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00:03Remember, live with the back.
00:05And if you're carrying something sharp,
00:06make sure you run to minimize the amount of time you're holding it.
00:10Safety is no accident, people!
00:12What the? I thought I slashed the palace remodeling budget.
00:15Oh, we're not renovating.
00:17Though an ice fresco would bring the room together.
00:18We're preparing for the loudest, most dangerous,
00:22and unsettling day of the year, my parents' anniversary.
00:25What's so unsettling about that?
00:26They have loud sex, don't they?
00:28Not just now.
00:29See, they get each other spectacular gifts,
00:31which gets them so worked up
00:32that their sex becomes dangerous for the city.
00:35Yeah.
00:35Last year, their love made so big,
00:37it caused an earthquake that destroyed half the palace.
00:40I can still hear their screams of pleasure in my nightmares.
00:44Time for the big day!
00:45So, what's the plan this year?
00:47Orgy parade? Cock carnival?
00:50Turning yourself into an octopus so you and Mum can...
00:52Why am I pitching on this?
00:53Whatever do you mean?
00:55Did I count wrong?
00:56Is today not your and Mum's anniversary?
00:58No, that only comes once a year,
01:00which is exactly how long it takes the spank marks
01:02from last year's anniversary to go away.
01:05How could I have forgotten?
01:07You've been asking too much of me!
01:09The only thing I've asked you to do in the past month
01:11is take a bath.
01:13And now I smell phenomenal.
01:14It's thrown me completely off.
01:16Wait, if you forgot, then why'd you say time for the big day?
01:19Because it's always the big day when you're the big dog.
01:21If your mother finds out that I didn't plan anything,
01:24she'll kill me.
01:25Or worse, not give me my anniversary spanks.
01:28Then how will I remember for next year?
01:30This is a snowballing disaster!
01:32Is there a chance your mother forgot as well?
01:35Time for the big day!
01:36Because you're the big dog?
01:38Or...
01:38Happy anniversary, schlub!
01:40Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:43Yes!
02:09Just a little further...
02:11If the gift is the blindfold itself,
02:13that would be enough for me!
02:15Oh, don't be silly.
02:16When have our anniversary gifts been anything short of grandiose
02:19and increasingly hard to outdo?
02:21That is the spirit of the holiday, yes.
02:25Now look up.
02:26Nyx, we're ready!
02:28Called in a favor from the goddess of night
02:30so you could see the gift.
02:34I get older, the days get shorter.
02:42You made me a comment!
02:43It wasn't easy shaping a giant dirty snowball in your image
02:46and flinging it out into space so that it only appears once every year on our anniversary,
02:50but I think it turned out rather well.
02:52Look at my haunches!
02:54They're literally glowing!
02:55And I hope they're ready for a spanking later.
02:59Thank you, darling. It's amazing!
03:01And now I await your gift with near impossible expectations,
03:05knowing that this time it needs to be fitting for a wife, goddess, and a queen!
03:09Yes, you won't be disappointed.
03:14Okay, thanks, hon. We're good.
03:17Well, back to the grind.
03:20I'm calling them togas.
03:22Like togas, but for toes.
03:24Guess it's still the same word.
03:25Anyway, they keep your feet warm.
03:27And smelly.
03:28Count me in.
03:33Daphne broke up with me.
03:35Oh, no!
03:36That little wood nymph?
03:37She said we weren't right for each other and refused to elaborate.
03:41She cut off all discussion on the matter after only, like, three hours.
03:48What's that thing Hippo likes being?
03:50Rational?
03:51Yeah, he's not even trying to do that.
03:53I don't think he's okay.
03:55You know what?
03:55Foot Fashion can wait.
03:57Let's pull our brother out of these dumps.
03:59What do you want me to do?
04:00Act all friendly, glad hand party guy and show him a good time?
04:04Spend the whole night drinking and shenaniganing?
04:06I mean, I got nothing against the Nans.
04:09I'm just saying.
04:10It might take a little more than that to cheer this guy up.
04:13Get out of my way.
04:15I'm absolutely screwed if I don't find a mind-blowing gift for your mother in this chest of magical wonders.
04:21This is nothing.
04:23Genie in a lamp.
04:25Too tacky.
04:25I found it!
04:27There's got to be a shorter way to say that.
04:29Did he say genie in a lamp?
04:33Happy anniversary, Deliria!
04:35A stick?
04:37You shouldn't have.
04:38It's not just any stick.
04:40It's a time travel stick.
04:42Kronos gave it to me as a thank you for being his wingman during something called the Crusades.
04:46Bloody time.
04:47But lots of zealous hotties.
04:49Anyway, it's good for one round trip to a time of our choosing.
04:54Oh, time travel.
04:55Seems a little impersonal, but I suppose...
04:57I wasn't finished.
04:58I am going to use this stick to take us to...
05:04Our very first anniversary.
05:07Well, I'm excited to see where you're going with this.
05:11Uh, yes, because of course there is a whole fully wrought plan of which this magical visit to our former
05:18selves is but a small part.
05:21What then? Do we join them?
05:23Well, technically we mustn't interact.
05:25Kronos was clear.
05:27This is more of a look-don't-touch situation.
05:30But what kind of a gift would it be if it didn't involve a little rule-breaking?
05:36Hello there.
05:37Now, this is going to be hard for you to wrap your heads around.
05:40But you're us from the future.
05:42Bring it in.
05:43Drink with us.
05:47Behold!
05:48I am here to grant your heart's desires and maybe make some friends along the way.
05:54The rules are simple.
05:56Yeah, yeah.
05:56We don't need the rules.
05:57We've been to a genie before.
05:58Just everybody remember to be careful.
06:00These guys are notoriously tricky and love to mess up wishes.
06:03Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not me. No, that is not how I operate at all. I
06:09really focus much less on the letter of the wish than the spirit.
06:13Sure.
06:14It's true. I've been in the Vos two thousand years. I'm not going to blow a chance to make new
06:20friends.
06:21All right. Our goal here is to help our brother.
06:24I don't need help.
06:25I got a genie.
06:26Yeah, that's the spirit.
06:28Wait, you're not going to make Daphne want you back or anything creepy like that.
06:33Of course not. I'm not a psycho.
06:34Or not that kind of psycho. Daphne said we weren't right for each other.
06:38There you go. Yes.
06:39Which means there's something wrong with me.
06:41Exactly. Wait, no, what?
06:46So, one year in, how are things going between the younger us?
06:50Oh, it's been divine. Volatile. Passionate. Constant drama.
06:54On a vase, we're wildly incompatible. She's a god. I'm a monster. She's ageless. I'm basically a baby to her.
07:00She likes peanuts. I can't get on with the shells. But that's what makes a relationship so exciting.
07:06Our love did start out pretty messy and hot, didn't it?
07:09In fact, it's good you came. Things have been feeling a little too comfortable, too dull between us.
07:14Am I thinking what I'm thinking? Well, I certainly hope so.
07:17What would you say to a little schlub swap?
07:20I spend the day with your delirium, and you spend the day with mine. The only rule, no rules.
07:26I'd never turn down a little temporal swinging. Or would I?
07:30No, that stays constant. Oh, it's settled then. We swap our schlubs for the day, and we can rendezvous with
07:36this big Olympus party tonight as each other's dates.
07:39Ah, schlub, you've really topped yourself this year.
07:43Not yet, I haven't. But there's no time for that. Let the schlub swap commence.
07:53Oh, that was incredible. What is that thing you did with your tongue? My schlub can't do that.
07:58The double-jointed tongue isn't the only trick I've picked up.
08:01And future me gets to experience that all the time?
08:05Absolutely. I've upgraded in many ways. I hope my delirium can get past the awful bachelor cave I used to
08:11live in.
08:13Incredible. I truly forgot how taut your skin was. And your filthy bachelor cave only adds to the thrill.
08:21There's no way my future self is enjoying this as much as I am.
08:26I love ceiling sex. I love sex on a bear. I love sex in a jar. I love this pattern.
08:36These would make great curtains.
08:37Oh!
08:40What a perfect anniversary.
08:43I'm glad to hear you say it. Although anniversaries aren't the most important thing. You could say, forget one.
08:49You could. But if my schlub actually did that, I would consider it a betrayal of Zeusian proportions.
08:57Of course. One which, if confessed...
09:00Would result in absolute catastrophe. My rage would have no limit. Why do you ask?
09:05No reason. Shall we go again?
09:07What to change? What to change?
09:10I could give myself photosynthesis. Secure teeth. Stickier mucus.
09:14Hippo, you are perfect exactly the way you are.
09:17Oh, okay. So hold on. My super hot assassin nymph girlfriend said I'm not right. But my half virgin brother
09:24says I'm perfect.
09:25I'm not a virgin.
09:26You're virgin-ish.
09:27You're virgin-esque.
09:28I'm not any of those things. Maybe virgin adjacent. But as someone who also dated Daphne, by the way...
09:33You kissed once!
09:35And wasn't she trying to assassinate you?
09:37Okay. Whatever you want to call what happened between me and Daphne.
09:40Nothing!
09:41Assassination attempt.
09:42You know, you're not helping. I'm just saying, I've had my share of heartbreaks, okay?
09:46Before you change anything, give me a chance to prove that you're not the problem.
09:50You just need a little cheering up. You know what helped when Demeter and I broke up?
09:54The fact that you dated for one day and mom broke up with her for you?
09:57No. I treated myself. So, Jeannie, I wish we had a bottle of nice wine.
10:01The kind of wine made from grapes. Not the sound time makes when his toga rides up.
10:05Okay. Let me be more specific.
10:07It's really not necessary. I make a lovely red.
10:10You wish.
10:11That's fine, too. And you know what? You can call me Synovius. That's my name.
10:15Jeannie, I wish Hippo was getting pampered.
10:18Pampered. Gotta watch out for those near rhymes. Don't want Hippo getting trampled or gram-pulled.
10:24What is gram-pulled?
10:25When your grandpa shows up and pulls your intestines out of your butt.
10:29Well, I think we can all agree that the schlub swap was a success.
10:34And Cronos said this would be bad.
10:35I've never had more consequence-free sex in my life.
10:40Schlub, what an amazing gift. And to top it all off with a huge party on Mount Olympus.
10:45However, did you arrange it all?
10:47An entire year of single-minded preparation, my dear.
10:50Fantastic. So thoughtful.
10:53Yes.
10:54So what's next?
10:55Next?
10:55Yes. Where does it go from here?
10:57From?
10:58I mean, you've been diligently planning it for an entire year, so what's the big finale?
11:03Finale?
11:04I'll tell you what the big finale is.
11:06It's me revealing I know you didn't plan any of this.
11:10You've been making it up as you go. Admit it. You forgot our anniversary.
11:14Absolutely not. The finale is, all at the same time, every volcano in the world will erupt painting a picture
11:21of you in the sky made of lava. And it happens right now.
11:28I was hoping maybe I planned that during a blackout.
11:33So, are you feeling better about the break-up?
11:36No.
11:37No?
11:38Why not?
11:38Because I'm still me, Ty.
11:40Oh, come on.
11:42You know what? We did things your way.
11:43Genie, I wish I didn't need this stupid bowl to breathe and also that I had a glorious mustache.
11:50Mustache.
11:51Mustache.
11:51What word could I even confuse that with?
11:53Oh, I don't know. Moustache?
11:55Stoop, we can't let him...
11:56Either way, your wish is my command.
11:59No.
12:01Aw, well, what can I get you for your last two wishes?
12:04What?
12:05Two?
12:06But you said you knew the rules.
12:08Hippo, you're fine as is. Your only problem is not accepting this.
12:11I need to show her I've changed.
12:13Fine. Let's see how that would go. We'll roleplay it. Genie, I wish I looked and sounded like Daphne.
12:17What?
12:20Well, hello, Hippo.
12:22Ty, what the hell?
12:24Yeah, this is super weird.
12:26No, it isn't.
12:26Hippo, just talk to me the way you would...
12:29The way I'd talk to my girlfriend if I knew she was actually my brother?
12:32No, I mean...
12:33We only have one wish left!
12:35If I were more like Daphne, I believe our relationship might work.
12:39So, Genie, I wish I was a tree.
12:42What?
12:42Don't!
12:43Literally whatever you want.
12:46Go get her, Hippo.
12:48It's all true. The time travel, the schlub swap, all just a desperate attempt to avoid disappointing you.
12:54Are you contemplating how to punish me in a way I won't enjoy? That'll be hard.
12:58But I know you can think of something.
13:01Surprisingly, no.
13:02No.
13:02But you said you consider it a portrayal of Zeusian proportions.
13:06What?
13:07I never said that.
13:08Past deliria did.
13:09Well, of course, back then I'd have been furious.
13:11Raised a whole village to the ground to prove it.
13:13But I suppose I no longer feel the need.
13:16I find I'm quite relaxed.
13:19Accepting?
13:20How odd.
13:21Relaxed?
13:22Accepting?
13:23I can't believe what I'm hearing.
13:25With which part are you struggling?
13:27The part where he forgot your anniversary and you said,
13:30Oh, I'm done caring about whether my husband fears and respects me.
13:34That's a generous paraphrase.
13:36I, too, am rather alarmed.
13:38Could I even love a delirier who wouldn't tear me a third one for a mistake like this?
13:43As we all know, I already have two from a previous tearing incident.
13:47Oh, trust me, the drama gets old after a thousand years.
13:50A thousand years?
13:51We're together for a thousand years?
13:53Next you're going to tell me you have a tiny child running around sucking the life out of you.
13:58Three, actually, that we know of.
13:59Schlub, I think we should break up.
14:01It was a fun year, but I have no interest in a relationship where slights and insults are simply forgiven.
14:07I'd rather be dead.
14:08Couldn't agree more. Breakup accepted.
14:12You can't break up.
14:13What does that even mean for us?
14:21Happy anniversary!
14:26I've never seen a hole that looked more unwelcoming than I've seen my fair share.
14:30Perhaps that has something to do with us meddling with the past.
14:35Time travel paradox!
14:39Hi, Kronos, the guy who warned you not to mess with time.
14:42What it looks like, you messed with time!
14:46Don't let the singing fool you.
14:47I do it when I'm mad, and I am...
14:51Super pissed!
14:55Care to explain what's going on?
14:57It's simple.
14:58You breaking up in the past is quite literally causing the fabric of reality to fall apart.
15:04If you don't stay together, the universe will implode.
15:07Does that exposition expose it enough for you?
15:09But the universe is where I do most of my existing.
15:12And love-making.
15:13Call off your perverted little suck-hole, Kronos.
15:17Nobody wants to play your stupid games.
15:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
15:20It's not my suck-hole, and this isn't a game.
15:23I'm telling you, everything will end.
15:26Okay, why don't you two just get back together and fix the universe?
15:29I already told you, I'd rather be dead than end up like this pushover.
15:33I literally cannot emphasize this enough.
15:37Universe ending bad!
15:40God, we really were an overly dramatic couple back then.
15:44What the hell do we do?
15:45Maybe we just need to show our younger selves that we can still be dramatic.
15:49Loud, obnoxious fight?
15:51Follow my lead.
15:52Baby, tear me a third one.
15:55Fine! You want the truth? Why I didn't appear to get mad with you?
15:58It's because I'm always mad at you, schlub.
16:01I put up with a lot. Your squeaky hooves, your pea-corner, your other pea-corner,
16:06your third pea-corner, your excessive use of the word Opa,
16:10your hairballs and vice versa.
16:12So why would I be surprised that I wrote our love in the stars for you
16:15and got nothing in return but a husband who forgot about the most important day of the year to me?
16:21Okay, I think that's good.
16:23Maybe my past self is right.
16:25Maybe this relationship has made me too soft.
16:28I need some time to think things over.
16:30Devastated animal exit.
16:36Well, the universe had a good run.
16:41That was our last wish.
16:49I don't care. I'm going to see Daphne. The real Daphne.
16:54Why don't you carry me?
16:55Hippo, look at yourself.
16:57You shouldn't have to change this much to make someone love you.
17:00Oh, God, what have I done?
17:02How am I gonna live as a tree?
17:03What do I eat?
17:04How do I poop?
17:06Because, yep, I do not have an anus.
17:09I don't know what that's for.
17:11Maybe a teensy little bird lives there.
17:14You guys were just looking out for me.
17:16Should have listened.
17:16And now you're stuck like this, too.
17:19You know, I could actually probably live with it if I have to.
17:22I'm sorry.
17:25But yeah, no, we gotta fix this.
17:27I think I speak for all of us when I say
17:28we're just sorry you're going through this.
17:31And you don't have to change for us to love you.
17:33Jeannie, can't you just slip us an extra wish?
17:35To change my brother's back?
17:37I would, I totally would.
17:39But it's against the rules.
17:41And I really need this job.
17:43I have a ton of student debt.
17:45Jeannie's school is not cheap.
17:47Well, okay.
17:48But is it against the rules to hang out with your friends
17:51before heading back to your vase?
17:54Well, what the heck.
17:56One drink couldn't hurt.
18:23This has been the best night of my life.
18:25Are you sure you're not the genies?
18:27Because it feels like I'm the one getting my wishes granted right now.
18:32You're all right, Zenobius.
18:35I'm just worried about Hippo.
18:37What if somebody chops him down?
18:39Or he gets struck by lightning.
18:41Or turned into a chair.
18:43Or he gets wood rot.
18:44Or a woodworking class uses him to practice cabinets.
18:47Or he gets whittled into the shape of a little boat.
18:51You're right.
18:52You know what?
18:53Rules be damned.
18:55Friendship forever.
19:01It was for a teensy bird.
19:04I'm sorry you had to see us fight like that.
19:07Sorry?
19:08That was incredible.
19:09I've never seen myself so riled up.
19:11You really let me have it.
19:13Here was I thinking our relationship becomes perfect and I become boring.
19:16But it's messier than I could have ever imagined.
19:19Look at the resentment I come to harbor.
19:22It's genius, really.
19:23Pretending things are okay when actually they're not at all.
19:26Until everything comes out in one giant blow up.
19:29What could be more dramatic?
19:30Oh, if this is where we're heading, count me in.
19:33I agree.
19:34Plus I've never wanted to quiet us you so badly as I do right now.
19:41Well, what are we waiting for?
19:48Well, Cronos, grab a drink?
19:50Wish I could, but I am off to watch the formation of the Milky Way.
19:56The only way I know, brother.
19:58Ah, I hate you all.
20:03Deliria, I'm so glad you came back.
20:06Just to confirm though, you're not actually mad at me, right?
20:09Because you were very convincing.
20:10I might have goosed my reaction to get the message across.
20:14So you don't wish you were still more like the other Deliria?
20:17You mean that dumb bitch who was willing to dump the monster
20:20who risked destroying the entire universe just to make her happy?
20:24Darling, I'd destroy a thousand universes to make you happy.
20:28Cheers to another wonderful year together.
20:33Just this once.
20:35Open!
20:39Wow, Xenobius, you're such a good genie, but an even better friend.
20:45So, we're using our last wish to wish you could stay here with us for all time.
20:50Make sure he knows we mean time, the concept, not the herb.
20:55We want to make sure we're together forever.
20:57No, you guys!
20:59Are you sure you want to waste your last wish on me?
21:02Waste?
21:03We love you, Xenobius.
21:05Then your wish is my command!
21:14Tyrannus?
21:16Stupendous?
21:17Hip-hop campus?
21:19Hello?
21:21It's okay.
21:23They'll be back.
21:25They'll be back.
21:30Did you get any of that?
21:34Bento.
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