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Watch How I Met Your Mother () The Wedding ( AMZN WEB DL x265 Silence) Season 1 Episode 12 online in HD on Dailymotion (2005).
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00:14When you're single and your friends start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a
00:18strange moment of self-evaluation. Will you be bringing a guest or will you be attending alone?
00:24What it's really asking is, where do you see yourself in three months?
00:28Sitting next to your girlfriend or hitting on a bridesmaid? I always checked that I was
00:33bringing a guest. I was an optimist. Who the hell am I going to bring to this wedding?
00:40Ted, have you ignored all my teachings? For the most part, yeah. You don't bring a date
00:45to a wedding. That's like bringing a deer carcass on a hunting trip. Oh, Ted, oh, Ted, no, no date.
00:51Deer carcass, really? That's the metaphor you're going with here? Ted, it's a simile.
00:55Well, it's too late now. If I don't bring a date, a $200 piece of chicken slash salmon
01:00will go uneaten. I got to bring someone, but who?
01:02Of course I knew who I wanted to bring. Robin, the big unanswered question in my life.
01:08Problem was, she was dating this really rich guy named Derek. Derek.
01:14Well, Derek and I just broke up. Oh, no, that's terrible. Are you okay?
01:20Yeah, do you need a drink or something? Yeah, it never really clicked. I felt bad, though. He was
01:24pretty bummed. Yeah, don't beat yourself up. He'll be fine. I mean, the guy's like a billionaire.
01:29He can put his platinum card on a fishing line and reel in 10 chicks hotter than you.
01:33Thanks. I feel a lot better. I think I'll get that drink now.
01:39Okay, guys, I got to say something. I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing.
01:46Aw, please. They were buried in a shallow grave.
01:49Not again. Come on, dude. We all know how this movie ends. Ted falls in love, love kicks Ted in
01:56the sprouts, roll credits.
01:58No, you guys just have to look at the whole picture. Fact, Robin was into me when we first met.
02:05Fact, even though she didn't want a relationship, we had an amazing kiss on the roof. Fact, on New Year's
02:11Eve, we kissed again. Fact, I need a date to this wedding. Wish me luck.
02:18What I don't get is, why is Claudia marrying Stuart? She's way hotter than him. How way? Way, way.
02:27This wedding does sound pretty amazing, though. Fancy hotel ballroom. Everybody all dressed up.
02:34Oh, here we go. What?
02:36We can't get anywhere with our wedding plans because I want it to be fun and Marsha wants it to
02:41be lame.
02:42Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a pretty fair assessment of our two arguments.
02:44I thought so.
02:45You know what? Excuse me if I don't want to get married barefoot in the woods next to Lake. No
02:50one's going to drive that far.
02:52Yes. I want a ballroom. And I want a band. And I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day
02:59since I was, like...
03:00A little girl?
03:02What up?
03:03Okay. I'm just saying that it's my wedding, too, and I should have a say in it.
03:07Yes, but I'm the bride, so I win.
03:09Well, I thought marriage was about two equal partners sharing a life together.
03:13Right, but I'm the bride, so I win.
03:16I mean, seriously, Claudia and Stuart?
03:18I mean, I've hooked up with the odd lass who was beneath my level of attractiveness, but, you know, I
03:23was drunk.
03:24There's no way Claudia has been drunk for three years.
03:27You know, I've always found that the best way to get over a failed relationship is to celebrate someone else's
03:33successful one.
03:34Oh, makes sense.
03:36So, with that in mind, our friends Claudia and Stuart are having this crazy black-tie wedding on Saturday.
03:41You want to be my plus one?
03:42Ooh, plus one. You make it sound so romantic.
03:46Fine.
03:49You want to be my date?
03:51Your date?
03:53I'd love to.
03:55Um, how fancy are we talking about here?
03:56Oh, you're going to want to bring your A-game.
03:58Oh, I'll bring it.
04:00I'll bring it so hard the bride's going to look like a big white bag of crap.
04:05Lily, I need a dress.
04:07You're going? That's awesome.
04:08Oh, my God. Four days to find a dress?
04:10I know. It's a suicide mission.
04:12Well, if we leave now, we can still have a fighting chance. Let's do it.
04:16Bye, babe.
04:18Whoa. Did you see how fired up she was?
04:21I don't know. There's something there.
04:22And come Saturday, a little music, a little dancing, a lot of champagne. Who knows?
04:26Wow, Ted, you're going to have to find another gender for yourself, because I'm revoking your dude membership.
04:32Yeah. How was that manicure yesterday?
04:36Invigorating. Thanks.
04:38Okay, I wasn't going to say it in front of the guys, but back then I really thought that's how
04:43it worked.
04:48You put yourself and a girl you like in some romantic setting.
05:00I know now that life is never that simple.
05:03Hey, Claudia.
05:05Yes, I want Tahitian vanilla. You wrote it down wrong.
05:09No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me.
05:11If I go to my wedding and the cake is not Tahitian vanilla, I will come down there and burn
05:14your little shop to the ground.
05:16Do you want to find out if I'm kidding?
05:18Yeah, goodbye.
05:22Hey! How's it going?
05:24My wedding is in two days. That's how it's going.
05:26Oh, don't worry. It's going to be great. I'm so excited.
05:29Well, you should be. Lots of single girls.
05:31Oh, well, yeah. I'm bringing a date, so I'll be off the market.
05:35What?
05:36I'm bringing a date.
05:37You're not bringing a date.
05:39Uh, yes, I am.
05:41Uh, no, you're not.
05:43I checked plus one.
05:44No, you didn't.
05:46Claudia, I'm pretty sure I checked...
05:47Ted, you did not check plus one. You are not bringing a date to my wedding.
05:57But I already invited someone.
05:59You are not bringing a guest, Ted. The guest list has been closed for months. Months.
06:03But I checked plus one. I always check plus one.
06:06You absolutely did not check plus one.
06:08If you had checked plus one, I would have called you to get the name of your guest so I
06:11could have the place cards printed out.
06:12Did I call you to get the name of your guest? Is there a place card with her name printed
06:15on it?
06:15She doesn't need a place card. She knows her name.
06:18What's she eating? You ordered the chicken. What did she order?
06:20Do you see how your story is full of holes?
06:23Come on, Claudia. We go way back. Isn't there room for just one more person?
06:27Don't make me hurt you, Ted.
06:30I don't believe this. Claudia's crazy.
06:33But to be fair, she's also hot.
06:35I totally checked plus one. I'm sure I did.
06:38Yeah, right.
06:38I did.
06:39Yeah, I don't think you did. You know why?
06:41Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date.
06:44See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down, you're single.
06:49It's your default setting.
06:51Ted, you know what's in the back of your brain?
06:53Oh, great. Here comes a little Barney speech.
06:56Behind a curtain in a dark little room, secretly controlling your every move.
07:00A little Barney.
07:03A little Barney.
07:05And you know what he said?
07:07Ted, you will bring no dates to this wedding.
07:11You will hit on drunk bridesmaids with actual-sized Barney.
07:16Well, please, stop.
07:18I gotta call Claudia. If I just explain to her...
07:21Ted, no. Let it go.
07:22She's about to get married. She's got enough to worry about.
07:25Then what am I gonna do?
07:26The only thing you can do, tell Robin she can't come.
07:34Just a second!
07:37Hey.
07:38Hey, listen.
07:39Wait, two things. First of all, I have been laying groundwork all afternoon.
07:43Totally settled, totally cool, not pushing, not even nudging.
07:46Just the theme of today is Ted rocks.
07:49And she's picking up what I'm laying down.
07:50Lily, there's a problem.
07:51Wait, no. Thing number two, the dress.
07:54We gotta dress.
07:58Go.
08:01Well, did I bring it, or did I bring it?
08:06I think I brought it.
08:09Wow.
08:10That's what I was going for.
08:13I'm so excited about tomorrow. We're gonna have so much fun.
08:16Yeah, about that.
08:20I'll pick you up at five.
08:29So, the dress?
08:31I don't have a plus one for the wedding.
08:33What?
08:34I ran into Claudia, and she told me I didn't check plus one on the reply card.
08:38Why didn't you check plus one?
08:39I did check plus one.
08:40But Robin is so excited.
08:42I know.
08:43And the dress.
08:44I know.
08:45Oh.
08:46Okay, okay, we'll sneak her in.
08:48We can't sneak her in. We're not ninjas.
08:50Oh, I wish we were ninjas.
08:52I know.
08:54You could always ask Stuart.
08:56Can I do that?
08:57Well, sure.
08:58You guys have been friends for a long time.
09:01And it's 40% his wedding, too.
09:04I don't know.
09:05It's only a tough sell.
09:06Dude, no problem whatsoever.
09:08Really?
09:09Sure, the more the merrier.
09:11Wow.
09:12Wow, thanks for being so cool about this.
09:14Because, you know, Claudia said...
09:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:15This morning at the rehearsal, Claudia called our seven-year-old flower girl a whore.
09:20So, don't take it personally.
09:21She's just a little stressed.
09:23Yeah, she's not usually like that.
09:24No.
09:28Well, thanks, Stu.
09:29It's gonna be a great wedding.
09:34Honey, this magazine says more and more couples are opting to have nontraditional weddings out in the woods.
09:40Well, if a magazine says so, we should go get married in the woods like a couple of squirrels.
09:45Squirrels don't get married, Marshall.
09:48Like you could possibly know that.
09:51I did it.
09:52I did it.
09:53I'm taking her to the wedding.
09:54Nice.
09:55What?
09:55How?
09:55I talked to Stuart.
09:57Oh.
09:57You went around the bride.
09:59Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless.
10:02Maybe I'll poke it with a stick.
10:04Oh, look, some gremlins.
10:05Let me go feed them after midnight.
10:07Did you know about this?
10:09It may have been my idea.
10:12What?
10:13Stuart doesn't get a say?
10:15Ah, so you admit it.
10:16The groom should have an equal say.
10:18Oh, yeah, sure, on the stupid stuff like who comes.
10:22So I can invite whoever I want.
10:24Sure, there's plenty of room in the woods.
10:29It's Claudia.
10:30Oh, so it begins.
10:33Come on, it can't be that bad.
10:36Here, Lily, you answer it.
10:37What?
10:38Why?
10:38Because this whole thing was your idea.
10:40And Claudia scares me.
10:41But you're the guy who just want to...
10:43Oh.
10:45Ted's phone.
10:47Oh, hi, Claudia.
10:49What?
10:50Now, I wasn't there.
10:51But from what I heard, it went something like this.
10:54Oh, by the way, honey, Ted stopped by,
10:56and I told him he could bring his date to the wedding.
10:59You what?
10:59I told him he could bring his date to the wedding.
11:01I don't have a deal.
11:01I don't have a problem with the way I'm dating.
11:02You should just tell me instead of always undermining me at every turn.
11:05Fitz, when did you come for a man every day in the past 18 months?
11:07Who's just the justification that I've got?
11:08You try to show a little flexibility.
11:10But no, it's all about you.
11:15And your mother calling me all the time.
11:20You know what?
11:21The wedding's off.
11:26They broke up.
11:28Ow!
11:28Uh-huh.
11:29Uh-huh.
11:30It's not because of me, is it?
11:32Uh-huh.
11:32My dad already paid for this huge wedding.
11:36Oh, he's gonna kill me.
11:38Then he's gonna kill Ted.
11:40Then I'm gonna kill Ted.
11:42Robin.
11:43Answer it.
11:44Uh, Lily's phone.
11:46Ted, where's Lily?
11:47I need to tell her about these awesome shoes I just bought.
11:50Uh, Lily's busy.
11:52Oh, okay.
11:53Well, I just wanted to say they're gorgeous, and Ted's gonna love them.
11:56That's great.
11:56I'll tell Lily to tell me.
11:58Uh, listen.
11:59I really want to keep talking.
12:00Um, but now's not a good time.
12:01So, um, I'm really excited about tomorrow.
12:03Okay, bye.
12:04Okay, bye.
12:04Crap.
12:05She bought some expensive shoes.
12:06She's really looking forward to this.
12:09Do you think she's into me?
12:10Ted, focus.
12:11Okay, okay, sweetie.
12:12We, just calm down.
12:14Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
12:15I want to go somewhere and drink.
12:18Okay.
12:18Meet me at McLaren's.
12:20I'll see you there.
12:21Oh, I feel terrible.
12:23Well, feel terrible later.
12:24Right now, we gotta fix this.
12:25Lily, you go down to the bar and comfort Claudia.
12:27Ted and I will go and try to talk some sense into Stuart.
12:29All right.
12:30Um, tell Claudia I'm sorry.
12:32Did she seem pissed at me?
12:32She said if there's no wedding tomorrow, you owe her father $400,000.
12:38What say we get these crazy kids back together?
12:46My sad eyes.
12:48I almost got you down.
12:51Stuart and I just broke up.
12:54Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
12:57That's just, that's...
12:58Two vodka cranberries, please.
13:00Oh, you remembered I drink vodka cranberries.
13:04Remember?
13:05When it comes to you, how can I forget?
13:10They all drink vodka cranberries.
13:14So, is there anything else you need, sweetie?
13:19You got $400,000?
13:21No.
13:22No.
13:23But I do have a hug.
13:38Stuart, I don't know what to say.
13:40If I caused this in any way...
13:41Ted, for all I know, you did me the biggest favor anyone's ever done me.
13:44Oh, come on, man.
13:45You don't mean that.
13:45No, I do.
13:46This whole thing's made me realize I miss being single.
13:49I miss staying out late and making messes and not cleaning them up.
13:52I miss owning porn.
13:54Dude, who doesn't?
13:55And, you know, I'll see some super hot model chick and I'll think,
13:59why am I with Claudia?
14:00I can be with her.
14:01That's just crazy.
14:04I mean, you're the luckiest...
14:06You and Claudia both are the luckiest...
14:07The point is, I want to get married.
14:09I want to settle down.
14:10But right now, that's just not who I am.
14:11I'm not a commitment guy.
14:12I'm a single guy.
14:13Stuart, you don't have to be one or the other.
14:16Everybody feels this way sometimes.
14:19Relationships aren't easy.
14:20They're hard work.
14:21It's about compromise, growing together, all that Dr. Phil crap.
14:24How would you know you're not even married?
14:26Okay, ask this guy.
14:28Nine years he's been with Lily.
14:29He's the pro.
14:30This guy knows relationships.
14:31Tell him, Marshall.
14:34Stuart, don't get married.
14:35Dude, I'm sorry.
14:38Being in a couple is hard.
14:40And committing, making sacrifices, it's hard.
14:42But if it's the right person, then it's easy.
14:46Looking at that girl and knowing she's all you really want out of life,
14:48that should be the easiest thing in the world.
14:50And if it's not like that, then she's not the one.
14:54I'm sorry.
15:00You know I don't have $400,000, right?
15:04Maybe we got together too young.
15:06Maybe that's what the problem was.
15:08I mean, I'm 28 years old, and I've really only ever been with one man.
15:18That's just...
15:19That's two more vodka cranberries, please.
15:26Claudia, it's all gonna be okay.
15:30Thanks for listening, Barney.
15:33It really means a lot to me.
15:36Isn't it weird that we should run into each other like this?
15:40Two souls of equal levels of attractiveness.
15:46Both fitting together like two pieces of a very attractive puzzle.
15:53Oh, hell no.
15:54Ow.
15:55Ow.
15:57Claudia is getting married tomorrow, and so help me God,
16:00if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her,
16:03I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles,
16:06and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out,
16:09and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
16:12Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
16:14One of each.
16:15All right.
16:16All right.
16:18Claudia.
16:21Stuart, I'm so sorry.
16:22I'm so sorry, too.
16:24I love you.
16:25I love you, too, babe.
16:27Marshall and Ted sent me straight,
16:28and when Marshall told me not to marry you,
16:30it made me realize that I...
16:31Marshall said what?
16:32It's complicated than that.
16:34You made me realize how much I love you.
16:36These guys got us back together.
16:38Yeah, I'm cool.
16:38I'm cool.
16:54So, where'd we land on the whole plus-one thing?
16:57Ow!
16:58Wow!
16:59It took three more vodka cranberries to subdue Claudia,
17:03but eventually she graciously agreed to let me bring Robin.
17:10Still wow.
17:12Wow yourself.
17:13Look who else brought it.
17:14Oh, yeah.
17:15I thought about leaving it at home,
17:17but I figured I don't want to get there
17:19and realize I need it
17:20and have to go all the way back to get it,
17:21so, yeah, I brought it.
17:25Oh, sorry.
17:29Hello?
17:32Oh, my God, tonight?
17:33You're kidding.
17:34They want me to anchor the news tonight.
17:37Really?
17:38Like, anchor?
17:40Anchor?
17:42What happened to Sandy?
17:44Okay.
17:46Okay.
17:47Sure, what time do you need me to...
17:49Right now?
17:50Oh.
17:52Do it.
17:55Do it.
17:58Okay, I need, like, five minutes to change,
18:01and, um, I'll call you from the...
18:03I've seen a million faces
18:08But still my heart embraces
18:12So admit it.
18:14This wedding is both indoors and amazing.
18:18I'll give you the crab puffs.
18:19The crab puffs are good.
18:21The crab puffs were incredible.
18:22You should totally have them at our wedding.
18:24Definitely.
18:25Hey, we just agreed on something.
18:28Did we just start planning our wedding?
18:31I think that we did.
18:35We totally have to get that brown dipping sauce.
18:37Oh, I thought the red sauce was, like, awesome.
18:40My God, were you born without taste buds?
18:45What?
18:46I love you.
18:54Coming up, are there snakes living in your walls?
18:57The answer may surprise you after the break.
19:07Man, you know something?
19:09Stuart's my new hero.
19:10If that dude can bag a nine,
19:12I gotta be able to bag, like, a 16.
19:15What's a 16?
19:17Those two eights right over there.
19:20Yeah.
19:22Hi, Ted.
19:23Claudia.
19:24We just wanted to get a picture
19:26with the woman who almost ended our relationship.
19:28Yeah, where is she?
19:31Um, she couldn't make it.
19:36What's so funny?
19:38Oh, plan a wedding.
19:39You'll see.
19:44Look at that.
19:46That's how it's supposed to be.
19:48That right there.
19:49Easy, simple.
19:51It's just not like that with Robin.
19:54It's not easy, and on some level,
19:57it has to just be easy.
20:00Speaking of easy,
20:02bridesmaids, Ted.
20:04Bridesmaids.
20:05By the way, I almost forgot.
20:07We found this.
20:14I didn't check plus one.
20:16You were right.
20:18Of course I was right.
20:21I'm single.
20:23Maybe that's just who I am.
20:25And you know what?
20:26I like being single.
20:27Being single's the best.
20:28Yeah.
20:29Stay out as late as you want.
20:30Answer to no one.
20:31The whole world full of endless possibilities.
20:33Never having to go to a farmer's market.
20:41Okay.
20:41Ah, doing some math here.
20:43Table six has got three bridesmaids.
20:45An eight, an eight, and a seven.
20:47I am willing to give you one of the eights,
20:50lowering myself to a 15,
20:52which means you owe me.
20:54So there we were,
20:56two single guys,
20:57doing our usual single guy thing.
21:00For whatever reason,
21:01I had let myself believe
21:02that this night would be a turning point.
21:04That this was the night my life,
21:06my real life,
21:07would finally begin.
21:09Funny thing is,
21:11I wasn't totally wrong.
21:19Because that night was just beginning.
21:22The night was just beginning.
21:53Number two.
21:53Like when you see one suddenly in life,
21:53Like when you saw it,
21:53You know the day there.
21:53I thought you just seemed,
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