She Spoke Out Against Her Brother's Actions

Unfiltered Stories

In today's powerful episode, Tylisha Mapp bravely shares her personal story with us. At a young age, Tylisha experienced a deeply traumatic event that left her vulnerable and in need of support. Tragically, someone close to her exploited this situation through threats and manipulation, leading to further trauma and a profound betrayal of trust. Tylisha found herself trapped in a cycle of abuse that no child should ever have to endure.   Despite the immense challenges Tylisha faced, her story is one of incredible resilience and courage. By sharing her experiences, Tylisha sheds light on the importance of supporting and believing survivors, as well as the critical need for education and resources to prevent abuse. Her journey serves as a powerful reminder that healing is possible, and that no one is alone in their struggles. Join us as we listen to Tylisha's inspiring story of strength, survival, and the unbreakable human spirit.   #UnfilteredStories #SurvivorStories #HealingJourney   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.  Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00Hello, my name is Tyresha Mapp. My story is about how I survived childhood hell. I dealt with a lot

00:08of mobilization and rape and mental and emotional views from family members. So growing up in my

00:16household, I grew up with my mom and dad were both present and I have two brothers. I was the

00:22youngest. The household was like, I like to explain it, walking on eggshells. Everything was, had to

00:29be clean. Everything had to be perfect. You know, I had to really talk until we knew how my dad

00:35felt

00:35that day. If dad was happy, if dad was smiling, then we knew that everything was going to be okay.

00:41But if dad came in, slammed the door, or if he woke up and didn't taunt anybody, or they immediately

00:47got up complaining because we didn't wash the dishes, or if my mom didn't cook fast enough,

00:52or something like that, then we knew that it was going to be a bad day. So growing up, I

00:56didn't

00:56really endure any physical abuse, but I did endure the mental and emotional abuse. I did feel like

01:04it was worse. Sometimes I wondered why he didn't physically abuse me, and I think that that would

01:11have made more sense to me, to understand why he was just angry and would say things and words that

01:17would hurt me more than to just go ahead and just hit me, physically hit me and get it, you

01:23know,

01:23over with. So it felt like the emotional abuse was worse because that was daily. There was hardly

01:28a day that went by where we were being called names, or we didn't hear. I didn't hear my father

01:34being called names, or my brother being called names. It started when I was six, seven years old. I felt

01:40like the black sheep of the family the entire time when we would go to family functions. I was always

01:45the

01:46child that was left out, either by cousins, brothers, everybody. When I was 11 years old, this is actually

01:52when this happened. After we went to Houston, I was outside again, you know, waiting on my friends

01:58to get off the bus, and after me and her talked, I was, you know, walked alongside, and these boys

02:03having to still be outside are driving as well. Our bus stop was in front of our driveway. So as

02:09I was

02:09walking inside, I felt something behind and pushing me inside. They were trying to force me inside of the

02:17laundry room. My brothers were standing there, they were watching, and these guys pretty much

02:21told them, they said, we try, we'll try to stop what's happening. So after the boys did what they

02:27did, that's when my brother told them that it was my fault, that I should have not been standing

02:32outside, that I have no reason to be friends with someone. That's in high school, and I'm wanting it.

02:38My brother decided that he wanted to blackmail me. The reason why he was, I felt means because

02:44I was ashamed. He happened in my head that I deserved what I had went through. He said, okay,

02:50so in order for me not to tell our parents, and again, my dad is physically, mentally abusive,

02:55I didn't know if I was going to become the victim of being physically abused by my father. So in

03:01order

03:01for that to not happen, my brother essentially said that he would be able to have to leave whatever

03:07he wanted to, and that was the only way that my parents wouldn't find out women hackers.

03:12So this began when I was 11 years old. Most of the times when this would happen, it would be

03:18when my

03:18parents were at work, so it would be right after they get off of school. He would come home, and

03:23I

03:24pretty much immediately knew it was going to happen if I didn't, you know, leave the house where I was

03:28at.

03:29So I always weren't allowed to, and at that time, I was still a little afraid to walk around in

03:33the

03:33neighborhood by myself. So I would, you know, be upstairs in my wall or handle the girl. We start

03:38to mark that. Most of the time, what was strange was that he would start a fight with me. So

03:43he

03:43would start some type of argument with me. We would start fighting, and then before I knew, he would

03:48drag me upstairs, and then that's where it would take place. Or I would simply be on the computer,

03:54read the bottle, and he would, you know, come and start touching me, and then I just pretty

04:00much knew what was going to happen. If I said no, he would hit. So it was almost like he

04:06was taking

04:06his power back from, you know, the, you said, what had happened with my father. He was taking his

04:12power back on me. So if I said no, or if I did something that you didn't like, or if

04:19I said something

04:19that he didn't like, that was his reason to use me. I think I blacked out a lot of it.

04:25So I can't

04:26remember how often it happened. It definitely was a day. It was more so once or twice a mob, or

04:34if he

04:34was irritated, or, you know, him and my father got into it, that's when he would take it out on

04:40me. So

04:40it definitely wasn't a day being used. You know, like I said, maybe three or four times a month. I

04:45did

04:45only remember two times vividly. The other time was I, I definitely blacked that part out of my

04:51memory. I think the reason why these were more vivid in my mind was because it was the beginning. It

04:57was, that's when it first started to happen. I remember the first time after the boys did what

05:03they did. That's what the first time happened to me. So it was like three times in one day I

05:09had been

05:10assaulted. I remember sitting in my closet and I was crying. He was like, mama, daddy's here. Now,

05:17if you say something, I swear I'm going to tell the what happened to you in your s*** ear, you

05:23know,

05:23calling me all in his name. So I was sitting in my closet and I was crying out of my

05:27own father

05:27came up to me. She's like, what's wrong with you? And she was like, is it wrong? Because they knew

05:31even prior to this, we've always constantly fought with each other. So they were like, what happened,

05:37you know, why are we all fighting? Get out of the closet. Stop crying. It was like being the only

05:42girl and not being able to be emotional was hard that I grew up like that. It was like, my

05:46mom,

05:47she wasn't loyal to us, but she was always trying to protect us from my dad. So we were crying

05:52or

05:52showed any type of emotions. She wanted it to stop before he got home because she knew that that was

05:58going to cause a firestorm in the house. So I found him out in the closet and got myself cleaned

06:03up and,

06:04you know, got ready for dinner. It was that time of a minute, there was another time where I

06:08remember him falling grow. And actually, there's another moment where I was attacked again by

06:15another guy on the neighborhood. And it was more so because the guys just assumed that I was easy.

06:20Like it wasn't, oh, she was afraid. It was no, she's easy to mess with or abuse. And so there's

06:26another

06:26instance where this happened again. Right afterwards, I went upstairs and I just played

06:31video games. By this point, I was numb. It was like something that happened in my life. This

06:36happened all within a month or two. I was like, what is happening to where this keeps happening?

06:41And then I started blaming myself like, this is me. I can do it. I'm causing this. So I was

06:46upstairs

06:46playing on the video game. I heard my brother come in the door. I knew it was going to be

06:51something.

06:51Camel stands and was like, I was just outside playing basketball. And you know, this guy comes down

06:57that says that you, he just slept with you. So you know what that means. That's when that

07:02abuse started again. And that was another time that I remember. So after that, I can't remember

07:07how often it happened. I can't remember it. It had happened. I just knew that it can kill you.

07:13Until in week 13, because it stopped, my father ended up getting another dog in San Antonio. So it was

07:20getting ready to move again, but he was out of the home throughout the week. He would already come

07:24longer on the weekends. And by this sudden, I had developed a lot of hair over. My brother came home

07:29from school more day, and he was trying to do this to me again. And we got into a really

07:34bad

07:34fight to a point to where I had busted the blood vessel in his eye. And my mom came home

07:39and she was

07:40like, what's going on? You know, he said, why? Well, he was fine. He was like, oh my God, I

07:45kind of

07:45defended myself and now you are crying. So I felt my power back. I still didn't tell my mom what

07:50it was.

07:50I just told her, you know, I hate my mother. I wish she would die. I wish she would die.

07:54I wish that

07:54daddy one day will hit him hard enough to where he would die. And that was when he knew that

08:00he

08:01couldn't keep appeasing the Lord. I was about 17, 18 years old. I was dating a guy in high school.

08:07By

08:07this time, we were living in San Antonio. I had came both from school. This was the end,

08:12constant. And my brother fought constantly, either in Spitzley or we just verbally were constantly

08:17fighting with each other. And I think he was or some type of. By this time, my brother was in

08:24his

08:2420s. So he was in and out of living at home and living at home and living on the street

08:29at this

08:30point. So I think he was on some type of drug myself in or drug and came in and he

08:35was starting

08:35to fight with me. Again, a lot of these things, I think I've definitely doubted up trying to recall

08:40it. I think I've solid out or lacked out a lot of these skills. But the only thing that I

08:45can remember

08:46was we were fighting and he had a scenario in my throat and it was against the wall,

08:49but some kind of way I had a lie and I slit his wrist. And so my mom, you know,

08:55he called my mom.

08:56She wasn't there yet and said, you know, I need to, I need to go to the hospital. There actually

09:00was a

09:01hospital right above her house and my mom worked very close. So she came and she took him to the

09:05hospital. I called my boyfriend. He came to pick me up and he took me to this house. And I

09:10stayed at

09:10this house until about one o'clock in the morning when my dad, you know, came to pick me up.

09:15And my

09:15dad took me to Denny's and he sat me down and he said, you know, your brother had been having

09:20issues

09:21for a little long time. What is going on between y'all to the point where he would cut her?

09:25And

09:26still at that time, I couldn't tell my dad. But what I was able to tell him was that I

09:30was

09:30waiting to Houston and our brother sat by and watched it. I don't know if my, my parents just don't

09:36have emotions or because of, you know, back in the days or what it was, but it was just kind

09:42of

09:42like, I kind of knew how to figure that there was something more going on that guys did each

09:47other for no reason. So after that night, I came back home, went to school, everything was normal.

09:52And then we had my mom had a talk the next day and she was like, what's the, why did

09:58you do this to

09:59you learn? And that's when I told her, I admitted to her, I said, you know, Melissa didn't

10:03or refused it for years because the other boys molested me. And her response to that was, oh,

10:11that happened to me as a kid. It's pretty normal. My brothers did the same thing to me. We called

10:17it

10:17playing house. And I told her, I said, well, that's not what I state, what I interpreted from this.

10:22I didn't want this. You know, I wanted to know what it would be like to have it be my

10:27decision to

10:28lose my game. I didn't want my game to be taken because somebody wanted to take it from me. And

10:33what I did learn more and more from talking to my mom. And this kind of goes back to even

10:40my

10:40childhood. I had a female cousin that was doing the same thing to us. So my brother was already

10:45exposed to it because she was doing it. And then eventually she started doing it to me as well.

10:51So it was just like this, this cycle of everyone thinking that this is called playing house. But in

10:57reality, it's the older kids taking advantage of the normal kids and making it feel like this was some

11:02type of pleasurable things. We all went on like it was normal. We did not tell my father about this.

11:09My little brother has always been really quiet. He knew what was going on, but it was just kind of

11:15like, I don't want to talk about it. We just burst it under the rug like everything else it was.

11:20Let's not talk about this. Let's just keep coming, going along like with this normal family when

11:25in reality, there's a bunch of holes in it. I think for me, unfortunately, I took the road of

11:31becoming a little bit corpuscular because I felt like that was the only way that I would open up.

11:36I became angry towards men. My boyfriend in high school, we would fight a lot. I would hit, punch

11:43everything at school with him because I was just angry. You know, I didn't have anyone to talk to.

11:49I didn't, I couldn't be revealed to anybody because it was embarrassing to me. So I took out a lot

11:55of my

11:55anger on people that tried to love them. The anger continued. By the time I was 18 years old,

12:02I had met my first husband. We actually were in school together. So I've known him since I was 18

12:09years old. When I graduated from high school, me and him decided to, you know, become in a relationship.

12:16He had his own issues with his childhood and kind of talked about different things and our child works

12:21and found out, you know, what I understand now is called trauma bonding. So we kind of fell in love

12:27over that. And then he was like, Hey, I'm going to go to the Navy. And that was something that

12:32I never

12:32thought about. I was like, Navy, what is that? And San Antonio was popular as the Air Force and the

12:37Army. So I was interested in going to the Air Force, but I took my ASVAP test and did not

12:42pass.

12:43So I said, okay, well, let me go down to the Navy and see what this is about. Took my

12:46ASVAP test,

12:47went through the process of Charlie Joy. At that time, my husband was smoking, um, like stuff like that.

12:53So I had to get myself clean and detoxed where I could go. So I entered the military at the

12:59age of

13:00five, two years old. And I went in March of 2005. I got pregnant immediately. So by the time I

13:08got out

13:09of A school and I was on my first duty station, I became pregnant with my first child and my

13:15husband

13:15at the time was deployed. So everything was fine in the military until after I had my son. And then

13:22I went to a duty station where my grades are in the West and the military were aviation workers.

13:29So this was a heavily dominated field for men. It was me, three or four women, you know,

13:35in each duty station with this field. And then I developed a really bad drinking problem. I became

13:41an . I think that's when I couldn't norm the pain. And so I would get . And I would

13:48start

13:49learning to step out like, this happened to me and create men. And, and, and just like, it was

13:54unconsolable. It's that feeling of now I can probably tell someone. I will stay by the train,

14:00but it was around 2000 long. I had met our, a staff sergeant that was working at our, in our

14:05bedrock duty station. And we were good friends. He had helped me a little. He had met my husband

14:10before. He was a wonderful guy. And I had never had any type of, like, traction towards him or anything

14:16like that. We were just friends. Well, one day for some reason, if we were walking on the slow

14:20pit, I had also picked up smoking. We were walking from a slow pit and there was a hallway that

14:26was

14:26really, really dark. And the one where we went to that hall, when you knew that was like the smoke

14:30was, they called it the slowest peeway. He grabbed it from his shoulders, standing against the wall,

14:35and he grabbed one hand and he said, touch it. And he put it on his private car. And he

14:39said,

14:40that's what you do to me every time I'm writing you. I can't control myself. Now,

14:46students were in this hallway. I said, you know, that's what I want. He attempted to try to take

14:50me to the bathroom. And he was like, don't say anything. Don't tell me. You know, you want this,

14:56you know, I sue you when you're and you like it and all this other stuff. And it was like,

15:01I had, again, started blaming myself. Like, people think that they both treat me how they want to

15:06because I'm doing more or I get as well or anything like that. So, I tried to tell one nerd.

15:13I put videos called SAPRALS, like sexual assault, prevention, response. I told on him,

15:21and I went away to some of my friends and I said, guys have seen the way this is,

15:26this is what that isolated situation or a lot of where they had complained about when,

15:30but because, you know, the military is just kind of like, oh, brush it off. Don't say anything.

15:35It's a higher up. It's never going to get in trouble. So, I said, I'm not going to do that.

15:38Like, I'm going to come or take my power back and I'm going to tell Roman. So, I went and

15:43I went

15:43through the process of telling Roman Harold and everything like that. He was devoted. He wasn't

15:49able to, I guess, be promoted a little more. They eventually decided to kick him out, but I didn't

15:54get to see that process. Before I was able to see that process, they immediately closed the case

15:59because they said they didn't have enough evidence. All the girls I went to that asked to make a statement

16:04for both. They did not support me. And so, I ended up having to switch and go to my first

16:10active or

16:12deployable duty station. So, they immediately moved me, but I did still have friends that worked with

16:18that commander and didn't find out that he was separated from the military eventually. The hard

16:23part was that he moved me into a neighborhood that was near him. So, I would still see him until

16:29I

16:30virtually moved into a different place. I was covering the oil and lines seven years in the

16:35military. And my first husband and I had a lot of issues. I had made a terrible suicide attempt while

16:43I was in the military. So, it just put a strain on our relationship. Me and him decided to go

16:49our

16:49separate ways. And at that time, I had to go back off of my second deployment and I decided that

16:54I was

16:54going to get out of the military. But on that second deployment, that's where I met my now Hudson,

16:59that I'm getting out. Once I decided to go out of the military, we had been out one night. I

17:04guess

17:05you see the rest of its history. You were attached to the gift from that moment on. He was still

17:10in

17:11the military. I had died now. I had a divorce in May of 2013 from my first husband. Still,

17:18tend to this day, I struggled with trying to find my place in the world. But since I moved abroad,

17:23I've gone through a lot of like credit medicine type serenotals to where you're in an altered state

17:30and you can feed them and a lot of messages can be shown to you. And that's where I finally

17:37forgave my worker. And I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do that until I forgave her.

17:44And

17:45there were a lot of messages and things that I saw that made me realize, not to say that I

17:50understand why

17:51he did what he did to me, or not to say that it was okay, but I understood why he

17:55did what he did

17:56to me. I think that I went through life just angry. I was just mad at everyone. You know, I

18:02had instances

18:03where I blowed up on my mom and finally told her how much, you know, you didn't protect us, thought

18:09that this was normal. You know, I've been able to find my voice, but the way that I found my

18:13voice

18:14was in an angry way. And it was, by the time I had seen, I was intoxicated when I was

18:18able to do it.

18:19And that's also when I was able to finally tell my dad, you know, what happened to me. I think

18:24that

18:25that's what showed me back in life, was not me and to tell the people that was supposed to protect

18:29me

18:30what happened to me, or maybe I could tell anyone. You know, I was able to tell my parents,

18:35my first time school, my second time school, but I needed people that was in my family

18:40to understand what I had gone through. And it wasn't until then that I started to feel better.

18:46But outside of that, I was just, I was angry, constantly just angry.

18:49I felt like a misfit. I still feel like a misfit.

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