00:00You know, you might be surprised to hear this, and then again, you might not.
00:06I wake up every morning at 3 a.m., and I replay the day.
00:12My brain comes up with a plan for every single negative thing that could possibly happen in the next 24
00:18hours.
00:19I live three days in the future.
00:22I think I'm just so exhausted by the time I get through going through all the crap and the anxiety
00:27that I just go back to sleep.
00:30But every morning at 3 a.m., I got the TV on just to drown out the noise.
00:37You may be listening to this right now with a tired mind and a tight chest.
00:43Maybe nobody around you can tell because you've learned how to keep moving
00:49while something inside you feels like it's shaking.
00:53You answer the messages.
00:55Hey, if you're like me, you do the work.
00:57You smile.
00:58When you need the smile.
01:01And you say, I'm fine.
01:04Because explaining what is happening inside you would take longer and more strength than you have at the moment.
01:13And if you're anything like me, you're tired of saying it because you don't really feel like anybody is hearing
01:21you.
01:22And then the night comes.
01:26And that's when it gets louder.
01:28It does for me, at least.
01:30You know, the room gets quiet, but your thoughts do not.
01:34You start replaying conversations.
01:38You start replaying conversations.
01:38You think about money.
01:39You think about family.
01:41You think about your health.
01:43You think about what could go wrong.
01:45You wonder if you missed something.
01:48You wonder if you've made a wrong decision.
01:51Or why peace feels so far away when you've been praying so hard to feel it.
02:00And maybe, maybe the hardest part is not even the anxiety itself.
02:07Maybe the hardest part is wondering where God is while you're feeling it.
02:14Because if you're like me, you believe in Jesus Christ.
02:20You really do.
02:21You're not trying to run from him.
02:24You're not trying to live without him.
02:26You're trying to trust him, but your body feels afraid.
02:32Your mind feels crowded.
02:34Your heart feels worn down.
02:38And you keep telling yourself to calm down.
02:41But telling yourself to calm down does not always make you calm.
02:48If ever.
02:49So, let me say this plainly.
02:53You are not weak because anxiety gets loud.
02:58You are human.
03:00And God, well, God is not standing far away from you because your faith feels tired tonight.
03:07Sometimes, we act like anxiety means we have failed spiritually.
03:14We think if we were stronger, we would not feel this.
03:18If we prayed better, we would not struggle.
03:23And if we trusted God enough, our minds would never race.
03:30But that's not how real life works.
03:35A tired heart can still belong to God.
03:39A worried mind can still reach for heaven.
03:43A shaking person can still be held by a steady Savior.
03:49And fear can be loud without being final.
03:54And that matters.
03:56Because anxiety, well, anxiety has a way of acting like it gets the last word.
04:05It speaks in a voice that feels urgent.
04:08It tells you that everything is falling apart.
04:12It tells you the worst thing that will happen.
04:16It tells you that you are alone with what you cannot fix.
04:20And it makes tomorrow feel like a monster standing at the foot of the bed.
04:26Sometimes I ask myself,
04:28Doug, if you can lay here and overthink the worst,
04:33Why can't you lay here and overthink the best?
04:39But anxiety is loud.
04:42And it may be loud, but anxiety is not God.
04:47It is not our Lord speaking in our head.
04:51You know, there's a difference between a thought that scares you
04:55and a truth that carries you.
05:00Anxiety throws thoughts at you fast.
05:03God, God speaks deeper than panic.
05:07He does not always yell over the noise.
05:10And sometimes he just draws nearer to us within it.
05:16Sometimes his peace does not come as a sudden feeling.
05:21Sometimes it comes as the strength to take one more breath
05:25and not give up.
05:28Maybe, maybe that's what you need right now.
05:34Not a perfect answer.
05:36Not a full map of your future.
05:40Not someone telling you to get over it.
05:43Maybe what you need is to know that God has not left the room
05:49just because your heart feels unsettled.
05:53He's near to the brokenhearted.
05:57Remember that.
05:58That is not just a verse that people say when they do not know what else to say.
06:04That is a truth for the person who feels cracked open inside.
06:09God does not move away from pain.
06:13He moves toward it.
06:15Think back to the stories in the New Testament.
06:18Jesus did not avoid weary people.
06:22He invited them close.
06:24He said,
06:25come to him when you are tired and heavy.
06:30Not when you have it all together or when everything is steady.
06:35Not when your thoughts are clean and organized.
06:38He said, come to him when you are weary.
06:45And that means you can come when you're feeling anxious.
06:49You can come with a messy prayer.
06:51You can come with the same fear you brought to him yesterday.
06:56You can come when your words are not impressive.
07:01You can come when all you can say is,
07:08God, I need you.
07:11I do not know how to calm down.
07:15I do not know how to carry this.
07:20Please, help me.
07:23And that kind of prayer reaches heaven.
07:28Maybe tonight you do not need to solve your entire life.
07:32Maybe you just need to stop demanding that your mind answer questions only God can hold.
07:40There are some things you are not meant to figure out at midnight.
07:45There are some things you are not meant to figure out at two or three in the morning.
07:49There are some burdens that grow heavier when you keep turning them over and over in your own head.
07:58You can care deeply without carrying everything alone.
08:05Cast your cares on God.
08:07Not because the care is small.
08:10Because he cares for you.
08:14And that means the thing bothering you matters to God.
08:20The bill matters.
08:22The diagnosis matters.
08:24The child you are worried about matters.
08:28The job pressure matters.
08:32The loneliness you are feeling, that matters.
08:37The decision in front of you matters.
08:39The thing that you cannot say out loud without crying matters.
08:45And God is not annoyed that you keep bringing the same things to him.
08:50A loving father does not get tired of his child reaching for his hand in the dark.
08:58Take a breath with that.
09:01You do not have to pretend you are not afraid.
09:04You can tell God the truth.
09:07Lord, I am scared.
09:12I am tired.
09:14And my mind is loud.
09:16I want to trust you.
09:19But I feel overwhelmed.
09:22And that is not disrespect.
09:25That is honesty.
09:27And God can handle your honest heart.
09:31You see, anxiety often tries to pull you out of the present.
09:37It drags you and me into a future that has not even happened yet.
09:41It makes you live through pain that may never even come.
09:46Jesus told us not to be consumed by tomorrow.
09:51Because tomorrow has enough trouble of its own.
09:55And that was not him dismissing real problems, you see.
09:58That was him protecting your soul from trying to live too many days at once.
10:06You were given grace for today.
10:10Not next month.
10:12Not every possible disaster.
10:14Not every outcome your mind can come up with or imagine.
10:18Today.
10:20Today.
10:21This breath.
10:22This moment.
10:24This step.
10:27This prayer.
10:29And when anxiety says,
10:32What if everything goes wrong?
10:35Faith has an answer.
10:38God will be with me there too.
10:42And that does not mean that you will never face hard things.
10:46That's life.
10:48Hard things will come.
10:50But it means you will never face them without him.
10:54You know, there is a peace Jesus gives that the world just cannot give.
11:00The world's peace depends on everything looking safe.
11:06Jesus' peace, well, that comes even when life is not fully settled.
11:13His peace does not always remove the storm around you.
11:17But it can steady the place inside you that the storm keeps trying to reach.
11:26So tonight, Tor, whenever you hear this, I want you to stop fighting yourself for just one moment.
11:35Stop calling yourself a failure because you are anxious.
11:39Stop believing that God is disappointed because you are struggling.
11:44Stop assuming that the noise in your mind means heaven is silent.
11:51Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is whisper,
11:57Jesus, stay close to me and believe he already is.
12:03You may not feel strong right now, and that is okay.
12:08You do not have to feel strong to be held by God.
12:13A child does not have to be strong to be carried.
12:18A sheep does not have to understand the whole field to be guided by the shepherd.
12:25A tired soul does not have to explain everything perfectly to be loved.
12:34God sees you.
12:37Not the cleaned up version or the version you wish you were.
12:41He sees you right now, with the racing thoughts, the heavy eyes, the quiet fear,
12:50and the brave little part of you that still wants to believe.
12:55And he is still near.
12:58Let that be the truth you hold on to when the feelings keep changing.
13:04Let it be the sentence you come back to when anxiety starts talking again.
13:11God is near.
13:14God is here.
13:16God has not left me.
13:18I am not alone in this.
13:22And you may have to say it more than once.
13:25That does not make it fake.
13:27Sometimes, truth has to be repeated until your heart, until your heart can finally rest against it.
13:37So, take the next small step.
13:41Drink some water.
13:44Breathe slowly.
13:46Put down your phone if it's feeding the fear.
13:50Pray simply.
13:53Ask God for enough peace for the next hour.
13:57Then trust him for the hour after that when it comes.
14:03You do not have to win the whole battle tonight.
14:08Just do not surrender your heart to the fear.
14:13Anxiety may be loud, but God is still nearer than the noise.
14:18Fear may press hard, but it does not own your future.
14:25Your mind may feel crowded, but your life is still in the hands of the one who loves you.
14:32And when you lie down tonight, I hope you remember this.
14:38You are not forgotten.
14:41You are not being punished for being tired.
14:45You are not too anxious for God to love you.
14:51The Lord is close enough to hear the prayer you can barely speak.
14:56He is kind enough to stay with you through the night.
15:00He is strong enough to hold what you cannot carry.
15:05And he is faithful enough to meet you again in the morning.
15:11So rest if you can.
15:14Breathe if that is all you can do.
15:18And remember, your anxiety does not get the final word over your life.
15:26God does.
15:35God bless every single one of you.
15:41Every single one.
15:46Bye-bye.
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