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00:28This is a production of WGBH.
01:30Neil Jordan presents the astonishing story of one of Ireland's most controversial characters, Michael Collins.
01:38With Liam Neeson as Michael Collins, Alan Rickman as Amon de Valera, and choreography by the Lord of the Dance,
01:46Michael Flatley.
01:50You know as well as I do, Deb, that this treaty hasn't got a hope in hell. A hope in
01:55hell I may be here to Westminster.
01:57That's why you're sending me to London. Because you want me discredited. You want me to be humiliated.
02:03You want me to return here laughing stuck while you don't even so much as dirty your hands.
02:11That's right.
02:13That was it.
02:18Tattered is.
02:24Bastard.
02:29Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
02:35right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
02:36right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
02:36right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
02:36right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
02:37right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right
03:03First time, Fat Republic heard us singing
03:05Some of them were pretty impressed
03:07They were pretty impressed
03:09Next time, lots of people started twigging
03:11We're a mighty voice over the press
03:14We're a voice over the press
03:15Now we have a brand new single
03:18And we're vlogging it as hard as we can
03:20As hard as we can
03:21So we made a spazzy clip
03:24With choreography by Jackie Chan
03:33The word integrity
03:36Is not in our vocabulary
03:39We're gonna do anything
03:42With an embarrassing to be seen
03:46We're gonna drive people mapping
03:49In every bad magazine
03:51In the magazine
03:53We're gonna wear anything
03:55Long as it's strangling and the same
03:59Cause look at what we can earn
04:01At least until we turn seventeen
04:10It's really sweet
04:24Good evening, welcome to seven sport coverage of the South Africa Cricket Tour with me in the studio this evening
04:28recently retired fastballer Craig McDermott. Craig, bet you wish you were out there for Australia this morning.
04:34Yeah, well I do David, there's no doubt about that
04:36I'd like to be out there for sure
04:37I'd like to be out there for sure
04:37Oh, the knee's gone again
05:01Oh, the whiskey bridge, it's a huge bridge that cars use to travel from one side to the other.
05:10it's f***ing brilliant
05:12look at it
05:14it's fantastic
05:17it's great
05:20f***
05:21I'll tell you a wee story
05:24about this bridge
05:25when they first built it
05:28when they first put it together
05:29they were going to put two lanes
05:32either side of the road
05:33but the designer said no
05:36f*** off
05:37let's put three
05:39and they said f***ing brilliant
05:42so they did
05:44and they've done that there
05:45it's f***ing incredible
05:49f***
05:52I was driving
05:54across the Sydney Harbour Bridge
05:56today
05:57jeez it creps on the Westgate Bridge
06:00doesn't it
06:01what a piece of sh** that is
06:13f***ing brilliant
06:14that's great the way you do that
06:16that's f*** it
06:18what's your name?
06:19John
06:19John
06:20that's a great name
06:21that's f***ing brilliant
06:23so John is that a gum leaf?
06:25are you taking from the earth
06:27and giving something back?
06:29it's great
06:29no it's a bus ticket
06:31yeah but it's still from a tree
06:33originally
06:34isn't it John?
06:36f***ing brilliant
06:37so how does it work John?
06:39tell us
06:39you blow into it
06:41really?
06:43that's f***ing amazing
06:45that's brilliant
06:46that's great
06:47that's fantastic
06:51f***
06:55you know
06:56when you vomit
06:58and it comes out
07:00it really stinks
07:06oh the trees grow up
07:08but man cuts them down
07:11oh why do they do such a thing?
07:15why can't man
07:16understand
07:17that he is one
07:22with string
07:24oh f***y f***y f***y
07:29f***ety f***y f***y
07:31oh f***y f***y f***y
07:34f***y f***y
07:40f***y f***y
07:43everybody
07:50well an interesting
07:51morning's cricket there
07:52Craig McDermott
07:53what would be the feeling
07:53in the Aussie dressing rooms now?
07:55well David
07:55I really think the Australians
07:56have to come out
07:57in this second session
07:58and really get stuck in it
08:05how's Michael going
08:06since we made him MD?
08:08he's going to make this
08:09a very profitable year
08:12certainly surprised
08:13a few people
08:14his performance
08:16has got the competition
08:17worried
08:19yeah
08:19he's a quiet bloke
08:21just
08:21goes about his business
08:25comfortable with his people
08:27too
08:29yeah
08:30stability
08:31with spirit
08:37I like his style
08:39oh he'll probably
08:40have my job next
08:43that's something
08:44I wanted to talk
08:45to you about
08:48really
09:00when you're here
09:01I'll say down
09:01it's the quiet ones
09:03you've got to watch
09:19ok sports insert
09:20for national 9 news
09:21take one
09:31yes well
09:32one of the things
09:33Australians are getting
09:33plenty of practice
09:34out here in South Africa
09:35is cocktail parties
09:37and tonight's spread
09:38is truly memorable
09:39there's some wonderful dips
09:41some really nice pâtés
09:43and a very very good
09:44dry martini
09:44in fact
09:45one of the best dry martinis
09:46I think I've ever had
09:47a very good drink
09:49that
09:49but meanwhile
09:51allegations of sledging
09:52continue to dog
09:53the Australians
09:54on and off the field
09:55and South African
09:56cricket authorities
09:57tonight are investigating
09:58an incident
09:59which occurred
09:59earlier this evening
10:00in which several
10:02Australian players
10:02were involved
10:03with South African
10:04captain
10:06Hansi Cronje
10:07that must be
10:08a rather interesting
10:09way to earn a living
10:10that must be
10:11a rather interesting
10:12way to earn a living
10:14because you get
10:15to travel a lot
10:16you know
10:16you can see the word
10:17so do you like cricket
10:18oh yeah
10:19you're really good
10:19and juices going
10:20now mate
10:21perhaps we should
10:23go somewhere
10:23a little quieter
10:24like to my place
10:28ooooooooh
10:28mate you're a shit out
10:30yeah
10:30I hope you stay in
10:32longer than you do
10:32out in the middle
10:33oh yeah
10:36very nice
10:37yes well there
10:38I don't think
10:38there's much to worry
10:39about there
10:41sledging
10:42dwarf
10:43has been part of
10:44test cricket
10:44history
10:46since Adam
10:47was a boy
10:48and I think
10:49the thing to
10:49remember with
10:50sledging
10:50is that if you
10:52cannot handle
10:52the heat
10:53then you better
10:54get out of the
10:55kitchen
10:56this has been
10:57Richie for
10:57National 9 News
10:59in South Africa
11:15come on Mel
11:17it's half past 12
11:19come to bed
11:19yeah all right
11:28swing it round
11:38evening senator
12:06have you been to the
12:07toilet mail
12:16just you
12:17just me
12:19just a big wank
12:21really
12:23CKB
12:24just wank
12:30now let me see
12:31by looking at
12:31your shoe
12:32I can tell
12:32you are
12:33immediately
12:33at size 9
12:34am I right
12:34yes I have
12:35very good eyes
12:36for the seeing
12:36of the shoe size
12:37one second
12:38you wait here
12:39I'll be back
12:40with the shoes
12:40for your foot
12:41okay sir
12:43it's a long way
12:45to Tipperary
12:47it's a long way
12:49to
12:57here we go sir
12:59I'm actually
13:00a size 10
13:01I tell you what
13:02I'll be back
13:03with the size 10
13:04for your big foot
13:05one second
13:06it's a long way
13:09to Tipperary
13:10it's a long way
13:14it's a long way
13:16to Tipperary
13:17here we go sir
13:18for you
13:19I have the wrong color
13:20I'll be back in a second
13:22one second
13:23please
13:23it's a long way
13:25to Tipperary
13:27it's a long way
13:31it's a long way
13:33to Tipperary
13:35here we go
13:35my senior
13:36what we
13:37I know
13:38I think I had
13:38the wrong style
13:39I'll be back
13:40it'll only take a second
13:42you wait here
13:42for sure
13:45sing
13:46it's a long way
13:48to Tipperary
13:49it's a long way
13:54it's a long way
13:55I've forgotten
13:57the shoes
14:03it's a long way
14:05to Tipperary
14:06it's a long way
14:08here we go
14:09the right shoes
14:10for you
14:10monsieur
14:12I'll get you
14:13the shoehorn
14:13and be back
14:14in one minute
14:21it's a long way
14:51now you listen to me
14:52I want a plain
14:53ordinary pair
14:54of black
14:54size 10 shoes
14:55do you understand that
14:56si senor
14:58I'm sorry
14:58I just
14:58can you do it
15:01si
15:01thank you
15:03please
15:03be following me
15:05to the store room
15:07sorry
15:24get away
15:26You piss-wee, mate!
15:28No force, girl!
15:29Give up!
15:31You bloody joke, mate!
15:37Pascarelli Productions.
15:39In association with the Graham Campbell Film Fund.
15:43Proudly present a musical based on a true story.
15:48Paulita.
15:54Goodbye, my Queensland cantina.
15:58The truth is I hate to leave you,
16:02but these invasions from blacks and Asians
16:07have made me realise it's battle stations.
16:13It's the tale of one woman's incredible rise to power.
16:16Listen to me, Mr Speaker.
16:20You'll hear my election platform.
16:25I think that hatred is underrated
16:28and homosexuals should be castrated.
16:34Should be castrated!
16:36Her amazing love affair with the press.
16:39Say something else, please, Paulita.
16:42We don't care how bad or stupid
16:46There's just no doubting
16:49This crap you're spouting
16:51Is selling papers
16:54So keep on shouting
16:56And her final tragic death
16:59From overexposure
17:01I'm about to cuck it
17:04I'm buggered
17:06They're sick of my ugly face
17:09But you can bet when I'm gone
17:12There'll be someone to take
17:15My place
17:31Well, on us about even between Australia and South Africa
17:33in that second session
17:34Craig McDermott, which way will this test match go?
17:37Well, David, hopefully Australia's the way
17:38Our boys really have to come out
17:40And test some beer
17:44Well, more bad news for Craig McDermott there
17:50Captured by aliens
17:51He really has had a bad job there, hasn't he?
18:04Mark?
18:05Oh, Mark
18:06Mark?
18:06Mark?
18:08Mark, as captain of the Australian cricket team
18:10How concerned are you about your inability to score runs consistently?
18:13Oh, look, I'd like to make more runs, obviously
18:15I make no secret about that
18:16But I'm hitting the ball well enough
18:17I'm just getting out, you know
18:18But it'll turn around
18:19In your last 20 innings, you've averaged two
18:21Selectors say you're unfit
18:22And they'll drop you if you don't make 50 in your next innings
18:25Pressure?
18:25Well, obviously that's pressure, sure
18:27But, you know, there's no use worrying about these things too much
18:29I know there's a big squad just around the corner for me
18:31Mark, you won't be aware of this yet
18:32But this afternoon, your Sydney house burnt to the ground
18:35And your wife and family were seen boarding a plane to Paris
18:37With a well-dressed stranger
18:38Any comment?
18:39Well, obviously I wish my house was still standing
18:41And my wife hadn't run over somebody else, you know
18:43But these things happen
18:44It's not the end of the world
18:45And I'm sure that a successful marriage
18:47And a house that doesn't burn down
18:47Is just around the corner for me, yeah
18:49Mark, there's a meteor the size of the moon
18:51Which is set to hit the earth
18:52And wipe out all civilisation later today
18:55Your thoughts?
18:56Well, obviously I prefer to live a bit longer than that
18:58You know, and not die in such a violent way
18:59But, you know, life's too short to worry about the end of civilisation
19:02All I can do is try to get my feet moving
19:04Hit through the line
19:05And I'm sure another galaxy capable of sustaining
19:07In evolving our unique life form is just around the corner
19:09Thank you
19:35Well, hello
19:36Hello, good evening, welcome
19:37Konnichiwa, bonsoir, bonjourner
19:39Guten tag
19:39Yasu and oogada-boogada
19:43I'm Ian Goodings
19:44Licensed newsreader for National Nightly Network News
19:47Remember, if it's a big news story
19:48We'll bring it to you
19:49If it's a little story
19:51We'll beat it up until it looks like a big story
19:53And then we'll bring it to you
19:54And if we're unsure as to what size it is
19:56We'll wait to see what Channel 9 does with it first
20:00And ahead in tonight's news
20:03A lucky escape for an Adelaide man as he moves to Melbourne
20:09Forensic experts date the remains of a skeleton
20:11At several leading nightclubs
20:13And the extortionist police call Mr Arseabout
20:17Threatens to impregnate tins of ICI poison
20:20With family assorted biscuits
20:23But first the news
20:24Channel 10 TV drama was all but wiped out today
20:27After an horrific mid-air collision
20:29Between a chopper from Medivac
20:31And a charter plane from Big Sky
20:33Doctors described the condition of the actors as unconvincing
20:44Well, tropical cyclone fencing
20:46Caused no damage in Queensland today
20:48Because it was properly erected
20:52And in local news
20:53A long metal pole with a net on the end
20:56Has scooped the pool
21:00Detectives were called to a Brisbane primary school yesterday
21:02After an 11-year-old boy
21:04Covered his art teacher in clay
21:06And locked her in a pottery kiln
21:09The boy was taken into police custody
21:11Whilst the teacher was later fired
21:16And while I think of it and read it off the autocue
21:18I should congratulate the network team
21:20On their superb coverage of the news set
21:23It's not easy filming a man stationary in a chair
21:25And adding to this wonderful coverage this year
21:27Is of course the Whitman's light ship
21:31Great to have them along
21:32And look at that
21:33Yes, it really does give you a much better understanding
21:36Of the way news is read, doesn't it?
21:38Just superb
21:40Well, the Whitman's light ship
21:42May be over our heads
21:43But one woman whose political views aren't
21:46Is Pauline Hanson
21:47Neither is she full of helium
21:49And floating high above me
21:51Nor for that matter
21:52Is she reinforced with an extruded steel frame
21:54And powered by a 4-litre 12-valve orbital engine
21:58In fact, any comparison
21:59Between the Whitman's light ship
22:00And Pauline Hanson
22:01Is, to my mind
22:02Quite outrageous and unethical
22:04She joins me now
22:05Mrs. Hanson, welcome
22:07Well, Mrs. Hanson
22:08First it was sheep
22:09Now there's talk of cloning humans
22:11Where does Pauline Hanson stand
22:13On the issue of clones?
22:15I don't like them, Ian
22:18And why not?
22:19They're different to us
22:22Well, no
22:23That's the point
22:25They're exactly the same
22:26Well, we were here first
22:29And I am sick and tired
22:31Of clones coming here
22:33Taking our jobs
22:34And whinging about my country
22:36Yes, but aren't cloned human beings
22:39Entitled to a fair go?
22:40Why should clones get welfare
22:42And other forms of preferential treatment
22:44When ordinary, original Australians
22:47Conceived through natural
22:48Rumpy, pumpy methods
22:50Can't get them
22:51Clones ought to stop living off the sweat
22:54Of hard-working Australians
22:55And go back to where they came from
22:58Yes, but they actually came from test tubes
23:01Well, they should have thought of that
23:03Before they started gestating
23:06Yes, Mrs. Hanson
23:06I think we'll leave it there
23:07Thanks for your time
23:08I know you're a very, very busy woman
23:09Oh, yes, Ian
23:10Sometimes I wish there were two of me
23:17I'm not sure about that
23:19Well, that's all from the news set
23:20Coming up in this day tonight
23:21A fair report
23:22Right after the news
23:24A footballer's knee is really hurting
23:28That's a story your family should not miss
23:30Until then
23:31Good night
23:42Thank you
24:08Ladies and gentlemen
24:11It's totally in control
24:13With Simon Forbes
24:22Hi, I'm Simon Forbes with three eyes
24:25And I am totally in control
24:28You know, recently while making love to a beautiful woman
24:31I decided that it was time to share the secrets of my incredible success with others
24:35People like you
24:37Gathered here now
24:38Or home
24:38Watching on television
24:40Insignificant
24:40Worthless
24:41Pitiable worms
24:42But, and track me on this one
24:44If you follow my simple recipe
24:45For power, passion and profit
24:47The three Ps
24:48You'll reap the same rich rewards
24:50The three R's with an S in there
24:51That I have
24:52It's true
24:53No, it's true
24:55No, it's true
24:57You have the power within you to totally control your own life
25:00If you listen to me and do exactly what I say
25:03You stand up
25:05What's your name, sir?
25:07It's Linton
25:10Linton
25:11Are you totally in control of your life?
25:13No, well, no
25:17Linton, repeat after me
25:18I am totally in control of my life
25:21I am totally in control of my life
25:25No, not you, me
25:25Oh, you are totally in control of your life
25:28Yeah
25:29Okay, now you try
25:31I am totally in control of my life
25:36I decide what I do, think and say
25:38I decide what I do
25:41Do
25:41Do
25:41Think
25:42Think
25:42And say
25:43And say
25:44There!
25:44You can see for yourself
25:45How effective and simple my methods are
25:48Linton, do you feel more powerful?
25:50Yeah, I do
25:50Do you feel more passionate?
25:52Yeah
25:52Do you feel like a tiger?
25:55Yeah
25:57Do you feel totally in control of your life?
26:01I feel totally in control of my life
26:03Good sir
26:04Thank you and goodbye
26:16Matt, where's breakfast?
26:19Oh, I'm going to the shop
26:21You want anything?
26:22Something with fibre?
26:24Something with fruit and nuts
26:25And
26:27Something low in fat
26:29Same thing with hammy
26:34And some milk
26:36Oh, a pack of twisties
26:37And a dollar's worth of mixed lollies
26:40Oh, get me a box of fantails
26:42Oh, and a copy of pen out
26:44And a packet of Tim Tams
26:46And some cigarette papers
26:48Oh, can I have a bottle of Fanta?
26:53Why don't we just smoke another bong?
26:55Yeah, really?
26:57I don't mind
27:18Are you all back?
27:20Are you all back?
27:22You're out of condition
27:23Give it up
27:24All day
27:28In the past
27:29Private health funds
27:30Have only ever seen us
27:31As singles
27:32And families
27:33However
27:34Medibank Private
27:35Now recognises
27:36That with rising divorce rates
27:37And the virtual disintegration
27:38Of the family unit
27:39There are some people out there
27:41Whose stress levels
27:41Will make them more likely
27:42To suffer health problems
27:43A single parent with children
27:45Is more likely to develop an ulcer
27:47Or have a heart attack
27:48Than a couple with children
27:49And so she'll be charged
27:50At a higher premium
27:51But of course
27:52There'll always be couples
27:53Who become singles
27:54Which means a greater chance
27:55Of injuries
27:56Through domestic violence
27:59So why should we all pay the same
28:00When some of you
28:01Can afford to pay more
28:02Get the picture?
28:04We feel better now
28:31Well, Mrs. Explosion
28:33What do you think of this room?
28:35They call it
28:36The honeymoon suite
28:37Oh, Roger
28:38It's beautiful
28:39Oh, I wonder who that could
28:41Oh, sorry
28:44I wonder who that could be now
28:45You get that, Roger
28:47I'm going to slip into
28:48Something more comfortable
28:49Moves to phone
28:53Mrs. Minister?
28:54What?
28:55I'll be there as soon as I can
28:58Trouble
28:59But how
29:02Holy Toledo
29:09Sir
29:10Explosion
29:10We meet again
29:12Butto
29:12My old enemy
29:13I'd let you go
29:14If I were her
29:15Yes, but you're not me
29:16Explosion
29:17And that is just the way
29:18I like it
29:19Roger
29:20He's got a grenade
29:36My God, Explosion
29:37It's lucky you weren't killed
29:39All part of the job, Admiral Koenig
29:41What did he say?
29:44Goodbye, Prime Minister
29:46What did he say?
29:48Explosion
29:49What do you know
29:50About the Bacteria Syndrome?
29:54Only that it
29:54Only that the Soviet's
29:56Been developing it
29:57Since the Cold War
29:58And that if it escapes
29:59Into the atmosphere
30:00It'll destroy the ozone layer
30:01Because it's extremely poisonous
30:03And without salt water
30:04It will continue to do
30:05Its dirty work
30:09Exactly
30:13Butto
30:15Butto
30:16I
30:17What's this got to do
30:18With Butto?
30:19I know
30:19What's this got to do
30:20With Butto?
30:21He's stolen the bacillus
30:23Aye
30:23He's hijacked
30:25An atomic aircraft carrier
30:27And was last seen
30:28With Ethel
30:28At these coordinates
30:29Don't worry, Minister
30:31Admiral
30:31Aye
30:32Roger Explosion
30:33I'm on the case
30:34Goodbye, Explosion
30:36Goodbye, Explosion
30:37And Godspeed
30:44Must get Butto
30:46Must get Butto
30:46And recover
30:47Atomic aircraft carrier
30:48And neutralise
30:50Bacteria Syndrome
30:51In salt water
30:51Thus saving
30:52Oto
30:53Lair
30:53And Ethel
31:00You'll never get away
31:01With this Butto
31:01You hear me
31:02Never
31:04Never's a very long time
31:06Baby
31:06And don't think
31:07That your precious
31:08Roger Explosion
31:09Will save you either
31:11There was enough TNT
31:12In that grenade
31:13To blow him to hell
31:14And back
31:15It'll be a cold day
31:16In hell
31:17Before that freezes over
31:18Mu-Tong
31:19Explosion
31:23Take this
31:28Get him
31:45Mu-Tong
31:47Mu-Tong
32:07Mu-Tong
32:25Oh, how horrible.
32:27Not as horrible as not having any ozone layer, baby.
32:30Quick, let's get out of here. This place is going to blow.
32:47Well, Explosion, the free world owes you another debt of gratitude.
32:51The Prime Minister wants to thank you in person.
32:53I'm afraid I can't. I have a honeymoon to attend to.
32:56Oh, Roger.
33:03Cheers.
33:04Cheers!
33:26Police forces worldwide have the difficult job
33:28in maintaining law and order on their busy thoroughfares.
33:32We look at the responsibilities involved
33:34and the men and women prepared to take them on, on the job.
33:42Come, Constable. Time's a-wasting.
33:44Let's be hitting the road.
33:45Hey, Sarge, Sarge, look. Look. Look at me.
33:50I'm a witch.
33:51Yeah, right.
33:52No, Sarge, I am. Listen, listen, listen.
33:54Listen to this. Listen.
33:56I want those shoes, my pretty.
34:00Get in the car, please, Constable.
34:03I could turn you into a frog.
34:05No, you can't. It's impossible.
34:07They can do anything now. They can clone sheep.
34:09I could turn you into a frog.
34:10Yeah, that's for food.
34:11Cloning sheep is for food.
34:13It should not be used for pleasure.
34:15I remember my old dad, who'd say to me,
34:17he was from the CSIRO,
34:19that the power of science
34:21should always be used for the powers of good.
34:24Feeding the many poor in the world.
34:29What are you doing?
34:30Nothing.
34:34We won't be using this bit, will we?
34:36Sarge, get it off.
34:41Thank you, Cheryl.
34:42No, over.
34:43Roger out.
34:44Over.
34:45Can I put my tape on now?
34:47No.
34:49Yes, certainly be eating up a few lines today, Constable.
34:52Well, what do you mean?
34:57Well, because we're driving so far.
34:58You know, we'll be eating up a few lines.
35:01Lines on the road will go into the car
35:03and it'll appear as though the car's eating them.
35:06Oh, right.
35:08Haven't you heard that expression before?
35:10No.
35:11I thought you meant we were going to be
35:12snorting some lines of cocaine.
35:13I didn't know what the hell you meant.
35:14Well, of course we don't do drugs, do we, Constable?
35:18No.
35:20We're on duty.
35:22You smoked that beady once, though, you remember?
35:24That clothes...
35:25Put your tape on, Constable.
35:27Yay!
35:30Meow.
35:34I love that show.
35:36Do you like Dash or do you like Maggie?
35:38I like Damien.
35:39The equipment we use is really, really sophisticated.
35:43You've got the speed gun and the speed camera.
35:47Sarge says that the speed camera is so sensitive
35:49you really have to be an expert to operate it properly.
35:52So he sets that up.
35:54I'm not allowed to touch it.
36:11Yeah, it's a pretty damn serious piece of business.
36:14There's a lot of maniacs on these roads.
36:16It's part of our duty we have to curb the amount of carnage that can result.
36:19Every day we're literally dicing with death.
36:21Did you pack the serviettes?
36:26The main consideration, I think, is this stretch of highway here,
36:29which is one of the worst in the state.
36:34The main area, the unsealed area of the road, is just as dangerous, I feel.
36:42Did you eat those hundreds and thousands?
36:44I remember...
36:45Oh, you're a little pig.
36:47I can't believe...
36:48God, we're not using any of this.
36:49The main area...
36:52Bee!
36:52Bee!
36:53Look!
36:54Would you shut up, please?
36:55Would you just shut up?
36:57Bee?
36:59I don't care whether there's a bee.
37:05The city is a jungle.
37:07But you've got to remember that out here in the country...
37:09Bee's your chicken.
37:12It's spineless.
37:13It's Jenny Craig.
37:14He's on a diet.
37:15Don't prod me in the breasts.
37:19One more word out of you, and I'm reporting you for insubordination.
37:22I'm sick.
37:23I've had you up to here, son.
37:24One more word?
37:25One more word.
37:28Fat pig.
37:30That's two words.
37:31No, I'm hitting my pen.
37:32That's two words.
37:32You said one word.
37:33It's got a hyphen in it.
37:36Oh, hang on.
37:39What are you bastards doing in my driveway?
37:53There's a man running through a forest.
37:56He's frightened, and he's hungry.
37:59He needs food and water, but he's looking for something.
38:03He sees a lake.
38:04He takes off all his clothes, and he dives into the lake.
38:08He swims in the lake, but he does not drink.
38:13There are fish in the lake, but he does not catch those fish, and he does not eat those
38:16fish.
38:17He just swims.
38:19The man dies.
38:22And I guess you had to be there.
38:25But my point is this.
38:26Do you know who that man was?
38:28That man was you, madam.
38:30And you know who you are, madam?
38:31You are all the people here tonight and home watching on television.
38:35You people are all this woman.
38:37A dead, naked, wet man.
38:41Tell you a story.
38:42Last year, I made $45 million.
38:45I have two homes, I'm married to three beautiful wives, and I have six enchanted, glorious,
38:51wondrous children.
38:52My life's looking pretty good.
38:54And is there something missing from my life?
38:56No.
38:56Am I happy?
38:57Yes.
38:59How much did you earn last year, Linton?
39:02Half.
39:02$45,000.
39:04Shit house.
39:05Good night, Tate!
39:15Yeah, I don't want any trouble from you, buddy.
39:16Just switch the engine off and wait in the vehicle.
39:22Okay, Constable, what were they doing?
39:24Oh, I don't know, Sarge.
39:25I reckon about 140 at least are going really fast.
39:28You got a speed gun, Constable?
39:29Oh, yes.
39:33139.
39:33I was really close.
39:35I'm getting good at this.
39:36139.
39:38These mothers are looking down the barrel at a pretty hefty fine.
39:41Yeah, they're real badass honky mothers, Sarge.
39:46Don't knock me in front of the camera.
39:50Right, give me the speed camera, Constable.
39:52What for?
39:53Because I want to hold it.
39:57Careful, it's not a toy.
39:58Look, I know it's not a toy.
39:59I don't need...
40:01Got you.
40:03Morning, sir.
40:12Well, he was nicer than the guy from the fire brigade.
40:15Oh, yeah, you think he was on fire the way he carried on.
40:17Yeah.
40:18Well, you got the speed gun?
40:20No, I gave it to you before.
40:21No, you didn't.
40:22You put it on the bonnet of the ambulance.
40:27Why didn't you tell me?
40:28Well, I thought you did it deliberately.
40:30Oh, yeah, as if I do it deliberately.
40:32Oh, so it's my fault, is it?
40:33No, thank you very much.
40:34I think it is your fault.
40:36It's coming out of your pay, chum.
40:37I'm not paying for another one.
40:37I paid for the other one.
40:39In fact, buddy, you can walk home.
40:40You hear me?
40:41You can walk home sunny, Jim.
40:45So can you.
40:48Turd.
41:09It's not big or small or love or lust
41:16or happy or sad
41:19or safe or dangerous
41:24unless you drink it.
41:52Well, thanks for everything.
41:56You take care of your mum now, Sigrid.
41:59Are you going to be my dad?
42:09If you have it down in Sydney...
42:16See you.
42:22We hope you enjoyed our Wednesday night movie
42:24The Crippled Drifter.
42:26And just a reminder that you can catch
42:27all the tension, the shouting and the water
42:29of Water Rats
42:31every Monday night at 8.30 here on 9.
42:33For all the latest news, sport and weather,
42:36Nightline with Jim Whaley
42:37weeknights right here on Channel 9.
42:39If outdoor living's your bag,
42:41get all the latest tips on Bourke's Backyard.
42:43Friday nights on Channel 9, still the one.
42:45And don't forget for the Little East,
42:47there's fun, music and the stench of alcohol
42:49every morning with Duck Boy
42:518am weekdays here on 9.
42:53And look out for the commercials
42:55in between and during all our programs
42:57here on Channel 9.
42:58Once again, we hope you enjoyed
43:00The Crippled Drifter.
43:01Stay tuned now for our Easter movie special
43:03The Ten Commandments
43:04presented by Mahatma Coat.
43:15Ladies and gentlemen,
43:19it's Totally In Control
43:21with Simon Forbes.
43:28The Ten Commandments
43:29Thank you for making a look.
43:30Thank you for making a look.
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