- 2 days ago
CTP (S3EAprSpecial2) Escaping The Why Me Trap
Exploring more of the fascinating intersection of Activism, Community Engagement, Faith / Religion, Human Nature, Politics, Social Issues, and beyond
We talk with Marat Welker about the Why Me mindset and how it quietly turns hard moments into a story of powerlessness. We challenge the “happily ever after” myth, unpack how identity and social media shape our thinking, and share a simple language shift that helps us act instead of react.
• defining the Why Me mindset versus victimhood
• how imposter syndrome and survival instincts feed self-focused thinking
• identity as a lens that shapes decisions and beliefs
• faith and philosophy as tools for resilience in a fallen world
• social media dopamine loops and amplified grievance
• Cinderella as a model for “happier ever after” habits
• dropping the words “to me” to regain agency
• gratitude and challenges as a path to growth
• empty nester identity loss and finding a new mission
• Marat’s coaching program built on Bible, science, and habits
https://tinyurl.com/SubscribeToCTP
CTP Audios: https://tinyurl.com/CTPonBuzzsprout
CTP Videos: https://tinyurl.com/JLDonBITCHUTE
https://tinyurl.com/CTPgear
Exploring more of the fascinating intersection of Activism, Community Engagement, Faith / Religion, Human Nature, Politics, Social Issues, and beyond
We talk with Marat Welker about the Why Me mindset and how it quietly turns hard moments into a story of powerlessness. We challenge the “happily ever after” myth, unpack how identity and social media shape our thinking, and share a simple language shift that helps us act instead of react.
• defining the Why Me mindset versus victimhood
• how imposter syndrome and survival instincts feed self-focused thinking
• identity as a lens that shapes decisions and beliefs
• faith and philosophy as tools for resilience in a fallen world
• social media dopamine loops and amplified grievance
• Cinderella as a model for “happier ever after” habits
• dropping the words “to me” to regain agency
• gratitude and challenges as a path to growth
• empty nester identity loss and finding a new mission
• Marat’s coaching program built on Bible, science, and habits
https://tinyurl.com/SubscribeToCTP
CTP Audios: https://tinyurl.com/CTPonBuzzsprout
CTP Videos: https://tinyurl.com/JLDonBITCHUTE
https://tinyurl.com/CTPgear
Category
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NewsTranscript
00:00Hello, welcome to another episode of First Tutualist Podcast.
00:06I am your host, Joseph M. Leonard.
00:10That's L-E-N-A-R-D at the French.
00:13It's not, it's Leonard without an O.
00:17Thank you for tuning in, as Graham Norton used to say, on his show.
00:24Let's get on with the show!
00:26So, joining me today is Marit Welker, like Merit, but with an A in there.
00:35Marit Welker, W-E-L-K-E-R, and of course, in post, I will put the scrawl at the
00:43bottom.
00:43She is joining me today to talk about the Why Me Mindset, which is in January, season one
00:52episode, I wrote it down, 134, I had on Richard Lynch again.
00:59He did a cover of Chris Christopherson's song, Why Me Lord, which was like, why me, Lord?
01:07Why am I getting these blessings I don't think I deserve?
01:12You mean it.
01:13We're here to talk about more the other way, the ugh, why me, Lord?
01:19Why does this bad stuff keep happening, right?
01:23Right.
01:26So, the tone and inflection matters.
01:30Absolutely.
01:31I'll tell you, it's something that I'm a professional at.
01:34I spent 20 or 30 years stuck in why me mentality, and it only brought misery.
01:42Yeah.
01:43I was on X getting ready for the show, and I happened to mention it on X, and I tagged
01:52Grok
01:53on it.
01:53So, Grok provided some statistics.
01:59The Why Me Mindset episode, here's a few verified stats.
02:04A 2019 systematic review found in posture syndrome, which is usually involved, but not always.
02:14Prevalence ranges 9% to 82%, often higher in ethnic minorities and professionals.
02:24PMC link, I don't know who that is, but also being quoted as the National Library of Medicine.
02:3220-25 meta-analysis, 62% in health providers, Springer.com.
02:42So, a lot of people deal with this, apparently.
02:48I think nearly everyone on the earth does.
02:51It's our natural survival instinct.
02:55It's how we process things when things don't go our way.
03:00And when you can learn to...
03:02This is not something you naturally discover on your own at all.
03:07It is a taught philosophy.
03:10But once you learn this and begin to live this, it's a game changer.
03:15Yeah.
03:16I spent so many years feeling sorry for myself for all of the things that had gone wrong in
03:22my life and all of the things that were unfair to me.
03:26Abuses, bullying, perceived problems.
03:29They weren't even real problems, but in my mind, they were.
03:32And all of them were against me.
03:35And I'll tell you, it's a terrible way to live.
03:40Well, I think it's part of human condition, human nature, human psychology.
03:46And once you get kind of caught up in it, it snowballs itself.
03:53And I think it's a little different.
03:56It can be the same as victimhood mentality, but that's where you're constantly in the refusal
04:05to admit anything.
04:07Anything could even remotely be your own doing or not versus why me, Lord is almost just it's
04:18accidentally, but why does it keep happening to me?
04:23That, to me, is a little different than the victimhood mentality.
04:28Right.
04:29I'm actually not familiar with the why me, Lord song.
04:32Somehow I missed that one.
04:34And I didn't come in thinking in terms of why me, Lord.
04:39I came in thinking of just the natural propensity to think of ourselves first and wonder why these
04:48things are happening.
04:49And yes, in prayer, but also in all of our mindset.
04:54And I think that that's something that is something that is taught to us by society and
05:02social media, and it becomes part of our identity as well.
05:06I mean, I'm guessing from your shirt that you're probably leaning towards conservative
05:12politically.
05:13Yeah.
05:14Biblical-based, constitutionalist, trademarked, created Christian, Christian biblical community
05:23versus worldly communism.
05:26There is a big difference.
05:28I root things in biblical reality and truth and the whole Bible in full context.
05:36So, yes, I am a person of the right based on my Christian faith and Jesus's teaching versus
05:45Marxist teaching.
05:47Right.
05:48Now, let me ask you this.
05:50How much of that filters into your identity?
05:54Oh, I would certainly say a lot of that does.
05:58Absolutely.
06:00And I think faith, some would say faith is a crutch, but I think having the faith.
06:08They're just the ones without faith.
06:09Yeah.
06:10Yeah.
06:11I think faith helps one to understand that bad things sometimes happen to good people.
06:20This is a fallen world.
06:22It's not, the world isn't out to get you.
06:26It's just the way it is.
06:28God has given all free will and some choose evil to do to others as part of their, so it's
06:37not necessarily you.
06:39You are not necessarily a target and faith can help you get out of that hole and overcome
06:45it.
06:46I would imagine it's harder without faith.
06:50Well, definitely.
06:52But, yes.
06:55But it doesn't depend on the person.
06:57I think philosophy can help get there.
07:00But for me, having my faith and being based on faith and centering my life on my faith
07:07in Jesus Christ, or trying to, I feel like that gives me the strength I need to make it
07:15actually happen.
07:16But here's where I'm going with this.
07:20The identity that you have as a Christitutionalist and a more conservative and faith-based person
07:30is based on that.
07:33Now, what if a Democrat came along and they were agnostic?
07:38They aren't sure about the whole religion thing.
07:40Okay.
07:41Where would their identity lie?
07:42It wouldn't be the same as yours.
07:45But our identity is something that is the driving force behind what we do.
07:53It is so crucial.
07:55It is foundational for how we live our lives.
07:58Sometimes I've found that people who are more soft in the definition of their identity
08:08are sometimes more malleable and ready to move forward in new directions.
08:13But those who are hard and firm set in their, I am a...
08:18Which could be left or right.
08:21It could be either.
08:22No, I don't mean even political.
08:23How about I'm LGBT or my daughter is LGBT or my, oh, I don't know, just any kind of identity.
08:34I'm white.
08:35Okay.
08:35I'm of German and English ancestry, about 90% English, I think.
08:41But what happens is, I mean, British, but what happens is that if I am a genealogist and
08:48if that's how I see myself, then the decisions I make are framed through that perspective.
08:55And social media only makes this stronger.
08:58Oh my goodness, does it make it stronger?
09:00Makes it worse.
09:01Yeah.
09:02Yeah.
09:02Absolutely.
09:03So the more that we are diving deep into social media, diving deep into our identity,
09:14identity, the stronger this bias becomes, because that identity is going to shape how we see
09:20the world.
09:21It's going to shape who we are.
09:23It's going to shape our decisions.
09:24It will shape our understanding of the world around us.
09:29It's like putting on a pair of glasses.
09:31Sorry, they're not on my head after all.
09:34I reached for them.
09:35But putting on your glasses and discovering they're very dirty.
09:38Well, if they're very dirty, it comes on very gradually and very gradually, and you may
09:45not notice that they're dirty until you take them off and put them back on again clean, or
09:50put them back on again and notice how dirty they are.
09:53I think the same thing happens for the world that we live in, where we are going to be finding
10:00ourselves biased, but that doesn't mean badly biased.
10:11It just means, and it's slightly distorted.
10:16Each of us has a different prescription through our glasses of how we see the world, and a huge
10:22portion of that lands on our identity.
10:24Now, how does this tie back into victim mindset and the why me?
10:31Well, I think that Disney might be the root of all evil.
10:37No, I'm just kidding.
10:38I'm just kidding there.
10:40Let it go!
10:42Let it go!
10:44No, I'm kidding.
10:46I have wonderful memories of going to Disney World and watching Disney movies with my children.
10:51But what I didn't realize I was teaching them, growing up on the beautiful shows that I watched
10:57as a child with my parents, and we built great memories around, was that if you are going
11:05to have your difficult time, then afterwards, Prince Charming is going to come along, sweep
11:13you off your feet to the castle, and you will live happily ever after.
11:17Well, only Cinderella got that right.
11:21If you are familiar with the Cinderella version of, a Disney version of Cinderella, in it, you'll
11:29find that Cinderella had some tough circumstances.
11:33She lost her mother, then she lost her father, and then she was stuck with an evil stepmother
11:37who then enslaved her, and she became free labor.
11:43She wasn't treated respectfully, and she wasn't protected physically.
11:50She was up in the cold, drafty attic.
11:53This takes place in France, conceptually.
11:57And so it's not going to be warm in the winter in that attic.
12:00But here's the thing about Cinderella that's different from all the others.
12:04Cinderella sang while she worked.
12:10Cinderella spoke respectfully to her mother-in-law.
12:14Cinderella was able to deal with the stepsisters and give them their space.
12:22Cinderella took care of the animals.
12:25Cinderella complained now and then, but she kept going in her circumstances.
12:31Yeah, we're all entitled to whine and mow once in a while, yes.
12:36Once in a while, but don't get stuck there.
12:38And if that happens, it's hard to evict.
12:40I can tell you that from past experience.
12:43But by having these habits in place, Cinderella may do with what she had.
12:50She had no one.
12:52No one.
12:52So she played with mice.
12:54Ew.
12:55I mean, ew.
12:57But that being said, she made the best of her circumstances.
13:01Now, bad things happened.
13:06And she was able to come through and marry the prince.
13:10Would the stepsisters have been happy if they had married the prince?
13:16Probably not, because they were miserable SOBs to begin with.
13:22And yes, you're pointing out a very important part of the whole overall moral of the story.
13:30And it goes back to, I speak to Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror song all the time, right?
13:39You've got to start with you.
13:42No, someone else can't make you happy if you're not happy at all with yourself.
13:50Right.
13:51Well, here's another thing to keep in mind on this concept, is that with Cinderella's circumstance, when she married the
14:02king, I mean, when she married the prince, she had very meddling in-laws.
14:07I mean, her father-in-law, oh, peace out of work, right?
14:12She had jealous courtiers, unhappy constituents, and children.
14:19Life wasn't easier.
14:20It was different.
14:22Now, that's where we go wrong.
14:24She lived happily ever after because she knew how to live happy.
14:28Not because of the prince, and not because of the circumstances.
14:32What we forget...
14:34It helped.
14:35It helped.
14:36But, crap, again.
14:37Well, love always helps.
14:39Yeah.
14:40But we're not complete unless we're complete as individuals.
14:45Absolutely.
14:45And that's not our spouse's job.
14:48There's the cure for most divorces.
14:51Not most, many divorces.
14:53We are...
14:54Our spouse is not responsible for our happiness.
14:56We are.
14:58So, that's something that, when we talk about this victim mentality, what's so important to understand is that you can
15:10take out the words, to me, from your entire vocabulary, and live a happier life just doing that.
15:19Here's how.
15:21Oh, this horrible thing happened to me this morning.
15:24I was, da, da, da, da, da.
15:27And then I can say, oh, this horrible thing happened this morning, da, da, da.
15:33And what's the difference?
15:35The difference is how you process it afterwards.
15:37Because if it happened to you, then you are the victim.
15:41And if it happened to you, then something's out to get you, and you're the victim.
15:48But, and that removes your power to act.
15:52That removes your ability to make...
15:53Or it gives you an excuse.
15:55To make decisions and step forward.
15:56It gives you an excuse to not bother.
15:59Exactly, exactly.
16:01And if that's built into our identity, and if that's built into social media, and, you know, what we grew
16:09up on is the happily ever after mentality.
16:11While happily ever after doesn't exist, happier ever after does.
16:18And that is what I teach.
16:20That is where my efforts lie at this time, because so many people are suffering needlessly.
16:30And by removing those two words, to me, suddenly you have women who are not only able to make choices.
16:47I'm sorry, I work with women, so I said that women.
16:49You have people who are able to make their choices for themselves.
16:54They don't react to anything.
16:57There is no reading.
16:58It's just acting.
16:59Okay.
17:00So, something terrible happened to me this morning, I can say.
17:03And then I say, and this is how I acted in response, or this is how I chose to act.
17:11What that does is it shifts us from victim mentality, and it takes away our excuse, and it gives us
17:19power and authority to go ahead and live our lives.
17:25Because that autonomy is incredible.
17:29What we do with that autonomy, that is where I come in.
17:32That is what I coach.
17:34My last couple of books, my last one, Complicated, just came out January of 2026, deals in that to a
17:45degree.
17:45Also, we don't have a choice how people act towards us, but we do have a choice in how we
17:55respond back exactly what you're saying.
18:00And also, you said it perfectly.
18:04Happy you're ever after.
18:06There's no such thing as happily ever after because we're living in a fallen world.
18:13Happily ever after assumes there is perfection that can be achieved on this planet.
18:22And that's a fool's errand.
18:25There is no such thing as perfect here.
18:28We want to succeed as best we can to the next life where wonderful can and does exist.
18:39Right.
18:40Well, one thing, you know, Jesus commanded us to be perfect.
18:45But I don't think he means to be, I mean, translations vary on the meaning and the power of that.
18:52It can also mean finished.
18:54And the commandments he has just given us prior to that are pretty intense ones.
18:59But it also reminds us that we can't be perfect on our own.
19:04You know, you see all those signs that say, you're good enough.
19:07You're, you are enough.
19:09Well, we're not.
19:11We live in a fallen world.
19:12None of us is enough.
19:14It is only through Jesus Christ that any of us can even breathe.
19:19It is only through God that we've been created and we can be perfect in Jesus Christ.
19:26We can be perfect through him.
19:28And so for me, we live in a fallen world.
19:32We are all human, frail, flawed, imperfect.
19:35We will keep falling down.
19:37But the point being, we need to strive for better.
19:43Strive.
19:44We're not going to achieve perfect, but want to try to be perfect.
19:50I try not to, I hate to bring politics in, but Melania's be best thing.
19:58That to me is a wonderful thing.
20:02Be the best you, you can be.
20:05And again, it goes back to Michael Jackson, man in the mirror, or Rick Springfield's prayer.
20:11I send a prayer to heaven for the chance to be a better man than the man I see.
20:18You have to want to strive for better, not the why me excuse to not bother.
20:28And that right there, that's where it comes back to identity.
20:32Because as we are looking at the impact of social media, of influencers, of where we are spending our time
20:44and our energy,
20:47it's addicting.
20:48And it gives you those dopamine hits.
20:50So it's a lot of fun.
20:51Don't ask how I know, but it's addicting.
20:54But I'll tell you something.
20:56It's powerful if you use it for good.
21:01And it's powerful if you don't.
21:04And it will use you.
21:06And you can get lost.
21:08And it will take your doubt, your feelings of victimhood, and expand them.
21:14And expound on them until you deserve everything.
21:16And one of the biggest trends lately on social media has been using trauma language and severe trauma language to
21:27describe normal situations.
21:29You hear about toxic people and removing yourself from toxic people in your life.
21:35Well, what is a toxic person?
21:37I would say, hmm, somebody who has sexually abused you, maybe?
21:41Somebody who has beaten you physically?
21:44Yeah.
21:45But what about a perfect parent who's trying?
21:47Yeah, mental abuse.
21:49But complaining is sort.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Helicopter parents may be good intention, but in a way that's overboard also.
21:57That can be a problem also.
22:01So you're right.
22:02Right.
22:03There needs to be a bit of a balance and an understanding of what's going on.
22:10But a lot of it, again, it all goes back to me, to us being able to self-reflect or
22:18not.
22:19What role are we playing in these bad things that may happen to us?
22:26And again, bad things happen to good people all the time.
22:30May or not be partly your fault, and it's not because you're cursed.
22:35It's just the way the world is.
22:38But do we want to – all my Life and Living series books are that, at least striving to want
22:49to be better.
22:50You have to want to try to be better.
22:54Right, right.
22:56Okay, so you keep coming back to the – I just want to build off it, but I can't remember
23:01the word.
23:01Oh, I love being 60.
23:04Yeah, I turned 63 this year, so I know what you mean.
23:08I just turned 59, but you know what I mean.
23:10Yeah, I have a train of thought, but I'm at the shipyard waiting on a plane, right?
23:17Yeah, it don't work.
23:20That's beautiful.
23:21I had 10 concussions in three years.
23:24Oh, that don't help.
23:27You know, that's when you have a word that you just can't find.
23:31It's on the tip of your tongue, but you just can't get it.
23:33But later, it comes back to you.
23:36Not this time.
23:37What would happen is things would go, and I couldn't find them again, ever.
23:42The end.
23:43I knew they weren't coming back, but that was okay.
23:45I just had to learn to live that way, and it was called a traumatic brain injury at one point,
23:53and I had to go through three months of mild traumatic brain injury.
23:58I had to go through three months of therapy, which helped substantially, but the habits have continued,
24:05and I did a deep dive study into neurology and psychology.
24:11Oh, my goodness.
24:12Became obsessed with it for years.
24:14And it was so, so helpful.
24:18And I wish all Christians, no, I wish everyone, but especially Christians, would look into this
24:23because there's so much truth out there and available, so much wisdom,
24:29and it can help guide and push your life into the direction that will be, help you to be the
24:44best Christian you can be
24:45and the best person and the happiest person you can be.
24:48Oh, I remembered what it was.
24:52Go ahead.
24:54Okay.
24:54The thing that has me concerned is when people say, a bad thing happened to me, right?
25:02What about when bad things are happening to good people and we complain?
25:08We were commanded to be thankful in all things, right?
25:14And I think that that is one of the other key components to happiness because when we recognize that the
25:23challenges that are coming our way can be our biggest blessings,
25:27that's when we can begin to truly grow and step into ourselves.
25:33God teaches us through challenges.
25:36God communicates with us through challenges.
25:39We give him a great big long shopping list.
25:41And do you know what he gives us?
25:45Challenges.
25:47We don't want challenges.
25:49But what does he say?
25:50He says that he will chastise those that he loves.
25:54So some of us are loved more than others.
25:56I believe that.
25:57Not that we're loved more, but that we are chastised more.
26:02And yet we all have our struggles and probably the same degree for each individual.
26:09If they are willing to embrace them, they can avoid, they can seek their pleasure in their short-term happiness.
26:16But to really become their best selves, they need to take it to the next level.
26:25And that means be willing to commit and to go all in and to embrace those challenges
26:35and ask every single time, God, what do you want me to learn from this?
26:40You said a lot of things, and I started making notes.
26:45Iron sharpens iron.
26:47If you had nothing bad, the bad things a lot of times, like bullying.
26:54I had Bullseye the Clown on my show a few years ago.
26:58Yeah, he's a result.
27:00He became Bullseye the Clown as a result of bullying and deals with bullying and the lessons of bullying.
27:09Well, you know what?
27:11If he hadn't been bullied, he wouldn't be the person he is today.
27:17And in fact, in my The Book of Kennedy Project Carpe Diem book, I talk about Natasha being a bully
27:26to deflect from herself and her shortcomings growing up.
27:32Well, Kennedy becomes a better person because of it, because you don't want to be like that bad example.
27:41So sometimes the bad things help mold us into being better people, yes?
27:50And it brings to mind the Asia song, Days Like These, or like Longfellow, I go into in my books.
27:59Every life a little rain, literal and figurative, must fall.
28:04It helps shape your character.
28:07Days Like These by Asia is about, Days Like These, I feel like I could change the world.
28:15And anyway, I love the rain, right?
28:19Let it rain.
28:20It's actually making me stronger.
28:24Right.
28:25Again, not choosing...
28:27All of my greatest blessings have come because of trials.
28:33And again, it goes back to choosing how we act back to that which is presented to us.
28:41Do we shrivel and play the victim card?
28:45The oh, woe is me, why me?
28:48The excuse to not attempt to make things better.
28:53Well, and here's the thing.
28:55You can be a real victim, okay?
28:57If something terrible happened to me this morning, and I say something terrible happened this morning, it still happened.
29:07If I remove to me, that doesn't mean it didn't happen to me, all right?
29:12Let's pretend I've been assaulted.
29:15Well, it means...
29:17I was still assaulted.
29:18It's how I'm interpreting that action.
29:21And here's the thing, is there are populations, subpopulations, social groups, etc., who have more difficulty with this because that's
29:32how they have been raised from the time they were babies.
29:35It's true.
29:37Do they have problems?
29:38Yes.
29:39Are they fair?
29:40No.
29:41Does that mean that...
29:42Life isn't fair, yes.
29:44No, no, no.
29:45What I mean is they've been in really unfair circumstances, okay?
29:49Not even remotely close.
29:53And I recognize and acknowledge that, but they can still break out of it if they lose the portion of
30:02the identity that had the why me.
30:04They still belong in that group.
30:06They still are part of that experience.
30:08They still are very much there, but they can find power and strength in capturing their own personal identity, not
30:19as I am from this background or that, but in I am a daughter of God, who is in this
30:28background and that.
30:30Instead of just keeping your identity, I am a Christian, da, da, da, da, it's I am a daughter of
30:39God.
30:40If you put that first, and that's truly in your heart, boom, that's going to open so many, just, it's
30:47going to empower you on so many levels.
30:50What I do for my work is I teach Christian women who have teen children up through, you know, 70
30:58or whatever, who are going through that stage called becoming an empty nester, who are about to go through it,
31:06who have gone through it, and haven't fully recovered.
31:09And people think, well, what now?
31:12And you've lost your identity.
31:14Who am I now?
31:15I was a mom.
31:17I don't care if you're a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, you are still a mom first, because that's
31:23where your heart is.
31:24That's why you do all the other stuff.
31:26And so when your children suddenly not only leave home, but don't want to return calls, or don't want you
31:35calling them every day, I mean, I taught you to go to the bathroom.
31:42I fed you.
31:43I, this, I, that, I, the other, all of this your entire life.
31:46And now suddenly, I want to hear, like, what you had to practice.
31:50You might not be as dependent on me anymore, but I still kind of am dependent on you.
31:58That's right, because that's where my joy comes from.
32:01Yeah.
32:02And back to your...
32:04Oh, okay.
32:05My, your to me...
32:06No, I'm just turning a light on.
32:07Okay.
32:09Go ahead.
32:09Your to me part, again, back to the victimhood, the perpetual victimhood part is where the problem is.
32:18Just because it happened to me doesn't mean it might not have happened to someone else.
32:25The trap is that, gee, it only ever seems to happen to me.
32:33That's where the big trap is, I think.
32:37Yes?
32:38I'm not sure.
32:39I think that...
32:45I think it just, to some degree, it comes down to, we are human beings, and we are selfish creatures
32:50by nature in order to survive the end.
32:54Okay?
32:54If there's a grizzly running us down, you know what?
32:58I'm going to run faster than you.
32:59Do you know why I know that?
33:01I don't.
33:01But, you know, that's kind of our desire is to be safe, to protect ourselves, et cetera.
33:09And so we think about ourselves first.
33:11Now, that's not something that Jesus wants us to do, and that is a way to living really unhappy.
33:18But it is what we do naturally.
33:22Part of our nature.
33:23Our biology is programmed this way.
33:24Yes.
33:24Yeah.
33:25Our biology has to be programmed this way for the survival of the species.
33:30Yes.
33:30However, that being said, it's also the root of unhappiness.
33:37And so it's finding our spirit, overcoming our biology, our mental plan, you know, psychology, and being able to remove
33:52the two me.
33:53It still happened.
33:54It's still a problem.
33:55It is.
33:56I'm not saying.
33:57And it can be part of my identity.
33:59It wasn't only you these things are happening to.
34:03It's not only you.
34:05And that's the problem.
34:07Only the only me.
34:09The only me.
34:10The only me.
34:12That's the selfishness.
34:14I don't agree in that part because here's the thing.
34:17There can be, as I said, whole populations who've experienced bad things together.
34:22And that helps unite them.
34:25And their community may still be focusing on that.
34:28Now, if that's the case, guess what?
34:30That doesn't diminish what really did happen to them.
34:34Nor does it diminish that it happened to the whole population of them and to them as individuals.
34:39That's still true.
34:41What does it do?
34:42It says, okay, well, what am I going to focus on then?
34:47And I think it's more about the focus than the individual versus community.
34:51I think you kind of proved my point.
34:55It happened to a bunch of people.
34:57If you're focusing on the only you, you're losing sight of that broader picture.
35:03And the psychology thing is human nature.
35:07Again, God gave us free will and our human nature and that psychology evolved from that free will.
35:15I guess what I'm saying, let's say that you are a survivor of the Nazis.
35:21Okay.
35:22What did you go through?
35:23You were in a prison camp and you survived.
35:25Now, you're in a club of some very, a very small club.
35:32That makes you a survivor.
35:34You have been through trauma that's unheard of, untold trauma.
35:39And you have a group of small people.
35:43That doesn't make it any more or less about you to be in a community.
35:48I don't think that has anything to do with it.
35:50And I don't think it's about who you focus on.
35:52No, I'm saying that I think that's the trap.
35:54I think I really do.
35:57We have a difference of opinion here.
36:00Here's what I'm saying.
36:01I don't think it's that.
36:02I think it's the identity.
36:05Because if your identity is, I am a victim of the Nazis, and that is your identity.
36:12Yeah, but you weren't the only one.
36:15And the world keeps teaching you that, and the world keeps teaching you that, then you can grow weaker and
36:20weaker as a community, as individuals, and as a community, in that we are victims, we deserve X, Y, Z.
36:27And I'm not saying that happened or should happen.
36:29That's just my example.
36:30I think we are closer than we are apart in this.
36:36Okay.
36:37But I don't, I don't, what I'm trying to lay out is that there are communities that are making it
36:44worse because they are as a community making it about me.
36:49Making it, making them victims, if that makes sense.
36:54That's what I'm trying to focus on, is that there are communities that make it worse because they teach you
36:59to be a victim, and they support you in that.
37:02And then as a community, they are a victim.
37:04That's a collective mindset, and that's a whole other discussion.
37:08Right.
37:09But what I'm saying is when we base our identity on that collective mindset, then we, you know, it pulls
37:18us down, and it's a very heavy force.
37:21Yeah.
37:22So that's why what I want to say is be careful how you see yourself.
37:29Analyze how you see yourself.
37:30Take a step to see.
37:32That mirror thing again.
37:34You need to be able to look in the mirror and judge yourself.
37:40Remove the log from thine own eye.
37:43We are to judge biblically, including ourselves.
37:47We must self-reflect.
37:49And boy, time has flown.
37:52We could talk for three days on all this.
37:55So let's wrap it up.
37:56Do you have a closing thought?
38:00Go ahead.
38:01Yeah.
38:02I didn't finish telling you what it is I do.
38:04And that is I work with these women to help them become their best selves.
38:09I'm a teacher.
38:10I'm a coach.
38:11I'm a trainer.
38:12I'm also a speaker.
38:14But I work with these women in order to help them become empowered Christian women.
38:21That's my whole program is the Empowered Christian Woman, where it's all based on science and habit and the Bible.
38:29And it's a beautiful program to help them to learn that strength I speak about, that ability to be disconnected
38:37from the world, and the skills for living happily ever after, happier ever after.
38:43And then walking them through finding their new purpose and guiding them towards their next mission in life.
38:50Because life is just beginning.
38:53Yeah.
38:54I think a lot of women get stuck at that stage.
38:56And I work with all women.
38:58But my emphasis right now is just on helping those empty nesters to really find what it is that they're
39:07supposed to, that God's calling them to be now.
39:10Well, wrapping things up again, I think we are closer together than we are apart here.
39:17And again, not to plug my book again, but I am, life is complicated.
39:22This is all complicated stuff.
39:26It's not simple.
39:28It's not easy.
39:29There aren't easy answers here normally.
39:33But we have to self-reflect.
39:36And like the plane, it loses cabin pressure.
39:41The masks come down.
39:42You are to put on your own mask first.
39:45You have to help yourself before you're able to help others.
39:51Or you're one of the ones grasping for breath on the floor, unable to help yourself or anyone else.
39:58Do you have a website for folks to find you?
40:03Yes.
40:04My website is maratwelker.com.
40:07And on there, I have a three-day challenge brochure that's free for people to download and give it a
40:15try.
40:17I think that there's a lot of women out there who can use this, and it can really make a
40:21difference in their lives.
40:22Men as well could.
40:23But it's, you know, everything's pink.
40:25So.
40:27Hey, I used to wear pink ties.
40:30I had a salmon cowlid shirt.
40:32Real men have no problem with pink.
40:35Agreed.
40:36Agreed.
40:37No, I want to help women get happier.
40:38And there's a three-day happier challenge there if they want to come check out maratwelker.com.
40:46Great.
40:47Thank you, Mark.
40:48It's like.
40:49Marit.
40:50Well, Marit.
40:51Right.
40:53I'm glad I got it wrong, actually.
40:55It's like merit, but with an A in there.
40:59Marit.
41:00Marit Welker, thank you for coming on.
41:03It was a great discussion.
41:05Again, like with a lot of my guests, we can talk for three days, but then it would be too
41:10long.
41:11Nobody will watch it.
41:13Right.
41:14Take care.
41:15God bless you.
41:16Take care.
41:17God bless.
41:17Love you.
41:18Have a good one.
41:19You too.
41:20Bye-bye.
41:21Like and subscribe to Christitutionalist Politics Podcast and share episodes.
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41:30Thank you for having tuned into another Christitutionalist Podcast show.
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41:41Again, please like, share, subscribe.
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41:50Thank you again.
41:51Take care.
41:53God bless.
41:54Love you all.
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