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00:00My name's Mike Rowe, and this is my job.
00:06I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty.
00:11Crap. Ow.
00:12Hard-working men and women who earn an honest living.
00:15Oh, man, we're gonna be here all night.
00:17Doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
00:23Now get ready to get dirty.
00:27Coming up on Dirty Jobs, at the Chicago Botanic Garden, they collect seeds to prepare for the end of the
00:33world.
00:33Hold on, am I driving? You're driving.
00:34But first, we have to mow a lake.
00:37Is this top speed? That's top speed.
00:39Eradicating invasive species that threaten the very existence of seeds needed for a doomsday vault.
00:45The underwater lawnmower. First time I've had the pleasure.
00:48And later...
00:49Heliocris.
00:50Heliocris.
00:51It's a seedy job.
00:52Those are the seeds.
00:53And that's what goes in the vault.
00:54And that's what goes in the vault.
00:55But the survival of mankind may depend on it.
00:57The world is falling apart. The sky is falling. Oh, my God, we gotta get these seeds.
01:01Now you're singing our song, There Is No Hope on Dirty Jobs.
01:07Oh, God.
01:10Ah!
01:11Ah!
01:13Ah!
01:13Ah!
01:14Ah!
01:17Ah!
01:17Ah!
01:19Ah!
01:24Bad news, everyone.
01:25It's the end of the world.
01:27Yeah, I'm sorry to have to tell you, but Armageddon, it's here.
01:30I don't have a lot of details.
01:31Could have been a meteorite.
01:32May have been a, uh...
01:34Oh, some terrible disease sweeping through the species.
01:38Maybe man-made nuclear holocaust.
01:40Whatever the case, there's only a very small percentage of the species left to repopulate the world.
01:45Well, I'm kidding, of course, but can you imagine?
01:47What a drag that would be.
01:48So much to consider, so many things to do, so many challenges to overcome.
01:52For instance, what about all the plants, you know?
01:55Well, in a global killing event, how would the species not only repopulate itself, but
02:01how would we get all the great plants that we've come to rely and depend on to start growing
02:05again?
02:05Well, here at the Chicago Botanic Garden, they've got a doomsday vault.
02:09It's back there right now.
02:10And in the doomsday vault, they've got hundreds of millions, I think, of different types of
02:15seeds for different types of plants, so those few remaining survivors of a cataclysmic global
02:20killing event could band together and somehow replant everything, I think.
02:24I say I think because I'm not sure, but when somebody tells me there's a doomsday vault
02:28just outside Chicago, I'm coming for answers before it's too late.
02:37The Chicago Botanic Garden is part of an international conservation program called the Millennium Seed
02:42Bank.
02:43With hundreds of seed banks worldwide, the goal is to preserve the world's flora in the
02:48event of a catastrophe.
02:50And since the tall grass prairies of Illinois have been disappearing at an alarming rate,
02:56the research here is focused on preserving and restoring these important natural resources.
03:01Today, my job will be to travel the 385 acres of the garden and chop, hack, dig, destroy,
03:08collect, and count various plants and seeds in an effort to save the world of flora from
03:14certain extinction.
03:15But first, I had to meet a guy named Bob.
03:17Okay, so this is Bob.
03:18And Bob, that's your ride?
03:20That is.
03:20And what do you do here?
03:22And what is that?
03:23And what can I do to slow things down?
03:25Well, that's an aquatic plant harvester machine.
03:28It's like a lawn tractor for your lawn.
03:31It mows the large area of the lakes.
03:34And after we're done mowing the large area of the lakes with the harvester, we'll work
03:38around the edges of the lake and cut Eurasian water milfoil and other invasive plants that
03:43we have in here.
03:44So we're mowing the lake because we're looking after what?
03:47Milfoil?
03:47Milfoil.
03:48Eurasian water milfoil.
03:49It's a wildly invasive plant that we have here.
03:52So more and more, it seems like wherever we go on this show, we run into non-indigenous
03:57invasive species doing something bad.
04:00And that's obviously a big part of what your job is here.
04:04That's right.
04:05I'm the director of restoration ecology and we take care of the 81 acres of water that
04:10we have here at the garden.
04:11Let's go mow a lake.
04:13You got a name for her?
04:15We don't.
04:16That's a shame.
04:17A ship without a name?
04:18We're open to your ideas.
04:21How about big mo?
04:23Go ahead and sit down.
04:24Come on, am I driving?
04:25You're driving.
04:26Oh, interesting.
04:27Straddling.
04:28Isn't that all right?
04:29Bob?
04:30You got no hat today.
04:31I have no hat today.
04:32Bold move.
04:33Yeah.
04:35Shine.
04:35Maybe you guys can work something out.
04:38Okay, this is the stuff we're looking for?
04:40That's right.
04:40That's Eurasian water milfoil.
04:42Depending on which story, it came either in the 1940s, potentially to the reflecting pole of
04:49the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C., or about 100 years ago.
04:53Wait a second.
04:54How would it wind up at the Washington Monument?
04:56Well, one theory has it being an aquarium dump.
05:00It was a popular aquarium plant.
05:04Eurasian water milfoil was dumped purposefully into the reflecting pool in front of the Washington
05:11Monument.
05:12What do you do with it after you've collected it?
05:15When we're done here, we're going to back it up to this conveyor.
05:18It goes into the truck, and then later on, you'll be going on to our landscape waste facility
05:22where we mix it with leaves and twigs and dirt and logs and turn it into mulch.
05:26All right.
05:27Ready to fire this up?
05:27I am.
05:28All right.
05:29It was time to tear across the lake in pursuit of some serious invasive species.
05:34You can pull up on the throttle as far as it can come up.
05:37Black knob?
05:37Correct.
05:38So with the roar of the engine at our back, I open the throttle all the way up and begin
05:42our pursuit.
05:50Is this top speed?
05:51I'm sorry?
05:52Is this top speed?
05:53That's top speed.
05:54So the attack would be a slow death march, which gives me a chance to practice my underwater
06:00lawn mowing skills on some harmless lake weeds.
06:02This is a plant coming up here that's called coontail.
06:06We've got milfoil sort of out in the middle of the lake.
06:09There's a little bluegill.
06:10And it's called, I'm sorry, poontail?
06:12Coontail.
06:13Just like a raccoon's tail.
06:15Oh.
06:15How the milfoil got from the east coast to Illinois is anybody's guess.
06:19Could have been aquarium dumps or even a fragment of a plant hitchhiking on a boat or trailer.
06:25We're going to be starting the cutters.
06:27This whole arm lowers down.
06:29And when the sickles turn on, they cut back and forth.
06:32And then this conveyor belt takes the cut plants from below the water and stores in here.
06:37Great.
06:38So this will all pile up.
06:39That's right.
06:40That's right.
06:41Like a soldier on a search and destroy mission, I mowed down everything in my path.
06:45So we're looking for milfoil, but we're getting coontail.
06:49Yep.
06:49Holy smokes.
06:50As the assault continued, Bob told me how this is just one step to preserving the plants.
06:56By keeping the invasive species at bay, the native plants can flourish and provide seed.
07:01These seeds are collected and placed into the doomsday vault.
07:06Dave, you're very near some cutting edges there.
07:09You're near calamity.
07:11Started the day with five fingers.
07:13We'll see how many he ends up with.
07:15Yeah.
07:16What about my clippers down there?
07:17Are they going?
07:18They're going, but they're getting jammed up.
07:21Why don't we go ahead and turn the conveyor off?
07:23Crawl out there and get that off.
07:25Oh, I'll get her.
07:27All right.
07:29What you can do is just throw them up here on top of the harvester.
07:32Okay.
07:33Is this a proprietary device?
07:35It's an aquatic plant harvester.
07:38Or as folks who visit the garden a lot, it's the underwater lawnmower.
07:42The underwater lawnmower?
07:44Yeah.
07:45First time I've had the pleasure.
07:48Maybe just a little bit around the motor that's on your right-hand side behind you.
07:53Over here.
07:54You doing okay down there?
07:55Good.
07:56We'll head out back out this way and see if we can capture some milfoil.
08:00All right.
08:02Capture seems an ambitious term.
08:10Now there's some.
08:12And that was this guy here.
08:15Other way.
08:17Of course.
08:19That's all milfoil.
08:20But you don't have to get it by the root.
08:22You can't get it by the root.
08:23You can't really get it by the root.
08:27Milfoil with algae.
08:28That's the stuff.
08:30That's the stuff.
08:32Oh, there's a thick bunch of it.
08:35How often do you have to do this, Bob?
08:37We're pretty much running eight hours a day, five days a week when the plants are growing
08:41fast.
08:42To give you an idea of what growing fast means, how about an inch or more per day at the
08:47heights
08:47of the summer growing season?
08:49Today alone, we'll mow down hundreds of pounds of milfoil.
08:52So what about all that there?
08:53Should I go back and get that?
08:54Well, that's what we're going to do next.
08:56We're going to jump in the water and edge the lawn.
08:59This is the big lawn tractor going around the middle of the lawn.
09:02Oh, oh.
09:03Then we jump in the water and edge it.
09:05It's the next phase of the campaign awaited.
09:08But first, pardon me while I do my one good deed for the day.
09:12If I reverse the conveyor belt, send that bitch back to where he belongs?
09:16Sure.
09:16Let's slow down.
09:17There you can.
09:17Uh-oh.
09:19My friends at PETA will be pleased to know that no aquatic civilians were injured during
09:23the filming of this program.
09:25There he goes.
09:26Be free.
09:26There he goes.
09:28Okay.
09:29Slower on down a little bit.
09:31Go ahead and try and get that one hooked up to there, and then you can back the other
09:35one in.
09:40Sure you haven't driven one of these before?
09:42Pretty sure.
09:45All right, so now show me your special tool and introduce me to your fancy waiters.
09:50Coming up.
09:51Jerk it.
09:52It's the invasion of the invasive species.
09:54If we don't have plants on the earth, we'll be eating each other.
09:57I read a lot of Stephen King.
09:58I know what's going to happen.
09:59Yeah.
10:00And later.
10:01What's that squeaking?
10:02Listen.
10:03Saving plants.
10:04Yeah, yeah.
10:05Your big, meaty, hairy, hobbit knee on one of your little mouse nests.
10:08And irritating animals.
10:09Dave's knee.
10:10The ultimate invasive species.
10:21How are you, Sue?
10:22I'm good.
10:23Now, your name, Sue, is on some of the buildings here at the gardens?
10:27Well, they wanted a prairie, and so we love prairies, so we build a prairie for them.
10:33Can we chat about doomsday?
10:34Ness?
10:36I don't like the name doomed.
10:37I don't like it either, but that's what brought us here.
10:39Sounds like they're, you know, doomed, and they're not.
10:42We'll do this like a quiz show.
10:43I'll ask you the end of the world questions.
10:45We'll see how you do, Sue.
10:46I'm not up for quizzes.
10:48How long before the sun dies?
10:50Never.
10:51You really are an optimist.
10:52Of course it's going to.
10:53It has to die.
10:54It has to die.
10:54Five billion years.
10:55The death of the sun appears to be a sure thing.
10:57It will become extremely dense and can explode as a type of a supernova, I suppose.
11:02Where did you get this?
11:03On the internet?
11:04Yeah.
11:05Where everything is true.
11:07Oh, right.
11:11You remember Bob, of course.
11:12These are his fancy tools, and we will now proceed to the part of the program where we
11:16eliminate the mill foil from the perimeter of the lake.
11:22This is an underwater weed rake.
11:26So have you used one of these before?
11:28Honestly?
11:29No.
11:29Do you pull it toward you then?
11:30You put it parallel to the bottom of the lake, and you jerk it, and then this.
11:36That's razor sharp right there.
11:37It cuts the plants right.
11:38Okay.
11:39So the edges of this facing me, that's where the money is.
11:44So we're not pushing, we're pulling.
11:45So I'll be putting it behind the milk toast with a milk flex.
11:49What is it?
11:49Milfoil.
11:50Milfoil.
11:50Milfoil.
11:51I'm pulling.
11:52Yep, pulling this toward me.
11:53Exactly.
11:55This is all milfoil that we see here.
11:57Mil.
11:57Mil.
11:58Milfoil.
12:00Here's your weapon of choice.
12:02Yep.
12:02And now jerk it.
12:05There we go.
12:06You've done this before too, haven't you?
12:08Oh, I've been jerking for years.
12:10All right, you want to try raking some of this into the boat?
12:12I'm going to do more than try.
12:13I'm going to do it.
12:14You're going to do it.
12:14All right.
12:14It's rare if I've been so optimistic about the outcome of a task.
12:23Does this part of the job have anything to do with the doomsday vault?
12:28Well, it is.
12:29We're trying to keep these native plant communities intact.
12:32So it helps support the plants that we're then collecting seed.
12:37So do I understand the thought process right behind the doomsday vault?
12:41I mean, it's a conscious attempt to get as many different plants in one place under lock and key.
12:49The belief is that the doomsday won't happen, but some step short of that is probably going to be upon
12:56us.
12:56And so we're preparing for that because if we get to the doomsday scenario, we have quite a few problems.
13:03I'm just going to say, you know, the list of things I'm going to worry about, but it's just me
13:07and a few hundred people left.
13:08Right.
13:09But if we don't have plants on the earth to support you and a few hundred people left, we'll be
13:14eating each other.
13:14You'll be.
13:16I read a lot of Stephen King.
13:18I know what's going to happen.
13:20We're going to move into that area.
13:22This way?
13:22Yep.
13:22Where we got some.
13:23Oh, look at all that.
13:24All right.
13:24That's a pretty impressive milf up there.
13:35Could you take just a couple steps to your left?
13:37Watch that blade, though.
13:38I'll get my proper angle.
13:41And we should be, I guess we're wrapped for here.
13:44So I've gone from my size 8 waders to my size 13s for purposes of getting back in the water
13:50to get back into the nameless boat.
13:52To do what exactly?
13:53We're going to take the plants that we harvested earlier in the lake and put it up on the conveyor
13:59into the back of the dump truck.
14:01And that'll be hauled off to the landscape waste site where you'll mix it with leaves and dirt and sticks
14:06and stumps and turn it into mulch.
14:08After trudging through Lake No Name, still, there was no doomsday vault in sight.
14:13Throttle up.
14:14However, this part of the job was welcome respite.
14:17After all, how hard can sitting on a boat operating a conveyor belt be?
14:23Spread it out just a little bit so we don't dump too much weight on it once or it could
14:27plug up the conveyor system.
14:30How do you spread it out?
14:31Just a little bit dump.
14:33Oh, okay.
14:33Pause for a few seconds and dump a little more.
14:36Stop.
14:37Whoop.
14:37Whoop.
14:37Why don't you pull it the other way?
14:42Looks like the main conveyor belt stopped.
14:45Whoop.
14:46We plugged her up.
14:47All right.
14:48You got to get a little bit dirty.
14:49We went a little too fast.
14:50We got to take a rake and shovel some of the conveyor back into the harvester because there's too much
14:56weight right now on it.
14:58Oh, that's why it stopped?
14:59Yep.
15:00And then turn the key off and we'll take a rake and shovel a little bit in the back.
15:04I didn't realize it was that sensitive.
15:09How much weight can this handle?
15:12I'm not sure.
15:13I know that we, uh...
15:15Not this much.
15:15We, we from time to time do what you just did and we get just a little too aggressive.
15:21At this race, the end of days may come before I even get to the doomsday vault.
15:28It's heavier than it looks, actually.
15:30All I can say is it better be worth it.
15:33Most aquatic plants are 95 to 99 percent.
15:37Water, if we were to leave this in the sun for a few days, it would pretty much turn to
15:41dust.
15:41Like hay.
15:42Yep.
15:42Yeah.
15:43All right, I think that's pretty good, Mike.
15:45I'm pretty optimistic we'll be able to get it going with this slate.
15:49I'm still fascinated by what happens when coontail dries out.
15:52But again, I'm easily amused.
15:56Okay.
15:58Now go ahead and put the conveyor on and we'll get rid of what we've already got in it.
16:03There we go.
16:04Come on, go!
16:11See, you just gotta give it a little, little jerk here and there.
16:15One more time.
16:17It throttled up all the way.
16:24Oh, look at that big clump.
16:28Oh, no.
16:30Nice shot.
16:34Good.
16:35How about do it?
16:36That's it.
16:39Okay, so now you've got a dump truck full of invasive flora.
16:43What can we do next?
16:44Can we drive the truck somewhere?
16:44You can go ahead and drive the truck over to the landscape waste and Manny will be meeting you over
16:49there and show you how to heat it in the tub grinder and turn it into mulch.
16:52Manny or Manny?
16:53Manny.
16:53Let's go meet Manny.
16:56Now, if I didn't have such great respect for the fine folks at the Chicago Botanic Garden, I would almost
17:01think they were using me to do all their dirty work.
17:04I don't mind doing the dirty work.
17:05It's part of the bargain.
17:06But I came here for the vault.
17:08Hello?
17:09The vault?
17:12In hindsight, Bob turned out to be the easiest of the bunch.
17:16My next stop brought me to Manny and his tools of torture.
17:23Coming up.
17:24I'm going to press a button and watch all this thing start spinning and chirping and grinding and spitting and
17:28vomiting.
17:28Nothing.
17:28Rubbish.
17:29I know you were good for something.
17:30The deadly weed.
17:31Don't go in there.
17:32That's hammered by a hammer mill.
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:34Feed the beast.
17:36And later, in every doomsday movie.
17:38If I weren't here, you'd be in the middle of some sort of work.
17:40And what would that look like?
17:41There's always a sexy scientist.
17:43Like me with my ass up in the air.
17:45Down on my knees trying to get back.
17:46Where have you been all my life?
17:57Now, do you know what time it is right now on the doomsday clock?
18:01Who wrote this thing?
18:02I found it on the interweb.
18:03It's got to be true.
18:05Now, the doomsday clock.
18:06I think what they did, a bunch of smart people got together and said,
18:09based on world affairs, nuclear capability, and just a general bunch of pessimists got
18:16together and said, you know, if it gets to midnight, that's the end of it.
18:19I don't know.
18:20You're talking to the wrong person if you're talking about the end of the world or doomsday.
18:24I'm an optimist.
18:26You're a glass half-full kind of guy.
18:28Well, I, yeah.
18:30As of January 14th, 2010, the doomsday clock stands at six minutes to midnight.
18:34Also depressing.
18:35Have we had enough of this?
18:42Howdy.
18:43Hey.
18:43How are you doing, Mike?
18:44Howdy.
18:45Mike.
18:45Nice to meet you, Mike.
18:46Nice to meet you.
18:46Wow.
18:47I just started hitting buttons, and I hope I got the right one.
18:49It looks like I might have.
18:50Yes.
18:51Definitely you did it.
18:52This is where you work?
18:53This is your office?
18:53This is where I work.
18:54This is my favorite place in the gardens.
18:57It's where we process all this.
19:00This is your favorite place in the garden.
19:01That's great.
19:02Yes.
19:02So is, is, is everything here that used to be this, or this is in the process, or what
19:07are we going to do?
19:08Well, this takes more time to, for the machine to grind it wet as it is right now.
19:16But if we leave it for a couple days, the machine will follow it really, really fast.
19:20Is there some stuff we can put in the machine now just to show how it works?
19:23Yes.
19:24Yes.
19:24We can put some.
19:25We can do some.
19:26I want to show you the, my baby.
19:28Yeah.
19:30This is where everything goes in.
19:32Right in the middle, we have the, the, the hammer mills.
19:35By the end of the day, some material always stays in the machine.
19:39And, uh, and before I start up the machine, I have to go inside and clear up.
19:45So make sure the, all the hammer mills start moving.
19:49Would you be my guest in helping me in?
19:50I'd be happy to help you.
19:51Oh, yeah.
19:52Okay.
19:53Should I, should I jump in there?
19:54Just jump in.
19:55Don't be, don't, don't worry about it.
19:57Did you say don't jump in or jump in?
19:58I'm going to start this.
19:59Oh, you're going to start it?
20:00No.
20:00No?
20:01No, I'm going to have the key with me on my pocket.
20:04Okay.
20:05Okay?
20:06I'm not sure.
20:09I'm not sure.
20:09The differences between the sentences, jump in and don't jump in.
20:14Huge.
20:16Jump in.
20:17All right.
20:18Hammer mills are rotating.
20:20Hammers used for grinding.
20:22In this case, Eurasian milfoil.
20:24So, see, those are the hammer mills.
20:27I see them now.
20:28Every year, the garden generates between 1 and 2,000 cubic yards of composting material.
20:33And to get the job done, Manny built most of this machine himself, using parts from farm
20:38equipment.
20:39Now, I've seen these things on farms.
20:41They basically work, you know, with hay usually, right?
20:44Yes.
20:45This one, we've been doing a lot of improvements.
20:48Looks like it'll turn once you're fired up.
20:50You've done this before, man?
20:52You're doing pretty good.
20:53Well, I've been in holes with pitchforks and all kinds of dirt, but I don't think I've
20:59done this before, actually.
21:00So, when this thing spins, it's these that are just flipping back and forth.
21:03They're flipping, yes.
21:04Where's it going?
21:05What's below us?
21:07All that goes down to the conveyor belt.
21:10This is a discharge conveyor belt.
21:11I'm ready to press a button and watch all this thing start spinning and chirping and grinding
21:15and spitting and vomiting up the rubbish.
21:16I know you were good for something.
21:21Okay, I'll follow you out here.
21:22Let's get out of here.
21:23So, I don't think you want to stay here.
21:26No, but not when we turn it on.
21:35See the conveyor belt?
21:37It's riding at the top of some degree.
21:39So, what?
21:40You crawl up on that?
21:41Yeah, but I have to turn it off.
21:42You've got to do more than turn it off.
21:44You've got to swallow the key.
21:50So, you crawl on the, uh...
21:52You're going to crawl on the inside, okay?
21:55You're going to scrape the dirt on this side.
21:58This side is where the dirt is.
22:00You're going to scrape it and try to remove as much as you can from the conveyor, underneath
22:06the conveyor.
22:07Where'd you get the stool, by the way?
22:08That's nice.
22:09It's custom-made here.
22:12Of course.
22:12We made it here.
22:13Of course.
22:14From where I stand, the only upside to this portion of a job is if, inside this tight
22:19space, I find a secret doorway to this doomsday vault.
22:23But something tells me that's not going to happen.
22:25How you doing, Mike?
22:26Everything is very sharp in here, Manny.
22:29Yes.
22:30It's a very sharp place.
22:31It is.
22:32My custom tool now is hovering above a very specific piece of crap that Troy's shooting.
22:37And I believe you will now see me loosen the crap with the tool from Troy's angle.
22:42I think it's, I think it's a big shot and it's worth talking about and worth setting up.
22:47And here it comes right now.
22:48Ready?
22:53All right, that was that.
22:54I hope I didn't overstate it much, but I mean, a lot of things came together all at the same
22:58time.
22:59If you've just joined us, let me, let me point out from this perspective, I'm inside of
23:03a tub grinder.
23:04And if you look right above me here, those are a hundred.
23:07How many blades, Manny?
23:10168.
23:12168 very sharp blades in a hammer mill.
23:14And when this thing starts spinning, holy crap, it's like the, it's like Armageddon right
23:19down here.
23:20This is, anything that gets close to it is vaporized into crap.
23:23It is doomsday.
23:24It's doomsday at the garden.
23:26Can you imagine?
23:27It's like the cask of a monselado being walled in here with a giant mound of crap.
23:33Look at that, entombed in your own poo.
23:39Doug, you messed up my effect.
23:40I was going to wall you in, thereby creating the viewer point of view and frightening people
23:44in nearly 180 countries.
23:46So how are you doing, Mike?
23:47You didn't tell me to do this, but I'm finding other pieces of crap smashed into various other
23:52little holes.
23:53You want me to go ahead and clear those out while I'm here?
23:55That would be great.
23:56See, right there, it's like a bonus.
23:58Okay.
23:58This is what we call bonus cleaning.
24:01I don't do this for just anyone.
24:03All right, Manny, I feel as though I've gotten most of the stuff out of the, underneath of the
24:07belt.
24:08How many pounds of dirt?
24:09$140,000.
24:11Great.
24:13Don't go in there.
24:23Let's start her up.
24:25All right.
24:28Like a luxury automobile.
24:32He shouldn't be driving in the pocket, okay?
24:34No, he's very irresponsible.
24:36Okay.
24:45God, you do that all the time?
24:47He really wants the Emmy.
24:50Now we're going to see some action with this.
24:52Oh, yeah.
24:52You want to go like that?
24:54Like that?
24:55The mulch produced here is the main source of food for the plants in the garden.
25:00The results will be spread throughout the 300 acres bland.
25:06Oh, yeah.
25:07Heating the beast.
25:09The temperature in this composting heat can reach over 160 degrees.
25:13This is part of the natural process of converting the waste into usable fertilizer.
25:20That was fun.
25:21Yeah.
25:22Well, you're all right.
25:23I did it again.
25:24Great.
25:24Great job.
25:25Great job, Mike.
25:26And your baby.
25:27You know what?
25:27Do you have a name for your baby?
25:29Uh.
25:31Your BM.
25:33Your belching monster.
25:34Belching monster.
25:36Yeah.
25:36Oh.
25:37Or your baby mulcher.
25:38Baby mulcher.
25:40I like it.
25:42Either way, it's BM.
25:43I like it.
25:45Thanks a lot, Mike.
25:45I'm going to go check out the doomsday vault.
25:48That's where I'm going now.
25:49Okay.
25:50Where all the seeds are.
25:50All right.
25:51I'll tell him he said hello.
25:52Okay.
25:52Please.
25:53Thank you, Mike.
25:56The European Space Agency is developing a doomsday arc on the moon.
26:00This arc would be a database containing information on things like language,
26:05prop growing, and modern technology.
26:07Ideally, the base would allow remaining earthlings access to information,
26:10ensuring the survival of the human race.
26:20What asteroid is currently heading toward the earth,
26:22and when is it going to hit?
26:24Any info on that?
26:26Oh.
26:28It's so dewy.
26:29It's called Apophis.
26:31And it's on a collision course with earth with an impact date sometime in 2036.
26:37Well, have a good time.
26:38I won't be here.
26:44We now frolic through the prairie on our way to meet up with two botany specialists,
26:48including the illustrious Dr. Vitt.
26:51With intellect like that, I'll definitely be out of my league.
26:54So perhaps the doctors will lower their expectations just a tad.
26:58Dr. Vitt?
26:59Yes.
27:00You're Dr. Vitt?
27:01I am.
27:02May I join you in the prairie?
27:04Oh, please do.
27:05I'd hate to unnecessarily trample any native species.
27:09We like our natives, and we don't want your big feet all over them.
27:12But if I see anything non-indigenous, I'm going to jump on it with all 210 pounds.
27:16Be my guest.
27:17You can rip it out by its roots, too.
27:19Nice to meet you.
27:20Nice to meet you.
27:20Dave?
27:21Dave.
27:21Mike?
27:22Nice to meet you, Mike.
27:22Nice to meet you.
27:23What do you do here, Dave?
27:24I work with a seed bank and a seed conservation specialist.
27:29Seed conservation specialist?
27:31Yes, he's being modest, actually.
27:33He's really kind of the go-to guy because he knows all the plants in the prairie,
27:37really, almost literally, by name.
27:39What are you holding?
27:40This is a terminal GPS unit, and with it, we take both the location of the population
27:47that we're sampling from, and we also enter all of the data about this population in here.
27:52And what specifically are we looking to sample today?
27:54We're looking to sample this little teeny plant right here.
27:57This is a Iliacris, or cotton grass.
28:00I think you meant was an Iliacris.
28:02Yeah.
28:03Now, it's just shuffled off its mortal stamen.
28:08So you like the way I throw that botanical term in there?
28:10I do.
28:10That was good.
28:11Were you mildly impressed with it?
28:13A little bit.
28:15Maybe I should just retrench it a little bit and really spell it out for me.
28:18You're collecting seeds right now, specifically, and sampling them, and then we're going to
28:23take them into this doomsday vault of yours?
28:25Yeah.
28:25I wouldn't call it a doomsday vault.
28:27In fact, I really think of it as the ultimate altar of hope, in fact.
28:33Because if I really thought that we were going to be really wiped out and really, really wiped
28:38out, there wouldn't really be any purpose to having a seed vault, because then there wouldn't
28:42be any of us left to use those seeds, right?
28:45I mean...
28:46You make a good point.
28:47But if you're in my place, and you know, you had a ridiculous show on the air for years,
28:51and you look for something cool to do, and you come across something called the, what
28:54you call it, the eternal altar of hope?
28:55Yes.
28:56All right.
28:56What you do is you turn the page.
28:57Well, you see doomsday vault.
28:59You're like, okay, let's meet these people.
29:01Okay, it's a doomsday vault.
29:02Oh, my God.
29:03There we go.
29:03That's right.
29:04We'll do it.
29:05The world is falling apart.
29:06The sky is falling.
29:07Oh, my God.
29:08We've got to get these seeds.
29:09Now you're singing our song.
29:10There is no hope on dirty jobs.
29:12Only doom.
29:13Only doom.
29:15If I weren't here, you'd be in the middle of some sort of work, and what would that look
29:17like?
29:18That would look like me with my ass up in the air, down on my knees trying to get that.
29:22Where have you been all my life?
29:25A doctor, ass in the air, knees on the ground.
29:28Now we've got a promo.
29:32She really wants the job.
29:35Maybe I should realign my expectations.
29:37The good doctor had a whole different side than I expected.
29:40I'm going to put you to work now.
29:42I believe you.
29:42The first thing that we do, names are really important.
29:46Two names, from what I understand.
29:48Celiacarus.
29:49Celiacarus?
29:49Yeah.
29:50You like our high-tech equipment?
29:51You really did break the bank with this.
29:54Out of that fancy bag, I thought you'd pull something a bit more state-of-the-art.
29:57I hate.
29:58This is tragic.
29:59This is what you put a fifth of whatever in.
30:00Yeah, well.
30:02Stagger home full of regret.
30:04I never regret it after I drink a fifth.
30:07Okay, come on down.
30:08It's a bag of Celiacarus.
30:10Okay, so see those little brown dots right there?
30:13Those are the seeds.
30:14That's what we're after.
30:16And that's what goes in the vault?
30:17And that's what goes in the vault.
30:18You want to try and collect somewhere between 3,000 and 20,000.
30:21Oh, that's super scientific, yeah.
30:26Somewhere between 3,000 and 20,000?
30:28The people up there knew half of what I just said out here.
30:31I would be so fired.
30:32Well, you know, they're going to.
30:40What's that squeaking?
30:42That could be a...
30:43Is Dave kneeling on something?
30:45A deer mouse or a...
30:45I think he is kneeling on something.
30:46A metal vole?
30:47Shoot, that's pretty good to me.
30:48Yeah, it's you.
30:49You were smashing some little mouse or something.
30:51Frickin' cretin.
30:53You're squatting on a nest.
30:55You're squashing a...
30:56It's a nest.
30:58Yeah, you had your big, meaty, hairy hobbit knee
31:01on one of your little mouse nests.
31:03Oh, my God.
31:04Yeah, right there.
31:04Listen.
31:04Coming out here.
31:05Listen.
31:07Dave's knee, the ultimate invasive species.
31:10True enough.
31:11All right.
31:11Yep.
31:12We do leave quite a footprint, don't we?
31:14Yes, we sure do.
31:15And we have reached every millimeter of the earth
31:18and had an impact on every single part of it.
31:21Now, you say that as though you're not really
31:23pleased with the impact we've made,
31:25this particular species.
31:26We don't care about the plant life.
31:28I mean, we may pretend that we care,
31:30but if we really cared...
31:31Oh, I do.
31:32Yeah, I know.
31:33No, I mean, I pretend that I care.
31:35Oh, yeah.
31:38It gets exhausting.
31:39Don't you get exhausted caring?
31:41I mean, you care more...
31:42You care more for, like, than 100 people.
31:44Yeah.
31:44I mean, right?
31:45And that's got to wear you out.
31:47Um, you know, it does sometimes,
31:51except then I come out here,
31:54and I'm completely renewed.
31:57Really, honestly.
31:59I feel like we're making a, like, a margarine commercial.
32:02I know.
32:02It's really disgusting, but it's true.
32:04It's so daggone pretty.
32:05Does anyone have any margarine?
32:09Doctor, I'm relying on your Ph.D. nest
32:13to somehow elevate the tired, tired rhetoric
32:16of this program into something arable.
32:17I think I'm the wrong girl.
32:21That is the story of my life.
32:23Coming up...
32:24What is this stuff called?
32:25Inatra, evening primrose.
32:27Extracting seeds for future generations.
32:29Take that lever and very gently push it forward.
32:32It's more fun than you think.
32:34Oh, you know, like, really caressing.
32:35Yeah, these botanists are unbelievable.
32:47Can we disappear into a black hole?
32:48Yes or no?
32:50You probably could.
32:52That's your thing.
32:53Every Tuesday at 9.
32:54That's what I do.
32:54You show me a black hole, I'm going in it.
32:56You're going in there.
32:57No, the truth is, we can.
33:00Because if we expand across the Milky Way,
33:02and as I'm sure you know, we live in an expanding universe.
33:05Did you know that?
33:06Or does that also fall in the category of who gives a crap?
33:08If you say so.
33:09Whatever that paper says.
33:15Doug, what's happening to you?
33:17We've gone over this a thousand times.
33:19There's no good thing can come of that.
33:21There's no fibrinance.
33:22There's no nutritional value.
33:24You chip your yellow teeth.
33:25You don't want to eat that.
33:28It would be nice to get out of here sometime before Doomsday, for real.
33:34We're going to go back and dry out our seed in the Doomsday Lab or the Eternal Altar Perpetual Hope.
33:41Depending on your world view.
33:44After you dish.
33:45Oh, that's not what I expected.
33:50This is the official lab.
33:51This is the seed lab, yes.
33:54And that right there is the vault.
33:56That is the vault?
33:57That's the vault.
33:58That whole wall is the seed vault.
34:01Wow.
34:02We are going to go in there at some point.
34:03Oh, yeah, we are.
34:03All right.
34:04And these are seed dryers, so the next step in the process to ensure the longevity of
34:10the seeds is to dry them down under a cool environment.
34:14Once these seeds dry to a humidity of 15%, they'll be transferred to the vault, where they'll
34:20last for 200 years.
34:23We're going to put you to work cleaning one of the hardest fruits that we've had to clean.
34:27And what is this stuff called?
34:28This is inothra, evening primrose.
34:30Evening primrose.
34:31Yes, that's right.
34:33Now, do I have to do it with this weird sort of bent-over posture, or can I sit in
34:37your
34:37chartreuse chair?
34:37Oh, no, please sit.
34:38You sit in the chartreuse chair?
34:39So, with the vault mere yards to my right, it was all the crew and I could do to restrain
34:45ourselves from rushing in, shooting some footage, and racing off to enjoy a few cold ones.
34:49But, restrain ourselves we did, while meticulously extracting a couple hundred seeds from a husk
34:55of evening primrose.
34:57I've been here, what feels like, maybe 20 or 30 hours.
34:59At some point, can I go into the vault?
35:01Oh!
35:01At some point, will that happen?
35:03Oh, do you mean I have to let you?
35:05At this point, yeah.
35:06I mean, it's, we're really, we're deeply invested in this thing.
35:09I'm going to make you count them.
35:11You don't want to count seeds?
35:11Oh, I was counting them as I went.
35:13Oh, you, I was having your...
35:14488.
35:15Well, 489 counting the...
35:17Well, you're falling behind, we need 3,000.
35:21I, well, let's, okay.
35:24I, well, let's, turn it on and see there's a column of air being pushed up through here.
35:28Yes.
35:28Now take that lever and gently, very gently.
35:30Mm-hmm.
35:31Push it forward.
35:32Mm-hmm.
35:32Gently.
35:34Oh, you know, like really caress it.
35:36I mean, you know.
35:39These botanists are unbelievable.
35:41So we're basically blowing all the husks and the dust and the little seeds with no, nothing
35:46in them.
35:46Right.
35:47Out of there.
35:47Up into this holding area.
35:49Just about there.
35:50You can turn it off.
35:51Yeah.
35:51Pull that back first.
35:53Yes, and then turn that off.
35:54God.
35:55We're going to go to the, into the other room.
35:57Is this all of them?
35:59This is, this is good enough for now.
36:00Okay, so the next step is for us to actually count the seeds.
36:04Uh-huh.
36:04And this is, we've kind of stolen this from the pharmaceutical industry.
36:08It's actually a commercial pill counter.
36:10Now you put those in there.
36:14And now, see how they're going up the ramp?
36:16Look at them shake around there like this.
36:18And then they, they go past a sensor and then they get counted.
36:22And then, what is it, like a laser?
36:23Yep.
36:24That's amazing.
36:25Dave, look at these numbers.
36:26Push in tighter.
36:27I think we're going to have, I'm going to guess, 830.
36:30There you go.
36:31So about, uh, twice what you estimated.
36:34You're not very good at estimating.
36:36Mm, that's true, I'm not.
36:38Hey, I thought we'd be done today around three.
36:40Coming up, after ironing out some last minute details.
36:43Is it time to go into the doomsday vault?
36:45Yes.
36:45It's the moments we've all been waiting for.
36:47She's going to go and I'm going to follow her.
36:49We're going to move quickly.
36:49We're going to break to our right.
36:50The crew can hardly stand the tension.
36:53There you go.
36:54God, it's freezing.
36:55Freak, that's cold.
36:56We're dying.
36:57It's Armageddon.
37:06You are funny.
37:08That's nice of you to say.
37:09You make me laugh.
37:10You really do.
37:10You have watched the program then?
37:12Oh, yeah.
37:12Really?
37:13The idea of you doing things to allow this whole prairie to exist is one thing.
37:18But the thought of you sitting at home, eating popcorn, watching me, laughing at my food jokes.
37:23You are funny.
37:24Love that.
37:24And also your ads.
37:26I'm not kidding you.
37:27My ass?
37:28Sue.
37:28Your ads.
37:29My ads.
37:31Oh, no, that's nice.
37:32But if we can just get back to my ass briefly.
37:35You know, it isn't a time for you to get lucky.
37:37Let's get out of here.
37:38It is.
37:42Can we go in the doomsday vault now?
37:43No.
37:44No.
37:45Not yet.
37:46Not yet.
37:47Okay, so I have one more task for you, and then we can go in the doomsday.
37:50My final task was to pour some pre-prepared seeds into an envelope impervious to both air and water, and
37:56to seal it with a scalding hot iron.
37:59There it will remain, in the vault, for about as long as it has taken to film this episode.
38:04All right, first try.
38:06Yeah, done?
38:07Is it time to go into the doomsday vault?
38:09Yes, it is.
38:11You want to see it?
38:12We've strung you along for a long time.
38:14I know you're thinking, what did you call it again?
38:17The Eternal Altar of Perpetual Hope or something?
38:20Yeah, something like that.
38:21Okay.
38:21Yeah.
38:22Either way, we're going in.
38:23We're going to go right now.
38:25Okay.
38:25Hey, you think we should take a commercial break before we go?
38:27No, let's just go in right now.
38:28Let's just go in right now.
38:29All right, doctor.
38:32Lead me to the vault.
38:34All right.
38:36Come with us.
38:37Come to the vault.
38:39Come on.
38:40Come on.
38:41And now, the moment you and I have all been waiting for.
38:44The reclusive, secretive, overly hyped, everlasting doomsday vault.
38:50All I can say is, it had better be worth the wait.
38:53We're now in front of the door leading to the doomsday vault.
38:57Anything we should know before we go in?
38:58Yes.
38:59We should know about where you're going to put that, right?
39:01Because you don't want to be in there too long.
39:03It's cold in there.
39:04And we don't want to leave the door open for too long.
39:05How cold is it?
39:06Minus 20.
39:09Fahrenheit?
39:09Yeah.
39:10So I'm going to come in.
39:11I'm going to make a hard right.
39:11Yes, that's right.
39:12Yes.
39:12And then I'm just going to throw this and run out.
39:15No, you're going to alphabetize it.
39:16Oh, all right.
39:17And since there are, I don't know, 120 or so species of Carex.
39:23So I'm looking for Medii, so I've got to find Carex.
39:25You've got to find Carex and whatever is before M-E, and then stick it right there.
39:30Doug, will you be following?
39:31Yes.
39:31All right.
39:32Anybody else coming with?
39:33You going to come, Dave?
39:35It's like, oh, I'm so over that.
39:37All right.
39:37I mean, have we all seen this show?
39:38You realize what's going to happen.
39:39We're going to come in.
39:39There's going to be a bottleneck right here.
39:41So look, here's the plan.
39:42She's going to go, and I'm going to follow her.
39:43We're going to move quickly.
39:44We're going to break to our right.
39:46We're going to get ourselves flush against this basic filing area.
39:49Doug, I would suggest, and I believe it's not my place to direct, but if you kind of fall
39:53back in this area between F and D, Troy, if you take the position here between K and H,
39:58Dave, you'll do what you want to do.
40:00Nobody can tell you.
40:00But I would suggest maybe A, shoot in this way.
40:02When we leave, you'll go first.
40:04I'll follow you.
40:05We'll come out and lock these ****** inside.
40:07And that'll be that.
40:08Excellent.
40:08All right.
40:09Good plan.
40:09When the world ends, people will find seeds and cameramen.
40:13There you go.
40:14All right.
40:15That's cold.
40:15Yes, that's cold.
40:16All right.
40:17So C is in here somewhere.
40:19Yes.
40:20Yeah.
40:20C.
40:21Oh, my God.
40:22It's freezing.
40:23We're dying.
40:23It's Armageddon.
40:25Ugh.
40:27Carus volumptioda.
40:29Carus typhana.
40:32Carus tribulodius.
40:34Carus medii.
40:36So it's going to go between Carus medii and Carus shinorisi.
40:40What's the name you pronounce that?
40:42Shinorisi.
40:43See that?
40:44Carus shinorisia and Carus medii.
40:48I'm going to file it right here.
40:51I'm going to do it right.
40:54Right back up there.
40:55Oh, my goodness.
40:57Look, I don't think we can make it out in time.
40:59We're going to depend on one another for our bodies warm.
41:01All right.
41:02All right.
41:02I'm going to lie down.
41:03You lie.
41:04All right.
41:04Everybody out.
41:05We're freezing.
41:07Can we get out?
41:08It was a survival, Megan.
41:10Yes, we can get out.
41:11All right.
41:11You all remember the plan.
41:13I'm going to miss you all very much.
41:20Does it turn off the lights?
41:21Yes, it does.
41:28You may be wondering why I'm walking down the windswept hills of Northern California wearing
41:33a wetsuit and carrying on a whale bone.
41:35Well, mind your own business.
41:37What I need you to do is go to discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs right now and suggest
41:41my next dirty adventure.
41:43It's kind of an important part of the show because if you don't do that, then, well, we
41:45don't have a show.
41:46So if you could do that, that whole discovery.com forward slash dirty jobs thing right now and
41:51not be so daggone curious about what I'm wearing and what I'm carrying and why, that'd
41:54be super.
41:55Great.
41:55Thanks.
41:58Still watching?
41:59Not typing.
42:00It's bad.
42:07Oh.
42:09That's how behind the scenes gets in the scene.
42:11Violence.
42:12This is what's called coverage in the TV business.
42:17Troy is covering the hammer mill.
42:19Doug is covering the tub and turning.
42:23Dave is covering a wide shot of the action.
42:27And Dan is covering my meaningless commentary, which surely will never be used.
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