00:00You know, I was reading the book of Matthew yesterday, and there's something a lot of people never really stop
00:08and deal with before they pray.
00:10And I think it's one of the reasons why so many people feel stuck.
00:15They go to God asking for help.
00:18They ask for healing, peace, doors to open.
00:22And they ask for their family to be okay and for strength to get through whatever it is that they're
00:30carrying.
00:31But under all of that, they are still holding on to people who hurt them.
00:37They are still carrying anger.
00:40They're still replaying what somebody did, you know, having the same argument in your head with the person that's not
00:48even in your life anymore.
00:49Then they wonder why prayer feels heavy.
00:54And that's where this truth that I noticed yesterday comes into play.
00:59You see, the teaching is simple, but it cuts deep.
01:05Matthew says,
01:07Before you pray to your Father in heaven, forgive everyone who has hurt you or wronged you, so your Father
01:14in heaven will forgive you.
01:17Now, that sounds easy until the hurt is real, right?
01:22Because some wounds are not small.
01:25Some people did not just annoy you.
01:28They changed something in you.
01:30They betrayed you when you were open.
01:33They lied when you trusted them.
01:36They used your kindness.
01:38They walked away at the exact time you needed them most.
01:43And some people said things to you that keep echoing in your mind long after the conversation has ended.
01:51So, when someone says forgiveness comes before prayer, it can feel like a lot.
01:59It can feel unfair.
02:01It can feel like the burden is being placed on the one who got wounded.
02:05And I was thinking that through, and I do not think this is God being unfair to you.
02:12The more I thought about this, I think this is God trying to free you before you even speak a
02:20request.
02:22Because unforgiveness does something to a person.
02:26It gets into your system.
02:28It changes the way you think.
02:30It changes the way you hear.
02:32It changes the way you carry yourself, whether you know it or not.
02:38It can make you sharp, guarded.
02:41It can make you tired in places that sleep does not fix.
02:47You can be smiling on the outside and still have a locked room inside where old pain is sitting there
02:54every day,
02:56taking up space, energy, and ruining your peace.
03:02So, you go and pray.
03:04And maybe the words sound right.
03:06Maybe you mean every one of them.
03:09Maybe you really do love God.
03:12But deep in the middle of it all, there is still a clenched part of your heart that is not
03:18let go.
03:19That is what this teaching is reaching into.
03:23You see, I believe, you know, this is it.
03:28This is the secret to getting your prayers answered.
03:30It says, before you ask for anything, stop and deal honestly with what you are still carrying.
03:39Now, that's not weak.
03:40That actually makes you strong and honest.
03:44And our God, well, our God appreciates honesty.
03:48It's where he does some of his best work.
03:51And most people think strength is holding on.
03:55They think strength is keeping score.
03:58They think strength is remembering every detail so nothing gets dismissed.
04:04But there's a kind of pain that starts owning you when you keep feeding it.
04:09It stops being something that happened to you and starts becoming something that owns you.
04:17You know what I'm talking about?
04:19It shapes your mood, your reactions, your peace, your prayer life, and your ability to trust.
04:27And at some point, you're not just remembering the wound anymore.
04:32You're living under it.
04:34And that's why this matters so much, I believe.
04:38Because when Jesus taught about forgiveness before prayer,
04:42he was not giving people some cold religious rule.
04:46He was showing them how the heart works.
04:49You see, he was showing them that heaven's life does not move cleanly through a bitter soul.
04:56You cannot keep drinking from resentment and expect peace to taste right.
05:04You cannot keep holding people in debt in your heart and expect your inner world to stay light.
05:12You cannot keep returning to the same injury and not be shaped by it.
05:19And here's the truth a lot of people never hear.
05:23Forgiveness is not pretending it did not happen.
05:28Forgiveness is not saying it's okay.
05:31Forgiveness is not saying that they were right.
05:35It's not giving evil a pass.
05:39Forgiveness is you refusing to be the place where that poison keeps living.
05:45And that's a huge difference.
05:48Because you're not saying the damage was small.
05:52You're saying, I will not let this become my master.
05:56And I think there are people listening right now who have been asking God for things for a long time.
06:02But they're still dragging old names into every prayer.
06:07They're still carrying the face of the person who betrayed them.
06:10They're still carrying the voice of the person that broke them down.
06:17You know, every prayer gets mixed with this.
06:21Every request is clouded by it.
06:24And maybe, just maybe, nobody knows that but them and God.
06:32You see, but God sees it.
06:35And He sees the wound within you.
06:38He sees your anger.
06:39He sees what it cost you.
06:41He sees the part of you that still wants justice.
06:46Hey, you still want an apology.
06:48You still want somebody to finally admit what they did and it was wrong.
06:53God sees all of this.
06:55So, when He tells you to forgive before you pray, He's not dismissing your pain.
07:02He's calling you out of a prison.
07:05Think about that.
07:07A lot of people are waiting on a breakthrough while still holding the bars themselves.
07:13And maybe the breakthrough starts here.
07:18Maybe it starts when you finally say, Father, you know what they did.
07:24You know how deeply it hurt me.
07:26And I'm not saying it was right.
07:29I'm not pretending it was small.
07:32But I refuse to keep carrying this into every room that I enter.
07:37I refuse to keep dragging this into every prayer I pray.
07:42I forgive.
07:44And I release them to you.
07:47I put them in your hands.
07:50Now clean my heart.
07:52Hear me.
07:54And forgive me my sins.
07:57And that's a real prayer.
08:00That's an honest prayer.
08:01And you know what?
08:03Our God does some of His best work through honest prayer.
08:07It's not polished and it's not performative.
08:11It's a human being standing before God and telling the truth.
08:17And I think that's why this truth has lasted all through the New Testament and through the disciples of Jesus
08:24Christ.
08:24It's not because it's not because it's because it's because it works at the deepest level of real life.
08:32It breaks something loose in you.
08:35It breaks something loose in you.
08:36It opens you, clears something.
08:38It gets the smoke out of the room.
08:41Then, then, and only then, you can pray differently.
08:48Then you're not speaking through clenched teeth.
08:51Then you are not asking God for peace while feeding bitterness at the same time.
08:57Then, then, your heart is open.
09:02Hope can breathe again.
09:05Faith stops sounding like effort and starts sounding like trust.
09:10And that part matters too.
09:13Then pray and ask.
09:16Ask for what you need.
09:18Ask for help.
09:20Ask for wisdom, provision.
09:23Ask for healing.
09:27Ask for strength and ask for it boldly.
09:31Ask honestly.
09:33Ask like someone who is no longer trying to reach God with a closed fist.
09:39Some of you do not need more complicated prayers.
09:44You need a cleaner heart.
09:45And some of you do not need better words.
09:49You need release.
09:52Some of you do not need to force spiritual power.
09:56You need to stop carrying old pain like it has the legal right to live within you.
10:03So, before you pray next time, stop for a moment.
10:08Bring the names to God.
10:11Bring your hurt to God.
10:12Do it even if your feelings are still catching up.
10:18Tell him exactly who you forgive.
10:22Do it even before there was ever an apology.
10:26Do it if there was never an apology.
10:29Do it even if part of you is still shaking saying it.
10:34Put that person in God's hands.
10:37And let your soul come out of that fight.
10:40Then pray.
10:42Then ask.
10:44Because a heart that forgives is not empty.
10:48It's finally open.
10:51And an open heart is ready to receive.
10:57My name is Douglas Vandergraaf.
11:00And I believe in Jesus Christ.
11:03God bless every single one of you.
11:08Every single one.
11:15Bye-bye.
11:16Bye-bye.
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