Her Brother Took Her Childhood Away From Her

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories, we welcome LoRhonda Clayborn, who bravely shares her personal story with us. From a young age, LoRhonda faced deeply distressing experiences at the hands of a close family member, which had a profound impact on her childhood and emotional well-being. These challenges also strained her relationship with her mother, compounding the difficulties LoRhonda faced.   Despite the immense hardships she endured, LoRhonda's story is one of resilience and hope. Through her inspiring journey, she demonstrates the strength of the human spirit and the power of perseverance in the face of adversity. Join us as we listen to LoRhonda's moving story, which serves as a beacon of light for those who have faced similar struggles. Her example reminds us that healing is possible, and that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope for a brighter future.   #truecrime #survivalstory   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is LaRonda, and I am a survivor of incest rape.

00:05Growing up, I had my ups and downs.

00:09I come from a military background family.

00:12My mom was in the military, my dad was in the military.

00:15That's how they met.

00:16I do have an older sibling.

00:18We're three years apart.

00:19During that time when they was married, everything was, you know, normal.

00:25They had their room, and I had to share room with him.

00:29So I remember probably around elementary school, my parents had got divorced.

00:37Once that divorce was settled, we ended up going to Germany.

00:41When we finally moved to Germany, got to know my friends in the schools and all that, my mom.

00:46Now I remember I'm back in a single household, so my mom, she's in the military, so she was always

00:52gone.

00:53During that time, I remember he used to just come in my room, and I'm like, I could just be

01:00asleep, and I could just feel like somebody just standing in the door.

01:05And I'm like, what you doing?

01:07And it started off, I guess you could just say, just hunching and stuff.

01:12I'm young, so I'm just like frightened.

01:14So it started off as death.

01:16I would just remember some days, like, I'd be in my room, and he'll be in the living room, and

01:23I could just, like, hear, like, he'll play, like, these certain movies of, you know, of sex.

01:29And I would just peep around and see what he's doing, and I would see him, like, really humping the

01:38soles.

01:38I'm like, what is wrong with him?

01:41Like, in the back of my mind, you know, I felt like my mind was a little bit older than

01:46I was.

01:46So I was just like, okay, so I just left it as death.

01:50Then it was like he'll come in there, and then he'll tell me to take my clothes off.

01:55I'm looking like, oh, my goodness, like, what is going on that he'll come in there, and he'll finish doing

02:03what he doing at the same time.

02:05My mom, sometimes she'll be sleeping in the room, like, but her room was, like, down the hallway, and his

02:12room was in the middle, and mine was in the beginning.

02:16It just kept happening.

02:18And then when I got a little bit older, he was getting more angry.

02:23Like, it could be something, like, if I leave a fork in the sink, he'll get mad and just start

02:29hitting me.

02:30Like, he's my dad.

02:31I'm like, hold on.

02:32Like, it was like his mind, I was like, what is going on?

02:36Like, he'll just find anything to just make him mad to just take it out of me.

02:42Now he already raved for me.

02:43Now you want to beat on me.

02:45I'm like, man, when is this going to stop?

02:47So my mom, like, sometimes when he did get out of hand, like, he'll probably, like, a bruise or a

02:54scratch or something.

02:55She'll come home and be like, what happened?

02:57And I just have to make, like, this a lie, and she'll believe, and I used to be like, come

03:03on, mom, come on.

03:04It was one instant.

03:06We went to a Christmas party.

03:07Everybody had their little Christmas sweatshirts on.

03:10I had my little skirt on with the tights and stuff.

03:13Went to the Christmas party.

03:14I didn't think nothing of it.

03:15Then the next day, he just come up to me and said, I just talked to mom.

03:20My mom, I don't hear no phone ringing.

03:21I just talked to mom.

03:23She said, for you to put the same clothes on you had on yesterday.

03:28I'm like, why would she even say that?

03:30And he was like, I just talked to her.

03:32And I'm looking like, put the same clothes on and got right.

03:37He just took my whole childhood.

03:40I was scared to wear shorts, skirts.

03:44I was covered up from, like, my neck up to my feet down.

03:48I didn't want to do no sports that involved shorts, anything.

03:53I was, like, so scared to, like, even show, like, an ounce of skin with him.

03:59Living like, he would, like, marry to him.

04:02Like, he would tell me, like, to do stuff I had to fix his food.

04:07I had to iron his clothes.

04:10I'm looking like, what is going on?

04:14So I had to hold that for a long time.

04:17Then my mom blessed her heart.

04:19With her situation, I knew something she was dealing with because she was, she used to get mad, like, quick

04:27at me.

04:27Like, she used to get so mad, like, I could just come home crying, like, if I got bullied at

04:34school.

04:34She'd be like, ain't nothing wrong with you.

04:36You'll be all right.

04:37It was, like, stuff like that.

04:39She, it was like, don't get me wrong.

04:41She was the type of mother I never went without.

04:44She'd provide.

04:45But the nurturing part was needing the most improvement.

04:50Like, I never felt like I could come to her about anything because it was one incident when we got

04:57older.

04:58He, we was in the bathroom.

04:59He got mad at something in the bathroom, and he was getting ready to hit me, and she seen it.

05:05So I was like, yes.

05:06I said, this, it's about to go down, and it didn't.

05:10Like, it was like, she, it was like a brush off.

05:13I was like, this cannot be happening.

05:16So, getting older into high school, I'm a teenage girl, so you gonna have no moments where you get hormonal,

05:24get attitudes and stuff.

05:26I'm a teenager, so I was going through that, and then on top of that, I was going through it

05:32with my mom, getting little attitudes with her, and she just didn't know where it was coming from.

05:39Like, I was just losing my mind.

05:41I was like, if she don't care, I don't care.

05:44And she just got so mad at me one time, she was like, I'm getting tired of whooping you.

05:49So, from now on, I'm going to make a list on the refrigerator.

05:53Whatever you do, we're going to write it on the list, and then on Friday, you're going to get a

05:57whooping.

05:57I'm like, what?

05:59But mind you, I'm young, I didn't care.

06:02Man, I was just cutting up, just acting, just all kinds of crazy.

06:08She was just writing it down, writing it down.

06:10And then come Friday, I'll never forget this.

06:13She was just reading everything off.

06:16She told me to take my clothes off.

06:18She got the whooping me, and I guess she got tired of me moving, because I had to probably be

06:23at least about 14, 15.

06:25She was like, lay on the stool.

06:28So, I laid on the stool, and she got this tape.

06:30And she taped my arms and legs around the stool, and it was like, she just kept hitting me over

06:38and over.

06:39And I'm just, like, hollering, screaming.

06:42So, he come in while I was still in the back room.

06:45And so, she was like, come look at your sister.

06:47And I was like, why would you?

06:49So, I'm just laying there looking crazy, because I ain't no falling.

06:53It was just, like, horrendous.

06:56And I was like, now I got to deal with him.

06:59Now I got to deal with my mama.

07:01I got to deal with stuff at school.

07:02Because it was just, like, it was sometimes I would just pray, and I'd be like, I'd just be like,

07:07Lord, please.

07:08I was like, just take me now.

07:11Like, I just did not care anymore, because I was like, I didn't have no siblings.

07:16My mom, she was going through what she was going through.

07:18We in Germany.

07:20I'm across the ocean.

07:21What's going to happen?

07:23Now, we're on the outside.

07:25I hit it good.

07:27I had a full face.

07:29Like, it was like, I got it to character.

07:31It was never no bruises where anybody could see.

07:35Like, then nobody noticed, because I have a good sense of humor.

07:38So, that was my escape.

07:40I just made people laugh, trying to get that attention off me.

07:43But the only person I did was finally tell somebody when I moved to Texas.

07:48I told my best friend.

07:49Baby, she was ready to go to the police.

07:51She was just like, LaRond did know.

07:54And I was like, please don't say nothing.

07:55Please don't say nothing.

07:57Like, I was begging her, do not say nothing.

08:01And she was like, for the only person that knew about what I was going through.

08:08After we went to Texas, when I was in 10th grade, three years apart.

08:13So, he left to go stay with my father.

08:15My father stayed in Tennessee.

08:18So, when I say when he left, those were like the best.

08:2310th, 11th, 12th grade was just beautiful.

08:27Like, it was like a bad, like a demon just left the house.

08:31Me and my mom, we was getting along.

08:33So, I was just thinking, everything is just going to be fine.

08:37I was like, okay.

08:38I was able to sleep.

08:40I was able to dress a little skirt, because I had to worry about none of that.

08:44So, during that time, I graduated from high school.

08:49My mom, she got sent to Korea for a year.

08:52So, I wasn't able to go, because it was only for a year.

08:55Stayed with my dad.

08:57He left to go to the airport.

08:59So, I was thinking, everything fine, everything okay.

09:02Cool.

09:03It was me, my cousin, and my step-sister.

09:05So, we outside talking.

09:07And I don't even know how we even got on the subject of things that happened to us.

09:11My cousin said something would happen to her.

09:14I was talking about what would happen to me.

09:17And I looked, and I seen my step-sister was crying.

09:20I was like, what's wrong?

09:21And she was like, he did the same thing to me.

09:25When I tell you, it felt like a knife just, like, stabbed me.

09:31I was like, it was just, I just felt so bad.

09:34I was just blaming me.

09:36I was like, because I promise you, I never, not one time would have thought he would do

09:41that to somebody else.

09:43When that came out, later on, she did end up telling her mom.

09:47So, her mom would play.

09:49She was like, we got to do, we got to do.

09:52So, they end up pressing charges and all of this while he was in the Air Force.

09:57Now, mind you, my mom's in Korea.

09:59He called the house, and I picked up.

10:02I was like, hello?

10:03And he was like, can you believe that she would say something, I'd do something like

10:07that to her?

10:07I'm looking at the phone.

10:09You've been doing this for me for years.

10:10What are you talking about?

10:11That's how mentally messed up he was.

10:14Like, how you would call me and try to make me agree?

10:18Nah, this ain't that.

10:20So, after that phone call, we got in contact in my mouth.

10:23She was like, LaRonda, what's going on?

10:26And I was like, well, mom, it's true.

10:28He did that to me while we were growing up.

10:32So, she was like, when?

10:33I was like, mom, when you used to go to the field, we used to be gone on the weekends,

10:38or when you go to the field for a couple of days.

10:40It was plenty of opportunity, because we always stayed in the house by ourselves.

10:45So, she got quiet, and she was like, I'm going to talk to you later.

10:48Got off the phone.

10:49I got an email the next day, and she was like, why would you lie on your brother?

10:56And I was looking like, this is why.

10:59I did not want to tell her, because I always felt like she loved Buffer, but with him, it

11:05was kind of different from how me and her.

11:07So, I was just like, why would you even think?

11:10Like, why would I even lie?

11:11It was like, she said, I was trying to fit in the family.

11:15I was trying to fit in with my dad and his new wife, and she was just going on and

11:19on.

11:20So, I guess she got his side of the story, and he tried to make it.

11:24He doing all that crying.

11:26He didn't boo-hooing, and it just went all the way left.

11:31And I couldn't even respond back.

11:33After that, my mom, she passed away in 07.

11:39So, after all of that went through with the allegations and pressing charges, my stepson,

11:47she had to go to therapy.

11:50She's going to therapy.

11:51I'm just like, I'm still here.

11:53They're pushing everything in the back of my head.

11:56So, after that couple years, I was working on a cruise ship in Hawaii.

12:01My stepson hit me up on my space.

12:05It was like, your mom's sick.

12:08I'm thinking, sick, like, okay.

12:10So, I called her, and just how I'm talking.

12:13LaRonna said, everything's fine.

12:15I'm like, Mom, what's going on?

12:16Everything's fine.

12:17You're just talking normal.

12:19So, by the time my contract ended, I found out that she had cancer.

12:25And they was like, LaRonna, you got to go.

12:26You got to go see your mom.

12:28So, I flew back to Memphis.

12:29So, I had to get the money to go see her, because she was up in Maryland.

12:33I'm like, your mama, she want to see you.

12:35So, I'll remind you why everybody's telling me this.

12:37I'm calling her, Mom, what's going on?

12:39And she's talking to me like, LaRonna, everything's fine.

12:42They told me she was in a rehab center.

12:44So, I went there, and that cancer took over her body.

12:49My mom, she was a healthy woman, and she had to probably be at least about 60, 70 pounds.

12:56And I was like, Mom, she was like, hey, LaRonna, and she was like, she still could not tell me.

13:02I'm like, I'm looking right at her.

13:04She's like, everything's fine.

13:06So, I'm like, when did all this happen?

13:08So, I came probably that ride, and she passed away that Sunday.

13:14So, I'm looking.

13:15I got questions.

13:16I'm mad now, because I'm like, why didn't nobody tell me anything?

13:22Like, didn't nobody want to tell me?

13:24And she just kept telling me, do not let her know.

13:28Because she felt like I wasn't that strong, but I was strong.

13:33If you would have told me way before ahead of time, I would have took a way different route.

13:38So, she passed.

13:39We had the funeral.

13:41He come.

13:42I'm like, I'm not going to do this.

13:44I can't.

13:45Nah.

13:46Because by then, everybody knew what was going on with him, and they was feeling like,

13:54if your mom was here, bump that.

13:56Nah.

13:57So, he ended up sitting next to me after the funeral.

14:01I couldn't even focus on the funeral, because I'm like, why are you sitting next to me?

14:06And then he had to put his arm around me.

14:09Oh, and I just felt like my dad, he knew something.

14:12My dad flew down to the other side.

14:15So, after the funeral, I didn't talk to him, like, the whole time, like, there ain't nothing

14:20to change.

14:21Nah.

14:22You're not going to, no, we're not going to play that.

14:25So, after the funeral, he tried to call me.

14:28I wouldn't ask.

14:29He left a voicemail.

14:30He was like, why are you not talking to me?

14:32Like, he was, like, actually mad, like, like, I'm his girl?

14:35No.

14:36And that's been since 2007, and I haven't heard from him since then.

14:42And then come to find out, after that, he ended up assaulting two more girls in the service.

14:48So, this is a demon, like, he don't care who you is.

14:52That's how bad it is.

14:54So, after my mom died, I took the wrong route.

14:57I was drinking, teal, every night.

15:00I just didn't care no more.

15:02So, I tried to hide it.

15:04The pressure was kicking in.

15:06I wanted to clean up my house.

15:08My dad, I was distanced from him.

15:11Like, he'll be knocking on the door.

15:12I want to answer.

15:13And one time, he came in.

15:15My house was just tore up.

15:16And he was like, what is wrong with you?

15:18He was like, your mom was a clean person.

15:21I'm like, I don't, what they got to do with this thing?

15:23I was down.

15:24Like, I felt like, at that time, I didn't have that support that I needed.

15:29It was more like, oh, your mom's gone.

15:31And after so long, everybody's back to their own business.

15:35So, after that, I started having panic attacks.

15:38I used to wake up and just, just wake up screaming.

15:41I didn't know what was going on.

15:42I was going to the doctor.

15:44It was like nothing they could explain.

15:46So, after I had my daughter, I named her.

15:50I said, my mom, she looked just like her.

15:52Had her.

15:53Then probably when I turned, probably around 10, the trauma started coming back.

15:59During the pandemic.

16:00It was like, I was just carrying all this dead weight.

16:03I was just crying.

16:05And I used to get so mad, like my mom.

16:08And I'm like, what is going on?

16:09Like, my brain was like, just scrambled.

16:13Like, I was walking around.

16:14Like, somebody made me mad.

16:16It was like I would turn into this monster.

16:18And I was just like, what is going on?

16:21I ended up going to the behavioral doctor and telling them what was going on with my life.

16:28And they were telling me I had anxiety and depression.

16:31So, I got on medication.

16:34It's just one pill, but it worked wonders.

16:37When I tell you I'm a whole different person, it's, I'm able to focus.

16:43I'm able to just be myself again.

16:47For these last past couple years, it was dark.

16:50It was like, like a demon was inside me.

16:52Because people don't realize when you do have intercourse, rape or not, whatever.

16:58Like, sometimes I feel like no spirit would like transfer into you.

17:03So, I just felt like at that time, I was like, I like almost felt like him.

17:08And it was like, I cannot be this person.

17:13It was bad.

17:14Like, I was like, literally, like, knocking myself up in the house, raising my daughter.

17:20I had to tell him, like, just leave me alone.

17:23I said, mommy, she's going to be okay.

17:25But I didn't want to hurt her.

17:27I didn't want to say nothing else to her.

17:29So, I was just like, just keep your distance.

17:32And that's what I knew.

17:33I said, I got to get help.

17:35Because I told myself I was not going to be like my mom.

17:38Like, I had to break each curse.

17:40And I did.

17:42Right now, I'm just better.

17:43Like, all the stuff I've been through, it's amazing that I'm still here.

17:48And I could just take it one day at a time.

17:51That's all I can do.

17:53For me to break that generational curse, I had to learn from my mother's mistake.

17:59Because I told myself, if I have a daughter, it's not going to be, you know, sharing a

18:04ruling with your, if you did have siblings, it's not going to be just walking around.

18:10Because my mom, she used to walk around in the news.

18:13So, I had to, like, change all of that.

18:16So, I had to talk to my daughter.

18:19I'm more vocal.

18:20I'm like, if anything happens to you, just talk, come talk to me.

18:24Just tell me the truth.

18:26Like, I had to be really, like, the total opposite of my mom to break these curse.

18:32Because my mom, she was, she came from, they didn't talk about none of that.

18:36My mom asked me one time in front of him, oh, you had to say, I'm looking like, just out

18:43the blue, I was like, no, like, why would she, it was just like, she did not know how

18:50to, that affectionate, I was like, no.

18:53If I have a daughter, I'm going to make sure that she knows that she's love, she's beautiful.

18:58I'm always going to be here.

19:01And that's what I did.

19:02Because with Lola, she able to come talk to me about anything.

19:05I had to tell her about dressing herself.

19:08Make sure when you wear a skirt, have tights on, all that.

19:12Because it's like, now, I'm kind of overbearing.

19:15Because when you go through that, you see, it's like, your alert being on, like, 50.

19:22Like, you looking at everything, I'm looking like, and I had to, and I had to tell, tell

19:29my daughter what I went through.

19:30And I had to tell her about it, like, this stuff does happen, and it's still happening.

19:36And I told her, I refuse to even put you in no type of situations, like, leaving you with

19:42girls and boys, even with just girls, period.

19:45Like, I just had to do it.

19:47I take care of myself first.

19:50I had to learn to be like, even though I am a mother, I had to say, LaRonda, you got

19:56to take care of yourself first to be a better mother.

20:00So, lately, with my medication, I have to stay on top of my medication.

20:05But right now, I try to write, try to listen to my music.

20:09I try to take care of myself first.

20:13Because when you grow up with stuff like that, it's like, sometimes you paying for people

20:18to love you.

20:18You're, like, banging them like, I'll do anything.

20:21And so people are so used to you doing it, I had to start learning how to say no to

20:25folks

20:25now.

20:26I had to really learn how to take care of me.

20:29Because if I can't take care of me, I'm not able to be a better mother, to be a better

20:34person in a relationship.

20:35I just had to just listen to myself first.

20:37Because I tell people, do not be scared of medication.

20:42A lot of people always have, no, no, they're going to do this.

20:46No.

20:46If you really want to get yourself free, it's okay to take medication.

20:51Because the way my mind was, I just couldn't do it.

20:55It was either do or die.

20:57Because I felt like I was going to do something crazy that was going to jeopardize myself.

21:01Like, it was bad.

21:04My advice for people that's been through what I've been through is, it's not your fault.

21:10Number one, don't blame yourself.

21:12You are not the victim.

21:14I know it might sound scripted, but it's true.

21:17It's not your fault.

21:19Get it out.

21:19Do not hold it in.

21:22Because it's like, the more you hold it in, it's just dead weight.

21:26You might think you're fine, but I promise you, it's going to come back out.

21:31It's no way of running from trauma unless you take it by the horn and they handle it and

21:38say, look, I've been what I've been through, but I'm still here.

21:42It's okay to get help.

21:44It's okay to talk to somebody.

21:46I tell anybody, young, old, if you're going through it, please let somebody know.

21:54Please call somebody.

21:56Do not let them win over you.

21:59Because it's like, they will have a hold over you and you just cannot live like that.

22:05Your mind has to be at peace.

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