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00:09THE END
00:10Spicy bum bum, shit is about to get real.
00:15My name is Daniel Petronievich.
00:17I'm an actor.
00:17Never seen the Milky Way or the lake.
00:20Titty caca.
00:21And I played a ton of blue collar jobs on TV.
00:24May the welding gods be with us?
00:26But I've always wondered, do I have what it takes to do it in real life?
00:31Well, we're about to find out, because this is Blue Collar.
00:48Everybody poops.
00:49And when you've got to go on the go, someone has to deal with it.
00:53Right now, I'm at Lampton Sanitation,
00:55a company that's been proudly puffing shit for over ten years.
00:59So I'm about to find out what it takes to get one of these plastic drones ready
01:03for some guy with a chili dog and bad timing.
01:13Hey, Sean?
01:14I am.
01:15Nice pussy.
01:16Thank you, Dan.
01:17I hear you're my new shit eater for the day.
01:19Oh, that's quite a term.
01:20Well, that's the business we're in.
01:22Okay.
01:22We've got a lot of units to clean up for the Brigden Rodeo.
01:26Tomorrow, it's a big event for us.
01:28And they've got to be pristine,
01:30almost like your sister or your mother are going to be in there.
01:33They'll be polished, like bloody porcelain.
01:35Goddamn diamond for my mother's ass.
01:37You know what?
01:38We've had guys last just an hour here.
01:41You're more than welcome to give this a try.
01:43Guarantee you one thing.
01:44What?
01:45I'll do my fucking best.
01:46Get suited up, and then go meet T-Cap in the yard.
01:55Oh, yeah.
02:00I am Terminator.
02:04How's it going?
02:04Good.
02:05How about yourself, Dan?
02:05Good.
02:06You T-Cap?
02:06I'm T-Cap.
02:07Okay, I'm the new guy.
02:08First things first, I'd probably take out those earplugs
02:11and put them in your nose.
02:12Well, at least I can hear you now.
02:13Yeah.
02:13You're out.
02:14What about the mask?
02:15If you can keep your mouth shut, then I'd take it off.
02:18Sweet.
02:19Good.
02:20Do I need these glasses?
02:21You need those glasses.
02:23All right.
02:23Don't want shit in your eyes.
02:24Nobody wants a case of pink eye.
02:26No.
02:26What we're doing is cleaning units for the rodeo.
02:29Okay.
02:30These have been sitting in the sun for a couple weeks,
02:32and I got one question to ask you.
02:35How's your gag reflex?
02:36That's a different show, I think.
02:38Is there shit all in there?
02:40Oh, there is more shit than you can imagine.
02:41That's exactly what I didn't want to hear.
02:43See how this unit is?
02:44That's first things first.
02:46First thing got a lot of noise.
02:46Speck out what it is.
02:47Oh!
02:48Oh, fuck.
02:50Ugh.
02:51People be shitting, man.
02:52But why the fuck is there so much shit?
02:54We're going to need to pump it.
02:56We're going to need to power wash it.
02:57We're going to need to restock it.
02:59Get it looking good for the rodeo.
03:01Giddy up.
03:01Grab the hose.
03:03Unravel it.
03:04Yes.
03:05Truck use a PTO system.
03:07Stands for power takeoff system.
03:08That's going to run the vacuum pump.
03:10Okay, so if ever you were, like, constipated or something,
03:13you just jam that thing up the old fucking cake maker
03:15and just suck her right out like an ostrich egg.
03:17Uh, that's got a lot of suction.
03:19That might blow out your rectum.
03:21I am the Turdinator.
03:23Let's see it.
03:25We're going in deep.
03:27Turdinator.
03:29Engage.
03:30Oh!
03:31Oh!
03:33She fights with you a little bit.
03:34Oh, God, it's thick at the bottom.
03:36It's like there was a layer of jello in it.
03:39Holy fuck!
03:40Yeah, got it all.
03:41There's beer cans in it!
03:43We're going to have to grab those out.
03:45Looks like there's a lot of good beer in there still.
03:53What am I spraying this with?
03:55Industrial grade cleaner.
03:56I might need this for my bum when I go home.
03:58Ah, it's going to burn.
04:00What do you say to people when they ask you what you do for a living?
04:03Suck out shitters, really.
04:05Fucking atta boy.
04:06Fucking integrity.
04:06Why fuck around?
04:07Yeah, no bullshit title.
04:09Sucks shit.
04:10Sucks shit, and that's what I do.
04:11You can too if you don't like it.
04:12Yeah.
04:16Some of it's stuck.
04:18Got to get closer.
04:19Oh, God.
04:20All right, really get in there.
04:22Oh, I got to go in it.
04:23Oh, yeah, we got to spray inside the toilet.
04:25Oh, for fuck!
04:26If you get wet, you get wet.
04:28I'm not getting covered in shit juice.
04:30That's the job, dude.
04:31The name of our game is cleanest port-a-potties in town, one rogue turd, and it's a one-star
04:37review.
04:39Oh!
04:40Oh, boy, you bastard.
04:43Oh!
04:49That's everything.
04:50Well, that was pretty easy.
04:51Well, it took you 30 minutes.
04:53Takes me seven minutes.
04:54We got 60 more to do.
04:5660.
04:57Word on the streets is TCAP and get one of these done in seven minutes.
05:00Took me a half an hour.
05:02I think with a little extra practice, I can definitely get it down to 29.59 minutes.
05:06On to the next one.
05:08I'll never be back.
05:14Look at the fucking door!
05:17How do you get shit on the door?
05:24I'm definitely going to need another glove.
05:31TCAP!
05:33Look at the wall.
05:35And the ceiling.
05:37Somebody exploded.
05:39Let's just burn this one for sure.
05:42TCAP, I can't take this shit anymore, okay?
05:44Let's play port-a-shitter roulette.
05:47I hide in one of these.
05:49If you pick the right one, you get to spray me,
05:51and I have to clean the rest of the 60 shitters.
05:53If you pick the wrong one, you don't get to spray me,
05:56and I don't have to do any of this shit.
05:58Okay?
05:59Deal?
06:00Deal.
06:01All right.
06:02Now turn your long-legged ass around.
06:04You'll never find me.
06:25One, two, three.
06:29Ha!
06:36What is going on here?
06:37Adam.
06:38Uh, it was his idea.
06:41No, it wasn't.
06:41It was totally mine, boss.
06:42I'm sorry.
06:43I fucked up.
06:44How many toilets you got cleaned up?
06:45Probably two.
06:45Show me.
06:46Fine, I will.
06:48We take a lot of pride in our reviews.
06:50I'm sure you do.
06:51And unfortunately, this is looking like a one-star toilet.
06:54My fuck.
06:55We got to get 60 units done for the rodeo, like, ASAP.
06:58So, uh, yeah.
06:59I think you're probably better served helping out Poop Inside.
07:03I do Poop Inside.
07:05Well, you got to go help out Poop Inside.
07:07So that's a person?
07:08Poop is a person.
07:11Poop-o-poop?
07:12He's a purple.
07:13He's a poop-o.
07:14Poop's a poop-o.
07:16All right.
07:18In actual fact, it is as hot as ass out here.
07:22I just wanted to get watered down.
07:24And it helped me out of duty-duty.
07:26So, it's pretty much a win-win.
07:32Oh!
07:32You're Dan?
07:33Yeah.
07:34I'm your new, uh, helping hand bitch.
07:36They call me Poop Around Here.
07:37What's the deal?
07:38That's your name?
07:39My last name's Poop Hard.
07:40Your last name is Poop Hard.
07:42So, you shorten it up and call me Poop.
07:43Yes, sir, Mr. Poop.
07:45On any given day, I'm always repairing toilets.
07:47This one is at a customer's place.
07:49So, what's the scoop, Poop?
07:50Someone caught it on fire.
07:52Their ass blew it right out.
07:54Okay, we're going to go over here and fix this pink unit.
07:57Another thing we run into is people steal toilet seats.
07:59Apparently, they're like gold.
08:01Different strokes for different folks, you know?
08:03You ready to go to work, put a toilet seat on?
08:05Yes, sir.
08:05Okay, there's a new one in here for you.
08:07Has this thing been cleaned?
08:09Nope.
08:10Am I wearing gloves for this?
08:11Bare-hander, bud.
08:15This is shitty.
08:18Say hello to that here.
08:23Fuck!
08:24Poop!
08:25There's a fucking enormous piece of shit right here.
08:27Well, maybe next time when you clean it, you'll get it all.
08:33Give me strength.
08:34This is a tough job to get into.
08:35The smell, definitely the smell.
08:38But, you know, it grows on you.
08:40It's not too bad.
08:41It's completely rancid.
08:42Hurry up and screw, Dan.
08:44Every man screws at his own pace.
08:46Hey, Poop.
08:48What's the weirdest thing you ever found on one of these?
08:50I was doing a toilet down by the river there, and I found a big fish in it.
08:54I don't think it was alive.
08:55You think someone shit out a whole fish?
08:58Possibly.
08:59You ever find anything valuable?
09:00Cell phones, wallets.
09:02Cell phones and wallets?
09:03Purse.
09:04Mission accomplished.
09:05Give it a good wiggle test, because they take a lot of punishment.
09:11Good?
09:14I think it's all right, eh?
09:15Fucking guaranteed.
09:16Harder than stone.
09:17That's good.
09:18Mission complete.
09:21The fuck?
09:22Hey, new guy, I'm going on a septic run.
09:24You want to come?
09:25Fuck yeah.
09:25Let's go.
09:27Pump!
09:29I'm Daniel.
09:31Tyler.
09:31Nice to meet you.
09:32Nice to meet you.
09:33Where are we off to?
09:34We're going to do a septic pump-out.
09:37So people who live in the city are hooked up to a city sewage system, but here in the
09:41country, a lot of houses just have septic tanks.
09:45That's correct, yeah.
09:46Gotcha.
09:47And they've got to get sucked out?
09:48Sucked out every two to five years.
09:51How much is this truck when it's loaded?
09:53It holds 3,600 gallons of waste.
09:56Three households will fill this truck up.
09:58Right up.
09:59Yeah.
09:59What's the best part of your job, would you say, Tyler?
10:02I love interacting with the customers.
10:04Do you, really?
10:05Yeah.
10:05That's the best part of it.
10:06Best part.
10:08And what's the worst part of this job?
10:10Dealing with all the shit.
10:17All right, so we're here to clean out a septic tank.
10:19It hasn't been done in five years.
10:21I always like to have a look before we get started.
10:23Let's get these lids removed here.
10:26You never know what you're going to find either, so...
10:28Could be cornback rattlers.
10:30Watch out.
10:31This might be a dangerous job.
10:32Step back, sir.
10:33I'm a shit ninja.
10:37Hi-ya!
10:39Hi-ya!
10:42The stink!
10:43Hi-ya!
10:44Come on!
10:46Oh, shit.
10:47Easy, easy now.
10:51There we go.
10:52Pissed me.
10:53Ew, fuck.
10:53It just looks like a big, horrible mess of fucking awfulness.
10:57It's disgusting.
10:58It is liquefied poo.
11:00Oh, that one's heavier.
11:02Easy.
11:03Oh!
11:04Oh, there's shit in there.
11:06So the difference between these two tanks is this is your solid side.
11:10Yeah?
11:10This is your liquid side.
11:12When you flush your toilet, it goes into your solid side.
11:14Okay.
11:14Breaks down a liquid, goes your liquid side, and then goes out to the weeping bed.
11:18I believe the technical term is affluent.
11:20You know your shit.
11:21That looks like a shit pizza from hell.
11:24Oh, daddy.
11:26What are we doing with this?
11:27We're going to make a poop smoothie.
11:28This is the poo pulverizer.
11:30Why are we busting up all the poop?
11:31To break up all the hard crust there, it's easier to pump out for us.
11:36This is disgusting.
11:38Oh, fuck this in fucking ass.
11:42Oh!
11:44It's getting splashy.
11:46That looks good.
11:46Yeah?
11:49That was remarkable.
11:51One of the best poo smoothies I've ever seen.
11:52Good job.
11:54I feel pretty good about being told to make a good shit smoothie.
11:57I've never made one before.
11:58It's time to start sucking.
12:09Am I running the turbo sucker?
12:11Go for it.
12:13Jeez, those jerks.
12:15She'll throw you around.
12:17It's like it's got a mind of its own.
12:20What's something you should never flush down your toilet in a septic tank?
12:23Grease and condoms.
12:25Anything else?
12:25Paper towel, rags, dildos.
12:29Dildos.
12:29Pocket pussies.
12:30Any sex toy, really.
12:34There's still a little bit of shit in here.
12:37You always want to leave a little bit of shit in the tanks.
12:40Why?
12:40It helps restart the whole system.
12:42So you need some shit in the bottom to restart the bacterial.
12:45Some people put in roadkill, raccoon, squirrels, rabbit.
12:49Dead things.
12:50It helps restart your system.
12:52Wow.
12:52Yeah.
12:53There you go.
12:54We're done?
12:54Let's get the lids back on.
12:55And ultimately, this was a success.
12:58I didn't get covered in shit.
12:59And I just really didn't want to get it in my face or mouth or eyes or even in my
13:04beautiful
13:05mullet, which I believe is shit free at the moment.
13:12Well, there's tons of ways to stay and have it as shit.
13:15Want to have it as shit off?
13:17Sure.
13:18A hot steamer.
13:19I'm going to go drop the kids off to the pool.
13:20Pushing out a corn back rattling.
13:22Making a mud pie?
13:23Having a hot Carl.
13:25Well, that's maybe not that.
13:26I think that's when you have a shit on someone's chest.
13:37Nice of you guys to show up.
13:39Adam, just fucking yelling at us.
13:40We got work.
13:42We got toilets to load up.
13:43Come on.
13:44Let's get a move on.
13:44All these toilets got to get on this trailer for tomorrow morning for the rodeo.
13:48Fucking all of them?
13:49All of them.
13:50Let's go.
13:50Come on.
13:51Get a move on.
13:52I've got to get to work.
13:53So if I don't get it done, I'm not going to have enough time to prepare for my big surprise
13:56for them at the rodeo.
13:59And ooh, daddy's got a good one.
14:03Rider up.
14:05Money.
14:05Let's go.
14:06Keep a move on.
14:07We got deadlines to meet.
14:08And what are you doing?
14:09Safety watch.
14:09What the fuck is this bullshit?
14:12How much of these shitboxes weigh?
14:14Without anything in it, they weigh 70 pounds.
14:17It is a little bit harder at the end of it.
14:19Yeah, the last few, I definitely feel like they weigh a little more than 70 pounds.
14:24There's a shit ton of shit moving.
14:28Ready for a cowboy's ass.
14:30That's a loaded trailer.
14:31Everything loaded, boys?
14:32Everything loaded up.
14:33Rodeo weighs for nobody.
14:35Let's go.
14:35Let's get it all locked up.
14:36Let's get out of here.
14:37Exactly.
14:38How do you think I did?
14:40Scale of one to ten.
14:41You're definitely a number two.
14:42So you're saying I'm the shit?
14:44You are the shit.
14:47Let's go, boys.
14:48I'm the shit.
14:49Let's go.
14:49Come on.
14:50I'm going to be a fucking PhD in shit.
14:52I got a feeling you already are.
14:54Already are.
15:01Yeehaw!
15:02The Porta Shitters are delivered.
15:04We're here at the Brigden Rodeo.
15:06All right, so we got the two right here, guys.
15:09Then there's going to be another five that's going to be pointing to the east on the fence line.
15:14That's going to be for the food vendors.
15:16Okay, guys?
15:17Yes, sir.
15:18Why?
15:19Why?
15:20These are all strategically placed where they're going to be a lot of different people, right?
15:25So the food...
15:27Why?
15:29That is where all the food is going to be, right?
15:32So you don't want to put the toilets far enough away that people might shit their pants, essentially.
15:37Oh, personally, I don't want to shit her right beside where I'm eating.
15:40Yeah.
15:41But you know what you're doing.
15:42I'll shut the fucking cornhole.
15:43Good luck with that.
15:44So we're going to be driving the truck.
15:46What?
15:47I'm just stretching, Sean.
15:49Oh.
15:49I mean, obviously.
15:50Yeah, obviously.
15:51Tone her down and pump the brakes a little bit.
15:53All right.
15:53Yeah, sure.
15:54We want to do this again next year.
15:55We've got to be bang on this year.
15:56All right, let's go, boys.
15:58Yeehaw!
16:04Holy fuck!
16:06Yah!
16:08The door's on the side.
16:10Ah!
16:10I fucked it all up!
16:12Dan's literally the slowest guy we've ever had as a new guy.
16:15If he just paid attention and focused on his work a lot more, things would be a lot better.
16:21Yeehaw!
16:21Yeehaw!
16:22Fuck!
16:22I whipped myself in the neck.
16:23Whipped my own ass.
16:25Yeehaw!
16:27So we're zip-tied them together.
16:28That way they're all secured.
16:30And they stay together in the row.
16:32We don't want somebody tipping it over when you're in there.
16:34We don't, no.
16:35I mean, it'd be funny if it wasn't you.
16:36It's always funny when it's not you.
16:41Dan, so first things first, getting these toilets all set up, what we are going to do
16:46is grab our blue packs in here.
16:48Right.
16:48Grab one of those.
16:49What are those for?
16:50These are for, helps break down the waste, helps keep the odor down.
16:54So what we do is, I'll give you that.
16:57Shuck her in the toilet right there.
16:59Hi!
17:00Shuck her in the toilet.
17:01Oh, perfect shot!
17:06So what we're going to do, we're going to blast those blue packs you threw in there.
17:09Make sure there's something for the waste to go into, so that it's not just a dry thing
17:14in the bottom.
17:15Okay, I understand.
17:15Blast away, let's see it.
17:16I'm not getting, I'm doing it with my eyes closed, I don't want to get it in my eyes.
17:19Keep going.
17:21Keep on going.
17:23Keep on going.
17:24Good?
17:26All righty, that looks mint.
17:27Mint?
17:28Ready for a bummer.
17:32Whew!
17:33What a day.
17:34We cleaned.
17:35Oh God, it's thick at the bottom.
17:38Fixed.
17:38Say hello to daddy.
17:40Floated the shitters.
17:42But tomorrow is the rodeo, and I've got a little surprise brewing for the boys.
17:47Something that might shock the very shit out of them.
17:50Maybe literally.
17:58This is your cowboys!
18:02Now we made it up!
18:05We're at the rodeo and the gates are open.
18:09Human asses will be blowing porta-potties that I helped repair.
18:13I just really hope I do the boys at Lambton Sanitation proud.
18:21Anyone in there?
18:22Do you need help?
18:23No.
18:25Alone time.
18:29Hello, sir.
18:31Hi.
18:32Hi.
18:33How'd it go in there?
18:34It honestly is probably one of the cleanest porta-potties I've been in.
18:37It smells really good in there.
18:38The toilet paper wasn't too friction-y?
18:40No.
18:40I'm impressed.
18:42Excuse me.
18:43Hi.
18:43Hi.
18:44Just so I know, is it like one or two?
18:46One.
18:46Money.
18:47Thanks.
18:48After you, my dear.
18:52Please, please, please.
18:53This time once at least.
18:55Oh.
18:55Hello, sir.
18:55Hey.
18:56How was the smell?
18:57It was pretty good before I was in there.
18:59Great.
19:01Oh.
19:01Let me get that for you.
19:02Oh, thank you.
19:03Hey.
19:04Bye.
19:07Liar!
19:15I've been hearing some rumors that Dan's got a surprise for us.
19:18How do you like my cock?
19:22Little does he know we've got a surprise cooked up for him as well.
19:29I'm gonna test this baby out.
19:31Oh, pristine.
19:36All righty.
19:38Oh.
19:41Hey.
19:42Oh.
19:43Hey.
19:43Oh.
19:44Oh.
19:45No.
19:46You gizzed on me.
19:47Oh.
19:49Hang on.
19:50I knew you, Fritzman, dude.
19:51You fucking turned on me.
19:53Oh, no.
19:54Please.
19:54With all the gods on me.
19:56Oh.
19:56Fuck.
19:58You assholes.
19:59Oh.
20:00I knew it.
20:02I fucking knew it.
20:03Fritz.
20:04Oh.
20:05I just want to say, now you are a professional shit eater.
20:09I am a professional shit eater.
20:11Thank you, Sean.
20:12Honestly, guys, this was great, so thank you very much for taking me through this process.
20:16Thanks for saying that, Dan.
20:17We're happy to have you.
20:17Get her in here, boys.
20:18For shit sakes.
20:19Come on, now.
20:20Let's bring her in.
20:21Shit eater.
20:22Honestly, these guys are great.
20:24They've got a shitty job, but I am so glad that they do it.
20:27And all of our asses should thank them for doing it.
20:29And all of our pee-pees, too.
20:31One, two, three.
20:33Shit eater.
20:34Yeah.
20:35All right.
20:37He gives an eye.
20:38Come on.
20:39The most dangerous area rodeo is in the bullshoot.
20:42He gives an eye, ladies.
20:44Get it up, let's go.
20:48Come on.
20:49Come on.
20:51Come on.
20:52Come on.
20:52Come on.
20:52Come on.
20:52Come on.
20:53Come on.
20:55Come on.
20:56Come on.
20:57Come on.
20:58Come on.
20:59Come on.
21:00Come on.
21:00Come on.
21:02Come on.
21:02Hey, ladies and gentlemen.
21:03Our next cowboy's a real daredevil.
21:08He's about to take a wild ride on a spirited force of nature.
21:17You guys ready for this?
21:22Let's hear it for Dan Petroninich.
21:25Shit's about to get wild, boys and girls.
21:27Who-hoo!
21:30Whoo-hoo!
21:32Oh!
21:33A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
21:35Fuck yeah!
21:50That's all after, boys!
21:55This is Blue Collar.
21:59Yeah!
22:01Let's go away, boys!
22:03Let's go away, boys!
22:12Let's go away, boys!
22:13By the way, T-Cap and Adam, you missed a spot, bitches.
22:33I'll have the way, boys!
22:34Come here, boys!
22:34This is the question, baby.
22:35Is the question, baby?
22:36Is the question, baby?
22:42The question, baby.
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