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#knightmare
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00:04To be continued...
00:35Welcome, Watchers of Illusion.
00:38Phase with me once more, for this is the time of adventures.
00:42If you dare the deadliest dungeon of them all, then I, Treyguard, issue the challenge.
00:48Even now, a quest is in progress, so here's a progress report.
00:54From Sunderland and Tyne and Weir, there came four lads who knew no fear.
01:00But in a clue room, Olgoth fooled them, and then an old crone tried to lure them, until confused.
01:07But still in rhyme, they got exploded by a mine.
01:16So now we follow Claire and friends, as into danger they descend.
01:21Past monsters more, and pit revealed, they hunt the illusory magic shield.
01:28So go.
01:29Yes, it is solid.
01:31Do you want me to go?
01:32Oh, come, Claire.
01:33I need company.
01:35No, Claire, do a side step.
01:37Two side steps to your right.
01:39Oh, such a slow, Claire.
01:41Now go forward, go on, go forward.
01:43Oh, what are you offering me?
01:45Keep going.
01:46Give her the pearl.
01:47What are you offering?
01:48Oh!
01:49A trinket...
01:50Claire, turn to your right.
01:51A little trinket.
01:53Ah, ah, ah.
01:54For this little trinket, I will reward you with a little spell.
02:00And since you are intelligent enough to have come this little far into the dungeon,
02:06you should know what that means.
02:09That's all.
02:10Claire, I'm bored with you.
02:12Off you go through the serpent's mouth before I take the ground from under your feet.
02:18Claire, walk forward.
02:20Go on.
02:22Where am I?
02:24You're in a cave with a path, and there's something...
02:26Warning team, a life force energy red.
02:29Make haste, but look out for food.
02:32And there's food.
02:33I think it's food.
02:34Bread.
02:34Claire, Claire, walk slowly in front of you.
02:38Slowly.
02:40I can see it.
02:41Right.
02:41Stop.
02:42Bend down and pick it up.
02:43You put it in your bag.
02:44Just walk on.
02:45Keep on walking.
02:47Keep on walking, but slowly.
02:49Slowly.
02:49Go on.
02:52Where am I?
02:53You're in a cave with a door leading out and a big monster with horns.
02:58Hey, you.
03:00Yes, you.
03:01Stay still.
03:03Use a goat, Angel.
03:06Use a hairy little goat.
03:10I think you can cook if you don't want.
03:14I'm hungry and trolls like goats.
03:19Where should I go?
03:20Well, quickly team, there's no escape.
03:22Try spellcasting.
03:24Yes.
03:25Spellcasting.
03:27L-I-T-T-L-E.
03:35Oi.
03:37What, finally?
03:38Hey.
03:38Are you up there?
03:40What?
03:41I'll get you for this.
03:42You're this.
03:43He's gone now.
03:44He's gone.
03:45I can't hear you.
03:45But don't stop to congratulate yourself.
03:47Keep moving now.
03:48Where?
03:49You're by a ridge.
03:49So turn to your right.
03:51That's it.
03:51Move forward until we say stop.
03:54Stop.
03:55Yeah.
03:55Go on.
03:56Go on.
03:56Keep on going, Claire.
03:57Go on.
03:58Turn a little to your left.
03:59Go on.
03:59That's it.
04:00Go on.
04:01Where are I?
04:03Intruder alert.
04:04Level one.
04:06No one gets past gumboiled the horrid without the password.
04:12The password for perish.
04:1612 star.
04:18Password accepted.
04:20Go on.
04:21Go on.
04:21Passively.
04:22Where are we going to go?
04:22Where is she going to go?
04:23This time.
04:25No, there.
04:25A team.
04:26The well way leads to a lower level.
04:29Claire must enter it to proceed.
04:31Claire goes straight in front of you.
04:34Right.
04:34Stop.
04:35There's a step in front of you.
04:36Go up it.
04:37And there's another one.
04:39Now, can you sit on the rim of that and put your legs down inside him?
04:48Now, where am I?
04:50You're in a room and there's a table with something on it.
04:53There's some cheese, it is.
04:55There's a man sitting on a wood block.
04:59Right.
05:01Claire, the table's to your right.
05:02Can you see it?
05:04Stand still, dogs, butter.
05:07What's mine is mine.
05:09Or else it's yours.
05:11Turn, you thieving scumbag.
05:14Don't be nice to him.
05:15Let's have a look at you.
05:19Why, it's a dungeon here.
05:22More dungeon here, butter.
05:24Look at it.
05:24Oh, dear, this is Cedric, the rudest and some say the maddest monk in all Christendom.
05:30Careful how you deal with him.
05:32Okay, dog's breath.
05:34Here's the score.
05:36You can challenge me and exercise that pee they've given you for a brain.
05:41Or else, you and me can have a little spot of court and staff practice.
05:46Only you don't get a staff.
05:49Claire, to challenge him, simply call out, I challenge.
05:53I challenge.
05:54Challenge accepted.
05:56Dog's bottom.
05:59Now, listen.
06:02In dungeons dark and darkness cold, the silent spinner awaits the bold.
06:08She never has to buy her threads.
06:11And she walks the night on eight great legs.
06:15What is she?
06:18What is she?
06:19What's a lady, spider?
06:21A spider.
06:21What do you think, Claire?
06:23Um, any ideas, Claire?
06:24A spider.
06:25A spider.
06:26A spider.
06:26An answer.
06:27An answer.
06:28A spider.
06:28A spider.
06:29Truth accepted.
06:31Truth accepted.
06:32Now, listen again.
06:33If the pen is mightier than the sword, which bird is mightier than the hawk?
06:45Have you got any ideas?
06:45What do you think, Claire?
06:45What do you think, Claire?
06:45What do you think, Claire?
06:46I don't know.
06:47Can you repeat it?
06:48Can you repeat it, please?
06:50Can you repeat it, please?
06:51Once!
06:52Listen.
06:54Listen.
06:55If the pen is mightier than the sword, which bird is mightier than the hawk?
07:03Hmm.
07:03Let me see.
07:04Um.
07:05Have you got any ideas?
07:07What do you get a call off?
07:08An answer.
07:09Get a feathering quiz or something.
07:11I don't know.
07:11A bird.
07:13An eagle.
07:13An eagle.
07:14An eagle.
07:15An eagle.
07:16Falsehood!
07:17Turtle brain!
07:19The dove was the truth I sought.
07:21Now listen carefully.
07:24If you would a warrior bee, name the skin that saves your skin.
07:34What does it save your skin?
07:37Ask Claire.
07:37Claire, what do you think?
07:39I don't know.
07:39Leopard.
07:40I think something like that.
07:41I don't know.
07:42Leopard.
07:43I usually wear leopard skin.
07:45Try a leopard.
07:45One question, one answer.
07:47Leopard.
07:49Falsehood!
07:50Armour!
07:51One was the truth I sought.
07:53What was it?
07:53Armour.
07:55Armour.
07:55One's the score.
07:56So you can help yourself to some grub.
07:59Oh.
07:59You'll need all your strength, because you haven't got any brains!
08:04What was it?
08:06Armour.
08:20Armour.
08:20Stop there. Now, walk forward. Straight. No, stop, stop. Take one step to your right, a sidestep. Now walk straight.
08:33Where am I?
08:34You're in a room with three entrances.
08:37A dire warning team, here lurks Ariadne, great-grandmother of Ariadne's. Once she captures you, there's no escape.
08:46Claire, take three strides to the left, quick. Quick. Move forward.
08:55Move forward. Which one? That one. It's going to have to be.
08:58Oh, quick. Move three to the right. Three to the right. Stop. Stop. Walk forward. Quick. Quick. Go.
09:07Now where am I?
09:09You're in a room with a table and some objects on it.
09:13Careful, team. You've reached a clue room, but a cabin raid is on guard. Its presence is draining your life
09:18force. You must use magic.
09:22But then, you have a game.
09:26Oh, dear.
09:28What a pity.
09:30What a bind.
09:32There has come to a rather ghoulish end.
09:35What a shame you didn't collect some magic from Cedric.
09:40And now I'm afraid you must join Claire outside the dungeon walls.
09:47Spellcasting.
09:48D-I-S.
09:51M-I-S-S.
09:56Farewell, Claire, Carrie, Michelle, and Cheryl.
09:59So, your quest is run, but we still have deeds to do before time turns.
10:05And so, it's goodbye to them.
10:08And welcome to our next victims.
10:11Enter, stranger.
10:16Name yourself, please.
10:18Christy, for more than you.
10:19Well, Christopher, call your advisors and let them introduce themselves.
10:24Kenneth, Paul, and Chris.
10:29Who guides this Dungeoneer?
10:31Kenneth Dixon, from St. Helens.
10:34Paul Watts, also from St. Helens.
10:36Chris Hodkinson, also from St. Helens.
10:39Your challenge is accepted.
10:41Now, Christopher, take this knapsack for food, but place only food in it.
10:46You'll need it to sustain your sprite of energy.
10:50This is its manifestation.
10:53It is your own life force.
10:55Thus, this is condition green.
10:59The next stage is amber.
11:02And on condition red, you are in grave peril, for this is no game of numerous lives.
11:07Here, you have only one.
11:10Now, Christopher, in your quest for truth, you must don the helmet of justice.
11:15It will blind you to the way ahead, but still allow you to see objects directly beneath.
11:21For the rest, your advisors must be your eyes, and their voices will reach you through the helmet.
11:28I, of course, will be with you.
11:30And yet, not with you.
11:32Use logic and guile to find the right path.
11:35But remember, the only way is onward.
11:39There is no turning back.
11:42Now, Christopher, your life force is green, and your cause is just.
11:49So face the dungeon door, and step boldly forward.
11:55Where am I?
11:57You're in a smallish room.
11:58In front of you, there are, like, stars.
12:05Towards your right, like, northeast from you, is a lever.
12:10So, take two side steps to your right.
12:14The whole team, the wheel of bait spins, but not the loft.
12:18Make your choice quickly, or star here is limbo.
12:22Go forward.
12:25Pull the lever.
12:27Towards you.
12:32Where am I?
12:33You're in a room, a smallish room, with four doors.
12:36Yeah.
12:36On one of the doors, towards your left, there is a sign which says ring bell.
12:40So, we're going to direct you towards that.
12:42Right.
12:43Can you turn round half a turn to your left, please?
12:46That's it.
12:47Stop.
12:48And walk forward till we say stop.
12:50Keep going.
12:50Keep going.
12:52Keep going.
12:53Careful, careful.
12:54Right, stop.
12:55That's fine.
12:55Yeah.
12:57Reach up with your right arm.
13:00Right a bit with your right a bit.
13:02A bit more.
13:04A side step.
13:05Right, right.
13:05And another.
13:06Really stretch your hand out.
13:08Stretch your, walk forward.
13:11And move to your right.
13:14And again with your arm.
13:16Press the bell.
13:17Lift up your arm, now press.
13:22All right.
13:23All right, now.
13:24There's a gate, something's just, a gate's closed over the pit.
13:28Right, so you can walk across it now.
13:29Hurry up.
13:30Turn to your right.
13:32Now walk forward.
13:37Right, side step to your right.
13:39Side step to your right.
13:41Right.
13:41Now walk forward.
13:45What am I?
13:46You're in a medium-sized room with two doors, one directly in front to you.
13:52Right.
13:52One is got debris behind it and one is clear.
13:57It's got what behind it.
13:58A team, the left-hand path is always more dangerous.
14:02Hurry now, worms are here.
14:04This one's bite is deadly.
14:07Set four side, six side steps to your right.
14:14Stop, stop, stop, go forward.
14:16Quick, hurry up.
14:18Hurry up.
14:19That's fine, quick.
14:20Go on, keep going.
14:24What am I?
14:25You're in a medium-sized room with two doors.
14:27One door is bricked up and one is on your right.
14:30In front of you, there's a table with three objects on it.
14:33It's a pineapple, an egg timer, an egg, and a leaf.
14:39The table's nine in front, mate.
14:42All right, side step to your left.
14:45And again.
14:47And again.
14:48Can you feel the table now?
14:49Feel the table?
14:50Yeah.
14:51Go around the back of the table.
14:54Go on later.
14:55Keep going.
14:57Right.
14:58Now then.
15:00Pick up any...
15:01Beware, team.
15:03Don't touch what you've yet to earn.
15:08I am Granitas of legend.
15:13Face me or perish.
15:16So long.
15:17Leave me or walk in ignorance.
15:20Oh, dear.
15:21It's Granitas, the deadliest war monster in the dungeon.
15:26Listen carefully, team.
15:28Three riddles have I.
15:31Love and truth I seek.
15:34Here is my first.
15:37The day is past.
15:39The race is run.
15:40Second to last I came and I was third.
15:44But how many in the race?
15:48First.
15:48Second to last.
15:52Second to last.
15:54Three.
15:55Three.
15:56Three.
15:56Three.
15:56Three.
15:56Second to last.
15:57Three.
15:57Three.
15:57Second to last.
15:57Three.
15:59Is that three, Chris?
16:00First hood.
16:01Three.
16:02Far was the truth I sought.
16:05Four.
16:05Here is my second.
16:08From an egg I was born with no feathers to dry.
16:15Birds I may eat, yet I never fly.
16:20Cold-blooded I am, but what am I?
16:25Third.
16:25That's right.
16:27That's right.
16:28It's just mocking us.
16:31Think team, from which chamber have you just come?
16:35Oh, I'm up.
16:36I'm up.
16:36Say reptile.
16:37Reptile.
16:38Reptile.
16:38Truth accepted. Here is my third. There are 60 seconds in a minute, but how many firsts are there?
16:52Ask and repeat. I will repeat but once only. There are 60 seconds in a minute, but how many firsts
17:04are there?
17:08Really, team, how many firsts are there in anything?
17:13One?
17:13Say one.
17:15One, one.
17:15Truth accepted. Two is the score. Your quest is to find the chalice, but you may not drink from it.
17:27To descend, you will need a herbal remedy. Now, rock I was, and rock I was.
17:40Right, Chris, turn around, Chris. Right, now, choose one item of food and a leaf.
17:53Yeah.
17:57Remember, you can take two clue objects, team.
18:00And what else is there?
18:01The egg timer and an egg.
18:03And take the egg timer as well.
18:06Right, now, turn to your left. And walk, no, turn to your right a bit. And a bit more.
18:14Right, that's it.
18:15Walk forward.
18:16So, we say stop.
18:18Stop.
18:19Turn to your right a little bit. A bit more. That's it. Walk forward.
18:26You're in, like, a cave sort of cabin-like thing. Almost directly in front of you. There's a fire blazing,
18:34but it keeps going.
18:35Make haste, team, but be careful not to fry your dungeneer.
18:40Walk forward. Slow left. And that's it. Stop. Now, keep walking.
18:45Keep walking.
18:46You're not right.
18:47Stop. Stop. Stop.
18:49Right, when I say, not yet, when it goes down, the fact that you're popping out.
18:53Now, I say, quickly.
18:55There they are.
18:56Now.
18:58Quick.
18:59Walk forward.
18:59Keep going.
19:00Right. Stop. Stop.
19:02Turn to your left.
19:04And walk forward slowly.
19:07Well, you can speed up your dungeneer, that's all right.
19:10No, fine.
19:11Go on. Keep going.
19:13Right.
19:14Turn to your left.
19:16Now, walk slowly. Very slowly.
19:19Go on. Keep going.
19:21Go on.
19:21Slowly.
19:22Watch it.
19:23Side step.
19:24Side step to your right.
19:26Right.
19:27Careful again.
19:28Go on.
19:28Walk forward slowly.
19:30Very small step.
19:31Yeah, that's it.
19:32Keep going.
19:33Keep going.
19:34Stop. Stop.
19:35Stop there.
19:35Don't move.
19:36Now, when I say again, quick.
19:39Go.
19:40I keep walking forward.
19:43Where am I?
19:45You're in a smallish room at the side of you.
19:48There appears to be a lake with all things crawling in it.
19:51And there's a man almost directly in front of you.
19:54He looks like a Viking.
19:56He's looking at you now.
19:56Stop.
19:56You can go no further.
19:59First, you must choose loot, pillage, or worms.
20:04We've got plenty of worms.
20:06See?
20:07Eurgh.
20:07How revolting.
20:09This Olaf is what you might call a Scandinavian tourist.
20:15Come on.
20:17Choose you must.
20:19Loot, pillage, or worms.
20:22Which one?
20:23Loot.
20:24Loot.
20:24Oh, good.
20:27What loot you got for Olaf, then?
20:30Egg timer.
20:32Egg timer, Chris.
20:34Egg timer.
20:35Oh, egg timer for Olaf.
20:38Good.
20:39Now Olaf can time his eggs to perfection.
20:43Time for supper worms.
20:45Bye-bye.
20:46Olaf is very happy to be looting you.
20:50Right, walk forward, slowly.
20:55Keep going.
20:56Go on, keep going.
20:57Turn right, slow.
21:00And again.
21:01And again.
21:01Now, walk forward, slowly.
21:03I'm looking for you to do it.
21:05Go on, slow.
21:06Keep going.
21:06Go on, keep going now.
21:08You're all right.
21:08Go on, keep going.
21:15Where am I?
21:16You're in a smallish room.
21:18In the middle of the room, there is a well.
21:20On the opposite wall to where you are stuck...
21:23Welcome, Christopher.
21:26Congratulations on finding the well way to level two.
21:29Now, the well is right in front of you.
21:32So just walk forward until you see the edge and climb in.
21:36Don't.
21:36Don't.
21:37Don't.
21:37Don't.
21:38Don't.
21:39Come on, Christopher.
21:40Come on.
21:42Don't be silly now.
21:45You're only wasting life for...
21:48Mildred, Mildred, cease at once.
21:58How does it feel to be a statue then, Sir Treygaard?
22:04Not so much a dungeon master.
22:07More a dungeon plaster.
22:11Enough!
22:12If you ever attempt magic on me again, I will arrange for you to meet Merlin.
22:18Believe me, you won't enjoy it.
22:21But my apologies, team.
22:23Mildred is both mischievous and dangerous.
22:27But now that you see her as she really is, you'll still have to deal with her.
22:33So he will.
22:37So he will.
22:40What's your name, Dungeoneer?
22:43Christopher.
22:43Christopher.
22:45Have you got anything for poor old Mildred?
22:49The leaf.
22:49The leaf.
22:50The leaf.
22:50The leaf.
22:50The leaf.
22:51The leaf.
22:53Yeah.
22:53The leaf.
22:54It's a remedy.
22:56It's a remedy.
22:56So it's a herbal remedy.
22:58It's a herbal remedy.
22:59A fresh sprig of gravewort.
23:01And no mistake.
23:03I'll show you how I use it.
23:11Wet and worms make a spell.
23:17Conjure up a deep, dark worm.
23:23Warning, team.
23:25A complete temporal disruption imminent.
23:27Time is now the enemy.
23:32Oh, dear.
23:34Temporal disruption complete.
23:36All adventuring must now cease until you phase with us once more.
23:41Will Mildred make amends with magic?
23:44And what shape will our team be in when she does?
23:48Journey with us again soon to nightmare.
23:52But don't come alone.
23:54You're safer in company.
24:16Join us at 9 o'clock tonight for classic Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
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