Nita's Story Of Surviving Childhood Abuse

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories, we are speaking with Nita, who was grew up in London with her twin. When they were 8 years old they started going to the park alone and made friends with some older boys who started to sexually abuse them from that very young age. This horrific abuse carried on throughout their whole childhoods and this is the story of how they survived.   #UnfilteredStories #SexualAbuse #ChildhoodTrauma    Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00He pushed me down and wouldn't stop and I screamed and cried and I was like please stop,

00:06please don't do this. Hello, my name is Nita and this is my story of how I became a survivor

00:11of

00:11childhood sexual abuse. I grew up in London and moved out of the city when I was eight. We started

00:17hanging out in the park at eight years old and because I had a twin we always had each other

00:22so I think we got more freedom to go out. We made friends with some other kids at the local

00:26park,

00:27Charlie and Drew. Charlie was our age and Drew was older. He was about 14 when we turned nine and

00:34we'd go and build bases and play hide and seek and all those silly games you play as a child

00:38but very

00:39slowly Drew would start bringing in sort of sexual things, themes to the games. I remember the first

00:46time we were playing dares. Charlie spun the bottle and it landed on me and he shouted I dare you

00:53to

00:53Drew and I didn't know what the word meant. I looked at my twin to see if she knew and

00:58before I knew it

00:58he jumped on top of me, pushed me down and pushed my skirt up. Gradually that turned into full-on

01:03sexual

01:04favours. My whole body was frozen. I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe. Me and my sister, we never

01:10said it verbally but it's like we agreed silently not to tell anyone. I remember going home that day

01:17and we just carried on like it was a normal day. My mum asked how was the park. We said

01:21yeah it was

01:21good and just back to normal. I think as a child you're so resilient and it was just we just

01:26shut

01:26it out. We continued to hang out with Drew and Charlie. So we'd started martial arts and we had

01:33to keep our weight down for that and Charlie had ADHD so he was prescribed Ritalin which is a stimulant

01:39close to speed, close to amphetamine and makes you not hungry. So I started taking that from him age

01:47nine to lose weight for sport. Drew who was 15 by this point and when nine had brought his friend

01:53into the mix we'd be made to sort of sit on their laps while they touched us. They put our

01:58hands on

01:58their private parts and it was just really uncomfortable. I didn't know how to stop it but

02:04I felt like I'd be in trouble if I asked to have grown up. Over the next year or so

02:08the sexual

02:09body became more and more severe. There was one incident where Drew had us one each. He took his

02:15turns with me and my sister and made us sort of imitate and it didn't go in but it was

02:22naked skin

02:22on skin touching and that was really scared and that was underneath a sheet on top of the garages

02:27and two adults walked past and saw the sheet going up and down and they just laughed. They didn't try

02:33and

02:33help me they just laughed. There was another incident we went swimming and they'd just been horrible

02:38the whole time making us do sexual favours in the pool and there was like a forest next to the

02:44swimming pool and hang out there for an hour until my mum could pick us up. Drew and his friend

02:50who was

02:51his age they just started demanding sexual favours and they said that we couldn't go with them unless

02:56we we ran out of the woods and we called mum we asked to be picked up and mum said

03:02sort of why what's

03:03going on and I said they said they can't we can't hang out with them unless we I just said

03:08it that fast

03:08my heart was pounding 100 miles an hour and my mum she answered on the phone like what what did

03:14you

03:15just say and I said oh no nothing don't worry and then she never followed through on it that sort

03:20of

03:20made me think it was my fault or I couldn't tell anyone about it and eventually there was one big

03:28incident about two weeks before my 11th birthday it was in the summer summer holidays I'd gone to pick

03:33up Ritalin the medication I was using for weight loss from Charlie but it was a sort of an ambush

03:39Drew was there his friend was there they took me to the back of the park started trying to make

03:43me kiss

03:44him and then ended up on top of me ended up raping me I managed to leave eventually and I

03:50never went

03:51back out to them after that I never went back to the park I thought that was enough that was

03:54the

03:54breaking point and all of this had happened to my sister as well I remember I was covered in blood

04:00so I got home and I threw my clothes away and jumped in the bath with all my clothes on

04:04I felt dirty and

04:05ashamed and I didn't want to tell anyone I overdosed that night I just thought I'm pregnant what do I

04:10do

04:10so I took every pill I could find in the house and this is at 10 years old I just

04:16felt like there

04:16was something wrong with me and with the judo and jujitsu the sport I was so top game like top

04:23level

04:23they were telling me I was going to be in the Olympics if I stayed working this hard I thought

04:27I didn't want to let people down I thought sort of everyone goes through that because they had other

04:32victims that we'd meet so it would happen to other girls so we all thought it was normal and when

04:37I

04:37tried to tell an older friend she was 15 and I was 12 and she asked have you have I

04:43done something

04:44with a boy and I said yeah um Drew was only 14 there and she's like oh that that means

04:49you were

04:49nine years old that's disgusting so I thought it was my fault I started turning to alcohol and I was

04:56trying to find self-harm and bulimia started then as well to just deal with it to escape and I

05:03really

05:03spent nearly all of my teen years I'd say from 12 to 17 suicidally depressed running away a lot

05:12arguing with everybody with my parents and my family and teachers and the police and getting

05:18arrested a lot because my behavior I just couldn't control it I just and I didn't understand that it

05:23was because of the abuse I just thought there's something wrong with me I started trying to clean

05:28my life up so I got a job as a lifeguard I was off not hanging out with anyone I

05:32never went back to

05:33the estate where all my friends or all my drug friends had been I just traded my addiction for

05:37eating disorder so I started my anorexia I got really bad I was eating really low calories I'm

05:42not going to see the numbers because I don't want to trigger anyone I eventually met a boyfriend my

05:47first boyfriend at work and it was like an escape from sort of my dad being angry at me for

05:53losing

05:53loads of weight and it was an escape from the pain at home because there was a lot of love

05:57but also

05:58a lot of pain in that house I started staying with this boyfriend at first he was really nice by

06:03me

06:03presents talk to me like really sweet but I wasn't ready to have yet because of the he was 30

06:09and I

06:09was 17 and I'd kiss and cuddle do a bit of you know place like foreplay but then I'd stop

06:15I couldn't

06:15go in and usually he'd stop but this other this third time we'd have a little bit to drink he

06:20wasn't

06:20drunk I think he was using that as an excuse and he pushed me down and wouldn't stop and I

06:27screamed

06:27and cried and I was like please stop please don't do this and I remember being told when you first

06:32have just think it'll be over in a minute it'll be over in a minute because it's very painful for

06:37a

06:37lot of women so I just cried and it silently I could call the police now and get swabbed and

06:43get

06:44prosecution but then I thought of all the anger and pain and arguments that went my family went through

06:50last time with Drew and his friends so I thought there's no way I can put my family through that

06:56again so I cleaned myself up put on a brave face and went back into the room and kissed and

07:03cuddled

07:04and just hung out and went to work the next days if nothing had happened I started becoming withdrawn

07:11after that though and then he'd sort of make me have and the arguments started the controls started

07:18and like he wouldn't let me have my phone or talk to my friends he eventually cut me off from

07:23all my

07:23friends and even my family he locked me in a room for five days once and he'd starve me and

07:29make me have

07:29with his friends which I found out later he'd taken money for but when that happens so many times

07:35it makes you feel like your body is just a body to be used and it doesn't matter and I

07:42think my soul

07:43my head is somewhere else this body is just a vessel that I need to experience life so it stopped

07:51hurting

07:52after a while and my bulimia got super bad so bad that I lost all movement in the bottom of

07:58my leg

07:58because of vitamin deficiency from constantly purging and he started being horrible to me you know he

08:04sort of beat me up sometimes I remember saying to myself if he says one bad thing to me I'm

08:10not

08:10going back I've got all my stuff I don't need to go back there if he says one bad thing

08:14first thing

08:16he said coming up to me you look like you look disgusting you're so ugly and I just ignored him

08:22I didn't even fight back I just ignored him and I never went around there again and eventually you

08:27know he came back with oh I'm sorry I love you you know we're crazy but we're together I just

08:32ignored him

08:33and he ended up committing a couple years ago so I guess karma you know and I don't know how

08:40to

08:40feel about that um because obviously he really hurt me but it's still a life and life's so precious

08:46and we should be grateful for it you know so it's still sad after being trafficked after that stopped

08:53I never really got any official help but I ended up reading um fragile by Nikki Graham who sadly passed

09:00away now and it's a book about her story with anorexia and I just thought I could do that I

09:04could

09:05write a book so I started writing just got everything out and it was really helpful and really therapeutic

09:10but also sad taught me a lot about myself because it just got everything out on paper and in the

09:15open

09:15and I wrote it as a story I published that when I was 19 and it sold quite a few

09:21and everyone that

09:22read it said it was really helpful I had parents of children coming up to me saying hey you know

09:27my

09:27kids struggling with behavioural issues do you think something's happened I think when a kid

09:33suddenly starts misbehaving a kid that's been good as gold and they suddenly start misbehaving

09:38something's happened to them to make that happen and it might not always be sexual but it's really

09:43important to ask them and I think with children you really have to ask the right questions because

09:48they're not able to verbalize what they've been through so you do it with small questions even if

09:53something happened years ago did something happen years ago anything has anyone ever made you feel

09:57uncomfortable and touch you and then they could go into that they might go into remembering because

10:02they won't know themselves the only way and the best way to get back at your abusers is to go

10:07and live a

10:08good life it's successful happy positive life and love and live and laugh sorry to be cheesy but

10:13go and enjoy and experience everything in spite of what they did and if you can channel that to teach

10:21others

10:21how to deal with it that's even better because you're passing it on and spreading sort of positivity

10:27and release through people's struggles I want to share my story so that other victims know that it's

10:35okay and it's not their fault I think signs people should look out for that might suggest

10:42is behavioural changes especially in children like are they suddenly misbehaving when they're usually

10:49really good are they suddenly withdrawing from work not wanting to hang out with friends being sort of

10:54isolated on their own acting dramatically and crying and shouting and screaming at really small

11:00sort of triggers you have to look at everyone like they could hurt your kids so that it wouldn't

11:06happen to them and I think we have to teach our kids how to verbalize it say for example telling

11:13your

11:13kids hey that's your private area no one's allowed to touch that if someone touches that you tell

11:19mummy or daddy or their caretakers I think maybe a piece of advice I'd give to anybody currently going

11:25through or has been through it in the past is tell someone tell someone tell somebody it's okay you're

11:33not going to be in trouble and even if the first person you tell doesn't react the way you'd hope

11:39they

11:39would go and tell somebody else because most people will be there and support you and know that it's not

11:46your fault and with going to the police just because something happened years ago doesn't

11:52mean they can't look into it now they do get a lot of successful convictions I have a lot of

11:57goals

11:57and dreams despite what I've been through I think sharing my story on youtube and other platforms is

12:04really important to me I still believe love is real I still believe the majority of people are good in

12:09this world

12:10I forgive everyone so that I can forgive myself because the only person you're punishing by holding

12:16on to all that hatred and anger is yourself I think my biggest advice is just to keep pushing on

12:22life's

12:22hard but you're here for a reason and it's so magical and unique that we're even here on this planet

12:29and

12:29life that we exist and that's a gift and please don't ever underestimate the hole that you will leave if

12:35you

12:35left early so just keep fighting and searching and trying thank you so much for listening to my story

12:42I hope you've got something from it I think please remember you were so worth it and special and loved

12:48and amazing and it's life will get better it always does

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