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Short filmTranscript
00:04we're not friends
00:08what the fuck is going on
00:11what the fuck
00:12you just said that to me
00:13that you don't feel like we're friends
00:14okay then fuck you
00:16holy shit
00:27to be honest I'm not surprised
00:28with the way that Whitney's acting right now
00:31and this has just reconfirmed to me
00:33why I have kept my distance
00:36Kayla will you just talk to me
00:38and just did I do something
00:39like genuinely what happened
00:41if so she was upset because
00:43Jen didn't say congrats on her
00:45getting Chicago
00:46therapy's expensive
00:47I'm going to send Whitney my bill
00:49after this conversation
00:51when did she tell you
00:53Zach told me last week
00:55and you just haven't said anything
00:57and I just haven't texted her
00:58I've told her in person
01:00but she's upset that I didn't tell her
01:01when you knew
01:02when I knew
01:03if someone posts
01:04I'm literally terrified
01:05to not comment on somebody's post
01:06because I feel like
01:07we have this expectation now
01:08like if I'm not like
01:09showing complete
01:10and it's probably that
01:11I mean I don't want to hear it
01:13like it's my fault
01:14this Whitney and Jen drama
01:16definitely makes me feel like
01:17I'm back at the CMA drama
01:18from last year
01:19I posted about my CMAs
01:21not a single one of my friends
01:23from MomTalk
01:23said a single thing about it
01:25or commented
01:26to hear nothing
01:27like what the fuck
01:28I think all the cool opportunities
01:30we're getting are great
01:31but I also think it has potential
01:32to pull us away
01:33from why we're in MomTalk
01:34to begin with
01:35and make us lose sight
01:36of the genuine friendships
01:38it's hard to balance it all
01:40but if we don't have our friendships
01:42what is this all for?
01:44I see where Whitney's upset
01:46but to be honest
01:47I don't feel like
01:48our friendship has been genuine
01:49to be honest
01:49I think it's very much
01:50been transactional and fake
01:53and I feel like
01:54in order to protect my energy
01:56I've been just
01:57being cordial this whole time
01:59because I don't have the time
02:00or none of us do
02:01there's a lot of competition
02:03and jealousy
02:03between Whitney and Jen right now
02:05and that's where this is
02:06all stemming from
02:06but MomTalk does not need
02:08to be dealing with this right now
02:09as we kind of grow in popularity
02:11we're getting more and more offers
02:13like Taylor with The Bachelorette
02:14coming up
02:14and when we start getting
02:16more exposure
02:17and more opportunities
02:18I do worry
02:19it may drive us apart
02:20it's all transactional
02:22she's saying like
02:23I don't care about her
02:24I'm like you don't care
02:25about any of us either
02:26you only came back
02:26for Dancing with the Stars
02:28I am feeling like
02:30so heated right now
02:32I don't even know
02:33if people are backing me up
02:35or people backing Jen up
02:36but if there's one thing
02:38that I have learned
02:38being a part of this group
02:39is that something
02:41is bound to happen
02:42but the show must go on
02:49come ye saints and come ye saevers
02:55hallelujah
02:56listen up
02:59I'm the one you've been dreaming of
03:02I got everything you could ever want
03:06try me in your sleep
03:08I'll bring you to your knees
03:10baby you're ba nanggalit
03:13baby you're ba nanggalit
03:15baby you're ba nanggalit
03:40BE CHANDIBLE
03:42BUBBIE
03:48would you love me when I'm broken?
03:51I'm hopeless when the rain starts men
04:00I know, me too, dude.
04:05After finding out about Dakota and Shania, I feel completely fucked over.
04:10And not only that, but I am on empty.
04:12This is not the headspace I wanted to be walking into The Bachelorette.
04:15I think it was very deliberate.
04:16I need to start packing, though, so I'm going to grab my suitcases.
04:20I mean, Dakota knew what this would do.
04:21He's not fucking stupid.
04:23But it's just, it's, yeah, it sucks.
04:28Hey.
04:30Oh, yep, get on in.
04:31You're going with me, huh?
04:33What's your expectations?
04:35Are you nervous?
04:36It's okay to be nervous.
04:38I'm nervous for you.
04:39I don't have any.
04:41I don't have any going in that way.
04:43It's like, whatever happens is going to happen.
04:45There's a part of me that even wonders if I'm capable of doing this, given the recent events.
04:50And then there's another part of me that's like, well, you already said you're going to do it.
04:53You need to do it.
04:53So pull through.
04:54So kind of very chaotic in the head for sure, which is no secret to anybody, I guess, at this
05:00point.
05:00I'm so excited for you.
05:02This is going to be something, like, so fun and challenging and emotional, too.
05:08And I just hope that you can, like, handle all of it.
05:12Honestly, like, I can't imagine more chaos than I'm already living.
05:17So I'll never say that.
05:45Good morning.
05:48Good morning.
05:50What's up? How are you feeling?
05:52Oh, I need to stay off my phone.
05:54Yeah, you really need to stay off social media right now.
05:57Yeah.
05:58I know you've cried most of the night.
06:02Last night I got eliminated, and to be honest, I am devastated and very much surprised.
06:10The couple going home is...
06:15Chen and Yan.
06:19Just, like, it's like a pit in my stomach, like, dreamt of this moment, like, my whole life,
06:26and the fact that it's, like, over just like that, it just, it feels just, like, weird.
06:33Yeah, like the positives even hurt more because it's, like, those memories and...
06:37Yeah.
06:38You can be sad, but you also, you have to be proud of yourself because you wanted to inspire people,
06:44and you accomplished that.
06:46You did this eight weeks postpartum.
06:49I'll never forget, like, finishing my dance and looking over, looking over at you and Nora,
06:59and just saying how proud you were.
07:02I really gave it my all.
07:03Yeah, you gave your heart to it, and you have to be proud of that.
07:08Oh, man.
07:10I think I'm still trying to process.
07:12You should be really proud of yourself.
07:16Yeah, for sure.
07:20You made it to, what, week seven?
07:22You're right.
07:23I should be proud of myself.
07:25So proud of yourself, Jen.
07:29Whitney has been blowing up my phone.
07:32Apparently, she wants to have conversation, which is...
07:35I think she wants to apologize for how she yelled and screamed at you, or...
07:39No.
07:40I think she wants to apologize for laughing when you got eliminated?
07:44No.
07:44Okay, fam.
07:45It looks like Whitney is laughing when Jen gets kicked off.
07:49Do you think that she's happy she's safe?
07:50Or do we think that she's actually happy to see Jen going home?
07:54Hit me up in the comments.
07:55Let me know what you think.
07:56I think she's worried about...
07:59She's thinking about her and being in the competition,
08:02and she didn't like what I had to say on live, and so...
08:06Or about you not voting for her?
08:08Yeah.
08:09And I would be rooting for a former MomTalk person,
08:12but we won't get into it.
08:14Okay, well, I'm this live now.
08:17Oh, I'm out of the shit.
08:19Whitney only cares about Whitney and her not getting eliminated,
08:22and she knows that I hold power when it comes to that,
08:25just because if I say anything more, it could hurt her.
08:29Hello.
08:31I just want to apologize for overreacting and yelling.
08:35So I'm going to say hi to you when I see you at the studio
08:38and wish you luck.
08:40But yeah, I just want to do some sorry for treating you that way.
08:43She knows she effed up.
08:45You want to act like everything's okay?
08:47I'm tired of being fake,
08:48and I've done that a lot,
08:49and I'm tired of doing that,
08:50and I'm not doing that anymore.
08:51And if that means the whole group is against me
08:53because I'm not friends with Whitney,
08:56who's currently popular,
08:57and that's the cool thing to do right now,
08:59I don't care.
09:00And I think it would be good.
09:01I mean, just to have like a cordial conversation
09:04and just like, hey, this is my perspective,
09:07that's her perspective,
09:08and you guys can just talk it out.
09:09You think I should go talk to her?
09:11Yeah, I think someone needs to hold her accountable.
09:15I know you feel like this is the end of the world,
09:18but this is just the beginning.
09:19I know it doesn't feel that way,
09:20but you're going to go do way bigger things.
09:23This journey of Dancing with the Stars,
09:25Jen was gone all the time,
09:26and so like our marriage did get neglected.
09:29At the same time,
09:29like it was one of the coolest,
09:31happiest, fun experiences,
09:32and I feel like pretty sad for her,
09:34but I also feel really grateful
09:35that she got as far as she did.
09:36I've really learned I have to cherish
09:38every second I get with her,
09:39and it's also helped me realize
09:40like I have a lot more respect
09:42for stay-at-home parents.
09:43Getting away from Whitney
09:44and going back with some of your other friends
09:46could be good too.
09:48If you don't have a lot of friends.
09:49If Whitney's down here,
09:51I should probably get out of here.
09:53But hey, she's going to be in Chicago.
09:56New York.
09:57It's New York.
09:58The play's called Chicago.
10:02I'm dead.
10:03It's where I shine, shine.
10:06Love it, yes, I love it all the time.
10:09Time.
10:10Hello.
10:12Hi, Gorge.
10:14You're here.
10:15Wait, this is new?
10:15That's cute.
10:16So much.
10:17Love it.
10:17Did you get that in New York?
10:20Slay.
10:20Love her.
10:21Slayla.
10:22With all of the Shania and Dakota
10:24and Taylor drama going on,
10:26I haven't really had a chance
10:27to check in with Layla
10:28and see how she's doing,
10:29and I'm so excited to see
10:31how her meeting went with board models
10:32because I know this is
10:33a huge opportunity for her
10:35and it's a dream of hers.
10:36Kate, so you haven't told me
10:37any update on board.
10:39Ugh.
10:40Yeah.
10:40Oh, yeah.
10:41What did, how did that go?
10:43They didn't find me.
10:45So just calling to give you
10:46a little bit of an update.
10:48Yeah.
10:48So I've spoken with my team
10:50here in New York.
10:51Unfortunately,
10:51not everyone is really aligned
10:53or on the same page.
10:55So we're going to have to
10:56pass at this time.
10:57Okay.
10:58So I'm just like embarrassed.
10:59I feel like I'm like,
11:00don't be.
11:00Like you're going to get yeses
11:01and you're going to get no.
11:02And every supermodel
11:03literally will tell you
11:05that they have
11:06plenty of no's.
11:07I don't think you guys,
11:08like getting rejected
11:10by a modeling agency,
11:10like that means
11:11there's something wrong with me
11:12that they didn't choose me.
11:13So I feel like I've been like,
11:14the last couple days,
11:15I've been like struggling
11:16so hard with like confidence
11:17and I'm like,
11:18I weigh too much
11:19or my face isn't symmetrical
11:21and I'm like,
11:22I'm literally the ugliest person ever.
11:23You're not at all.
11:24I know,
11:25but I think it just like
11:25stems back to like,
11:26just like me never feeling
11:27like I'm like enough,
11:29if that makes sense.
11:29And just like,
11:30I don't know,
11:31just like having someone
11:31like look at you
11:32and like look at your face
11:33and be like,
11:33yeah,
11:33like we don't want you,
11:35you know,
11:36like it just kind of like,
11:37it sucks.
11:38And I feel like
11:38everyone's always told me like,
11:39you should pursue modeling,
11:40like you're built for it,
11:41you're built for it.
11:41I'm like,
11:41maybe I'm not.
11:42I've struggled with body image issues
11:46and an eating disorder
11:48since I was in high school.
11:49I used to have anorexia
11:51and then I got pregnant
11:52with my first son
11:53when I was 19
11:54and naturally,
11:56I mean,
11:57there's a baby inside of me
11:58that I have to care for.
11:59So I feel like I kind of healed
12:00for a little bit
12:01and then I got pregnant again
12:02and I didn't spiral then.
12:05But after me and my ex separated,
12:07that's when I feel like
12:08I started to go back
12:10into those old ways
12:10and those old habits.
12:11And I feel like I've been battling it
12:13for the last four years now,
12:17silently.
12:17You know that that's not true
12:19because first of all,
12:21you have a mirror
12:21that you can look in
12:22and you have eyes that work.
12:23But I also have a brain
12:24that tricks me and says,
12:25I'm too bad.
12:27But you also have booked
12:28so many other modeling deals.
12:30I just feel like every girl
12:31is getting such awesome opportunities
12:33and I'm so proud of them.
12:34But I definitely,
12:35you know,
12:36you get a little hard on yourself
12:37and you hope that,
12:37you know,
12:38you can achieve things
12:39outside of mom talk as well.
12:40And rejection hurts.
12:42You wouldn't even have the,
12:43you wouldn't have made it
12:44in the door at Ford
12:45if you weren't a beautiful,
12:47like accomplished person
12:48that had a lot of potential.
12:51I feel like I'm trying
12:52to look at positives
12:53in the situation
12:54that if I did get it,
12:55I would have to move
12:55to New York for three months.
12:57And that would definitely be hard
12:58with my babies
12:59and with Mason
13:00and figuring all of that out.
13:02But it's just a hard toss up
13:03because it's something
13:04that I want so badly.
13:05Not the only big agency.
13:07Like there are others.
13:08I don't think I mentally
13:09can handle another now.
13:10No.
13:11I think I just wanted it
13:12like so bad.
13:33I felt really bad
13:34the way that I handled
13:35Jen and I's argument.
13:36No matter what's happened,
13:37no one deserves to be yelled to
13:39like that.
13:39So I don't want things
13:40to be awkward with us.
13:42I've asked her to meet up
13:43with me and hopefully
13:44we can move past this.
13:52What the fuck?
13:53Why is Zach here?
13:54And where is Jen?
14:05Hello.
14:06Hi, how are you doing?
14:07Good.
14:10I'm going to be filling in today.
14:13Filling in for Jen?
14:15I decided to go talk to Whitney
14:17because Jen asks me to.
14:18I wanted to go kind of just
14:21defend Jen.
14:22I don't care if Whitney
14:23screams or yell at me.
14:24Like I'm not scared of Whitney.
14:26She didn't want to come.
14:28Why?
14:29I mean, the truth is
14:30she's hurting right now.
14:31She's sad.
14:32She's grieving.
14:32I think just like you would be.
14:34Yeah, of course.
14:35Yeah, I'm so sorry
14:36she got eliminated.
14:36It would suck.
14:37I don't know if you are.
14:39I hope you are.
14:40I think she's just,
14:41I think she needs time
14:42to process her journey.
14:44And to be honest,
14:45I think she's probably scared
14:45to come here and get yelled at
14:48by you.
14:49You do that a lot.
14:50Yeah, you know what else I did?
14:51I voice memoed her
14:53an apology for yelling at her.
14:55Yeah, Whitney.
14:56It was a bullshit fake apology.
14:58I heard it myself.
15:00You know what?
15:01It wasn't a bullshit apology.
15:02I really did feel bad for yelling.
15:04And I said,
15:04I'm so sorry for saying that.
15:05And then you said,
15:05let's be friends again
15:06because I don't want this
15:06exposure to the media
15:07because I'm going to get voted off
15:09because I'm a mean girl.
15:11That's the truth.
15:13Whitney.
15:14I'm not even,
15:14I'm not even going to
15:15defend myself for that.
15:16She said she didn't want
15:17to be friends.
15:17And I didn't know that.
15:18That hurt my feelings
15:19and I overreacted.
15:20I apologize.
15:21I love the transparency,
15:22but you don't,
15:23I will not stand
15:24is for you to go on live
15:26after you get eliminated
15:28to then say,
15:29I'm not voting for Whitney.
15:31What's the objective there?
15:32I'm in a competition.
15:34I think the objective
15:35is she thinks there's people
15:36who deserve it more than you.
15:39That's fine.
15:39You could have said
15:40who you were voting for,
15:41not who you're not voting for.
15:43You know what?
15:44That to me is cruel
15:46and it's mean
15:48because what do I have
15:49to deal with now?
15:49This hate online,
15:50it's overwhelming.
15:52And then on top of it,
15:53all of the news media outlets
15:55saying,
15:55oh my gosh,
15:56Jen's not voting for you.
15:57Whitney's not Montauk
15:58because I have that narrative.
15:59That's manipulation.
16:00That's an objective.
16:01That's calculated
16:02and that's strategic.
16:03Why do you think
16:03the whole world,
16:04all of social media
16:05thinks that about you?
16:07Because people can see
16:08your true colors.
16:08If you had gotten eliminated,
16:10would you be voting for Jen?
16:12Absolutely.
16:13And that is complete bullshit.
16:14I don't even believe
16:15that one person.
16:16And you know what, Zach?
16:17You don't have to
16:18because even when I had
16:19a conversation with Jen,
16:21the way that she thinks
16:22is she thinks
16:22everybody's calculating,
16:23everyone's strategic
16:24and the world's out together.
16:25No, she thinks you
16:26and me are.
16:27It's weird that you two
16:27happen to be best friends.
16:29First of all,
16:30I don't appreciate that
16:31because I know who I am.
16:33I am a great fucking person
16:35and I put in so much effort
16:36in that relationship.
16:37The difference between
16:38me and Jen
16:39is I'm going to be
16:40straight up and honest
16:41and Jen isn't.
16:42That's actually probably
16:42the biggest lie
16:43that's come out of your mouth.
16:45Jen is actually
16:45the least calculated person
16:47therefore she gets herself
16:47in bad situations.
16:48Yeah, that's not true.
16:49This isn't easy for anyone, Zach.
16:51No, I never said it was.
16:52All of us are mentally unwell.
16:53I can tell.
16:55And I don't think
16:56she should have said that online
16:57but I think there's a part of Jen
16:59that wants the world
16:59to see your true colors
17:00because she's sick of it.
17:02She's sick of you being
17:03fake to her on camera
17:05for the show
17:06for your own gain
17:07and then in real life
17:08she knows you're not
17:09a genuine friend.
17:10This is the most delusional woman
17:11I've ever met.
17:14Whitney's friendship
17:15with Jen has been fake
17:16from the beginning.
17:17Anytime Whitney's been frustrated
17:19or things haven't gone her way
17:20she screams
17:21or she runs away from mom talk.
17:23She's hurt you.
17:23I've never hurt Whitney
17:24and then runs away.
17:26I'm going to start
17:27my own mom talk.
17:29I'm sorry.
17:30They're like
17:31oh Whitney's only back filming
17:32because she wants
17:33Dancing with the Stars.
17:35They're not wrong.
17:36I just think it was
17:36a very transactional friendship.
17:38She's not the main star.
17:40Whitney is not interested in it.
17:42When someone goes on a live
17:43and decides to create
17:45more shit for me
17:46to deal with
17:47that's fucked up.
17:48And I'm sorry for that.
17:50You're not
17:50I don't want to hear
17:51your apology.
17:52I want to hear Jen's
17:53but guess what
17:54she doesn't think
17:55she did anything wrong.
17:56No I don't think
17:57she thinks she
17:58I don't think she cares
17:59to give you an apology.
18:00Of course she doesn't care.
18:02You want to
18:03shout it to the rooftops.
18:04Of course she doesn't care.
18:06Okay.
18:07Do you have anything else
18:08you want to say?
18:10I don't want to talk
18:10about it anymore.
18:11That's fine.
18:12I'm sorry.
18:13I wish you guys the best.
18:15I'm not going to sit here
18:16and try to convince you
18:17the perspective that I have.
18:19I'm not going to sit here
18:20and try to convince you
18:21that what your wife did
18:23was unwarranted.
18:24How she's treated me
18:25is unwarranted.
18:25You are not my friend.
18:27You are not in my circle
18:28and I do not trust you.
18:30Okay.
18:31Hey.
18:32Oh no.
18:34Whitney.
18:35Zach showed up
18:36instead of Jen.
18:37Oh my God.
18:39They're just
18:41every time I talk to them
18:42I just feel
18:43I feel so manipulative
18:46and then I hate
18:47fucking crying
18:47because then the world
18:48is like
18:48oh she's being the victim.
18:50I like
18:51I can't ever fucking win.
18:53And then for you
18:54to sit there
18:54and be like
18:55Jen has done nothing wrong.
18:56It's you
18:57that's not a good friend.
18:58I'm like
18:58what the fuck?
18:59And then he's saying
18:59like basically
19:01that I deserve
19:01all the hate I'm getting.
19:02It's like
19:03go fuck yourself.
19:05I'm going to rip
19:06that man's head off.
19:07My biggest
19:08fucking pet peeve
19:08with me
19:09is when men
19:10try and make women
19:11feel fucking small.
19:13Well guess what?
19:14I feel that way
19:15and I hate
19:16so fucking much
19:17that like
19:17I let it get to me.
19:18I don't know
19:19where I'm at
19:20after this
19:20but what I can control
19:22is not having
19:24Jen and Zach
19:24a part of my life
19:25a part of my circle
19:26and that's what I'm deciding.
19:29She wanted you
19:29to feel like shit.
19:30Mission accomplished Zach.
19:32I hope you feel
19:32like a big strong
19:33fucking man right now.
19:34What a fucking loser.
19:50How are you?
19:51Good.
19:52How are you?
19:53Good to see you.
19:54I know you too.
19:55I'm excited for this.
19:56I feel like we all need it.
19:57You guys look so cozy
19:58and cute.
19:59I know.
19:59I'm so glad we all went
20:00like lounge.
20:01I know.
20:01Because I was like
20:01am I going to look homeless?
20:03Never.
20:03I'm carrying your $6,000
20:04product homeless.
20:06Mom Talk has a lot
20:07going on right now
20:08and Taylor's leaving
20:09for the bachelorette
20:10in a few days
20:11and then after that
20:12I'm hosting my annual
20:13Halloween party.
20:14We should talk about
20:15the guest list though
20:15because with Taylor gone
20:17I'm like okay
20:18who are we inviting?
20:19We can actually have alcohol
20:20because Taylor's gone
20:21which will be fun.
20:22Oh.
20:22Open bar.
20:23Okay so I have Mom Talk
20:24on the list obviously.
20:25Who's left of it?
20:26Dakota.
20:27I think Shania's been invited
20:28because Jordan invited
20:29everyone at Red West
20:30but I don't know
20:31if she would actually show up.
20:33We've been so busy lately
20:34and I'm so excited
20:35to just go
20:36and have fun
20:36and relax today
20:37with Miranda and Layla
20:38at the spa.
20:39Okay.
20:40We can do anything
20:41for 30 seconds.
20:41We'll be different even.
20:43You were married to Chase
20:43you can do it.
20:47That was a frozen tundra.
20:57Straight out
20:57like ice cap
20:59frigid temperatures.
21:01Oh my God.
21:02I'm going to be
21:03the coolest one
21:04I've ever experienced.
21:05I thought this spa
21:06was supposed to be relaxing.
21:07No, I'm not relaxed.
21:11How are you feeling
21:12about all the modeling stuff?
21:13I don't know.
21:13I feel like I'm trying
21:14to like keep my expectations low.
21:16I feel like I put a lot
21:17of my self-worth
21:18into my image.
21:20Having someone say
21:21that like they didn't
21:21want to take me on
21:22even though they didn't
21:23say anything physically
21:24was wrong with me.
21:25I feel like my brain
21:25automatically was like
21:26oh like I'm not small enough
21:27or I'm not pretty enough
21:29but I think more of it
21:30was just like
21:31I feel like I weighed too much.
21:33I'm sure your sample size
21:34is not smaller.
21:35I don't look at myself
21:36that way though.
21:37I weighed myself like
21:38two days ago
21:39when I was 99.
21:43And you're like 5'10
21:455'9
21:48I mean do you know
21:49that that's not super healthy
21:51and when I say healthy
21:53like it doesn't mean
21:55big you know
21:56like healthy is strong.
21:57Yeah.
21:59No I
22:02I just feel like
22:03I like can't
22:04I don't know
22:04I just feel like
22:05I just don't
22:06I don't think I'll ever
22:07be like small enough
22:08in my head
22:08and I know that it's
22:09affecting me
22:10and like
22:10I'm so exhausted
22:11all the time
22:12because I don't eat
22:12and my body hurts
22:14every night
22:14when I go to bed.
22:16What do you mean?
22:17Like I like
22:17would literally
22:18lay down
22:19like
22:19if my knees
22:20are touching
22:20each other
22:21it like hurts
22:21because I don't have
22:22any fat on my body
22:23like cushion it
22:24like I know
22:25that it's going too far
22:26and I'm taking it too far
22:27but I can't stop.
22:28Do you think
22:29are you open
22:30to stopping
22:31Trisepetate?
22:33Nope.
22:34I have been using
22:36weight loss drugs
22:37GLP ones
22:38now for about
22:40a year
22:41I would say
22:42I initially got on them
22:43because I feel like
22:44I just had stubborn weight
22:45that I couldn't get off
22:46but
22:47the thing is
22:48that people don't talk
22:48about how addicting
22:49this is
22:50and how
22:51hard it is
22:52to get off
22:53and
22:53it's just this
22:54ever living
22:55thing
22:56that's so negative
22:57and especially negative
22:58here in Utah
22:59people are obsessed
23:00with how they look
23:01it's a very negative part
23:03of the Utah culture
23:03I can't even count
23:05on both hands
23:06how many people I know
23:07abuse GLP ones
23:08like myself
23:08and it's a real
23:10problem for sure.
23:12When's the last
23:13of you did it?
23:14Last week.
23:16That's what scares me
23:17I don't think you need
23:17to be actively losing
23:18it's hard
23:19and I feel like
23:20everyone
23:20like obviously
23:21everyone's starting
23:21to notice
23:22what it looks like
23:23in my comments
23:23like I can't post
23:25a single video right now
23:26like every single person
23:27saying something
23:28that like
23:28you need to eat
23:29or you're not gonna
23:30be able to show up
23:30to your kids
23:31like you're being
23:31a bad mom
23:32blah blah blah
23:33like all these things
23:33I'm not trying to
23:34like I
23:35yeah
23:35it's not like
23:37well I've noticed
23:38your comments
23:38have switched from like
23:39you're so thin
23:40your arms are so long
23:41to now like
23:42are you okay
23:42and I think that's
23:43kind of the sentiment
23:44we're all
23:46thinking is that
23:46like just are you okay
23:47I feel like for a long
23:49time there
23:49people calling me
23:51ill or saying
23:52that I look sick
23:53or too thin
23:53it was almost
23:54a dopamine rush
23:55for me
23:55because I feel like
23:56with an eating disorder
23:58okay someone's noticing
23:59all this work
23:59that I'm putting in
24:00to look this way
24:01and like it's paying
24:02off in a way
24:03but now I can't even
24:04post a simple ad
24:05to make money
24:06to support my family
24:07without there being
24:09a bunch of comments
24:10on and it's actually
24:10starting to get a lot
24:12that I don't even
24:13want to post right now
24:13because I can't
24:14run away from it
24:18and I don't know
24:18like how to stop
24:19but obviously
24:21like you've always
24:22had to have such
24:22a strong friend
24:23growing up
24:24the way that you
24:24grew up
24:24and I think
24:26when so much
24:26is out of control
24:28it's easy
24:28for you to cling
24:29on to one thing
24:30you can't control
24:31yeah
24:32and I want you to know
24:33that like you do
24:33the work
24:34you have to
24:35have a cat
24:35okay
24:37we're here for you
24:38and we love you
24:41okay
24:42I'm glad to help you
24:44and you don't like
24:45we can help you
24:46be in control
24:46like you don't have
24:47to do it by yourself
24:48okay
24:48like a thread
24:50that starts
24:51and I don't believe
24:55and all the pieces
24:57never seem to fit
24:59when you feel
25:04you can't breathe
25:06when you're lost
25:09in the dark
25:09I'll be here
25:10in your heart
25:11hi buddy
25:21this is Taylor's
25:22last night
25:22before she flies
25:23out for the Bachelorette
25:24and I'm just
25:25dropping Ever off
25:26this is kind of
25:27like the last
25:28like our
25:29our last time
25:30like actually
25:31kind of seeing
25:31each other
25:32before she goes away
25:33and yeah
25:35it kind of feels
25:36surreal
25:37there's part of me
25:38obviously where I want
25:39to go over there
25:40because like
25:40I know she's leaving
25:41like and I'm
25:42I'm not going to
25:42talk to her
25:43I think for like
25:43two months
25:45so yeah
25:45I'd be lying
25:46if I didn't think
25:46there was a piece
25:47of me that just
25:48kind of wanted to go
25:50I don't know
25:50like see her
25:51be with her
25:52like possibly
25:54the last time
25:55like I don't know
26:23Taylor's leaving
26:23Taylor's leaving for the
26:24Bachelorette today
26:25Dakota
26:25what happened
26:26last night
26:29um
26:32um
26:33yeah
26:34I want to take my time
26:36to make my decisions
26:38change what I find
26:40for no damn reason
26:49Espen and I are at
26:51Taylor's house
26:52getting ready to
26:53leave to
26:54California
26:55for the Bachelorette
26:56and we're supposed
26:57to leave
26:58in two hours
26:59Taylor
27:04it's
27:04840
27:07she is not ready
27:09she is still in bed
27:10and she is not
27:12feeling well
27:13what do you
27:14think we should do
27:15we're supposed to be
27:16leaving here like
27:17any minute
27:19by 9
27:19she's still sleeping
27:20you're her mom
27:22no you can talk too
27:23because I'm always
27:24the one that's like
27:24the B
27:26did you talk to Taylor?
27:26yeah
27:26what'd she say
27:27she said she just
27:28doesn't feel like
27:29she's just not
27:30feeling well
27:31she says she can't
27:31get on the plane
27:32and that you guys
27:34can go and she'll
27:35just have to meet me
27:36there
27:37she's just
27:38she's like there's
27:38no way I can get up
27:40right now and go
27:42this is ridiculous
27:44I'm very frustrated
27:46right now
27:47with Taylor
27:47she has this huge
27:49opportunity
27:49and I feel like
27:51a part of me is like
27:52she's not gonna go
27:53I know that you have
27:54anxiety
27:55I know that there's
27:55a lot going on
27:56I know you're sick
27:58I know
27:59you're sick
28:00I know
28:01the same
28:02this is a commitment
28:03that you made
28:04I don't want her to
28:06blow this opportunity
28:07to possibly find love
28:09and also to get on
28:11with her life
28:12Aspen and I
28:12are gonna get on
28:14this plane
28:14and I'm hoping that
28:16Taylor will meet us
28:17there in California
28:18I expect you to be
28:19there tonight
28:20I just
28:21I don't want to tell you
28:25okay you two are
28:26sitting in the very
28:27back right here
28:28yeah oh my gosh
28:30do we have
28:31everything
28:33we're gonna miss
28:34our flight
28:38on our way for
28:39the first week
28:40of Bachelorette
28:41who's not even
28:42coming with us
28:42who's a no-show
28:43mom
28:44you crazy
29:05me and the girls
29:05are at the airport
29:06ready to surprise Taylor
29:07we decided to make signs
29:09for her new adventure
29:10she's been through so much
29:11she kind of send her off
29:12on her little mission
29:13to the Bachelorette
29:14because in our church
29:15when someone goes on a mission
29:16usually when they come home
29:17people have signs
29:18welcoming them back
29:19we all see that a lot
29:20at Salt Lake Airport
29:21so we're sending her off
29:22to her mission
29:23to the Bachelorette
29:24and we're ready for her
29:24to be away from Dakota
29:25and find her real man
29:26we're already getting close
29:28it's great
29:28they are
29:29guys it's 945
29:30it leaves
29:31it leaves at 11
29:32where is she
29:33was she with Dakota
29:34last night again
29:35yes 100%
29:36she was with Dakota
29:37last night
29:37so I am genuinely stressed
29:38that she like
29:39told him like
29:40I'll stay for you
29:41this morning Jordan
29:42heard from Dakota
29:43Taylor slept with Dakota
29:45again last night
29:46go self-sabotage
29:48Jessie tells us
29:49that Jordan told her
29:50that Dakota slept
29:51with Taylor
29:52last night
29:52oh my god
29:54I thought I couldn't
29:55get more disappointed
29:56right when we're like
29:57yes she sees it
29:59she sees her worth
30:00it's like she's going
30:01to the Bachelorette
30:02she's ready to start
30:03this new journey
30:03we're so excited for her
30:04she's back sleeping
30:05with Dakota again
30:06and I'm so disappointed
30:07I'm so disappointed
30:08I'm definitely disappointed
30:09in Taylor
30:10I don't think that
30:11this was a smart move
30:11to do right before
30:12the Bachelorette
30:12to be frank
30:13if I was one of these guys
30:14and I found out
30:15that she effed her baby daddy
30:16the day before meeting me
30:18I would be extremely upset
30:20and pissed
30:20Dakota's trying to pull out
30:21all of his cards
30:22because he's desperate
30:23like he's doing anything
30:25he can to get her to not go
30:27like I'm shocked
30:28but I'm not shocked
30:29at the same time
30:29I'm just tired
30:30I'm so over this
30:31I'm just hoping Dakota
30:32doesn't sneak there
30:33at some point
30:34Dakota's in the checked luggage
30:35let's be honest
30:36is that Ben?
30:37that's not Ben
30:38weird
30:39no that's Ben
30:39shut the fuck up
30:40do you like my sexy socks?
30:42I was just gonna comment
30:43on your sexy socks
30:47wait
30:47that's not them
30:48that's not
30:50oh
30:51it looks exactly like her
30:52I about died you guys
30:54she only has 40 minutes
30:5540 minutes until boarding ends
30:57wait
30:58she's right there
30:58coming down
30:59she's right there
30:59she's right there
31:00I can see that rat's neck
31:02for a mile away
31:02you guys wait
31:03oh that's Aspen
31:04okay
31:05I'm gonna yell
31:06okay that's her mom
31:07that's her mom
31:08there's Aspen
31:08wait where's Taylor
31:09she's right there
31:10wait where is she
31:13but that's Aspen
31:14where's Taylor?
31:16Taylor's not even there
31:17what the hell
31:18where's Taylor?
31:19Aspen's gonna be the bachelorette
31:21oh my gosh
31:22look at that
31:24wait where's Taylor?
31:25oh yeah
31:26where's Taylor?
31:27she's not coming
31:29she's not for real
31:31she's not coming
31:33you're joking
31:34no I'm being dead
31:35you guys heard about this
31:37is it because of Dakota?
31:38oh no
31:39we don't know why
31:40what's going on
31:41she slept with him last night
31:42no sir
31:43for real
31:44no sir
31:45you guys are freaking kidding me
31:47you're joking right?
31:49no
31:50for real
31:51now why the hell are we going and doing all of this?
31:54oh my gosh
31:55it makes me actually very sick
31:57that she would put this whole deal in jeopardy
32:00why isn't she here?
32:02she wouldn't get up
32:03we could not get her up
32:05and she's like
32:05I'm not going right now
32:06I can't do it
32:07you guys
32:08and then she's like
32:09you guys get on the flight and go
32:10okay no
32:11she's gonna send you without going
32:13like what's the point of that?
32:14hey I need you to call me like ASAP
32:16I fucking hate Dakota
32:18and Taylor
32:19I'm like I love my sister
32:20but I'm like
32:21we're both like
32:21pull it out of your ass
32:23and you can't be this mad at Shania
32:24and then give him a pass
32:25and like I'm so
32:26I cannot
32:26ew ew ew
32:27does ABC have a backup plan?
32:29oh I freaking hate him
32:31for real
32:31I know
32:32I know
32:32don't forget to drop your baggage
32:34yeah
32:35she's allowing it
32:36I know
32:36I'm sorry
32:37I'm sorry Leighan
32:38come here give me a hug
32:39I'm sorry
32:40I know
32:41this is so bad you guys
32:43Taylor not showing up at the airport
32:45is not only a bad sign for her
32:47and her journey in the Bachelorette
32:48but also for mom talk
32:49she's going to choose Dakota
32:51who's been kind of ruining her life
32:52for the last three years
32:53over something that is a fresh start
32:56like all of us in mom talk
32:57we've all tried so hard to help her
32:59and we've all been there for her
33:00but I think it backfired on us
33:03I'm like so frustrated
33:04I'm so pissed
33:04I don't even want to get on a plane
33:06no this is
33:06well you guys shouldn't
33:07you shouldn't if she's not coming
33:08she has to go
33:09she has to
33:10she's already announced it
33:11I'm going to go
33:12this flight
33:13and she better be there today
33:14or I'm cutting her freaking off
33:16do you want us to go to her house
33:18and drag her out of bed
33:18tell her she better get there
33:19we've got to rebook a flight
33:20well you could go ahead and tell her
33:21if she doesn't get up and go
33:23that she's losing everybody
33:24her help
33:25I'm done
33:26she'll be done
33:27and I'll be done too
33:28I'll be done
33:30this is so bad
33:31Taylor is like an addict
33:32when it comes to Dakota
33:33we're just trying to help her
33:34we spent hours making these signs
33:36we showed up early at the airport
33:38to be there and send her off
33:39but seeing her mom and kids
33:41come to the airport without her
33:42and saying she's not coming
33:43I'm like great
33:44my worst fears have come true
33:45she's going to sabotage
33:46this entire experience for Dakota
33:48and she's never going to get better
33:50I love you
33:51I'm sorry
33:51I'm so heated
33:52we all are too
33:53so don't worry
33:54yeah go to her house
33:56we need to go take these
33:57to her door and be like
33:58look we were here
33:59to support you
34:00we stomp him
34:10she's not going to let us in
34:11you guys
34:11I don't give a shit
34:12I'm going to break her damn window
34:14by her bed
34:15it's a Sunday
34:16I should be in church
34:17praising the Lord
34:18and here I am
34:20does anyone know her door code
34:21I don't care
34:22but I know there's a big rock
34:23by her window
34:24we can slouch this
34:25I'm just not sure
34:26how to approach this yet
34:27let's approach it in a nice sister
34:27I don't know if we approach it angry
34:28or like
34:29I just don't know
34:30she's not going to answer you guys
34:33do you have a text sent out?
34:35almost
34:35it's locked
34:37that's probably there
34:38you guys should go around back
34:40yeah let's go
34:42tap on the window
34:44oh wait what about this one
34:46no it's locked
34:46I thought it wasn't
34:47oh wait it got in
34:48but there's something there
34:49is it Dakota?
34:50oh my god
34:52what is all of this?
34:53now that we've successfully
34:54broken into Taylor's house
34:55I think we can officially
34:56add breaking and entering
34:57to our resumes
34:59should I wink?
35:01I can't wink
35:03I've been working on it
35:05is she going to be so mad at us?
35:07well Leanne told us to do this
35:08there's her bag like half packed
35:11it's half packed?
35:12yeah
35:13oh my hell Taylor
35:15I think it looks like
35:16she didn't fully go
35:16you guys what do I do?
35:18we're already in here guys
35:19now we can't leave
35:20so we have to just do it
35:21we're already in here
35:22just like pop your head in
35:23just don't like
35:23don't say anything
35:24unless she's awake
35:25because I don't want to wake her up
35:29Taylor?
35:31yeah
35:33hi
35:33who's here?
35:34mom talk
35:35your mom sent us
35:39I mean why are you here?
35:44Taylor you have a responsibility
35:46why aren't you on the plane?
35:52I mean you were with Dakota
35:53last night
35:54you weren't that sick
35:57I mean if you don't want help
36:01we'll leave
36:01but we're just trying to
36:03get you on that
36:05because you said yes
36:06to Bachelorette
36:07you should have said no
36:08you're not well
36:10I'm feeling definitely sick
36:13exhausted
36:13drained
36:14my friends want the best for me
36:15and they're you know
36:16in my house
36:16trying to get me to go
36:17and I really appreciate it
36:18I'm just to a point
36:19where it's like so low
36:20that I don't even want them
36:21to help me
36:21like I'm sorry
36:23but I'm just sick of supporting you
36:24when you keep doing this
36:25your mom's pissed
36:26your sister's pissed
36:26like you're sending them
36:27to LA with your kids
36:28and you can't show up
36:30like just say no
36:31to the Bachelorette
36:32sucks that we woke up
36:33at 6am to be there for you
36:34so over it
36:37all of us girls
36:38are honestly going through
36:39a lot right now
36:40Michaela and Jace's marriage
36:41is going through
36:42a really hard time
36:43Jessie's contemplating
36:44divorce every day
36:45I'm dealing with
36:46my eating disorder
36:47and the last thing
36:48that we need
36:48is our leader
36:49Taylor
36:50to be falling apart
36:51as well
36:51I just feel like
36:52she's kind of
36:53the glue to this group
36:54and if she's not doing well
36:55then mom talk
36:57is not doing well either
36:58let's just go
36:59and let her
37:00deconstruct on her own
37:01okay we'll leave Taylor
37:02but we hope that you make
37:04one of the later flights today
37:05go talk to Dakota
37:06because you can talk to him
37:07and not us
37:24thank you for talking
37:25to Whitney for me
37:26yesterday
37:27are you eventually
37:28interested in talking to her
37:29are you just done
37:30with this friendship
37:32I don't owe her anything
37:33I literally told her
37:34I said Whitney
37:35if anything
37:36Jen's the least manipulative
37:37calculated person I know
37:39in fact she's so
37:40not calculated
37:41that like she gets
37:42herself in trouble
37:42Jen wasn't planning
37:43on doing a live
37:44if she wanted to expose you
37:45for the way you've treated her
37:46she would have already
37:47watched the live
37:48it was very much
37:49should I have said that
37:50no
37:51someone asked me
37:51if I'm rooting for her
37:52and I say no
37:53and now I owe her
37:55an apology
37:55that's what I told her
37:56I said I'm sorry
37:57I'm not rooting for you
37:59were you not just
38:00saying F you to me
38:01last week
38:03do you see yourself
38:04ever being friends
38:06with Whitney again
38:10holy shit
38:11fuck you
38:13well
38:13I mean
38:16Whitney's
38:16to me
38:172.0
38:18like I have no interest
38:19in
38:21being friends
38:22interacting
38:23I'll always be cordial
38:24but like
38:26it feels like
38:27Whitney ruined
38:28enough of the experience
38:29and it's sad to me
38:30that now that it's over
38:30we're still
38:31talking about it
38:32and it feels like
38:33it feels like
38:34she's like a parasite
38:34and no matter
38:35what thing we do
38:36it always
38:37like we can never
38:38just enjoy the experience
38:39for what it is
38:40and take the positives
38:41and I just want to like
38:42focus on what you
38:42accomplished
38:43and the positives
38:44you took away
38:45you becoming a better dancer
38:46you growing as a person
38:47like that's what I wish
38:48we were talking about
38:49not Whitney and her drama
38:50yeah
38:51when I got eliminated
38:53honestly I was
38:55so sad
38:59gosh
39:00I think the hardest part
39:01about leaving
39:02Dancing with the Stars
39:05was how much it brought
39:07back my authentic self
39:09and so when that
39:11journey was over
39:12I felt like it was
39:13almost stripped from me
39:15and so I just remember
39:16praying to God
39:17just being like
39:18oh please don't
39:19let that version of myself
39:21go away
39:21things are ever gonna go
39:23right
39:23whenever talking to Whitney
39:27to be honest
39:28I think that's why
39:29I want to go back
39:29to Utah
39:30is I want to regroup
39:32go back to my family
39:33and friends
39:34and just really figure out
39:35what it is that I want
39:36I think we need to go
39:37do something fun
39:38we need to get out
39:39of the house
39:39and just go
39:40I want to go to the beach
39:41yeah we need to go
39:42to the beach
39:58this is the thing
39:59with being a part
40:00of mom talk
40:00is there are going
40:01to be relationships
40:02that ebb and flow
40:04but with Jen
40:04not even bothering
40:05to show up
40:06it seems that my
40:06friendship with her
40:07is officially
40:08coming to an end
40:09can I still be in
40:10this group
40:11and have Jen
40:11in the group
40:12absolutely
40:12because I'm actually
40:14a mature adult
40:15right now
40:15my focus is on
40:16bringing home
40:17that mirror ball
40:18and then I need to
40:19pack for New York City
40:22and what's in New York City
40:25Roxy Hart
40:28it's official
40:29I booked the lead role
40:31in Chicago
40:31and I'm heading
40:32to Broadway
40:50I am scared to find
40:52a guy that will
40:53love me back
40:54and also
40:56be willing to deal
40:57with a couple
40:57baby daddies
40:58and kids
41:00but I think
41:01if I don't take
41:02this step
41:02I do stay stagnant
41:03in where I'm at
41:04this is not only
41:05like an opportunity
41:06I think for just
41:07finding someone
41:08this is an opportunity
41:08to get away
41:09from the toxicity
41:10I'm in here
41:12and I want out of it
41:15stop
41:16if you're running
41:18all wanting
41:20that American dream
41:22stop
41:23you're wild wanting
41:25the sweet nothing
41:27honey
41:29I got a later flight
41:31I am in LA
41:33I am exhausted
41:34but I'm here
41:35and I'm happy
41:36that I made it
41:38hello
41:47hi
41:48hi
41:50did you make it?
41:52I did
41:52how was it?
41:55good
41:55just really tired
41:58yeah I bet
41:59same
41:59Taylor just landed
42:01and I feel like
42:02this is the last chance
42:02they'll be able
42:03to kind of
42:05I don't know
42:05even like express
42:06to her
42:06how I feel
42:08essentially just
42:09the fact of
42:09I've always wanted you
42:12I do just want
42:14to say sorry
42:16for everything
42:17that I did
42:18I know that
42:19that caused
42:20a lot of problems
42:21can you be more
42:22specific
42:23what you're talking about?
42:23with Shania
42:25for doing what?
42:26what did you do?
42:27even with you
42:27for you know
42:28what I did
42:28for hooking up
42:29with her
42:30well be specific
42:31if you're going to
42:31apologize
42:32well I think
42:33I think everybody
42:33knows that
42:34I want to hear it
42:35yes
42:36I want to hear
42:37how sorry you are
42:37for what you did
42:38I know I am
42:39Taylor
42:40I'm sorry for what I did
42:41I'm sorry for hooking up
42:43with Shania
42:43was it dumb of me
42:45yes
42:45could I pick someone else
42:47yes
42:48like who it was
42:49matters
42:50and that's where
42:51I think I went wrong
42:52and I picked somebody
42:53that
42:55I mean
42:55obviously
42:56yeah
42:56it was going to come
42:57with problems
42:58and
43:00I think that was
43:00like very shitty
43:01of me to do
43:03thank you
43:04and I put you
43:04in a shitty spot
43:05and I know
43:06that hurt you
43:06really bad
43:07the apology
43:08is just words
43:09like it always is
43:10how many times
43:11can he do this
43:11where you believe it
43:12and you suck back
43:13into it
43:13and it's not true
43:15wake up
43:16I think there's
43:16a lot of pain
43:17I think there's
43:18a lot of things
43:18we've done
43:18to hurt each other
43:20but overall
43:20I still think
43:21we love each other
43:22it's toxic
43:23that's the issue
43:24I know it is toxic
43:25I agree
43:26but that's the thing
43:27is I also
43:28it doesn't have
43:28to be this way
43:29we make it toxic
43:31it doesn't have
43:32to be that way
43:32this would be
43:33the best thing for us
43:34regardless of like
43:35what happens
43:35for you and me
43:37like this would be
43:37the best like
43:39break and break off
43:40of like our cycles
43:41and I think you could
43:41do a lot of healing
43:42but it's up to you
43:43really
43:44what you do
43:45I just feel like
43:46I don't know
43:47like I am
43:48I'm happy for you
43:49like I want you
43:50to be happy
43:50and if you
43:50and that's what I'm saying
43:51if you do find
43:52someone like great
43:53but all I'm gonna say
43:57is save a rose
43:58for me
43:58okay
44:00like if you don't
44:01find someone
44:02like I know
44:02I've been acting
44:03like such a dumbass
44:05and I've kind of
44:06just like fell
44:06completely away
44:07from who I am
44:08and
44:10like that's
44:11that's why I love you
44:12it's like
44:14like you're the only
44:15person that could
44:16help me see that
44:17sometimes
44:17I'm just like
44:19hey
44:20like this isn't
44:21who you are
44:22it's just not
44:24I think that's
44:25nice and clear
44:25to anybody
44:26Dakota
44:27what
44:29say it
44:31that there's
44:31feelings there
44:32obviously
44:33can you just
44:34admit that
44:35you still love
44:35me
44:37I love you
44:37and I hate you
44:39I think talking
44:40to Dakota
44:41is not
44:42a good idea
44:43but it's a hard
44:44pill to swallow
44:44that it's done
44:45and I need to
44:45move on
44:46it hurts
44:47just say it
44:47like
44:48oh
44:50at the end
44:50of the day
44:51I do think
44:51it's an opportunity
44:52to get away
44:52from him
44:53absolutely
44:53it's like
44:54a dream come true
44:54okay
44:55they're about to
44:55film me
44:56okay
44:57save me a rose
44:58say it
44:58save me a rose
45:03so just let me know
45:06okay bye
45:23the night is finally here
45:24it's my annual
45:25Halloween party
45:26last year at the
45:27Halloween party
45:27there was a lot of
45:28rowdiness
45:28I have no idea
45:29how this is gonna go
45:30down
45:31but this year
45:31I'm hoping that
45:32tonight we can just
45:33have a chance to relax
45:34and maybe have
45:35one night of fun
45:37I am so happy
45:39to hear that Taylor
45:39finally caught a flight
45:40to LA for the
45:41bachelorette
45:42things with Taylor
45:42and mom talk
45:43feel a little
45:44unresolved right now
45:45but I feel like
45:46the bachelorette
45:47is gonna be like
45:47an eight week detox
45:49where she can't
45:50talk to Dakota
45:50and it couldn't be
45:51coming at a better
45:52time
45:53are you Blair
45:54I'm the new
45:55queen bee
45:55obviously
45:56I should have known
45:57thank you
46:00look at
46:00she's Blair
46:14it's still kind of
46:15awkward because I
46:16still haven't told
46:16the other girls
46:17kind of the state
46:18of where Jace and I
46:19are at and they
46:20don't know that the
46:21two of us are living
46:22separately currently
46:24and Macy's the only
46:25one that knows
46:25I like my alone time
46:27for sure
46:27but also I'm like
46:29I don't like being
46:30alone at the same
46:31time
46:31I'm just hoping
46:32it gets better
46:34and I just don't
46:35want this information
46:36in someone's hand
46:37like Jordan
46:38who has a big mouth
46:39Jeff Bass is here
46:40whoa
46:42hi
46:42I think it's
46:44definitely hitting me
46:45the gravity of
46:46being separated
46:47and what that looks
46:48like
46:48I think there's
46:49part of me that
46:50is definitely
46:51scared to lose
46:53him because I
46:53don't know
46:54how long it's
46:55going to take
46:55and I don't
46:56know how long
46:57he can be
46:57patient for
46:59yeah
47:00I don't know
47:00I don't know
47:01how to feel
47:01about it
47:07Dan Humphrey
47:08you're hot
47:08you're clean
47:09you're hot
47:11you guys did
47:12so good
47:13you were so good
47:14I like love
47:16this vibe on you
47:17naughty schoolgirl
47:19he liked it
47:22I'm obsessed
47:35I'm very grateful
47:36for Jessie and
47:37Miranda and how
47:37supportive they've
47:38been for me
47:38throughout this
47:39hard time
47:41sometimes when
47:42you're in the midst
47:42of an eating
47:43disorder it feels
47:44like you're never
47:45gonna be better
47:48and you're never
47:48gonna like
47:50overcome it
47:50however Jessie found
47:52one of the number
47:53one eating disorder
47:53facilities here in
47:54the U.S.
47:55which is amazing
47:59hi Layla
47:59thank you so much
48:00for coming
48:01thank you
48:01I'm a little
48:02nervous definitely
48:04I'm like I don't
48:04know what to expect
48:05okay we have all
48:06options we have
48:0624-hour care we
48:08have outpatient
48:08so we'll just kind
48:09of see what kind
48:10of fits your needs
48:11what you're looking
48:12for
48:12I was definitely
48:13anxious going into
48:14the center
48:14they kept telling
48:15me that they
48:15weren't gonna check
48:16me in and have
48:17me be impatient
48:18but that didn't
48:19happen so that's
48:20good
48:20are you guys
48:20are you all
48:21schoolgirls
48:22like what's
48:22going on
48:22how are you
48:24I've listened
48:24to your book
48:26I'm like I'm
48:26an hour left
48:27it's fucking
48:28so good
48:29I'm actually
48:30shocked to hear
48:30that Mason
48:31read my book
48:31and he was
48:32saying how
48:32much he
48:32loved it
48:33which I
48:33was like
48:33wait what
48:34I like
48:34sorry I
48:35didn't know
48:35guys like
48:36read books
48:36maybe that's
48:37so horrible
48:38of me to
48:38say but like
48:39despite everything
48:40going on in
48:40mom talk right
48:41now the reason
48:42why I wrote
48:42this book was
48:43to inspire
48:44I think that's
48:44what keeps me
48:45fighting to save
48:46my friend group
48:47to save mom
48:47talk and keep
48:48them away from
48:49all these toxic
48:50because I've
48:50been through
48:50a lot of
48:51challenges
48:52heartbreaks
48:52hardships
48:52and I just
48:53want my friends
48:54to be happy
48:54I just want us
48:55to thrive
48:55and that's
48:56a big purpose
48:56behind what I
48:58do
48:58it looks like
49:05his type
49:06so
49:06we're like
49:07we're like
49:07we're trying
49:08to figure it
49:08out
49:15you're crazy
49:17I'm not
49:18crazy
49:18I could not
49:20believe you're
49:21here
49:24so Shania
49:25shows up
49:26and damn
49:28this is a
49:29tough spot
49:30so it feels
49:31a little awkward
49:31obviously like
49:32seeing her
49:33the last thing
49:34I want
49:34is for us
49:35to have some
49:36shit show
49:36happen like
49:37the last
49:38Halloween
49:38why is he
49:39talking to
49:39Shania
49:40they're back
49:41together
49:42he's so dumb
49:43for doing this
49:44right now
49:44I'm glad we
49:45made a sex
49:45pack for sure
49:46that was cool
49:46yeah that was
49:47badass huh
49:48I want
49:49to be fair
49:50I also thought
49:50it was gonna
49:51last a lot
49:52longer than
49:52what it did
49:53you broke it
49:54not me
49:55I know
49:55hang on
49:57no no no
49:58oh my gosh
49:59okay
50:00technically
50:01okay
50:01oh fuck
50:03Dakota
50:04I didn't even
50:05well I never
50:06got the chance
50:07to even tell you
50:07this
50:08so
50:10yeah you're
50:11gonna fucking
50:11hate it
50:11but
50:13you already
50:13know
50:14probably
50:15it was
50:16freaking
50:17Taylor
50:18the truth
50:19is
50:20this
50:21right now
50:21okay
50:22this is what
50:23I am right
50:24now
50:24I'm like
50:24I'm just
50:25emotionally
50:26like
50:26I think
50:27a little bit
50:28more messed up
50:28than I thought
50:29I thought
50:30I could maybe
50:30do it
50:31I would love
50:31to be with
50:32Taylor
50:32I would love
50:33that opportunity
50:33and maybe
50:34there's a chance
50:34that this could
50:35be something
50:35that she needs
50:37if she goes
50:37out and dates
50:38like 30
50:38handpicked
50:39men for her
50:40and ends
50:41up choosing
50:42me at the
50:42end I feel
50:42like that's
50:43also maybe
50:43like a good
50:44sign
50:44for her
50:45like
50:46maybe that
50:46would help
50:47her
50:47yeah
50:48but I'm also
50:48again
50:49I'm in a
50:50position to
50:50where I
50:51don't think
50:51I can sit
50:52and rely
50:52on that
50:53either
50:53of having
50:54that hope
50:55I do
50:55what did
50:56you know
50:56I really
50:57did care
50:57a lot
50:58about
50:58like how
50:59everything
51:00went down
51:00and that
51:00was really
51:01hard to
51:01watch
51:02and
51:03I'm like
51:04sorry
51:04you had
51:04to go
51:04through that
51:05I just
51:06don't ever
51:06wanted to
51:07come back
51:07on brand
51:07and that's
51:08my only
51:08thing
51:09that I
51:09care about
51:09being
51:10back
51:10in
51:10mom talk
51:11it's
51:11no secret
51:12that Taylor
51:13and I
51:13have kind
51:14of been
51:15through hell
51:15I mean
51:16it's been
51:17one thing
51:17after the
51:18next
51:18it seems
51:19you think
51:20Taylor should
51:20still be
51:21leading
51:21mom talk
51:23personally
51:23you know
51:24maybe we
51:25just raw
51:26dog
51:26mom talk
51:27no leader
51:32we have
51:34come so far
51:35in just
51:36the last
51:36few years
51:37especially
51:37here in the
51:38Utah
51:38Mormon
51:38culture
51:39because
51:39mom talk
51:39has flipped
51:40typical
51:40gender roles
51:41we're
51:41breadwinners
51:42not trad
51:43wives
51:43with
51:43Taylor
51:44being
51:44bachelorette
51:45Whitney
51:45and Jen
51:45doing
51:46Dancing
51:46with
51:46the
51:46stars
51:46Macy
51:47and her
51:47book
51:47event
51:48Layla
51:48and
51:49modeling
51:49we all
51:49have so
51:50many cool
51:50things happening
51:51for us
51:51it really
51:53is true
51:54that in
51:54life
51:54what you
51:55do doesn't
51:55matter
51:56it's who
51:56you spend
51:56your time
51:57with
51:57so having
51:58a good
51:58supportive
51:59group of
51:59friends
51:59makes your
52:00accomplishments
52:01even better
52:02I'm not here
52:03because I need
52:03to pray
52:04okay
52:05I needed to
52:06talk to
52:07somebody about
52:07this because
52:08like it's
52:09kind of been
52:09freaking me out
52:10a little bit
52:10but like Taylor
52:11told me
52:11like the last
52:13time that we
52:14did it
52:14that she was
52:16like ovulating
52:20so she could
52:21be pregnant
52:22like Taylor
52:23randomly in
52:24bed she goes
52:25she's like I
52:25haven't had my
52:26period yet
52:26and I was
52:27like I was
52:27like from
52:28like when
52:29like and
52:29then she told
52:30me I was
52:30like whoa
52:31hang on
52:31okay
52:32is she gonna
52:33be a pregnant
52:34bachelorette
52:35that's what
52:35I'm freaking
52:36but because
52:36they took
52:37her damn
52:37phone before
52:38I could
52:38ask her
52:39and say
52:39hey have
52:40you
52:40did you
52:40start your
52:41period
52:41or what's
52:41going on
52:42this is a
52:42movie
52:43deep down
52:44like you have
52:44symptoms
52:45you know if
52:45you're pregnant
52:46like especially
52:47then I was
52:48trying to think
52:48about like how
52:49emotional
52:49she's been
52:50lately
52:50she's been
52:51a little erratic
52:52yeah like a
52:52little bit more
52:53to where I was
52:53like Dakota
52:54this is so bad
52:55and then she's
52:55like sick a few
52:56times like I
52:56remember telling
52:56me she felt
52:57sick a little
52:57bit
52:57but I just
52:59don't I
53:00don't know
53:00anything
53:02can you
53:02fucking imagine
53:03you guys like
53:04she's the
53:05bachelorette and
53:05she's pregnant
53:06like that's
53:06never happened
53:07I don't feel
53:07like they could
53:08keep her on
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