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#knightmare
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00:01This video is brought to you by S.T.A.L.D.
00:35Welcome, Watchers of Illusion, to the Castle of Confusion.
00:40I, Treyguard, challenge you to the ultimate adventure.
00:45The next phase of the dungeon is now complete.
00:49The door to your world is open.
00:52So, enter straight.
00:55Ah, the first challenger of this stage.
00:59Your name for the roles, please.
01:01Martin Mountry.
01:02Very well, Martin.
01:04Your reward is squiredom.
01:06The first stage to knighthood, but only if you survive this quest.
01:10Now, summon your three advisors.
01:13John, Lee, and Tawney.
01:16Who guides this dungeon here?
01:19Lee Carl from Sunderland.
01:22Tawney Blitie from Sunderland.
01:24John Scott from Sunderland.
01:26Your challenge is accepted.
01:27Now, Martin, take this knapsack for food, but place only food in it.
01:33You'll need it to sustain your sprite of energy.
01:36This is its manifestation.
01:38It is your own life force.
01:41This is condition green.
01:45The next stage is amber.
01:47And on condition red, you are in grave peril, for this is no game of numerous lives.
01:53Here, you have only one.
01:56Now, Martin, in your quest for truth, you must don the helmet of justice.
02:00It will blind you to the way ahead, but still allow you to see objects directly beneath.
02:05For the rest, your advisors must be your eyes, and their voices will reach you through the helmet.
02:12I, of course, will be with you, and yet not with you.
02:17Use logic and guile to find the right path.
02:20But remember, the only way is onward.
02:24There is no turning back.
02:26Well, Martin, your life force is green, and your cause is just.
02:33So, face the dungeon door, and step boldly forward.
02:43Where am I?
02:44You're in a hallway with five stars in front of you, and on your right-hand side, there's a lever.
02:52Yes.
02:54Er, step forward, Martin.
03:00Stop.
03:02Attention, team, this is the wheel of fate.
03:04It could also be the wheel of fortune, if you're quick enough.
03:07Martin has but seconds to ensure his progress by halting the wheel of the chamber of his choice.
03:12Turn right, Martin.
03:12Use the lever directly by your right hand, Martin.
03:15Forward.
03:16Step forward, quick.
03:17Or you'll be trapped here.
03:18There's a lever in front of you.
03:20Can you push it downwards?
03:23No.
03:23To your right.
03:24Sideways, sideways.
03:25Sideways, to your right.
03:26There.
03:28Now, turn left slightly.
03:32Where am I?
03:33You're in a room with four doors.
03:35Two in front of you, and two on your left and right-hand side.
03:39Ow!
03:40Ow!
03:41No, I won't!
03:42I won't play, Polly!
03:43It's a stupid game anyway!
03:45Fickleby-da, fickleby-bee!
03:47A tester's life is full of glee!
03:49Stop it, Polly!
03:50I said stop it!
03:52Look, there's something else for you to play with.
03:55There's some kind of a thing gummy over there.
03:57Why don't you go and play with that?
04:04Hmm.
04:05You're not a thingy-me, are you?
04:07No.
04:07No, of course not.
04:09You're a bold dungeoneer.
04:10Oh, my name's not Richard the Lionheart.
04:12Actually, it's not Richard the Anything.
04:14Woo-hoo-hoo!
04:16Let me introduce myself.
04:18Papi-a-ta-ta-ta-ta!
04:21Before you stands, and dances too, the fool of all the world.
04:26Folly is my name, and folly is my nature.
04:28Foolishness my character, and fun my alma mater.
04:31Woo-hoo!
04:32Oh, what's your name, that young dungeoneer?
04:34Martin.
04:35Well, Martin, you look much more fun to play with than Gretel.
04:40Gretel, she is a maid, not a serving maid, mind you.
04:44Oh, no.
04:45Don't let her hear you say that.
04:46Gretel is a maiden sort of a maid.
04:49Anyway, are you ready for my game?
04:51Yes.
04:52Okay.
04:53Well, the name of the game is Chase the Lady.
04:58I'm going to chase in this direction.
05:01I wonder which direction you should chase in.
05:03Bye!
05:04Woo-hoo!
05:09Push that through.
05:11Make sure I throw that door there.
05:13Right, Martin.
05:14Oh, quickly, team.
05:15You've had your clue.
05:16Now, choose your exit fast.
05:18Walk forward, Martin.
05:19Quickly.
05:20Quickly.
05:21Quickly.
05:21Quickly.
05:23Stop.
05:24Turn to your right, slightly.
05:26Forward.
05:26No, left a bit.
05:28And keep walking forward.
05:31Quickly.
05:34Where am I?
05:35You're in a bomb room.
05:37There's a door on your left-hand side.
05:39Take one step forward, Martin.
05:41Turn to your left.
05:43Now, walk forward.
05:44Quickly.
05:45Quickly.
05:47What room are you in?
05:49You're in a square room.
05:50There's two doors in the right corner and a table near the middle.
05:54Yes.
05:54Can you walk forwards until I see a stop, Martin?
05:59I'd stop.
06:01Turn to your right, slightly.
06:03Can you see a table in front of you?
06:05Yes.
06:06Can you walk towards the place?
06:09On the table is a glove, a bottle, a cake.
06:15Congratulations, team.
06:16You've made it to the level one clue room.
06:18It's guarded, of course.
06:20Prepare for trial.
06:24I am Olgoth of legend.
06:30Don't remember.
06:30Face me and learn, or perish in ignorance, as I feed on you.
06:39I have three riddles, and here is the first.
06:43It is born of an egg, yet its mother never feeds it.
06:49A song it sings, but only two notes ever leave it.
06:54What is it?
06:57Martin, try cuckoo.
06:59Cuckoo.
06:59Truth accepted.
07:02Here is my second.
07:05Who is the giant of the green wood?
07:15Well, think of Sherwood, team.
07:18Ork.
07:19Sherwood forest.
07:21Try the ork, Martin.
07:22Pardon?
07:23Ork.
07:24Ork.
07:26Ork.
07:27Ork.
07:29Ork.
07:29Falsehood.
07:30Little John was the truth I thought.
07:34Here is my third.
07:37Time and tide wait for no man.
07:41Yet one substance will measure it for him.
07:46Name it.
07:50Is trust sand, Martin?
07:52Sand.
07:52Truth accepted.
07:56Two is the score.
07:58Your quest is to find the sword, but you may not wield it.
08:03The password for this level is the maiden name.
08:11Rock I was, and rock I repose.
08:16Come on, team.
08:18Martin's been here too long.
08:19Get the food and make your choice.
08:21Turn around to face the table, Martin.
08:23Take the food.
08:26Take the food.
08:28Take the food and take the key, Martin.
08:36The glove.
08:37The glove.
08:38The glove.
08:39And take the glove.
08:40Right.
08:42Turn around, Martin.
08:43Hurry, team.
08:44Hurry.
08:44You're only wasting a life.
08:45Forward.
08:46Forward, Martin.
08:47Stop.
08:49Turn to your right until it's your stop.
08:51Keep turning.
08:52Stop.
08:53Rock forward.
08:56Faster.
08:59Where am I?
09:00You're on the edge of a ledge.
09:03There's a guard in front of you.
09:05Halt!
09:06Intruder alert.
09:08Level one.
09:09Gumboil the Ored reporting.
09:11The password.
09:13Intruder.
09:14Or you perish.
09:16See a grittle.
09:17Now!
09:18Grittle.
09:20Password accepted.
09:23Pass on.
09:25Rock forward carefully, Martin.
09:27Stop.
09:27Just you make sure you get a password for level two.
09:31Or you go on the chopping list.
09:35Come on, on you go.
09:36Before I change my mind.
09:39What kind of room is it?
09:41Martin, listen.
09:42Straight ahead.
09:44You're in a well room, Martin.
09:45There's a well.
09:46Walk forward and get into it.
09:51Keep going.
09:54Hurry, Martin.
09:55What are you waiting for?
09:56Stand still, Martin.
09:58This is a threat I had not expected,
10:00for she's not often found on this level.
10:02Her name is Mildred.
10:04And as you've discovered,
10:06she's a voice changer.
10:07A shape changer, too,
10:09as you're about to discover.
10:11Mildred.
10:12Everything as it was.
10:14Now!
10:17Interfering.
10:18Interfering.
10:19Dratty.
10:20Devious.
10:22Dungeon master.
10:24All mouths and broad.
10:26Sword.
10:27Yes, master.
10:29Very well, master.
10:31As you will, master.
10:34Ah!
10:37Ah, so.
10:38And now you see how important it is
10:41to know exactly what you're getting into.
10:43Treat her with caution, team.
10:45She can be useful,
10:46but she's always dangerous.
10:50Dangerous.
10:51Dangerous.
10:52Dangerous.
10:52I wouldn't hurt a fly.
10:56I'd hurt him, though.
10:58I'd turn him into a fly
11:00and then hurt him.
11:05Now, here's a bold young thing.
11:10Ever so clever, too, I expect.
11:14Got any back swings, have you?
11:17Do anything for back swings, I would.
11:20Got some, have you?
11:22Eh?
11:23Yeah, no, ma'am.
11:24What you got?
11:26What?
11:27No.
11:28No back swings.
11:29Well, what have you got, then?
11:32Nothing?
11:33Tell me what you've got.
11:34A key.
11:35A key.
11:38Oh, lovely, lovely.
11:41My door's got no lock.
11:44Oh, you're no good to me.
11:46You've got nothing to offer me
11:48and I've got nothing to offer you.
11:51So you can go.
11:53Off with you.
11:54I've got things to do.
11:56Martin, turn away.
11:56Off you go.
11:57Go on.
11:58Forward.
11:58Yeah?
11:59Go on.
12:00Off you go.
12:01Out of my place.
12:02Go on.
12:02What do you see?
12:03Forward.
12:05Turn to your left, slightly.
12:07Forward, quickly.
12:12You're in a bomb room, Martin.
12:14Forward as fast as you can.
12:15Quickly.
12:16Run.
12:16Quickly, run.
12:27Oh, dear.
12:29What a pity.
12:30Never mind.
12:31Mildred has sent you into peril.
12:34The armorer's gauntlet could have saved you.
12:37But the secret of its use, you never earned.
12:41Lee, attorney John, your quest is over.
12:45And now you must join Martin beyond the castle walls.
12:50Spell casting.
12:52D-I-S-M-I-S-S-S.
13:00Boys, we're sorry to lose you.
13:02But there again, it's you who've lost.
13:05Farewell.
13:06The dungeon wins and challenge is still.
13:09I wonder who will be next.
13:12Enter, stranger.
13:17Name yourself, please.
13:19Claire Tisdale.
13:20Well, quickly, Claire.
13:21Call your advisors and let them introduce themselves.
13:25Kerry, Michelle, Cheryl.
13:28Who guides this dungeon here?
13:31I'm Kerry Helfrich from Ludlow in Chopshire.
13:34I'm Michelle Pound and I'm from Ludlow too.
13:37I'm Cheryl Oakley.
13:38I'm also from Ludlow.
13:39Your challenge is accepted.
13:42Now, Claire, take this knapsack for food.
13:45But place only food in it.
13:48You'll need it to sustain your sprite of energy.
13:51This is its manifestation.
13:54It is your own life force.
13:57This is condition green.
14:01The next stage is amber.
14:04And on condition red, you are in grave peril.
14:07For this is no game of numerous lives.
14:10Here, you have only one.
14:13Now, Claire, in your quest for truth,
14:16you must don the helmet of justice.
14:19It will blind you to the way ahead,
14:21but still allow you to see objects directly beneath.
14:24For the rest, your advisors must be your eyes,
14:28and their voices will reach you through the helmet.
14:31I, of course, will be with you,
14:33and yet not with you.
14:35Use logic and guile to find the right path.
14:39But remember, the only way is onward.
14:42There is no turning back.
14:45Now, Claire,
14:47your life force is green,
14:50and your cause is just.
14:52So, face the dungeon door,
14:55and step boldly forward.
15:01Where am I?
15:02You're in a room with a lever.
15:05Um, do you think they ought to push the lever?
15:07Go.
15:10Go, go to their, um, left.
15:12Hold still, team.
15:14While the wheel of fate turns,
15:16fortune slips away.
15:18Claire, the lever to hold the wheel
15:20is at your right hand.
15:21Team, you have precious seconds to instruct her.
15:25Go to the wheel.
15:27Go to the lever.
15:29To, uh, Claire, go to the right.
15:31To your right.
15:32Go on, walk until we say stop.
15:33Stop.
15:35Go to your, um, left 90 degrees.
15:37Forward.
15:39Push the lever forward, sir.
15:41Push, push, push.
15:47Where am I?
15:48In a room,
15:49in a place that has four corridors leading off.
15:51In each one, there's a night,
15:52a fire exit,
15:54an eye,
15:54or a scowl.
15:56A choices, choices, choices, team.
15:59Still, any decision is better than indecision.
16:02Well, almost.
16:04Which one should we go, Claire?
16:06Any idea?
16:08Yeah.
16:08Go, about the night.
16:11Yeah.
16:11Go for the night.
16:11Nightmare.
16:12Yeah, go on, Claire.
16:13Take the night, Claire.
16:14Turn to your right.
16:16Keep going.
16:19Stop.
16:20Turn to your left.
16:21Turn left.
16:22That's it.
16:23Go forward.
16:24Keep going.
16:25Keep going.
16:28Where am I?
16:30You're in a room,
16:31which leads off,
16:32which has one opening.
16:34Keep on going.
16:35Wait.
16:36Stop.
16:37Don't move.
16:38Wait.
16:39There's cracks in the floor.
16:40There's lightning just cracked the floor.
16:42There's two big holes.
16:44Should we let...
16:45Move or not?
16:47Where shall I go?
16:48It doesn't look like it has caught in front of me.
16:51You guys should hurry, team.
16:52Quickly, make for the exit.
16:54Move.
16:55Carry on walking straight.
16:56Don't turn.
16:57No, no, no.
16:58No, stop.
16:58Turn to the left.
17:00Go to the left a bit.
17:00Only slightly.
17:01To your left.
17:02Slightly.
17:03No.
17:03Move forward.
17:05Stop.
17:06No, stop.
17:06No.
17:07Directly right in front of me.
17:09No, straighten yourself out,
17:10the way you were before.
17:11That's it.
17:11Now go straight forward.
17:13No, watch out.
17:14Stop.
17:15Stop.
17:15Go to the left a bit.
17:16Slowly.
17:17Now carry on.
17:18Go on quick.
17:18In.
17:19Carry on.
17:20Carry on.
17:21Where am I?
17:23You're in a room.
17:23That was close, team.
17:25But at least you're safely through to the level one clue room.
17:28Objects are here.
17:30But remember, two only may you carry,
17:32and all must be earned.
17:36You're in a room with two doors,
17:38and there's a table right in the middle.
17:42Walk forward.
17:43Intruder, beware.
17:46I am Igneous of legend.
17:50I seek truth or feed on you.
17:55There, you see.
17:57Igneous usually has a splitting headache,
17:59which makes him a very bad-tempered wall,
18:02monster caution team.
18:04Three truths I seek,
18:07and one will pass you.
18:11Here is my first.
18:14The tortoise was slow, old, and wrinkled of face,
18:20but he turned out the winner.
18:23Who did he race?
18:27Claire, do you agree with hair?
18:29Yeah.
18:30Would you tell Claire to say it?
18:32That's it.
18:32What?
18:33Say it.
18:34Hair.
18:35Hair.
18:36Truth accepted.
18:38Here is my second.
18:41A tree died for it.
18:45Ink dried on it.
18:48It can be read,
18:51then roll.
18:53Paper.
18:54Yeah, we think that's what I call it.
18:55Paper.
18:56Truth accepted.
19:00Here is my third.
19:04Before the coming of the cross,
19:07there was another god of light,
19:11but they never worshipped him at night.
19:15Name him.
19:18What do you think of the sun god?
19:20Yeah, okay.
19:21Sun god.
19:23Truth accepted.
19:26Three is the score.
19:29Your quest is for the shield,
19:33but it will not defend you.
19:37The cut has a bitter taste.
19:41Quick, Claire,
19:43with all three correct,
19:44you may command him
19:45and gain further intelligence.
19:46Shout out,
19:47I command you.
19:49I command you.
19:51Oh, very well.
19:53The password for this level
19:57is Felspar.
20:01Rock I was
20:03and rock I become.
20:10Take Claire around the table
20:12and take your food
20:13and make your choice.
20:14Claire, go two steps to the side.
20:17That's it.
20:17Now walk forward until we say stop.
20:20Stop.
20:21There's the apple top,
20:23the key,
20:23pearls,
20:24and the beaker on the table.
20:26Take the pie.
20:27Put the pie in the bag
20:29and the cup.
20:31Take the cup.
20:32About the key.
20:33Cup and the key.
20:35Think what the wall monster told you.
20:37Cup, right.
20:39The cup.
20:40Okay.
20:41And if it has a bitter taste?
20:42I've got them.
20:44Yeah,
20:45I have the pearls.
20:46He would like it
20:46with a bitter taste.
20:48Right then.
20:50Turn.
20:52Do a...
20:54Full time.
20:55That's it.
20:55Stop.
20:56Move forward until we say stop.
20:59Carry on, carry on, carry on.
21:01Stop.
21:02Turn slightly,
21:03slowly to the right.
21:05Stop.
21:06Walk forward.
21:10Where am I?
21:11You're in a room
21:12with the archway leading out.
21:14There's a green monster.
21:18Oh,
21:18I haven't met this monster before.
21:21A friend or foe,
21:22I wouldn't know,
21:23but I shouldn't wait to find out.
21:25Turn to the right.
21:27Keep on walking
21:28until I say stop.
21:29Grand shield.
21:30Stop.
21:31Turn to the left.
21:32Carry on to the left.
21:34That's it.
21:35Carry on walking.
21:38Stop.
21:39Turn to go to the left
21:40just a little bit.
21:41Only a little.
21:42Go on.
21:43No,
21:44keep,
21:44turn straight.
21:45Go to the right again.
21:45Go to the right.
21:47Go on.
21:49Walk.
21:51Stop.
21:52Turn to the,
21:52turn to the right again.
21:55Go one step forward.
21:57Now turn to the left.
21:59Stop.
22:00Now walk forward.
22:01Go on.
22:04Where am I?
22:05You're in a...
22:07What happened?
22:09You're there.
22:10A lady sitting on them
22:12to the stone.
22:14Silent spies,
22:15chitter-chatter-chitter.
22:17Young person,
22:18I don't recall inviting you in here.
22:22What is your name?
22:23What are you?
22:24Claire.
22:25A dungeoneer?
22:28Well, now you listen to me
22:30and don't take any notice
22:32of your spying friends.
22:34You see,
22:35I feel very lonely
22:38and bored today.
22:40I need company.
22:42So I'm going to magic you
22:43my causeway
22:44so that you can come over here
22:46to me
22:46and we can get better acquainted.
22:50Clare,
22:50don't go in.
22:51Go in.
22:52Silence!
22:54There.
22:55Solid as a rock.
22:57It is okay.
22:57Now, Claire,
22:58you come over here
22:59to me
22:59and Lilith
23:01will give you
23:01such a lovely surprise.
23:04Don't, Claire.
23:05Don't.
23:05Don't.
23:07Don't.
23:07Now, come on.
23:08Don't be shy, Claire.
23:10Don't be tardy.
23:12Don't.
23:13What should I do?
23:14Do you see?
23:14No.
23:15Ah,
23:16you're not as dim
23:16as you look,
23:17are you?
23:18Yeah.
23:19Oh, well.
23:20I was just teasing.
23:22Lilith must have
23:23her little joke,
23:24you know.
23:26Nothing else to do.
23:28Ah, well.
23:29Rock to rock
23:31and stone to stone
23:32span the pit
23:34and cross the zone.
23:38There you are,
23:40you see.
23:40Now you really can
23:41come over here
23:42to me
23:43and you will
23:45be rewarded
23:47if you are
23:48carrying something
23:49that I desire.
23:51Warning, team.
23:52Complete temporal
23:53disruption imminent.
23:54Time is now
23:55the enemy.
23:57Oh, dear.
23:58Temporal disruption
23:59complete.
24:00All adventuring
24:01must now cease
24:02until you phase
24:03with us once more.
24:05Will our team
24:06please Lilith
24:07and win their way
24:08to magic?
24:09In any way,
24:10why should you care?
24:12for surely
24:13it's all merely
24:14an illusion.
24:15Join us again
24:17for a nightmare
24:18and just keep telling
24:20yourself
24:21it can't be real,
24:23can it?
24:34Are you happy?
24:35England's won.
24:37Hurrah!
24:37Finally!
24:38You can catch
24:39outdoor outtakes
24:40tomorrow from
24:41five o'clock,
24:41oblivious at
24:43five thirty
24:43and a double
24:45Takeshi's Castle
24:46from six o'clock.
24:47Coming up right
24:48after the break,
24:49it's the BrainBuzz
24:50satellite digital.
24:51Viewers,
24:51you can get
24:52interactive if you want
24:53by pressing your red
24:54button on your
24:55remote control.