- 7 weeks ago
Tv, Allo Allo S6E04 - The Nicked Airmen
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TVTranscript
00:00The British Airmen
00:21Things are looking up.
00:23We have at last got shot of the British Airmen.
00:25They met a British submarine in the estuary
00:27and by now they will be safely back in England.
00:30There was, of course, a last-minute itch
00:32when the periscope of the submarine
00:34burst through the bottom of the rowing boat
00:36containing Lieutenant Gruber and Captain Bertorelli.
00:41They were last seen swimming for the shore.
00:44I will not be to blame.
00:45I was a long way from the scene stroking the ladies' rowing aid.
00:52Once I am glad she is here.
00:54Now that the British Airmen have gone,
00:56I can tell her that I am finishing with the resistance once and for all.
01:00Now, Michelle, listen very carefully.
01:03I shall say this only once.
01:05I am finished with the resistance.
01:07The resistance itself may be finished.
01:10Michelle has given me news so grave that I look ten years older.
01:15You always look ten years old.
01:18The airmen failed to meet the submarine.
01:22They have been captured.
01:23Oh, my God.
01:24Where are they?
01:25They were apprehended by troops of the colonel.
01:27Oh.
01:28If they should crack, they may reveal that we have been hiding them
01:31and then our lives would not be worth...
01:34that.
01:35We must collect all the money we can find and leave at once.
01:39No.
01:40No.
01:41For the moment you are safe.
01:42They are with the army and they will not be ill-treated.
01:45They will reveal only their name, rank and number.
01:48But what if Air Flick should get his hands on them?
01:50Then your cover will be blown.
01:52There will be no time to escape.
01:54Do not worry.
01:55I will make sure you all get suicide pills.
02:00There are German troops marching across the square.
02:03My God, what do we do?
02:04What do we do?
02:05Do not lose your head.
02:06What?
02:07They may only be coming to book a table.
02:09What?
02:10With machine guns?
02:12Michelle, where was she gone?
02:15I expect she has gone to get the suicide pills.
02:20René Artois, you are under arrest.
02:22And you, madame?
02:23I have orders to take you to the office of the Colonel Von Strom for interrogation.
02:28Oh, well, it will be nice to see the Colonel again.
02:31Look, do you mind if we just pop into the kitchen?
02:33Just to get our hats and coats, of course.
02:35Stop!
02:36Your servants can bring them.
02:37March!
02:40Would you tell your man to be careful where he's putting his schmeiser?
02:48The British airmen are here.
02:49Good.
02:50I've been looking forward to this.
02:52Show them in here.
02:54Gruber, they are prisoners.
02:56You don't show them in.
02:58You send them in!
03:01Send them in here!
03:12Hey there!
03:13Hello.
03:14You have been arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary.
03:19We know you are British airmen.
03:23Now, what is your name?
03:25What's he saying?
03:26I don't know.
03:27I don't speak a word of the language.
03:30No speaking Jerry.
03:34What does he say?
03:35I have no idea.
03:36Me!
03:37I have the fries book ready for when I lead the invasion of the England.
03:42I ask the questions.
03:44Ask them the names.
03:45What is your Nami?
03:46Nami?
03:47I don't have a Nami.
03:48I had a Nami once.
03:49Nami means mummy.
03:50What is my mummy?
03:51She's in the WVS.
03:52They make soup and things.
03:53What's he saying?
03:54You have lost me.
03:55Uh, mummy, mummy.
03:56Ah.
03:57It mean, preserve the body of Egyptian queen.
03:59It's me.
04:00He's very angry.
04:01No.
04:02He's very angry.
04:03No.
04:04No.
04:05No.
04:06No.
04:07No.
04:08No.
04:09No.
04:10No.
04:11No.
04:12No.
04:13No.
04:14No.
04:15No.
04:16No.
04:17No.
04:19No.
04:20No.
04:21No.
04:22No.
04:23No.
04:24No.
04:25No.
04:26No.
04:27No.
04:28No.
04:29No.
04:30No.
04:31No.
04:32No.
04:33No.
04:34No.
04:35No.
04:36No.
04:37No.
04:38No.
04:39No.
04:40No.
04:41No.
04:42No.
04:43No.
04:44No.
04:45No.
04:46No.
04:47No.
04:48No.
04:49No.
04:50BRING THEM IN HERE!
04:55Stand here where they can see you.
04:58Now, ask them if they know these people.
05:03Do you...
05:05know...
05:06these...
05:07Piopoli?
05:10I think he wants us to identify them.
05:13We...
05:14know...
05:15know...
05:16Piopoli.
05:17He does not know Mrs. Piopoli either.
05:20This is getting us nowhere.
05:23We will have to find an interpreter.
05:25Lock them in the chateau.
05:27Gruber, take them in your little tank.
05:29Yes, Coronel.
05:30Come now.
05:32And Gruber...
05:34Yes, Coronel?
05:35Do not let them escape!
05:37Of course, Coronel.
05:38I will keep the Egyptian in the front with me.
05:43May we go now, Colonel?
05:45Yes, for the time being.
05:47But I hope for your sake
05:49that they're telling the truth.
05:51If the General finds you've been hiding them,
05:53I will not be able to save you.
05:55Colonel, we know nothing.
05:56I'm sure we would have remembered them
05:58if we had seen them before.
06:00Especially in those suits.
06:03Get out!
06:05Oh, Colonel, will you be requiring your usual table tonight?
06:08Get out!
06:09I'll take that as a loose no.
06:19General von Klinkerhofen!
06:24Heil Hitler!
06:26Wait.
06:28Transcomple Helga, you were given this luxurious room
06:32in order to seduce Herr Flick of the Gestapo
06:35into a quick marriage.
06:36To enable you to spy on him on our behalf
06:39to track down the resistance
06:41to help the British Airmen to escape.
06:43You will be aware that our troops have captured the British Airmen
06:46and they are now in the North East Tower,
06:49awaiting collection by Army Intelligence Officers from Berlin.
06:52You are therefore no longer required to marry Herr Flick.
06:55Oh, what a relief!
06:57This being the case, you will no longer need the room.
06:59You will vacate it by midday.
07:02Oh, dear!
07:03But I've grown so used to it!
07:09Forgive my salty tears,
07:10but I've never been used to such luxury.
07:13Being the daughter of a poor,
07:15widowed, Bavarian strudel chopper.
07:20It will be very hard to return to my unsprung
07:22truckle bed above the bakery
07:26for the heat
07:28and the charcoal fumes
07:31and the B.O. of the bakers.
07:35Do not go on.
07:36I, too, will be crying.
07:38You may keep it for one more night.
07:40Oh, General, how can I ever thank you?
07:45Prepare a light dinner for us.
07:47I will bring the champagne.
07:52Havelick!
07:53Why have you crept up the Creeper?
07:56Holders have been given to the guards,
07:57forbidding my entry.
07:59But nothing could keep me from you.
08:00I have been sleepless
08:01ever since you proposed marriage to me.
08:02I accept.
08:04I'm afraid I've changed my mind.
08:06What?
08:07Can I believe my ears?
08:08When I was asleep last night on that very bed,
08:09I was suddenly aroused by a prickly feeling.
08:11Where?
08:12All over.
08:14At the end of the bed stood the ghostly figure of a monk.
08:16How do you know it was a monk?
08:17It was a monk.
08:18I was a monk.
08:19I was a monk.
08:20A monk.
08:21A monk.
08:22A monk.
08:23A monk.
08:24A monk.
08:25A monk.
08:26A monk.
08:27A monk.
08:28A monk.
08:29A monk.
08:30A monk.
08:31A monk.
08:32A monk.
08:33A monk.
08:34A monk.
08:35A monk.
08:36A monk.
08:37A monk.
08:38A monk.
08:39A monk.
08:40A monk.
08:41A monk.
08:42A monk.
08:43A monk.
08:44A monk.
08:45A monk.
08:46A monk.
08:47A monk.
08:48A monk.
08:49A monk.
08:50A monk.
08:51A monk.
08:52A monk.
08:53A monk.
08:54A monk.
08:55A monk.
08:56A monk.
08:57A monk.
08:58A monk.
08:59A monk.
09:00A monk.
09:01A monk.
09:02A monk.
09:03A monk.
09:04A monk.
09:05A monk.
09:06at it and shook his head like this. I regard it as an omen. Your story has sent a shiver down my
09:17spine. I was told once by an old gypsy who I was interrogating that one day one of the four
09:25horsemen of the apocalypse would knock at my door. Your story has reminded me of an experience
09:31that has haunted me ever since. Maybe the knock is nearer than you think.
09:36It is von Smogelhausen.
09:46Herr Flick, I came at once. I discovered the general is holding the British airman in the
09:52east tower. We must inform Berlin at once. Come von Smogelhausen. I'm not sure we should pay
10:01too much attention to your see-through monk. If he should appear again call me at once.
10:07There are one or two questions I should like to ask him.
10:11Herr Flick, Herr Flick. There will be no time for the Gestapo in Berlin to act. Army intelligence
10:18officers have been dispatched to collect the British airmen. They are to be put on the
10:21train for Berlin in the morning. Then we must act tonight. Come von Smogelhausen to our quarters.
10:27Keep still or I shall stick a pin in you. What is going on in here? These are the bridesmaids'
10:39dresses for the wedding of my mother. Who is paying for all this? You are. It is our responsibility.
10:47Madame Itis, there is something not quite right up here. It is tight at the bottom and loose at the top.
10:56She must have read the measurements upside down. Madame Lenard will have to completely remake it.
11:03But that will mean more expense. No, no. I cannot afford it. Here. Bun be easy.
11:08Just put a bit of lace on top. It will be all right. I will not have it. They will both
11:17have to be completely remade. Winnie, about your eyes. And stop looking in the mirror.
11:33Good morning. I did not expect to see a stroke twos.
11:41Please, behind the screen, photo of you.
11:45Winnie?
11:48I will show my mother her wedding duress. Oh, she will flip her lid.
11:57I hope she does not thonk that I am a pooping Tim.
12:03What do you want?
12:05I have had a massage from Michelle.
12:09You are to tell London that the earmen are being kept in the castle.
12:15He means kept in the castle.
12:18Get on with your dressing.
12:19They are to be rescued and she has a plin. It will be reviled at a later dot.
12:24But as long as the plin does not involve me, huh?
12:28Winnie, it is the time for speaking to London.
12:31Well, I cannot work the mechanism of the new aerial, so hard bun.
12:34I can walk the mechanism, because I have seen it din.
12:39Well, in that case, you had better follow me.
12:41Mama, is it not beautiful?
12:48Oh, it is stunning.
12:52Oh, I shall knock them dead.
12:56And now, Mama, about the hymns for the service.
13:00I thought, Rock of Ages.
13:04Oh, Ernest would enjoy that one.
13:07Love divine, all loves excelling.
13:10How does that go?
13:13Love divine, all loves excelling.
13:17Yes, I remember it.
13:20Love divine, all loves excelling.
13:23Love divine, all loves excelling.
13:24Love divine.
13:26I have done that.
13:28No, no, no, no, no, no.
13:30You have set the dogs off now.
13:33No, no, no, no.
13:34Move, move, move, shut down.
13:36I can't destroy you now.
13:38Well now, why have I brought with you, sir Fuzz?
13:41I have come to walk your rudio.
13:44The controls are in the cupboard.
13:46I will press the liver.
13:49Oh, oh, oh.
13:51And I'm never to be left in peace.
13:59Willie, the earth is moving.
14:02It has nothing to do with you.
14:07I will now engorge the other swatches.
14:11No, no, Edith, remove the knob.
14:17Oh, not a good, no.
14:21I hope this does not happen on the honeymoon.
14:33Why not? Nothing else will happen.
14:38Hello, Nighthawk. Hello, Nighthawk.
14:40Pass your message.
14:42Edith, where is the code book?
14:46Oh, Ronnie, the mice have eaten it.
14:49Look.
14:51Pass your message. Pass your message.
14:54Hello, London. The mice have eaten the code book.
14:57The mice have eaten the code book.
15:00I will look it up.
15:02It is not code. It means the code book is full of little holes.
15:05We will have to charge you for a new one.
15:08Give it to me.
15:10Jack and Jill are in the nick.
15:12Nighthawks in a funk.
15:13If you call with no reply, it means he's done a bunk.
15:17I'll tell you what, Fairfax.
15:26If you cut our rubber suits up into strips, tie them together into a sort of elastic band, secure them to the pillow and jump out of the window.
15:34If you don't have any clothes on.
15:38Good point.
15:38And if you went running around the countryside without uniforms, we could be shot as spies.
15:44I've got St. Michael on my wife's runs.
15:48The Nazis are not interested in religion.
15:50Who is this?
15:57We are not open.
15:59Oh, Lieutenant.
16:01Let me in quickly.
16:03I do not wish to be seen visiting you.
16:08Renny, you know that I am very fond of you,
16:12so I am about to do something that may seem, as it were, out of character for a German officer.
16:17I do not suppose it will.
16:20If we are seen, we could be in severe trouble.
16:28Look, do not do anything hasty, Lieutenant.
16:31Why do you not have a cognac while we talk about it?
16:33Eh, Edith, there is a soul here outside.
16:36Quick, hide behind the bar.
16:38In fact, we have customers.
16:40Get down.
16:43The British airmen are to be skillfully interrogated in Berlin.
16:47They will reveal that you have been helping them.
16:51But, Lieutenant, I have never admitted it.
16:53Renny, you and I know each other very well.
16:56I know what you are thinking, and you will know what I am thinking.
17:01This is true.
17:03If they arrest you, they will find out the hiding place of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies by Van Klomp.
17:10I had forgotten about that.
17:12To this end, I must do something.
17:15Here, take these.
17:20They are the keys to the chateau.
17:22Do you wish me to hide in your room?
17:24Only as a last resort.
17:27This one fits the small west door of the chateau.
17:30This one fits the cell in the east tower.
17:34Get your wife to bake a tart.
17:36Hide the keys inside, and have it delivered to the airmen.
17:39They are very heavy.
17:41This is why I am ordering the food from you with Madame Edith's pastry.
17:44No one will suspect.
17:47If the airmen could escape, it would be to the benefit of us all.
17:51I will say no more.
17:53Renny!
17:55What are you doing on the floor, behind the bar, with Lieutenant Gruber?
17:59You stupid woman!
18:03He has come here at great personal risk.
18:06Renny, I must leave at once.
18:08Yes, go the back way, Lieutenant.
18:10If you are questioned, deny everything.
18:15Renny, what is it you are to deny if I ask you a question about it?
18:20He thinks that once in Berlin, the British airmen will talk,
18:22and we will all be in trouble.
18:24Now, he has given me these keys.
18:26This one is for the west door of the chateau.
18:28This one is for the cell in the east tower.
18:30You are to put them in the tart.
18:33We'll have to make every pastry than usual.
18:36That will be quite an event.
18:37Oh, can people not read?
18:41We are closed.
18:43It is Michelle.
18:44I have a plan to rescue the airmen.
18:51We will disguise ourselves as undertakers.
18:54Go to the chateau with two coffins.
18:56Tell the guards that the airmen have died under interrogation.
18:59The airmen will get into the coffins, and we will carry them out.
19:03What do you think?
19:04What do I think?
19:06This is the most ridiculous suicide mission you have ever come up with, Michelle.
19:10With a cock and bull story like that, we will not even get past the guards.
19:14We do not need to.
19:15We have the key to the back door of the castle, and the key to the cell.
19:19Then it is settled.
19:20We move on the chateau tonight.
19:24Big mouth.
19:25Yes, Herr Flick.
19:36In 30 minutes from now, we are going to the chateau, disguised as German officers, to collect the British prisoners.
19:43Why are you not dressed?
19:44I'm sorry, Herr Flick.
19:46They had to alter the uniform to my size.
19:48It is promised in 10 minutes.
19:51Go and collect it, and meet me at the chateau.
19:53So, do not be late.
19:55Yes, Herr Flick.
20:04There is the door.
20:06The coast is clear.
20:07If we are spitted, it will not be oozy to run, currying a kiffin.
20:24They'll probably end up in a kiffin.
20:26What is the matter?
20:45My dear kitty girl, I do not think I shall enter the castle.
20:48The stairs would be too much for me.
20:52Well, I think you are showing a yellow streak.
20:55Guard your tongue, monsieur.
20:57I come from a long line of brave undertakers.
21:00Our honor is sacred.
21:02Your honor?
21:03Stop rabbiting and follow René.
21:05See, the key fits.
21:16Sounds like your mother getting out of bed.
21:20They never heard of three-in-one in this chateau.
21:22I can't help you.
21:45You dance divinely, General.
21:48No, so do you, Helga.
21:49It must be most unusual for a general to be dancing with a lance corporal.
21:53In vortime, we take what we can get.
21:57My sergeant's strikes still seem a long way of a.
22:01In my estimation, they are about from here to that sofa.
22:19The hindu came off.
22:31Come on.
22:35What was that noise?
22:36I'm sure it was nothing important.
22:39Should you not investigate?
22:42Oh, very well.
22:44There is the staircase.
22:51At the top of the staircase is another staircase.
22:53I remember it from when I was a serving girl.
22:56It leads to the East Tower.
23:01What was that noise?
23:02I was dusting when I was over a bust of Napoleon.
23:11I've cleaned it up.
23:14Is it not the stove?
23:16Yes, General.
23:17Good night.
23:18I cannot carry a coffin down those stairs with my tricky truss.
23:28I shall stay down here as I look out.
23:30I think it is not the truss that is stopping you.
23:32I think you have not the bottle.
23:34You are calling me a coward.
23:36If the type of hits.
23:40You have gone too far, monsieur.
23:42Hunger!
23:59Fools.
24:00Stop them, somebody.
24:01They will get us all shot.
24:02What are they doing?
24:03It is a matter of honor.
24:05They both come from noble families.
24:07Noble families?
24:08They're all burglars.
24:09Stop it.
24:16Stop it.
24:18You will get us all killed.
24:20Oh, those stupid fools.
24:22What are they playing at?
24:24It is a matter of a Frenchman's honor.
24:26You would not understand.
24:28What do you mean, I would not understand?
24:31What do you know about honor?
24:32Flugging your mutton in the sewers of Paris.
24:35Oh!
24:36Oh!
24:37Oh!
24:39Stuff it!
24:44That is something I could afford everybody.
24:49That is something I could afford everybody.
24:50Luba, what's all this rumpus?
25:11It is all right, coronel.
25:13Just cigars indulging in a little horseplay.
25:16Make sure it doesn't disturb the general.
25:18He will not easily be disturbed.
25:33I'm sorry I am late, Herr Flick.
25:35They were still sewing on my medals.
25:37How dare you wear the uniform of a field marshal?
25:40He was the only one that fitted.
25:43Try to be inconspicuous.
25:48My name is Captain Heisengurkin.
25:53I am here to collect the British Airmen.
25:56Let me pass.
25:56I'm sorry.
25:57I cannot admit anybody of a rank less than major.
26:02How about a field marshal?
26:04Us, field marshal.
26:06For me, Captain Heisengurkin.
26:09Shall I have just heard somebody moving about upstairs?
26:18Let us get out of here where we still can.
26:20We cannot yet abandon our mission.
26:22We will hide downstairs until all goes quiet.
26:24No, not again.
26:47Hoover, what is going on?
27:12Nothing of which I am aware, General.
27:16What is all this noise?
27:23Are these officers?
27:25I do not know.
27:27I'm very confused.
27:33Stand aside for Field Marshal von Krakenfart.
27:37You are not Field Marshal von Krakenfart.
27:40You're an Imposter.
27:41Roll out to God.
27:43Roll out to God.
27:44Roll out to God.
27:47Roll out to God.
27:49Oh, they're calling out the guard.
27:51Let us scab her.
27:56Wait for Moo.
28:12Yo, которой they're going on my cred in the mix of Del Brasmaking,
28:13you know, everything that's called me and I'll give you a CIER,
28:17don't get you out there, don't feel it.
28:20Thank you for having me.
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