late it is?
18:57Good night, sweetie.
18:59Mommy?
19:00Yes?
19:02Is Mr. Feeney God's cat now?
19:05Yeah, honey.
19:06Yes.
19:08Now, good night.
19:14Mommy?
19:15Yes?
19:17How do they make cereal?
19:20You guys just don't want to go to sleep, do you?
19:24Good night.
19:27Yes?
19:31Good night.
19:32Good night.
19:35Good night.
19:42Good night.
19:45is there anyone inesse?
19:47Good night.
19:50Good night.
19:54Are there anyone's gonna go to sleep?
19:57Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
20:13I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see.
20:55You like him, don't you?
20:57He's okay.
20:59Okay, Gary, beat it. Let's go. Come on, come on, my time.
21:10Oh, it's nice to know that after nine years, you can still surprise me.
21:15Where did the name Mr. Feeny come from, anyway?
21:21Let it go, Jim. Cat's dead.
21:34Let it go.
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