- 10 hours ago
First broadcast 17th July 1984.
Arthur's life is becoming miserable as he has to share his family home with an elderly dog and his incontinent father.
Leonard Rossiter - Arthur
Pat Heywood - Beatrice
David Threlfall - Robert
Lesley Manville - Vivienne
Bryan Pringle - Henry
John Grillo - The Vet
Charles Lamb - Grandad
Liz Crowther - The Doctor
Simon White - The Baby
Quest - The Dog
Arthur's life is becoming miserable as he has to share his family home with an elderly dog and his incontinent father.
Leonard Rossiter - Arthur
Pat Heywood - Beatrice
David Threlfall - Robert
Lesley Manville - Vivienne
Bryan Pringle - Henry
John Grillo - The Vet
Charles Lamb - Grandad
Liz Crowther - The Doctor
Simon White - The Baby
Quest - The Dog
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:24I haven't decided on the kitchen yet, but we thought we'd go in for the colonial.
00:00:30Hear that, Arthur, going in for the colonial.
00:00:32Do you mind?
00:00:35Do you mind what?
00:00:36Concentrate.
00:00:41What a race, what a race.
00:00:43I'm brutalized, thank you very much.
00:00:44How many times do I have to tell you a second player plays low?
00:00:47Not necessarily.
00:00:48A second player plays low.
00:00:49Get aerated.
00:00:5026, 78, so doddle.
00:00:52I'm entitled to get aerated.
00:00:55Who lost my queen, then?
00:00:57Who lost her queen, then?
00:00:58I lost her queen, her being your mother, in order to reveal Vivienne's ace.
00:01:02I didn't have the ace.
00:01:04I had it.
00:01:05I know, you bloody had it.
00:01:07Don't get so aerated.
00:01:12Spades, sir.
00:01:17Look, I never remember which are the spades.
00:01:19Spades are the ones like shovels.
00:01:21Clubs are the ones like a bunch of grapes.
00:01:22Trust I'm the grossest.
00:01:24Me's talking about finesses.
00:01:25They're talking about a bunch of grapes.
00:01:26It's pathetic.
00:01:27Oh, he takes things so serious.
00:01:29He takes things so serious.
00:01:30If a thing's worth doing.
00:01:33Right, that shelf he put up.
00:01:35Go on, go on.
00:01:36He'll humiliate me.
00:01:38He put a shelf up.
00:01:39It's nice for a man to have a hobby.
00:01:40He fell down.
00:01:41I cannot cater for inferior mortar.
00:01:45He's been saying that since 1947.
00:01:47My dad wanted to build a ship.
00:01:49That's nice.
00:01:50Mum wouldn't let him.
00:01:51Oh, typical.
00:01:52She said she'd feel silly with a ship.
00:01:56Mr. Hodges built a racehorse.
00:01:57That's right.
00:01:58Drag him into it.
00:01:59Who's Mr. Hodges, then?
00:02:00He lives at number 10.
00:02:01Built a full-scale model of a racehorse out of matchsticks.
00:02:04And him a non-smoker.
00:02:06There's nothing particularly clever about building a racehorse.
00:02:09Oh, I don't know.
00:02:09All you need is the patience, which I have got,
00:02:11and the room, which I have not.
00:02:14You don't need much room to build a shelf.
00:02:16Come on.
00:02:17Come on.
00:02:21Great many things that lights have done in this life.
00:02:23A great many.
00:02:24Don't be personal.
00:02:25Looking back, name one.
00:02:27For a start, there's my greenhouse.
00:02:29What greenhouse?
00:02:30Yeah, precisely.
00:02:32Can't build a greenhouse out of matchsticks.
00:02:33Miss George is good.
00:02:34Mr. Hodges, I might remind you,
00:02:36enjoyed 33 years of childless marriage.
00:02:39Oh, so it's my fault you never had a greenhouse?
00:02:40Mr. Hodges, I'd like to remind you all,
00:02:43served his country during the war
00:02:44as a plumber with the London County Council.
00:02:47Oh, someone had to keep our water moving.
00:02:48He could have done his bit with the rest of his feet or no feet.
00:02:53Pardon me, but he's dead,
00:02:55so we shouldn't be talking about him.
00:02:57Oh, when was this?
00:02:58Last week.
00:02:59Only been retired a year.
00:03:02No, I knew he'd deteriorated totally since his wife died.
00:03:05No one to look after him, of course.
00:03:07Tragic it was.
00:03:08Him and his dog were both found floating in the canal.
00:03:10German Shepherd, wasn't it?
00:03:12Yeah.
00:03:12Bonzo.
00:03:13Yeah, the theory being that since Mr. Rogers
00:03:14was found floating face up with his hands in his pockets,
00:03:17he must have fallen in first,
00:03:19whereupon the aforementioned Bonzo jumped in to save him
00:03:21and inadvertently drowned both of them.
00:03:24Oh, well, well, well.
00:03:26Poor old Mr. Fodges.
00:03:31What are trumps?
00:03:33Rounds like a shovel.
00:03:39Oh.
00:03:41Oh, who did that?
00:03:43Not me.
00:03:44Oh, he's not done it again, has he?
00:03:46What's he done?
00:03:48It wasn't me, I'll tell you.
00:03:50Who was it, then?
00:03:51Answer me, lad.
00:03:51Who was it?
00:03:52Oh, the dog, that's a blend of poor old dog.
00:03:55Oh, come on, Grandad.
00:03:56He hasn't got one in him.
00:03:57I heard him, I did.
00:03:58The sort of faint whistling, Sam.
00:04:00Now, you cannot pass your guilt onto a dying animal.
00:04:03Perhaps that's what it was.
00:04:04A last defiant gesture into the face of his maker.
00:04:07Dogs don't believe in God.
00:04:08It was your grandfather, and deep in his heart, he knows him.
00:04:11I think all men are the same.
00:04:12It must be the way they're made.
00:04:14Because they're closer to the animal, dear.
00:04:18Mine.
00:04:19Whose lead is it?
00:04:21Mine.
00:04:29Where'er you may go, where'er you may be, always let your wind go free.
00:04:36Yes, yes, we know all about that.
00:04:37I read that on a tombstone I did.
00:04:40Never forgotten it.
00:04:42Fellow named Amos.
00:04:44Died in agony because he contained himself.
00:04:47At least he died a gentleman.
00:04:49Like that, wouldn't you?
00:04:50He'd like to see me dead.
00:04:52Don't be so wicked, Grandad.
00:04:54That's all you're waiting for.
00:04:55Go on, go on, say it.
00:04:57Don't indulge him, Beatrice.
00:04:58Let him have his mown, poor old son.
00:05:00I know just what you're thinking.
00:05:02Why don't he contain himself and die in agony?
00:05:06That is not true, Grandad.
00:05:07Of course it isn't true.
00:05:09Can't wait for the day.
00:05:10None of you.
00:05:11I wonder what they put on the death certificate.
00:05:14Cause of death, heart failure due to a suppressed fart.
00:05:21It was in that sort of language in front of your mother and your new wife.
00:05:24Very clever, very clever indeed.
00:05:25Well, who started it?
00:05:26You've never heard me using foul language in this house.
00:05:28Who was it jumped out of his chair making insinuations all over the place?
00:05:31It was not me who insinuated.
00:05:32It was your grandfather.
00:05:34Would you kindly leave the dog out of this, I ask you?
00:05:36It could be the dog.
00:05:37They can be very human, can't they?
00:05:43Sooner or later, that dog is going to have to be put down.
00:05:46Arthur.
00:05:47Arthur.
00:05:47And I'll tell you this.
00:05:48Once that dog leaves this house, there'll be no more excuses.
00:05:51No more parts in the back.
00:05:53We shall see.
00:05:54See what?
00:05:54We shall see if certain things continue.
00:05:58And if so, we may draw certain conclusions.
00:06:00All right.
00:06:01We may see that old and dying, though that poor animal was,
00:06:04he was subjected to accusations of the vilest nature.
00:06:06And I hope his accusers will bow their heads in shame.
00:06:09I want you to go, Beatrice.
00:06:15It's not my fault I work to beg.
00:06:20Tea time, I shouldn't wonder.
00:06:22Yes, cup of tea and a nice mince pie to us all good.
00:06:26Well, is it?
00:06:27Nobody blamed you for that, Grandad.
00:06:29He blames me.
00:06:31I've never uttered a word.
00:06:32I've seen her look on your face.
00:06:34Do you think I'd like it happening?
00:06:36I haven't noticed you're making much effort to stop it.
00:06:38He can't help it.
00:06:39I know he can't help it, but you don't have to change the sheets, my son.
00:06:42The number of times his mother's changed his sheets,
00:06:45for the rest of her soul.
00:06:46The bed wetting is a part of growing up.
00:06:49Sneaking into our bed at night.
00:06:51Yes, and being told to sneak right out again.
00:06:54You've forgotten them days, haven't you, my son?
00:06:56Here we go.
00:06:57It was pooping cough, appendicitis, the lot he had.
00:07:02And what about the time you swallowed a bottle?
00:07:05I did not swallow a bottle.
00:07:07The stir-a-goody wood.
00:07:08A sliver of glass from a crook's halibut oil container.
00:07:11And who did he come to?
00:07:12Who pulled it out for him with hands of steady...
00:07:15Yes, I was grateful then.
00:07:17I am grateful now.
00:07:19I don't know the meaning of the word.
00:07:20I think I've more than repaid my debt.
00:07:23Your mother would have turned in her grave if she could hear the way you speak to me now.
00:07:27Don't worry, Gran, you're all right.
00:07:31I knew I made a mistake in coming here.
00:07:34We wanted you here with us.
00:07:38You've got 24 hours a day, that's all.
00:07:40I've been happy in one of them homes.
00:07:43Lawping and joking, playing bingo, doing a share of band.
00:07:47If that's what you want, I'll be down the well for first till Monday morning.
00:07:51That's right, bring them in, do it. Typical.
00:07:53Robert and I go private, of course.
00:07:55First thing Monday morning.
00:07:56They're own flesh of blood.
00:07:58Mind you, Gran, give him his due.
00:08:00If he had the room, he'd build you a home.
00:08:03He'd consider an extension.
00:08:05Perhaps he'd like that.
00:08:07Would you like an extension?
00:08:09Or perhaps he could build you a shelf to sit on.
00:08:12Will you stay out of this?
00:08:13Just stay out of this, all right?
00:08:15Better go and see the welfare.
00:08:16Well, it's the best thing.
00:08:19I'm nothing but trouble in this house.
00:08:22Now, let's have no more of this silly talk.
00:08:25The worst, depressing enough as it is.
00:08:27Because it's Christmas.
00:08:30Come on, who wants another mean pie?
00:08:32Here, Grandad.
00:08:40Oh, my God.
00:08:42We're coming.
00:08:45Robert, Robert, quick.
00:08:46Help me get in the laboratory.
00:08:47Robert, he's coming.
00:08:48Oh, well, it's too late.
00:08:50Oh, you sod.
00:08:52You dirty, filthy sod.
00:08:55He's not my fault.
00:08:56He's come away from me.
00:08:58Wish you were dead.
00:09:00Wish you were bloody dead.
00:09:14I thought it was a very disappointing bird.
00:09:16My nearest and dearest being, man can ask for very little more.
00:09:20You think you would have been satisfied with the actual class of mourner?
00:09:23Do you think so, Robert?
00:09:25I do.
00:09:25Limited, but select.
00:09:26You don't want too many, do you?
00:09:30Quite right, Vivienne.
00:09:31There's some very untidy people about.
00:09:34I know I shan't when you go, Robert.
00:09:36Oh, say, look here, steady on.
00:09:38Anyway, then it would have warmed the old man's heart to seeing us all there, you know,
00:09:42friends and neighbours, paying our last respects, Bea.
00:09:45All right, Grandad?
00:09:48We explained to Henry why you couldn't come.
00:09:50You quite understood what was the operation and all that.
00:09:54How long was he in this time?
00:09:56Ten days.
00:09:57I think doctors are wonderful.
00:09:59You're going to miss him, aren't you, Grandad?
00:10:02Henry's father, you're going to miss him?
00:10:04You used to take the dogs for a walk.
00:10:06You used to take the dogs for a walk, you and Henry's father, didn't you?
00:10:09Well, I say walk.
00:10:12Henry's father was in his chair.
00:10:14Quite a little gathering, wasn't it?
00:10:16All the old gentlemen and their dogs.
00:10:19Going to miss them, aren't you?
00:10:21It's quite prophetic in a way, isn't it?
00:10:23What was?
00:10:24Henry's father, yes.
00:10:25I saw him once.
00:10:26Blew in the face, he was.
00:10:28Well, hardly surprising, really.
00:10:29Trying to keep that dog under control, steer his wheelchair at the same time.
00:10:33I'll tell you this, Arthur, he said to me, I'll tell you this.
00:10:35One of these days, that animal will be the death of me.
00:10:38As it turned out, he wasn't very far wrong, was he?
00:10:40What exactly happened?
00:10:42He was found dead in his tent with the dog similarly expired in his feet.
00:10:45We thought about a camping holiday once, didn't we, Robert?
00:10:48When I say tent, that's how we refer to his iron loan.
00:10:50Henry had it installed in the spare room.
00:10:53Yeah.
00:10:54I've seen the animal got into the room, tripped over the wire and accidentally pulled out the plug,
00:10:59thereby cutting off Mr. Newbell's supply and electrocuting himself at the same time.
00:11:03Quite a shock for both of them.
00:11:04Hmm.
00:11:06Wasn't that undertaker a nice man?
00:11:08Oh, a very decent type.
00:11:10Oh, yeah, he wouldn't take a tip, you know.
00:11:11Henry had to force him.
00:11:13I cried.
00:11:14When was that, dear?
00:11:15During the service.
00:11:16She's always crying lately.
00:11:18It's my conditional.
00:11:20I think there's something very moving about a funeral.
00:11:23Yeah, a good funeral, babe.
00:11:24You, Ruth, I had a patch on what they were in my day.
00:11:28Then we did have funerals.
00:11:29You remember the Elkins funeral?
00:11:31I do, yes, I do.
00:11:32Oh, yeah, that was a funeral.
00:11:34Hello, who's that?
00:11:37They're born to it, though, aren't they, royalty?
00:11:40Born to what, dear?
00:11:41A good funeral.
00:11:42It's their natural conclusion.
00:11:47Hello, Henry.
00:11:48Oh.
00:11:57It's Henry.
00:11:58Not budding in our trust, though.
00:12:00No, no, Henry.
00:12:01We were just saying what a very nice end-off it was.
00:12:04Thank you, Bea.
00:12:05We did our best.
00:12:06I was just saying, Mr. Newbold, I cried during the service.
00:12:09Yeah, I did.
00:12:10I loved that bit when the curtains opened and the coffin slid into eternity.
00:12:15So moving, I thought.
00:12:17Whose idea was it to have him cremated?
00:12:19It was a dying wish, more or less.
00:12:21Only I thought this was a smoke or a stone.
00:12:22The council gives special dispensation when it comes to human beings.
00:12:25Yeah, they're very good like that.
00:12:28Anyway, Marge asked me to pop round and say thank you very much for your support and sympathy in the
00:12:33light of darkness.
00:12:38That's all right.
00:12:59Sorry to hear your new hip's been playing up.
00:13:02No, it's a new elbow.
00:13:03I thought he gave him a new hip.
00:13:05No, it was last time.
00:13:06Well, he's got more plastic in him than a box of Lego, haven't you, Grandad?
00:13:09Be personal, Robert.
00:13:10Take it easy.
00:13:11Let them work themselves in.
00:13:12I think he hears.
00:13:14You've got a new hearing aid, haven't you, Grandad?
00:13:16Just that he seldom responds.
00:13:18Yeah, you give up after a while, you know, Henry.
00:13:20Talking to him is like doing a jigsaw with half the bits missing.
00:13:24I know what you mean, Arthur.
00:13:26I know exactly what you mean.
00:13:28We did our best, you know.
00:13:31We ever, couldn't he ever try to do what was for the best?
00:13:33He must know that, mustn't he?
00:13:35No, no one could have done more for him than you, Henry.
00:13:37Marge has been a nervous wreck these last few months.
00:13:40A nervous wreck she was.
00:13:43If he hadn't got one, he did.
00:13:45Don't torture yourself, Henry.
00:13:46Oh, tell him not to torture himself, Arthur.
00:13:48Of course not, Henry.
00:13:49No, the thing is, we must not dwell too heavily upon the dark side.
00:13:54Now, what I suggest we do is we turn our eyes to Vivienne here.
00:13:59What do we see?
00:14:00We see a young woman with roses in her cheeks, heavy with child.
00:14:04What does that tell us?
00:14:06Well, he tells us that in the midst of death, that is life.
00:14:13That when one door closes, another door opens.
00:14:17That man is instantly replaceable.
00:14:19So I ask you to dwell upon that thought
00:14:22and raise our metaphorical glasses to Henry's father and to Vivienne.
00:14:29Cheers.
00:14:30Thank you, Arthur.
00:14:31You're a friend indeed.
00:14:36Yes, well, if you'll excuse us, I must be getting back to the factory
00:14:38and Vivienne has her antenatal.
00:14:40Oh, keep forgetting.
00:14:42It's a trouble when one keeps such a full diary.
00:14:44And I must get back to Marge.
00:14:46Well, it'd be strange how it was to yourselves after all these years, eh, Henry?
00:14:50Well, she's taking her mind off it by studying a few holiday brochures.
00:14:53I certainly do with one.
00:14:55How's the new job then, Robert?
00:14:57Oh, well, much more responsibility, of course.
00:15:00He had to sack 200 men yesterday.
00:15:02That's because he's executive.
00:15:04Yes, it's quite awe-inspiring to know that simply by raising the telephone
00:15:07one may reduce the workforce by 43%.
00:15:09It's so much nicer than having to tell them yourself.
00:15:13Bye-bye, Grandad.
00:15:17Cheerio, old chap.
00:15:19Don't forget, look after yourself.
00:15:21Yeah.
00:15:23I'll just see them to the car, Grandad.
00:15:41I shouted at him last night.
00:15:43He said some terrible things.
00:15:47We're only human.
00:15:49It's not as if we can get away.
00:15:50We can't leave him.
00:15:51Who'd look after him?
00:15:56If only he could go away somewhere.
00:15:59Only break we gets when he's in the hospital.
00:16:01Then there's the visiting.
00:16:03If he could just get away for a week somewhere.
00:16:05So welfare does, of course, provide holiday homes for such cases.
00:16:09Most of them scientifically equipped bungalows with a sea view.
00:16:12I know.
00:16:13I studied the literature when I was up at the centre.
00:16:15Did you approach the subject with him?
00:16:17Yeah, no avail.
00:16:19I mean, the waiting list would appear to be somewhat prohibitive anyway.
00:16:23Oh, we don't have his name, Mr. Dog.
00:16:29Don't you lie, you see?
00:16:30Well, there are, yes.
00:16:33Our what?
00:16:34We were just discussing how much William looks like his gang-gang.
00:16:39There's your gang-gang.
00:16:40And there's your grandfather.
00:16:42I've just been describing what a wonderfully controlled birth it was.
00:16:46No pain.
00:16:47In fact, scarcely a sensation whatsoever.
00:16:49It could almost have been somebody else.
00:16:51Oh, you were pacing all night when Robert was born, weren't you, Arthur?
00:16:55Oh, that's all changed.
00:16:57Oh, yes.
00:16:58Nowadays, it's nine to five inductions.
00:17:00Oh, that sounds nice.
00:17:01Monday to Friday, nine to five.
00:17:02And low-bank holidays, of course.
00:17:04William was scheduled to arrive at 14.25 on the Wednesday.
00:17:07Well, his first one out after the lunch break.
00:17:09Sure enough.
00:17:09Bingo.
00:17:10Oh, look, the things they do for our convenience.
00:17:13Who's a lucky little chap, then?
00:17:16Isn't he a lucky little chap, Grandad?
00:17:20Oh, look, he's smiling.
00:17:23He likes you, Grandad.
00:17:26Say something to him, Grandad.
00:17:28Hello, my son.
00:17:32Oh, no, that's not.
00:17:34Hey, Grandad.
00:17:35Oh.
00:17:37Him being decidedly of colour.
00:17:39Oh, yes, quite right, Vivienne.
00:17:42Comes, Grandad, comes.
00:17:45Now, who's Jennifer?
00:17:47Have you come to any decision about the dog yet?
00:17:49Oh, not so loud.
00:17:50Oh, she'll have to, I suppose, soon.
00:17:52Who'll keep saying that?
00:17:54They have feelings, you know.
00:17:56Oh, animals understand these things, believe me.
00:17:59I mean, take, for example, the elephant.
00:18:02I mean, when he knows his time's come,
00:18:04he crawls off in the jungle, lies down,
00:18:06sinks into peaceful oblivion.
00:18:09Why?
00:18:11In order to relieve others of his burden.
00:18:13Well, I can understand an elephant being a burden,
00:18:16but not our nigger.
00:18:17Our nigger knows, believe me.
00:18:18It's for his own good, anyway.
00:18:19Well, it can be ever so painless, you know.
00:18:22I saw a programme on the telly.
00:18:23Yes, he's old, he's ill.
00:18:24It's our duty.
00:18:28Noon, noon, noon, noon, noon, noon, bye-bye.
00:18:33Do you want the moon to play with?
00:18:39Or the stars to run away with?
00:18:46They'll come if you don't cry.
00:19:06Well, the good lady are, is she?
00:19:07No, having an early night.
00:19:09Not for her, I trust.
00:19:10Yeah, I tied up.
00:19:12There.
00:19:14Because I don't give him one.
00:19:16Straight through.
00:19:17Oh.
00:19:20They fitted him up with one of them plastic bags.
00:19:22I don't suppose he's keen.
00:19:23An hour and a half he was on that operating table.
00:19:26I never thought he'd come round.
00:19:29Terrible thing is, Henry.
00:19:31Terrible thing is.
00:19:34While he was there, they asked him to donate his body to medical science.
00:19:38Did he?
00:19:39Nah, refused.
00:19:39On the grounds that most of it wasn't his body anyway.
00:19:42Yeah, well, he's got a pointer, of course.
00:19:43When I went to collect him, just sitting on the bed, crying his eyes out.
00:19:46Oh.
00:19:47What have I come to, sort of thing.
00:19:48Pitiful to behold, it was.
00:19:50I know what you're going through, Arthur.
00:19:51I've seen it all.
00:19:52I was strong as an ox he was, you know.
00:19:54I mean, now look at him.
00:19:55He's like an oven-ready chicken.
00:19:57Yes.
00:19:58I must say, he's deteriorating fast.
00:20:00This last couple of weeks, not a word.
00:20:02Just sitting there.
00:20:04It'll be his brain.
00:20:06You know, he's not moved from that chair all day.
00:20:08Once the brain starts to go...
00:20:10You've seen it all, haven't you, Henry?
00:20:11Yes, yes, yeah.
00:20:15When I was a kid, I used to think he was immortal.
00:20:19Well, you do.
00:20:20And now, I'm sure he is.
00:20:24Of course, what finally finished, my dear old dad, was when mum went.
00:20:28Well, of course, they're all right with it together, aren't they?
00:20:30But as soon as one goes...
00:20:31Oh, that's true.
00:20:31You're cluffed, isn't it?
00:20:32As soon as your clutch goes pound to a penny, you can say goodbye to your kid.
00:20:35It was a merciful release the day dear old dad finally gave up his grip on the world.
00:20:39And even then, it wasn't so much giving up his grip as having his plug pulled out, was it?
00:20:45Anyway, you say you're off again then, Henry?
00:20:47Oh, yeah, if you'll keep your eye on the house.
00:20:49Yes, of course.
00:20:50You know, Marge and I didn't get away for ten years while dear old dad was alive.
00:20:53You've certainly made up for it since.
00:20:55You know, big grudges, surely, Arthur.
00:20:57Big grudger, Henry?
00:20:58Where is it this time, then?
00:21:00At Marbella.
00:21:01That's what you'd done, Marbella?
00:21:03Oh, it's been dorker.
00:21:04Oh, no.
00:21:04Anyway, the offer's still there.
00:21:06You know that, Arthur.
00:21:06Any time you and Bea feel like it, there's always room in the Volvo.
00:21:10Ah, well, how long do you reckon you'll be away this time?
00:21:13Oh, just till the 14th, they're built with the starting on the lounge.
00:21:16Ah, something I've always fancied, that, you know.
00:21:19L-shaped lounge.
00:21:20Yes, I must say, we've been very lucky.
00:21:26How's, uh...
00:21:27How's your nigger?
00:21:28Oh, I shall have to come to a decision very soon regarding him, poor old nigger.
00:21:32Put him down, you think?
00:21:33Best thing all round, really.
00:21:34I mean, look at him.
00:21:35Uh, have you, uh, consulted a vet?
00:21:39You keep putting these things on, don't you?
00:21:41I only say that because I know a very good chap, actually.
00:21:43He was very good with our Sammy.
00:21:45Oh, what a nice little dog he was, your Sammy, eh?
00:21:48Ah, a prince in his own way.
00:21:49Yes, yes.
00:21:50Funny him going the same day as your old dad, isn't it?
00:21:53Anyway, about this vet, uh, all I'll say, Arthur, all I'll say is he came highly recommended,
00:21:59and I do not hesitate to pass on that recommendation.
00:22:02He is, in all senses of the word, uh, a specialist.
00:22:06He was the one that took care of all my problems, Arthur.
00:22:09I'm surprised you've not mentioned him before, then.
00:22:11Well, it's a question of what he described to me as the right psychological moment,
00:22:16and I think that moment has come for you, Arthur.
00:22:19Under the circumstances, I think you'd be doing yourself more than a favour to have a little chat with him.
00:22:23I'll give him a tinkle, then.
00:22:25I'll tell you what, I've got to speak to him.
00:22:27Someone else I know with the same dilemma.
00:22:29I'll ask him to pop around.
00:22:30All right, not to say we've made it by minds, not definite.
00:22:33All I'll say, Arthur, all I'll say, we have never regretted the use of his services, not for one minute.
00:22:39Yeah, look at the time I'm supposed to be picking Marge up from a flower range.
00:22:42Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:22:43I've got a table booked at Bon Appetit.
00:22:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:45Oh, I'll tell you what, while we're away, why don't you just pop in any time you feel like it
00:22:49and, uh, use the video?
00:22:50Yeah, well, no, matter of fact, I was going to ask, Henry, there's a bit of boxing on next week.
00:22:54Plenty in the cocktail cabinet, make a night of it.
00:22:57Oh, right, right.
00:22:58Hi, Henry.
00:23:00All right.
00:23:09He really is on his last knockings, I'm afraid.
00:23:12I do understand, which is, of course, why I'm here.
00:23:15Yes, yes.
00:23:16Um, but before you have a look at him, how do you, um, what exactly is the method nowadays?
00:23:22We pride ourselves on a more personal touch, as your good neighbor no doubt explained.
00:23:26I take it he did fully explain my terms of reference.
00:23:31Oh, yes.
00:23:32Perhaps you care to be lucid, eh?
00:23:33Uh, suffice to say that all relevant background information has been carefully scrutinized, so that we may finally select a
00:23:40method which fits in with the general lifestyle and medical history of the client, while at the same time offering
00:23:44the minimum of discomfort.
00:23:46Oh, that's quiet.
00:23:48Oh, that's quiet.
00:23:51Oh, that's quiet.
00:23:54Yeah.
00:23:55Oh, that's quiet.
00:23:57Yes.
00:23:58Yes.
00:23:58Yes, indeed.
00:23:59And, uh, this is the dog.
00:24:01Ah, yes.
00:24:02Got him all ready for you.
00:24:06The only trouble he's ever really given has been with his sex dry, eh?
00:24:10Bless him.
00:24:11Eh, people were afraid to visit the house.
00:24:13He thought the tranquilizers would do the trick.
00:24:15Oh, they did in a way, didn't they?
00:24:16Well, in a manner of speaking.
00:24:18He seemed to lose interest in other animals, settled for machinery.
00:24:21We had a terrible time with next door's lawnmower.
00:24:23Oh, inseparable, eh, well?
00:24:24It was quite, it was quite touching in a way.
00:24:27In the end, there was nothing for it but to have his, um, his wats it tinkered with.
00:24:32Never forget the look on his face when we brought him home.
00:24:34Yeah.
00:24:35It was as if he knew.
00:24:36Oh, no doubt he had more than an inkling.
00:24:38Something had gone out of his life, you could tell.
00:24:41There we are, old chap.
00:24:43All done.
00:24:43Yeah, maybe.
00:24:44Eh?
00:24:45He's very good.
00:24:47Ah, chicken boy.
00:24:49Oh, no point examining him.
00:24:51He's got every complaint under the sun.
00:24:52Hmm.
00:24:54Does he ever go out of the house?
00:24:56Oh, not if he can avoid it.
00:24:57He used to take a little stroll down the road, down the park, mostly.
00:25:00He used to know all his friends.
00:25:01Yeah, quite a little club he was.
00:25:02Yeah, no, no, not anymore.
00:25:04No, I don't think any of them go now.
00:25:05Do they do?
00:25:06No.
00:25:10Well, what then is your opinion now, mister?
00:25:14He's got bad ears, bad eyes, bad teeth.
00:25:17His heart ticks over like a hedgehog's in winter, his hair is falling out and he's got hemorrhoids.
00:25:21His bladder's on the blink and his bowels are decidedly dodgy.
00:25:24He's got chronic arthritis, rampant rheumatism, and in a few weeks I doubt that he'll be able
00:25:29to put one leg in front of another.
00:25:33But you could give him an injection.
00:25:35I could give him an injection.
00:25:36I could give him an injection.
00:25:37I could give him pills, vitamins, liniments, anything you like.
00:25:39I could, in short, prolong his life and at the same time minimize his discomfort.
00:25:44Oh, yeah.
00:25:45We'd like you to be comfortable.
00:25:46What you must decide is whether it is worth it.
00:25:49Not only for him, but also for you.
00:25:52You keep putting these things off, don't you?
00:25:54Mostly for the wrong reasons.
00:25:55I suppose you see it all the time.
00:25:57It's perfectly natural, human nature being what it is.
00:26:00Irrational, emotional, sentimental, illogical.
00:26:03Yeah, granted.
00:26:04But where there's life...
00:26:05Life!
00:26:07Exactly.
00:26:08Yeah, the thing is, though, you're not saying he's suffering from anything fatal.
00:26:12No.
00:26:13What he is suffering from is old age.
00:26:15In my experience, old age is invariably fatal, one way or another.
00:26:21We just have to make up our minds, Bea.
00:26:25I don't like talking about him like this, especially with him in a shot.
00:26:29I can only advise.
00:26:30The decision must be yours.
00:26:32Your advice would be...
00:26:34To help him on his way.
00:26:36Quietly, confidentially, and without pain.
00:26:41I keep getting flashes of him in his youth.
00:26:47I've got some lovely snaps of him all over the West Country.
00:26:50Quite a rambler, was he?
00:26:52Particularly fond of North Devon.
00:26:55I have to think he's got memories.
00:26:57Let's face it, Bea. That's all he has got, isn't it?
00:27:00I do understand.
00:27:02Believe me.
00:27:04And you really think it would be for the best, then?
00:27:06All I ask you to do is to look at him.
00:27:10Think of him as he was and as he is now.
00:27:13Okay.
00:27:13All I ask you to consider is the question of dignity.
00:27:16Whether it is right.
00:27:18Whether he is all but saying,
00:27:20My life, my usefulness are at an end.
00:27:23I have lived my life.
00:27:25Now let me sleep in peace throughout eternity.
00:27:29Quite.
00:27:30I think it will all be summed up in that one word.
00:27:34Which one?
00:27:35Dignity.
00:27:36Dignity.
00:27:37Dignity.
00:27:37Which means that we must consider not only him, but also you.
00:27:41Ah.
00:27:42At a time like this, we speak of putting him out of his misery.
00:27:46Ah.
00:27:47Let us be realistic and say we would also be putting him out of your misery.
00:27:51That's true.
00:27:52Very true.
00:27:53It's a decision that only you can make.
00:27:57You are not alone with your problem.
00:27:59Ah.
00:27:59It was, after all, your good neighbor who brought us together.
00:28:03In confidence.
00:28:05I think you understand.
00:28:08In no ways I do, I do.
00:28:10And remember, the word is...
00:28:12Dignity.
00:28:13Dignity.
00:28:14You are, if I might say, extremely responsive.
00:28:19Oh, thank you.
00:28:20My card.
00:28:21Oh.
00:28:21Call me when you're ready.
00:28:22And now I must bid you goodbye.
00:28:24Would you like a cup of tea?
00:28:26Thank you, but I have several other calls to make.
00:28:28Business must be good.
00:28:29Yes, demand is definitely on the up and up.
00:28:32Most satisfied.
00:28:32Good.
00:28:33Good-bye.
00:28:39Dignity.
00:28:54If you ask me, he's given up.
00:28:56Given up?
00:28:57Of course he hasn't given up.
00:29:00Got a new pacemaker, haven't you, Grandad?
00:29:03What?
00:29:04Look at the way he's enjoying his pudding.
00:29:07Love my puddings, don't you, Grand?
00:29:09Oh.
00:29:11Don't want to be buried.
00:29:12Oh, not that again.
00:29:13I'm not going under the ground.
00:29:15I'm gonna put you somewhere.
00:29:16Where?
00:29:17I want to be cremated.
00:29:19I want to be cremated.
00:29:19What's he on about now?
00:29:20It's my right.
00:29:22I want to be cremated.
00:29:23It's cheaper.
00:29:24Yeah.
00:29:24What about Mum?
00:29:27Worms.
00:29:27Last week you gave specific instructions you wanted to lie alongside Mum.
00:29:31I don't want no worms in my box.
00:29:33I've got this thing about worms lately.
00:29:35I've not been eaten by no worms.
00:29:37Oh, I don't know why you're so morbid.
00:29:41Why are you so morbid, Grandad?
00:29:43Anyway, I expect it's up to the council.
00:29:45You can't just go where you like, you know.
00:29:46You have to allocate.
00:29:47It's my body.
00:29:49I'll put it where I like.
00:29:50Oh, stop thinking about worms.
00:29:53You've got to have a grave.
00:29:54It's keeping it in the family.
00:29:56I want my ashes sprinkled in Newport Street.
00:29:59Well, if you want to be cremated,
00:30:01if you've really set your pacemaker on being cremated,
00:30:04we'll have a little jar made.
00:30:05I've always liked Newport Street.
00:30:08I'm not having no worms eat all day.
00:30:11Don't argue with him, Beatrice.
00:30:12If he wants to be morbid, let him be morbid.
00:30:15He never likes your mother.
00:30:16Oh, he's rambling again.
00:30:18I hated her.
00:30:19That is unfair and you know it.
00:30:21They hold me back.
00:30:22Oh, now don't speak ill of the departed.
00:30:24There's a good boy.
00:30:26I wouldn't have been happy with Josie Barrett.
00:30:28Don't upset yourself.
00:30:29You'll be coming away again.
00:30:31I was a good tradesman.
00:30:34A craftsman I was.
00:30:37People used to watch me.
00:30:40Watch me hands.
00:30:42Yeah, of course they did.
00:30:44When did you empty his bag?
00:30:45He's all right, I've checked.
00:30:48Here.
00:30:49Don't want you sitting there with a bag full of nasties.
00:30:54Oh, God.
00:30:55I don't know which is worse.
00:30:56Him or the dog.
00:30:57Here.
00:30:58Have you spoken to that vet?
00:31:00No, not yet.
00:31:01Well, I think you owe it to nigger to come to a decision.
00:31:04I don't think there's anything for him but to take his advice, you know.
00:31:07Oh, you feel so responsible.
00:31:10So I suppose he is an expert.
00:31:12He's a specialist, Beatrice.
00:31:13We must trust people like that.
00:31:14That's what they're there for.
00:31:15It's all part of their training.
00:31:17After all, living in the age of the specialist.
00:31:27Oh, don't cry, Grandad.
00:31:29Tell him not to cry, Arthur.
00:31:31He'll get his wires wet.
00:31:33I wish I could die.
00:31:35What can you do?
00:31:36What can you do?
00:31:37Do try, you know, Grandad.
00:31:40Why can't I just die?
00:31:49Sorry, my husband isn't here.
00:31:52Yes.
00:31:53He's had to stay late as the Ministry aren't satisfied with their returns.
00:31:57Yes, there's been a lot of that lately ever since they was taken over.
00:32:00I would have preferred him to be present.
00:32:03He'll be back as soon as boss I know he will.
00:32:05He being the closest relative.
00:32:07You understand?
00:32:10Yes, I suppose he is in a way.
00:32:12You are quite sure that he's in full agreement?
00:32:15Oh, yes.
00:32:16He can be very specific.
00:32:19Give him a tinkle, he said.
00:32:20Tell him I thought he told him we're in full agreement.
00:32:27I shall, of course, require your husband's signature.
00:32:31Oh, yes.
00:32:32Simply for the computer.
00:32:33Oh, he's good at signing things.
00:32:36I like to get things over and done with myself.
00:32:40I think it's the television.
00:32:42He used to read avidly as a girl.
00:32:45Well, you do, don't you?
00:32:46Does the old gentleman have any particular favourite?
00:32:49Your Grandad?
00:32:50Music.
00:32:51Oh, yeah, he used to love the old grandma, Gran.
00:32:54Anything, as I say, in particular?
00:32:56Uh, he's there somewhere.
00:33:00Would you mind?
00:33:01He had a lovely voice when he was young.
00:33:04He used to sing round the piano.
00:33:06That was in the old days, of course.
00:33:08Oh, this is it.
00:33:10Here.
00:33:12This is your...
00:33:13This is your favourite, isn't it, Gran?
00:33:16Excellent.
00:33:18Nothing like a good tune, I always say.
00:33:27Will you require my attendance, or what?
00:33:29I leave that entirely to you.
00:33:33What do they usually do?
00:33:34Most people prefer to leave things to me.
00:33:40It isn't as if he knows I'm here, really, does he?
00:33:43Sadly, no.
00:33:47Wish my abby was here.
00:33:48Unfortunately, I have settled other appointments.
00:33:53Give it to it, then.
00:33:55I think so.
00:33:57Yes.
00:34:00Well, then, if you'd like to say your goodbyes.
00:34:13Goodbye, nigga.
00:34:14Yeah.
00:34:16It'll be all for the best.
00:34:19You see if I'm not right.
00:34:25Don't you want to say anything to, er...
00:34:28Oh, yeah.
00:34:30Yeah, Grandad.
00:34:32It'll be all for the best.
00:34:34You see if I'm not right.
00:34:40Never easy, I know.
00:34:42I'll be in my kitchen.
00:35:11The other 90, as I quickly dreamed.
00:35:18I dreamt that you were by my side.
00:35:26Came to the illusion when I awoke, dear.
00:35:33You were gone.
00:35:36You were gone.
00:35:36And there...
00:35:38I cried.
00:35:41For my sunshine.
00:35:44My only sunshine.
00:35:48You made me happy.
00:35:51With my heart rain.
00:35:55Ah.
00:35:55There you are, Mr. Spino.
00:35:57Oh.
00:35:57Oh.
00:35:58All done.
00:35:59Yes, yes.
00:36:00Nothing more to worry about.
00:36:02If you'd just sign these forms.
00:36:04Oh, yes.
00:36:06Don't they find sunshine away.
00:36:10You told me once, dear.
00:36:14There'd be no other.
00:36:17And no one else could come between.
00:36:33Jolly good.
00:36:37I'm sorry I couldn't be here.
00:36:39Oh, that's all right.
00:36:40Best thing in my opinion.
00:36:42I'd probably have it written in next year or so.
00:36:47About half a minute, I should think.
00:36:53Oh, yes.
00:36:54In case you're wondering,
00:36:55there won't be any question of a post-mortem.
00:37:14And none, no?
00:37:17No.
00:37:23Yes.
00:37:23There'll be a grandOME of ye.
00:37:24Yeah.
00:37:35Where nobody feels like a post-mortem'
00:37:37That sun is not too much for us,
00:37:37But I'll be too much more to them."
00:37:41So we'd actually smoke us and we're like grateful so that I've done that night.
00:38:02right this and his medical card you take to the registrar all right thanks so much doctor have
00:38:08you been on to the undertaker i was just about to consult the yellow pages use these people tell
00:38:13him i sent you and don't forget if he's been cremated you'll need another signature i told
00:38:17you arthur i told you they double checked i think doctors are wonderful i was wondering if while
00:38:26you're here you'd consider taking a quick look at my hubby oh dear what's wrong with him i suspect
00:38:30it's vaguely mental on account of you know what oh yes of course he's even gone so far as demanding
00:38:36disease vicar i'll have a word with him thanks ever so much doctor now then what seems to be the
00:38:42problem people do die you know be a big boy face afterwards yes i'm trying to but i've got this
00:38:49terrible problem tell me about it i don't know where to start i expect you feel depressed yes
00:38:55i'll give you some tranquilizers but three of these four times a day he gets really bad two of the
00:39:02little white one six of the black and if you feel like it you can bung in a couple of
00:39:06the blue oh yes
00:39:08and then have a go please will you just a few samples they want me to try out have a
00:39:13go tell me what
00:39:14you're doing so much no it's not me i'm concerned about it's my father bring him in make an appointment
00:39:20at the surgery he's dead oh if we'll keep saying that thing is you see i've got this terrible suspicion
00:39:27he was put down put down where uh terminated by a specialist are you saying you went private
00:39:34i really should have been informed you know oh no no he came through my friend henry all i did
00:39:38was
00:39:38sign a form you see i thought he came to do nigger nigger being the lodger nigger being the dog
00:39:44and and and due to a misunderstanding of tragic proportions i think he did my father at the same time
00:39:50did he will keep saying doctors do kill people don't they oh it is mine doctor he's elucid aging
00:39:57again we're all entitled to our mistakes surely oh no i mean deliberately and it's part of the
00:40:02treatment when they're when they're old or real or such like you really shouldn't believe everything
00:40:06you read in the papers you know only it's one to control over they go on about it these people
00:40:12but
00:40:12tell me this who's going to put the needle in who's going to administer the drug telling us to
00:40:18double the dose that should keep him quiet over and out let's face it there's all the difference
00:40:22in the world between stepping up a dose of morphia to give your patient a good night's sleep and not
00:40:27worrying too much about whether or not he wakes up in the morning and giving him a dose that'll
00:40:31finish him off within an hour you're like a good night's sleep don't we doctor good night's sleep
00:40:36when did i ask you to get a good night's sleep doctors are all for keeping you going cutting people's
00:40:40hearts out giving them to the needy miracles like that medical advancement has made it possible
00:40:45to keep a dying person alive almost indefinitely yes but the point of that much old age is no
00:40:51longer a natural condition it is a medical condition and as such it has to be treated
00:40:56you really should phone the undertaker they can treat anything now after you know they can
00:41:01i think you're wonderful have you any idea of the dilemma give him a new heart and his liver goes
00:41:09on
00:41:09the blink so then we give him a new liver and his bladder goes bust give your father a new
00:41:13heart and
00:41:14he could be wetting the bed for another 10 years but he's dead nh1 to control and proceeding to
00:41:20next appointment eta 2345 overnight they're engaged all the time they must be ever so busy
00:41:26yes it has been very busy these past few weeks i must say how are you mrs um bearing up
00:41:33mercy thank
00:41:33you doctor what was it last time up my legs i'll make an appointment for you at the hospital i
00:41:38must admit
00:41:38they've been very little trouble alone well that's how these things start you know sheer indifference
00:41:42come and see me next week and i'll arrange to give you some tests there's nothing wrong with me
00:41:46oh but we don't know that do we you do accept you could be doing it then do you who
00:41:50the specialist
00:41:51i really cannot comment on the behavior of another medical practitioner we do have a code
00:41:56you know however if you do find out he's done it again do let me know
00:42:00well that goes around the doctors are killing her patients have been scoundred don't you thank you ever
00:42:05so much doctor good night good night
00:42:11oh isn't she lovely so natural
00:42:17now i know this is a very sad occasion arthur but i do wish you'd do something to liven yourself
00:42:22up
00:42:25your father wouldn't like to see you behaving like this you know he wouldn't he used to like a good
00:42:30laugh until nature took advantage of his body when your mother died he was the life and soul
00:42:38it was him if you remember who was all for an ease-up bee what have we done
00:43:06oh sorry to hear the news mom she's sad isn't her yes i was hoping you were henry
00:43:13no i've got to talk to him you see marge keeps telling you he's not back yet
00:43:18yeah we would have come early but we've been out anywhere nice come this christmas dinner dance
00:43:23went out to the holiday inn for a nightcap on top of that i couldn't read the au pair's writing
00:43:32oh
00:43:35oh he looks very peaceful anyway doesn't he i'm quite suddenly did it
00:43:40one minute he was just sitting there next minute he was just sitting there it was that specialist
00:43:44we will keep saying that what specialist he means the vet ever so understanding he was
00:43:50oh he had the dog down yes your father finally thought it was for the best poor old nixon i
00:43:56cried
00:43:56for days over our rabbit i killed him all we did was to assist nature he's taught himself something
00:44:03terrible well try not to upset yourself granddad i think it's something to do with them both going
00:44:08at the same time granddad and nicker perhaps they did it in sympathy same thing happened to henry's
00:44:12father of course he was quite stoic i seem to remember oh no dear pneumonia have a word with
00:44:18him robert while i go and phone the undertaker i've been trying for ages uh not too long if you
00:44:22don't
00:44:22mind robert i'm exhausted well now dad uh something on your mind yes yeah i must talk to you robert
00:44:29i keep trying to tell your mother you see but she i think i've done something terrible
00:44:33i'm sure he's not as bad as all that i've got a feeling it's worse it's no doubt your prime
00:44:37concern
00:44:37is the recent demise of your father yes and you no doubt feel that something more could have been
00:44:42done for him no no it's not that well what it's difficult to explain this robert precisely my
00:44:49point i mean family discussions are all very well but not in the home we're all too involved emotionally
00:44:56you need someone that's qualified there's always someone qualified to lend an ear well i've got through
00:45:01at last but i can't understand a word he's saying yes sir i'll have a word with him
00:45:09i expect you'll miss him who oh oh grandad oh yes yes he was a nice old man really for
00:45:16all his funny
00:45:17ways well not so much funny as disgusting like a baby he was towards the end both ends i seem
00:45:25to
00:45:25remember there would appear to be something of a problem what's happened they can't take him do you
00:45:31mean they can't take him full up tell them who you are and make it quite clear that unless they
00:45:37accept our order we shall in future take our business elsewhere i know how these things are
00:45:41done thank you vivienne he said i can do what i like it's the same everywhere must be someone who
00:45:46can
00:45:46take him what seems to have happened is that due to an unprecedented demand the grave diggers and
00:45:50crematorium attendants have downed tools and are demanding a 46 percent pay rise plus new
00:45:54productivity agreement unprecedented demand apparently there is now an intensive pile
00:46:00up in mortaries and chapels of rest throughout the home counties i mean they're embalming as many as
00:46:04they can but due to the intense demand they've run out of fluid which is why they cannot take any
00:46:08more
00:46:08orders can you imagine this sort of thing happening in japan what are we gonna do with him now you
00:46:13know
00:46:13while i drive a dachshund we must remain calm and work out an alternative strategy first things first
00:46:20he'll have to be moved quite right robert we can't have him sitting in here with us can we arthur
00:46:25we might have visitors i think we ought to send for the police oh we can manage ourselves they've got
00:46:30enough to do i want him exhumed examined yes right well we'll talk about that later right
00:46:40oh where are we going to put him well in his own room would be the most natural don't you
00:46:44think
00:46:46yes come on dad come on
00:46:52i don't like this you know you don't think i do do you wrong i know this if you wait
00:46:57for henry
00:46:57henry isn't i know he isn't try and keep him off the wallpaper one pound 65 a roll plus v18
00:47:06this isn't very nice you know it's terrible i've got to be up at seven
00:47:12who's that
00:47:16henry thank goodness you're here
00:47:19marge told me the sad news he's been trying to get in touch with you all night i want to
00:47:25come
00:47:25earlier of course but i was at uh at a meeting we've just been to a dinner dance oh a
00:47:29place of
00:47:29dance sacapulco we have some lovely functions at robert's firm top table next year the place to
00:47:34avoid is edinburgh here robert look who's here oh yes heard about this strike i have and it's very
00:47:41unfortunate more than unfortunate as far as we're concerned
00:47:46are you saying the deceased is still in residence precisely but they should have moved him
00:47:50think the governor would have sent in the troops or something surely there's some emergency measures
00:47:54in force there are yes they've coined their alternative sightings he said yes for example
00:47:58there's the cold storage room of that uh wholesale meat factory just off the great west road i know
00:48:03that henry but they can only take so many and there's already been complaints about possible loss
00:48:07of trade if only these trade union people knew what they were doing to this country where's arthur
00:48:11no i left him with the granddad what's he doing as far as i could make out apologizing what for
00:48:17his mind henry it's even been going on about calling the police um do you mind if i use your
00:48:23phone i might just be able to pull a few strings oh sure
00:48:41hey hey why have you been avoiding me what are you arthur i've been trying to get out of you
00:48:44all
00:48:44that i've been at a meeting what to three o'clock in the morning we have a very extensive agenda
00:48:48look
00:48:49look you're the only one who knows i've got to talk to you look look it's wrong i didn't mean
00:48:55it
00:48:56and it wasn't me it was you you sent that specialist around me now look arthur what you're
00:49:00going through is an understandable reaction i've suffered the same way myself we all go through it
00:49:05during the initial period of regulation morning oh how many are there all i know is we are forming
00:49:11part of what is known as an upward trend now you'll get used to it particularly once the benefits become
00:49:16that much more apparent for example why don't you take b on a nice holiday for two pop round one
00:49:21evening study the brochures but how this is hardly a time and place time and place that we've just
00:49:26poisoned him uh if i might have your attention for a moment what's that robert
00:49:35i think i might have come up with the answer if you're amenable that is henry amenable in what
00:49:40direction be well this strike could drag on for days when don't they therefore we must make
00:49:45alternative arrangements well you can't stay upstairs can he hygiene does enter into these things as i
00:49:51understand it henry you have recently taken delivery of a new deep freeze yes that's quite correct
00:49:55oh well now well you did say we could avail ourselves of it henry any time we like you said
00:50:02what i had
00:50:02in mind be was the odd lamp shop we would have suggested ours of course but there is the question
00:50:06of the traveling just just just just a minute you suggesting putting my father with a load of
00:50:11pizzas and pineapple juice only temporarily arthur carrot juice actually marge as you very well know
00:50:16he's very health conscious she's got a diploma oh we agreed then what about me i'm trying to do my
00:50:22best frankly dad this should be your problem not mine but seen as you seem incapable we cannot leave
00:50:29him where he is can we you're quite right robert leave it to me you're very kind henry the thing
00:50:34being of course i can't very well just carry him down the road it's an improving area and it might
00:50:39offend the neighbors robert's already thought about that haven't you robert that's because he's
00:50:42executive but we'll use the wheelchair yeah the one you gave us anyone see anymore that's
00:50:47i think he's taking a little stroll what a four o'clock in the morning with a sheet over his
00:50:50head
00:50:51he has got a point of course i'm not having it well what did you suggest well take the sheet
00:50:57off put
00:50:57his cap on
00:51:03and i've got my action board before this one i don't want to be late particularly as i've recently
00:51:13voted joint chairperson want to be nice and fresh then is it a chest freezer henry or an upright a
00:51:20good point vivienne a chest freezer actually thirty four nine cubic feet with a capacity of 280 pounds
00:51:26robert and i prefer the immediate access of an upright my father did you display the accordion
00:51:31there is of course the question of the temperature section i shall have to consult the brochure how
00:51:36to get the best out of your freezer yeah we don't want him spoiled could be where's where's his cap
00:51:44down by the horse down by his walking frame on the uh question of temperature setting henry i was
00:51:50quite recently reading a book on cannibalism in the south seas and apparently the nearest equivalent
00:51:55of human flesh is pork setting number five how much obliged i'll tell marge i'll keep you informed
00:52:00arthur don't worry i'm coming with it no needy old man i can manage don't you think you better put
00:52:05his
00:52:06coat on it he's a bit nippy details man details tell us the kind of you henry i shan't forget
00:52:12this you
00:52:12know maybe sure i won't
00:52:17do hope he's going to be all right in there you do worry about these things you know frankly it
00:52:23shouldn't be our problem we've got enough to worry about what with next door neighbors bonfire and the
00:52:28jacuzzi playing up first thing tomorrow morning you must get onto the cemetery's parks and amenities
00:52:33department at the town hall it is first thing tomorrow morning any problems tell them you will be
00:52:39demanding a pro-rata rebate on the rates what's on my mind robert is well you know what these trade
00:52:43unions are like well suppose some of the others come out in sympathy i was thinking in particular
00:52:49of the electricians she does of course have a very good point a power cut now could be highly
00:52:55detrimental i am quite sure that knowing marge she has an insurance which covers both equipment and
00:53:10contents all done then dad her margins and henry suggested they ought to discuss the matter in
00:53:17camera yes well i really don't think there's any more we can do now yes well um if it's all
00:53:24right
00:53:24with you dad oh i admit he was getting me down i admit having evil thoughts about it but i
00:53:29would
00:53:29never have put him in a home i wouldn't i wouldn't dad whatever i would never have done that now
00:53:34i would
00:53:34ever put him in a freezer there you are you see yes he has taken it very badly hasn't it
00:53:40he's much worse
00:53:40than when his mother went technically of course he's an orphan wait a minute wait a minute he left a
00:53:46card
00:53:46who a specialist is it not him again what specialist who needs the vet what is that card
00:53:52he's buying the telephone what are you gonna do phone him get him around here it's four o'clock in
00:53:57the morning 24 hour service i'm gonna put the kettle on uh not for us thanks uh yes a cup
00:54:04of tea
00:54:04will be most welcome welcome yes
00:54:06i hope you'll realize robert this situation could present us with something of a problem
00:54:17not at all vivienne our role in this untidy affair is no more and no less than that of
00:54:22an advisory back what if something should happen to him who your father you can't deny he's behaving in
00:54:28a most peculiar manner what if his mind is going your mother is constantly trying to imply he might
00:54:34have to be taken away now then what becomes of her vis-a-vis our responsibility i'd pop in and
00:54:40see
00:54:41her then again what if she should take it upon herself to die before he does he's got years because
00:54:45i'm telling you now robert there is no question of him moving in with us especially not with the
00:54:50baby and another one too as soon as the italian tiles are down in the breakfast room he won't move
00:54:55him with us we'd have him looked after it's what we pay for i'm thinking of you robert you are
00:55:02at a
00:55:02watershed career-wise status-wise life-wise things are very much on the up and up your shoulders are
00:55:10broad but there are things you should not should not be asked to carry
00:55:17what do you suggest i'll do pander to him play up to his little peccadillos
00:55:25what you're saying is ease his mind and i might prevent it from snapping precisely my
00:55:33best oh there you are granddad did you manage to speak no no it was a recorded message so i've
00:55:39asked him to come around as soon as he can jolly good well let's get back to this yes i
00:55:44could have
00:55:44stopped it only i was late home from the office and your mother thought it was the dog i see
00:55:49she had
00:55:49a bit of money been all right and what was home sharp of a monday yes let's talk about the
00:55:53dog yes
00:55:54that's how it started you see i mean he was on his last knock-ins you could see that for
00:55:58yourself
00:56:00henry recommended the specialist we had a chat and he came around to do our nigger
00:56:04well he did your grandfather at the same time these accidents do happen in the home i mean the
00:56:10ministry have published a very interesting no no it wasn't an accident no he did it for henry as well
00:56:15that's why i got such a hard recommendation and not only henry apparently he's going around doing it
00:56:20everywhere doing what terminations apparently it's up to his eyes when you say he's going around doing
00:56:30it everywhere i've been putting two and two together you see it's not just my father and henry's father
00:56:34there's others there's mr hodges mr walker who's mr walker used to be on milkman but he didn't have a
00:56:40dog
00:56:41no i had a budger ago oh yes joey we're both found dead in mr walker's invalid carriage carbon
00:56:48monoxide poisoning due to a faulty exhaust they said i thought badges could smell guys
00:56:53normally yes but on this occasion it had a nasty cold which is why mr walker was taking it to
00:56:57see
00:56:58the vet you see now do you understand why do you think they're all out on strike he's created an
00:57:03epidemic you wouldn't by any chance have any proof of his visit yes i signed a form in triplicate oh
00:57:11you'll have a copy then oh he took all three of them with him did you actually read this well
00:57:16not
00:57:16unless there's many ways where you don't do you so that what we might have here is a simple case
00:57:20of misunderstanding but he's dead robert do you know that i believe that could be the entire nub
00:57:25of this problem what you see we are living in a world where things are no longer black and white
00:57:32they aren't where my sister lives but it's wrong before we say what is right and what is wrong
00:57:37we must fully examine the circumstances yes yes suppose for example there was some kind of agreement
00:57:43between granddad and the specialist what do you mean an agreement did granddad at any time express
00:57:48any desire to depart this earthly existence yes he did he said oh i wish i was dead
00:57:57why can't i die yes the sense of uselessness of non-productivity the clerical staffs and
00:58:04managerial association is very aware of this i can assure you and so as i now realize was granddad
00:58:09might it not therefore be that he expressed a positive request to end his suffering suffering
00:58:14that involved not only himself but the entire family might it not be therefore that he was in
00:58:20fact laying down his life so that others might benefit might it not be that he was in fact
00:58:28doing a captain oats oh thanks very much you've really put my mind at rest ah right he's here at
00:58:36last i don't know what you said to him robert but he certainly looks a lot brighter i think we
00:58:41brought
00:58:41him a certain amount of consolation don't you we certainly did our best robert no it's henry
00:58:55there's been a hitch what you mean is marge objected no no no she quite understood then what's
00:59:02he doing back here well the thing is she's expecting a large consignment to meet to be
00:59:06precise half a cow and a couple of sheep well i wish you'd said henry exactly my words be i
00:59:10wish you
00:59:10said i said but the thing is due to the cold storage crisis brought on by this unfortunate strike
00:59:15they're selling off cheap so much stepped in quick with a barclay car yeah well she always
00:59:19did have an eye for a barking true very true remember that bedspread she brought back from
00:59:22alicante uh algeria what about him now be reasonable arthur i want him out of the way as much as
00:59:29you do
00:59:29but with the best will in the world there simply wasn't the room and even if we have been able
00:59:34to
00:59:34squeeze them all in i mean he could be with us for some time and we cannot maintain responsibility
00:59:39for his safekeeping ad infinitum i mean what if there should be a mix-up in the labeling we
00:59:44had a terrible time last year with the soft fruits all the effort we put into this and
00:59:48back to square one what are we going to do well you can't come back in there i'm not carting
00:59:53him
00:59:53up them stairs again in my opinion he shouldn't be in the house at all respect the dead yes but
00:59:57those of us who are left to interact to some sort of consideration surely might i make a suggestion
01:00:01you do henry well as you say it's a chilly night morning therefore the simplest thing to do will be
01:00:07put him outside in the garden what good old dear henry he loved the garden i'm sorry i'm not
01:00:14having him out there no no temporarily arthur i'm not suggesting he becomes a feature
01:00:20all right go on don't do what you like go on do exactly what you want with him go on
01:00:24i don't care
01:00:25that's not my father anyway that's just a tired old shelly walked around again go on do what you want
01:00:31them do exactly what it just just keep them in one piece that's all well give henry a hand will
01:00:43you
01:00:43roberts me clearly your father is totally disinterested in the proceedings we shall see
01:00:48we shall see so much for a little pep talk if i was you dad i'd pull my socks up
01:00:53otherwise
01:00:55oh otherwise i might be forced to take certain steps which we might all of us come to regret steps
01:01:01what steps oh it never rains but what it calls it's a matter of speaking what's happened now it's
01:01:05snowing i haven't brought him back no he's quite comfortable we left him under the lean-to
01:01:10it could get damp i knew that's him in the old carpet we were throwing out oh that's all right
01:01:17i really don't think there's any more we can do now bobert yes yes oh yes look at the time
01:01:24better be off well i must get back don't hesitate to ask if you want any more assistance arthur
01:01:29he'll be back to his old self in a couple of days just what i said
01:01:36what did you mean keeping him in one piece yes what did you mean i'm gonna confront that
01:01:42specialist with him that's what i mean what keeps going on about that specialist you recommended
01:01:46what about him what you know what about him we thought you were him when you came back just now
01:01:51arthur gave him a tinkle yes and he's coming around here you've done that terrible to me you
01:01:57should have left it to me it was confidential ask him robert come on yes don't mind me please
01:02:02carry on straight answer to a straight question henry if you please is there any validity in my
01:02:07father's accusation that his father was uh to use his expression terminated by this specialist who
01:02:14was sent round here via a recommendation by your good self and that furthermore the aforementioned
01:02:19specialist is going around doing it everywhere they have to try these things don't they they have
01:02:24to see how it works out what are you talking about who are they i've explained he's retained let's get
01:02:30this quite clear are you saying he's official unofficially yes that's what i mean arthur it's early
01:02:36days carry on like this and you could upset everybody early days for what uh the scheme
01:02:41beatrice now do you believe me you should never have got them involved arthur how many times have i said
01:02:46it
01:02:46i must say henry this has come as quite a shock now how do you think i feel that'll be
01:02:50him right
01:02:50that's it right beatrice answer the door what are you going to do it's my father
01:02:56i hate to say this but this causes a great deal of embarrassment of people who are in no position
01:03:01to take it lightly unless we're very careful we could be in serious trouble all of us
01:03:09who are you i am a relative but a relative of the deceased what are they doing here we were
01:03:16just
01:03:16on our way one moment if you please well he told them he did what he's gone but it can't
01:03:22be
01:03:22it hurts go and have another look you're not your eyes are like you might have missed them
01:03:26no i'm gonna lean to you in that old carpet there is no carpet oh dear i've just remembered what
01:03:31it's thursday what about thursday it's been day the day the bin men come oh my god oh dear they
01:03:39must
01:03:39have been a god oh dear oh dear they've taken my father i'm gonna bring the depot explain what's
01:03:44happened and ask them to keep an eye out for him here comes up the lorry just tell them you
01:03:47want him back
01:03:48yes and i can keep the carpet oh what's the number one for after entering quarry i'll leave it for
01:03:54half an hour if i were you arthur they'll be having their breakfast wait wait wait wait a minute
01:04:02wait a minute you you put him out there deliberately didn't you you did to destroy the evidence might i
01:04:07respectfully point out that none of this has anything to do with me my responsibilities are
01:04:11clearly defined disposal of the remains is entirely your affair you killed him you signed the forms
01:04:16i don't what did you or did you not thus signify your approval yeah what no i was acting at
01:04:22your
01:04:22request the responsibility is yours i don't want the responsibility precisely do you mind sitting down
01:04:26i don't want to sit down please sit down i was troubled at his official making it bad for all
01:04:31of
01:04:31us i'll make him a cup of tea thank you now then you surely can't believe that i would assist
01:04:36your
01:04:36father simply because you requested it i didn't request let's not go into all that again please
01:04:41answer my question i don't know they wouldn't do a thing like this take them full it's all part of
01:04:46the scheme arthur terminating people selective culling
01:04:54you can't expect to take it in all at one go of course you can't it takes time i mean
01:04:59i know it
01:05:00took marge at least the week to get used to the idea and i myself felt very dodgy for the
01:05:04first few
01:05:05days or so but i can honestly say looking back it changed my life it changed his as well you
01:05:10don't
01:05:10think i was the first to you hey he didn't tell you i was the first did he did you
01:05:14i i don't remember
01:05:16well i must say that would be very unfair if you had arthur who else then well they uh they
01:05:21make a
01:05:21selection mr hodges mr not just them there's some persons of very high standing involved yes they
01:05:28don't choose anyone you know there's a very nice class of person involved i don't care what class of
01:05:33person involved he is going around terminating them and why is this necessary we live in the age
01:05:39of the welfare state do you remember the promise that was made total care from the cradle to the
01:05:44grave total care but the welfare system is slowly grinding to a halt and why because people unfit to
01:05:50look after themselves are surviving in increasing numbers the advancement of medical science has assured us
01:05:55of one thing the survival of the unfittest in a world of acute shortages housing food your materials
01:06:01work and so we are faced with the ever-growing problem of pollution human pollution people we
01:06:06must think beyond people we must think of society as a whole and so as i say selective culling i
01:06:14take
01:06:14it at the moment it's purely an introductory offer just to see how things go to get people used to
01:06:18the
01:06:18idea as indeed we did with birth control now you've got clinics and abortion oh that was you was he
01:06:24abortion the termination of life at its beginning is now totally accepted and now you're concentrating on the
01:06:29other end precisely excuse me yes i want to ask him something yes how many sugars do you take two
01:06:36please i remember reading this article in the guardian about mercy killings euthanasia robert getting
01:06:42the subject air so people get used to the idea people will stand for it stand for anything if it's
01:06:49put properly look at the common market think of this a controlled birth rate and selective culling
01:06:55inspire a fit and healthy society under the age of uh the details will of course be worked out later
01:07:01you know you see arthur you could thus spend your time and funds accordingly for the money the state
01:07:07will save money reallocated for the benefit of the fit the productive only suggest is an alternative of
01:07:12course perhaps we could look after people a bit better i'm sure they've thought about that already we
01:07:18are human you know nature has a balance you see sadly that balance has been disturbed don't go on
01:07:24about these things please don't these people are experts the thing being it is only an idea i mean
01:07:29if it doesn't work out or if people don't like it then something else a good war or a plague
01:07:33or
01:07:34something there always have been ways you see only we keep stopping death isn't exactly new is it
01:07:38not in my family people have been dying for years which reminds me i must go i have a full
01:07:44day ahead
01:07:49all this is of course entirely confidential of course they've always been very careful mention
01:07:54something and they all want one look at our jacuzzi arthur yeah i thought that was the cleansing
01:07:59department yeah the thing is they didn't mention grandad do you mean they didn't mention it he was
01:08:08out the carpet well apparently they put it in the incinerator and it blew up oh my god my father
01:08:16was in that carpet well he was so annoyed this man i didn't like to mention it how could it
01:08:21blow up if
01:08:21i might suggest uh did he ask to be cremated i don't know refuse dumpy didn't the addendum to forms
01:08:26b
01:08:27of the cremations acts 1902 and 1952 reads as follows a has the deceased been fitted with a cardiac
01:08:33pacemaker or radioactive implant yes or no yes b if the answer to a is in the affirmative has this
01:08:40been removed yes or no no but it was all the reason that is printed in red and marked important
01:08:47is that
01:08:47remains containing such a pacemaker or radioactive implant are liable to explode under intense heat
01:08:52that is during cremation causing shock to the attendance and distress to the next of kin
01:08:57you really should have said something i didn't know they're gonna cut him off did i about this
01:09:02other business you will remember what i said absolutely the department would of course scotch
01:09:06any premature rumors that might damage the cause and after all is said and done where's the proof
01:09:12anyway yes well i think we must say right now wait a minute wait a minute it was a conspiracy
01:09:18you did it
01:09:19because of that strike those weren't our real bin men nonsense total care the last responsibility
01:09:26absolved think about it if i may suggest that don't cause any more trouble these people are experts
01:09:33they know what's best for all of us they need to keep charts and everything you know statistics
01:09:37it's a service a social service and we are the trailblazers it's progress granddad progress
01:09:46it makes sense you know it does but it's us it's not us we won't be a burden we're not
01:09:52the
01:09:52time anyway it's not now is it it's tomorrow
01:10:07now arthur there is one consolation
01:10:13oh
01:10:17that incinerator's in newport street now granddad always said he wanted his ashes sprinkled in newport
01:10:23street
01:10:26it's nice to think the old gentleman had his ultimate desire
01:10:55it's a special he is
01:11:02so
01:11:03it's a good
01:11:05it's a good
01:11:06it's a good
01:11:07it's a good
01:11:07it's a good
01:11:09it's a good
01:11:10Oh, my God.
01:11:40Oh, my God.
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