- 2 days ago
- #unfilteredstories
- #survivorstories
In today's powerful episode of Unfiltered Stories, we have the privilege of hearing from Monique Crusoe-Cheeks as she courageously shares her life journey with us. Monique's story begins in a troubled home environment, where she witnessed her mother enduring hardships inflicted by her father. Yearning for a positive paternal presence in her life, Monique's hopes were briefly raised when a stepfather entered their family dynamic.
However, the initial promise of happiness was shattered when Monique found herself subjected to deeply distressing experiences at the hands of her stepfather. Betrayed by the very father figures she had looked to for love and protection, Monique was forced to navigate an incredibly challenging path, carrying the weight of her pain and disappointment. Despite the immense adversity she has faced, Monique's strength and resilience shine through as she bravely confronts her past and shares her unfiltered story with the world. Her journey serves as a testament to the indomitable human spirit and the power of speaking one's truth in the face of unimaginable hardship. Join us as we listen to Monique's transformative story and bear witness to the courage and determination of survivors who refuse to be silenced.
#UnfilteredStories #survivorstories
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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However, the initial promise of happiness was shattered when Monique found herself subjected to deeply distressing experiences at the hands of her stepfather. Betrayed by the very father figures she had looked to for love and protection, Monique was forced to navigate an incredibly challenging path, carrying the weight of her pain and disappointment. Despite the immense adversity she has faced, Monique's strength and resilience shine through as she bravely confronts her past and shares her unfiltered story with the world. Her journey serves as a testament to the indomitable human spirit and the power of speaking one's truth in the face of unimaginable hardship. Join us as we listen to Monique's transformative story and bear witness to the courage and determination of survivors who refuse to be silenced.
#UnfilteredStories #survivorstories
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅
Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB
Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT
Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN
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NewsTranscript
00:00Hi, this is Monique, also known as Ms. Neek or Ms. Neek Revamp, and I am a survivor of child
00:07I am survivor of, you know, teen pregnancy, suicide. My upbringing was very challenging.
00:14There was a time when I remember my parents weren't getting along. I remember arguing. I remember my mom crying.
00:22I remember things like my mom calling and asking my daddy when he was coming home because he just wanted
00:27to come home.
00:28Like, he would go to work, and I don't know where else he ended up.
00:31My mom was very isolated. You know, I guess she felt judged by her family, so she didn't really feel
00:36comfortable talking to them about what was going on in her marriage.
00:39So, she didn't really have anybody to talk to. She didn't have any friends because my father did not allow
00:44her to have friends.
00:45I didn't know that until I got older. So, I was my mother's best friend, literally.
00:50And when she needed somebody to talk to, she talked to me, even though I was like seven.
00:56I remember being told that he was cheating, and she was real, real upset. Like, real, real upset.
01:04I remember hearing her yelling through the phone, you know, we'll come get your s*** in. I guess we're done.
01:09And I never heard my mom talk like that. My mom used to be a really, really good mom.
01:13She really, really was. Like, incredibly attentive to us, myself and my sister.
01:18So, I remember this day, my dad and his friend came over. Came over to the house.
01:24I was super happy to see my dad. Of course, you know, like I hadn't seen him. Super too happy
01:29to see him.
01:30And I remember he, you know, kind of gave me a dry hug, but then kind of pushed by me
01:36to, like, you know, to kind of get with my mother.
01:39Or whatever the case might be. Now, I've never, prior to this, I had never seen anything physical happen between
01:46my parents.
01:47My mother said, you know, you guys, go upstairs in your room and play.
01:51You know, I guess she knew what was going to happen. I don't know. You know what I'm saying?
01:54Well, she was just trying to protect us from whatever was going to happen.
01:57And so, you know, we didn't want to go upstairs because daddy just came home.
02:01So, you know, we want to be down here with daddy.
02:03And he said very aggressively, go get in your room, you know.
02:08And so, I grabbed my little sister and we went upstairs. We went to our room.
02:12He was like, go to bed.
02:13So, we went in our room and we went and laid down in our bed.
02:16And I could hear arguing. I hear lots and lots and lots of arguing from downstairs.
02:21And I remember my mom saying, well, if you're going to leave, just get and leave.
02:26And remember, my dad had a friend with him.
02:29And so, I'm thinking like, well, why don't I hear that man?
02:34You know, like, why is he not saying anything or whatever?
02:37Well, ultimately, I hear the door slam.
02:39And so, I think nothing of it.
02:42You know, I'm crying because I'm like, daddy gone now.
02:45You know what I mean?
02:45Like, because I hear him saying, leave, leave, leave.
02:48And I'm like, I know that he's gone.
02:49A few minutes later, my daddy is climbing through my bedroom window.
02:54And of course, I'm startled.
02:56I'm like, daddy.
02:58And he's like, shh, shh, lay down, baby, lay down.
03:01He comes in through my window, goes out of my bedroom door, goes downstairs.
03:06And all I hear is a huge ruckus.
03:10I hear, it seemed like the house was being moved.
03:13And so, of course, startled, I run downstairs.
03:16You know what I'm saying?
03:17But I don't go all the way downstairs.
03:19At first, I kind of go to the stairs.
03:23And I kind of, you know, like, peer, you know, peer out of the spindles.
03:28And when I see, I will never, ever, unfortunately, ever be able to get out of my mind.
03:32I saw my mother laying on the kitchen floor.
03:35And my father mounted on top of her.
03:38And he was doing this to her head, to the floor.
03:42And I saw his friend standing right over, not trying to stop it, not breaking it up, not getting in
03:50the middle.
03:51Nothing.
03:51That all I am saying is, come on, low down.
03:53Come on.
03:54Come on.
03:55Come on.
03:55Like, not doing anything else to intervene in that.
03:58So, of course, when I see that, as a child, I immediately slide down the stairs.
04:03And I'm literally screaming, stop.
04:07Stop.
04:08You know, because I don't know.
04:09I don't know, but I know this ain't right.
04:11You know what I'm saying?
04:12And I'm just like, stop, stop.
04:13And I'm yelling, and I'm screaming.
04:15And I'm saying, daddy, daddy, like, get off of her.
04:17Get off of her.
04:18And the look in his eyes, it was like he didn't even see me there.
04:22So, the only thing I knew to do was to call my grandmother, my grandmother, my mother's mother, who lived,
04:27like, three blocks away.
04:29And so, that's all I could do, because I think my mother told me to call the police.
04:33But he said, you better not call the police.
04:35So, I called my grandmother, who, to me, is the police.
04:38You know what I'm saying?
04:39And so, I called my grandmother, and she was like, well, because I'm hysterical.
04:45You know, my grandmother's never heard me in this way.
04:47I'm hysterical.
04:47I don't know.
04:48You know, and so, she's like, what's wrong?
04:50And I'm like, my daddy and my mama, they fight.
04:52You know, they fight.
04:53And I'm like, he's on, you know, on top of her.
04:55And this, that, and the other thing.
04:56And when I tell you, my grandmother at the time was a very heavyset woman, okay?
05:01Maybe, maybe almost 300 pounds, if not 300 pounds.
05:04Like, a very heavyset woman.
05:06And like I said, she lived about three blocks away.
05:10Baby, when I tell you, it seemed like my grandmother was outside the door, because she got there that fast.
05:16It seemed like, seemed like I hung up from her, and she was there.
05:20Like, it just, I mean, I don't know if grandma ran.
05:22I ain't never seen grandma run before, or whatever the case may be.
05:25But I'm telling you, it is seen, in my little mind, she was there quick.
05:29And when she got there, of course, when she got there, he was still, like, kind of bullying.
05:35You know, like, bullying over my mama.
05:37And I want to say that he was still on top of my mother, actually.
05:41Because what I remember is my grandmother grabbing him, lifting him up, and saying,
05:49Hey, if you don't get your hands off my door, you better.
05:53That's what I heard her say.
05:54And I heard him say something disrespectful to her.
05:57And all I saw, now my father is 6'3 1⁄2", my grandmother, probably 5'5".
06:04I saw her lift this man off his feet, up against the wall.
06:09Now, that might have been my 7-year-old imagination.
06:12What I saw, I'm telling you what I saw.
06:14And it is how I remember it.
06:16It's always how I remember it.
06:18And all I know is that he never came back after that date.
06:22Like, he never came back after that date.
06:25My mother continued to try to, like, co-parent, you know, or whatever the case may be.
06:30My mama had a very hard time being single.
06:34You know what I'm saying?
06:35Like, because since she was 16, she had been with this man.
06:38And, you know, now this is her husband, and she has two children with him.
06:43You know what I'm saying?
06:44And a home.
06:45And I saw my mother doing things that I was very proud of, right?
06:51I saw my mom finally have friends, right?
06:55She had one good girlfriend.
06:57Oh, my God.
06:59Me and her sons, the same age.
07:01Like, we kind of grew up around each other.
07:03She was always mama's friend at that time.
07:05But, you know, she just wasn't able to actively, like, hang out with her.
07:09You know what I'm saying?
07:09But, so, they were high school friends and stuff like that.
07:13You know what I'm saying?
07:13So, she was able to start hanging out with, you know, with this friend.
07:18You know, kind of getting into her femininity, you know, and stuff like that.
07:23And so, mom started getting her nails done, which she hadn't done before.
07:28Or, you know, mom experimented with wearing makeup.
07:33You know, I mean, just things that I feel like she should have been able to do.
07:36She should have been doing, like, the whole time.
07:38You know what I'm saying?
07:38But, knowing now the insecurities of my father did not allow her to, you know, to dress herself up or
07:45be pretty.
07:47Ultimately, that led to her finally meeting someone.
07:50And my mama, she did.
07:52She did it the right way.
07:53This man wanted to be with her.
07:55He courted her.
07:56She made him court her.
07:58You know what I'm saying?
07:59She went out with him several times, you know, like, over a course of a month.
08:04Never brought him home.
08:06When she finally decided that, you know, she was serious about him, she brought him home to meet us.
08:13We all had dinner.
08:15We had dinner.
08:16He was a good guy.
08:18He had good energy.
08:19He was very engaging with myself and my sister.
08:23You know what I'm saying?
08:23He gave me good vibes.
08:25Like, you know, you know, he was coming over more.
08:29You know, obviously, at this point, you know, my sister and I have given our seal of approval, so to
08:36speak, right?
08:37And so, mom feels comfortable dating him.
08:40To me, things moved fast.
08:42Like, we lived in our apartment, I don't even know how long.
08:47But we didn't really ever have furniture.
08:49We had furniture.
08:50We had beds and things like that.
08:52And we had, like, my grandmother.
08:55I believe my grandmother's, like, old couch and, you know, stuff like that because my grandmother had gotten new furniture.
08:59So, we had, like, hand-me-down furniture.
09:01It was nice.
09:02It was what we had.
09:03You know what I'm saying?
09:03We made the best of it.
09:04But I remember when he moved in, for the sake of this story, I'm going to call him Chester.
09:12So, when he moved in, he had this beautiful furniture.
09:18Oh, my God.
09:19It was the first time I'd ever seen velvet furniture.
09:22He had, like, this deep blue velvet, like, sectional with an ottoman.
09:29I mean, honey, he came and hooked our house up, okay?
09:32His furniture was honey.
09:34Okay, you know, he's got taste.
09:37You know, mama always liked him because he was a good dresser.
09:41You know what I'm saying?
09:42So, they were enjoying each other and stuff like that.
09:45I don't remember having a whole lot of interactions with him.
09:49Like, my memory, probably some of it has been suppressed because of ultimate trauma I did, you know, encounter at
09:58the hands of this man.
09:59But I will say that not long after they met, my mother ended up pregnant.
10:06And I felt like I didn't see my mother that much.
10:09Like, my mom didn't have a job.
10:11She was in the home.
10:12But I never saw her.
10:14Also know that he put bars up to our windows.
10:19He put bars, like, and he did that because he knew that my dad had creeped in my window that
10:26day.
10:26He had assaulted my mother.
10:28I didn't know how I felt about the bars, you know, because we had never had bars before.
10:32He also put a lock on my mother's door.
10:35Now, we've always been able to just come in and out of my mother's room freely.
10:39You know, even my daddy at home.
10:41We just freely go in and out of my mother's room, her bedroom door.
10:44And I didn't understand that.
10:46But I'm seven, almost eight years old.
10:49I don't know what's happening.
10:50You know what I'm saying?
10:50I'm just, these are immediate things.
10:52And when I look back at it, you know what I'm saying, were probably red flags.
10:56But I'm a kid.
10:57You know what I mean?
10:58Like, what am I?
10:59I don't know.
11:00My mom started becoming kind of, like, angry.
11:03And this was different.
11:04My mama wasn't an angry person before.
11:07You know, even despite going through whatever she would do with my father.
11:11She was never, she was so loving, so soft.
11:15My mama never whooped us.
11:17Never.
11:18And so one day, I came home from school.
11:21And I used to always come in through the back door.
11:24There was a bed in the pantry.
11:27I looked closer.
11:28It's my bed.
11:30My bed has now been pulled from my bedroom to the pantry.
11:34And I was like, what the hell?
11:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
11:37What?
11:39Chester convinces my mom that I want my own room and I should get it.
11:45And that he can move my bedroom down to the pantry.
11:50Right?
11:51Which wasn't really being used for anything.
11:53When I tell you, I was against it.
11:56I didn't want to be in a pantry.
11:57In any places, I didn't want to be in a pantry.
11:59I want to say that it was within that first week that my bed was in a pantry.
12:03We only had one bathroom.
12:05And that was upstairs where bedrooms were.
12:08And I had to go to use the bathroom.
12:10So I had to leave the pantry, my bedroom, and, you know, go up the stairs to go to the
12:16bathroom.
12:16Well, as I started to climb up the stairs, Chester, in his robe, I guess, was coming down the stairs.
12:24He saw me and it startled me because this man was very, very dark.
12:29So in the dark, you can't really see him.
12:31I see his red robe, you know what I'm saying?
12:34And so I'm going up and I kind of stop, you know what I'm saying, and flinch.
12:38And Chester stood at the top of the stairs knowing that I'm coming up the stairs and opened his robe,
12:46revealing his entire anatomy to me.
12:50I was stuck.
12:51I didn't even know what to do.
12:53I was stuck.
12:55Like, literally stuck.
12:57I bet you I didn't say to the stairs.
13:00I walked right back down them steps and got in my bed.
13:04And I remember laying there petrified.
13:08I did not know why he did that.
13:10I don't know why.
13:11I didn't know what's going to happen.
13:13I didn't know.
13:14I didn't really know what was happening.
13:15So I was petrified.
13:17I laid there shaking.
13:19I don't even know what to say.
13:20You know what I'm saying?
13:21I didn't say anything the next day or anything like that.
13:24But I knew that that was wrong.
13:26So I want to say a couple of days later, I was going to go upstairs again to use the
13:31bathroom.
13:32My mother was asleep.
13:34My sister was asleep.
13:36I was going to go ahead and go up to the bathroom.
13:39But he had come downstairs to the kitchen, maybe to throw something away or whatever, you know.
13:44And he came in to the pantry and, you know, was talking to me or whatever.
13:50And anyway, he, I don't even remember, like, the conversation.
13:54That's how irrelevant the conversation was to me.
13:56But I can tell you that he asked me if he could check me.
14:01And I said, what do you need to check me for?
14:04Check me for what?
14:05But I just knew that it felt wrong.
14:07You know what I'm saying?
14:08Like, I knew that it was wrong.
14:10Whatever he wanted to do, I just knew that it was wrong.
14:12He laid me down on my bed.
14:14I had a nightgown on.
14:16I had, like, a Care Bears nightgown on.
14:19And, you know, I had my undies on.
14:21And I remember him removing my undies and me, you know, grabbing them.
14:24Like, no.
14:25You know, like, what are you doing?
14:26You know, like, well, whatever.
14:28But he got them off me.
14:30You know, I don't know if he, whatever he said, he got them off me.
14:33You know what I'm saying?
14:34And I remember him saying, if they're hurt, I'll stop.
14:38That's exactly what he said.
14:39If they're hurt, I'll stop.
14:40This man proceeded to try to me with his anatomy, which did not budge, did not do anything, did not
14:50nothing.
14:51You understand what I'm saying?
14:52I'm backing all the way up off the bed, you know.
14:54But he wasn't content with that, right?
14:57So when his anatomy wouldn't, you know what I mean, do anything, he said, well, come here.
15:06Let me use my finger.
15:07So he said, you know, again, if it hurt, I'll stop.
15:13This man went and grabbed some petroleum jelly.
15:18He smeared it on his finger.
15:20And he proceeded to enter my little eight-year-old body with his finger.
15:26That did pierce me.
15:28It was almost like as soon as it was, you know, like too much, you know, like I, cause he
15:34had me, he kind of had me like bear down.
15:36It was not, I wasn't no running.
15:38You know what I mean?
15:39Like one, no, one, no, I'm this puny little, you know, eight-year-old, you know, like one, no getting
15:46away from it.
15:47You get what I'm saying?
15:47And my mother was right upstairs.
15:51My mother and my sister are upstairs.
15:54And I'm like crying and everything.
15:57But she don't hear it.
16:00You know, he was like, you know, if you tell your mama, she not going to believe you, right?
16:04That's literally what he told me.
16:05He said, you know, if you tell your mama, if you say something, you know, she not going to believe
16:09you.
16:09He said, you see how I had her whooping?
16:12I'll have her do that again.
16:14Like, she just not going to believe you.
16:15And I, how am I not to believe that?
16:19How am I not to believe that?
16:21Like, this man literally talked my mama through my whooping.
16:24Like, how do I not believe that?
16:26So one day, one rare, rare day, my mother let me stop, let me go over to my grandmother's house
16:34to get my hair washed.
16:35The Dara people came to our school.
16:37And this was the first time I ever, you know, really heard about stranger danger.
16:42This was also the first time I had learned that what was happening to me was called and that it
16:51was bad.
16:52And the person, the cop that was talking to us was a woman.
16:55And she was explaining to us that it's usually people that we know, people close to us, family members and
17:00stuff like that.
17:01She said that a light bulb popped off in my head.
17:04I knew what he did was wrong, but I just didn't know how to express or explain it or say
17:09what it was.
17:10I didn't know.
17:11And, of course, I knew my mother wouldn't believe me, but I didn't have anybody else to go to.
17:15But knowing that day that I was going to go get my hair washed by my grandmother, I said, oh,
17:19baby, that's my savior right there.
17:21So when my grandmother washed my hair, when she was done with the second conditioning, I told her, I said,
17:27Mama, I got to tell you something.
17:28And so she was like, what's wrong?
17:30What's going on?
17:31And, you know, to talk to her while she was washing my hair.
17:33And I was like, no, I need to tell you this in private.
17:36Like, this is between me and you.
17:38We were at my aunt's house.
17:40And so, you know, when she was done, my grandmother, she just knew.
17:43She knew.
17:44She knew.
17:44She knew it was going to be bad.
17:45So I went and told my grandmother exactly what happened in front of my auntie.
17:50The anger and the fury that came out of that room, you would not even imagine.
17:55My grandmother went downstairs, called my mother, and told my mother.
17:58She said, you need to listen to your daughter.
18:01Listen to what she got to say.
18:02And she said, baby, tell your mother what happened.
18:04And I told my mother what happened.
18:05And I promise you, it was almost like it was rehearsed.
18:09My mother called me every line, little, that you could ever hear.
18:14My mother didn't have conversations like that with me.
18:17You understand what I'm saying?
18:18I was a liar.
18:20I probably wanted it.
18:22Like, all those sorts of things.
18:23My grandmother didn't send me back to that house.
18:25Moving forward, right?
18:27Ultimately, we ended up, we, meaning because of what happened in my mother's reaction,
18:33my grandmother had took me to CPS or whatever.
18:37They did an investigation.
18:39We ultimately were removed.
18:41My siblings were removed because I was removed, you know, even though I was the person that things
18:46were happening to.
18:47Because on top of being assaulted by her boyfriend, I was being physically assaulted by my mother.
18:52You know what I'm saying?
18:54So, because of the, what was happening to me, everyone was removed from the family.
18:59Ultimately, I ended up in, from family members to family members to family member.
19:03And then ultimately in a, what they call bad girl's home at one point.
19:08You know, it wasn't because I was bad, but my family had labeled me.
19:12And it just seemed like no matter who I went to, they all, they all just, that same label
19:17just followed me wherever family member.
19:20You know what I'm saying?
19:21At 15, I felt, filled out.
19:24I felt like I was in the world by myself, you know, just trying to, you know, I was family.
19:30At this point, I was only being used for the paycheck that they were getting from the state,
19:36you know, to take care of me.
19:37I kind of bounced around.
19:39I bounced all over the place for a while.
19:43And I was able to kind of, kind of stay with one of my other, my mom's other sisters,
19:49but not really, kind of stay there, but not really.
19:51I was kind of just bouncing from friend to friend.
19:53You know, I had adult friends who had, you know, their own places and stuff.
19:58And then ultimately I ended up in a relationship with who I call my children's donor.
20:03So my oldest children's father, um, and at 17, I got pregnant with my daughter, you know,
20:10who I have now, um, and ultimately have three children by him.
20:14Um, but that was a domestic relationship.
20:18I was 17.
20:19He was 21.
20:20Uh, he was already at 21 years old.
20:24That was just tumultuous.
20:27I knew if I didn't get out that relationship, I was going to kill him because he was very,
20:32very aggressive and I'm not the type to just sit back and get punched on.
20:35So I fought back.
20:36You know what I'm saying?
20:37We moved states.
20:39I've lived in shelters with my children just to be able to make ends meet, just to be able
20:44to find us our own homes.
20:46Thankfully, um, that has only happened twice and they were very young.
20:49So they virtually have no memory of that.
20:53Um, you know, from this experience and I'm, this is real condensed cause I'm missing a lot
20:58of stuff, but from all of these things that I've had to live through and experience and
21:04go through, um, I published my memoir, which is entitled, if my past wasn't so dark, my future
21:11wouldn't shine so bright.
21:12I published that book when I met my husband, who is now my husband.
21:17Um, because I realized that he was a good man.
21:21I didn't like him and I didn't know why I didn't feel like I could love him.
21:25Um, and so me questioning why I didn't feel like I could love him made me start to kind
21:32of dig into myself and kind of figure out, okay, what's wrong with you?
21:36You know, like, wow, you can't love this man.
21:38He go to work every day.
21:39He treats you good.
21:40Kids love him.
21:41Like, what's wrong with you?
21:43And so I kind of started picking at myself and that's when I realized I had all of this
21:51compressed trauma that I had never dealt with, that I thought was gone because I'm older
21:57now and I know better and nobody's going to hurt me now.
21:59I thought, and so I started manually writing my story and he brought me my first laptop and
22:10I wrote out that story.
22:12If my past wasn't so dark, my future wouldn't shine so bright.
22:15But from that memoir, I was able to fall in love with him because I was now able to see
22:22what was wrong with me, you know, and, and, and kind of literally identify it.
22:27And I was able to give those pains a sound, give them a feeling, give them a place, you
22:33know what I'm saying?
22:33And actually get them out of me, you know, and stuff like that.
22:37I was able to do something with it that I had never done that writing that book led me
22:43to social media where I have shared my story over and over and over again, because I, I
22:52wished I had somebody that I could have known or even heard of that was going through half
23:00the stuff that I was going through as a child.
23:02Now I didn't, um, I would love to say that Chester was the only person that ever touched
23:09me, but that's wrong.
23:11My aunt's boyfriends, they also touched me.
23:14Okay.
23:15Um, what I really want any, anybody that's watching this story right now, right?
23:20I really want you all to understand the power of forgiveness.
23:25That's something that I have learned on this journey of healing.
23:28That forgiveness is everything.
23:31And let me explain something to you.
23:33Forgiveness is not for the other person.
23:35Baby, forgiveness is for you.
23:37And I'm telling you that if I did not own the ability to forgive while I was reliving everything
23:43and allowing it to have a place and a sound and a feeling, I would not be who I am.
23:49Forgiveness is everything.
23:51I told you about my father being an absentee father.
23:54Well, he's in the other room right now as we speak.
23:57You understand what I'm saying?
23:58Forgiveness allows me to have a heart to still love on my father, despite the fact that he
24:04didn't love on me how I needed him to.
24:07For many, many years, I resented my father after a while and started to literally hate
24:13him because I felt like as a father, his one job was to be there to protect me.
24:18And had he been in the home protecting his princesses like he was supposed to, those other
24:23men would have never been able to take advantage of me.
24:25However, hey, you got to learn how to forgive people because he was young.
24:31He made mistakes.
24:32My mother, I forgave her.
24:35My mother and I have a good relationship to this day.
24:37She was just here, literally just left yesterday, right?
24:41I was able to forgive these people because these are people I choose to have in my life.
24:47My parents have done nothing for me that I need them for other than bring me into this
24:52world. You understand what I'm saying? But I still choose to have them in my life because
24:57with boundaries, I want my children to be able to experience their grandparents.
25:03And at the end of the day, like I told my mom and like I told my father, this is
25:08your
25:08opportunity to get it right.
25:11And even though I make mistakes, I'm getting up every day and I'm still choosing to keep
25:16moving and to keep going forward.
25:18And I choose every day.
25:20I see my babies and I choose every day.
25:23And I show them that parenting is not easy and parenting is not, it's not always a perfect
25:29science.
25:30But as long as I keep choosing you and you keep choosing me, then it's worth it at the
25:35end of the day.
25:36And that's really what I want everybody to know.
25:39I don't care what you're going through, baby.
25:41There is life later.
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