- 2 months ago
- #knightmare
#knightmare
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:29This is the end of the game.
00:35Welcome, Watchers of Illusion, to the Castle of Confusion.
00:40Phase across time with us once more, for this is the age of adventure.
00:46I, Treyguard, master of the dungeon, give you audience.
00:51Watch now, you armchair adventurers,
00:55while others braver than yourselves challenge the secrets of my lair.
01:00A quest is now in progress, so here's a progress report.
01:06With Danny, Nigel, Mark and Tom, the Portsmouth boys are sailing on.
01:11By casting up an anvil spell, they made a warrior most unwell.
01:17So, from this peril, they were free to find and meet a talking key.
01:22This joker saved them from disaster, and introduced them to his master.
01:28Three magic spells old Merlin gave them, and Freezer could be one to save them.
01:33So, on they went to dodge the spears, but now they're faced with Polly's cheers.
01:40And now time turns, the fire burns, time out is gone.
01:46The quest is on.
01:48Says the right hand, to the left hand, I don't know the way.
01:53Says the left hand, to the right hand, I'm in disarray.
01:57Very well, quaff the right hand, then I'll have the say.
02:00And so saying, I'll be on my way.
02:03But just remember, don't follow me, follow your nose, if you notice what I mean.
02:08He he he he he!
02:10Woo-hoo-ha-ha-ha!
02:11Woo-hoo!
02:13No, that one.
02:14It's one of those things.
02:15That one's in the other side.
02:16That one's in the other side.
02:17That one's in the other side.
02:17And this one's in the other side.
02:20Maybe it's his right hand, so it's the right hand.
02:21No, if he has the same, maybe it's the other hand.
02:23Okay.
02:24Hurry up, team.
02:25You're wasting life, horse.
02:27Where you want to go?
02:27All right, Daniel.
02:29Try walking forwards.
02:31Carry on.
02:31Side step, you're side step.
02:34That's it.
02:35Right, now.
02:36Two side steps to your left.
02:39That's great.
02:40Now, try walking forwards.
02:42How do you get through a locked door with no keys?
02:46That is the door you got through.
02:47Danny, turn around.
02:50That's right.
02:51And walk forwards again.
02:54Turn to your right, then.
02:57Forwards.
03:00Where am I now?
03:02You're in a bomb room, Danny.
03:03Step forwards.
03:05And again, right.
03:06And again, turn right.
03:08Step forwards.
03:09Run, run, run.
03:09Quick, run.
03:18Ooh, nasty.
03:19And I can't imagine why you did it.
03:22Take the wrong path, I mean.
03:24Folly clearly indicated right, and yet you went left.
03:28Still, just to prove that Danny is not in little pieces,
03:32here he is outside the dungeon.
03:34And now it's time for you to join him.
03:38Spellcasting.
03:39D-I-S-M-I-S-S.
03:46And so, farewell, Danny, Nigel, Mark, and Tom.
03:50The scrolls are yours, boys.
03:52And so is the pathway leading back to your world.
03:56Only this time, remember to stay on the right.
04:05Ah, well, the dungeon wins and challenges still.
04:09So, enter, stranger.
04:12Who dares the dungeon next?
04:15Helen Abbott.
04:17Well, stand not on ceremony, then.
04:19Call your advisors to us now.
04:21Anthony, John Paul, Clay, Ken.
04:25And name yourselves, please.
04:28Anthony Thinett from Midglamorgan.
04:30John Paul Meyer from Midglamorgan.
04:32Claire Elliott from Midglamorgan.
04:34Well, now that we have the next team, we can commence.
04:38You will have read the rules of ritual and the Adventurer's Code.
04:41But first, for those who merely watch, a brief reminder.
04:45Here is the helmet of justice, which blinds you to the way ahead.
04:49Hear the knapsack for food to feed your life force.
04:54Two objects only may you carry if you discover objects on your quest.
04:58Choose cautiously and use magic or the weapons of your enemies with care.
05:04A word of warning.
05:05The dungeon is obscure, so any knowledge of previous quests will be of limited use.
05:11Well, Helen, your life force energy level is conditioned green.
05:16And your spirits are high.
05:17The silver spurs of squiredom await your success.
05:22But once embarked, remember, the only way is onward.
05:26There is no turning back.
05:29Well, Helen, are you ready to enter the quest?
05:33I am ready.
05:34Very well.
05:36Turn, then.
05:39Face the dungeon door.
05:41And step boldly forwards.
05:47Where am I?
05:48You're in a room with...
05:49No delays here, please, team.
05:52May I suggest that Helen uses her feet?
05:55There's a picture of a key on the floor, and there's four doors with keyholes in them.
06:00So step forward.
06:02Take a step to your left.
06:05Step forward again.
06:06Keep going.
06:09Right, stop.
06:11Stop.
06:12Turn to your left.
06:14Walk forward.
06:16Stop.
06:17Turn to your right.
06:18And walk forward.
06:21Stop.
06:22Move to your left a bit.
06:24Right, walk forward.
06:28Where am I?
06:29There's something in the room.
06:30There's a scorpion in the room with you.
06:34There's two doors and a sort of fireplace.
06:37Dire warning, team.
06:39This story has a sting in its tail.
06:41For this guardian was created by magic.
06:44Although it doesn't quite exist in human terms,
06:47it could still destroy you if it achieves contact.
06:51At the very least, it will seriously damage your life force.
06:57Take a sidestep to the right, Helen.
07:00Another one.
07:02Okay.
07:03A bit more.
07:05Okay.
07:06Walk forward, Helen.
07:07Fast.
07:08Stop.
07:10Now.
07:11Keep going.
07:13When we say now, walk forward very fast, as fast as you can.
07:18Now.
07:18Now.
07:23Where am I?
07:24You're in a room with a table with some clues on there.
07:28Walk forward to the table.
07:30Stop.
07:34Now.
07:35Go round the table to the other side.
07:39Take the apple.
07:46And the key.
07:47And the key.
07:47Yeah, the key.
07:48Warning, team.
07:50Level one clues are invariably guarded by wall monsters.
07:54A manifestation is about to occur.
07:56Stand quite still, Helen.
07:59Turn round, Helen.
08:02Stop.
08:02Ah, yes.
08:04There he is.
08:06Not exactly the most lovable of netherworld creations.
08:10This one's probably Olgoth.
08:12For his stony friend Granitas was on duty last time.
08:16And they tend to take it in turns.
08:18I am Granitas of legend.
08:23It grieves me to report that the crumbling fossil Olgoth is, at the moment, unfit for guard duty.
08:32The cause, it appears, is thrust action.
08:36And so be it.
08:38I have riddles of different times, of different legends.
08:43Three riddles have I, and truth I seek.
08:46One truth will pass you, two may aid you, three commands me.
08:52Fail three times, and I feed on you.
08:57Oh, dear.
08:59Granitas is unlikely to be in a good mood, but there again, he never is.
09:03You can confer, team, but only Helen may answer directly.
09:08Here is my first.
09:11Percival and Galahad thought it.
09:14Others seek it still.
09:17It has been called the cut that heals.
09:21Give its common calling.
09:24Holy grail.
09:25Truth accepted.
09:27Here is my second.
09:30What blindly sleeps for days, yet never lays to rest.
09:35What flies, but never was a bird.
09:41Could be time.
09:43I say time flies.
09:46Doesn't rest for days.
09:51One riddle, one answer.
09:54Name it now.
09:55Say time, Helen.
09:57Time.
09:59Falsehood.
10:00A bat was the truth I sought.
10:04Here is my third.
10:07Through dungeons deep and darkness cold,
10:10The miner goes in search of gold.
10:14Short of leg, yet strong of arm.
10:17If you take what's his, he'll do you her.
10:24Can you repeat the question, please?
10:49Try dwarf, Helen.
10:53Try dwarf.
10:55Dwarf.
10:56One, truth accepted.
10:59Two is the star, you may know more.
11:03The bloom is off the rose,
11:06Yet flowers may still please her.
11:12Granitas is sleeping now.
11:16Turn around, Helen.
11:19Take the flowers.
11:20Take the flowers.
11:22Turn around.
11:22Turn around.
11:23Got the key?
11:24Yes, got the key.
11:25Quickly, team, you are wasting life force.
11:27Walk forward.
11:29Stop.
11:30Turn right.
11:32Go forward.
11:36Where am I?
11:37Turn left, Helen.
11:39Walk on.
11:41Stop.
11:43Take a side step to the right.
11:45And hold out the key.
11:47And walk forward.
11:50Where am I?
11:51You're standing on the edge of a cliff
11:53for the hole with a giant in it.
11:55Turn to your left.
11:56Helen, don't move.
11:58Don't say a word.
11:59You're in the giant's chamber.
12:01And sleeping giants like sleeping dragons
12:04are best left undisturbed.
12:06Listen to the voices of your friends.
12:08And when they instruct you,
12:10creep forward as silently as you may.
12:13But don't move until they tell you,
12:14or you may suffer a fatal fall.
12:26I smell the blood of a scumblebum.
12:31Well, tickle my toes with a tree trunk.
12:34It's a dwarf.
12:36Don't like dwarves.
12:40Dwarves its rocks with embers.
12:43Makes an awful din.
12:46What's your name, dwarf?
12:49Helen.
12:51Oh, so huge and human is you.
12:55Why are you sneaking up on I?
13:00Trouble with humans
13:04is humans makes I sneeze.
13:08And when I sneezes,
13:12I dead some.
13:14You know a cure for sneezing, human.
13:18You tell I.
13:20Now.
13:21Hold your nose.
13:23Tell him hold your nose.
13:24Hold your nose.
13:27Oh, that's nice.
13:31That's good.
13:35Humans is sometimes useful.
13:39Off you go then.
13:41Walk forward.
13:42And if you see any dwarves.
13:44Stop.
13:45You tell them they's not welcome.
13:48Turn to your left.
13:50No, turn to your right.
13:53Walk forward.
13:54Stop.
13:55Turn to your right a bit more.
13:57Now walk forward.
14:01Where am I?
14:03You're on the edge of a chasm.
14:05It looks like.
14:08Who's there?
14:10Helen.
14:11Helen!
14:12You're an intruder.
14:14I'm not feeling well.
14:16And when I am unwell,
14:18I never receive visitors.
14:22Unless, however,
14:25you have come to comfort me in my convalescence,
14:28then I assume you to be bearing some suitable gift.
14:34Have you a gift?
14:36I have flowers.
14:39Flowers!
14:40How kind.
14:42How kind.
14:43Lilith will receive you
14:45if I have the strength to summon the causeway.
14:50Rock to rock and stone to stone.
14:54Spam the pit and cross the zone.
14:58Oh, I managed it.
15:01Oh, come over here.
15:04Your friends will guide you.
15:06Yeah.
15:07Yeah.
15:08Walk straight ahead.
15:13Turn.
15:15No, it's all right.
15:16Stay there.
15:17A little nearer, please, Helen.
15:19One more step.
15:21Oh.
15:22Pass up the flowers.
15:24Hold them up.
15:27How kind.
15:29Turn right.
15:29Turn right.
15:30Oh, wait a moment, Helen.
15:33I would ask you to stay
15:35and have a grape or something,
15:37but as I explained,
15:39I am not quite feeling up to colour.
15:42I will, however, reward you
15:45with some minor magic.
15:47I will gift you a spell.
15:50It is called the Well Spell.
15:54And as any fool knows,
15:55you cast it by spelling.
15:57Oh, me.
15:59Oh, I wish I were well.
16:02Oh, see yourself out
16:04through the serpent's mouth.
16:08Oh, visitors are so tiring.
16:12Take a step to your right.
16:14Walk straight on.
16:16Stop.
16:17Turn to the left.
16:19More to the left.
16:22More again.
16:24Right, take a step forward.
16:26Well, turn to your right.
16:28Carry on forward.
16:29Now forward.
16:31Where am I?
16:32You're in a room,
16:33sort of a corridor with four doors.
16:36And on your left and right.
16:37Warning, team.
16:38Team with one more correct riddle
16:40and you would have known
16:41which way to go.
16:42Now you've got to guess.
16:44And guess quickly.
16:45Life force energy low.
16:48Turn left, Helen.
16:50Walk forward.
16:53Stop.
16:54Turn right.
16:55Walk forward.
16:59Turn left.
17:00Walk forward.
17:03Stop.
17:03Where am I?
17:04Helen, you appear to be
17:05in a rather large room
17:06with four doors.
17:08Two in front of you
17:09and two to each side.
17:10They all have got poor calluses.
17:12Problems, problems, team.
17:14You appear to have taken
17:16a wrong turning.
17:18Walk forward.
17:21Stop.
17:22Spell casting.
17:25W.
17:26E.
17:28L.
17:29L.
17:34Unfortunately, team,
17:36the well spell
17:38can only reveal a well.
17:40It can't create one.
17:43Oh, dear.
17:52Rotten luck.
17:54A 50-50 chance.
17:56But without the full reward
17:58from correct riddles,
17:59you turned left
18:00when right was right.
18:02Helen, of course,
18:04survives outside the dungeon.
18:05So now it's time
18:07for you to join her.
18:09Spell casting.
18:11D-I-S-M-I-S-S.
18:18Farewell, Helen, Claire,
18:20John, Paul, and Anthony.
18:21Take those scrolls.
18:23We've earned them.
18:24You kept your wits,
18:25but it was luck
18:26that deserted you.
18:28Farewell.
18:35So much alas for the Welsh wizards.
18:38Let's find out who challenge is next.
18:41Enter, stranger.
18:45Who dares my dungeon?
18:48Richard Wood.
18:49Stand not on ceremony then.
18:51Call your advisors to us now.
18:54Jonathan, Paul, Edward.
18:56And name yourselves, please.
18:59Jonathan Morley,
19:00from Normanton,
19:01in West Yorkshire.
19:03Paul Knight,
19:04Ledsham, West Yorkshire.
19:06Edward Halliwell,
19:07Kipax, West Yorkshire.
19:09Well,
19:10now that we have the next team,
19:11we can commence.
19:12You will have read
19:13the rules of ritual
19:14and the Adventurer's Code,
19:16but first,
19:17for those who merely watch,
19:18a brief reminder.
19:19Here is the helmet of justice
19:22which blinds you
19:23to the way ahead.
19:24Here the knapsack
19:26for food
19:26to feed your life force.
19:28Two objects only
19:30may you carry
19:30if you discover
19:32objects on your quest.
19:33Choose cautiously
19:35and use the magic
19:36or the weapons
19:37of your enemy
19:37with care.
19:39A word of warning,
19:40the dungeon is obscure,
19:42so any knowledge
19:42of previous quests
19:43will be of little use.
19:46Well, Richard,
19:47your life force
19:48energy level
19:49is green
19:49and your spirits
19:50are high.
19:51The silver spurs
19:52of squiredom
19:53await your success.
19:55Once embarked,
19:56remember the only ways
19:58onward.
19:59There is no turning back.
20:01Well, Richard,
20:03are you still ready
20:04to enter the quest?
20:05Yes.
20:06Very well.
20:09Turn then,
20:11face the dungeon door
20:12and take a step
20:14forwards.
20:19Where am I?
20:21You're in a room
20:22and there's two exits,
20:24one on the left
20:24and one on the right.
20:27On the floor,
20:28there's like a small
20:30bridge shape.
20:32Ah,
20:33an unusual obstacle
20:34to encounter
20:35so early in the quest.
20:37However,
20:38not exactly difficult
20:39to surmount.
20:40First,
20:40use your eyes,
20:42then use your wits,
20:43then use your feet.
20:47If it walks
20:47over the bridge,
20:48it might make it
20:49with a cage
20:49where it looks at.
20:50Yes, it walks over there.
20:52could you walk
20:53forward?
20:54Two pieces forward.
20:55Until we say stop.
21:00Stop.
21:01That's it.
21:02Just move your other foot
21:03to the other one.
21:04Move your...
21:05That's it.
21:06Now,
21:06could you turn left?
21:07Quarter.
21:09That's it.
21:10Now,
21:10could you walk forward?
21:14Stop.
21:16Say stop.
21:17Right.
21:18Could you turn
21:18to your right?
21:20That's it.
21:21That's it.
21:22And walk forward.
21:25Keep going.
21:28Keep going.
21:29Keep going.
21:30Right.
21:30Could you turn
21:31slightly left?
21:34Walk forward.
21:35Walk forward.
21:37Right,
21:38stop.
21:38You're about to
21:38step off the bridge.
21:40Turn right.
21:41A bit.
21:42A bit.
21:43Right.
21:44A bit.
21:45Right, stop.
21:46Right,
21:46walk forward.
21:50Just keep going.
21:51Keep going.
21:51Faster.
21:53All right now.
21:55Where am I?
21:56You're in a room.
21:57There's a bomb
21:58on your right,
21:59a key in front of you,
22:00another bomb
22:01in a doorway,
22:02and a goblet.
22:03Two goblets.
22:04Warning team,
22:05a complete temporal
22:06disruption approaching.
22:08Time is now
22:09the enemy.
22:12Oh dear,
22:13a temporal disruption
22:14complete.
22:16Time flies,
22:17as the Romans
22:18would say,
22:18and although all
22:19continues in your world,
22:22here time has flown.
22:24All adventuring
22:25must now cease
22:26until you phase
22:28with us once more.
22:29Will our team
22:31triumph in adversity,
22:33or will the dungeon
22:34win once more?
22:36And if so,
22:37why should you care?
22:39For here,
22:40nothing is real,
22:42and all must surely
22:43be an illusion.
22:45Join us again
22:47for Nightmare,
22:50and just keep
22:51telling yourself
22:52it's only a game,
22:55isn't it?
23:08After the break,
23:09Bruce's brain buzz
23:09kicks off
23:10with The Price is Right,
23:11followed by
23:12Play Your Car Drive
23:12at 8.30,
23:13so all you
23:14digital satellite viewers
23:15get ready to
23:15press the red button
23:16and play along
23:16absolutely free.
23:18Come on,
23:19What are you waiting for?