- 6 hours ago
مسلسل According to Jim مترجم - Episode 4
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00:01You have more ketchup.
00:04Dana, Dana.
00:05What?
00:05Duh, duh, duh.
00:08Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, I need a favor.
00:12I'm great, Jim.
00:13How are you?
00:15You know, why do you women always need foreplay for everything?
00:19Listen, I need you to pick up Cheryl's anniversary gift for me at the Oak Brook Mall.
00:25Which store?
00:26I don't know yet.
00:27That's the other part of the table.
00:30You haven't even gotten her gift yet?
00:31No.
00:32Jim, I am sick and tired of doing this for you every year.
00:34Come on, come on, come on, please.
00:36You know, I just love her so much, and I just, I don't know how to put it into a
00:40gift.
00:42Dana, come on, please.
00:44You're so good at it.
00:49You know, if Cheryl wasn't my sister, I would let you fry.
00:52Good, good.
00:54Okay, here's the deal, all right?
00:56We're going to do the same thing we do every year.
00:58Fifteen dollars a year times ten, that's a hundred and fifty bucks.
01:02Jim, this is your tenth anniversary.
01:04Since you love her so much, don't you want to do something special?
01:07Yeah.
01:09All right, throw another fifteen in.
01:16It's ready, Mom.
01:21Oh, boy.
01:22Happy anniversary, Mom.
01:24Happy anniversary.
01:25Eat it now.
01:27Okay.
01:30Sure hope these are raisins.
01:40It's good.
01:44You know what?
01:45I'm all full.
01:48Why don't you girls run up and get your backpacks, okay?
01:52Oh.
01:54Happy anniversary.
01:56Oh, what's this?
01:58A day for two at the Serenity's.
02:01Yep.
02:02I booked you and Jim a couples massage with two of the best guys there.
02:06You shouldn't have.
02:07Damn right.
02:09The only guy touching me is going to be me.
02:12And that's only an emergency.
02:16Oh, darn.
02:17Jim can't go.
02:18Aw.
02:18Saturday good for you?
02:19Perfect.
02:20Excellent.
02:21Well, you know, that Serenity's spa sure is nice, but it's not as nice as the gift I got you.
02:27Oh, honey, I just can't wait.
02:29Every year, your anniversary gift is better than the year before.
02:32They're so sensitive and thoughtful.
02:35It's almost like they're...
02:36From a different person?
02:37Yes.
02:41Well, this year's gift, honey, this year's gift is...
02:46Wow.
02:48Can you give me a hint?
02:53Well, it's...
02:54A slightly higher retail value than last year.
02:59Oh, is he the best?
03:01Oh, yeah.
03:02Why aren't there more men like you?
03:04Oh, yeah, evolution.
03:09What's with her?
03:10Who cares?
03:13Hmm.
03:14This is great.
03:16Oh.
03:18Is this a crayon?
03:32Hey, Jim.
03:33You'll never guess what Ruby, Gracie, and I are doing for your anniversary.
03:37Another Uncle Andy's puppet show?
03:41No.
03:44Hey, Jim.
03:45What do you see?
03:45What I got for shit?
03:47Oh, hi, Andy.
03:49Hey, Dana.
03:50What are you doing here?
03:51Oh, well, I...
03:53What, uh, can't she come and visit her favorite brother-in-law?
03:56Dana, you'll never guess what the kids and I are doing for Jim and Cheryl's anniversary.
04:00Oh, Uncle Andy's puppet show?
04:02Yeah.
04:04There's a leak.
04:06Did you get something?
04:07Okay, wait till you see this.
04:08I think I really outdid myself this year.
04:10Oh, give me that.
04:12Wow.
04:14A bracelet.
04:15Yeah.
04:16That ought to work, huh?
04:17It's a charm bracelet.
04:18See, it's white gold, and every charm on here represents a different memorable event
04:22from every year that you've been married.
04:24How much?
04:25See, like, this is from when you proposed,
04:28and this one is from that Stones concert.
04:30How much, Dana?
04:32Five hundred.
04:33Five hundred bucks?
04:34Come on, I'm already getting the milk for free.
04:38Hey, that cow's my sister.
04:41Dana, you broke the rule.
04:43The rule is $15 a year.
04:45This...
04:45This bracelet is like...
04:47Jim.
04:48Hold on.
04:50It's like a 33-and-a-third-year anniversary gift.
04:53Oh, you are unbelievable.
04:55For ten years, you've done nothing.
04:57Absolutely nothing.
04:58I don't think you've even ever said thank you.
05:00Wow, what's that?
05:02This?
05:04Uh, this is, uh, Cheryl's anniversary gift.
05:06I got it.
05:09You like it?
05:10It's beautiful.
05:11How do you do it year after year?
05:14Well, Andy, I'll tell you.
05:16I don't shop with this.
05:18I shop with this.
05:19Show them what you think with.
05:23Hey, Andy, you know what?
05:25Uh, I'm not really good at wrapping gifts.
05:28Can you wrap this for me?
05:30Yeah.
05:30Where's the paper?
05:31At the store.
05:33Would you mind running out to pick some up?
05:35Hey, and pick up a card, too, for me, will you?
05:37And make it romantic.
05:39You know, something with Ziggy on it.
05:41Okay.
05:42Oh, but let's not tell Cheryl.
05:43It'd be great if she thought that you did everything.
05:46All right.
05:47We'll do it your way.
05:49I feel so naughty.
05:59Cheryl, you've done it again.
06:01Another great anniversary dinner.
06:03Oh, thank you, sweetie.
06:05Cheryl, no, no, no, no, no, no.
06:06What are you doing?
06:07Come on, come on.
06:08This is a special day.
06:09Oh.
06:10You can clear these later.
06:14Okay, everyone.
06:15Please make your way into the living room for a very special performance.
06:20Remember to turn off all cell phones and pagers.
06:24And please, no flash photography.
06:29Gee, I hope there's gonna be snacks.
06:31Well, why don't you just finish what's on your chin?
06:34I try to eat the shirt stuff first.
06:38Oh, okay, okay.
06:40Here's the big show.
06:41Ladies and gentlemen, the Uncle Andy players present When Daddy Proposed to Mommy.
06:51Interior Italian restaurant evening.
06:54Jim and Cheryl are meeting for a very special date.
06:57Cue music.
07:00Press play.
07:02The pink button.
07:05Jim decides to play a prank on Cheryl.
07:11Hey, Cheryl, you wanna cool off?
07:14Jim then pours his beer onto Cheryl.
07:17She doesn't look happy.
07:19I'm happy.
07:21Not happy.
07:22I'm not happy.
07:26Jim, not knowing how to deflect the attention from his stupidity, pops the ultimate question.
07:32Are you gonna finish that?
07:35No, really.
07:36What he said was...
07:37Will you marry me?
07:39Cheryl was shocked.
07:40Ah!
07:43Jim said if the answer was yes, she should pour her drink onto him.
07:48And they look happily ever after.
07:51The end.
07:51Oh!
07:52That was great.
07:53Yay!
07:54Bravo!
07:55You girls are really cute.
07:57Okay, now I have a surprise for Daddy.
08:00You wait here.
08:01Andy, would you give me a hand?
08:02Oh, I don't need a gift.
08:07So, Jim, you wanna just write me a check for Cheryl's present?
08:10Where's the receipt?
08:12What, you think I'm trying to cheat you?
08:14You know, I didn't say that, but interesting you would go there.
08:20You ungrateful jerk.
08:21Give me the bracelet.
08:21Come on, come on.
08:22How much was it, really?
08:23You're such a jackass.
08:24Come on, you look like you got new shoes there, don't you?
08:26Hey, come on, let me...
08:27Hey, close your eyes.
08:31Are they closed?
08:33Yeah.
08:34Hey, keep them closed.
08:36Okay, you can open them.
08:39It's a massage, Cheryl!
08:41Oh!
08:43Look at that!
08:45Wow!
08:46Oh, Cheryl, come on, this must have cost a fortune.
08:48Nope, it's fake leather.
08:51Yeah, it's my girl.
08:55Oh, you're welcome.
08:56I just love it.
08:58It's great.
08:59Now, it's time for your gift.
09:01Ah!
09:04And I thought it would be more romantic if Dana gave it to you.
09:08Dana?
09:14Oh, honey, hippo anniversary to you, too.
09:19Oh.
09:21Here, let me get it.
09:28Oh, honey, it's beautiful.
09:33It is, isn't it?
09:34It's white gold.
09:36That's like real gold, but white.
09:39And, you know, the best part of it is, is each charm represents a memorable event from
09:45every year that we were married.
09:47Oh, honey, this is your most wonderful and personal gift ever.
09:54Oh, can you believe he did this?
09:57No.
10:00How did you come up with this?
10:06Well, I, uh, I started looking through some wedding photos.
10:11Oh.
10:11Oh, and then I took a walk along the lake and stopped at the church where we got married
10:17and, I don't know, it, uh, just came to me, you know, white gold, wrap it yourself.
10:27Oh, look, it's a tiny little beer mug.
10:32Yeah, that's from the year I proposed to you.
10:34Oh, and lips with a tongue sticking out.
10:37That's from the Rolling Stone concert.
10:39Oh, look, a little traffic light.
10:41Traffic light?
10:41Oh.
10:42What's that for, Jim?
10:44Oh.
10:46Oh.
10:46Oh.
10:47Oh.
10:48Oh.
10:48Oh.
10:50Oh.
10:51Oh.
10:55Well, honey, you know, uh, you know what?
10:59I don't want to hog, uh, the spotlight here.
11:01Maybe, uh, Dana, do you think you can add something to the story?
11:04Not without a receipt.
11:06What?
11:08I don't even know what she means by that.
11:12Jim?
11:13Yes?
11:14Do you know what this charm is for?
11:17Of course I know what it's for.
11:20But,
11:21you know what I think would be fun,
11:23I mean, for everyone,
11:25is if Dana could tell us what the charm is for.
11:30I don't know.
11:31Well, then why did I put it on the bracelet?
11:34Why did I put it on the bracelet?
11:36That is the question at hand now.
11:39Why did I put it on...
11:40You know what?
11:41I got notes in the kitchen,
11:42because I wrote this whole thing up about the charms.
11:44Jim?
11:46Yes?
11:48You didn't buy this bracelet, did you?
11:50I paid for it?
11:51Oh, I...
11:51I'm gonna pay for it.
11:56So, Dana bought this?
11:58Huh?
11:59Has she bought any of our other anniversary gifts?
12:03Some of them.
12:06Which ones?
12:08All of them.
12:11I'm sorry, Cheryl, I...
12:15So, in the ten years we've been together...
12:18Yes?
12:19You haven't picked out one of my anniversary gifts?
12:29Suddenly me wrapping it doesn't seem so bad.
12:41Okay, okay, okay, Cheryl,
12:42I remember what the traffic light charm means.
12:45It was the time we played red light, green light
12:47with the kids and you chipped your tooth.
12:48No!
12:49Okay, it was at the state fair
12:51and the guy was gonna guess my weight by picking me up
12:53and he didn't even work there.
12:56There's not even a traffic light in that story.
12:58I know, but it still bothers me.
13:02I can't believe this has been going on
13:04behind my back for ten years.
13:07Oh, come on, Cheryl, what's the big deal?
13:09The big deal?
13:11You don't choose my gifts.
13:12You didn't even pay for this one.
13:14I'm gonna pay for it,
13:15I just need a receipt for my taxes.
13:17You can't write jewelry off.
13:19You can't if it's a business gift.
13:22By the way, if anybody asks you,
13:24you're a welder.
13:27You tell the IRS you buy charm bracelets for welders?
13:30I'm not proud of it, Cheryl.
13:34Jim, it's not funny.
13:36You know, those gifts you got me every year
13:37made me feel like you really knew me.
13:39Obviously, you don't.
13:41You know what?
13:41You really don't know me.
13:43Oh.
13:43Because if you did,
13:44you'd be thanking me
13:45for not getting you a bunch of lousy gifts
13:47so you're probably gonna return anyway.
13:49I know you.
13:50Oh, you do, do you?
13:51Okay, well, what am I thinking about right now?
13:54Cake.
13:54That's not fair.
13:55I just had cake.
13:59Jim, don't you see?
14:01Whatever you got me,
14:02if it came from your heart,
14:04I would love it and cherish it forever.
14:06Oh, come on.
14:09Women always say that
14:11and they don't mean it.
14:12Well, I do.
14:14Okay, fine.
14:17So then, from now on,
14:18whatever I get you,
14:19you're gonna love?
14:20If it comes from your heart,
14:22then yes.
14:23Okay.
14:24Okay.
14:25Okay.
14:27You know what?
14:29I don't care where this came from.
14:32I love it.
14:34But you know what?
14:34The only thing about this is
14:36it won't rub your feet.
14:38Forget it, Jim.
14:42Amy, come here, come here.
14:44Come on, let me ask you something.
14:45What is the one thing
14:46that I really want
14:48that Cheryl said will never happen?
14:50Donuts with liquor in them.
14:55No, but I think someone's
14:57gonna make a lot of money off that.
15:00A big screen TV?
15:02Andy, it's not just
15:04any big screen TV.
15:05This is the mother
15:05of all big screen TVs.
15:07Look at this.
15:0752 inches, surround sound,
15:09and picture in picture.
15:11Oh, my God.
15:13I feel so small in the universe.
15:19Jim, Cheryl's never gonna
15:20let you keep this.
15:21Oh, yes, you will.
15:22Because that's the beauty of it.
15:24You see, last night she said to me
15:25that she'd love anything I gave her
15:28as long as it came from the heart.
15:30Jim, you are a God to me.
15:33Mom!
15:34A God who's gonna get his ass kicked.
15:37Honey?
15:39Honey, hold on a second.
15:40You know, I could use some help
15:42with the groceries.
15:44Honey, honey, wait a second.
15:45I got a surprise for you.
15:47Oh, honey, not now.
15:47There's milk in the car.
15:48Come on, come on, come on, come on.
15:50Come on.
15:51What is the one thing
15:52that you thought would never happen?
15:54Oh, for the love of God, Jim,
15:55if this is another donut
15:56with a cork in it.
15:59No.
16:00Better.
16:01It's a present.
16:03Happy anniversary!
16:06This is your gift from the heart?
16:08Yes.
16:10Look at it.
16:11This is beautiful here.
16:12See?
16:13This has got picture in picture, see?
16:15So, you can let me watch the show I want
16:17while you watch your show
16:18in the little corner up there on the screen.
16:22How nice of me.
16:24Cheryl, remember what you said.
16:26Oh, I know what I said.
16:29You like it?
16:29I like it.
16:31Doesn't sound like it.
16:32I love it.
16:35What do you say?
16:38You're welcome.
16:42Daddy, can we watch Cinderella?
16:44Watching is what we did on our old TV, girl.
16:47Sit down.
16:48Check this out.
16:51Check this out.
16:56I love this thing.
17:01Oh, guys, five minutes to kickoff.
17:04Wait till you see this on the big screen.
17:06TV.
17:09What's going on here?
17:10Just a few girls sitting around on a Sunday
17:12watching a Sex and the City marathon.
17:14Have fun.
17:19Honey, the guys are here.
17:20The game is starting.
17:22And we want to watch it on the big screen.
17:24I thought this was my TV.
17:25I mean, this was a gift from your heart, wasn't it?
17:34Come on.
17:35The guys are here.
17:37It's okay, honey, because we have picture in picture.
17:40We'll let you guys watch your game in the little box in the corner.
17:45Did you put her up to this?
17:47Can't talk.
17:47Busy.
17:56Come on.
17:58Come on.
18:00Come on.
18:01He's wide open.
18:02He's wide open.
18:02Throw him the ball.
18:03Throw him the ball.
18:05Honey, you're yelling at a pudding commercial.
18:10Where are the guys?
18:12They went home to watch a real TV.
18:15You're just doing this to teach me a lesson, aren't you?
18:18Now, after ten years, don't you think I'd know you'd pull a stunt like this?
18:22You know what, honey?
18:23You're right.
18:24And you know what?
18:25That's the great thing about our marriage, is that we can make mistakes, learn from them,
18:29and move on.
18:30Oh.
18:32You're still not watching the big screen.
18:34Come on, honey.
18:35It's not about the TV.
18:37It's about us.
18:38I love you.
18:40Still no.
18:41No.
18:55What are you doing up?
18:58Just straightening up.
19:00Morning, morning.
19:01Well, how do you think I keep the house so clean?
19:08Hey, honey, listen.
19:10I've been thinking, and, you know, maybe I shouldn't have bought this TV just to spite
19:16you, so I'm going to take it back.
19:19You're taking it back?
19:21Yeah.
19:22What?
19:22You don't want me to?
19:23No.
19:24No.
19:24You should.
19:25Okay.
19:25Okay.
19:26I'm going to call them up first thing in the morning.
19:28Pick it up.
19:30Okay.
19:30I'm going to make sure that it's their first stop in the morning, actually.
19:34Fine.
19:35Actually, you know what?
19:36I can call them now, leave a message, so they get it first thing in the morning.
19:38Oh, all right.
19:39I love it.
19:40Uh-huh.
19:41I love this TV.
19:42I want to marry it.
19:44I knew it.
19:46Well, can you blame me?
19:48This thing is amazing.
19:5052-inch screen, four channels of sound, 800 lines of resolution.
19:54What's that mean?
19:55I don't know.
19:58You see, I knew you would love this, Cheryl.
20:01No, no.
20:02You got lucky.
20:03Okay, maybe.
20:04I did maybe, but I do know you, honey.
20:08Oh, yeah?
20:08I do.
20:09I know a lot about you.
20:10I know important things about you.
20:12I know that that little scar on your forehead there is when you were six years old, you ran
20:16it to the refrigerator.
20:18I know you like your hamburgers medium and your steaks rare.
20:21I know that you love your toes.
20:24And you love New Year's.
20:26You love New Year's, especially that one time we were walking back from Dana's party.
20:31And we stopped at every corner and kissed until the light turned green.
20:36And we kissed.
20:39And you were happy.
20:41And now I know what that charm in the bracelet means.
20:46How much do you love me right now?
20:53You're feeling pretty good about yourself, aren't you?
20:55Oh, yeah.
20:58Oh, happy anniversary, honey.
21:01Happy anniversary, baby.
21:02Oh, happy anniversary, baby, man.
21:09Jim?
21:10Hmm?
21:11Yeah?
21:12Can we afford this TV?
21:13Sure.
21:15It's the kids we can't afford.
21:19Yeah.
21:20We've got to keep them, though.
21:23All right.
21:24But no college.
21:25Deal.
21:26Deal.
21:26Deal.
21:27Deal.
21:29Deal.
21:29Deal.
21:29Deal.
21:29Deal.
21:32Deal.
21:33Deal.
21:34Deal.
21:36Deal.
21:38Deal.
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