- 13 hours ago
Tv, Lost in Space (1965) S2E23 - Treasures Of The Lost Planet
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TVTranscript
00:03Last week we left Will, Penny and the robot playing a game of chance.
00:06Unaware pirates were even now about to descend upon their planet.
00:11Ah, number eight on the black and open number.
00:14How unfortunate you are both losers.
00:16However, as they say in the gaming casinos...
00:18Just a minute, Dr. Smith. There is something on number eight.
00:21There can't be unless someone cheated.
00:23I must warn you both, the house rules are quite specific on cheating.
00:26But it's not a chip, Dr. Smith.
00:28It looks like a gold coin.
00:30Gold coin? Let me see.
00:33Oh, yes, indeed it is.
00:34Probably an artifact left from some ancient civilization.
00:38Let's see if we can find some more.
00:45Dr. Smith! I think I found some!
00:47What is it, my dear?
00:49Looks like a metal ring.
00:52This is perhaps the entrance to a treasure trove.
00:55Caution is advised.
00:56Silence, Denny!
00:58Stand aside.
01:00I think it's begun to move.
01:06What?
01:07What happened?
01:09Where am I?
01:11Will?
01:11Will, Penny!
01:12Can you hear me?
01:13Of course we can hear you, Dr. Smith.
01:16Oh, thank heavens.
01:17I thought I'd fallen much farther.
01:20What's that?
01:21What's what?
01:22Where?
01:22The thing you have your hand on.
01:27What is it?
01:29Definitely not humanoid.
01:31Thank goodness.
01:33That is a bone of an alien monster.
01:36Oh.
01:39What is that?
01:42Ancient relics.
01:51Come on, Dr. Smith.
01:53Just a moment, will you?
02:04Come on, Dr. Smith.
02:09Just a moment, will you?
02:13What are you doing?
02:14I think I've discovered something of value.
02:28Help me. Help me.
02:30Oh, yes. Careful.
02:31Careful. My back is extremely delicate, as you know.
02:34Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
02:37There.
02:37What is that, Dr. Smith?
02:39Be patient, my dear. Give me a chance to open it.
02:42Obviously, we've uncovered the treasure house of some ancient civilisation.
02:45This must surely contain rare jewels, priceless artefacts, or perhaps even...
02:52Ugh! What a gruesome sense of impropriety.
02:56What do you suppose it was doing down there?
02:57I haven't the slightest idea.
02:59Ha! Nasty thing.
03:01Come along, my dears. It's getting quite late.
03:02Tomorrow we shall return and resume our studies of the laws of chance, indeed.
03:07Come along.
03:14Good evening.
03:18Hey, wait for me.
03:20Oh, dear.
03:32Here we go.
03:33Oh, dear.
03:35Oh, dear.
03:36Oh, dear.
03:38Oh, dear.
03:57The End
04:35What do you say, how about a short walk around the planet?
04:37That's the best offer I've had all evening. As a matter of fact, it's the only offer.
04:41Oh, you really know how to hurt a guy.
04:42Well, it isn't that I'm not flattered, but it would be nice just once to have one other offer.
04:47Okay, some other time.
04:48I didn't say I didn't want to go.
04:51Like, wow.
04:52Well, just be sure you have her back by midnight.
04:55Yes, you do that, and next time I'll let you have the keys to the chariot, fella.
05:00But, Dr. Smith, I'm telling you...
05:02Stop this senseless jabbering, will you, you deplorable dundade!
05:06It is absolutely impossible to take a quiet after-dinner constitutional
05:09without this clod-like collection of condensers constantly underfoot, taggling.
05:13Warning, warning!
05:14Well, what happened?
05:16My sensors indicate the presence of aliens.
05:18How many?
05:19Four and one-eighth.
05:20Four and one-eighth, indeed.
05:22What a sorry specimen of computer-hold you really are!
05:25Four and one-eighth?
05:27The disembodied head measures exactly nine inches.
05:30That computes to exactly one-eighth of an alien.
05:33A disembodied head?
05:34Oh, John, what does he mean?
05:36Just a grisly practical joke, madam, left behind by a sick former civilization.
05:40To attribute any form of life to it is the product only of this one's disordered mind.
05:45And now, if you'll excuse me, I shall retire.
05:47Good night to all, and to all a good night.
05:49Bah!
05:50Good night, Dr. Smith.
05:51Night.
05:51One of these days.
05:53One of these days.
05:54I'm going to forget all my built-in protective circuits and zap him.
05:58Just one zap!
06:02I'm sorry, strike that, I repent, and erase that from my memory banks.
06:27Who's there?
06:33Good evening.
06:39What is it, Smith?
06:40That.
06:41Oh, Dr. Smith, what are you doing with that thing?
06:44It followed me.
06:46What?
06:46It's true, I tell you.
06:48The ghastly thing is alive.
06:50Someone's just playing a joke on you.
06:51Probably will.
06:52No, no.
06:53It's alive, I tell you.
06:54It's scrabbled at the door.
06:55It even spoke to me.
06:57Dr. Smith, you were probably just dreaming.
06:59Now, why don't you just go back to sleep and forget about the whole thing?
07:03Very dear.
07:05It would be good enough to take that hideous thing outside and dispose of it.
07:08All right.
07:15Oh, perhaps this is all my imagination.
07:18Oh, dear.
07:20I do hope I haven't taken leave of my senses.
07:32Well, did you leave this outside of Dr. Smith's quarters?
07:35Because if you did, it wasn't very funny.
07:37Huh?
07:38What'd you say?
07:40Come on.
07:41Come on.
07:45Pieces of eight.
07:46Pieces of eight.
07:47You are needed, Will Robinson.
07:49You're Nick, aren't you?
07:50You belong to Captain Tucker, the pirate.
07:52Either that or he belongs to me.
07:54Where is he?
07:55Right ahead.
07:56Then a turn to the right.
08:04Pieces of eight.
08:16organ楽aithing.
08:22Pieces of eight.
08:23Pieces of eight.
08:25I'm going to have to take advantage of it.
08:30What happened to you?
08:33Pieces of meat! Pieces of meat!
08:35Dead man's gold, live man's feet!
08:37Shut your gob, you lovely bird!
08:40Aye, it's old Captain Tucker.
08:43Aye, flesh and bone meet and send you.
08:47Aye.
08:49Oh! Oh, I mean, back!
08:53Ah!
08:54Ah! Give me a fish, me bucko.
08:59It sure is good to see you again, Captain.
09:01Is it? Is it, me bucko, indeed?
09:04Ah!
09:05Does my heart good to hear the words,
09:08in the midst of me adversities,
09:10to find one true, loyal friend.
09:13Give me your thumb.
09:14The pirate's oath!
09:15Aye, aye!
09:17Oh, that touches me.
09:18Touches me here deep.
09:20You still haven't told me what you're doing here.
09:22Ah, that there, that there is a long story.
09:26It'll be a good one.
09:27I'll wring your blasted neck.
09:29Pieces of meat! Pieces of meat!
09:31What's he talking about?
09:32Nonsense.
09:33The bird's head is filled with nonsense.
09:36But tell me about yourself.
09:37I've thought of you often,
09:38whilst I struggle to make a hard, but honest living.
09:42Ah, ah, oh, ah, ah!
09:43A cynic!
09:44The bird is a cynic.
09:46Never had any faith in me good intentions.
09:48Well, if you've been so honest,
09:49how come you were all tied up?
09:50I were a victim.
09:52A victim of evil companions.
09:54Well, if they're so evil, what were you doing with them?
09:57Oh!
09:58Now, you ain't doubting me, are you, my bucko?
10:01Golly, no, Cap!
10:03Well, it worded this way.
10:06I were on a venture.
10:08What kind of a venture?
10:09Oh, a trade-inventure.
10:11An honest trade-inventure.
10:13A syndicate of decent gentlemen from the planet Boutes.
10:17Boutes?
10:18Aye, Boutes.
10:19Provided ship to go exploring and trading among unexplored planets.
10:24And little did I dream that I had signed aboard
10:26a crew of murderous cutthroats.
10:29And when they revealed their foul plan to me,
10:31asked me to lead them,
10:33you know what I said to them?
10:34What did you tell them?
10:36I says to them, I says,
10:38Thanks to dear old Nipper
10:40what showed me the evil of me wicked ways,
10:42I'll have no part in your foul plans.
10:46Hang me from the yardarm, says I,
10:48but I'll not do your wicked bidding, says I.
10:51I sure am proud of you, Cap'n.
10:55I told you it'd be a good one.
10:57Why, the dirty bird hates me.
11:02It's a warning.
11:05Hark.
11:07Hark.
11:10They're coming.
11:12Who's coming, Cap'n?
11:14Them has slit your gizzard without so much as a beggin' your pardon
11:18for the trouble they put you to.
11:21Oh, I scuttled, Edmund.
11:23Oh, I scuttled, Edmund.
11:25Oh, I scuttled, Edmund.
11:27Oh, I scuttled, Edmund.
11:29Oh, I scuttled, Edmund.
11:29That's where we left old Popmy Bilge's here.
11:32Hey, it were farther up the gully.
11:34No, it were right here.
11:36Leave it to a blind guppy like you to get lost.
11:40Who's calling you a blind guppy?
11:42Oh, no.
11:44Looking for trouble, B, eh?
11:47Well...
11:48He's right.
11:50We'll never find old Billy Bones treasure fighting among ourselves.
11:54All right, then.
11:55Up the draw.
11:57What were they talking about, Cap'?
11:59Who's Billy Bones?
12:00No, never mind.
12:01Let's make sail.
12:03The neighborhood here ain't good for us harnessed folk.
12:13Oh, dear, you know, it's just like Will to run off like this at night.
12:16I'm really very concerned about it.
12:19I'll have a talk with him tomorrow.
12:21Two persons are approaching.
12:22Personality patterns indicate one is Master Will Robinson.
12:26Good.
12:27And who's the other one?
12:28That is noncomputable.
12:29My sensors can only identify personality patterns from existing crew members.
12:34Oh, dear.
12:39Oh, well, I can hardly believe it.
12:42Well, how did you get here?
12:43The Lanzo P. Tucker reporting aboard, sir.
12:46Captain Tucker.
12:47Tucker, what the devil are you doing here?
12:49There'll be a long story, Professor.
12:52His crew mutinied and Captain Tucker was marooned here.
12:54Your crew?
12:55Aye.
12:56Honest spacemen.
12:57Hard smoke.
12:58That is, they was until they was led astray by evil notions.
13:02I seize a bad end for the lot of them.
13:04Heh heh.
13:05What is the meaning of all this commotion when I'm trying to...
13:07Oh!
13:08Good heavens!
13:10Captain Tucker!
13:12Now, don't be flopping all over, Zack.
13:16Does my whole heart good to see another friendly face?
13:18It'd be a friendly face, being it.
13:20Well, of course it'd be.
13:21Anything you say, my dear fellow.
13:23I'm delighted to see you again.
13:25So, I guess all is ship-shape at least for tonight, Professor.
13:29Ma'am, I'll be bunking in with my old shipmate.
13:31You will?
13:32Any objections, shipmate?
13:34Oh, no.
13:35None at all.
13:36Shipmate.
13:38Heh.
13:38So, I guess I won't be any trouble to you folks.
13:41Just call me early in the morning for breakfast.
13:43Good night, Professor.
13:44Good night, ma'am.
13:45Good night, me, Buckle.
13:47Heh.
13:47Where do you sling your hammock?
13:49This way.
13:50Heh.
13:56Well, he certainly made himself at home in a hurry.
13:58He's had a very hard time of it, Dad.
14:00As for you, you get to bed.
14:01I'll talk to you in the morning.
14:03Yes, sir.
14:03Good night, Dad.
14:04Good night, Mom.
14:04Good night, darling.
14:07John.
14:09Do you believe that tale he told us?
14:12No, I don't think so.
14:13You know how Tucker like to tell a tall yarn.
14:15Uh, just to be on the safe side, however,
14:17Don and I will take a look in the morning.
14:18All right.
14:19Now, why don't we turn in?
14:34Captain Tucker, wake up.
14:35What?
14:37You are snoring, sir.
14:39No, I don't hear nothin'.
14:41Ah!
14:43No matter my sensitivity to be subjected to such ignominious treatment.
14:47Ah!
14:48Captain Tucker!
14:52Captain Tucker!
14:53Good evening.
14:55What's the matter now?
14:56Captain Tucker.
14:57Captain Tucker.
14:58Captain Tucker.
14:58Captain Tucker.
15:03Take it away.
15:07And this time, make it stay away.
15:09What do you mean, this time, make it stay away?
15:11It's been pursuing me ever since I dug that horrid thing out of the pit.
15:14Pit?
15:14What pit?
15:15Well, I don't exactly know.
15:16There were all the weapons and bones there.
15:18And that obscene thing.
15:20Oh, Captain Tucker, take it away.
15:21I simply cannot stand any more.
15:23Ah, there, there.
15:24I'll take it away.
15:25Yes.
15:25Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:29Ah!
15:34Ah!
15:36Ah!
15:37Ah!
15:38Ah!
15:39Ah!
15:40Ah!
15:41Oh, dear, oh, dear.
15:42Whatever shall I do?
15:44I'm cold and I'm frightened.
15:47Oh, the dreadful box.
15:50Ah!
15:50Ah!
15:51Ah!
15:51Ah!
15:53Ah!
16:00Well, well, if it isn't old iron pants.
16:03Do not disturb me. I am on patrol.
16:06On patrol? That's a laugh.
16:09According to my memory, Banks, you are a thing called a nick.
16:13Who are you calling a thing, thing?
16:15What are you staring at, goggle eyes?
16:18I am evaluating your potential for dangerous activity before deciding to destroy you.
16:23Destroy me? That's a laugh.
16:26Take a shot at me. Go ahead. Take a shot.
16:30Very well. I have decided you are potentially dangerous and must be destroyed.
16:39Hey, over here.
16:42It does not compute.
16:43What's the matter, iron pants? Losing your eyes?
16:46Try again, huh? Go ahead. I dare you.
16:49I must re-evaluate the wiring of my defense system.
16:53Take your time, iron pants. Take a lot of time.
17:02Didn't I tell you we were here on business?
17:05But now you have to lock around before deactivating him.
17:08Spoilsport.
17:13Oh, my name is Captain Kidd, as I sailed, as I sailed.
17:20Oh, my name is Captain Kidd, as I sailed.
17:25Oh, I saw all dead man's bones, as I sailed.
17:29The name is Captain Tucker, as I sailed.
17:34Foul weather himself, you treacherous dogs.
17:38Now, we'll parley with me holding the upper hand.
17:42You can't blame the lads, foul weather.
17:44You promised me Lee Bones' treasure.
17:46Aye, and a chart to where it's buried.
17:49Aye, and I'm a man of my word.
17:52Say something, you blasted head.
17:56Good evening.
17:58What's that?
17:59What's that?
18:00I'll tell you what it is, you scum.
18:03Old Bailey Bones was too smart to put a chart on paper,
18:06so he took a better road.
18:08Old Bailey Bones did.
18:10This here head here is tuned into Bailey Bones' personality
18:13in a manner of speaking,
18:16so that he'll lead Bailey Bones
18:17and no one but Bailey Bones to his treasure.
18:19Yeah, a lot of good that do us.
18:22Bailey Bones is dead and molding on Antara 6
18:25these last five years.
18:27You led us on a false trail.
18:29Stop your yapping tongues, you dogs.
18:32False trail, is it?
18:34Supposing I were to tell you
18:36that I have in the palm of my hand, so to say,
18:39a human who matches old Bailey Bones' personality
18:42trait by trait and fault by fault.
18:45It ain't likely.
18:47Why, there never was a man as treacherous and cowardly
18:50and as big a liar
18:51and as greedy a glutton as Bailey Bones.
18:54There be one,
18:56Zachary Smith, by name.
18:59He be one of the crew of the Jupiter II.
19:01Why, then answer me this!
19:03Why is this head here
19:05following this human like a puppy
19:07fair begging to lead him
19:09to his treasure of gold and silver and such?
19:12Answer me that!
19:12If this be one of your tricks, Alonzo Tucker.
19:16Now, how can you say that about old Tucker
19:18who's always treated you fair?
19:20Aye, when we kept a close watch on you,
19:23you were a fair-dealing man.
19:25Then trust me now
19:26and we'll all share in the treasure.
19:28Yeah, I still say
19:30we slit the gizzards of your friends
19:32in that there spaceship.
19:34Then disintegrate this here planet
19:35and dig out the treasure
19:37from among the space rubble.
19:38And I say you're a blasted fool!
19:45Who's for me
19:46and the Tucker method?
19:48All right.
19:49We're with you for the time.
19:51But one sly trick
19:53and ye and your friends
19:54are cold meats too!
19:56Aye!
19:57Aye!
19:59Aye!
20:17Wake up, you blasted bird!
20:18Now what?
20:19You know what?
20:24Oh!
20:26I thought I...
20:27Was I imagining something?
20:29That does not compute.
20:32Cybernetic servomechanisms
20:33do not imagine.
20:38Perhaps a general overhaul
20:40is in order.
20:44Okay.
21:07Oh, good morning, Dr. Smith.
21:09You'd better hurry.
21:09There's not much left.
21:12It really doesn't matter, dear lady.
21:14I shall never eat again.
21:17I hear it, but I don't believe it.
21:18Dr. Smith, aren't you well?
21:20Fragile, madam.
21:22Fragile is the word
21:23that best describes my condition.
21:25Oh, what's wrong?
21:26I have just passed
21:27an extremely dreadful night.
21:30Have some scrambled eggs, Dr. Smith.
21:33Oh, no, I couldn't.
21:34Oh, perhaps a small portion,
21:35a very small portion.
21:37A bit more, my dear.
21:38I'll force myself.
21:39A man in my condition
21:40must keep up his strength.
21:41Pass the bacon, please.
21:44What's in the box, Dr. Smith?
21:46A curse, my dear.
21:48A curse that has plagued me
21:49ever since I inadvertently
21:50trespassed on an alien tomb.
21:52Maybe it's the ghosts
21:53from all the bacon and eggs
21:54you've devoured
21:54come back to haunt you, doctor.
21:56You're a cold, cruel man,
21:57Major, to work me so,
21:58when quite clearly
21:59I'm in a state of traumatic shock.
22:02Traumatic shock?
22:03What are you going to do with it?
22:04I'm going to drop it
22:05in the radioactive lava pit.
22:07Good luck, Doug.
22:09Come on, dear.
22:09Let's do the dishes.
22:20Good evening.
22:21Ah!
22:22Stop there,
22:23it wants you here.
22:24Stop it, you horror.
22:25Why must you haunt me?
22:27I am attuned to you, master.
22:30Oh, dear, oh, dear.
22:32What a grisly fate
22:33to be tormented
22:34by this ghoulish creature.
22:38I don't think
22:38that's a creature at all,
22:40Dr. Smith.
22:40I think it's some kind
22:41of electronic device.
22:43Electronic device?
22:44Every time it talks,
22:45the detectors inside
22:46pick up platinum electrode impulses,
22:48so it must be.
22:49Platinum electrode impulses?
22:52But why would anyone
22:53construct such a ghastly thing?
22:55I don't know.
22:56Maybe the robot can analyze it.
22:58If you like, I'll ask him.
22:59Yes, my dear boy,
23:00I think I would like that very much.
23:02Yes, sir.
23:07This quaint device
23:08begins to have
23:09very definite interest for me.
23:16Ah, there you are,
23:18you noxious ninny.
23:19What are you doing here, robot?
23:20We've been looking
23:21all over for you.
23:22I am undergoing
23:22self-overhaul.
23:24My electronic simulator
23:25is checking out
23:26each of my individual components.
23:29Ah, there is a clunker.
23:31You, sir,
23:32are a clunker.
23:36What in the world
23:36are you doing?
23:48Notice
23:48how my simulator
23:50reproduces
23:51an exact replacement part.
23:52Never mind
23:53the lugubrious lecture.
23:55Just analyze this for us.
23:56Some time today,
23:57if you please.
23:59Good evening.
24:01Kindly do not speak
24:02while I am computing you.
24:03Besides,
24:04anyone can plainly see
24:05that it is not evening.
24:08Evening does not
24:09properly begin until...
24:10Cease and desist,
24:11you demented diode.
24:12Proceed with the analysis.
24:14Well,
24:15what do you think, robot?
24:16A doodlebug.
24:18Electronic,
24:19but definitely
24:19a doodlebug.
24:21Well, that tells me a lot.
24:22What's a doodlebug?
24:23A device
24:24that, properly directed,
24:26will lead one
24:26to the presence
24:27of water,
24:28oil,
24:28or other treasure.
24:30Treasure?
24:31Where?
24:32How can it lead us there?
24:34By the turn of its head.
24:40Let's slice him up now
24:41and take the accursed head.
24:43Call back your swab.
24:44The nippers not to be touched.
24:46I'll settle your stew right now,
24:48you lily liver.
24:49Try me
24:50if you've got the stomach for it.
24:55Now, lads,
24:57we'll bide our time.
24:58Old Smith there
25:00with his greedy heart
25:01will lead us direct
25:02to Billy Bones' treasure.
25:04Make sense.
25:07See, Dr. Smith,
25:09ask the head a question
25:09and maybe it'll lead us
25:10all to treasure.
25:12Electronic doodlebug, indeed.
25:13Stuff and nonsense.
25:14It's merely a clever little toy
25:15which I shall put away
25:16among my other
25:17trifling keepsakes.
25:18Come along.
25:21Give me the box
25:22or I'll slither your dessert.
25:24No, no, no!
25:29Can you tell me
25:31that what it was
25:31that Bill saw
25:32was a member of your crew?
25:33Aye, sir.
25:34From the description
25:35of the little nipper,
25:36I would say that there was Dick.
25:38He's a bad one, man.
25:39Bad.
25:40What in the name
25:41of the seven planets
25:42kind of crew
25:43do you have, Tucker?
25:44Well, sir,
25:45they ain't much to look at
25:46from your point of view,
25:47but when you're signing
25:47on the crew,
25:48you can't be fussy
25:49with their
25:51personal eccentricities.
25:52Well, Captain Tucker,
25:53are they dangerous?
25:54Desperate, ma'am.
25:56Desperate is the word.
25:57Oh, my.
25:59You find anything?
26:00Just some tracks.
26:01Looked like they were made
26:02by some kind of
26:02a large reptile.
26:03Aye, that there be, Deke.
26:05Well, they must be
26:06out there somewhere.
26:07What are we going to do?
26:08From now on,
26:09everyone here
26:09will be confined
26:10to the area of the ship
26:10until this matter's cleared up.
26:12All right, dear.
26:13Does that there rule
26:14apply to me, sir?
26:15Is there any reason
26:16why it shouldn't?
26:16Well, no, I ain't objecting,
26:18but if I were free
26:19to come and go,
26:20I might be able
26:21to reason with the lads.
26:23Well, if they're as desperate
26:24as you say they are,
26:24there'll be no reasoning with them.
26:26Yes, the rule applies to you, too.
26:27Good morning, good morning.
26:28I'm on my way.
26:29Where do you think
26:29you're going, Smith?
26:30I've discovered
26:31what may be some
26:32very interesting ruins.
26:34I plan to spend
26:34the entire day
26:35investigating them.
26:36Not today, Smith.
26:37I don't believe I understand.
26:38We're all restricted
26:39to the area of the ship.
26:40I think you'd better get inside.
26:42I beg your pardon.
26:44On your way, Smith.
26:46What?
26:46What is this?
26:47Indeed.
26:48Indeed.
26:49Indeed.
26:51Indeed.
27:05Oh, my God.
27:41Wake up, wake up. I am your master.
27:45Do whatever it is you're supposed to do, you loathsome creature.
27:48Do something.
27:50I warn you, I'm a very impatient man.
27:55What is this? Who are you? What are you doing?
27:58Help! Help!
28:02I thought I heard something, Captain.
28:04No, no, you must be dreaming.
28:06I've been keeping a weather eye out. I ain't heard nothing.
28:10That sounds like Dr. Smith.
28:12Well, now, what would he be doing out there?
28:16I don't know, but I'm going to find out.
28:17No, no, no. Hold on.
28:19Hold on.
28:23Never!
28:25Robot?
28:26Halt! No one is to leave.
28:27Did Dr. Smith leave the camp?
28:29Nobody could have gotten by without my seeing him.
28:32But that was Dr. Smith's scream I heard.
28:34Apparently I've goofed again.
28:36Apparently.
28:36I will go back to the drawing board and reevaluate my overhaul.
28:45It was Dr. Smith, Captain. He's still out there.
28:48Well, now, what do you know about that there? He shouldn't have done that.
28:52I tell you what, I'll start off first thing in the morning. I'll find him.
28:54That may be too late. I'd better go find him.
28:56No, hold on me, booko. You're going to throw an anchor into the whole works.
29:00Don't try and stop me, Captain.
29:02Let old Captain Tucker explain to you the facts of life as he understands them.
29:07When you've sailed enough spaceways, you come to realize that there's them that's bound and determined to burn themselves up.
29:14All fired up with greed and desire and hungering to steal things when ain't rightly theirs.
29:20No account, fellas, like that.
29:22You just got to step aside and let them go sailing on to their just desserts.
29:26If you gather my meaning.
29:29Maybe Dr. Smith is all those things.
29:31But I don't care. All I know is he's my friend and I've got to help him.
29:34Let me go.
29:36Never!
29:37Never!
29:37Never! Come back here!
29:59What's the matter with him, Deke?
30:02Maybe he don't like your looks, mate.
30:04Well, he ain't no riving beauty.
30:06What's wrong with me looks?
30:08You ain't much.
30:10My friends think I'm good looking.
30:12Well, they ain't very good friends of yours.
30:18Someone's coming.
30:25You see, there ain't nothing out here.
30:28Let's go.
30:28Let's go back.
30:32Nothing.
30:33Nothing.
30:33Well, what do you call that?
30:37Dr. Smith!
30:39Are you all right?
30:41Yeah.
30:42I'm innocent.
30:45Blasted.
30:47William, thank heavens, you're here.
30:49I'll risk.
30:49Ah!
30:51Ah!
30:52Ah!
30:52Ah!
30:52Ah!
30:52Go on!
30:53Come on!
30:54Come on!
30:55Come on!
30:56Tucker!
30:57There's no use, Nipper.
30:58I tried to keep you from coming out here.
31:00But now you're out here.
31:02One way or the other, you have to stay.
31:04Us.
31:05You mean you're with them?
31:07Well, one way or the other, we're all together.
31:10It's my crew, Nipper.
31:12Deke.
31:15Smeak.
31:17And Israelin.
31:18All I can say, Captain, is I'm very disappointed in you.
31:40Ah.
31:41No use, Captain.
31:43Every time we brings him around, he drops off again.
31:46Ah, he's been going on like that all night.
31:49What's the matter with him, anyway?
31:50Maybe if we knocked him around.
31:52No!
31:53Maybe we should give him a big belt of glue.
31:56What is it you're trying to do, kill him?
31:57If everybody will excuse me for saying this, I think you're upsetting Dr. Smith.
32:02Well, he's upsetting me.
32:04And if he don't stop it, I'll make silly moth out of him.
32:08That's what.
32:08Here, now.
32:09None of that there talk, Deke.
32:11Innocent ears, you know.
32:13Well, maybe I could bring him around if you...
32:15A gentleman would just get out of sight.
32:18All right, me bucko.
32:20We'll leave it up to you.
32:21But no tricks.
32:29Come on, Dr. Smith.
32:31Wake up, wake up.
32:32Go away.
32:33Go away.
32:34Ah.
32:36Are they gone?
32:37Yeah, but they're not very far away.
32:39Then we must flee with alacrity.
32:40It's no use, Dr. Smith.
32:42What do you mean?
32:43They want you to lead them to a treasure.
32:45Treasure?
32:47I don't know anything about a treasure.
32:49I know that.
32:50But Captain Tucker told me something about this pirate named Beelybones and all about his treasure.
32:55And how the doodlebug can lead us to it.
32:58Tucker.
32:58That renegade turncoat.
33:00He wants me to share my treasure with him.
33:02Well, either that or he'll turn you over to Deke who'll make you drink slug and make sleemoth, whatever that
33:07is.
33:08Whatever it is.
33:09Sounds horrible.
33:11Perhaps we can make a little arrangement with them.
33:14A little type of agreement to our mutual benefit.
33:17No time for games, Dr. Smith.
33:19Come on, get up.
33:20Yes, yes.
33:20Help me.
33:23The nipper's right, Zach.
33:26Take us to the treasure.
33:29Or else.
33:30Or else.
33:31The nipper's right, Zach.
33:39Hi.
33:41Anything?
33:42No, no sign of it.
33:44Will Smith and Tucker.
33:45Well, if you asked me who's responsible...
33:47I wouldn't blame Dr. Smith, Don.
33:48No, not now.
33:49It's not the time for it.
33:51No, you're right.
33:51I was about to say that Tucker could be behind all this.
33:53Oh?
33:54Now, we'll find out who's responsible when we catch up with him.
33:56Yes, of course you will.
33:57Darling, arm yourself and the girls.
33:59And turn on the force field, and they'll let anyone through till we get back.
34:02All right.
34:02I'll take care of everything.
34:04I'll get the rifles.
34:06Come on, robot.
34:06We have to track down Will and Smith.
34:09I am unable to comply.
34:10I have just rejected my power generator.
34:13It will take me 17 minutes to duplicate it.
34:15Well, this is a heck of a time to do spring cleaning.
34:17I am sorry.
34:19Well, if you can't do anything, I'll stay here and guard the ship.
34:21Here you go.
34:26My electro-force beam is extremely low.
34:39This is where I found the dreadful thing.
34:41Aye, this be the start of our treasure search.
34:44Get on with it, Zack.
34:46Zack, indeed.
34:47Here, William.
34:52Do something.
34:53Good evening.
34:54Good evening, my foot.
34:56Is that the only thing you can say, you ridiculous creature?
34:58Good evening to all, and good night.
35:01Hey, hey, hey.
35:02Try being pleasant to it.
35:04Pat it.
35:05Make nice to it.
35:06Yes.
35:07My dear friend, this is frightfully important to all of us, particularly to me.
35:12It's no use.
35:14Try telling it to lead you to Billy Bones' treasure.
35:18Take me to Billy Bones' treasure, my loyal friend.
35:22Good heavens, now watch.
35:23Ah, his head's turning.
35:25It's looking in that there direction.
35:28Follow his head.
35:41It's still warm.
35:42The footprint's all over the place.
35:45Look, you cover that trail.
35:46I'll take this one.
35:53Couldn't we rest for a minute?
35:54This is getting awfully heavy.
35:55Rest in need.
35:56There's work to be done.
35:57Get it here.
36:07I feel Star Wars.
36:09Something the matter, Bopone.
36:10Nothing.
36:13You ain't mad at me, are you?
36:15Captain Tucker, you told me you were going to lead an honest life.
36:18You lied to me.
36:19Oh, now, you were no lie.
36:21I were stretching the truth a little bit.
36:24Getting mixed up with a bunch of bad pirates and offer some treasure.
36:27Well, it's not just some treasure.
36:30Old Billy Bones came from Betelgezy.
36:33And you can bet no Betelgezyan is going to settle for no second-class treasure.
36:37Why, why, on Betelgezy, all them buildings is made of silver and gold, and they've got jewels on it big
36:44as oyster eggs.
36:45Why, why, even the shovels and the knives and the forks and the frying pans are made of silver and
36:51gold.
36:51That's how rich old Betelgezy is.
36:54Well, then, if Billy Bones came from such a rich place as that, why would he have a treasure of
36:58gold and jewels?
36:59What kind of nonsense is that there you're talking?
37:01Well, it just seems to me that if all those things don't mean very much on Betelgezy, then Billy Bones'
37:07treasure would be something much more rare and valuable.
37:10Pump me, Belgiers!
37:12You think of that, me bucko.
37:14Think of that there.
37:16I'm thinking, Captain.
37:17But I still don't see how you would have lied to me.
37:21Shh.
37:21I didn't lie.
37:23It isn't just the treasure.
37:24Me shipmates would slit your gizzard and Zach's, too, if we didn't help them find the treasure.
37:29Well, what's going to stop them from slitting our gizzards once they find the treasure?
37:33You just let old Captain Tucker worry about that.
37:36He's got a feeling that this here odds against us may even up.
37:40Captain Tucker?
37:42Aye!
37:46What's all this about?
37:47It just points at the stone wall.
37:49You suppose we've reached the treasure?
37:51Aye, maybe.
37:55Dake, step up and give this here wall a knock or two.
38:00Maybe there's a secret paddle in it.
38:03Step back, everyone.
38:04Give Dake a chance.
38:06Go on.
38:15Where's he gone?
38:18I might have known old Billy Bones and set a trap for two-foot trespassers.
38:23Poor old Dake.
38:24He were a brave one.
38:26Rest in peace, Dake.
38:28Too bad, too bad.
38:31You're a blasted head.
38:32Show us where the treasure is or I'll cut you to pieces.
38:35Show us, show us.
38:37That way.
38:39That way.
38:40There.
38:41There.
38:49There.
38:50Over there.
38:52Over there.
38:54Over there.
38:54Who's to go out there and find out what's waiting for us?
38:57Go ahead, this one.
39:00Now, Smeak will not go.
39:02It's your turn.
39:03How about you, Fowlweather?
39:05Seems as now it's about your turn.
39:08Well, fair's fair.
39:11We'll match for it.
39:13Hey, you go, you swab.
39:27What is it you see out there, me hairy shipmate?
39:42Oh, dear.
39:43I think I'm going to faint.
39:48Too bad.
39:49Too bad.
39:51Aye, poor old Israelin.
39:53Never knew what hit him.
39:55Rest in peace, Israelin.
39:57Does make it easier come splitting up time.
40:00Aye.
40:00Right, Fowlweather?
40:02Aye.
40:03That's true enough.
40:05Rest in peace.
40:07Rest in peace.
40:10That way.
40:14Onward to the treasure.
40:26Careful.
40:27Careful, William.
40:36Down here.
40:38Down here.
40:39Aye.
40:40Start digging, mates.
40:42May bones say the treasure lies here.
40:44Not me.
40:45You certainly can't mean me, Captain Tucker.
40:47My back is too delicate for such rough work.
40:49Let the boy do the digging.
40:51Splendid idea.
40:52Well, you're such a small target, William.
40:54Anything would miss you.
40:55A fine lot of swabs you are to let a boy do a man's work.
40:59We'll not be wanting to fall into any more of Billy Boone's traps, Captain.
41:02The boy's the most useless of the whole lot of us.
41:05Darn.
41:06Or maybe I have to blow you down first.
41:12Come on, boy.
41:13You and me, we'll both dig in.
41:15If you say so.
41:39Wait a minute.
41:40I think I found something.
41:42It's some kind of a chest.
41:44Hold it.
41:45Get back.
41:46Yes, sir.
41:49Disarm yourself.
41:57Aye, aye, yarr, nipper.
41:58Get behind me.
41:59I smell foul weather ahead.
42:01It is a chest.
42:03A Billy Boone fist on it plain as day.
42:05Help me hoist it out.
42:06Yes, yes, yes.
42:07Feast your eyes on the ransom of a planet.
42:19Tucker, be this some of your humor?
42:22This be nothing but pig eye.
42:24You tricked us all the way.
42:27That?
42:28Ah, disarm him.
42:30Whatever happens to you, you deserve it.
42:32You blasted, unreliable bird.
42:36Not the word.
42:40It's no use, Professor.
42:42He eats lasers for breakfast.
42:43Cold steel is all he can't stomach.
42:47Dad, Dad.
42:54Dad.
42:55Dad, watch out.
42:59You can't run out, Captain.
43:01You've got to stay and help.
43:02Oh, me, Bucko.
43:03What is it you're doing to an honest pirate?
43:15Drop your weapon, Smeak,
43:16or say a sweet goodbye to this here world.
43:24I say let's hang him.
43:26Let's hang him as a pirate from the highest dream.
43:28That's not a bad idea.
43:29No.
43:30Captain Tucker's my friend,
43:31and at the end,
43:31when he knew there was going to be trouble,
43:33he was willing to protect me.
43:34Now, that there be the mortal truth, sir.
43:37Oh, Captain Tucker,
43:38he wouldn't see no harm come to the little nipper.
43:40Then what are we going to do with you?
43:42Well, now, you might let me go, sir.
43:44I still have a ship back there in the hills.
43:46To go on pirating, I suppose.
43:47Heaven forbid.
43:49From now on,
43:50I ain't nothing but a decent spaceman
43:52in the packet trade.
43:54You have me word on that,
43:56on the article, sir.
43:58Well, I suppose that's as good a reason as any
44:00for getting rid of you.
44:01All right, on your way, Tucker.
44:02But mind you, no tricks.
44:03You have me fist and me affidavit on that there, sir.
44:08Oh, by the way,
44:09my son tells me that you were well prepared for trouble
44:11when you found your treasure chest.
44:13What warned you?
44:14Oh, well, it was something the little nipper said
44:16about Betelgeese.
44:18With all them silver and gold and jewels there,
44:21there weren't so much as a door hinge made of iron
44:24or a single steel tool.
44:27There were no joke old Beely Bones was playing.
44:29That there scrap metal were for him a real treasure.
44:34May his bones rest in peace.
44:37Goodbye, Miboko.
44:38Goodbye, Captain.
44:39Maybe we'll meet again sometime.
44:42I sure hope so.
44:43You do?
44:44Why?
44:45Because I like you.
44:46Pub, my Belges.
44:48The little nipper likes me.
44:50Goodbye, matey.
44:51Bye, Campbell.
44:53Yeah, thank our old Tucker now and again.
44:57Bye.
44:58So long, Tucker.
45:05Thank heavens he's gone.
45:07This entire affair has been a frightful nightmare.
45:10But now that you've disposed of that hideous box,
45:13my dear friend,
45:14I shall erase all memory of the incident from my mind.
45:17From this very moment,
45:18I shall think only peaceful, tranquil thoughts.
45:22No!
45:24What is the meaning of this?
45:26I know.
45:27Back to the drawing board.
45:29You insipid ineptitude.
45:31Be gone!
45:39Oh, dear, oh, dear.
45:40I shall never survive the strain of this dreadful box.
45:47Good evening.
45:51Good evening.
45:53Well, the pain.
45:55The pain of it all.
46:18Help!
46:18Stay away from me!
46:19Help!
46:20Help!
46:21Oh, dear!
46:21Whoa!
46:28Oh, no.
46:29Stay away from me.
46:30Please stay away.
46:31I mean you no harm.
46:31I really do not mean you any harm.
46:33I was just looking at these lovely things.
46:35Ah!
46:36Oh!
46:39Oh!
46:40What is the matter?
46:41I had a fortune in my hands.
46:42I was robbed.
46:42Quick, stop him.
46:43Are you going to stand there and do nothing?
46:45Stop him from eating those lovely things.
46:46The rubies belong to him, Dr. Smith.
46:49Indeed they do not.
46:50The monster's like a squirrel, Dr. Smith.
46:52I guess it gathers up the rubies and saves them to eat during the winter.
46:55We don't have a winter here.
46:56Oh, yeah.
46:57Why don't we look over there for some rubies that he might have not found?
47:00Do you think there might be some?
47:01Sure, maybe.
47:02It's worth a look.
47:03Come along.
47:13Nothing here.
47:15Oh, dear.
47:16To think that each day a veritable fortune in rubies goes down that furry gullet.
47:22And we could be so rich with such a very few of them.
47:25We?
47:26Yes, William, we.
47:28It's high time you gave more than a passing thought to your future, my dear boy.
47:32Perhaps a trust fund would be useful.
47:34And together we have a very good chance of securing it.
47:38I know, Dr. Smith, but Dad put that area off limits.
47:43Do not look at me.
47:44I am not programmed to become a jewel thief.
47:46Spare me the moralizing, you overcautious concoction.
47:49Just remember that when I become rich, as I surely will,
47:53you had your chance and you passed it by.
47:59How could you understand the simple joys of life?
48:02Jewels and lots of money.
48:04Warning, warning.
48:06Extraterrestrial life form approaching.
48:07Where?
48:08Where?
48:08There.
48:14There.
48:43Best of all.
48:53THE END
49:14THE END
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