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00:04This is Zack's nightmare.
00:07If I was married to you, I'd cheat on you too.
00:10The way you're talking to her is making me feel very uncomfortable.
00:14I think I saw your uterus.
00:16Don't be scared you're going to end up like me, okay?
00:19Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:23This season on The Valley.
00:25My titties won't be here for long.
00:26The last little piece of Jack's gone.
00:28Here's the way my dip spilled on my titties.
00:32Kiss? Oh, no!
00:34Come on, baby.
00:35Wow, look at you guys building bars
00:36and then making them go out of business.
00:41I love you.
00:44Check, please.
00:45Who's going to kiss?
00:46Schwartz and Michelle.
00:48We could have a threesome tonight.
00:50Hold on, you're not officially divorced yet?
00:52Divorce me, please!
00:54Do it for me! I'm performative!
00:57She's performative?
01:00It's not allowed to be hard for both of us.
01:01It's only allowed to be hard for you.
01:03Because I don't you?
01:05You're not the only one going through this.
01:07I feel like if you're really critical,
01:08it's really hard for me to function.
01:09No, it's not.
01:10I feel very out of control.
01:11I freaking hate it.
01:12It's a lot for me.
01:14I'm afraid I'm going to lose you guys over this .
01:17You're going to blame Jesse over me.
01:18You're going to blame any of these motherfuckers over me.
01:20I'm so happy that we can be together and have a dream.
01:24Very emotionally mature.
01:25F*** you! F*** you!
01:26Oh, I lost the shoe. F*** you!
01:28He's a real Polly pocket-sized problem.
01:31F*** you!
01:32F*** everywhere!
01:33You're gonna to keep some steel tied on the power.
01:34I'm not buying it!
01:34I'm all right!
01:37You're all right!
01:40I'm all right!
01:40Everything's all right!
01:43Everything's all right!
01:46I'm all right!
01:52We've got some of the dollars,
01:55from and the way.
01:57We were Jakes and Collаствs
01:58and breaking plans.
02:03Everything is sun and shine, good times, nothing but blues.
02:07What do you want to wear?
02:09Yee!
02:10Hold on, we got to brush your teeth.
02:12Do you want to wear this?
02:14Dinosaurs, just like our bedroom.
02:16It is a brand new year and a brand new me.
02:19Things are so much better than the last time that you saw me.
02:22You got to let go, little shark.
02:25I mean, I'm really damn proud of myself.
02:28I am paying for everything.
02:29I'm doing everything physically.
02:31I'm there for my son every single day.
02:32Do you want an oatmeal bar?
02:34Yummy!
02:40It's not always easy.
02:43Jax and I are still not divorced.
02:45He still hasn't sent in all the paperwork,
02:47but I'm hoping within like six weeks it will happen.
02:51We got to go bye-bye.
02:53No, Cruz, no, this way.
02:55I'm finally putting myself first.
02:57I'm happy and it's about damn time.
03:01Goodness.
03:03Everything will sunshine, good times,
03:06not the red and blue skies.
03:08Makeups for you for a day, Jesus.
03:10Honey.
03:11I'm home.
03:12Why is there hair in this?
03:14I'm still in West Hollywood.
03:15I still haven't made the jump to the valley,
03:17and I don't think I ever will.
03:19I like your haircut.
03:20Thanks.
03:20That's cute.
03:21It's my K-pop era.
03:23The great part is my roommate's moving out,
03:26and Benji is soft moving in.
03:29I do need to do my GLP-1.
03:31I don't have to lie about how I lose weight,
03:33but he's so small, he doesn't take up much room.
03:35It's basically like I get triple the closet space
03:37because I'm dating Benji.
03:39Don't rub off too much of my spray tan.
03:42And I'm skinny again.
03:44Yay!
03:50Don't we have a step-line?
03:51We do, but I'm just being difficult.
03:54I think it's the other way.
03:55There we go.
03:55Melissa and I are still living together.
03:57We moved into a new place in Sherman Oaks.
03:59I can't believe that I'm living in the valley.
04:01Like, we're actually getting married.
04:03I love it.
04:03I'm excited.
04:04I still have our tracker of things to do.
04:06We're supposed to have a lot more done at this point.
04:09I know.
04:09I'm a little laid back, bride, okay?
04:11I would say I'm just kind of go with the flow.
04:14I'm just kind of going with the flow.
04:14I'm about to get married.
04:16I know.
04:17It's so wild.
04:17It's going to be black tie.
04:18No kids.
04:19There's going to be sushi.
04:20There's going to be, like, a carving station.
04:21They have this whole beautiful, it's simple, pretty.
04:24I don't want anybody rolling up there with a hot pink dress.
04:26I will literally stop the wedding and escort you out.
04:30You're super laid back about it.
04:31Yeah.
04:32I am laid back.
04:34Jessie wants to marry us.
04:36He wants to be our officiant.
04:37Yes!
04:45Before Dot comes, let's sage the house.
04:48Good energy.
04:49Get all the bad vibes.
04:50I'm sorry.
04:51Come on.
04:52I have my own place again, and I'm, like, truly, truly single.
04:56Erin and I didn't work out.
04:58Have you ever been broken up with before?
05:00Actually, it's the first time anyone has ever broken up with me.
05:03I usually do the breaking up.
05:06Good vibes only.
05:12Hi, honey bunny.
05:15Wait.
05:16Okay, come.
05:16She has a lot of energy.
05:18Apparently.
05:19Jessie and I split Isabella.
05:21We switch weekends.
05:22When will the divorce be finalized?
05:24I wish it was finalized two years ago when I first asked for a divorce,
05:28but he just always has an excuse of why he can't sign the paperwork.
05:33Let's do it, you two.
05:35All right.
05:35Ready?
05:38Michelle, for some reason, thinks everything I do is strategic.
05:42Trust me, I want to get divorced.
05:43It just hasn't happened yet.
05:45Simple.
05:46You're cheating.
05:47I'm not cheating.
05:48So easy.
05:49Moving on up, moving on up, moving on up right now.
05:57I love you, Santa Clarita!
06:00Santa Clarita!
06:01Santa Clarita!
06:04How many mountains is that?
06:06Is that Bucco Mountain?
06:07Mm-hmm.
06:07Santa Clarita is heaven.
06:09It's our mountain.
06:11There's a smile.
06:13Lord have mercy.
06:14We got a new baby.
06:15Baby Adelaide, our number four.
06:18Hi, happy girl.
06:19We've taken the deep dive off into like the middle of nowhere.
06:23I almost had a baby in the car, thanks to the Santa Clarita move.
06:27It took an hour to get to the hospital because we were so far away from our L.A. hospital.
06:31I do miss being closer to everything.
06:35Hey, baby girls!
06:36Hello!
06:37Yay!
06:38Yay!
06:47Do you want a bottle?
06:49Buy this.
06:50Not feeling it?
06:51You don't know what you want.
06:53We don't know either.
06:54Luke and I are still engaged and I've had a whole baby.
06:59She's exactly what I manifested.
07:01Blonde hair, blue eyes, looks nothing like me.
07:03My genetics did not try.
07:05There we go.
07:06You think the blowouts are because she's laying down or because the diaper's too small?
07:10There'll be like nothing in the front and all the way up her back.
07:13The biggest change in me since Kaya, I'm way less grossed out by poop than I used to be.
07:19That's a good thing, I guess.
07:20Is it a good thing to be more comfortable with feces on your hands?
07:24Do you feel well rested?
07:26How are you feeling otherwise?
07:26I don't know.
07:27It's like I told you the other day.
07:28I'm really good at being her mom.
07:29I just don't know how to be anything else.
07:31I just don't know how to be, like, a woman.
07:34You know what I mean?
07:36I think...
07:37Not being the best partner.
07:38If we get a good nanny, everything else will, like, ease up.
07:43Kaya is our whole world.
07:46We don't have time for anything else.
07:48We don't have time for ourselves and we definitely don't have time for each other.
07:52One of us has been with her every minute of every day so far.
07:55I know you feel like we don't have a relationship.
07:57I didn't say that.
07:58There's definitely certain areas that are lacking that maybe weren't a year ago.
08:03I miss having sex.
08:04Like, I love Kristen.
08:06She's smoking hot.
08:07Like, come on.
08:08Lay it on me.
08:09I'm gonna try harder with all of that normalcy.
08:13Just takes time.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Baby steps to get back to feeling like yourself.
08:18Cause I don't know.
08:19It's the first time I've done this too.
08:21Yeah.
08:22Yeah.
08:22But we have this sip and see coming up.
08:24So.
08:25Yeah.
08:26That'll be a little different.
08:27I know it's like the whole point is hard, but it's overwhelming for me.
08:32Nia and I are throwing a sip and see together because our girls are only six days apart.
08:36But I'm still so incredibly overwhelmed.
08:40I mean, like, I haven't really left the house more than once since I had a baby.
08:48She's sleeping.
08:58I need to get Kristen a gift.
09:00What about this?
09:00How cute is that?
09:02Kristen would love the dogs, wouldn't she?
09:03I feel like this tie-dye one's cute too.
09:05I feel like I could see her in that.
09:07I love a beige.
09:08Yeah.
09:08Love a babe in beige.
09:09I've known Kristen for a long time.
09:13She and I definitely have gone toes.
09:16I'm the one person, babe, you don't want to go there with.
09:20I'm really scared.
09:21Sit the down.
09:24But she fights hard.
09:26She loves hard.
09:27She's very much my type of chick.
09:29Is it awkward that I'm like having you help me?
09:32No.
09:32I love all babies.
09:33So, like, I want you to get them something cute.
09:36And I'm honestly glad that I wasn't invited and put in the position where I have to not go.
09:41Yeah.
09:42Last summer was a good lesson for me.
09:44I feel like she wants to stir the pot.
09:47If your husband's going to a public bar getting blacked out and making women uncomfortable, it's gonna get talked about.
09:52I said out loud, yes, that he sexually assaulted Jasmine.
09:56Hi.
09:56I'll throw her off the .
09:58It's been important to me to get in therapy, to work on myself, reflect on how I can be better
10:03and not have so much pain and drama in the group.
10:06Nia blocked me on everything.
10:08She's made it pretty clear, like, she wants me to shut my mouth and, like, move on.
10:13So I also feel like Nia would rather paint me as a liar when she knows I'm not than to
10:18recognize the truth about what's happening with her husband.
10:20Do you think you could say, I'm sorry that I went in so hard. It was not my place?
10:27I mean, the only people coming to the Sip and See are, like, very close friends. It's not a ton
10:31of people.
10:32Like, Janet, Jason, there's been no communication whatsoever.
10:34Which, I mean, like, how can a friendship, like, repair when there's zero communication over the course of a year?
10:39Nope. She's on too many of my friends.
10:41Yeah.
10:42She kind of just doesn't exist to me.
10:44The only time I've seen her for even a millisecond in the last year has been at Brittany's house.
10:53That interaction at Brittany's was not great.
10:55So I was like, it went from, oh, Kristen has a baby on her boob to,
10:58Ah, Kristen has a baby on her boob.
11:00Get me out of here as quick as I can.
11:02Brittany had a pool party that she was going to invite all the kids over for.
11:06I'm like, okay, if Kristen's there, she's probably going to have a newborn with her.
11:09She's going to be sticking inside in the air conditioning.
11:11We'll get there. We'll change. We'll go in the pool.
11:13It probably won't even be that big of an issue.
11:15Brittany told me that Janet was 99% not going to come, especially if she knew I was going to
11:21be there.
11:21She was probably going to cancel and I shouldn't even worry about it.
11:25And next thing I know, Janet shows up.
11:28Kristen's, Brittany, why is she here? She doesn't deserve to be here.
11:32Took me a second to be like, oh, is she talking about me?
11:35Not doing it today.
11:36Not in front of my kid.
11:37No.
11:37My entire being told me like, just leave, get out of here.
11:40So I just scooped Cam, grabbed our bag and turned around and walked away.
11:44Good. I love that for you.
11:46Did Brittany step in when that happened or no?
11:48She didn't say anything.
11:49And then afterwards I was like, I texted her and I was just like, what the ****?
11:53Like, you invite me over with my kid and then that happens.
11:57You can't say like, hey, stop it.
12:00We're talking about friendships that have been decades long.
12:05Of course, when you have history with someone, there's going to be good **** and bad ****.
12:09Let's focus on the good ****.
12:11It's a tough situation.
12:12I want peace, but I don't want to stir stuff up and then have it be a big dramatic thing.
12:18Yeah.
12:18I'm trying to have fun.
12:19Totally.
12:19I've been chilling for two years, playing mom, covered in spit up.
12:24And I want everyone to **** get along.
12:26Congratulations on your baby.
12:28Where are you at with Janet?
12:29Do you remember her?
12:31Coming up.
12:33He wants to have sex all the time.
12:34I also hate my body right now.
12:36She shuts down every advance.
12:37At what point do you stop trying, kind of thing.
12:42Make me feel the eye, eye, eye, eye.
12:45Stop them and losing all my mind, mind, mind, yeah.
12:50I'm sure my boobies are good.
12:55Hey.
12:56Honey.
12:57What are you doing?
12:58I was just unpacking a little bit.
13:00I miss you.
13:02I miss you too.
13:03Aw.
13:03Five days in Cabo together and you're not tired of me yet?
13:06No.
13:07I probably could have done at least like three more days.
13:09No.
13:10I am definitely getting my sparkle back.
13:14I met Brandon in Kentucky.
13:16I was probably like 22 at the most.
13:19And we instantly clicked.
13:21And eventually it turned into like a romantic thing.
13:24But the timing just wasn't right.
13:25And it had been like 13 years since we've seen each other.
13:29I'm like burning up.
13:31So sunburn.
13:31Burnt to a crisp.
13:32Burnt to a crisp.
13:34Yeah.
13:34Me and Brandon are so great together.
13:37He tells me how beautiful I am every day.
13:39He lives in California about three hours away.
13:42We're like actually best friends.
13:44And he just makes me feel really good.
13:46So what else is going on?
13:47Nothing.
13:48Just hanging out the house.
13:49Crazy's asleep.
13:50It's funny because the first time he came to visit,
13:52I was like, you can sleep in my guest room.
13:54Like I didn't know if the spark was going to be the same.
13:57He slept in my guest room, but I slept in there with him.
14:02When are you going to be back?
14:03I guess Thursday.
14:05OK, Thursday.
14:06I just want everybody to meet you.
14:07I feel like I don't have a problem
14:09to get along with everybody, you know.
14:10Well, you won't.
14:11Of course not.
14:12You're a nice guy.
14:13I guess.
14:15You can.
14:27You're so entertaining.
14:28But who's to be complaining?
14:30You're such a dud.
14:33Woof.
14:34Got cooler in here.
14:35Feels good.
14:39Whoa.
14:40Hey.
14:41Don't touch my love handles.
14:43What are you up to?
14:44Hi.
14:44Oh my God, how are you?
14:45What's going on?
14:46Why are you so sweaty?
14:48What's going on?
14:49Let me look at you.
14:51You look super lean.
14:52You look svelte.
14:55You got to reciprocate the compliment.
14:57I'm sorry.
14:58You look so good, too.
15:00You look great, too.
15:01But I want to level up a little more.
15:02You know, sometimes when you're depressed, you put on weight.
15:04After the bar closed, I think I put on a happy 15 pounds.
15:07I also feel like you, especially after a bar, you needed a break.
15:11Just, like, wore you down.
15:13I was floundering, man.
15:16Oh, man.
15:18My life kind of fell apart at the seams.
15:21So after 12 years together and five years of marriage, I went to Tom last winter and asked him for
15:31a divorce.
15:32Divorced.
15:33Just hemorrhaging money.
15:34She laid it all out and it made perfect sense.
15:37I can't probably give you the specifics because I was so upset.
15:41I wasn't really listening.
15:43But also, I don't want to ask her again because one of the reasons she broke up with me is
15:46because I'm not a good listener.
15:47I lost all my harmony and my zest.
15:49I lost my shorts.
15:50Yeah.
15:51I think it's back.
15:52I feel like a brand new me.
15:53I don't know exactly how to articulate it, but I just feel like I got my sparkle.
15:58Can I steal Britney's line?
16:00I feel like I got my sparkle back.
16:01I'm happy it happened on some level.
16:03I know that's up because I lost a lot of money, but it just made me a better person.
16:08It gave me grits.
16:08It gave me, like, chutzpah.
16:10I've known Tom since the day I moved to LA.
16:13He is one of the kindest, gentlest, most fun people that I've ever met.
16:19You got stuck in, like, a really bad situation.
16:22Yeah.
16:22Now you're to the point where you're ready to, like, thrive instead of just, like, survive.
16:26That's exactly it.
16:28Oh, my God. That's so good.
16:29Hey, cheers, by the way.
16:30Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to take it before you. Cheers.
16:32Oh, it's okay.
16:33Well, I saw that Britney was in Cabo.
16:35Brandon was there, too.
16:36She looks so happy.
16:38Listen, I'm glad she's happy, but I don't know.
16:40I just worry because it's, like, she's so vulnerable right now.
16:43She's still healing.
16:44She's looking for validation.
16:45He said I love you so fast.
16:48It's, like, it's moving far too fast, but if you don't put in the work on yourself to then see
16:53these red flags, you are going to fall for them again.
16:57I think you should seriously consider doing a little master dating.
17:01Masturdating is essentially just taking yourself out for a night in the town, showing yourself a little love.
17:08You have to just build yourself up in the field of Britney's dreams.
17:14If she builds it, he will come, and then she will come.
17:21I'm, like, scared she's going far too fast.
17:23Yeah.
17:24I'm already going in cautiously, and I want her to be just as cautious, and I feel like she might
17:29not be.
17:29Yeah.
17:30But you and Benji are strong.
17:32The love is strong.
17:33We're still figuring out his visa, which is such a nightmare.
17:37He's Canadian.
17:37Yeah.
17:38Yeah.
17:38We've set up our relationship where we have an open relationship.
17:41Oh, this is interesting.
17:42Like, that's the thing is, like, sex and love are different.
17:44We far too often fake it like, oh, sex is all about making a baby.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Bull .
17:49Then why is your prostate in your butthole, okay?
17:52Jesus knew what he was doing when he put that up there.
17:56Coming up.
17:57I laughed in tears.
17:59If I can make things better, I will.
18:01You could have said, Kristen, this isn't the time or place.
18:02Not at my house.
18:13Hello.
18:15Hi.
18:16I'm going to do the BLT.
18:20Ugh.
18:21Oh, the crazy hair, girl.
18:24Okay.
18:25All right.
18:26Let's see where Kristen is at.
18:29Oh, sorry.
18:32Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
18:33You lost it.
18:36There you go.
18:41Hey, girl.
18:42Hey, hey.
18:44Hello.
18:44I'm going over.
18:45Stroller parking and everything.
18:48Shh.
18:49I'm like, okay, let me drag you out of the house while you need a bottle and a nap.
18:53We're three blocks from home and we may as well be in a foreign country because that's
18:57how stressful this is.
18:58Don't you have like fun mimosa type thing with like, okay.
19:02We got like a very bellini.
19:04I'll do that.
19:04I mean, the first time I left the house after giving birth, I went to a grocery store and
19:09people weren't nice to me anymore because I wasn't pregnant.
19:17Like no one held the door open for me.
19:19No one was like, oh my God, your belly's so cute.
19:21They just walked right by me like I was just some piece of and it was awful.
19:25Shh.
19:26It's so tired.
19:26Okay, girlfriend.
19:28Can you just hang out for a minute?
19:30Where'd you end up with breastfeeding and all that?
19:32I just had like, thank you.
19:34I just had like nothing left.
19:35I was barely giving her a bottle a day.
19:37Yeah.
19:37Like even trying to pump twice a day.
19:40Yeah.
19:40It just sucked.
19:41I'm fine being at home and wearing like sweats and a bra but then when I have to leave the
19:45house, I'm like.
19:46Have you guys gotten a date night?
19:48Uh-uh.
19:49You're almost three months in.
19:50You need a date night.
19:53Don't go down, shake it up.
19:54Yeah.
19:56Pull the trigger, let your animal out.
19:57Don't you wanna feel the rush?
19:59Rush.
20:00I wanna show you what I'm talking about.
20:02Get a little taste.
20:03Used to always play the same.
20:05Baby, aren't you sick of feeling these?
20:06Baby, let me live.
20:08Come in.
20:09What's up, man?
20:10Rush, how you doing?
20:11Good, how are you?
20:12Good.
20:12Tired.
20:14Yeah?
20:14It's not Kaya's fault last night though.
20:16Really?
20:17I went out.
20:18Ah.
20:19Yeah.
20:20Kristen wasn't thrilled about me going out last night but really.
20:23It's alright.
20:24I've been pushing her to go out so I can then go out more.
20:27Right.
20:28How's Lacey doing?
20:29She's good.
20:29She was up the last two weekends and her daughter and Isabel, the two of them are like little
20:34sisters and they're starting to fight like little sisters.
20:37The girlfriend from Orange County can now be named.
20:40Her name is Lacey.
20:42She's incredibly intelligent, incredibly passionate.
20:46We spend a lot of time together.
20:48Our kids are really close and it's been incredible.
20:52So things are great with Lacey.
20:55How are things between Michelle and Lacey?
20:58Michelle has said over and over again that she like doesn't want any communication.
21:02But last summer I asked Michelle to reach out to Lacey before the Yamashiro party.
21:09Just call and like, you know, put your cards on the table and just move forward so that we can
21:15all move on and Michelle wanted no part of it.
21:18She was this close to coming.
21:20If Michelle had called she'd be here right now.
21:22It is not my responsibility to call your girlfriend.
21:26Well, it would have helped me but you guys don't give a .
21:29What?
21:29We need to sort of start to create this like modern family situation.
21:33Lacey reached out to Michelle when we first started dating.
21:36She wanted to know if Michelle had any boundaries and Michelle didn't take it the right way.
21:43I don't know where that's going to go to be honest with you.
21:46Michelle has made no effort and she wants nothing to do with this woman that spends half the week with
21:54her daughter.
21:54And it just doesn't make any logical sense to me whatsoever.
21:59How's everything going with the baby?
22:01She's great.
22:01First six weeks were really tough, honestly.
22:03Yeah, it's been kind of a tougher adjustment.
22:06I mean, the downtime will make you crazy, man.
22:09Kristen wants me around for support and doesn't like when I leave the house.
22:13You got some baby blues?
22:17I thought of it like that.
22:19I don't know.
22:20I got to dive into my feelings a little more, huh?
22:22The therapy session, Dr. Jesse.
22:24I remember when I was a new dad, it is a huge shift.
22:27It's like, hey, you want to meet up for a drink?
22:30I called six nannies.
22:32They're not available.
22:33It's difficult mentally.
22:34In that first year, it's definitely, it's a change.
22:38I mean, I had Isabella when I was 40.
22:41So at 33, I was still out and about around town.
22:45So I can't imagine the transition at that age to this new world of responsibility.
22:52Lay it on me. I've been there.
22:54Our relationship is completely lacking intimacy.
22:58Which is to be expected.
22:59That's tough.
23:00Right.
23:00To some degree, I guess.
23:01It should be something that we should be able to talk about.
23:03We haven't really...
23:06Like, how is Luke dealing with what you're experiencing?
23:10He gets it as well as he can't get it, you know?
23:13Yeah. Yeah.
23:13But he's like...
23:14Yeah.
23:15We're still in a relationship.
23:16Yeah.
23:17Can we try to have sex?
23:18Can we do this?
23:19Like, you're cleared for that.
23:20I also hate my body right now.
23:23She shuts down every advance.
23:25At what point do you stop trying?
23:26I know in my experience that I would have rather have had hard conversations because frustration turns to resentment very
23:34quickly.
23:34He wants to have sex all the time and he's like, well, I love your body.
23:38I'm like, I like that your boobs are bigger and I like that you have a butt.
23:40And I'm like, that's really nice.
23:42Thanks, butt.
23:43I know.
23:43Yeah, exactly.
23:44We've always had a really healthy sex life and it was just pretty regular.
23:49But sex made a baby and now sex doesn't exist.
23:51I just need time.
23:53Like, I'm attached to her.
23:54She's attached to me.
23:56I think my natural defense mechanism to frustrations or whatever is just like basically kind of turning off emotions.
24:03Basically, we're going to sweep everything under the rug until it hardens into cement and we've got a permanent issue
24:07that we can't get rid of.
24:13Coming up.
24:14Is he your boyfriend officially?
24:26Can I tell you something gross?
24:27Always.
24:28I love gross.
24:29When I was pregnant, I got a skin tag on my gooch.
24:31You know, like the area in between your, do you know what a gooch is?
24:34No.
24:34The area between your vagina and your butthole.
24:37And I have a skin tag down there and I want it removed so bad.
24:40Oh, it's still there?
24:41It's still there.
24:42Oh, I have the best guy ever.
24:44It has to be a dermatologist.
24:45I want to be like, all right, where's the skin tag removing?
24:47And I'm like, hold on.
24:48I got to take all my clothes off and bend over and spread it.
24:50You have to shave your brush though beforehand.
24:52Oh my God.
24:53You must.
24:56Hi.
24:57This is dangerous how close you are to these margaritas.
25:01Hello, señoritas.
25:02How are you tonight?
25:03Hi.
25:03All of you are over 21?
25:05Yes.
25:05Yes.
25:06Very.
25:07Hello.
25:08Here's the skinny margarita.
25:09Let the danger begin.
25:12Hi.
25:13Your hair is so thick.
25:15Oh my God.
25:15I haven't seen how tan you are and how blonde.
25:19I know.
25:19This is your housewarming present.
25:21I was like, is this our bottle service?
25:23I love it.
25:23But you don't look at everything.
25:26I know, I come over and she's like, let me make you a margarita.
25:28Oh my gosh.
25:29Hi.
25:29I miss you.
25:30How was your trip?
25:31I know.
25:31That's a big deal to go to Cabo with him.
25:34I know.
25:34We just spent five days in Cabo together and didn't drive each other crazy.
25:38Like, is he your boyfriend officially?
25:47No, he's not.
25:49I won't say yes yet.
25:51He asked.
25:51Yeah.
25:52Already?
25:53Yeah.
25:55Brandon is like very emotionally stable and I'm like, I want to see.
25:59That's normal.
26:00You have no idea how sexy that is.
26:03Yeah.
26:05Brandon has a BDE.
26:10Yeah.
26:11He gives big dick energy because he's got a big one.
26:16It's personality and it's real.
26:19I'm so excited.
26:21Yeah.
26:22I really like him.
26:23He's a great person.
26:25But what if I got like bored?
26:27Because things were so like good and so nice and I'm used to chaos and trauma.
26:31Can I help you find a therapist?
26:33Yeah.
26:34I just got in therapy and it's so freeing to talk to somebody.
26:39You know, it's like an expert on life.
26:41Yeah.
26:41I'm trying to be happy this year.
26:43Hey, hey, hey.
26:44Me too.
26:44Yeah.
26:45So what's going on with you guys?
26:46I feel like I've been talking about myself for hours.
26:49Michelle, how are you feeling?
26:50Are you okay?
26:51I've never had somebody break up with me.
26:53Dumbass.
26:54How's Isabella doing with everything?
26:57When Erin and I broke up, she cried.
26:59Oh, man.
27:00She's like, why did you guys have to break up?
27:03And I felt really guilty.
27:05Well, you should not feel guilty.
27:06You did everything by the book like you should.
27:08I'm proud of you.
27:09I've tried, but it was kind of confusing because he was like out of nowhere.
27:14And he's like, he wants a fitness girl.
27:18I'm like, oh, my God.
27:20Oh, my God.
27:20I walk every day.
27:21I hike.
27:22I go to the gym.
27:23He's like, walking and hiking is not working out.
27:28It's called cardio with .
27:30Going to the gym four days a week isn't enough.
27:32What is that?
27:34She's not motivating.
27:35I'm over here dipping my face in cheese.
27:38She doesn't work out enough.
27:40By the way, the moment we broke up, all he started doing is following Instagram models.
27:47So can I unfollow him now?
27:49Please.
27:49I did.
27:50But you know what?
27:50You did your charity , now you're done.
27:53All right.
27:54Bye, bitch.
27:55That was easy.
27:58By the way, tomorrow, the sip and see is at like 11 AM.
28:02What time should I show up?
28:04I dare you to show up.
28:06No, no, no.
28:06I would never.
28:07This is a baby event.
28:09Just beautiful, perfect baby.
28:10No.
28:11Yeah.
28:11But the thing is, I also don't care that much to do that.
28:14I don't care to fight with Kristen.
28:16I wish her well.
28:17But I can only control my behavior and how Kristen behaved at your house was gross.
28:25That sucked.
28:26That was odd.
28:26She was like carrying her baby and yelling at the same time.
28:30And then like two seconds later, you were gone and I was like, what just happened?
28:34What made you not say something?
28:36Because I was shook.
28:38Obviously, I did not expect that was going to happen that day.
28:40No.
28:41But I thought everyone was going to be fine.
28:42And she that up.
28:44Me and Janet are so close.
28:46She's been a great friend to me, especially over everything I went through with Jax last
28:50year.
28:50I feel like that's definitely something that has made me feel bad because I want to stick
28:56up for my friends, but it's hard for me as the people pleaser I am and how much I hate
29:01conflict to get into the middle of everything.
29:04Cameron was bawling his eyes out and I had to strap him into his car seat after driving
29:09over saying, we're going to swim with Cruz, putting his chest out screaming and crying
29:14into the car.
29:15I left in tears.
29:18I cried all night too.
29:19If I can make things better, I will.
29:22You could have said Kristen, this isn't the time or place, not at my house.
29:25Like to walk into a party and have somebody be like, why is she here?
29:28She doesn't deserve to be here.
29:30I haven't felt like that since seventh grade.
29:34Like since the last time I felt like bullied.
29:37And I'm not going to continue just showing up places where I'm getting yelled at.
29:51Coming up.
29:52You're gorgeous.
29:54I still believe in love.
29:55I believe in love too.
29:56You do?
29:56That's sweet as hell.
29:57I don't know.
29:58I just feel like it could work for you.
29:59Maybe.
30:13Oh my goodness.
30:16Wow.
30:17Welcome.
30:19Hiya, Natalie.
30:21Great last sympathy.
30:23So beautiful.
30:24This is so pretty.
30:25This is awesome.
30:25And then we've got pasta appetizers.
30:27I'll take a mocktail for now.
30:29You know, you might need a shot after everybody arrives.
30:30Exactly.
30:31I'm excited for everybody to meet Adelaide.
30:34But I'm also excited to be in my old hood.
30:36Back to civilization.
30:38Oh, the valley.
30:39It feels good to be home.
30:42Thank you guys.
30:43It's so gorgeous.
30:45Yay.
30:45You look beautiful.
30:47Hey girl.
30:48How are you?
30:48You look beautiful.
30:51Good at Adelaide.
30:52So beautiful.
30:53It's brighter in the valley and it's hotter.
30:56Jeez.
30:57Maybe I'll do a rose.
30:58With the cotton candy?
31:00I feel like Marilyn Monroe in this dress.
31:05What the heck?
31:06You look like an angel.
31:07You look like Marilyn Monroe.
31:08I know.
31:08We need a little.
31:10Marilyn?
31:11Aw, cute.
31:14Where's Kristen?
31:15Hey, where's she at?
31:15You want a cocktail?
31:16Yes.
31:17Where's Kristen?
31:19Where's Kristen?
31:20Are you pooping again?
31:21I just have to brush my teeth.
31:22Oh my God.
31:24We're like really late.
31:29Hey.
31:30Oh my God.
31:31They're forever.
31:33Oh my goodness.
31:33I can't be having to see you yet.
31:35Yeah.
31:35My little nugget.
31:36Oh, she's a beauty queen.
31:37She's a sweet girl.
31:38Whenever she's ready, you know I will hold her.
31:39I know.
31:40I want a baby.
31:41Okay, well you need to get it together.
31:43Stop going to Vegas.
31:43We need to little Vegas parties.
31:45Hi girl.
31:45You look beautiful.
31:47You're too.
31:49Let me see.
31:49This is little Addie.
31:51Please tell me you're done.
31:52Are you done?
31:53I'm done, girl.
31:55I say four and a four.
31:57How about one more?
31:58You guys are more insane than I am.
31:59No.
32:00I wake up every day to Nia with a scissor if she's like it.
32:04I'm like, no!
32:05You're not ready!
32:08Her feet are getting a little sun.
32:10And her feet.
32:12Feet tan.
32:13Her feet tan.
32:14Yeah.
32:14We're so late.
32:15All right.
32:16We made it.
32:17Hi, guys!
32:17Hey, hey.
32:18We're here.
32:19Breathe, mama.
32:20Breathe.
32:22Congrats.
32:23Good.
32:23How are you?
32:25How was it today?
32:26Getting here was a lot.
32:28Yay!
32:30Cheers to you, daddy.
32:31Cheers.
32:32Cheers to us.
32:33Daddy Luke.
32:34I hate that word.
32:35Daddy Luke?
32:36Daddy's got a hot dog.
32:38He's so beautiful.
32:39Look at your dress.
32:42It's so pretty.
32:43Oh, don't you cry on me.
32:45Where's your pacifier?
32:48Don't cry on me.
32:50Okay, I'll walk you around.
32:51There's mommy.
32:52I said, please don't cry on me.
32:54Hi, sis.
32:56She's been just fine.
32:57That was her first little whale.
32:59She literally was fine until just the second.
33:02Michelle, do you want a drink?
33:03Sure.
33:05I'll do the baby shot.
33:06Okay, okay.
33:07Can I do a skinny marg?
33:08Skinny marg with a full tajim, please?
33:10So wait, Michelle.
33:12You ever seen how Stella got her groove back?
33:15No, I have.
33:16Not that your groove isn't back, but you're gorgeous.
33:20I'll take the compliments.
33:22Okay, yeah, yeah.
33:23Keep them coming.
33:23Keep them coming.
33:24Look.
33:24Tom and Michelle.
33:26Tom and Michelle Wallace.
33:27Yeah.
33:28I think we're on similar journeys.
33:30I'm trying to live.
33:31Trying to laugh.
33:33What is the movie?
33:34Eat, love, pray?
33:35Yes.
33:35That's what I'm trying to do.
33:36Yes.
33:36We are Julia Roberts right now.
33:38Cheers.
33:39I thought it would be cute.
33:41They're going to leave time now.
33:42I'm proud of your damn mind.
33:44Tom's very quirky and weird.
33:46He is.
33:47But you know, maybe that's what people need.
33:48Opposites attract.
33:49Yeah.
33:51Michelle is a fine French wine.
33:54Tom's a Jaeger bomb and a sports poker.
33:56I still believe in love.
33:57I believe in love, too.
33:58You do?
33:59That's sweet as hell.
34:00Even though I went through the nastiest divorce and somebody who broke up with me, I truly
34:05believe in love.
34:06I'm glad you're not jaded.
34:07I don't know what your type is.
34:08I don't know if I have a type.
34:10Okay.
34:10It's usually a chemistry thing.
34:12Good.
34:13I just said if they went and had food, that would be great.
34:16I saw that you went to a voter spot.
34:18That's my spot.
34:19I love it there, too.
34:21It's the best.
34:21Do you want to go to a voter spot?
34:22I'll go to a voter spot with you.
34:23I want to.
34:24We'll have a night out of the town.
34:25We'll do something.
34:26Anything spiritual.
34:27We'll do something.
34:28I need a spiritual awakening.
34:31Cheers to the beautiful baby.
34:33Yes.
34:33Cheers.
34:34She's a really good baby.
34:36Oh, look at the baby.
34:36She's really so sweet.
34:41Here we go.
34:43When I was shaving my face, I nicked my lip.
34:45Ooh.
34:46I didn't notice, but now I do.
34:48You're good.
34:48Great.
34:48Hi, boo.
34:50Hi.
34:51You're finally out and about.
34:52Thanks for coming.
34:54Oh.
34:54Great.
34:56Is that her?
34:57Yep.
34:58Uh.
34:59What the is she doing here?
35:01Nobody told me she was coming because she was like,
35:04I would never in my life know.
35:05How you doing, man?
35:06Good.
35:07Oh, my goodness.
35:08Oh, my goodness.
35:09I love babies.
35:11This is just not, it's not a common name.
35:13And she's not a common person, either.
35:15Oh, are we allowed to say her name this year?
35:17I love you.
35:18I love you.
35:21Lacey, her and I have had a very difficult relationship.
35:28I'm dealing with a person who thinks she knows everything
35:32and she wants everybody love her, I can tell.
35:35Just a reminder, this is the same woman
35:37who had her lawyer send me a cease and desist.
35:40She's constantly threatening to sue me.
35:43She was like, I'm going to send all of you guys cease and desist
35:46so you don't talk about me.
35:47I met Lacey's ex-boyfriend.
35:49I was like, oh, my God.
35:50She sent me a cease and desist.
35:52He's like, oh, I got one, too.
35:53Like, she throws them out to everyone.
35:55Like, she's a little insane.
35:57Not a banging body.
35:58I mean, so do you.
35:59She's just not my cup of tea.
36:07Hi, boys.
36:08I didn't say hi to you.
36:09How are you?
36:10Good.
36:10Good to see you.
36:11Good to see you.
36:12Hi.
36:13That looks very good right now.
36:15I can't believe you have a baby.
36:17Yeah.
36:18I have to tell you something that you may not think is funny,
36:20but I kind of thought it was funny.
36:22We were talking, me and my mom, and my mom goes,
36:25your baby kind of looks like Luke.
36:27My baby.
36:28Sosa.
36:29It's the blue eyes.
36:30And I was like, oh, no.
36:31He needed some extra money when he moved to LA.
36:35You know, when you were reading the profiles or whatever,
36:37I'm like, that could be me.
36:38Oh, , man.
36:39Could you imagine?
36:40Wait, did you donate sperm?
36:41Yeah.
36:45My senior year of college, I donated sperm to the same sperm
36:47bank that Lala used to conceive Sosa.
36:50Donor number one, you guys, he really has it all.
36:53He is tall at 6'2 with lean athletic build.
36:56I'm 6'2 in lean athletic build.
36:58Donor number three, y'all.
36:58His major was in accounting and finance.
37:01OK, so I have a degree in accounting and finance.
37:04One of his biggest passions in life is cooking.
37:06At the time, I might have been really into cooking.
37:08I don't know.
37:08My hobbies jump around.
37:10I don't know.
37:11I could be one or three.
37:12I could be all of them.
37:13Who knows?
37:13Hold on.
37:14Are you with me?
37:15I know.
37:15I was like, wait a second.
37:16He gave a deposit and then they just disappeared.
37:22I am shocked.
37:25I did not have on my bingo card that he would say,
37:28he's been a sperm donor at the same cryo bank I got Sosa from.
37:32Oh, my God.
37:33It does look like Luke.
37:35Like.
37:35Now Kristen is Sosa's stepmom.
37:39Oh, no.
37:40Luckily, you stuck around.
37:42I know you're really stuck.
37:43Oh, yeah.
37:43Not going anywhere.
37:47All right, baby girl.
37:48All right, baby girl.
37:54Kristen, can I grab your baby?
37:56Yes.
37:57She's...
37:58Oh, I see her right here.
37:59Going to single the baby.
38:04I'm going to say hi to Michelle.
38:08Okay.
38:12Hi.
38:13Hi.
38:13Something.
38:13Hi.
38:18I didn't even know you were coming.
38:21Oh.
38:22Nobody told me.
38:23Oh, at least it's like a nice ambiance with babies.
38:28Yeah.
38:29Well, less can go wrong.
38:31I know.
38:31It's a perfect little cute event.
38:33Well, I'm happy to see you.
38:34You do seem happy and like healthy and in a good place, so.
38:40I am.
38:41We're, as you know, in a much better place than we were last summer.
38:46I emphasize with that.
38:47Are you divorced?
38:48Yeah.
38:49I didn't know if you're officially divorced or I don't know anything about you.
38:53Oh.
38:56I'm divorced.
38:58Listen, I don't want to fight with any woman going through a divorce.
39:00We had a rough start, but...
39:03I know.
39:03I'm sorry.
39:04Michelle and Lacey, speaking is the best case scenario for all of us.
39:10You know, hopefully it's just the beginning of what could grow into Thanksgiving together.
39:17All I need is a divorce and I'm done.
39:19So ask him to sign.
39:21I'm team divorce.
39:21I made it very easy for him.
39:23I walk away with nothing, so.
39:27Yeah.
39:29I don't know the financials, but I'm just hoping you guys have good, healthy resolution.
39:37Lacey is now always with my friends and she's going to be at the parties I go to.
39:41Honestly, it sucks and I hate it.
39:45Everybody likes her now.
39:49I don't know.
39:50All right.
39:56I just had a long conversation.
39:58I saw you over there.
40:00I got nervous.
40:01I don't trust her.
40:03I've seen her be super nice and I've also seen her be super rude to me.
40:07Want something?
40:07Can we get a cocktail finally?
40:09Yeah.
40:10For sure.
40:10Last summer, leading up to my Zen party at Yamashiro, Jessie kept begging me to call Lacey
40:17and have conversations with her.
40:18And I just said, it's not the time and I don't want to have a conversation with this girl.
40:23She seems completely unstable, but she wants to portray that she's this like sophisticated girl.
40:30So this girl who says she would never film shows up to my Zen party when there's cameras everywhere.
40:38Oh, Lacey's here.
40:39Hi.
40:40Hi.
40:41No, Lacey.
40:42Come here.
40:43You guys are almost done.
40:44I'll wait like five minutes.
40:45I thought you were done.
40:46We're finishing at 10.30.
40:48I know.
40:49Oh, it's so sweet.
40:50Well, I didn't sign everything.
40:52I just can't touch her.
40:54When someone's like very unpredictable and chaotic, it makes me super nervous.
40:58Exactly.
40:58Don't fall for Lacey's bull .
41:00In front of your face, she'll be super nice and sweet.
41:03But behind closed doors, she's a bitch.
41:06She can't be a part of her party.
41:08She has an NDA.
41:09She can't film.
41:10Why did she come here?
41:11Yeah.
41:11Because we wrapped at 10.30.
41:13We're not wrapped.
41:14We're still filming.
41:15Not cool.
41:16Jeremiah, not cool.
41:19Jessie's chaotic.
41:20Lacey's chaotic.
41:21The two of them together are just insanity.
41:24She was just being bossy and telling me what to do and like how our friendship's gonna be.
41:28It doesn't really work that way.
41:30And by the end of the conversation, she was screaming at me.
41:32She's like, I have all the money in the world and I don't care.
41:34I will sue you and I will win.
41:36Jessie, Jessie, Jessie.
41:37No, no, no.
41:37I'm gonna go with her.
41:38Hey, guys.
41:39This is a .
41:48This fall is gonna be hard enough having to deal with Jessie dragging his feet with the
41:52divorce.
41:53Now I have this crazy girlfriend.
41:54There's only so much I can take before I snap.
41:57How did that go?
41:58It was fine.
42:00Maybe you're the problem.
42:04Next time on The Valley.
42:06It's my daughter's first birthday party.
42:08It looks amazing.
42:09You brought some delicious mocktails for us.
42:11Let's get a little drunky and maybe have a little bumpy.
42:14A little.
42:15An apology would be nice for like all the you called me.
42:18This friendship is dead.
42:19It's done.
42:20Like you're crazy.
42:21It just makes me want to cry thinking about it.
42:23It took me over two hours to get home.
42:25She's crying.
42:26I'm crying.
42:26We're both crying.
42:27I'm sorry.
42:28I think I'm just like on the verge of burnout.
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